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- Early in the Horde game, you get the quest of the Blackmaw Doublecross. It doesn't really matter what you say to sabotage the negotiations... but it's all funny.
- Some of the Stop Poking Me! the NPCs will give you. One of the best is one from the male draenei. "You require medication?" The accent sells it.
- One of the wolf-mounted patrols that wander Durotar: "What's that smell? Ohhh! Bad dog!"
- Pandaren are the funniest in this regard. Pandaren really go the extra mile with the Stop Poking Me!. It takes more pokes than you'd think (inner peace and all that), but when they get angry, they get ANGRY!
- Another has female Pandaren spending a couple minutes (far longer than any other Stop Poking Me! quote) describing all the wondrous sights in Pandaria before saying:Pandaren: "What I am trying to say is... please, just go bother someone else!"
- Another has female Pandaren spending a couple minutes (far longer than any other Stop Poking Me! quote) describing all the wondrous sights in Pandaria before saying:
- Li Li has some pretty good ones..."So I'm like 'What's up?' and you're like "I'm gonna poke you!" and I'm like 'Ok,' and you're like "I'm gonna poke you some more!"
- The Klaxxi also have some amusing ones. At first, they get angry at you and make the expected threats to your safety. Keep doing it, and they start begging you to stop. Some even claim the equivalent of Sand In My Eyes!
- Starting from Mists of Pandaria, some NPCs instead give you an anecdote when clicked on enough. One in particular from Xuen:"Strength is more than how hard you hit; your strikes must have control and purpose. You can also just go for the groin."
- Reshad's Stop Poking Me! quotes go from a long, suffering "Whaaat?" to sounding seconds from a psychotic breakdown, "Whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit What. Is. It. That. You. WANT?!"
- The other Arakkoa Outcasts have three lines, two of which are just croaking, but the third is them telling you that you're making them molt.
- The Highmountain Tauren (who have antlers instead of horns) have a couple that all flow together hilariously.
High elf?! Please! Why would you want to be a HIGH elf when you could look all tragic and brooding?
- Magister Umbric in Battle for Azeroth gets a few lines which allude to the schisms between elf races and the people who play them:
I suppose I could forgive you for not being a fan of elves. After all, half of us dislike the other half rather intensely.
- The various /flirts can be quite hilarious as well.
- Male Draenei's Mood Whiplash really sells theirs: "You know, I had a girlfriend, but I lost her in the crash. That is the bad news. The good news is, I'm available!"
- Female Draenei have: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Good. Bring ample supply of butter and goblin jumper cables."
- There there is one that didn't make it to the final game: "Okay, for mating ritual, we will need four... No, five sheep, one gnome, and Staff of Domination. Put gnome in bag, beat bag with staff, and meet me after gnome is tenderized."
- Male Orcs: "You have six different smiles. One for when you're angry. One for when you tear flesh. One for when you chew flesh. One for when you loot bodies. One for when you skin game. And one for when you want to kill something."
- Female Dwarves: "I'll have you know I can flatten steel with my thighs!"
- Male Dwarves: "I like my beer like I like my women: stout and bitter."
- Female Tauren: "I'm tired of the same old bull."
- The little foot-fidget, when it's made by a seven-foot tauren female with hooves, is pretty funny too.
- Male Pandaren have the best:
- "I will sing for you, the love song, of my people... *rings dinner bell* COME AND GET IT!!!"
- "Sweet thing, imma romance all three of your kingdoms... Meditate on that."
- "Hey gorgeous. Wanna try crane position? Oh no... For you, monkey style."
- "Nice pants. What's their drop rate?"
- Female worgen have a number of them too.
- "You know, worgen women have six nipples."
- "The fur's just something to hold on to."
- "Can you make my leg shake?"
- Female Gnomes have some amusing Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness:
- "At this time, I think you should purchase me an alcoholic beverage and engage in diminutive conversation with me in hopes of establishing a rapport."
- "I don't feel the 1 to 10 scale is fine enough to capture subtle details of compatibility. I'd prefer a 12-dimensional compatibility scale with additional parameters for mechanical aptitude and torque."
- Female Undead:
- "One good thing about being dead: the biological clock seems to have stopped."
- "Us undead girls really know how to have a good time, because after all, what's the worst thing that could happen?"
- "Yes they're real. They're not mine, but they're real."
- Female Blood Elf:
- "Is that a mana wyrm in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
- "Normally, I only ride on epic mounts... But, let's talk."
- "Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again...?"
- "No. No, I won't do that.... but my sister will."
- Male Blood Elf:
- "Your eyes are like the Sunwell... Before the explosion that doomed us all, of course."
- "You know what I love about your eyes, when I look deep enough, I can see my own reflection."
- Female Goblin:
- "Is that your wallet? Or are you just glad to see me? Both I hope!"
- "Does this turn you on?" (jingles bag of gold)
- Male Goblin:
- "Ever rode a rocket before? Mine's huge."
- "Let me buy you a drink. No, wait you buy me a drink. Ah, you know what, just give me the money."
- "Honey, I've got all kinds of toys in my utility belt."
- Female Blood Elf Demon Hunter:
- "I take on the powers of demons I've killed. Did I tell you I've slain a whole army of Succubi?"
- Female Night Elf Demon Hunter
- "I have tattoos in other places, you know." note
- There are a number of non-combat pets with silly and/or hilarious animations. For example, the Plump Turkey, obtained as a reward for completing the Pilgrim's Bounty holiday achievements. When near a cooking fire, the poor brainwashed bird takes a running jump into the fire and cooks itself.
- The Rocket Chicken, which is Exactly What It Says on the Tin, a robot chicken with huge rocket boosters strapped to its back. After warming itself up for a few minutes, the chicken will spontaneously launch itself skyward... and explode in a loud squawk and puff of feathers.
- Summoning a Father Winter's Helper or Winter's Little Helper out-of-season gets you an indignant response and (generally) a request to wait until the Feast of Winter's Veil. It's possible to try the summon many times in a row.note
- The Paladin's "Judgment" spell's animation consists of a holy hammer of light coming out of nowhere... and bonking on the other guy's head. For the first few times you use it, it's worth a few chuckles.
- If you need to use an item while in animal form:That requires opposable thumbs.
- Among the many items with amusing descriptions in the game there's Queen Azshara's Dressing Gown, a garish cloth robe the description of which reads "The rumors of the Highborne's poor fashion sense seem to be true."
- It's funnier if you were a mage during Wrath of the Lich King, as the robe is the same model as the one they got from 25-man Naxxramas and Vault of Archavon.
- The Steamy Romance Novels. Here's the first in the series.
- More than a few quest names are funny moments all by themselves. Just a couple of examples include:
- The Forsaken Blight and You: How Not to Die
- Side Effects May Include Mild Undeath
- Bros Before Hozen
- Some of the /silly emotes are just funny. Examples include...
Tauren: You know how hard it is to get your groove on with the spirit of your Great Grandmother looking over you?
- Female Tauren:
Tauren: I once laughed so hard I milked all over the floor!
Tauren: In my native tongue my name means "Dances with tassels!"
Worgen: So then she says to me "What big teeth you have!"... I mean.... What do you say to that!?
- Male Worgen:
Worgen: Are you into... Furries?
Pandaren: It is said... To fear is human. *Laughs* stupid humans.
- Male Pandaren once again have the funniest lines in this regard.
Pandaren: Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. ... ... He's... He's fed. I messed that up. But we make that stuff up anyway.
Pandaren: Hey! You look like you've lost some weight! ...That's terrible. Have a dumpling.
Pandaren: How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges? ...Meditate on this.
Pandaren: If you reach for the stars and hit the moon, do not be ashamed for you have aspired to greatness. And the moon had it coming.
- Female Pandaren have several hilarious lines as well.
Pandaren: I was talking to Tauren the other day, no Worgen. Which one's a cow and which one's a dog? All these talking animals are stupid!
Pandaren: All these new cultures are so confusing. Yesterday, someone complimented me on my badonk-a-donk. What is that, elvish?
Voidwalker: I... am... void... where prohibited.
- Even demons can get into the action!
Draenei: When we crashed I lost some jewels that had been in my family for generations. If you could get your hands on my family jewels, I would be deeply appreciative.
- A great one comes from Male Draenei.
Female Night Elf Demon Hunter: No mom, this is not just a phase!
- The Demon Hunters have unique jokes that are pretty great.
Male Blood Elf Demon Hunter: I eat demons for breakfast and vengeance for lunch... But I usually skip dinner because vengeance has a lot of calories.
Male Highmountain Tauren: Ha! A buddy of mine convinced this epic-geared adventurer to kick fish into the river! Oh wait... that wasn't you, was it?
- The new races in Battle for Azeroth have some good ones too.
Female Highmountain Tauren: I know Ethel. She's actually a very fast walker. She just thinks it's funny to mess with tourists.note
Female Lightforged Draenei: We haven't crashed the Vindicaar yet... but given our track record, it's only a matter of time.
Male Lightforged Draenei: I thought my tattoo said "Light's Defender" in naaru. I found out it actually says "glowing goat".
Male Void Elf: Alleria is my favorite Windrunner sister. Edgier than Vereesa, but slightly less homicidal than the dead one.
Female Nightborne Elf: You really must attend one of our parties in the Court of Stars. I've never met anyone more in need of a mask.
Male Dark Iron Dwarf:: A night elf laughed at me for living inside a volcano. Well, at least I don't have to worry about my mountain burnin' down, now DO I?! (laughs, then pauses) What, Too Soon?
- In true Blizzard fashion, Dataminers found information for a "Karazhan Restoration". The name gets Denser and Wackier every time it's changed, first into Medivh's Big Birthday Bash, then Karazhan 2: Eclectic Boogaloo and finally Medivh Presents Chessmaster: Illustrious Edition.
- And then they went and made Medivh's Big Birthday Bash... in Hearthstone.
- Until Legion finally introduced "Return to Karazhan".
- If a druid player has bad lag, their visual transformations will be delayed. Only the visuals, mind you, so it's entirely possible to change into Flight Form and swim through the air for a few seconds before the game catches up. Similar fun can be had with any race who manages to use a flying mount and gets the relevant buff, but the graphical changes are lagging behind.
- Some of the flavor text on archaeological projects can be quite entertaining, such as an Ogre pictogram depicting "a particularly distressing culinary experience."
- The Darkmoon Faire has some humor mixed in with the general circus atmosphere and darker undertones.
- The Darkmoon Top Hat is a consumable item that temporarily replaces your head slot's appearance. It's a purple top hat open at the top so it can shoot off fireworks.
- The first game encountered on entering is Whack-A-Gnoll - spring-loaded gnolls pop out of barrels and are whacked with a two-handed hammer. Hogger is worth three points.
- The second game is a cannon where you become the cannonball and have to land in a floating target on the other side of the Faire.
- The jewelcrafting quest has players crafting shiny "gemstones" for the performers to wear... by cutting glass from the refuse scattered around.
- The enchanting quest involves gathering a special dust by disenchanting weapons adventurers have thrown away after finding them in a dungeon and deciding that their current weapon was better.
- An NPC in the woods sells specialty meats from the homelands of each race. Her comments, along with the names and descriptions of the meat, make it clear you don't want to eat this.
- The first battle pet master wears a Gilnean suit and top hat and is named Jeremy Feasel. The second trainer wears a suit and the Darkmoon Top Hat, rides a horse, and is named Christoph Vonfeasel. He's also modeled after The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.
- The Darkmoon Rabbit is an obvious shout-out to Monty Python and the Holy Grail and is dangerous enough that it takes an entire raid to kill. Its only attack is leaping on people and gnawing through their neck.
- The Blight Boar death metal concert (the band is all undead, of course) is interrupted by a Death Metal Knight attacking to prove only he can truly rock out. Getting the top score for participating gets a bonus buff where you're assigned a role. For the drummer, you have two drums on your shoulders being played by disembodied hands.
- Gray quality weapons sometimes have amusing names, such as the paired shield and hammer The Movable Object and The Stoppable Force; the Mining Sword which is chipped and battered from being used wrong; and the Kvaldir Skinning Knife which, being used by giants, is a claymore.
- Mounts in the player's journal have flavor text which varies from the serious to the... not so serious. Some examples:
Leave it to the blood elves to pick the red one.
- Crimson Primal Direhorn:
Lost time is never found again. Oh, never mind I found it. -Chronormu
- Bronze Drake:
- Winged Steed of the Ebon Blade:
- The journal also provides information on where mounts are obtained. In the beta, the core hound mount simply read "Drop: Take a Guess", before it was made a reward for completing the Level 100 version of Molten Core.
- Similarly, battle pets have descriptions. Boss drops, in particular, tend to have somewhat silly ones:
You have the odd feeling that it wants to kill you.
- Void Shardling
Five things he can never do without: surging, surging, surging, surging, surging.
A small fragment of Lord Marrowgar. It will NOT stop assaulting your shins.
- A common thread for many pets is to note the unfortunate implications of capturing the pets.
- Love is in the Air is the Valentine's Day analogue and it's being just as heavily commercialized in-game as in real life, which means one thing: Lots of goblins. The holiday's mascot is a goblin dressed as Cupid.
- One of the merchants asks you to supply free samples to people around town. The perfume and cologne spritzers take the form of enormous jets of fluid used to hose down the target.
- The detective who's looking into the shady practices of the company in charge of the holiday has special dialogue when receiving a sample, noting how unhealthy it all is, even if the bon-bons do taste rather good.
- Charm bracelets are given to each of the faction leaders as gifts; they're made by extracting bits of slain enemies. While most leaders offer a mild thanks, Saurfang demands to know what sort of orc you think he is and declares the whole thing a disgrace... but he still takes the bracelet.
- Romantic boat trips can be taken around Stormwind's canals. The same can be done in Undercity, but given they're floating on unnaturally green sewage surrounded by undead, the ambiance isn't quite the same.
- The holiday allows the use of unique transmog items, meaning this is the only time of year you can defeat a raid boss while wearing a slinky black dress and holding a rose in your mouth... as a male orc.
- One of the merchants asks you to supply free samples to people around town. The perfume and cologne spritzers take the form of enormous jets of fluid used to hose down the target.
- The Kirin Tor Pub Crawl: A bunch of mages using portals to hit as many bars in one trip as possible.
- The Spring Balloon Festival is one of the game's new micro holidays, which takes place over a few days in mid-May. It involves taking a balloon tour in parts of the Broken Isles, Uldum in Kalimdor, Crystalsong Forest in Northrend, the Valley of the Four Winds in Pandaria, and Nagrand.
