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Groin Attack / Real Life

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  • Almost every "Living Darwin Award Winner" won the title through one of these, since the criteria for that involves surviving the incident (contrast to most winners who die), but taking enough damage to the gonads that you're still unable to reproduce.
    • One story involved a handicapped man attacking a burglar with his crutch. The burglar lost his nuts. He didn't get better.
    • Man tries to wash his own balls in a golf ball washer. Not a pretty sight.
    • Another guy blew off his nuts with a BB gun.
    • A drunken man once tried to have sex with a raccoon. Let's just say that teeth were involved.
    • A guy pleasured himself on a piece of running heavy machinery.
    • A man was found dead face-down on his couch... that had a hole in the cushion with a portable belt-sander beneath (sans sandpaper). Turns out the guy died of electric shock when a liquid came into contact with the plugged-in sander.
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    • A couple guys used a shotgun shell to keep their car running when one of their spark plugs failed. Naturally, it went off, hit the driver in one of his testicles, caused him to lose control of the vehicle and resulted in a fatal crash.
    • Another winner was a man who got sexually aroused by having his wife press an unloaded double barrel shotgun on his testicles and pull the trigger. The last time they did this, the man had forgotten to unload the gun after a hunting trip that day.
    • Still another winner blew off his nadges when he stuffed a sawed off shotgun down the front of his pants.
    • One man was reported as having been brought to the emergency room wearing nothing but a shirt and a bloody towel with a groin full of porcupine quills. How they got there is strictly speaking a matter of conjecture (the patient being distinctly incoherent due to alcohol and pain) but there are not that many possibilities.
  • Liverpool defender Phil Babb taking a goalpost to the nads is one of the most recycled clips on football blooper shows.
    • As bad as that looks the impact is spread out over a larger area. Try having a single testicle crushed between the toe of a soccer cleat and one's pelvic bone. Crying is recommended but not easy...
  • Monkey Steals the Peach.
    • "The impact will lift the enemy off the ground."
  • A popular prank in real life:
    Guy: What is the capital of Thailand? BANGKOK! (cue owies)
    You know what my favorite play is? The Nutcracker! (GAH!)
    Did you know I got a job at the airport? Oh yeah, what do you do? Check Baggage! (OUCH!)
  • Doritos.
  • "Posting" was an old method of English playground bullying. Step 1: find your victim, preferably smaller and weedier. Step 2: hold his arms and get two others to hold each leg. Step 3: separate legs and run him full-tilt into a nearby post.
  • In foil fencing the groin shot is a legitimate move, the target area being the torso and crotch. It's also legal in Epee, but in that everywhere is a legal target. The only time it isn't legal is with slashing weapons, like a saber. Getting stabbed in the nuts isn't a pleasant experience.
    • In fencing most gents opt from day one or soon after to wear a cup to defend against this. Target area being what it is and less-experienced fencers propensity to have less control of the blade, a nutshot in fencing is a When, not an If, proposition. Those that consciously choose not to defend themselves are rarely afforded sympathy when the inevitable happens.
      • ...and here is the same in samurai style
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    • This match suggests that sometimes old-school is the only way to go. Killer finishing move...
  • This Finnish battlecry during WWII: "Fire at their balls!"...because their militiamen tended to fire 'high' because they let their rifles jerk up in their hands when they fired. Urging militamen and raw-recruits to fire at the enemy's groins or feet is a trope as old as gunpowder-warfare itself.
  • Baseball
    • Cardinals outfielder Matt Holliday took a line-drive to the pills in a game versus the Dodgers. The fact that this was A) The third out of the ninth inning with a Cardinals' lead and B) A playoff game in C) a series the Cardinals would go on to lose means that we'll be seeing that replay for a long time to come. Cardinals fans will react predictably.
    • Then-Seattle Mariners third baseman Adrian Beltre, who doesn't wear a cup, took one to the happy place and was put on the DL for a severely bruised testicle. What makes it funny is that Ken Griffey Jr had the Mariners PA play The Nutcracker Suite during Beltre's first at-bat back
    • Also back in 1997 on the Mariners, reliever Josias Manzanillo took a Manny Ramirez comebacker right to the groin and had to get a testicle removed!
    • Such incidents seem to be commonplace in Seattle Mariners history. In 1980, pitcher Mike Parrott took a liner to the man area early in the season. Parrott went from 14-12 in 1979 (the team went 67-95) to 1-16 in 1980.
