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    Luigi: It's a football!
    Mario: It's a stone—
    Luigi: It's a foot—
    Mario: —stone, Luigi. You didn't make it!
    Luigi: I—
    Mario: DIDN'T MAKE IT.
    Luigi: It's a—
    Mario: Stone! Stone! Stone! Stone! Stone! Stone!...
    (Luigi simply stares at Mario unamused for several seconds in the meantime, before throwing the football at him, knocking him down.)
    Luigi: Eggface!

182crazyK (Retired)

2charliegotguns2 (Retired)




  • Paula Deen Becomes Extremely Inappropriate
    • "I want to find some ways to die." Cut to static and color bars.
  • Paula Deen Bakes a Cake Drunk
    • "I'm gonna show you the birth of my son Jamie." Cut to static with the words "No thanks."
    • The cake Paula's making being a "1-2-3-4 Coke Cake".
    • When Paula mentions using her "mama's milk" as part of the filling recipe, a bunch of kids saying "Ewww..." can be heard. Paula's response? "Shut up, kids."
  • Chris Hansus Takes Things Too Far
    • "This 2-year old guy wants to spend a SuS afternoon chilling with a 30-year old girl, after sexting her 13 children." Beat. "But Mike Manzi's gay." Color bars. "Mike Manzi's sexy little day is about to go to shit."
    • Hansen tells Manzi that he's his daddy, Manzi says that he isn't, and it keeps going back and forth, until Hansen calls Manzi "little bitch".
    • Hansen's punishment for Manzi? Rape.
      Hansen: I need my cock in your ass.
      Manzi: Please do not! I really just wanna... Sigh.
      "CENSORED" appears on the screen.
      Manzi: Please do not! Please let me go home guys. Guys?
      Manzi gets raped, judging by the moans, while things start breaking.
      Manzi: (accompanied by a crash sound) This is horrible!


  • Into the Fuck Truck, the adventures of the Hooley Dooley Fuck Brigade.
    • "There's DANK MEMES stuck up in that tree!"


AlvinYTP (Retired)

antoine35DeLak (now Antoine Delak)

  • The Medic Loves His Patients
    (A Meet the Spy scene where the RED spy breaks the BLU medic's neck and disguises himself in front of his eyes)
    Medic: ... and ze doctor was never heard from again! (evil laughter)
    Heavy: WAAAAAHHH!
  • A Lesbian Love Story
    • Right from the start, the team smashes another van driven by the Sniper as he's being interviewed for his Meet the Team trailer.
    • This exchange leading up to the giant Demo-Bread Monster's arrival:
      Soldier: I f***ed unicorns.
      Engineer: What?
      Soldier: I am full of magic!
      Engineer: How much.
      Soldier: Tootus invisum modum invocum demoman!
      Medic: NO! Make ze magic stop!
  • Inhuman Thoughts is filled with all sorts of fantastic moments. It involves the bucket scene from Expiration Date, but instead of dying wishes, the Spy is presenting the team's most inhuman thoughts:
    • Upon learning the bucket contains porn, the Soldier absconds with it, screaming all the way. Then he immediately returns to the table after killing the Medic. It happens again later, complete with another return after three days have passed. Finally, at the end, when the Spy willingly offers the bucket to him, the Soldier refuses, agitating the Spy.
    • Medic's death gets a nice nod during the Soldier's second return:
      (Cut to the Spy's lounge, where he's reading. Some time has passed.)
      Medic (offscreen): Three days later...
      Spy: MEDIC! You are supposed to be dead!
      Medic: DAAARGH!!!!!
    • Scout's inhuman thought isn't a notecard, but a folder full of photos of his mother and the Spy getting frisky. Or at least, it seems to be the Scout's...
      Spy: Apologies. It's mine.
    • The Heavy forgot what his inhuman thought would be, so he just deposited a blank notecard. The Spy is momentarily confused before chiding him.
    • The Engineer, on his card, wrote the entire script of Meet the Engineer, which he begins to recite. The Spy quickly shuts him up before he gets past the intro.
    • The Sniper's inhuman thought?
      Sniper: To think... all I used to want to do was sell insurance.
      (Sad music plays as the captions "RIP in PISS Sniper's Hopes & Dreams," and "Liek if you cri evrytiem," appear. A tear rolls down Sniper's face.)
    • Following Sniper's reveal, a "Meet the Insurance Broker" title card appears. It slowly slides down as the fanfare dies down at the same time, revealing an incredibly unimpressed Spy.