- Azsuna's balloon ride is given by a goblin who tries to charge an exorbitant rate while in the air. His plot to extort you is foiled by his oaf misunderstanding directions and putting fireworks on a grill.
- Highmountain's balloon ride is provided by Hemet Nesingwary, moping about how not even shooting critters from the air is satisfying him anymore.
- Stormheim's balloon guide is a newbie and isn't particularly good at the whole tour guide thing.
- Suramar's, however, is a consummate professional and offers a quiz on Nightborne lore, such as asking what the traditional Nightborne greeting is. The answer is "An illusion! What are you hiding?"
- In Uldum, the balloon ride is given by Schnottz the goblin from the questline. He is overly strict and demands utter silence. The balloon riders get the option that Schnottz has to go.
- Crystalsong Forest's balloon is piloted by Chen Stormstout, who warns he can't talk because he has to avoid hitting Dalaran.
- The balloon guide in the Valley of the Four Winds actually hates his job. He wanted to be a shaman, "But nooo, ballooning is in the blood!" He then screams out "ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW, DAD!" Following that tirade, he asks if anyone else in the balloon has a secret they'd like to share.
- In Draenor's Nagrand, the balloonist is a goblin named Dorthigail, who's tricked out her balloon with a chronal accelerator which ends up taking everyone to Outland Nagrand, which freaks her out as she realizes that they aren't quite in Nagrand anymore and that there's no time like home.
- Noblegarden has the player gathering painted eggs for chocolate, but sometimes gathering an egg will transform them into pastel-colored rabbits.
- Said pastel-colored rabbits can be found as a pet. If two players bring their rabbits into close proximity, they get busy making little... painted eggs. Which hatch into baby rabbits.
- During Children's Week, you get to shepard around some orphans. Along the way, they make some random commentary, some of which is delightfully adorable and hilarious:
- Dorna, the Draenei:"Is the Twisting Nether shaped like a pretzel? And just what is a Nether? The orphan matron says I shouldn't ask people about their nethers..."
"If a horse gets horseshoes, will I get draenei shoes?"
"If the Burning Legion is such a problem why not just throw water on them? Then they'll just be a legion."
"If I hold my breath, what color would I turn?"
- Shalindria, the Blood Elf"I bet ice cream would taste better if it were socketed!"
"If the demons fell, where did they fall from?"
"Would a tauren paladin be a holy cow?"
"Boys have cooties and girls have beauty!"
- The Orc"What does 'zug zug' mean?"
"When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?"
"Would a fly without wings be called a walk?"
"I have a rock in my nose."
- The HumanIf you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
- Azala the ZandalariI wanna keep a vulpera as a pet. Dey're so fluffy!
Why do de Darkspear slouch so much?
Hmph. I'm gonna be a loa someday.
- Azala has the player take her to the shrines of various loa, claiming it's so she can choose which one to follow. Turns out she already worshipped Jani, loa of thieves and orphans, and was using the trip to steal from the various shrines. As she runs off with Jani, Azala thanks the "mook" for helping out.
- Liam the Kul TiranIf we're the Kul Tirans, are there Lame Tirans too?
Why are void elves purple? Did they hold their breath for too long?
How can the sea have a daughter anyway?
- Dorna, the Draenei:
- The Midsummer Fire Festival has a one-time quest where you deliver some special incense to a tiny fire elemental. Said elemental grows massively at declares he will bring devastation on the land in the name of Ragnaros... until he shrinks back to normal. It was just a joke, apparently.
- The entirety of Brewfest is a hoot. All of the booze, food, and purchasable items are obvious plays on the overdone Oktoberfest promotions, up to and including lederhosen.
- Belbi's Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles, an Alliance head item which when equipped causes players and most humanoid NPCs to appear as male gnomes. The Horde equivalent, Blix's Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles, is even more hilarious since it causes them to appear as female orcs, basically outing Blix (a male goblin) as an Amazon Chaser, or at least having a type.
- Perhaps due to a bug, the goggles affect your garrison's command table!
- The background music at the festivals has stereotypical polka with goblins or dwarves drunkenly bantering and laughing.Random Goblin: I... I can't feel my legs! [laughs]
- The Dark Iron Dwarves launch raids on the festivals not to steal or kill... but to drink all the booze. They're fought off by hammering back an ale and chucking the empty glass at their head. And that's not counting the Super Brews.
- The boss of these dwarves has an ability where he jams the player's head into a keg.
- Two of the achievements involve getting absolutely plastered and doing something stupid - nearly falling to your death and dancing in a capital city while wearing the entire Brewfest outfit.
- Due to an oversight, Brewfest 2016 wasn't updated to reflect the changes to Azeroth in Legion, so the Horde version still has Vol'jin partaking in the event when he's canonically dead by that point.
- Hallow's End has the Headless Horseman who's such a ham it's hard to see him as a real threat. This isn't helped by one of his attacks being jamming a jack-o-lantern on your head and his "head" periodically falling off the body.Horseman's "Head": [to his confused body] Get over here, you idiot!
Human Commoner: For the Horde!
- Witches in Undercity and Stormwind recruit players to egg the other city.
- Getting a trick while trick or treating transforms the player into any number of tiny critters, including a fire-breathing mini-Diablo.
- On Alliance:
Human Commoner: You know... why do we celebrate this holiday?
- One of the new masks introduced in 2011 is a murloc. Each race has two masks, one male and one female, but murlocs have no apparent gender so the male mask and female mask look the same, but are respectively green and orange.
- The female ogre mask has long eyelashes and lipstick, because nobody has ever seen a female ogre and Blizzard has no idea what they would look like (this is a bit of an in-joke; ogres were considered to be the new Horde race for Cataclysm, but Blizzard hit a brick wall designing the females and gave up).
- Pilgrim's Bounty allows players to acquire a gun that shoots other players, transforming them into turkeys.
- If you're a hunter:
- Step 1 - Get someone to shoot you with a Turkey Shooter.
- Step 2 - Find an empty plate on one of the feast tables.
- Step 3 - Feign Death.
- Upon doing all of the following, you will become a roasted turkey sitting on a plate.
- If you're a hunter:
- The Feast of Winter Veil is just as heavily commercialized as the Valentine's event, including an orc and dwarf Greatfather Winter giving out presents.
- A daily quest involves rescuing Metzen from the fierce Greench, who has also stolen a shipment of presents. When freed, Metzen cries a single reindeer tear.
Classic Old World
- The conversation with Azuregos in the epic Scepter of Ahn'Qiraj questline. It's just a "tiny minnow".
- Before learning about the "tiny minnow", the player character naturally assumes that since Azuregos is a draconic spirit, he would be guarding his piece of the Scepter personally. His response when being asked if this is the case? "What? No. That would be asinine."
- Azuregos's saga of silliness continues post-Shattering, where he falls in love with a Spirit Healer of all things.
- A now defunct quest for the Alliance has you gather a few supplies to help a gnome disguise his Spybot. The supplies are three silk cloth and... two very specific apples that are apparently "perfect sized" for the disguise for some reason. It becomes apparent in the next part of the quest chain that the disguise makes Spybot looks like a woman. If you haven't figured it out yet, the apples were used for fake breasts.
- The Defias Messenger in Westfall's aggro.Here's a singing telegram for [you]! Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll kill any [race] I see, including you!
- Way way way way waaaaaaay back in Classic, someone took out a pet with the "Living Bomb" debuff and didn't know that it paused the timer on it. So imagine everyone's shock when all of a sudden, every single person in the auction house had a mysterious "Click to resurrect" message wondering what on earth happened. It's hard to say where this first happened; but this happened to Horde and Alliance at around the same time.
- One quest in the Redridge Mountains once rewarded you with a Dwarven Fishing Pole. It was a gun, and its description read "Dwarves aren't known for their subtlety".
- On a similar note, another quest awarded a Goblin Fishing Pole.
- In Zul'Farrak, after defeating the trolls and saving Sergeant Bly and his men, he will refuse to even thank you for what you did, and you can call him out on it. He then will accuse you of threatening him (which is all the funnier considering that your fellow party members can't see your exchange with him), and then try to kill you, which will likely end in his and his men's deaths.
- In the Eastern Plaguelands, it's possible to see a Plague Dog piddle on a tree.
- The quest "Blackhand's Command" that was originally required for entrance into Blackwing Lair before 6.0.2, where the letter you got from the NPC you just killed shows how little Rend expected him to carry out his mission.Imbecile,
I hold very little faith in your ability to prevent outsiders from accessing the master's lair. In the very likely event of your death, this orb has its own failsafe built in to prevent outsiders from teleporting directly into Blackwing.
Only those with the Mark of Drakkisath branded upon their hand may make use of this orb. Thankfully, Drakkisath is not nearly as incompetent as you, Quartermaster. He guards the brand himself!
-Warchief Rend Blackhand
P.S. Destroy this letter, idiot.
- The fact that the quartermaster still had the letter despite it telling him to destroy it makes his stupidity apparent. The game itself also comments that he was pretty stupid at the beginning of the quest description.
- The "DESTROY BROODQUEEN" quest introduction.
- Most of the player's conversations with Tabetha, a witch hermit in the middle of Dustwallow Marsh. Her best lines show up during the Warlock's class quest line.Tabetha: *When asked about a Zul'Farak priestess* Yes, I do have a bone to pick with her. A few bones. All her bones!
Tabetha: *When presented with a demonic orb* Oh, that's a nice one! And no, I don't mean nice like cool juice on a hot day. In fact, it's very not nice now that I think about it. You'll need all of your wits about you if you want to empty it. The orb, not the juice. Focus! You have to focus if you're going to survive this, [Player]!
- "The Fall of Kel'thuzad" cements the Player Character's status as a murder hobo.The phylactery is all that remains of the master of Naxxramas. Your better judgment dictates that you destroy the phylactery, preventing the lich from ever reforming. Thankfully, you seldom listen to that internal voice of reason. Someone at Light's Hope will pay you hugely for this artifact. Who cares if Kel'Thuzad regenerates to full power?
- Father Inigo Montoy's reaction is also priceless. He's actually salivating at the sight of the phylactery. Of course, it's Harsher in Hindsight knowing that in Wrath he turns traitor to the Scourge and uses the phylactery you so kindly gave him to regenerate Kel'thuzad to full power.
The Burning Crusade
- In "Delivery to Tranquillien", the player is tasked with delivering a letter from the Regent Lord, a letter that the people of Tranquillien are expecting with great impatience.Arcanist Vandril: Finally! We've waited for a response from the regent lord for weeks! Let me see here...<Vandril begins to read the letter.>Arcanist Vandril: What's this? A dark presence? He senses a dark presence in the Ghostlands?! No kidding; I could have told him that! This is what we've been waiting for?
- Kael'thas was originally a raidboss in Tempest Keep. Later he was revived as a 5 man boss. His monologue included "... Tempest Keep was merely a setback". From then on, "merely a setback" was a new meme in WoW circles.
"Forest merely setback!"
- Then we got the Blood Princes, 3 blood elves turned vampires who you could kill during leveling. When you first engage them, one says "Naxxanar was merely a setback".
- Hogger, of all... people uses this line in Cataclysm. Glorious.
- In Legion, the achievement for getting a full transmog set from Serpentshrine Cavern and The Eye is titled "Merely a Set".
- "What's for dinner, Cookie?"
- "By the foul teat of Kil'jaeden's rotted torso, the entire backside is blown out!"
- In the blood elf starting zone, there's a quest where an apprentice mage asks you to find a spellbook in a river and tell his mentor you dropped it in a puddle so he won't take the heat. As righteous as you are, you tell the mentor the truth. He then asks you to discipline his two apprentices using a rod that polymorphs them into boars.
- And even more fun is that based on their reactions, this is nothing new for them.
- A similar quest happens in the post-Cataclysm night elf starting zone: a satyr has you gather items from the local wildlife. When the Council of the Forest hears about what you did you're sent to gather fel cones (pinecones containing fel magic) and give them to him. He eats them and gets polymorphed into a frog.
- Millhouse Manastorm. Possibly the best gnome ever, even after you discover he's part of the Twilight's Hammer."Hahaha, alriiight! Who ordered up an extra large can of whoop-ass?"
Delivers a strike so diabolical, it is unable to be described accurately in text. Affected targets will similarily be unlikely to have understood the full effect of this spell as its blinding brilliance washes over them like [a] tidal wave of devastation.
- When you fight him in the Stonecore he escapes from death three times and will let out a random line, one of which is "Prison taught me one very important lesson, well, two if you count how to hold your soap, but yes! SURVIVAL!" The last time he escapes he begins to cast "Impending Doooooom!", the spell description for which reads:
Manastorm's Duplicator: Toy. Adds another Manastorm to the world, as if it needed it.
- He never finishes casting it, since every time it reaches halfway he trips. Once you get close enough, he's interrupted as he and his allies are knocked away by the giant gyreworm that acts as the actual first boss.
- He makes a reappearance for Brawlpub as a level 8 opponent. Naturally, Deepholm was merely a setback.
- He appears on Draenor and can become a follower, having (apparently) made a HeelFace Turn and simply wants the player to get him a Miniature Iron Star to provide clean water for Azeroth's orphans. When giving you his quest, he insists that he hasn't said "DOOOOOOM!" in months. When you complete the quest, in addition to gaining him as a follower, you also get a toy that transforms you into him for ten minutes, complete with vocal mannerisms and lines delivered in combat. Also, some of the lines he spouts when he's walking around your garrison make it apparent he hasn't fully turned good....
"I will obliterate and disintegrate and exterminate and... did I say obliterate?"
- In Legion, mages get him as a champion (with Bodyguard ability), complete with his previous Laughably Evil Ax-Crazy tendencies. As far as mission-solving, his unlocked ability at Uncommon quality is called "Verbose Grandstanding"note .
- Archimonde has a spell named "Finger of Death". While this isn't funny by itself, the spell description reads:Strikes an enemy with the finger of death, inflicting 36000 shadow damage upon them, their children, and their children's children.
- One Wowhead poster quips "Your character is presumably single and childless (unless you're on an RP realm). So by dealing damage to your (supposedly non-existent) children...you do NOT want to know where that Finger of Death goes..."
- For Alliance, one of the quests at Toshley's Station requires you to sign a waiver before submitting yourself to using a device to launch yourself into the air with minimal harm, which reads:RELEASE DISCHARGE OF LIABILITY.