    • This poor umpire ended up on the wrong end of a fastball from Washington Nationals pitching phenom Stephen Strasburg. The catcher missed (or barely grazed) the ball. The sound you hear is (fortunately) the umpire's cup, but when a ball hits the man region at 96 MPH, there's only so much a cup can do. (The count after this pitch was one ball, one strike. Make of that what you will.)
    • Phillies first baseman John Kruk was holding a runner on first, when pitcher Mitch Williams threw a ball over to keep the runner on. The ball bounced and hit Kruk right in the nads. In an uncommon twist, examination of the injury actually revealed that Kruk had testicular cancer, which, thanks to being caught early, was successfully treatednote .
    • 2015 saw Oakland Athletics outfielder Billy Burns foul a pitch off the dirt, which promptly bounced up between his legs and him directly in the pills. (Some baseball players, outfielders in particular, are known not to wear cups.) He actually finished the at-bat but later had to leave the game due to a "testicular contusion" (or in layman's terms, a bruised testicle) - and, yes, those Exact Words were the official report used by the team, which the announcer for the Athletics was forced to read on-air. The injury (not to mention technical and extremely revealing nature of the verbiage used to describe it) promptly made Billy Burns a top trend on Twitter... which must have been a huge consolation after getting his eggs scrambled.
      • The Athletics seem to have a problem with baseballs and testicles. In 2019 the A's' Mitch Haniger fouled a pitch directly off his family jewels and had to leave the game. Later that night, the internet would come to find out that the official diagnosis was a ruptured testicle. YIKES.
    • On June 12, 2016, Cleveland Indians third baseman Juan Uribe had to be carted off the field after suffering a testicular contusion from a ground ball from the Angels’ Mike Trout that came off the bat at 106 mph. It was his last game in the majors.
  • This seemed to be missed by most people, but in 2006 when the Dallas Mavericks were playing the San Antonio Spurs for the NBA Western Conference championship, coach Avery Johnson made a last second player change, and Josh Howard received some collateral damage.
  • I Kicked Burning Terrorist So Hard in Balls That I Tore a Tendon in My Foot: Because they still make MEN up in Scotland.
  • This slalom skiier had an unfortunate encounter with a flag.
  • Groin attacks are the bread and butter of America's Funniest Home Videos.
  • According to an Urban Legend, an old martial artist challenged a roomful of martial arts masters to knock him down. One by one they tried and were countered. Then Bruce Lee stepped forward and kicked him in the balls. note 
  • Juggling with poi involves spinning two weights on the end of a rope, elastic or — oh horror — chain. Beginners spend much of their time hitting themselves in the face; ''male'' beginners, on the other hand...
  • This guy took a tennis ball to the nads For Science!. Said tennis ball was travelling at 50 mph. You can cry now.
  • Nasty The Horse, who posts various videos online of him finding new and wince-inducing ways of destroying his testicles.
  • A guy takes a bite to the scrotum from a bluefish.
  • This prank in a segment called "With Friends Like These" featured on the April 28, 2010 episode of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
  • Visitors and potential visitors to Six Flags Magic Mountain should be aware that the spinning roller coaster Green Lantern: First Flight has a problem with the spinning mechanism, the safety harness design or both so that at least some of the riders end up taking a substantial amount of the force applied on them by the coaster right in the crotch. In a lesser example at the same park, the adjustable seats on the stand-up roller coaster Riddler's Revenge have an unfortunate tendency to abruptly rise when the ride operator releases the safety restraints.
    • Heck, any stand-up roller coaster coaster, particularly those designed by the Swiss roller coaster company, Bolliger & Mabillard, can be painful in the crotch because the "seats" are essentially height-adjustable bike seats with shoulder restraints over them. Riddler's Revenge at Six Flags Magic Mountain (mentioned above) and Green Lantern at Six Flags Great Adventure deserve special mention as they are the tallest, fastest, and most intense of these coasters.
  • A famous Russian joke, also riffing on the large numbers and supposed incredible obedience of the Chinese:
    The Chinese Government asked for help in curbing population growth. The Europeans, Americans and Japanese all offered the latest developments in birth control, but they were all too slow and expensive. The Russians offered to do it for free and in an instant, and won the contract. They sent a number of Russian Army officers, who gathered up a line of 100 million Chinese males.
    Officers: "Ten-hut! Put down your pants!"
    Without hesitation, the men drop trou.
