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Haiku / Yandere Simulator

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Hey Churuya-san!
Would you like a bit of this?
FWAH! "What the—" Splash! Thud!

What is wrong with you?
Why are you covered in blood?
Get away from me!

A giant titan!
I must kill all the titans!
Eren Jeager time!

The nurse has big boobs!
Plus a red outline for her.
Are you my rival?

Yandere Vision.
It's so great! It shows it all!
Even my Senpai!

It's not your fault, Miss.
I only killed you because
You are my rival.

Wrath, the deadly sin
Can make people do bad things.
Such as kill them all

Bullying people
Will make Senpai hate them all.
At least they're not dead!

I'm spreading rumors
So my Senpai won't love them.
Don't touch my Senpai!

There is another.
Another Yandere here.
I will kill her too.

Dead bodies gone stiff.
I didn't kill them! As if!
They smell bad! Just sniff.

Twitch... twitch... twitch... twitch... twitch...
What? There's nothing wrong with me!
I'M COMPLETELY FINE!!!

Balderdash! I say!
There's a good fellow. Ta ta!
Ah, tea and crumpets!

Changing my panties
Gives me new superpowers.
Power of panties!

Looking at panties
I don't like them! It's for work!
I just take pictures.

Yandere killing
Everyone in the whole school.
Aw yeah, dynamite.

Yandere you are
Heartbroken and all alone
Silly silly girl.

Death and blood everywhere
Someone needs to clean this up
Call the janitor!

Oh Senpai you're my
One and the only guy I
Love the most. Yes yes.

Ew! Yandere you
Are such a creepy lady
No more Panty Shots!

Info-chan you're the
Villain here. Don't go
Suggesting to kill.

Yandere-chan! Don't
Kill all of the students! Just
The girls! Remember?

Dying Alone is
No fun but don't become a
Serial Killer

Teachers are badass
They go around and fight shit
Totally awesome.

Cats are really cute
But not as cute as Senpai!
Senpai is the best!

A Covert Pervert
Taking lots of Panty Shots
I swear it's for work!

Twitching and moaning
Coming from the dead bodies
Oh jeez that's so gross.

Parents are now out
For about 10 weeks or so
Time to kill and stalk!

Picking up scissors
Makes it not as suspicious
When you go to kill

Oh what have you done?!
So you've just killed everyone?!
Oh you are so done!

Kokona. Poor girl.
Totally abused by dad.
I want to help her.

Running out of blood
Those dead bodies are heavy
It's leaving a stain.

"What are you--Hey! OW!"
"You monster! You just killed her!"
Oh, Senpai! Don't look!

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

He bit an apple
And I've got it right here, folks!
Taste all the teeth marks!

Senpai took a bite
But only one, not any more.
You dumb food waster! (reference to the apple in the stalker shrine)

The delicious blood
Is still on the old bandaid
I will lick it good.

I stole a toothbrush
Brushing with it is so great
I love it so much!

Oh my Senpai Shrine
So great you would not believe
Oh my gosh, yes yes!

My Senpai is dead
I killed him out of my love
I will be with him.

I'm visibly lewd
I'm just doing it for money!
I totally swear!

"There's been a murder."
"I need the police right now."
"It's a tragedy."

Teachers can't catch me!
No matter what they all do!
Ha ha ha—OH SHIT.

They spin in circles
When they try to go upstairs
You fucking dumbass.

Innocent, sweet girl.
That's Yandere-chan for you!
Yeah! Totally! Yeah!

Yandere you are
So cute and yet so psycho
Jeez, why are you both?

The 10 new rivals
Are nothing compared to me!
Senpai loves me more!

Was this just a prank?
Yeah, it's not very funny.
Please don't waste my time.

"Uh, who are you miss?"
"You're not one of my students."
"You're in the wrong class."

The teachers are cool.
So fucking badass and rad.
They're pretty and strict.

There are presidents.
Of Drama, Cooking, Occult...
They all must go die!

I go to deep sleep.
Nightmares about losing him.
Doesn't mean nothing.

Kokona you are
So sad and yet you look like
The cheerful Teto.
-WooftheWolfie

I shall spread rumors.
The class will make her begone.
My hands will be clean.

Murder your rivals,
Or make peace with them instead.
Sound familiar?
-astrokitty

You can't have Senpai!
He is mine, and mine alone!
I will kill you, bitch!
-superkeijikun

Oka, you are just
too cute. I don't think I can
make myself kill you.