THE TEST PILOT IS FULLY AWARE AND ACKNOWLEDGES THERE IS A RISK OF INJURY, DISMEMBERMENT, OR DEATH IN THE FORM OF: PULVERIZATION, ELECTROCUTION, BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO VITAL ORGANS, CONSUMPTION BY INDIGENOUS FAUNA, OR TIME/SPACE PARADOXYSM DURING USE OF THE ZEPHYRIUM CAPACITORIUM (THE "DEVICE"). TEST PILOT HEREBY ELECTS TO VOLUNTARILY ENTER INTO THE DEVICE AND ASSUME ALL THE ABOVE RISKS.
TEST PILOT AGREES TO WAIVE, RELEASE AND DISCHARGE ANY AND ALL CLAIMS FOR INJURY OR DAMAGE AGAINST TALLY ZAPNABBER AND HIS FAMILY, AND IN THE EVENT OF <HIS/HER> DEATH, AGREES TO DONATE <HIS/HER> REMAINS TO THE ZAPNABBER ESTATE FOR STUDY.
- Amusingly, you can't read the waiver in-game until after you've signed it. Make of that what you will.
- In Warlords of Draenor, one of the items you can get from the Gnomish Gearworks is apparently the finished version of this. The flavor text for the item says it includes "Rocket, parachute and waiver."
- The Alliance Nagrand quest "Do My Eyes Deceive Me" has the player collecting plans from Boulderfist ogres. When you give the plans to the quest giver, she notes their penmanship is so horrible she's not entirely sure what their plan is.note BY THE LIGHT! Their penmanship is atrocious. From what I can gather, they're either planning to "eat the blue skins and take their village" or bake a blueberry pie. It really could go either way. We must get to the bottom of this!
- The follow up quest's description takes the joke further:The battle plans were written up by an ogre lieutenant. His name is either Dump or Lump.
<Bintook turns the parchment sideways and cocks her head.>
It could also be Billy.
Anyhow, I think you should go back out there and have a word with Billy or Lump or Dumpy or whatever! Try to approach him diplomatically. If that doesn't work, try using some muscle.
- The follow up quest's description takes the joke further:
- The Big Bad Wolf version of the Opera House encounter in Karazhan. The main tank goes up to the "granny" and goes through the Little Red Riding Hood-based dialogue tree. The first two entries are standard for the fairy tale, but when you get to the third....
- The part of The Arcatraz where the second and third bosses are bickering with each other:Wrath-Scryer Soccothrates: Did you call on me?
Dalliah the Doomsayer: Why would I call on you?
Wrath-Scryer Soccothrates: To do your heavy lifting, most likely.
Dalliah the Doomsayer: When I need someone to prance around like an overstuffed peacock, I'll call on you.
Wrath-Scryer Soccothrates: Then I'll commit myself to ignoring you.
Dalliah the Doomsayer: What would you know about commitment, sheet-sah?
Wrath-Scryer Soccothrates: You're the one who should be— Wait, we have company...
Wrath-Scryer Soccothrates: Knew this was... the only way out...
- If you engage Dalliah first Soccothrates will ask if he can watch, then congratulate you for killing her. Starting with Soccothrates first has her mocking him and mentioning she'd wanted to kill him for years.
- When you kill Soccothrates, he delivers this gem:
- In one of the inns in Netherstorm, there is a meeting between the Scryer and Aldor representatives, among others talking about how the Aldor could trust the Scryers. And there's a particular exchange...
- Nexus-Prince Haramad, the leader of The Consortium, almost never appears in person, preferring to use a projection to communicate. Talk to his projection and you'll find out the reason why. Haramad: If you've been sent to kill me, please take a number and wait your turn.
Wrath of the Lich King
- Drakuru's questline in Grizzly Hills, specifically the final quest where he asks you to summon him to Drak'Tharon Keep. The quest itself isn't really that funny, but the reaction of everyone in the dungeon group when the Lich King steps out of the portal is simply priceless. Too bad everything from there's a bit of an anti-climax.
- The books in the Death Knight starting zone. Subjects include, Scourge table manners, a nutritional handbook for zombies, a Scourge-written romance novel, four journals written by a new Death Knight, retelling his perspective of both Scholomance and Stratholme, lampshading how idiotic and crazy the bosses of both areas are, and also that he was being hit on by a Nerubian, and finally a book listing new Death Knights, including Harmony, who was "struck down because her name was against Scourge decency."
- The Death Knights of Acherus updates itself the farther into the starting zone you get, with the bit about Harmony getting the addendum "The ashes of Harmony are to be disposed of in a human outhouse, the Lich King takes his names very seriously."
- Mysteries of the Infinite, along with its sequel. In the first, your future self appears to help you, and then it turns out that you are in a time loop, and must aid your past self (aka you from the first part). Both your future and past selves are quite snarky and hang quite a few lampshades.Future You: "Look at you fight. No wonder I turned to drinking."Past You: "This equipment looks cool and all, but couldn't we have done a little better? Are you even raiding?"Past You: "I just want you to know that if we get through this alive, I'm making sure we turn out better than you. No offense."
- It's even more hilarious if you do this as a Demon Hunter - firstly, your "Future You" is level 80. You can be anywhere from 100 to 110. How exactly did you delevel in the future? Secondly, "Past You" is level 75, meaning you were somehow even weaker not five minutes ago. Thirdly, your Past and Future selves don't handle artifact weapon appearances well - they'll be using the "basic" look (albeit a different color), regardless of whatever you're using. Meaning that your weapon got weaker too.
- After a couple of quests in Storm Peaks, you see three giants trying to cool down a scalding anvil. How do they do it? By blowing on it really hard.
- The Winterfin murlocs in the Borean Tundra, who all have their names in gibberish to reference their incomprehensible language. They also have their own version of Demoralizing Shout, amusingly named Demoralizing Mmmrrrggglll.
- One of the quest givers in the murloc area is a night elf... scientist of some sort... doing research on murloc society. He is wearing a very crummy murloc costume (the same one given to players at BlizzCon 2007), complete with visible seams, googly eyes and a big, blatant zipper on the back. It's hard to say what's funnier, the costume itself, or the fact that the murlocs he's studying (save one) don't realize it's a costume (then again, murlocs don't seem to be that smart).
- A lot of things you can interact with on the upper floor of Acherus tend to be silly. For example, a book containing information and whereabouts of certain Death Knights that changes as you progress through the quest line. It contains, among other anomalies:
- A Death Knight who was turned into the ghoul minion of another Death Knight and retained his excellent cooking abilities.
- The writer of the book stating that you need more cowbell.
- One Alliance quest chain in Grizzly Hills starts with the player eating some amberseeds out of a bucket. When they want more, the NPC they turn to tells them how vital the seeds were and that he needs them back before you digest them. Take a wild guess how you get them out of your system. Here's a hint; it's not the same way they entered.
- Even better if you stick around after you're done. The NPC you give the seeds to after you've finished your... business then turns to another NPC and hands him the seeds telling him to do the usual with them. The response?"I know, I know, back in the bucket."
- Even better if you stick around after you're done. The NPC you give the seeds to after you've finished your... business then turns to another NPC and hands him the seeds telling him to do the usual with them. The response?
- Overlapping with Video Game Cruelty Potential, Death Knights have the spell Corpse Explosion (originally an offensive ability in the Unholy tree, which was removed and brought back later in various forms). As the name implies, it causes dead mobs (excluding mechanicals and elementals, due to them not having flesh) and players to explode leaving behind chunks of flesh or a ribcage. The original version could also be cast on the user's active ghoul to turn it into an Action Bomb.
- As a druid, one of the funniest things ever is the Gunship Battle in ICC. Why? Rocket-butt bears. (Sadly removed later; the backpack now appears on the shoulders.)
- One of the Death Knight starting zone quests has you collect skulls of Scarlet Crusaders and New Avalon citizens for Noth the Plaguebringer. When he asks you if you notice anything missing from the pumpkin patch he's standing in front of he snidely tells you "Of course you don't, because you're a moron! Your brain was probably the first thing to die." Made funnier by this being during a particularly dark quest chain.
- Another gem comes from Gothik the Harvester at Death's Rise who declares "I have come from the frozen heart of Naxxramas to feast on souls and deliver a vicious threshing upon our sworn enemies - and I'm all out of souls".
- For player-induced DK silliness, the Acherus Deathcharger sub-chain first requires you to steal a Scarlet Crusade horse. You can either steal an adult horse or you can steal a foal, which becomes epically hilarious if you're playing as a larger race like an orc or tauren.
- The XT-002 Deconstructor got a few laughs the first time it was faced by players, mostly due to the incongruity of a small child's high-pitched voice emanating from an absolutely ENORMOUS killer robot (in fact the VA is Russi Taylor, who uses almost the same voice for Martin Prince of The Simpsons). According to comments on Wowhead, several raids actually died laughing when they faced the boss for the first time.
You are paralyzed. Watch your step! You hear the sharp clang of metal and cries of agony from the arena beyond, where your companions are fighting a pitched battle. What do you suppose they would say if they could see you now?
- Later in Ulduar, we get the XT-002's creator, Mimiron, who sports some of the best quotes in the game. What else would you expect from a demigod in the form of a giant clockwork gnome?
- During the fight against Thorim, the members of the raid going through the gauntlet to reach him on his balcony can become immobilized twice by traps with the following spell descriptions:
You are paralyzed. Watch your step! Thorim looms at the end of the corridor, almost close enough to touch. Assuming you weren't paralyzed, of course. But you are. What a shame.
- Doing some of the quests in Grizzly Hills as a worgen can be unintentionally entertaining. Worgen are werewolves. Before Cataclysm, they were not a playable race, and one questline has you fighting against the mindless cursed ones. Now that worgen can be players...NPC: Were you bitten? Answer me! Were you bloody bitten?!
Worgen PC: Woof?
- Svala Sorrowgrave, upon being defeated, sounds like she's throwing up.
- Professor Putricide.
- Mimiron's voice sounds very much like Daffy Duck's. "Now WHY would you go do something like that?! Didn't you see the sign that says 'DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON'?! How are we going to finish testing with the self-destruct mechanism active?!
- The now retired "Funky Fungi" quest in the Ahn'Kahet: The Old Kingdom dungeon has the player stumble on fungus monsters with especially rank fungus patches. They decide to collect and bring to the dungeon's quest-givers, per usual quest logic of "if it's strange, it must be useful". The quest giver reacts with disgust and then explains the monsters have no traditional means of excreting waste. After advising you to wash your hands, it tells you to keep those ideas to yourself in the future.
- The daily cooking quests in Dalaran have a few chuckles. The troll chef Awilo is annoyed he can't serve his gnome special and several recipients of food double-check it's gnome-free. There's also a dwarf who fancies himself a connoisseur and demands a platter of wine and cheese; you collect some half-empty wine glasses, a smelly cheese, and serve it on an old shield. He doesn't notice.
- In the Borean Tundra, there's a well-hidden underwater cave near the Riplash Ruins. In the cave is a giant pearl sitting on a pedestal with a shaft of light shining down on it, which looks like it could sell for a modest amount of gold...then it turns out the pearl can't be interacted with, and the real treasure is the murloc egg sitting in a pile right behind it, which gives you Terky.
- In Icecrown Citadel, the San'layn mobs in the Crimson Hall can polymorph players into spiders. The group of them right before Lana'thel can be seen having a conversation and will frequently use this ability on each other.
- In Sholazar Basin, a gnome NPC named Zootfizzle has several funny quotes all having to do with his dislike of cogs.His in-game gossip text: "This outpost is a cog-free zone. Persons employing cogs in the construction of mechanical devices will be subject to unrelenting mockery."
Dorian Drakestalker says: It's your lucky day, Zootfizzle. <Player> has brought more hatchlings for you.Zootfizzle says: I'm not here to be the keeper of your hatchlings, Dorian. I'm doing research of my own, as well.Dorian Drakestalker says: Well, you can always go back to the camp and help Weslex with all his cogs...Zootfizzle says: No, not the cogs! Anything but the cogs!
- And this bit of dialogue:
- Patch 4.0.3a changed a good chunk of the quests for the old world, and some of the new content is glorious.
- "The Day That Deathwing Came".
- "Welcome to the Machine".Kingslayer Orkus: Can you smell what the Lok'tar is cookin'?!
- In the same area, Muckgill's Flipper or Something.
- Also in that area is Deep Mine Rescue. This is your commander's response upon saving Dumass:"Ever heard the saying survival of the fittest? What you're doing conflicts with natural law."
- Similarly you have Get Me Outta Here. The reaction from the local commander is pretty much the same. (For the details, check further down.)
- A post-Cataclysm quest chain in the Thousand Needles area involves running around and freeing a bunch of captured baby wyverns, called pridelings. For a while after freeing them, they'll follow you around. The quest chain eventually has you taking on the Jerkass responsible for ordering the pridelings trapped. When you finally find him, and work him down to about 10% health the pridelings you freed earlier swarm him, pick him up, and throw his ass off a cliff. Even the quest giver thinks that's a hoot.
- There is a discovered quest in the zone truly called "A Case of Crabs". You find a case of crab meat and take it back to a stranded NPC, the item itself has the flavor text of "An unexpected find" and the NPC thanks you for your thoughtful present and that if anyone questions your character they will tell them that in her moment of need, you gave her a case of crabs. Your reward for this selfless endeavor is a "finely toothed comb".
- And after that, she offers three more quests: A Girl's Best Friend (she has lost the items her previous "suitors" have given her and you must go find them), A Taste for Tail (collecting the tails of lobster-like monsters for food) and, finally, Ophidophobia (she tells you kill sea serpents because she can't stand snakes). While the last one would not be so bad on its own, by the time you can get it your mind is probably so deep in the gutter that you just can't look at it quite right. A Girl's Best Friend also gets bonus points because of the quest text saying that she's "no stranger to love".
- One of the Earthen Ring shaman tries to help you get around the area faster and has you coerce a sea turtle to let you mount it. Of course, since it's a turtle it moves incredibly slow, and while it does have a button to make it move faster the increase in speed barely makes a difference. Within about 8 seconds of riding it, the turtle gets eaten by a shark, knocking you off.
- In the Abyssal Depths section, you can encounter a dwarf NPC Humphrey Digsong. You find him clinging to a clam for dear life because apparently he and his brother are incapable of anything more than floating at the top of a body of water. While he's an Alliance quest giver, both Alliance and Horde can have the following conversation with him:Humphrey: Ah! Umm... hello there. I was just inspecting this shell here. Carry on! Nothing to see here!
You: Why are you upside down?
Humphrey: I seem to be having a... floating problem.
You: Why is that?