AngryFatMan (Retired)


avojaifnot (Retired)



  • Nas kills deejays
    • Nash: "We never really saw the Dalek's Genesis."
    • Orcini with the Monado
    • Jobel: Provided that the bitch doesn't crumble to dust before we get her underground.
    • The stinger:
      Nash: I think I fell in man love with Aurelion Sol.
      Aurelion Sol: Naturally.



BarneyIsPerverted (Retired)

  • Spingebill Blows Exotic Instruments (original video no longer exists, mirrored here.)
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here..." (door slam)
    • "The problem is, I overdosed on ibuprofen and can't make it."
    • This scene:
      Squidward: "Okay, now. How many of you have played with Play-doh before?"
      (Patrick raises his hand)
      Squidward: "How many have you played musical instruments before?"
      Patrick: "Is penis an instrument?"
      Squidward: "No, Patrick, penis is not an instrument."
      Patrick: "Not the way I use em'!"
    • Plankton doing the AVGN theme on harmonica.
    • At the end, the band remembering Squidward's advice on how if they play loud, people might think they're good. So they play an ear-splitting Brown Note that leaves Squidward in shock.
  • Spingebill Experiences a Horrifying NDE: Mr. Krabs humping the sink drain.
    • And Subsequently, getting his dick caught and Spongebob turning on the garbage disposal.
    • "When you're Eminem, you'll really enjoy the way you taste." "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
    • "That sounds like my baby dropping...!"
    • "Do you want... four pickles?"
    • After Squidward goes crazy with the fire extinguisher, he walks up to Sponge Bob, who has a mustache made from the spray. Sponge Bob notices Squidward's beard (made from the spray, of course), and the following exchange occurs:
      SpongeBob: Hey, Santa!
      Squidward (wiping the beard off):' IT'S ME, YOU FUCK!!!
  • Spingebill Is Very Insertive
    • Bubble Bass sitting on SpongeBob.
    • "Hey, go fuck that bitch!"
      • (beeping sound) "Whoa, buried treasure!" And then he proceeds to enjoy Lady Gaga's "buried treasure".
    • This scene:
      Plankton: SpongeBob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?
      SpongeBob (as his pants fall down): Well, not all of me!
      Nat: Dude, put that thing away, there are like, children here!



  • Lawl Yayman sucks SeeS RooR
    • "Ladies and cocksuckers! My mom's name is Hay Paulmen, and I am Lawl Yayman!"
    • SeeS RooR: "The cocksucker! ...That had a real tough time getting SUCKed by Daniel Bryan."
    • "And in each and every one of those cases, CoC Sesnar had... 6...6...6... days to FUCK for those opponents!"


The Black Lodger

  • Starscream Forms a Satanic Cult
    • Starscream tries shooting Megatron in the back, but the latter walks away, completely unscathed.
      Starscream: What the f**k?! Megatron! You... you dig?
      Megatron: Fool! I cannot be terminated by a single blast from your puny weapon! I'm sick of your shit, especially at the cost of losing my cock!
    • Onslaught saying "Who the f**k are you?", with The Who's "Who Are You" playing afterwards.
    • Batman, of all people, attacking the Autobots.
    • Megatron confronting Optimus Prime.
      Megatron: Return to me what is mine, and I will show you my ass!
      Optimus: What the f**k are you talking about?!
    • "Siri, we need to know everything you have on the history of gay Decepticons." The response? "Sorry, I didn't quite get that."
    • "No Starscream! Not your ice cream, MY ice cream!"

Bluegroove157 (retired)

  • Mighty Sh*t Remover
    • "The super powered salsa that removes shit with confidence!"
    • "Its patented formula delivers salsa and detergent throughout your wash cycle, instantly removes shit from your clothes."
    • "How do you know it's not gonna dissolve more than what you need?" "Go [bleep] yourself!"
    • "Order now, or Billy Mays will ruin your onions!"