-Grade0

Senpai, who is this?
Are you two together now?
Ha, not on my watch.
-know-your-paradoxes

Your father's in debt?
If you abstain from Senpai,
I will make things right.
-superkeijikun

Do I love Senpai?
Yes, I do, cuz he's for me,
AND HE'S NOT FOR YOU!

Hi! I'm Ayano.
Are you coming between us?
Then you'll have to die.

Stab them with that knife,
Then cut them into pieces,
Their power is mine!

I could always just
Shove her off of the rooftop.
She's up there enough.

Hello there Senpai.
You will be mine forever.
You don't have a choice.

I'll confess my love,
Under the cherry blossoms.
He'll have to say yes.

Go to the bathroom.
Surely you'll be safe in there.
No one will drown you.

Your mind is broken
And now when I say the word,
You will murder her.

Hold on a second!
Let me look under your skirt
I'm not being weird.

Holy shit, Oh crap!
I hate those damn delinquents!
They make it so hard

First cut off her arms,
Next up, it's off with her head,
And lastly, her legs.

Oh, poor Kokona,
You shouldn't have come between
Me and my Senpai.

Oh, Yanderedev!
Stop ignoring my emails!
I just have to ask you...

Shut up Midori!
We get that you are stupid,
Stop asking questions!

There is something weird,
About that open fan there.
That would really hurt.

A one-man army,
Working on this endlessly,
For his loyal fans.

I just want that bat
To beat you over the head
Wouldn't that be fun?

I see what you did,
And I'm really quite impressed,
I won't tell a soul...

On the other hand,
Please do not get me involved.
I don't want trouble.

Taro Yamada,
A great name for a great boy,
He will soon be mine!

Excuse me there, miss,
Would you mind bending over??
I need a photo.

I'm coming for you,
There is nowhere you can run,
Good bye, Ayano!

You founded the occult
So you could speak to monsters
And yet you have failed...

You are so naive,
You cannot see the demons,
Right under your nose.

You're a horny bitch!
You're seducing your students.
All for your sick game.

Well, hello, player.
It seems you've messed with the files,
Let's go have some FUN...

Remember my face,
I'll chase you down and end you,
You earned it, cheater!

Not that I like you,
We've just grown up together.
Don't say that. Baka!

Hey, let's play some jazz!
I think the turtle likes it!
I enjoy our club.

They built a machine,
Designed to destroy it all,
They did not succeed.

You are not evil.
You are just misunderstood.
So you ran to them...

You're covered in scars,
My dear, what happened to you?
Tell us your story...

Who dared to hurt you?
Who left these markings behind?
What's wrong, Osoro?

That girl is creepy.
Hanging out in the bathroom.
She watches me move.

It's very tempting.
That knife is right over there
I could just stab her.

I'm just a schoolgirl.
There's nothing strange about me.
I am not crazy!

It's a rap battle!
Everyone drop your weapons.
That means you, Yan-chan.

Senpai likes nurses?
That gives me a good idea,
To get him in bed.

The girl on the screen,
I wonder who she may be.
Stuco president?...

But she's more than that,
She's the journalist's daughter!
She's out to get me!

Welcome to our realm,
You wish to use my power?
You are not worthy.

You made quite a mess,
With all that blood left behind,
I'll have to clean it up.

So she is in debt.
I'll just kidnap the daughter,
Of Ronshaku Loans.

I will make you pay
For stealing that boy from me.
How do you want to die?

They make such a cute pair.
I'm glad she found a boyfriend,
Who is not Senpai.

I have this bandage.
His blood is so delicious,
I can't wait for more!

Senpai's young sister,
You want him all to yourself?
Well, that's just too bad...

Taro will miss you,
But it matters not to me,
He is mine alone.

Look at all these weights,
They could do some real damage,
If dropped from the roof.

You're so athletic,
Let's run together, Asu.
Just give me Taro.

Alas, Kokona,
We will miss you quite fondly,
When Kizana's here.
-Bomberman121890

Game Over! Yan-chan
ran into Nemesis-chan.
Watch Where You're Going!

Hold a katana
Walk through metal detectors
SCREECH! So Much for Stealth.
-Miss Desperado

His sister is dead.
If he learns that you killed her
He'll send you to Hell!
-Lattelawyer

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