Humphrey: I couldn't tell ya. Maybe I've got a low bone density, or a larger-than-average lung capacity. Maybe it's all that cheese I had for lunch. Either way, this shell is the only thing that's keeping me from rocketing to the surface.
Humphrey: Aye, and it runs in the family. The Digsongs have always had buoyancy issues, I'm afraid.
You: How did you get all the way down here, then?
Humphrey: Hand over hand, lad/lass... hand over aching hand. I can't tell ya how many gallons of seawater went right up my nose. You shoulda seen me fight off that pyreshell crab using my feet and my teeth, though! 'Twas a thing of glory, 'twas.
You: Sounds impressive.
Humphrey: I remember when I was just a wee little lad... the other boys would swim down to the bottom of Loch Modan and pick up sand dollars and seashells. Oskar and I were stuck on the lake's surface, kicking our legs uselessly into the air, but we couldn't join them.
You: That's too bad. Anyhow...
Humphrey: I can't even remember how many times I've spotted a beautiful mining vein at the bottom of a lake or river, glimmering mockingly at me. I'm forced to float orelessly by, mining pick in hand, only to watch some blasted orc or blood elf swim down to the bottom and take it away from me.
You: I really need to get going now.
Humphrey: Ya have no idea what it's like to be stuck down here in Vashj'ir like this! Do ya know how many fish have confused me for a piece of seaweed, nibbling on my toes and hiding between pieces of my armor? That tickling alone is enough to drive a dwarf mad!
Humphrey: I can tell ya don't want to hear my grumbling. That's fine. Just don't forget how lucky you are, with your "sea legs" and your "ability to swim in a direction other than up".
- The Alliance quests reveal that Humphrey's brother, Oskar, lost his grip and was eaten by a giant eel before he could hit the surface. One item that can drop while in the area is an eel's egg that can be rigged by Humphrey to explode and take revenge upon that eel in a quest titled "The Brothers Digsong 2: Eel-Egg-Trick Boogaloo". When you kill the eel, Oskar is revealed to still be alive, but before you can do anything he goes straight up to the surface.
- Lieutenant "Foxy" Topper is a worgen quest-giver who's fond of the Azerothian equivalent of Cockney Rhyming Slang.You ask me, I think we let the soup and gravy take care of this ready and write. It's bird lime to kick and prance ourselves out of here before we're all brown bread. Catch my meaning, love?
- In the goblin starter area there's a quest where you free goblins captured by pirates by... attaching rockets to the cages to make them fly to town. Some of them when you attach the rockets yell "The pirates have the keys!". Sure enough after killing a pirate you may loot a key... as vendor trash. The flavor text even says "We don't need no stinkin' keys!"
- Even better, some of the goblins in the cages point out that the cages have no floor!
- And at the end of the Lost Isles, if you wait on the dock long enough, eventually the goblins you launched will fall back onto the boat...frozen in blocks of ice from having flown into low orbit.
- The very first quest you get for a goblin character involves taking a "surprise" from your assistant to the foreman in appreciation for his hard work. He gleefully opens the package as soon as you give it to him and it turns out to be a bomb (thankfully, it only hurts him). Pretty much tells you everything you need to know about goblins, right there.
- This joke from the male goblin player, which fits their Rogues perfectly:
"I'm a free spirit. I don't like to be tied down. Oh you mean literally? Nah, totally into that!"
- From the opposite side, we have the female goblin joke.
- The Uldum quest "Gnomebliteration" will probably end up being this for anyone who isn't big on the race. The chain starts with this quest. Guaranteed to be a ball.
- The inevitable video with the proper music.
- One of the prerequisites to "Gnomebliteration" requires you to distract corrupted gnomes with a device that's supposed to manifest holographs of their suppressed "adolescent fantasies". As the tooltip says, "[t]his ought to prove interesting". One of them: An undead rock star standing atop a devilsaur (i.e. giant T-Rex)...in turn standing atop a shark...that's equipped with thrusters and a plasma cannon mounted on its head. Beta testers for Cataclysm had a lot of fun manifesting this character throughout Azeroth.
- The undead rock star riding a dinosaur riding a rocket-powered laser shark was originally added to the Maelstrom area in the Cataclysm beta, when testers said the maelstrom wasn't "epic enough". The shark is called "Epicus Maximus, Paragon of Epicosity", the T-Rex is called "And a Dinosaur", and the rider is called "ROCK ON".
- With the addition of Brawlpub, Epicus Maximus makes a reappearance as one of the level 8 opponents. The lasershark's now robotic, but it's still a paragon of epicosity.
- Another distraction is a dancing female Eredar.
- A third possible distraction is a high-performance mechanostrider—and since these are gnomes, Squee! ensues.
- As part of the same questline, you're asked to hack a corrupt computer. With an axe.
- On the topic of Uldum quests, the daily Thieving Little Pluckers will probably end up a favorite.
- The revelation in a Felwood quest that an Imp's Weaksauce Weakness is rainbows.
- Made even better when the imp breaks down crying, shouting things like "It's so intense!" and "What does it mean?!", references to the infamous "Double Rainbow" viral video.
- Bear Chucking. The quest text is as hilarious as the quest itself.
- And it's succeeded by Punting Season.Baby turtles are sweet, even if they can be somewhat bitey.
<Mylune holds up a bandaged finger.>
But they're so slow with their tiny little legs, they can't escape the fire creatures who are attacking Hyjal!
<Mylune claps her hands together.>
PLEASE save them, <name>! Pick up the wee turtles and punt them into the water of the Ashen Lake. Don't worry about the kicking, they have hard shells.
They also have hard teeth, so don't pick them up by the mouth.
- Also from Hyjal is Kristoff Manheim, who was sent into an ogre cave to research the Eye of Twilight and who you encounter hanging from a chain.Player: So how is your researching coming along?
Kristoff: <name>. Can I call you <name>? I am hanging from a meathook in the back of an ogre cave. How do you THINK my research is progressing, you pompous dirt-sucking ass-<class>? C'mere! C'mere you son of a swineheard! <Kristoff flutters back and forth on his chain, trying desperately to kick you in the face>
- When you retrieve the key to his chain but opt not to immediately free him:Player: Um, no. Would you mind hanging out a little longer? I have some stuff to take care of first.
Kristoff: You... WHAT? Come over here and say that! <Kristoff kicks and flails his limbs in a frothing rage, his head twisting around to glare at you.> So help me, I will - I am going to - I will knock your brains out! I will fill the empty cavity left behind with my boot! Come here! GET BACK HERE! <Kristoff strains to grasp your neck, his fingers wriggling inches from your face.>
- And, finally, when you turn in the last quest, informing the person who sent him into the cave in the first place of the rescue:Royce Duskwhisper:' Kristoff, Kristoff... Oh yes I remember now. I recall sending him on what amounted to a suicide mission. He survived? I suppose that means he failed.
- When you retrieve the key to his chain but opt not to immediately free him:
- And it's succeeded by Punting Season.
- In Blackwing Descent, we have an encounter with Nefarian's half-wit minion, Maloriak. When you beat him, Nefarian congratulates you in the most sarcastic way possible, and grants you the title of "Slayer of Stupid, Incompetent, and Disappointing Minions", with a buff to go along with it.
Terrifying. Ugly. Evil. Kill it.
- The Dungeon Journal introduced in Patch 4.2 typically provides the backstories of dungeon and raid bosses under the pages for their abilities. Then there's Chimaeron:
Finkle: Leaping Leper Gnomes! You're a sight for sore eyes. I was worried the giant magma worm out front would deter visitors. Now that you're here you can give me a hand.
- In order to fight Chimaeron without getting one-shot by it, you need to speak with Finkle Einhorn, who is locked in a cage behind it, leading to this exchange:
Player: I suppose you'll be needing a key for this cage? Wait, don't tell me. The horrific gibbering monster behind me ate it, right?
Finkle: What? Of course not! I could easily escape this simple contraption, but I'm much too busy. See, a while back I spent a few months inside the belly of a beast...
Player: You were trapped, as I recall. This situation seems oddly similar.
Finkle: It wasn't strictly voluntary, but I discovered something truly incredible. The beast seemed to be able to consume almost anything with no ill effects.
Player: Gnomes in Lava Suits, for example.
Finkle: Exactly. I ran some tests on the residual digestive fluid coating my suit and...
<Finkle trails off>
Say, you haven't seen my skinning knife anywhere, have you? I seem to have misplaced it.
Player: No, I, uh, haven't seen it note . You were saying?
Finkle: Oh yes, the bile; it's amazing stuff. With the proper catalysts it renders anything to which it's applied practically immortal*. I've been harvesting it with my reprogrammed Bile-O-Tron 800 and I'm certain I've got the mixture right this time. I just need a few volunteers to test it out against a suitable creature. What do you say, friend?
* Immortality subject to certain restrictions.
Player: Restrictions? What restrictions?
Finkle: Oops! That lever activates the Bile-O-Tron. Oh, and if you happen to come across a key...
- The instance includes an elevator which goes down a long way and actually moves faster than a player falls. As a result, missing the elevator by even a second would kill people. Due to the number of skeletons this would produce in any given raid, people started calling it the "Elevator Boss"... and Blizzard added a stat to track its kills.
- Drive your hot rod into the crowds in the goblin starting zone. Oh yeah, Video Game Cruelty Potential!
- Some of the victims respond as well:"You'll pay for this, [player name]!"
"My neck! You'll be hearing from my lawyer!"
- Some of the victims respond as well:
- Getting the turtle mount from the trading card game (which doesn't increase your movement speed at all), and going around a capital city singing "Slow ride! Take it easy!"note
- Mammoth parades.
- Most of Budd Nedreck's quests, the best of which is probably Budd's Plan. Why? That's why.◊
- By the time you get to the Cho'gall encounter in Bastion of Twilight, you will likely have become somewhat tired of his long-winded speeches, with the (insane and possessed) "Gall" head continually interrupting the "Cho" head to make rambling declarations of doom and chaos. Well, when you get to the room where you actually fight Cho'gall, his introductory speech shows that Cho is getting as fed up with Gall as you are, because he tells himself several times to just shut the hell up and stop interrupting him...self.
- Calder Gray in the Southern Barrens, probably a partial Shout-Out to Grey's Anatomy. After you finish his quest chain, he'll ask you,"Do you know what I like [name]?"
"No, Calder. What do you like?"
- In the same area, Crawgol writes a field guide to silithids... which is ridiculously uninformative.
- The rare spawn in Western Plaguelands, Scarlet Judge, has an aggro of "I judge you.... DELICIOUS!"
- "THRALL'S BALLS!"
- "They're everywhere!"
- Upon handing in the quest "Mystery of the Sarcen Stone" in Azshara, Malynea Skyreaver has a short conversation with Custer Clubnik.Malynea: Did you hear that, Clubnik? Those that died defending Lake Mennar are heroes. Their selfless actions may have even saved this entire world! A memorial should be erected.
Clubnik: Sure, I hear ya. Howsabout a... Memorial Fuel Depot? It'll be very tasteful!
Malynea: Clubnik? I hope you die. In a fire.
- In the revamped Zul'Gurub, Bloodlord Mandokir (As part of his fight mechanic) will one-shot a player and level up, having since apparently become aware of how leveling works, he goes...Mandokir: Ding!
Jin'Do (the final boss, heard from the distance): 'Ey! Gratz mon!
- The three chains binding Hakkar are protected by a buff that can only be removed with a troll spirit's body slam. The buff has some flavor text on closer examination."Vulnerable to Body Slams from large, heavy, troll-like objects."
- The three chains binding Hakkar are protected by a buff that can only be removed with a troll spirit's body slam. The buff has some flavor text on closer examination.
- The Butcherbot in Tanaris is possibly the most hilariously disturbing thing in the game. It's a little robot with claws that you're supposed to call to butcher freshly killed animals. While it's doing this, it yells things like,"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!"
"Chop chop chop!"
"I want the arterieeeeeeeees!"
- Chromie's reaction to seeing Mannoroth being pulled through the Well of Eternity and back into the Twisting Nether."Sorry we're late, did we miss anythi—Oh wow!"
- A rare spawn grave robber in Duskwood lampshades the fact that grave robbers like her are considered scum, but you looting corpses (that you literally just killed) is totally OK."Adventurers are such hypocrites! Like YOU just FOUND your weapon on the side of the road!"
- Another rare spawn is Fenwick Thatros in Silverpine Forest, who used to be a quest NPC for undead rogues pre-Cataclysm. Despite the quest he was in involved you taking his head, he's back and he's less than pleased that you're trying to kill when he's just trying to get some peace and quiet.
- You help a goblin priest (who airdrops in via parachute) exorcise a "haunted tractor" in Azshara. Unfortunately you both get the tractor destroyed... and yet, the priest still tells you to remind the owner about the bill for the exorcism services.
- Maximillian of Northshire is a blowhard knight in Un'Goro Crater, who hires you as his squire. You join him as he helps three fair maidens... (by chucking one off a cliff to save her from being trapped, killing another's pet bird because it was an "evil phoenix", and retrieving the purse of the last one, a very insulted male blood elf) Later, you help him slay evil "dragons" (dinosaurs) until you anger the "Dragon Queen" (actually the Devilsaur Queen) and are forced to flee her wrath on Maximillian's horse... and try to defeat her by chucking rocks, which doesn't work out so well. Eventually, Maximillian gets desperate and takes off his armor until he's down to his boxers... and asks you to chuck the armor at the rampaging dinosaur. Maximillian is a parody of Don Quixote. One of the rewards from his quest chain is a toy windmill, a reference to his status as a Windmill Crusader.
- During the earth segment of the Elemental Bonds questline, Aggra gets frustrated when Thrall's only response to her pleas for help is "We are patient."Aggra: He did NOT just say that.
Aggra: Oh, don't tell ME to be patient, you green-skinned...
- The reasoning for the quest you get after being attacked by an eel in Kelp'thar Forest, and essentially give yourself a quest to kill them because fuck eels.Eels are among the creepiest of Azeroth's creatures.
Sure, there are those who pretend that they don't mind them - and others who actually claim to favor them.
They are lying.
Truth be told, no one likes eels. Eels don't even like eels.
Azeroth would be a better place if no one ever had to envision an eel slithering out from the murky depths and biting them.
In the face.
- The best part is that you give yourself gold as your reward. Somehow.
- You do two similar quests in Uldum with hyenas and vultures, whom are much more likely to have previously sparked your ire.
- Horatio Laine in Westfall is a blatant expy of Horatio Caine, complete with facepalmingly-bad puns.(On inspecting the Furlbrow murder scene, including the death of Old Blanchy) "Looks like they really put the cart ... before the horse."
