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Funny / Zero Punctuation

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Funny (Non-ZP) | Zero Punctuation 1 (2007 - 2010) | Zero Punctuation 2 (2011 - 2013) | Zero Punctuation 3 (2014 - 2016) | Zero Punctuation 4 (2017 - 2019) | Zero Punctuation 5 (2020 - )

With over ten years of running Zero Punctuation has had so many funny moments that we had to create several subpages. Check them out here:

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    Extra Punctuation 
  • From this Extra Punctuation: "Brink, besides being what a racist caricature of an Oriental person would say is their favourite Doctor Who episode, is also a disappointing game."
  • "I can't speak for everyone, at least not until the device is completed, but..."
  • The implications of Mortal Kombat Vs Mr. Men.
  • From "Why No Couples In Games":
    "Vamp in Metal Gear Solid 2 was implied to be banging Fortune, but only because Vamp was implied to be banging absolutely fucking everyone, including you as you read this. Try to hold still."
  • The conclusion to thinking about why Animal Crossing: New Leaf appeals to players:
    So, from a design perspective, these are the important lessons to take from Animal Crossing: New Leaf, besides of course "Don't play this fucking game, I'm serious, get away before it gets a hold on you, RUN MAN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE"
  • Yahtzee's history with adventure games:
    As anyone who views my Wikipedia page will know, adventure games and I have a history. I was practically raised by them, like Tarzan by the apes, and was only brought to civilization in my late teens to be taught how to stop stealing random useless objects and communicating only with the phrase "That doesn't work."

    Judging By The Cover 
  • His Mega Man cover review focuses on how everyone in the Japanese Rock Man cover and European cover are obsessed with Mega Man's ass and fisting it. When showing the infamous US cover, Yahtzee remains silent for a few seconds before brightly exclaiming, "LOOKS FINE TO ME!"note 
  • Hitman Agent 47's poster has multiple cases of rather hilariously blatant copy-pasting. Yahtzee even has a tune he hums when he's preparing the comparison. "Blimey. You see it everywhere once you start looking for it, don't ya? Not unlike racism."
    • In the same video he points out that some of the soldiers are up to odd things, such as a guy aiming at the ground, another guy crouched on top of a van for seemingly no reason, and one soldier who forgot to bring a gun and is trying to hide it by just miming.
  • His take on Charles Le Brun's Adoration of the Shepherds. Particularly his reading the look on Mary's face as a sarcastic eye-roll.
    "Oh no, the stable's on fire. Whatever will we do?"
    "Oh no, a cow's come to eat the Baby Jesus. Because that's totally what herbivores do."
  • Judging The Beatles White Album has to be seen to be believed.
  • "Party on, you gormless cunt."
  • Yahtzee tries to do a side-by-side comparison for the European, American and Japanese cover of Silent Hill. After being sorely disappointed by the blurbs on the back covers of the western versions due to their incoherence, he moves onto the Japanese version, hoping for the better:
    Yahtzee: Oh well, let's see if the Japanese can improve on their thus far dismal showing.
    (cut to the Japanese back-cover, which is written entirely in Japanese)
    Yahtzee: (Beat) Nice drop shadow! (hastily ends the video)
  • Yahtzee's utter disdain towards the title of Resident Evil: The Final Chapter which he sees as pretentious.
    Isn't it cute when films with the cultural value of a McDonald's drive-in menu start using the language of books? "The Final Chapter", like this series is being chronicled in some leather-bound tome by a noted scholar, when there is only one book one can associate with the Resident Evil series, and that is "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Appealing to One, Very Specific Demographic".
  • He gives voices to the horses on the cover of Defender of the Crown, to match their facial expressions.
    White Horse: (surprised) Oh, Harold, why are you wearing that tinfoil hat?
  • Yahtzee's interpretations of the cast on the backside cover of Dragon Age: Inquisition from left to right are as follows: David Bowie, Grace Jones, Joe Pesci, young David Bowie, Richard O'Brien, Daniel Radcliffe, Magneto, a man with a giant novelty "L" lodged in his head, Emilio Estevez, Emperor Palpatine, girl David Bowie, black Mary Poppins, and BRIAN BLESSED (which yes, he does emphasize).
  • Yahtzee's description of C3-P0 and R2-D2 on the poster of The Force Awakens as "robot optimistically modeled on an Academy Award and robot somewhat more realistically modeled on a butt plug with which to fuck oneself." He then is aghast Phasma is wearing a cape. "Fuck, did you get turned down from the Daft Punk-themed wrestling league?"
    • He then sneers that despite all the money thrown at The Force Awakens, they were still so cheap they cut-and-paste the Stormtroopers, proving it with his own cut-and-paste.
  • In his judgement of the first promo photo for the Suicide Squad movie, he describes Harley Quinn's new appearance as "Rocky-Horror-On-Ice-Castmember-Tripped-And-Fell-In-Some-Daddy-Issues."