  • Billy Mays Sells Stuff Jacked Up on Red Bull
    • "You're on the toilet leaving a Hercules-sized shit and it won't come out." "Oh wait, that's Flummywister's video. Sorry…"
    • The whole "Gator Paper" part.
    • "Really long text that only appears for 1 frame, but you thought that you caught something while watching the video, so you replayed it a few times and tried to pause it at the right time to see what important thing was said here only to find that it means nothing! In the tone of Nelson Muntz, 'Ha ha!'"
    • "I have two of them because I have two of them. Most people won't get shit."
    • "We're here to tell you: go fuck yourself with the Jupiter Jack!" (Those involved in this portion of the collaboration do not encourage doing weird things to yourself with the Jupiter Jack)
    • "If you're having problems with hard water build-up, soap scum, ring around the toilet, calcium, lime, and rust stains, then you need to grow the fuck up! Suck it up and get a JoJ!"

  • Vince Shticks It to Your Sofa
    • "Hey, it's Vince Offer here with my new product called Shit on a Stick!"
    • "And ladies, you're gonna like the little dick, but you're gonna love the big dick." o_o

  • Cs188 does the JOJ at the GYAAYG
    • "Cs here, at the GYG!"
    • "I love balls."

  • Diabeetus has Wilford Brimley
    • "Good morning, Uh, I uh, uh, uh, uh… you know… shit." (color bars) "I'm Wilford Brimley and I shit in your apple pie."
    • "Well, if you have diabeetus, and your diabeetus has diabeetus, well, you have diabeetus." (O RLY? owl appears)
    • "I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes about diabeetus. Actually, about…" (Record Needle Scratch) "…diabeetus."
    • "Have a good dick." (color bars) "Have a good day. Yay."
    • "I lost all my shit, and as a result of all these things, my dick hurts like hell."

  • Radicalfaith360 Does it All Over Again
    • "We can shit in a Big City Toilet!"
    • "Today, I'm showing you how to screw your friends. So what you'll do is you'll take your penis and you will lightly tap your friend's ass."
    • "What do you do when you doo-doo in your car? You get Kaboom and stick it in your pooper!"
    • "Woody!"
    • "When it comes to FAAF repair in North FAAF, there is nobody with an A+ rating that has a high Better Business Bureau."

  • Billy Mays Discusses Those Awkward Moments
    • "It happens. You see your mom in the shower with no clothing, and you vomit your Big City Slider all over the bathroom. Hi, Billy Mays here with Zorbeez!" BAD IDEA
    • "It happens. You get your cock stuck in a bucket of cheese and it smells like shit. Hi, Billy Mays here for What Odor." WORSE IDEA
    • "It happens. You get gophers up your ass—Who wrote this shit?"
    • "You can also shit on a bed of onions for that classic shit on a bed of onions taste."
    • "Hey, check out the hay!"
    • "And you can't blow those businessmen the way you thought you could. Maybe you just went and drove, because you knew they'd ruin your cock for life."
    • "It's called the Shit King. When two laxatives aren't enough—hguoneenough— reach for the Shit King. Shit will fly from your ass at over 100 miles an hour! Call now and you'll get the Shit King kit complete with guaranteed diarrhea, all for just 19 sliced onions. As a special bonus, we'll also include our Shit Grater for no reason, freerf."

  • RadicalFaith360's "The Bitch Switch" Reenpoopment
    • Firstly, it's a role reversal for Radicalfaith360, he "made" the poop first, and then bluegroove and another user reconstructed it with actual Billy Mays clips.
    • "Billy Mays here for the Bitch Switch, the easy way to turn on any bitch, with the flick of a switch!"
    • "You can even shit in a child—" (WAIT! WRONG VIDEO) "You can even have sex in a rocket ship, or sex on the moon, or in space, or in the kitchen, when you cook delicious Big City Titties! Moms are gonna love it!"
    • "You can even flick the switch wherever you are, and it becomes the Handy Jack-it Switch!" (NASTY-EYAY-EYAY-AAAY)
    • "But I'm not done yet! Billy Mays—" (clip of a turtle)