- And, yes, he does don a pair of sunglasses before delivering the punchline each time.
- During the Axis of Awful quest in the now mostly drained Loch Modan, the player is given supplies and instructions to spy on a meeting between local murloc leaders and representatives from the local gnoll and kobold groups. In order to arrive at this meeting undetected, you're given a makeshift bush under which to hide.
- Almost as awesome is the Firefly shout-out that occurs when the meeting is finally sabotaged.
- Gnolls tend to be hilarious nearly every single time they appear, mostly due to their incredible intelligence. Case in point.
- In the case of the Gnoll Orders, the Redridge NPCs mostly complain that they're being harassed by yet another gnoll named Yowler.
- Grandma Wahl during the worgen starting zone. I don't care if she's senile. Don't mess with her kitty.
- While investigating Stormwind's dock for Twilight cultist activity one of the responses you'll get is as follows:Stormwind Dock Worker: I swear that guy was dead when I found him! Wha- oh- Twilight's Hammer? No I don't know anything about that.
- An Alliance quest in Twilight Highlands sends you to kill a pair of two headed ogres. You cut off their heads figuring the questgiver will want proof of their demise (like always). Instead, he peers into the bag you give him and says (paraphrased)Questgiver: By the Light that's disgusting! I would have believed you if you simply told me they were dead!
- The Horde intro quest for Stonetalon Peak has a couple of sergeants talking when this gem comes up:Utvoch: "You know I can't resist tauren women Donty. They're my one weakness."Dontrag: "You're a sick sick orc Ut."
- Herbalists can find Livegiving Seeds that can be used to disguise themselves as a plant. It's not entirely useless since it restores health and mana over time, and it does change the character model into an herb... with the player's name and guild still prominently displayed. More or less an inversion of Paper-Thin Disguise, as the disguise actually looks pretty convincing otherwise, but it's not actually going to fool anyone who has name tags displayed. Even more hilarious if that herb is somewhere you would never find it in the wild, like on well-maintained decorative stone, or Azshara's Veil/Stranglekelp anywhere but in or near water.
- One of the revamped quests in Loch Modan has you collect Bear Rumps.
- When travelling to the Twilight Highlands for the first time, a Horde player has to wait for the zeppelin to arrive. During the wait, a pair of engineers give you a rundown of various features of the zeppelin and safety protocols. Of course, they are goblins... This exchange occurs around the two-minute mark:Hobart Grapplehammer: Should your zeppelin be attacked en-route, panic is inadvisable. Instead, look for a number of deck-mounted flak cannons positioned for just such an emergency.
Assistant Greely: Nothing keeps a fleet of combustible dirigibles safer than randomly flinging molten metal in every conceivable direction! [proceeds to demonstrate the flak cannons]
Hobart: Simply aim and pull the trigger. Or don't aim. I wash my hands of the whole thing.
Greely: I can hit my house from here!
Hobart: Greely, you're not randomly firing that thing into Bilgewater Port, are you?
Greely: No. Maybe. A little.
- Finally the zeppelin does arrive, and the goblins send you off with the following:
- A quest in Mount Hyjal has you taking the cores of fire elementals and destroying them to prevent them from coming back to life. When you turn it in, the questgiver comments that adventurers used to use the cores to make mediocre fire-resistant equipment, referring to blacksmiths, tailors and leatherworkers at 60 using fire elemental cores as reagents for gear. The fact that he specifically calls it mediocre is what sells it.
- Fargo Flintlocke in his entirety:
- When he's transporting Alliance players to the Twilight Highlands in his ad-hoc seaplane, he mentions that he packed it with cat food in case he ever gets lost in the mountains and he's removed all excess weight, including seatbelts, parachutes, maps, stabilizers and the landing gear, since he never actually lands aircraft anyway. Since the space between Elwynn and the Twilight Highlands is so far, he unloads all of the plane's fuel at once and tells you not to black out. You do anyway, and when you arrive at Highbank he'll comment "Oh, like you coulda done any better."
- His plan to destroy a circling Horde zeppelin is to use a technique passed down to him by his father, from his father, from his father, shortly before he got blown up. It involves firing the player out of a cannon. When he gets called out on it:"Doc" Schweitzer: Flintlocke, if we have a big giant cannon, why don't we just shoot ... a cannonball?
Fargo Flintlocke: Bah, predictable! They'll see it comin'!
Fargo Flintlocke: But once ol' <name> here blasts through their bulkhead in a hail of splintered wood, blood, and phlegm then starts crawlin' across the deck with both legs broken, oh aye, they'll not see THAT comin' by a sweet mile, no sir!
- When the above quest is completed, you're rewarded with a gun that reads "This weapon has clearly never been cleaned. Ever."
- Flintlocke's name is later applied to a gun upgrade which randomly shoots a rabid critter at the target. "'slike a wee angry bullet wit' teeth, son."
- He seems to have an odd habit of putting things in his mouth, including gunpowder and a greasy engine part.
- One quest in Ashenvale starts with the player killing a demon to find a message sent from one dreadlord to another about slaying the night elves at Forest Song or subjugating the orcs at Splintertree Post. The beginning of both versions of the letter is the first dreadlord berating the Legion's mindless demons, saying that all they think about is their nails, their whips, or goring something with their head spikes, then the bottom is him lambasting the second dreadlord for using his blood ink on love letters to the succubi, as night elf virgins are in short supply.
- The back-and-forth between Kelsey Steelspark and Megs Dreadshredder in Gadgetzan when they're respectively trying to sway the Steamwheedle Cartel toward the Alliance and Horde:Megs Dreadshredder: The paperwork's ready for you to sign, Marin. My people are just waiting on your decision.
Kelsey Steelspark: Gosh, Mr. Noggenfogger, I know you wouldn't want to damage your reputation as a neutral trade entity by forming closer ties to the Horde!
Megs Dreadshredder: This is laughable. You know what it's like trying to do business with gnomes.
Kelsey Steelspark: (jumps up and down) Oh, oh, I know this one! It's better than doing business with failed goblins that had to beg others for help!
Megs Dreadshredder: Why you little irradiated...
Marin Noggenfogger: AGH! Enough! You two are driving me INSANE! Start getting some freakin' work done around here or get the heck out of my town!
- One quest in the Thousand Needles is a satire of the player's habit of wantonly killing NPCs without repercussions. When Fizzle and Pozzik's Speedbarge is attacked by the Southsea Freebooters, you have to go to the pirates' hideout and retrieve a key from Tony Two-Tusk to free an imprisoned gnome or goblin. Once you try to use the key it breaks and Tony's spirit demands that you help him get the reagents for his ex-wife to bring him back to life (she only agrees because he needs to pay his alimony), and while you're doing so he follows you saying things such as berating you for killing him, offering you a job and joking that he would've simply sold you the key but it wouldn't have done you any good.
- In the Undead starting zone, you're tasked with consoling three newly arisen NPCs. One of them is Marshal Redpath, who tells you that he doesn't want to join the Forsaken and wants to form his own (which he later attempts, leading to you killing him), and maybe invent Forsaken with elbows (something all of them mysteriously lack, assuming you're not playing the Chinese version of the game).
- In the Burning Steppes, the storyline where you're infiltrating the Dark Horde in a Paper-Thin Disguise has the quest "Strategic Cuts" where you assassinate three of their leaders using scorpid barbs to stab them from behind. One of them is a troll witch doctor that falls off the top of a hut when you stab him, then while he's falling he yells "HEX YOU! HEX YOU! HEX YOU!" and uses his last few seconds to briefly turn you into a frog.
"THIS is the disguise he came up with? It was nice knowing you, my friend."
- The disguise is especially ridiculous when playing an Orc, Goblin, or Troll given that you're wearing a paper mask of an Orc, Goblin, or Troll respectively.
- The setup for the quest is hilarious too. You're given a Fetch Quest to get the parts for a "masterful" disguise, and then go through a quest to put the disguise together. After you do all this, you're presented with...a paper mask similar to those worn at Hallow's Eve. The person you turn the quest in to hangs a lampshade with this statement (paraphrased):
- As of Cataclysm, Falstad Wildhammer is now found in the throne room in Ironforge. All of his voiceclips are him complaining about a sky-loving Wildhammer dwarf like him having to live in an underground city from now on.
- A Barrens quest has the player inciting mutiny with the help of Tony Two-tusk. When he sends you to kill the Ogre guarding the treasure, he warns you "Careful, he's no pushover. I tried pushing him over once and he don't budge for nothing."
- In the Bloodsail Quest chain you are told to kill Fleet Master Seahorn while going undercover. Seahorn, a tauren, sends you to find a cow head and a pirate hat to give the Bloodsails. You then give the cow, Bossy, a Rousing Speech on why she needs to sacrifice herself, and she submits to the need. The end of the quest reflects on her sacrifice.
- A Thunder Bluff cooking daily has the quest giver asking you to get some "Magic" mushrooms. She is very flustered by the player's reaction as she just means they taste magical - there's nothing weird about them!
- When you join Fiona's caravan, she mentions that she was telling Tarenar "We have two paladins and a shopkeeper, but you know what we really need? A <player's class>!" If you're a paladin yourself, it ends up sounding like biting sarcasm.
- In the Southern Barrens, the quest "Sowing a Solution" is Naralex's disciple Muyoh sending you to use a cure he made for the magically-afflicted wildlife in the area. Throwing it at them will cause them to either become enraged or explode.
- One Undercity cooking daily involves feeding...something that the quest giver simply calls a "moat monster". To feed it, you are required to lure it out of the water by setting up a dummy and loudly pretending to be an Alliance soldier. The impersonations your character gives give a pretty good, and hilarious, look at how Horde soldiers tend to view their rivals.This city is so big to me, a tiny, pathetic Gnome.I am drunk, like many of my fellow Dwarves.
Mists of Pandaria
- The Pandaren player characters get a few silly remarks as well...Pandaren male: Hey! You look like you've lost some weight! ...*gravely* that's terrible! Have a dumpling!
- The opening cinematic for Mists of Pandaria features a shipwrecked orc and human coming to blows—only to be set upon by a Pandaren monk (Chen Stormstout) who proceeds to slap both of them to the ground, capping off by calmly replacing the hammer-like torch the orc was using as an improvised weapon. The human and orc stand completely dumbfounded with their mouths open for a beat, during which the human quietly hands his Horde counterpart a spear so they can fight the new opponent together.
- He still firmly kicks their everythings.
- The way that Chen replaces the torch is worth a laugh too. He puts it back on the pedestal it was on...then adjusts it, causing it to make a cartoonish "squeak!" noise. This is all done with a very serious expression on his face.
- The best part is that he replaces the torch and adjusts it with the end of his staff without ever so much as glancing at it.
- You can then find the same spot in the Jade Forest, where the torch is askew again. And fix it for an achievement. With the same squeak.
- The expansion introduced the Priest ability Confession, which as its name implies makes a friendly target confess a random secret. See them all here.
- A minor, often overlooked one from the Nectarbreeze Orchard storyline of the Jade Forest. One of the quests involve you spitting cider to put out fires. You can also spit cider on the Mogu you fight in the Orchards, and they either respond with "Argh!! It stings!" or "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!!"
- A rare Mogu caster in the Krasarang Wilds claims that he will "'banish you to the land of wind and ghosts!"
- One of the quests in the Krasarang Wilds involves retrieving a Pandaren affected by magic-induced Wangst. You find that he's lying a ways away from the village, waiting for the thunderbirds (giant vultures) to take him. That's not the funny part; the funny part is how you get him back. After trying to inspire him, he continues to refuse to move, and the dialogue option changes to "I don't have time for this. Move your ass or I'll move it for you". Thus, you literally kick him all the way back to town, while fighting off the thunderbirds. At one point, he pukes from rolling so much.
- He's rooting for the thunderbirds.
- The quest "Li Li's Day Off". The quest involves you escorting smart-mouthed young Li Li to several landmarks. If you wish, you can also take a full tour of the zone. She comments on other landmarks as well. In addition, you also have several quests to do near the three quest-required landmarks. Li Li also has comments on those. Highlights include the muddy water quest (and the fact that you can't avoid splashing her with it), and her taunting the giant turtle.
- Her comments about a quest to retrieve some dreamleaf are doubly hilarious if your character is a herbalist (to get the latter dialogue, you have to have a certain level of herbalism, otherwise she chides you for "manhandling" the bush and asks if you have ever picked an herb before).Li Li: Wait a minute, so now we need to go pick a flower for these guys? Seems kinda girly.
Li Li: Player Name, you picked that flower like a champion! You're like a... a professional flower-picker! Have you done this before?
- And the fact that Chen blithely leaves his young niece to be essentially baby-sat by you has some potential for dark hilarity. Your character could be anywhere on the alignment spectrum depending on how/if you roleplay, from a noble and spiritual shaman to a baby-eating warlock (or vice-versa!). Of course, Chen is a martial arts expert badass that makes Po look like Wimp Lo, so woe betide any who try to harm his family...
- Her comments about a quest to retrieve some dreamleaf are doubly hilarious if your character is a herbalist (to get the latter dialogue, you have to have a certain level of herbalism, otherwise she chides you for "manhandling" the bush and asks if you have ever picked an herb before).
- Tim Norman's review/"Dear John" letter to WoW.
- "Riko got this bitch on lockdown!"
- During a quest chain of the various Horde NPCs giving a scouting report, Riko's dialogue is filled with talking about his crush on the undead Kiryn. That or blissfully ignoring what the others are doing and just making something up.Shokia: (According to Riko) Come on Kiryn, let's go do girl stuff.
Both proceed to cheerfully skip away.
- From the same quest chain, Kiryn has Shokia snipe a raccoon to show Anduin she has back-up. Said raccoon is labelled "Innocent Raccoon" and has a title saying "Never hurt anyone."
- This removed bit of dialogue from "A Visit with Lorewalker Cho" that was in the beta.<Paint something sexy.>
Lorewalker Cho says: Ah! Haha - I can see now what your Alliance fights for.
Lorewalker Cho says: I prefer a little more meat on my birds, of course, but I can see that your people and mine are not so different after all.
- The Horde version of meeting Cho is mostly serious, reflecting on the trials and nature of your race, but if you're a goblin, your ancestor spirits appear wrapped in fire. "Oh my... it seems most of your ancestors died in a fire." Cho doesn't know what to make of it, but very quickly puts together that it means goblins sacrifice their personal safety for innovation, his tone trying very hard to not make it seem like a backhanded insult.