    Officers: Turn to your right!"
    The Chinese do in perfect unison. One junior officer mutters, "Wish I could get just 10 Russian rookies to do a right-face like that..."
    Officers: "Bend down and take your neighbour's balls in your mouth!"
    Again, they obey without hesitation. Then a soldier came to one end of the line, and kicked the first Chinese in the balls. The sound of "Chomp, chomp, chomp..." receded in the distance...
  • In one of Rooster Teeth's podcasts, there's one story where Burnie kicked Gavin into a metal sheet, penis first, while he was taking a piss. Gavin was pissed (as in angry). Sometime later, a drunken Gavin attempted revenge and flubbed it, getting hit again.
    • Gavin and Michael play "nut-ball" with each other in an Achievement Hunter video. This involves sitting facing each other and taking turns at lobbing an orange at each other's testicles, the first one to score a hit wins. Gavin loses, which is funny at first, but it rapidly stops being funny when he's curled up sobbing about how much pain he's in. Even if he did bring it on himself you can't help but feel a bit sorry for him.
    • Gavin shared on a podcast that he once had to undergo surgery for testicular torsion. Essentially, one of his balls had gotten twisted around, so the blood could go in but couldn't go out and swelled up like a balloon. He almost lost the ball.
  • Although it was a little of both funny and serious, TLC's "OMG! EMT!" series had a segment with a particularly combative old lady who did this to one of the paramedics who'd been called when she refused to go to the hospital for a procedure.
  • San Francisco 49ers tight end Vernon Davis was, on a play in 2014, tackled via groin grab. The resultant writhing in pain was completely understandable. See it here
  • This joke:
    How did Capt. Hook die? While scratching his balls.
  • During the pregame warmups for a 2015 playoff game, Tampa Bay Lightning goalie Ben Bishop took a puck in the groin- from his own teammate, Nikita Nesterov. One painkiller injection later, he earned a 2-0 shutout victory.
  • In a 2016 NBA playoff game, Golden State Warriors power forward Draymond Green kicked Oklahoma City Thunder center Steven Adams in his gonad. However, Oklahoma City blew out Golden State in response to the groin kick. Draymond Green later got a fine of $25,000, but he didn't get a suspension.
  • Policeman Frank Serpico fired upon an unknown assailant who refused to stop when challenged. Assailant was hit, staggered, but got away. Assailant presents to precinct house claiming scrotal mutilation by persons unknown. Serpico says "No, that's the guy I fired on." When pressure is applied, the truth is revealed. Assailant, now devoid of testicles thanks to Serpico's bullet, is wanted for rape.
  • An extreme (and non-comedic) real life example is the case of John and Lorena Bobbit, the latter of whom chopped off the former's penis after he allegedly raped her.
  • Word of wisdom: you may be able to out-fight your lover when you're both awake, but if they use a weapon or if you're asleep or someone fights with/for them? Think again. A father shot his daughter's abuser in the testicles. With a .410 gauge shotgun.
  • A type of tiny Amazon River catfish (parasitic, feeds on blood — fish, animal, human, it doesn't matter) called the candiru does a groin attack to males and females alike, mainly because that's the only part of a human or animal body (they swim into the gills of fish) likely to be in the water for an extended period of time — it finds prey by homing in on urine in the water, swims up the closest available orifice, whether that's the anus, vagina, or even the urethra, and extends spines to keep itself in place. Isn't nature wonderful?
    • The fish is real, and is attracted to urea because freshwater fish excrete small amounts of this substance via their gills, where the candiru wants to go. The part about them defying gravity to swim up a stream of urine and attack a guy who's only whizzing in the river is what's an urban legend — if a person's groin is below water-level at the time they urinate, it's fair-game.
    • Thankfully, it has been repeatedly proven that the candiru is not attracted to urea — in fact, it cannot detect urea at all. As noted, fluid dynamics also make it impossible for the fish to "travel up a stream" of urine. Moreover, the only documented case of a candiru being lodged anywhere (in the case it was a male urethra) is widely considered to be a hoax if for no other reason than the fish being too large to have gotten as far in without outside forces.
  • During WWII, Major William Fairbairn, who trained many special forces operatives for the Allies, was widely reputed to have a strong distaste for "fighting fair". Supposedly, when explaining the best way to take a man out in a given circumstance, the last step was always "And then kick him in the testicles". As in warfare it's very often "kill or be killed", military hand-to-hand combat training usually has not much room for fair fighting, so groin attacks are rather common.