  • WTF Spray
    • "Unlike other products that don't do shit, WTF Spray completely eliminates orange clothing forever. And is it true that WTF Spray can grate cheese with ease in less than 10 seconds?"
    • "Why am I shouting? Who f[bleep]ing cares?"
    • "If you wanna get the JoJ done, you want Billy Mays, a name you can trust. Introducing the Billy Mays Ultimate Cock, eight cocks in one!"
    • "Ordinary cocks are too small to get the JoJ done. My cock has the strength to pull this fully loaded, 80,000 pound tractor trailer!"
    • This:
    Anthony Sullivan: Hey, it's Sully.
    Billy Mays (over Jupiter Jack): Hi, it's Billy. I want the JoJ!
    Anthony: The JoJ died.
    Billy: Are you shittin' me? I want the f[bleep]ing JoJ!
    Anthony: Be there in about 20 minutes.
    Billy: No problem, see ya.
    Anthony: See ya then.
    (21 minutes later)
    (Billy and Anthony are watching this video)
    cs188: …against one of my, um, JoJ videos, and the person basically wanted all of the remix videos using foundation repair sources taken off YouTube…
    Billy Mays: God damn it! I wanted to do it all over again!

  • bluegroove157's Even Bigger 205 Subscriber Special
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here for bluegroove157. I know what you're thinking. Another fucking Billy Mays YouTube Poop — are you shittin' me?"
    • "Turtle!"
    • "…an inspector cumming in her cheese."
    • "And suddenly one day, our teacher, Miss Goodall, said there was a windmill stuck up her ass." (That's enough of Rosen's childhood!!!)
    • "Sometimes sex with Billy Mays is the solution! Sometimes Billy Mays likes to stick his whopping six-pound balls under—" (Woah! Too much!!!)
    • "Talk about a luxururururious bedroom! This is the one I had sex on. You're gonna love it!"
  • Billy Mays Gets Trolled at McDonald's
    • "I know what you're thinking. What prevents bears from taking HoH SiS?"
    • This:
    Drive-thru lady: Good morning, can I help you?
    Billy Mays: Hi, Billy Mays here! Can I get a sausage?
    Drive-thru lady: No.
    Billy: Make that two shit burritos.
    Drive-thru lady: No.
    Billy: You know what? Lemme wash that down with some Coca-Cola, I mean, cat urine.
    Drive-thru lady: No.
    Billy: What the fuck? I'm Billy Mays. You suck.
    Drive-thru lady: Okay.
    Billy: Can I talk to the fucking manager?
    Drive-thru lady: Okay.
    Billy: Asshole. Hi, Billy Mays here!
    Anthony Sullivan (over drive-thru speaker): Hi, Anthony Sullivan here!
    Billy: Are you shittin' me?
    Anthony: No.
    Billy: Fuck this shit. This is Billy Mays, and I'm going to Burger King!
  • The Billy Bazooka
    • "I love caffeine, don't you? Hi, Billy Mays here for Red Bull, the easy way to get up and go. Red Bull gives you the power to do all types of shit without breaking your back."
    • "If you're having problems with people's shit, then you need the Billy Bazooka, the most powerful bazooka that's legal!"
    • "It has the strength to completely eliminate storm-force oranges!"
  • Morons Away
    • "Here's how it works. Just add this thing, simply shit to activate—" (scene missing) "—pour in water, and hang it. That's it!"
    • "Use Morons Away outside to keep those pesky assholes from coming inside. Your family gatherings will be asshole free, guaranteed."
    • "So stop shitting next to your bed. Stop spraying What Odor to eliminate the odors. And get the ultimate green invention for your asshole prevention. Call now and get not one but two Morons Away for only 14 ounces of liquid."
    • "Burnt on shit will stick to any phone."
  • Mighty Orange Tough Acting Desh*tter