- Several books around Pandaria tell quaint little stories. One in particular has a monk and a farmhand playing a question game. If the monk can't answer the farmhand's question, he pays 50g. If the farmhand can't answer the monk's, he pays 5g. The farmhand asks, "What has the heart of a tiger, the wisdom of an eagle, and the strength of an ox?" The monk tries for hours but in the end pays the farmhand his 50g. Afterwards he asks, "What was the answer to your riddle?" The farmhand responds by handing back 5g.
- One NPC in the Vale of Eternal Blossoms complains to the player about a Pandaren insisting that feeling negative emotions is a very bad idea in Pandaria. If the player points out that a Pandaren knows more about the land than he does, he'll respond,NPC: What do you know? You act like you're the savior of Azeroth?
Player: *Glances up at Savior of Azeroth title overhead.*
- Rik'kal the Dissector of The Klaxxi has a couple of funny moments with some of his fellow Paragons.
- With Skeer the Bloodseeker, he wants to research his regenerative powers via trauma induction, tissue samples, and "a session of micro-sonic deep-gene probing. Nothing terribly invasive!"Skeer the Bloodseeker: What was that last part?
Rik'kal the Dissector: Tissue samples?
Skeer the Bloodseeker: After that.
Rik'kal the Dissector: Nothing terribly invasive?
Skeer the Bloodseeker: We are done talking.
- With Kaz'tik the Manipulator, he gets too eager in wanting to research Kaz'tik's pet kunchong Kovok, so he simply reminds him that Rik'kal probably has no protection against sonic manipulation, and that he could make Rik'kal perform invasive surgery on himself if he continues pestering him. Rik'kal promptly shuts up.
- Rik'kal's daily quest "Putting An Eye Out" opens with him asking the player for help followed by him saying under his breath "(You will help me, or else I will help myself to you!)" Naturally, this isn't the only time that they threaten to eat you.
- When you enter the Paragons' chamber in the Underhold:Kil'ruk the Wind-Reaver: Look, brothers! The Wakener is here!
Rik'kal the Dissector: They made it this far? I told you the others needed some microsonic genetic alterations!
- With Skeer the Bloodseeker, he wants to research his regenerative powers via trauma induction, tissue samples, and "a session of micro-sonic deep-gene probing. Nothing terribly invasive!"
- A minor laugh, but the quest "The Emperor" starts off similarly like the one where you helped a dwarf make a jungle alcoholic drink in the Nesingwary basecamp in Sholazar Basin. Then...Chen Stormstout: Very well, <player>. I will need your help making this beer. When I yell out the names of the ingredients, you throw them into the pot... AHAHAHA!! I am kidding! I am the best brewer across three continents! I think I can handle this part.
Mudmug: DAMN STRAIGHT YA CAN!
- Stormstout Brewery. A dungeon in which even the ghosts are drunk off their asses. Among the highlights:
- The first room, in which the ghost of an old lady thinks Chen Stormstout is someone else and tries to offer him cookies. Chen tries to explain... and then accepts one cookie.
- ...which, after a moment (at which point most groups have started on the trash), he realizes is a ghost cookie and is not filling at all.
- A Hozen dance party going on in the first section. After you defeat the Hozen boss, the rest begin a dance party in your honor as the new Ook.
- After the second boss you begin fighting elemental creatures made of beer called Alementals.
- The above-mentioned drunk-off-their-ass ghosts' response to those Alementals:Hey those are our flying... beer monsters...?
- In the next to last room, the ghosts throw a random Statler and Waldorf wisecrack at you.
- Then the final boss of the place, a series of Alementals created by the Cloudcuckoolander Uncle Gao, ending in "Yan-Zhu the Uncasked."
- The dialogue between Uncle Gao and Chen Stormstout at the end.Chen Stormstout: Uncle Gao, this brewery was left in your care! What have you done?
Uncle Gao: You again? Don't you see? I have made a name for myself at last. I have brewed perfection!
Chen Stormstout: At what cost? The brewery is trashed! Infested!
Uncle Gao: Details, details.
Chen Stormstout: And there are Virmen in the main store!
Uncle Gao: Look, "Chen Stormstout," we can't all be heroes, running from our responsibilities, tromping around the Dread Wastes, saving the world. Some of us are "Artists."
Chen Stormstout: I think the brewery might be on fire.
Uncle Gao: Yes, yes. That happens.
- The first room, in which the ghost of an old lady thinks Chen Stormstout is someone else and tries to offer him cookies. Chen tries to explain... and then accepts one cookie.
- One final boss of the Xuen series of August Celestial dailies is the P.U.G., a trio of saurok consisting of a healer ("Healiss") a tank ("Tankiss") and a rogue ("Hackiss"). They constantly blame each other when things go wrong, and Xuen's comment that strength in numbers is a respectable idea when properly executed is an amusing Take That! to poorly organized PUGs.
- Hackiss also parodies the typical greedy player by constantly trying to pickpocket anything in sight.
- Also during Xuen's dailies, he says that he made Ken-Ken and Ashyo, who hate each other, fight together to teach them the power of teamwork. Then says that he also thought it would be funny.
- One of the Klaxxi daily quests is to destroy spider eggs with a flamethrower. If you accept the quest then talk to the questgiver again, he asks "I don't have to explain how to use that, do I? You point the scary end at something that isn't burning, and you FIX THE PROBLEM."
- Bonus hilarity if you know that the quest name ("Nope Nope Nope") is a Memetic Mutation regarding how the appropriate response to a spider in your house is to burn the house to the ground.
- If the flamethrower is used on an adult mob, the damage is minor and they're "Mostly just annoyed".
- Sho's note, which can be found at her usual spot on the days she's in Halfhill. Doubles as Heartwarming Moment.If you find this note, then I am either dead or at Halfhill market.
Hopefully I have temporarily left my post to enjoy a mug of ale in town. Perhaps you should go check, just in case.
If indeed I have failed my mission, please send my love and effects to my family in Zhu's Watch.
- At the end of the Alliance Pandaren quest-line, you can spar with Varian. When you hit him, a cutscene ensues with Varian slowly tumbling onto his back. The look on Aysa and Jojo's faces with jaws dropped. Possibly due to the way the models worked, this ended up looking hilariously◊ derpy.◊ Particularly that second one.
- One quest on the Wandering Isle has you burning pandaren scrolls that the hozen have written their own "wisdoms" on. The hozen have written some incredibly odd morals, such as
- Peel banana first, eat second.
- Wet fur not fun to sleep on.
- Don't roll in own poo unless you want to smell like poo all day.
- Steal a banana from a hozen, expect an angry hozen.
- Poo not good to eat, but very good to throw.
- Mouth only hole that banana go in.
- Don't throw banana peel where going to walk.
- Firecracker for throwing, banana for eating.
- Don't pull own tail when there are other tails to pull.
- The female pandaren dance.
- In the Dread Wastes, you come across a prophecy of doom while helping some traveling brewers in the area. While one member of that group accepts the prophecy for what it is and has you collect the necessary MacGuffins, the rest of them assume it's a beer recipe and send you ingredient hunting at the same time. The brew doesn't turn out so good.
- Han Stormstout, named after Star Wars character Han Solo and who is found encased in a chunk of amber referencing the latter being encased in carbonite in The Empire Strikes Back. When Chen finds him he assumes he's dead, but when you complete the above storyline you can pour the failed beer on him to break him out. He wakes up confused, then pukes and falls asleep.
- In the "Cloak of Virtue" quest, after Wrathion has had to sit through all four August Celestials telling him about their virtue, and in particular comparing their understanding of it with his, he has this to say.Wrathion: Excellent work with the celestials. Can you believe how chatty they were? I just wanted them to hand us our reward, but they were just, "talk talk talk talk talk."
- Also, when speaking with Niuzao about "fortitude".Wrathion: So, strength is developed on the outside, and fortitude is developed from within?
Wrathion: ...Sure. I knew that.
Niuzao: Hmhmhmhm, of course you did.
- One of the trials involves the player character dueling Wrathion. While Wrathion is blindfolded.
- At the end of the quest chain after you've defeated Garrosh, Wrathion is furious that Varian did not use the opportunity to wipe out the Horde as he'd anticipated. His rant is interrupted by resident innkeeper Tong the Fixer, who delivers an epic verbal smackdown which Wrathion refuses to listen to. Tong reacts to Wrathion's dramatic exit with the calm Understatement we've come to expect from the pandaren:Tong the Fixer: He destroyed my inn. He left no tip. He is not nice.
- Also, when speaking with Niuzao about "fortitude".
- In the Valley of the Four Winds, there's a hozen questgiver who tells you that the local virmen tried to start their own farms, but, not being clear on the concept, tried to plant the farm equipment. Just from this dialogue, you get the understanding that the virmen's unintelligence gives both gnolls and troggs a run for their money.
- Shortly after, you're asked to recover some vegetables stolen by virmen from one of the farmers. The virmen are using the turnips for target practice (they really Do Not Like Turnips), and the watermelons as buoys and boats. When you return the vegetables to the farmer, he sees the bruising on the turnips and the over-soggy watermelons and asks, "what were they doing with these?"
- Li Li exploits the virmen's hatred of turnips later, by painting them orange and disguising them as carrots. The virmen's reaction to finding the "carrots"—and then to the revelation they're actually turnips—is quite the sight to behold.
- Before that, you're asked to gather the components for an orange dye to paint the turnips. This is accomplished by combining the coloring of marigolds...and animal blood. Li Li, of course, has something to say about this:Li Li: Whoah, whoah, WHOAH! You brought back BLOOD? I guess I should have looked around for half a second before asking you to bring back something red.
- And then she goes and makes the dye anyway, chuckling as she does so.
- Before that, you're asked to gather the components for an orange dye to paint the turnips. This is accomplished by combining the coloring of marigolds...and animal blood. Li Li, of course, has something to say about this:
- When you first meet Koro Mistwalker in the Krasarang Wilds, you can see he's holding a saurok by the neck.
- The Kunzen Collector mob in the Valley of the Four Winds is a hozen wearing a stylish hat which is accompanied by a buff saying that it's most likely stolen, and they also have a debuff where they steal your pants appropriately called "Gimme Pants!"
- Another example of gnoll (un)intelligence with Captain Ripflesh in Kun-Lai Summit: when he's at half health, he hides in a barrel and attempts to use a mirror image attack, which is triggering several decoys and he tells you to try to find the real one. After a brief pause, during which most players doing this quest for the first time will be confused by the sheer absurdity of his endeavor, he leaps out from one of the barrels and when slain asks how did you know which was real.
- The decoys in question are purchased from the Darkmoon Faire; when you loot his body you'll find a bill of sale with a disclaimer saying that their effectiveness depends on the intelligence of the target and is not warranted for use against humanoids, dragonkin, or anything else semi-sentient. The price of the decoys is shown to be 60g 20s 300c, ergo they conned him into paying an extra 3 silver.
- The Story Breadcrumbs to the Valley of the Four Winds (Sending the player to meet Chen and Li Li): "A traveler came through here recently. He told a better story than Pan, drank twice as much as Lee, then beat me up in front of the bar. All while his little niece made fun of us. It was awesome."
- When you plant a new crop in Sunsong Ranch, it will face some random problem such as being dry or infested with insects that you'll have to solve before it can grow. The funniest is when a tendril grows out of the soil and you have to wrestle it by using the Flex command until you have 50 stacks of Dominance, while also biting it whenever it tries to slam you into the ground.
- Tired of poop quests? Well, there's a quest in Townlong Steppes that consists of you killing mushans for their bladders so that their urine can be used as an antiseptic. The flavor text of the bladders lampshades how it isn't much better than poop, telling you "This seems like a GREAT thing to put in your bag."
- Both of the quests with Bluesaddle and his Cousin Bag-of-Rocks. In Niuzao Temple, Bluesaddle thinks that the temple staff will trade in defective yaks and he asks that you see for yourself how unruly the yak is. You have to attempt to pet it, feed it, nudge it (you have no animation for such an action, so your unarmed and kick animations play instead), and mount it, all while the yak-keeper is arguing with him behind you, then when you're done the yak-keeper tells him that he can find yaks at a nearby lake. Bag-of-Rocks then points out that they could've gotten a new yak in Kun-Lai.
- The following quest has you helping Bluesaddle find a good yak. The yaks will attack you until you find the right one, and they all have prefixes attached to their names which also give them certain abilities: Mean, Smelly, Angry, and Stabby, then eventually they get multiple prefixes coming to a head at Mean, Smelly, Angry, Stabby, Very Bad Townlong Yak (named after the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day).
- Foreman Mann's dialogue during the Greenstone Quarry storyline after she hands you her first quest, which shows that she's not that creative:Normally we'd be more than capable of fulfilling Cho's request. Jade veins run through this land like...
<Mann scratches her head for a moment in thought.>
Well, like something that runs through something else in veins.
Look, I ain't a poet.
Point is: we got problems.
- When the player completes the farming daily for the August Celestials, a student will come by and pick up the Striped Melons that the player grew and comment "I just love the sound they make when they explode!"
- During Master Bruised Paw's storyline he at one point sends you to steal eggs from the birds on a nearby hill, with 10 eggs from terns, 4 eggs from cranes, and 1 giant egg from a large purple strider. During your third Training Montage it's shown that the tern and crane eggs were so he can eat them and so he can throw them at you while you trained, while the strider egg was so you and him can break it open. After you do, another strider comes and repeatedly knocks him down and your character runs offscreen.
- In the Siege of Orgrimmar raid, the path between the second and third bosses has two trash mobs representing vanity and zeal. They both have a 10-second stun that causes the target to become self-absorbed and entranced by their own reflection.
- The Trial of the King fight in Mogu'shan Palace, which shows that one of the reasons the mogu are so easily defeated is their open distrust of each other; the boss is a trio of warring mogu clan leaders who fight the dungeon group to prove to Xin the Weaponmaster why they're the superior clan. When you've defeated the leaders of all three clans, the Gurthan leader Kuai the Brute accuses Clan Harthak and Kargesh of hiring the group to disrupt the peace. The Harthak leader Ming the Cunning accuses Gurthan of pointing fingers and the Kargesh leader Haiyan the Unstoppable sides with Gurthan, then Kuai assumes that Ming and Haiyan are secretly in league with each other and a fight between the armies of the three clans breaks out (by the time their exchange ends, most groups will be halfway through the path to the Gekkan encounter).