  • The episode descriptions can be this at times.
    "This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee compares Sim City to Nazi Germany."
  • Arguably, Yahtzee's at his best when he can come up with a hypothetical scenario that literalizes a sarcastic remark, as in the above "My right hand on a Sunday night" and "last male panda."
    "As the disbelieving friend said to the inventor of the feces-powered helicopter, "THIS SHIT WON'T FLY!".

    "As the operator of a coin-operated artillery cannon might sarcastically yell to a retreating army, you should never be afraid of change."
    • Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon's aesthetic: "The vibrant neon colours on a dark background are kind of like undergoing reconstructive dentistry, in that it can make things hard to make out (slightly tortured simile)."
  • From an advert for the Mogworld audiobooks: "Now you can listen to me talk for thirteen hours without the expense of getting me coked up!"
  • The advert for the Jam audiobooks, originally used in the CoD: Ghosts review.
  • Yahtzee's contribution to Escapist's campaign to get the site a Webby in 2014:
    I think you know what you have to do now: annex the Sudetenland. Oh, sorry, I got that wrong. I meant: Vote for us! Then annex the Sudetenland!
  • If you lower the speed, it makes Yahtzee sound drunk.
  • His end-of-video plug for his 2017 book:
    My new book, Will Save the Galaxy for Food, is out now! It's a sci-fi comedy with all the usual sci-fi comedy themes: redundancy, hopelessness, and existential dread. Available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook from all good retailers and some dodgy ones.
  • The tradition of funny book-plugging continues in early 2018:
    My latest book, Differently Morphous, is out now on as an Audible Original, meaning audiobook first with print version further down the line, so get those ears unstuffed. It's a contemporary paranormal fantasy about the difficulties of adapting to modern life when you're a formless Lovecraftian horror from beyond the veil of time and space.
    (In the Mortal Kombat 11 review)
    My fourth novel, Differently Morphous, is finally available in print and e-book editions! Check in with your local bookseller! They'll probably appreciate it; they tend to be lonely people.
  • Jack Packard ignoring the text descriptions of Croshaw's game The Cleaner during a Let's Play, and getting tired of text descriptions, mocking that Yahtzee might be a clever writer, but he will willfully ignore the text.
  • Yahtzee and Jack debating which was better: DOOM (2016) or Doom Eternal. The best part is the Yahtzee-ization of Jack Packard as one of his characters.
    Yahtzee: (opening argument) Well, DOOM 2016 is better than DOOM Eternal. (beat) Thanks for coming, your turn.
  • Yahtzee and Jack's Mario/Sonic debate leads to them uncontrollably giggling at the end. Considering what The Stoic Yahtzee is, it's quite the accomplishment.
    Yahtzee: Mario, as a character, is beloved by all, not just by weirdos.
    (Jack giggles)
    Yahtzee: And Sonic has a very grim history of being beloved by all the weirdos of the internet. I don't know if you ever Googled your name plus "the Hedgehog"...note 
    (Yahtzee's avatar pours bleach in his eyes)
    Jack: I absolutely refuse to do that!


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