  • Woe unto any predatory animal, male or female, that dares attack the ratel, aka the honey badger (not the tank named after it, though, but it is STILL quite a threat, too!)... If they can fight puff adders (extremely poisonous snakes in Africa, where both it and the ratel are from) and eat them, too, they won't hesitate to inspire fear to anybody that dares to go within spitting distance of one! The ratel viciously attacks anyone or any animal that threatens it. As if having immunity to snake venoms, skin thick enough to resist machete strikes, being aggressive enough to chase off lions, and having skunk-like musk glands weren't protection enough it's also got a reputation for attacking the testicles of large animals like lions and buffalo. Perhaps thankfully, actual documentation of this behavior is extremely rare, so it seems that if the honey badgers actually do so, it's apparently not something they intentionally do on a regular basis.
  • Riddick Bowe vs. Andrew Golota I & II — Riddick Bowe fought what was supposed to be a tuneup fight with the undefeated Polish heavyweight Andrew Golota in 1996, while waiting on an agreed upon fight with Lennox Lewis. He ended up getting out-boxed by Golota for almost the entire fight, only to win when Golota was disqualified for repeated wicked low blows that at times left Bowe on the canvas in agony. They fought a rematch after Bowe lost the right to fight Lewis, only to have Golota once again be disqualified for low blows, giving Bowe yet another pyrrhic victory. This would signal the end of Bowe's career at the age of 29, while Golota would go on to get his fight against Lewis, only to be knocked out in the first round.
  • In Game 1 of the 2008 Stanley Cup Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, Philadelphia LW Patrick Thoresen took a shot in the groin. He was hospitalized and told he might have to have one of his testicles removed. He was back on the ice for Game 3.
  • During the Battle of Stamford Bridge (1066), a lone Viking berserker stood on said bridge and held off the entire Saxon army for an hour. The berserker was finally killed when a quick-thinking Saxon soldier floated under the bridge in a barrel and shoved a spear through his groin from below.
  • In the band's "Behind the Music" episode, Metallica lead singer James Hetfield recalled an incident following the infamous pyrotechnic accident during one of their tours where James took the worst of the damage, and had to have his arm in a cast during which time he couldn't play guitar. One of the tour's technical crew accidentally hit James' arm, and James got so angry that he "punched him right in the nuts."
  • Tom Green essentially sees the time he had cancer as this (since it was cancer in that particular area).
  • Sam Houston took an arrow in the groin at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend, the injury keeping him out of the rest of the War of 1812. The Eric Flint Alternate History novel The Rivers of War changed this as the point of departure from our universe, the arrow only nicking his outer thigh, after slipping on a dirt mound, leaving Ensign Houston available during the War of 1812 to rally the defenders of Washington, DC (much to the despair of Francis Scott Key).
  • Double Subversion with parachuting. An opening and developing canopy will jerk the skydiver upwards (actually it is sudden deceleration of the free fall, not an actual upwards jerk), resulting in a sudden strain on the leg harness. Let's say it is nasty enough with a correctly packed parachute and to women. Bruises are commonplace. More serious injuries can result if the parachute has been packed incorrectly and the opening is not smooth but sudden and/or violent.
  • Territorial male seals attempt to bite each other in the groin when they fight, rendering their rivals incapable of competing for females.
  • Snails and slugs are hermaphrodites, but prefer to breed as males, so attempt to neuter each other with Groin Attacks before mating: whichever snail loses its testes is the one that gets pregnant. Flatworm penis fencing! Isn't nature fascinating?
  • Rabbits also target their rivals' tender portions when they fight. Territorial does do this when they don't want to make more little rabbits. To make matters worse, these fights usually end with said unfortunate bunny issuing the dreaded "rabbit scream."
  • Some guy in San Francisco removed his penis with an X-Acto knife because... it doesn't say why. He wasn't even drunk or high. It was either stupid or it was just a severe case of BDD.
    • Similarly, there's a video floating around online that was (supposedly) an entry for the BME Pain Olympics, which shows a man castrating himself. The title is only here for those with a bad enough case of Bile Fascination to search for it.