    • "It's powered with Billy Mays' patented gopher blood."
    • "I know what you're thinking: what about the rinse cycle? [bleep] you."
    • "…47 payments of pet hair!"
    • "You're gonna love my nuts."
  • Impact Sword
    • "Other hardwood floors suck and break down over time. Not my hardwood floors. Shit flies right from my floors faster than a gopher on crack."
    • "This giant medieval sword is the most convenient device to damage almost anything. Use it to cut through your shower with ease, or kill gophers for no reason."
  • The iSh*t Toilet
    • "I know I should have gophers."
    • microphone stand not included
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here for the iShit, the most affordable and easy way to pee and shit on the go!"
    • "The iShit comes with speakers. You hear music as you shit. If you want more volume, just turn it up."
    • "Ordinary toilets look like this. Would you shit in this?"
    • "Nothing is more important than shitting with confidence."
  • Liquid Weed
    • "Are you tired of using sprays that don't get you high?"
    • "Spray Liquid Weed into the air you breathe, and forget about life!"
    • "It's faster than glue and more satisfying than crack."
    • "…for 15 pounds of Phillips heads."
  • Billy Mays Gets Increasingly Annoyed With YouTube Censoring His Videos
    • "If you're too lazy to wipe your ass, then you gotta see this. Billy Mays here for the Never Wipe, the fast and easy way to wipe your ass without your hands." YouTube has stopped the advertisement for the totally awesome Never Wipe. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Crap."
    • "Wanna know the best way to get your stains out in the wash? Well, fuck you, asshole!" YouTube has stopped the advertisement for whatever Billy was about to sell. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "God damn it!"
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here. Do you enjoy the ride? Of course you do! But now you can enjoy the ride even more with Billy Mays, a name you can trust. Introducing Billy Mays Condom! Go longer and harder with the Billy Mays Condom!" "Yeah!" "That's right, with the new condom from Billy Mays, your enjoyment level will go from this—" (short bar) "—to this—" (longer bar labeled "SEX") "—in no time at all. Here's how it works…" We totally can't show you how it works. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Fuck. "
    • "Billy Mays knows how to please Your Mom!" No one needed to know that. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "Oh come on!"
    • "Hi, Billy Mays here" Add funny thing here in the morning. This video has been removed by the user. Sorry about that. "OH MY GOD! YouTube, it's over! Billy Mays doesn't take this!"
    • Billy Mays getting into a helicopter to bomb Google.
    • "Hi, it's Billy." "Hi, it's Carla. What would happen if you combined a cheese grater with a plate?" "I don't have time!"
  • JiiJ Played Baseball
    • "I'm Lieutenant Pingas, a juvenile police officer attached to your mother. I'm on my way to high school to hang up young people."
    • "JiiJ played baseball and he didn't feel like playing baseball, so he decided to play baseball all afternoon, and he didn't feel like baseball, so he decided to thumb a ho. Then during lunch, the ho died. Jimmy was arrested, and Jimmy was released, and Jimmy was arrested again, and JiiJ played baseball, and he didn't think anything was unusual." "It's not—"
    • "Public restrooms can often be a nice place to shit."
    • "Sure enough, Jimmy was playing with his balls, and when Bobby recognized his balls, Bobby hauled ass." VROOOOOOOM
  • Billy Mays Loses the Plot Entirely

