- The dialogue at the end, between Israelis and Palestinians, about which side is more hated by Americans.Palestinian: They think we're terrorists! They hate us here!Israeli: They hate us too! They think we're you!
- The bit when they first enter the electronics store will make anybody who's ever been to one of those places fall off his seat laughing.
- The 10-minute disco break after every goal at the hacky sack tournament with John McEnroe taking off his shirt and twirling it around.
- When the Corrupt Corporate Executive's girlfriend's Gag Boobs deflate, his reaction is priceless.
- When the white supremacist threatens to blow up some puppies "BECAUSE I HATE PUPPIES!!!!!"
- Pretty much every single second of screentime The Phantom gets.
- The Goat. That is all.
- "One pee-pee touch?"
- Zohan using his Stat-O-Vision on The Dragon.computer read-out: [superimposed in Zohan's binoculars] Name: James T. O'Skanlon / Hates: Jews, the Arabs, the Blacks, the Yellows, the French, the Latins, the New York Times, the George Clooney, the Hillary, the Obama, the Whole Foods, the Prius, the dogs in purses, the Oprah, the Ellen, the condoms, and sunsets on the beach. / Likes: the Lethal Weapon 1, the Lethal Weapon 2, the Lethal Weapon 3, what women want. / Occupation: fake Arab for the Walbridge.
Funny / You Don't Mess with the Zohan