  • Removal of the male reproductive organs (and possibly including the penis itself) was one of the many, many ways you could lose a part of yourself in ancient Chinese penal codes. It most famously happened to the historian Sima Qian, whom Emperor Wu of Han had castrated for trying to speak up for a general who didn't do the honorable thing and commit suicide after he was captured by barbarians. Interestingly, the castration was probably intended to encourage Sima to commit suicide himself; he refused to do so, and instead completed his life's work (the magisterial Shiji).note 
  • The Israeli martial art style of Krav Maga has a thing for groin shots. The whole idea of Krav Maga is 'Screw the rules, use any and all weak points to defeat your opponent.' The groin attack is one of the first things they teach you. Growing out of the mindset not to do it is one of the first challenges many Krav Maga practitioners find themselves going through, particularly if they had previous experience with a more traditional martial art. In another Israeli martial art named Aiki, they call the crotch ‘The Electric Company’, as the body shuts down when it takes a hit there.
    • The Israelis aren't the only ones: the French Savate has the chasse Italien, that is a piston kick to the inner thigh that also hits the crotch (it's not allowed in normal competitions, but in street fight combat and MMA, it's quite helpful).
    • Medieval Italian martial arts manual Flos Duellatorum (Flower of Battle) specifically shows groin kicks as a swordfighting technique, making it literally as old as Feudalism.
  • Elephantiasis, resulting from an infestation of parasitic worms in the lymph nodes, can cause an internal Groin Attack, swelling the scrotum to basketball-size or larger.
  • Illustrated sword-fighting manuals from Medieval and Renaissance times include this trope in their arsenal of combat moves, both as a target for sword-blows and kicks. Definitely not Hollywood fencing.
  • The Groin Attack was the favorite duelling tactic of count Fyodor "The American" Tolstoy, famous Russian adventurer and duelist of the XIX century. In his numerous duels, Tolstoy, a crack shot, usually aimed for the opponent's groin, reasoning that "There won't be a sin of murder on my soul, and he won't be breeding any more fools". At least one of his opponents — Naryshkin — died from the groin shot anyway.
  • Another Darwin Award winner injected cocaine into his urinary tract, resulting in severe priapism that led to gangrene that cost him his penis, his legs, and nine of his fingers.
  • At least one (female) psychologist finds the idea of attacking the testes to be absolutely disgusting, and, among other things, suggests calling Groin Attacks "non-sexual genital assaults" to make them seem less funny.
  • Adam Lambert took one of these at the Manila performance of his GlamNation tour. During the dancers' intros, he dirty-dances with his choreographer, who at this particular show tried to counter a hip-thrust with a butt-bump at exactly the wrong time and got The Glam One right where it hurts. Check it out at 8:23 and onward. (This Glambert can't help laughing at his reaction every single time... even though it really shouldn't be funny.)
  • Many self-defense classes suggest kicking an attacker in the balls, then running while he's still in shock.
    • Subverted by other classes that recommend aiming for the shins. (The damage may interfere with the attacker's ability to run.)
      • On top of that, still other classes advise going for the eyes, as a kick to the balls will not do enough in the short-term to hamper an attacker's ability to chase after a potential victim.
  • Some cultures (predominantly in Northeast Africa) practice female genital cutting (or mutilation), which involves taking a pubescent girl and cutting away some of the tissue around her vagina. Mild cases involve trimming away the exterior labia or clitoris, while more extreme cases cut away everything and sew up the site, leaving only a hole for urine and menses to pass through. Some practitioners believe it is a necessary part of raising a girl properly, on the theory that it reduces a girl's libido and helps her resist illicit sexual behavior.
    • "Controlling libido" is technically true, in that many affected women can't stand sex at all because it's so painful, and therefore will not have it. ...If they develop any libido at all. (They often get triggered into flashbacks of their circumcision, as well.) The more well-intended men who genuinely think this is a good way to find a decent woman are unpleasantly surprised to find they can't even consummate their marriage.
    • Almost the entire world thinks it's a gruesome, barbaric, and misogynistic practice that should be ended. The act is designed to deny the woman any sexual pleasure, and it is often performed in a less-than-medical environment (e.g. a dirty hut with a large knife). To their credit, both the civil and religious authorities in the countries where it exists have condemned the practice in no uncertain terms. Probably the worst fact is that, usually, this isn't even performed by men, but by old women in the overwhelming amount of cases, who typically had it done on themselves by other women and simply don't know any better, no matter the amount of horrible screaming involved in the procedure (the girls are fully conscious, after all).