  • Anthony Sullivan — Suicide Mop
    • "Now, it's made of synthetic potato that absorbs toxic chemicals in your shit, leaving toxic residue, killing you with precision accuracy in less than three minutes."
    • "Billy always said, 'You're a fat waste of oxygen and you smell'." (Mark3611 reference! Whoo!)
    • "As a bonus we'll double the value, and we'll also include 9 hours of Hall & Oates, free."

  • Billy Insurance

Boogidyboo (Retired)

  • Robotnik Protects His Sex:
    • I just got here! *BOOM* If it sounds too good to be true, it's probably SEMEN!
    • Amazingly, you have a penis!
  • Robotnik Blinks:
    • "It's time to unleash my body parts, and FUCK Sonic like a bug!"
    • "WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?!" "Who cares?" (cut to Heavy, looking affronted)
    • "What have you got?" "Penis! Let me show you how it works..."
  • Robotnik, She Wrote:
    • "If I had captured your companion, I'd be FUCKing him right now!"
    • Robotnik singing "Running in the 90s"
    • "There's no escape from the wrath of diabeetus."
    • The ending. "Oh, he'll be fine, he's fat."
  • Robotnik is Unstoppable:
    • "I haven't seen such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Walrusguy!"
    • "You're GAY?! FUCK you!"
  • Robotnik Meets The Tick
    Arthur: You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck!
    Tick: Gay Luigi?
    (Tick walks out of the room and smashes through the door frame in slow motion while a distorted sound plays)
    • The map light.
  • Robotnik is Due:
    Phoenix Wright: Youtube Poop. Where there's smoke... THEY PINCH BACK! What do you have to say to that, Dr. Robotnik!
    Robotnik: DAAAAAHHH, @%$#! I HATE that defense attorney! (throws penis at Phoenix) Pingas!
    • Robotnik isn't unhappy, in fact, he's... (extremely sped up footage of a Team Fortress 2 player griefing Snipers)
    • Robotnik and his mother:
    Robotnik: WHY did you leave the Mobius Home for Really Bizarre Mothers?
    (drowning theme from Sonic Adventure)
    Momma Robotnik: JOSH.



  • The Shit-story of the Entire World, I Guess
    • "Hey, can we go on land? NO. Why? The sun is a lazy fucker."
    • "Tired of fucking lame, sad people? Introducing: porn"
  • The Shit-story of Japan
    • "In the year negative a-fuck-ton, Japan might not have been here. In the year negative a-shit-ton it was here."
    • Japan coming into being with everyone using TVs, VCRs, and automobiles. Then the US comes using futuristic tech like bowls.
    "No, don't do that, if you're in the year -1,000,000,000 you're not supposed to use stones and bowls!"
    And japan said "HoW BoUt I dO ''aNyWaY?''"
    • "Making the government govern more like China's government, which is a govern-more-ment, which is a government that governs China's government, which is a government that governs more."
    • "The samurai became samurai, so they made their own sexytimes."


  • s3mengirl plays with her bubble wubble balls
    • "Hey, everybody, it's s3mengirl, and it's everybody's faav day of the week, when we ask ourselves, 'Is my penis jiggly?'"
    • "There's a little dick that you actually stick inside of my butt."
    • "Because I love you so much, I'm gonna suck your cock!"
    • "Hopefully, I'm not gonna squash your penis when I try and sit on it."
    • "I can blow you and pleasure you in the back of the store."
    • "I feel like my ear has been touched."

TheCaledioScope (all reuploads)

  • Eric ends his Relationship with Mike
  • Littlest Pork Chop
    Blythe: You wanna have a free Slap Chop?
    Zoe Trent: Don't you dare send ♪that crap to me~♪"
  • The Neverending Critic Reviews The Roof
    • "Once upon a time, there was a movie called Toy Story. And it blew." (troll face)
    • "Jessica Elwood." (She is an artist on DeviantArt and FurAffinity. For the people who like furry/anthro art you really gotta chack [sic] her art out! <3)
    • "And Jesus went up to Jurassic Pork."
    • "Did you know that pussies get wet?"
    • "Bowser's Incest Story."
    • This:
    The Nostalgia Critic: Let's dive right into The Roof. We cut to our star of our movie, Soap.
    Tommy Wiseau (distorted and red-tinted): Hi babe.
    Critic: (screams) The devil!
    Devil!Wiseau: I have something for you. I haven't forgotten you, Critic!
    Critic: (screams again and runs out of the room) And we've just witnessed your Nightmare Fuel for the week, people. Be very afraid.
    • "5-Hour Energy. My name is Jay Lynn, and I am soup."
    • "He's a skiiks! She's a skiiks!"
  • Billy Mayhem
    • "Those restaurant mini-burgers need to die!"
    • "Everyone loves Billy Mays, so buy Billy Mays right now. Here's how to order!"
    • "Moms, you're gonna love Billy Mays' big cock."
    • "Mighty Putty is not a glue. Mighty Putty is a glue."
    • "Are you on the bomb?" "Wow, what's this?" "It's new Oxi-Bomb Detergent. Get on the bomb and you'll never have to pour or measure detergent again." "So how does it work?" "Just place the Oxi Bomb detergent ball in the blue toss and go dispenser. Just toss and go. It stays in your—" BOOM "You shittin' me?"