- In July 2014, Blizzard released a Deleted Scene of the opening cinematic showing what the human and the orc did after Chen kicked their ass: get hammered.In a hat! <Thud>
- Among the possible junk items you can get from Blingtron 4000 are:
- A Steamy Romance Novel: I'm In Love With a Robot, which reads "The pages are too heavily smudged with oil to read." Later on Draenor, you can find a pristine copy that's not covered in oil, revealing that it's just a collection of schematics.
- A vial of Bottled Fire, which has a warning label reading "Opening causes death." (Sadly, Press X to Die is averted with this item as it's a gray-quality item that can't be opened.)
- An Extreme Back Scratcher, which appears to be a saw.
- A mug of Robot Brew, which reads "Not fit for human consumption. Robot consumption is also questionable. You should not consume robots."
- Showing that the Wowhead staff has a sense of humor, the one screenshot for the item is an advertisement for Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil from a loading screen in Futurama: The Game.
- "Human Improved", which is an evolution chart showing humans evolving into chickens.
- Brewmaster Boof and Egg Shell's Casual Danger Dialog as they're transporting the player through a saurok-filled cave while the saurok throw spears at your boat, up until the Mood Whiplash at the end:Brewmaster Boof: Hey there. I don't think you want to go down that tunnel on foot. The saurok are out in force today and they are mighty territorial.
Brewmaster Boof: Ever been to Kun-Lai before? It's great. Long flowing farmlands. Beautiful mountains. And absolutely nothing dangerous whatsoever.
Egg Shell: Hozen attack grummles.
Brewmaster Boof: Well... yes. There are problems with the hozen.
Egg Shell: Tigers.
Brewmaster Boof: Yes, and the tigers.
Egg Shell: Darkhatched saurok are very dangerous, and very powerful.
Brewmaster Boof: [ignoring the spear that just hit the keg under Egg Shell] The spears are just for show. As long as we don't get out of the boat or make eye contact or get hit by a spear then we should be fine.
Egg Shell: Saurok are very dangerous.
Brewmaster Boof: It's safe. I brought Lorewalker Cho and his strange companions up this way not long back.
Egg Shell: The "orc" tried to punch me.
Brewmaster Boof: You had that coming. Waving your incense about in his face... [seeing Binan Village, which is filled with pandaren refugees that have lost their homes to the attacking yaungol] wait a minute. Something doesn't feel right about this.
- In the Siege of Niuzao Temple, there Commander Vo'jak's realization when he finds that the group has killed the Sik'thik Amberwing:Where... where is it? Worthless, useless... damn you!
- His Villainous Breakdown when he sends all of his remaining troops at once also deserves a mention.
- One of the random quotes when you click on a male pandaren cub is simply him telling you that he's growing a beard.
- Most of the racial "languages" render as foreign-looking gibberish. With the pandaren, they just went straight for silly; the Pandaren tongue to non-speakers (or to speakers in the other faction) renders as "Om nom nom".
- During the Siege of Orgrimmar mega-raid (specifically the Gates of Retribution portion in the Raid Finder), Gamon's battle cries are voiced in the default language for the game client, but in the transcript log they're in Demonic... makes one wonder if there's more to how Gamon kept coming back from all his demises.
- It's because a lot of raids free Gamon, then let him fight the warlock on the ramp down into Nazgrim's room while they clear the Kor'kron trash. That warlock inflicts a debuff similar to the old Curse of Tongues, which makes its targets speak in Demonic and thus screws up spellcasting. You can see the same thing at work with world bosses from time to time.
- Lady Sylvanas Windrunner has this gem before the battle against Galakras in Siege of Orgrimmar:Garrosh really has gone all-out this time, hasn't he? I expected more spikes, honestly.
- When Pandaren players first arrive to wake up the Spirit of Earth, Ji is trying to threaten him into waking up.Ji: "I will break you rock man!"
- Dying on the Chamber of Whispers? Not fun. Seeing other players die after you're done with its quests? Worth a few chuckles.note
- Patch 5.1 added a rare spawn wolf to Elwynn Forest. His name? Lamepaw the Whimperer. He doesn't drop anything of note, only 6-slot bags.
Warlords of Draenor
- The quest event "Opening of the Dark Portal" had one section in which you must create a line of powder which is then ignited and causes the building to blow up. Since there is an infinite amount of powder, and the game remembers where you walked, the fire travels along the powder even when it touches other trails you created. Cue players doing things like creating hilariously improbable powder-lines, creating shapes, trying to cover as much of the ground as they could in black, drawing symbols on the ground, or writing words in cursive.
- A test item in the alpha was a legendary two-handed mace called Fudgehammer, with a tooltip saying that it's the weapon of Blackhand (in-game, Blackhand uses a unique model for his hammer, while this uses a generic model) and its legendary status is derived from its name and not its power, as its only stat is +2 Attack Power (a stat that hasn't been obtainable on high-level gear since the itemization system change in Cataclysm).
- Similarly, one placeholder item in the alpha was called Placeholder, Blessed Holder of Places, named after memetic weapon Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker.
- In Ashran, you can loot various body parts from enemy players and they all have different flavor texts. In particular, pandaren hides apparently would be good for decorating a foyer, draenei tails are a potent necromantic ingredient when ground finely, night elf heads can used to top a Winter's Veil tree, and gnome hair is great for blood elf wigs.
- The text for the Worgen Snout is "This thing won't be making that annoying sound any longer" as a jab at the worgen's sniffing idle animation, which is the only idle animation in the game with an audible sound, and indeed Alliance players will likely hear the sound frequently.
- The engineering quest for Horde has them rebuild a gun into "Blixthraz's Frightening Grudgesolver" so you can blow up some Gentle Clefthoofs. Its model number is "BFG9K-1".
- Blingtron 5000 is the same as his predecessor, except he can fight other Blingtron units to the death. To drive the point home, he has a golden diamond-studded wrench as a melee weapon and visible battle scars, including an ear ring missing from his right ear, a broken tooth, an exposed left optic, dents on his body and exposed wires in his head.
- A toy obtained from a quest granted by the Lumber Mill disguises the user as a tree. As if that wasn't enough, there's its flavor text:"Used by tree assassins to assassinate high profile trees. No, really."
- The Dance Studio was finally implemented in the form of a mission that lets you send a follower to the Northrend Academy of Dance. Upon completion, they'll be awarded an item that turns a follower into a Dance Battler that has a slightly increased success rate against Danger Zones.
- The Command Table at your garrison's town hall contains a list of the various followers you can potentially gain. Two entries on the list (as of beta) seem improbable at best: Leeroy Jenkins and Image of Archmage Vargoth. No, not Archmage Vargoth himself, his image.
- Turns out these improbable Garrison followers actually are obtainable! Leeroy is found in a re-engineered Upper Blackrock Spire, and you gain him by succeeding in protecting him (despite the tendencies he's well-known for) in Heroic mode. Bonus points for being voiced by the original Leeroy, and having chicken with him. As for the Image of Archmage Vargoth, you get him by finding four artifacts scattered around Draenor, each of which have a quest attached; when you collect all four, you get to speak with Vargoth again; he's still stuck in Outland.
- The tooltips for spells used by your followers, many of which are self-deprecating:Ascendance: Cast by a shaman to greatly increase burst damage. Seems unfair at times.
Blink: Cast by a mage to quickly teleport out of harm's way. Hax.
Cleave: Used by a warrior to damage multiple enemies. Also used to describe every arena team.
Conjure Food: Your body needs energy to perform to its fullest!
Dash: Used by a druid to quickly dash out of harm's way, as if they didn't already move fast enough.
Divine Shield: Cast by a paladin to prevent damage. Also used to escape in a cowardly manner (shameful).
Dominate Mind: Cast by a priest to neutralize a dangerous enemy. Wildly popular in AB and EotS note .
Drain Life: Cast by a warlock to regain life. Duh.
Energizing Brew: Used by a monk to significantly increase burst damage. Also tastes fantastic.
Fear: Used to neutralize a dangerous opponent. Sometimes causes them to violate basic laws of physics. Odd note .
Freezing Trap: Used by a hunter to neutralize a dangerous enemy. Watch your step!
Hex: Cast by a shaman to neutralize a dangerous enemy. Also makes them feel dumb.
Ice Block: Cast by a mage to prevent massive damage. For a while.
Kick: Used by a rogue to interrupt a spell (super frustrating).
Leap of Faith: Cast by a priest to help the target escape harm's way (or just to mess with them).
Metamorphosis: Cast by a warlock pretending to be a demon hunter. Greatly increases burst damage note .
Sap: Used by a rogue to neutralize a dangerous enemy (or just to annoy you).
Singe Magic: Cast by an annoying imp to remove a harmful magic effect.
Sprint: Used by a rogue to escape harm's way. Or, to move quickly between the mailbox and auction house.
Summon Infernal: Cast by a warlock to feel powerful and deal significant damage. Makes nearby innocents very nervous.
- An Alliance quest in Shadowmoon Valley has an old draenei woman asking you to find her husband, believing that he's been turned into a toad. When you turn in the quest, her husband returns from fishing and his dialogue suggests that this has happened before.Vulaa: Hey honey, I'm back.
Vulaa: Oh, not again... Loola, I'm right here. I'm not a toad... for Light's sake.
- Taking this moment over the top? Loola isn't convinced, and says maybe she'll kiss a couple of the toads just to be sure.
- The store description for the Tyrael's Charger mount in the beta:While one might wonder why the Light-winged denizens of the high heavens would have any need for a flying steed, the answer is simple: BECAUSE ARMORED ANGEL HORSES LOOK TOTALLY AWESOME. Now you too can streak down from the sky like a bolt of avenging lightning upon Tyrael's Charger.
- One quest for the Shadowmoon Exiles has you collecting flowers for the quest giver to give to his lover. After you give them to him, he shows the flowers to one of his boars and of course it eats them, causing him to just give up and sulk.
- The Elekk Plushie craftable through tailoring, which has abilities that make no effort to hide its status as a Joke Character:Rawr!: Imagine yourself as a real elekk and the damage you could inflict if that were actually true.
Nap Time: Take a short nap.
Plushie Rush: Pretend to rush at the enemy with great ferocity!
Cute As A Button: Look cute.
Who's The Best Elekk In The Whole World?: Relish in your dominance as the greatest stuffed animal ever.
Itchin' for a Stitchin: Bring your plushie in for a hug.
- Frostwall has a vendor that sells spikes for you to decorate the area with."It's a matter of style."
- Several vendors sell the opposite of Simple Wood, Complicated Wood, which is both useless and incredibly expensive."It's just not that simple."
- The fact that one of the vignette mobs in Frostfire Ridge is named The Beater should raise a few eyebrows.
- Bony Xuk of the Laughing Skull in Gorgrond. His name is pronounced "zuck", and the names of some of his quests are some play on it.
- How he becomes your follower deserves a mention: in the quest "Zero Xuks Given", he tries to convince Gro the Uncreator, a several story-tall magnaron, to join in the fight against the Iron Horde, only for Gro to pound Xuk flat, leaving behind only his bones and his tribal mask. His spirit comments that his ancestors must be laughing at him.
- Warlord Zaela snarking about Commander Tharbek's men in the revamped Upper Blackrock Spire:Well done Commander, but it seems that the intruders are still quite alive.(!)
This is pitiful! Do your men not know where the sharp part of the axe goes?
- Like Nefarian did in the original version, she starts off the pre-boss gauntlet by telling her men to kill the one in the dress.
- The members of the Alliance and Horde Vanguards that fight at the Dark Portal before and during the siege on Tanaan Jungle are blatant facsimiles of the typical player who exist only to have their corpses litter the path when the player is escaping to Shadowmoon Valley or Frostfire Ridge, but they also make a sharp jab at how players use the naming system and Transmogrification with Roague, a human rogue with a leather harness and a Jewel of the Firelord, Ryii the Shameless, who is wearing the Black Mageweave set that is generally agreed to be one of the most Stripperiffic cloth sets in the game, Durphorn the Bullheaded, Northpaul, Etubrute, Monishot, and a worgen simply named Ed.
- Some fun from Frostfire Ridge:
Blackrock Warder yells: The Iron Horde war machine has toppled nations, and you idiots can't get us over a PILE of SNOW?!Blackrock Warder yells: You shovel like a Shadowmoon! Would you like to draw a little circle in the snow? Maybe light some candles and ask the wheel nicely to come out?!
- In a conversation you can hear between Draka and Thrall, she asks why he has no mate yet. Because Draka is his mother (though she herself is unaware), Thrall completely stumbles over his answer in shock as if she'd just pulled the I Want Grandkids trope.
- After defeating the Iron Wolf and learning the Iron Horde is on its way, Durotan declares "They outnumber us 50 to 1! They don't stand a chance!"
- During the battle of Thunder Pass itself, Ga'nar is having the time of his life, declaring their choke point more of a meat grinder. When it's pointed out that Iron Horde forces just keep coming, he happily says that's the best part.
- Yelled by the Blackrock Warder NPC:
- Similar to "Gnomebliteration" above, the first part of the Shattrath City scenario in Talador is to drive an Iron Star over droves of hapless Iron Horde grunts. The Iron Star despawns as soon as you reach Khadgar and his allies, so make it last.
- In Southport, there is a dwarf sitting in a bench alongside an Anodized Robo Cub which he named Sir Bearington.
- The quest "Defungination" at Pinchwhistle Gearworks will award the player with a chest item labeled "Fireproof" with the disclaimer "Fireproof claims have not been independently validated". You'll later get a pair of fungal resistant boots saying "Fungal resistance assertions are subject to patent approval" and a pair of "Super Sterilized" leggings saying "Sterilization through cauterization".
- Unlike all the other arenas before it rewarding you with a weapon for defeating their champions, the Ring of Trials in Nagrand rewards you with bracers. Upon receiving it, the fight promoter you turn the quest into tells you "Hey...what were you expecting? Frostmourne or something?"
- In one Alliance quest in Nagrand, Thaelin pranks Yrel by sending her a box of baby goren instead of a shipment of engineering parts. After you round them up, you get him back at Telaari Station by releasing the goren back to him, who chase him in circles until he runs out the gate.
- When you're helping the Steamwheedle Preservation Society steal an ogre artifact, you have to set up a teleporter so the expedition leader and three of his workers can neutralize the forcefield around it. One of them dies during the process, then he comments "I just had to wear the red shirt..."
- When you come across a kaliri egg and try to parent the hatchling yourself, your character decides to feed it the nearby ravager grubs, but they're also prepared to chew and regurgitate them like a mother bird would. Fortunately for them, kaliri don't feed this way and the hatchling eats the grubs before they do.