    • The more extreme version can also make childbirth extremely dangerous to both mother and child, if not nigh impossible. Midwives from countries where FGM is a common practice are often shocked by how easy (relatively speaking) labor is for women in the rest of the world.
    • From rituals to modern medical facilities, genital cutting has far too often been bereft of sufficient, if any, anesthesia. Contrasting ceremonial significance in the full conscious experience, hospital operations have varied from misconceptions of human sensations to inability in administering painkillers (especially for infants, who in the former were once thought to not feel pain as in later life, now understood to experience it more vividly, and in the latter are too at risk from general anesthesia, the only full means of nullifying pain during the procedures). Even if you were knocked out cold, no matter your age or sex, there's then the healing process of an open or stitched wound in your unders. Not to mention if it was less...satisfactory than planned. A dangerous prospect to force on anyone, anywhere, in any conditions.
    • Since we need some heartwarming after that, let's not forget the heroic African women who are organizing to resist and end the practice for themselves and their daughters. As local women, they know the strategies and arguments that will be most effective in their own communities; in some cases, local activists have succeeded in getting their entire communities to reject FGM altogether. And in the US, one of the world's most famous specialists in genital reassignment surgery, Dr. Marci Bowers (herself a trans woman), has a sideline helping victims of female genital mutilation. Using her experience in performing vaginoplasties for trans women, she performs reconstructive surgery to help FGM victims, restoring appearance, function, pleasure, and self-esteem. And she donates her services for free. She's also helping to train surgeons in Africa to perform the reconstructive procedures. Link.
    • Some more heartwarming, Germany in late 2016 has recognised male circumcision for what it really is — Male Genital Mutilation, and banned the practice entirely. Only in very, very rare medical cases is the procedure still allowed and even then it's difficult to get permission.
  • Giving birth can result in extremely nasty tears around the vagina (compared to our closest relatives our adults have narrow pelvises and our babies very big heads; you do the math). Until Penicillin V became available there in the mid-1950s, in Europe the death-rate for giving birth was 15% owing largely to gangrene (childbed/puerperal fever) — the current European death-rate being less than 0.01%. Of course, the normal/old death-rate remains in some of the least economically-developed parts of the world where antibiotics are still an expensive rarity.
  • Worryingly enough, a Groin Attack can occur more or less spontaneously and without warning. It's called a testicular torsion and is what happens when a testicle twists around a bit too far and cuts off its own blood supply. Not only is it very painful, but the testicle must be untwisted within a few hours or it will die — which, if that wasn't enough for ya, will result in gangrene if it's not promptly removed.
  • The sadomasochistic practice of cock and ball torture. Exactly What It Says on the Tin.
  • For some reason, it's common for people to think that kicking a woman in the groin is ineffective. Being kicked ANYWHERE is painful. The lack of testes means that a kick to the groin won't be quite as severe, but the female genital region still has nerve endings. A groin attack can still hurt a member of either sex.
    • Females are also more likely to suffer permanent damage from a groin attack, for a number of reasons.
      • Some of this damage involves (besides nerve damage) breaking the pubic bones. In the female, these bones are set at an obtuse angle (to facilitate childbirth), and they are more easily accessed. CRACK!!!
    • Any girl or woman who has sat down too quickly on a bicycle, or tried to hop a fence and slipped, knows just how painful getting hit in the groin is.
    • Plenty of playground girl fights show how common it is for a Groin Attack to floor a girl with the agony. This trope description implies it requires trained fighters or specialists to be able to damage a girl with a Groin Attack. Most of these examples show how wrong that is.
    • A fair analysis of why this view is held would point to just how much of a larger target the testicles are in comparison to the vagina and thus many impacts that would otherwise be a mere glancing blow to a woman is frequently a full on strike to a man. The vagina also has far greater protection from being grabbed or squeezed, limiting the variety of ways that she can be attacked in comparison to him.
      • There simply are not the same cultural barriers involved in hitting a boy in the groin as there are the reverse. Parents, teachers, friends and authorities do not teach young boys to aim for a girls' crotch if he gets into trouble, and if he does for whatever reason, you won't be seeing that on America's Funniest Home Videos any time soon. This is also evidenced by the fact that female groin attacks are of an extreme rarity on film and TV, and when they do show up such as on Shes The Man, they are portrayed as being of a minor inconvenience at best. It actually isn't all that surprising that many men are in the dark as to the fact that women also hurt badly down there.
  • Don't whiz on the electric fence, or a fence in a lightning storm. Loss of manhood may result.