Chris 10237


Cicabeot 1


  • "I'M GUNNA SHOOT SOMEBODY", a two-part 14.5-minute epic in which cjflo manages to make R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" even more ridiculous than the original:
    • From part one we have: Then a knock on the door, the gun's in my hand/He opens the door, the gun's in my hand/He looks at the closet, I pull out my Beretta/He opens the door, I can't believe it's a midget... ...Well...GET TO THE POINT! Or I'M GUNNA SHOOT SOMEBODY...
      • It's the way the guy just lets his arm drop and stares into oblivion, like his life is now complete that makes it!
    • From part two we have: Twan opens the door and it's Rosie the nosy neighbor...then all of a sudden, '''POW!'''
      And then we all laughed, Twan said, "She gonna die?" "No doubt!]
    • Any time the title gets dropped. The midget even gets shot after he says it.
  • "You are already subscribed to BILL COSBY", another epic from one of her favorite sources, The Cosby Show:
    • The opening credits sequence gets a surreal makeover, with Cosby's name spammed numerous times and his face contorted in the most ridiculous fashions.
    • In all its glory:
      Creative Consultant/Producer/Co-executive Producer BILL COSBY
      Based on a BILL COSBY created by BILL COSBY
      Additional BILL COSBY provided by BILL COSBY
      Original BILL COSBY Written and Arranged by BILL COSBY
      BILL COSBY Would Like to Thank all of the BILL COSBY Out There For Making BILL COSBY BILL COSBY

    • Cliff Huxtable's obsession with penises and grounding his daughters (especially when he catches one of them watching Pulp Fiction).
    • The scenes where the parents meet Denise's boyfriend Eddie are also not sacred, as Eddie starts scatting "Reggae" in outrageous fashions ("And Eddie, are you and Denise going out—" "EH MON." *sagenod*).
  • Just when you thought cjflo was retired for good, she comes back with the 38 minute "The Flesh Pinch of Ball Hair", where all of her greatest Fresh Prince Running Gags deliver an endless assault, and even Bill Cosby and R. Kelly make cameo appearances. The length and pace are not for the faint of heart, but those who stick around are greatly rewarded.





  • Gravity Faaf
    • Dipper getting scared of Grunkle Stan so much that he explodes then inexplicably comes back to life.
    • "Our uncle had transformed his house into a house he called The House."
    • "Alright, ladies and gentlemen, behold: my ass!"
    • Dipper's mosquito bites spelling out "Bieber".
    • "Grunkle Stan says I was being paranoid, but according to this book I'm paranoid."
    • "You think [Norman] might be Pinkie Pie? That would be so awesome!"
    • "I'm gonna be a door and he's gonna be one of your crazy conspiracies!"
    • "Her aim is getting better!"
    • "I am one million dicks!"
    • "You kids could go waste your time on some epic FUUF, or you could spend your day learning how to SKEWWEKS!"
    • "ANUS GAY"
    • "Why yes, of course you can chew on my penis."
    • "Behold, the rock that looks like a rock. It looks like a rock, but it's a rock." "Does it look like a rock?" "No, it looks like a rock." "Is it a face?" "Yes, it's a face."


CommanderGwonam (retired; most links are to reuploads)



  • Mr. Krubby Krabby Avenges Pearl Harbor
    • "Who lives in a pinecone under the sea?"
    Customer: Oh, now about the barnacle rings?
    Barnacle Boy: Barnacle MAN!
    • "Sir, let's just get this out of the way: I HATE SWEDISH PEOPLE!"
    • The news flash of Bikini Bottom legalizing gay marriage.
    • Squidward guessing where Mr Krabs will take him and SpongeBob.
    Squidward: Where are we going? 2Fort?
    (cut to them at 2Fort)
    Mr. Krabs: Nope.
    Squidward: Guantanamo?
    (cut to them tied up and ready for torture)
    Mr. Krabs: Try again.
    Squidward: Ooh, ooh, clam fishing?
    (cut to them on the boat)
    Mr. Krabs: Better than that.
    (cut to them cramped in small clubhouse)
    Squidward: Well, this is stupid.
    • SpongeBob's fishing hook swiping the book Squidward was reading...and then coming back to give him a copy of Mein Kampf.
    • SpongeBob's fishing hook ripping Squidward's dick off!
    • "Yeah, and I have to go home and feed Gary." (cut to Gary being attacked by Puffy Fluffy)
    • Mr. Krabs representing bronies in 2013.
    Mr. Krabs: (holding an alicorn Twilight doll) I...trusted you...and you gave me this!?
    • Mr. Krabs crucifying Jesus.
    • After Mr. Krabs throws out all the sandwiches, the Heavy leaps overboard to get them back. Then, when Mr. Krabs chucks the refrigerator overboard, we hear it hitting the Heavy and him screaming.
    SpongeBob: What'd you give him?
    Mr. Krabs: Coral Blue #2 semi-gloss lipstick.
  • Pranktin goes to a mental hospital
  • Spingleblap wants a gun licence
    • The opening disclaimer...
    "I own everything here. Viacom owns nothing."
    • The Nostalgia Critic shooting himself while watching Mrs. Puff do...something with a balloon.
  • Spingleblap, Cracktrick, and Mr Krustacean go to Darfur
  • SpingeBill, Potrock and Squishward go to Vietnam


