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Groin Attack / Myths & Religion
aka: Mythology

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Played for Comedy

  • Norse Mythology:
    • This trope being Played for Laughs is at least Older Than Print! The giantess Skaði (or anglicized as Skadi), whose father was killed by the Aesir, goes to them demanding reparations. Among her demands is making her laugh. Loki tries his hand at the tying his testicles to a goat's beard and proceeding to have a tug-of-war contest with the goat. You better believe Skaði couldn't avoid laughing then.

Played for Drama

  • In Greek Mythology:
    • When Gaia the Earth was sick of her husband Uranus the Sky (who was also her son) ramming their children back into her womb (or in other versions of the myth, eating them) because he hated and feared them, she fashioned a sickle and asked her children to avenge her. The youngest and boldest one, Cronus, then took the sickle, and castrated his father when Uranus let his guard down. Uranus then cursed them with the name "Titans", or "Over-reachers".
    • The Greeks may have gotten this story from the earlier Hittite myth, in which Kumarbi bites off the testicles of the sky god Anu and gets pregnant from them.
    • Adonis was caught in a Love Triangle between Persephone and Aphrodite. Aphrodite won, and the jealous Persephone told Ares of Aphrodite's new lover. Ares turned into a boar and gored Adonis in the crotch.
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    • Vincenzo de'Rossi's statue of Herakles wrestling King Diomedes shows one demigod, caught in a piledriver, countering by grabbing the other demigod's junk.
  • Egyptian Mythology:
    • Having murdered his brother Osiris, the Set dismembered the corpse. This included the severing of Osiris's penis, which was swallowed by a fish before Isis could find it and incorporate it into her late husband's reassembled body. He got better though after Isis created a new one for him out of ivory.
    • Later in the same myth, Seth gets one or both his Crown Jewels ripped off by Horus in a fight, depending on the version. What goes around comes around, eh?
  • The Fisher King from the Parcival mythos. A spear got him in the hips...groins...whatever. (Your Bowdlerize may vary, see here for details.)
  • From Japanese Mythology , there's the legend of "Kanamara" ("steel penis"), where there's a demon who takes a liking to a Girl Next Door, and forcibly gives her a Vagina Dentata via Demonic Possession, and who inflicts this on at least two prospect grooms during their respective wedding nights. The third groom was a blacksmith who forged a "dildo" and tricked the demon into biting it instead of his cock, managing to shoo the demon away and get Happily Married to the grateful girl. The legend would be the origin of the rather infamous "Kanamara Matsuri"
  • The Bible:
    • In the Book of Exodus, there is an oddly-specific law that states that if two men are fighting, and the wife of one of them attempts to put a stop to it by grabbing one of the fighting men's genitals, her hand is to be cut off as punishment for potentially rendering him sterile. (In this society, having children, especially sons, was a big deal, for both men and women. So by jeopardizing his ability to have children (or to have more children), she would be jeopardizing the estate of the man she grabbed, his status in society, his ability to worship in the temple (since men with crushed testicles were not permitted into the temple) and his old age (since elderly people were looked after by their adult children).) Presumably this punishment would also have applied to anyone else who did this, but this passage likely describes a very specific incident.
    • In the Books of Samuel, Saul agrees to let David marry his daughter Michal only if David brings him 100 Philistine foreskins. David goes above and beyond by bringing him 200 foreskins. Mercifully, some translations point out that he killed them first.

Alternative Title(s): Mythology


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