    • Busted by MythBusters.
      • What they busted was urinating on a third rail. It's simply too far away for the urine stream to maintain its continuity. On the other hand, it's entirely possible to urinate point-blank onto an electric fence while either barefoot or wet (providing a grounding path). Thing is, most electric fences aren't set to kill but simply to discourage creatures like cattle from hanging around too close to them and possibly breaking out. The resultant shock is noticeable but not lethal.
      • On the other hand, lightning is going to be dangerous no matter how it hits you: including via a metal fence and a urine stream. Remember that a lightning strike is basically electricity breaking through the resistance of air.
  • Also, look up Wikipedia user Tim Nu, who claims to have undergone penectomy at the age of 12 due to a serious infection and now wants to shed light on the subject. The picture he uploaded to Wikicommons is pretty Squick-enducing.
  • Rats. The less said the better...
    • Bonus points: there were no medical personnel around as he lay dying in his pool of blood. Worst Aid at its finest.
  • This article. The man in the article pulled a Plaxico Burress. note  Except the bullet went through his penis AND his leg. You can all wince now.
  • Just type the words 'skater' and 'nuts' into YouTube's search engine if you get an enjoyment out of wincing.
  • Some thieves stole... We're not gonna go any further. Read the story here if you're really that curious. Police suspect the attackers were women the victim was cheating on. Perhaps this article will decrease the infidelity rate.
  • Marcus Junius Brutus, during the assassination of Caesar, elected to stab him in the nuts. Some say that this was an indication that Brutus thought he was Caesar's illegitimate son, but how much credence can be given to the theory is debated. "Most unkindest cut of all" indeed.
  • During a post-fumble pileup in a 2010 game, one Texas A&M player executed this trope against Nebraska's Ben Cotton, presumably to draw a personal-foul penalty for retaliation. Sadly enough, it worked — as is often the case in American football, the referees only saw the retaliation, and saw fit to penalize Nebraska a whopping 30 yards on the play.
  • Shaolin Monks train themselves to be resistant to crotch attacks. [1]
    • The trick isn't actually anywhre near "Shaolin master" level. Even a low-level trainee can learn to position their pelvis and tense their muscles in a certain way, which results in most kicks delivered from below to hit the bottom of their gluteal muscles. Unfortunately, the trick doesn't protect from (and even increases the effectivity of) a frontal kick.
  • Inverted with the usik or walrus penis-bone, traditionally used as a cudgel by Arctic natives.
  • Sex itself can be considered a Groin Attack because (although pleasurable) both parties do feel a certain amount of pain while in the act.
    • Only if you're doing it wrong. If it hurts, you didn't use enough lubricant, didn't let your bodies adjust to the action, or were just plain moving too fast.
    • In various African tribes, women use excessive amounts of soap to dry their vaginas (no one really knows how this came to be, though). The resulting "dry sex" is very much as painful as it sounds and serves to make them only do the deed when they want children (granted, "wanting" children or not isn't really a choice in most of Africa).
  • In 1986, rugby player Wayne Shelford of New Zealand caught a cleat in a very unfortunate spot during a pileup. He was able to get off the field under his own power and get back on after getting stitches. Let's just say said stitches were needed to keep certain genetically important objects enclosed in skin where they belonged.
    • The practice of "squirreling" in rugby football - ie, going for the nuts - is frowned upon by referees and is considered to be ungentlemanly conduct. It happens. A lot. One blatant example caught on film (in an international between South Africa and Samoa) still only attracted a warning from the ref and a penalty against the offender's side.
  • A man takes it upon himself to bite his (now former) friend's penis off because he was asked to turn down the volume of his Xbox. The man somehow managed to do this with only two teeth.
  • Surprisingly, this trope actually allowed someone to survive an assassination attempt. In 1981, CIA Double Agent Boris Korczak got a ricin-laced bullet to the kidney courtesy of the KGB. Luckily for him, the body treated the bullet as if it were a kidney stone.
    • Kidney stones themselves. On the microscopic level, they're covered in crystallized Spikes of Doom, and they feel the part.
  • Fournier gangrene (Wikipedia page featuring a squicky picture). It is a form of gangrene affecting the pelvis and genital area.
  • Origen was rumored to have castrated himself to shield himself from the temptations of the flesh after inspiring himself from Matt. 19:12 before later treating it as an Old Shame having prevented him from being ordained a priest in Constantinople.