  • Jasper comes to dinner
    Steven (as Connie's phone rings): Is that your mom?
    Connie: It's probably Jasper.
    Connie checks her phone; the screen reads JASPER
    Connie: Called it. Hello?
    Jasper: STOP SINGING!!

    Steven: What do you mean Jasper won't let you come over? It's the mid-season-pre-season-prepre-season-mid-finale of Under The Knife!

    Steven: How am I supposed to bring one of you to dinner? You're all so... radioactive!

    Pearl: Well, I have to thank Amethyst for putting out.
    Peridot: Because of you, everyone came!
  • Garnet Teaches Sex-Ed
    Ruby: How am I gonna f**k you?!
    Sapphire: You already did.
    Ruby: WHAT?!
  • Holly Blue Agate Is Homophobic
    Pearl: I cannot believe Amethyst is a fusion!

    Sas: Today, I'm straight. We won't stand out if we play it straight.
    Amethyst: Straight? Like them?
    Sas: Exactly.
    Amethyst: But I've never even seen a straight Amethyst before! What if I say something gay?
    Sas: Just look the part.
    Steven: But Pearl isn't straight at all!
    Pearl: F**k you!

    Yellow Diamond: Why would you want to f**k her? Do you ever see her? Tell me, what's the use of f**king, Blue?
    Yellow Diamond: An Agate has a use, they can go and f**k a Sapphire!
    Yellow Diamond: And we're always thinking of memes!

  • Pearl f*cks Peridot
    Steven: Looks like our final score is.... a tit.

    Peridot: You are beneath me! I will always be an accessory and nothing I've seen here today will ever change that!
    Pearl: Well, have you ever seen a pearl do this?!
    Careless Whisper plays as Pearl stands up and flicks her hair back''
    Peridot: You changed that!

  • Peridot breaks Pearl's heart
    Pearl: No! Peridot didn't have a penis, because if Peridot had a penis, I would have known about it!

Crabcakes McMann
    • The first line: "I'm ready to put your face onto my ass. LOL."
    • "By the time we get all our stuff together, who's gonna know the difference? Who's gonna know the difference?"

Craig has Dysentery

    • " But you know what I like a lot more than knowledge? This new Lamborghini here. But you know what I like a lot more than the new Lamborghini here? My TEDx talk where I talk about this new Lamborghini here."
    • "It wasn't that long ago that I was in a little Lamborghini sleeping on bookshelves in the Hollywood Hills with only 47 billion dollars in my bank account, and 47 Lamborghinis in my Lamborghini account, and only 47 hills in my Hollywood account, and only 47 TEDx talks where I talk about Warren Buffets in my TEDx talks where I talk about Warren Buffet account."
    • "I don't call it money anymore, I call it fuel units. You must have enough fuel units. You must have enough Lamborghinis. You must construct additional pylons."

    • "It's got a full-court bathroom, so if you love to play basketball, or ballsketbask, or bathroomball, or tennis"
    • "I've got 17,000 square-fish"
    • "It's got a cool door..." "Yo daddy, I'll suck your big black dick for 2 dollars..." [closes the door] "There's somebody here waiting, I'll close the door."


Crispy Toast


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