  • Several religious sects practised ritual castration:
    • The Cybele's Galli cut their genitals during ecstatic festivities.
    • The Valesians in the second century AD only allowed castrated men to eat meat, and forcibly castrated anyone who traveled in their Arabian lands.
    • The Skoptzy, on account of the same verse than Origen, in Imperial and later Soviet Russia, from 1750s to 1970s, though castration generally stopped and/or reduced after the 1910s.
    • Some Heaven's Gate members went to a Mexico clinic to remove their testicles.
  • Recent paleontological discovery indicates that stegosaurs could hit their enemies in the groin with tail spikes, causing infection and evnentual death. A massive infection ate away a baseball-sized sector of the groin bone and probably a much larger chunk of soft tissues of the studied allosaur.
  • At the 1983 US Open tennis tournament, linesman Dick Wertheim, while officiating at the centerline, was struck in the groin by an errant serve, causing him to fall backwards and strike his head on the concrete, which proved fatal.
  • American troops are trained that if they come across a bunch of enemy troops who look dead after a series of air and artillery strikes, that they are to check to see if any of them are still alive, and if so, capture them. Normally, each check can take a while, and ties up two people at a time. However, if you opt to check a combatant yourself, the fastest way to test if he's still alive... spread his legs, and give him one swift punt to the footballs. If he's dead, nothing will happen; if he's not, he'll cry out in agony, and be even easier to capture.
  • During the Storming of the Bastille, one of the French commanders, when surrounded, reportedly kicked a pastry cook named Desnot below the belt. After the commander was killed, Desnot was allowed to mutilate his body with a knife.
  • In the Rio 2016 Olympic Games, Japanese pole vault athlete Hiroki Ogita suffered... an unfortunate accident during the qualifying round.
  • Chilean TV anchor man and show host Martín Cárcamo gets a still bike's disk to the nuts in live TV.
  • Welsh builder shoots himself in the crotch with hydraulic nail gun.
  • Male giraffes fight by standing next to each other and swinging their heads like Epic Flails while aiming for their opponent's belly and testicles. They've been known to inflict lethal injuries this way.
  • A a 3m (10ft) python emerges from a squat toilet and sinks its teeth into a Thai man's penis..
  • Chicago Bears defensive back Virgil Livers suffered a ruptured testicle in a 1976 game against the Oakland Raiders. While he was in a pile during a punt return, a Raiders player landed knee-first on Livers' crotch, exploding the testicle on impact. Livers continued to play until his swollen scrotum made it too difficult for him to move on the field.
  • In a 2010 infamous incident, Italian reporter Elena Di Cioccio wanted to prove whether English soccer player David Beckham did have impressive golden balls. Beckham was busy doing an interview with an American TV network while Di Cioccio — nearby — put on a pair of yellow rubber gloves. She nudged past the camera crew and grabbed Beckham’s privates. He jumped back and glared at her before security guards stepped in and dragged her away. After she was dragged away, she spent few seconds to contemplate with the hand that she just used to grab him and decides: "I touched it but it’s small." A Double Standard, since she got no (known) consequences from this.
  • Sucker punching a boy in the groin has long been a staple of playground bullying by both sexes, however the so-called sack tap has gained far more notoriety in recent years thanks to camera phones and Youtube. Due to its effectiveness at inducing a high amount of pain and emotional distress very quickly, it likely isn't going anywhere fast.
  • Want to feel uncomfortable? Canines when hunting big game usually go for the soft spots of their body, hook their fangs in, and twist to tear out blood vessels and make the prey go into shock. And what's the softest spot on the body? You guessed it. African Painted Dogs, Coyotes, and Wolves frequently do this in groups, thoroughly shredding the inner legs and groin.
  • Female Spotted Hyenas have a pseudopenis (an elongated clitoris that resembles male genitalia) that they mate and give birth through. The first time that they give birth the pseudopenis is far too small for the baby and is ripped open. Because of how difficult it is for them to give birth for the first time the baby often doesn't survive if the mother has never given birth before.
    • Hyenas also like to attack large prey by grabbing by the balls.
  • There was an infamous segment on The Talk where Sharon Osbourne told a story about a woman who cut her husband's penis off and threw it in the garbage disposal because he asked for a divorce. Disturbingly, she and all the other women got a big laugh over this.
  • Courtesy of Deadspin, the tale of an unfortunate NHL referee who took a puck to the crotch.


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