- In Gorgrond, one of the dwarf carcasses in the area has a journal with flavor text saying the owner was attempting to give himself Acquired Poison Immunity to the snakes in the area. Judging by the fact that you find his corpse in a pond filled with water snakes, it's safe to say he failed.
- In Spires of Arak, the player is given a magical item to help them kill an elite saberon that distracts them for several seconds. The item? A magical laser pointer. The debuff the saberon gets while he chases it? "MUST GET THE LIGHT!"
- Also in Spires of Arak, you have Reshad and his pet bird Percy looking through a fallen arakkoa's library for something useful:Reshad: Percy, what's that you've got there? Come now, let's see it... Fifty Layers of Shadow?! PERCIVAL, YOU PUT THAT BACK THIS INSTANT. Nasty bird...
- The Ravenspeakers of the Arakkoa Outcasts are just a little... off. Even the god they worship, the Raven Mother Ka'alu, says they are not quite sane. In your first quest you're sent after a beloved member of their flock, which is a doll your quest giver treats as a Companion Cube. Nearly every time you speak to one they have a different example of As the Good Book Says.... When you first reach the High Ravenspeaker, he has this to say:In the whispers of the Raven Mother, blessed she be, it was foretold in the Scroll of Order that upon calling for a sign that we would receive one within thirty minutes or less.
- Also in Spires of Arak, you have Reshad and his pet bird Percy looking through a fallen arakkoa's library for something useful:
- When an engineer crafts an Ultimate Gnomish Army Knife, the one they have will possess the ability to resurrect a dead player every 10 minutes. The next ones they craft will all be tradeable but lack the resurrection ability, which is pointed out in your engineering spellbook:Once you have an Ultimate Gnomish Army Knife in your possession, this recipe will create a version without jumper cables that you can sell to pathetic non-engineers.
- Khadgar is pretty hilarious all throughout the Commanders' dealings with him.Ordinarily I wouldnt ask you to assault a fortified moving train - ah, no, thats not true. This is exactly the sort of thing Im going to need from you. All the time.
Collect 4986 crystals for me.
- Khadgar gets a great one during the legendary quest chain that essentially pokes fun at all those collection quests you've done over the years:
Don't look at me like that. I'm a mage. I did the math. I need exactly 4986 crystals. 4985 is inadequate. 4987 is of course absurd.
Four thousand, nine hundred eighty-six. Go!
Well, <name>? Are you armed?
- Before the player, Khadgar and Chromie fight Kairozdormu's spirit, Chromie preemptively apologizes for all the times you're about to die.
- When Khadgar first upgrades your ring, he asks you to step into a light, which causes your character to get electrocuted and flip over with smoke billowing out of their body. Khadgar apologizes, saying that he forgot to tell you that you'd be "slightly" killed.
- The second time you get your ring upgraded, he assures you that it will only hurt a little bit, but cuts himself off and admits it's going to hurt a lot.
- The completion text for when you deliver him Blackhand's severed arm:
- When fishing in Draenor, you can find different baits for every type of fish. The Fat Sleepers in Nagrand are attracted to sweet foods, so what do you use as bait for them? A donut.
- A bit of Black Comedy in Talador's Orunai Coast: at one point, you see some draenei refugees and what appears to be a questgiver named Deceptia, but when you come close they get obliterated by cannon fire and the explosion will launch her out of her boots (which turn into regular boots instead of the ones draenei and tauren wear due to their hooves), which you can add to your Toy Box. Even funnier is that the quest she gives is titled "This Is Not a Quest" (which is impossible to accept in-game).
- Note that the first line of text for the quest is her outright refusing your help and the second is simply a Nelson Muntz-esque "Haha!"
- The Iron Docks gives us Koramar and Zoggosh. As the players progress through the dungeon, they share some pretty hilarious banter. For instance, when releasing the second-to-last boss, Oshir (a saberon), we get this exchange:Zoggosh: Captain, they're almost here! What are we going to do now?!
Koramar: I'm not playing these games anymore. Bring in the saberon and be done with it.
Zoggosh: Uhh... are you sure you want to let that thing out of its cage? I don't we fed it since we found it.
Koramar: Put a muzzle on it!
Zoggosh: Good idea, sir!
Koramar: I didn't mean the cat.
Zoggosh: ... oh.
- The achievement for kicking 100 goren eggs while in Magnarok is appropriately titled "That Was Entirely Unnecessary".
- A Good Bad Bug in Gorgrond occasionally causes a caged NPC to first appear as a forest strider, then turn into a green raptor when you free it.
- Tormak the Scarred is a taunka working in Frostwall's stables. He is not pleased with Frostfire Ridge:Tormak the Scarred: I sought to escape the frozen wastes of Northrend for a while. I chose poorly.
- Kaelynara Sunchaser's notice of termination from Astalor Bloodsworn that you find on her corpse after you kill her is supposed to be a Tear Jerker, but ends up becoming this because of Astalor suggesting that she take up basket weaving and that he does not associate himself with any basket weavers specifically.
- The storyline at Admiral Taylor's garrison is fairly somber for both factions (if not somewhat of an Ass Pull), but if you're playing on Horde the follower you get is a Forsaken death knight that the nearby frenzied ghosts have buried up to his shoulders.You, over there! Mind helping me out of this? Contrary to what these idiots seem to believe I am in fact not dead yet. Not in that sense of the word at least.
- When turning in a quest to Lady Claudia, she says, "I hope you're toting a cannon and some balls." This is even funnier if your character happens to be female.
- The Lunarfall Inn and Frostwall Tavern bring back some familiar NPCs with appropriate quests. One of them is Cro Threadstrong from Shattrath back in Outland, who is apparently still not over Granny Smith accidentally leaving her apple cart in front of his leatherworking tent, still doesn't know it's her cart, and is still convinced she has an ogre army, so he asks you to bring him the head of a Bloodmaul ogre from the Bloodmaul Slag Mines believing that it will result in the "army" never being formed; he doesn't realize that your actions on Draenor don't affect Outland in the present.
- When you have the ogre head in your inventory while in the instance you can also wear it, and since ogres are huge compared to the playable races it looks disproportionate on your head to the point that you have to see through its mouth.
- Moroes from Karazhan makes an appearance, saying that he wants a way to finally die but will settle for a solution for removing the scuff marks that the player and their friends left behind in the dining hall, "whereupon they barely had enough time to irreparably damage the priceless furniture".
- In Sabermaw when you're helping the Steamwheedle Preservation Society after their convoy is attacked by saberon, you meet a goblin boy who asks you to help him recover his stolen treasure, which turns out to be his goblin pin-up calendars. And in the completion text, he tells you that "[he's] got to do...things and...stuff." Gee, what could he possibly be talking about?
- In Nagrand, when you speak to Aggra about why she is there, she replies that she and Thrall had a talk about it and she "put him on his place on the matter." From what it seems, it is implied that Aggra and Thrall had an argument and she delivered quite "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Thrall. What makes it even more funny and meaningful was that earlier, Thrall's own mother asked why his own mate is not fighting alongside him in Draenor; We may not have seen it, but watching Green Jesus getting humbled for that would have been priceless.
- In Stormshield, an attempt to flirt Goes Horribly Wrong:Private Tristan: I'm almost done with my shift. You want to grab a steak over at Elton Black's place? I hear he kills the cow right in front of you so that you know it's fresh.Daana Leafwhisper: You know I'm a vegetarian, right?
- The commentators in The Ring of Trials and later the first section of Highmaul, Jhorn the Mad and Thoktar Ironskull. Notably, Jhorn speaks exactly like John Madden.
- When a Horde player first arrives at Frostfire Ridge and brings in Gazlowe to build their garrison, Khadgar questions Thrall on why he chose a goblin to be his foreman. Thrall reasons that Gazlowe oversaw the reconstruction of Orgrimmar and Gazlowe refers to it as "The impenetrable fortress" before Khadgar points out that it was sacked in the previous expansion. Gazlowe immediately grumbles that Khadgar brings up 'one little sacking.'
- When you arrive in Nagrand as a Horde player, one of the first quests tasks you with setting up your base, but your peons (the same ones from the Valley of Trials) are being lazy bastards and doing all sorts of things instead of working; fishing, flirting with a blood elf, etc. To motivate them, you have to kick them in the face, and you can continue doing so after the quest is completed.
- Your arakkoa followers have no animation for sitting in chairs but will attempt to use them anyway, so when they do they'll freeze, then occasionally enter their eating animation.
- Your stables house all of your mounts that you've marked as favorites, including your vehicle mounts such as the Warlord's Deathwheel. All of your mounts will sometimes move a few feet, so on occasion you can see your vehicles drive themselves.
- The same thing happens with the pets; inanimate ones like the Pandaren kites will randomly roam the garrison.
- On rare occasions, your Barracks bodyguard will comment on certain events. If you have Delvar Ironfist as your bodyguard when you meet Ka'alu:Delvar Ironfist says: By all that is unholy, what is that thing?
- Some of the things your followers say to you in your garrison will raise some eyebrows."Doc" Schweitzer: "Commander, I'd like to formally apologize for last night's wet-tabard contest."Kaz the Shrieker: "When you die, may I wear your skull?"note
- While most followers join the player out of gratitude and/or respect for their deeds, Kaz the Shrieker has a very different reason.Kaz: "Commander, you go where you will and kill any who would stand in your way. I find this fun."
Limbflayer: "No one blows up MY village! Nobody! Except maybe Kaz. But nobody else!"
- Comments by other NPCs further show how unstable/dangerous Kaz is.
- The mission descriptions for many naval missions contain much snark. A sampling from Alliance missions is listed below:The Burning Glacier: Yes, it's constantly snowing here, but it also has volcanic activity. No, it's never a comfortable temperature. Look, you're not going ashore anyway.
It's All the Rage: Orcish cloth armor is just as soft and comfortable as ours. Tell your magi they will seize and wear this cargo. No exceptions, gnomes. Make it work.
Far Too Many Notes: Our spies have noted regular supply shipments to Wor'gol via the Southwind Cliffs. The Horde hasn't noted our noting them. We've noted that, too.
A Journey, Not a Destination: This Alliance carrier is heading for Stormshield with fresh troops and supplies. But it's a long journey between Shadowmoon Valley and Ashran.
- Not to be outdone, the Horde descriptions are also heavy on snark and Take Thats.
Mayhem by the Moonlit Shore: Horde vessels wanted for Alliance raid. Must love plunder and long walks on the beach. High tolerance for the colors blue and violet a plus.
Made for Walking: If we steal Alliance-bound boots, and a barefoot Alliance mage trips and dies, would that count as a Horde victory? Why, yes. Plus, hey, new boots.
- For both sides, when building a ship the name and crew are randomly assigned from a pool. Very rarely the assigned crew turns out to be Murlocs resulting in the Submarine Brgrggrgl Mark II and the Destroyer Mrgrggrgl Mark II.
- Very, very rarely, it's possible to build a carrier named the "Master's Call". Why is this funny? Because for the legendary ring questline, you needed to attack and loot Gul'dan's flagship... named the "Master's Call". Leading to the implication that not only did you attack his ship, you jacked his ride and just took the whole ship with you.
- One of the Alliance Garrison Campaign missions is you rescuing Thaelin from Iron Horde captivity in Frostfire Ridge, and in that time he's built a dwarven golem suit in a parody of the opening of Iron Man note . When you've escaped, Thaelin tries to remotely send the golem back to the garrison. It's laying on its back and he starts the rocket boots, at which point it plows into the wall of the cave and explodes.
- In Hellfire Citadel two demons are tormenting Draenei prisoners by playing golf. Specifically, they're using the Draenei as golf balls.
- In Blackrock Foundry, one of the bosses is a team of orcs named Hans'gar and Franzok. They do The Ahnold voice, and when aggroed, they announce they are going to "pump you up". They do several other Hans and Franz quotes during the fight.
- In your garrison, there's an outhouse. You can use it and earn an achievement and a move speed buff. The buff's name? "Relieved".
- One of the bonus missions in Gorgond you can do has the objective listed as "Thorny Leafling punted". Bonus points that upon punting, the leaflings die when they hit the ground.
- One of the possible items in the True Steel Lockbox is... a True Steel Lockbox. Worth a few chuckles if the drop system drops another one inside another lockbox.
- The "choice" that is offered you near the end of the legendary ring questline, when an obviously demonically influenced Cordana demands that you hand over the ring:Cordana: Yes, your ring. THE ring! The one Khadgar has been cooking up for you since we arrived on Draenor. Give it here. I just want to borrow it...
Choice 1: No.
Choice 2: Oh, HELL no!
- In a unique twist, the Battlemasters for Ashran are members of your opposing faction, wearing Hallows End masks of your faction's races and "subtly" goading you into entering the battlefield.
- In Nagrand, there's a rare mob called Netherspawn. When killed, it gives you a battle pet... called "Netherspawn, spawn of Netherspawn"."This slime has a long and confusing lineage."
- If you build a Tavern in the Spires of Arrak, you can encounter a soldier so drunk off their ass that they openly brag about selling intel to the rival faction. Your response? Dryly state that you don't care due to the peace treaty between Varian and Vol'jin.
- In the Hunter class changes preview, under the ability "Lacerate" was a developer comment: We promise it will do good damage!
- In the new Orgrimmar Offensive achievement, Saurfang must be beat. The text:Achievement: Damage High Overlord Saurfang until he humors you by pretending to die.
- Every artifact grants you a special ability and gives a description for it. Except the Brewmaster artifact.Grants you the Flaming Keg ability, which does exactly what you think it will do.
- Demon Hunter Starting Zone:
- You find a Legion tome of power, and use it to teach yourselves and other Illidari the Metamorphosis skill, and at the same time lock in your specialization for the rest of the zone. One of them yells at you - too late - that he cannot contain the power. Prior experience with Demon Hunters would lead the player to assume that his inner demon would take control. Instead, he explodes into green mist. And the other Illidari's reaction is best summed up as "Oops. Oh well. Moving on! (And that will be all for now.)"
- The Shivarra lampshade the oddity of them willingly working for demon hunters despite being demons themselves.Yes, I'm on your side. It's complicated. Because... reasons.
- The Naga allies who just got away from the Hand of Gul'dan, a fel-tainted volcano are... less than impressed with their new surroundings.
- Poke them enough and the Naga will ask a rather interesting question.
- Pre-Legion Patch:
- During the pre-launch invasions, an NPC shouts orders throughout the zone to indicate new events triggering and offer encouragement. Trade Prince Gallywix treats the defending players as his employees/slaves who are taking too long getting rid of some annoying vagrants. He even declares he plans to bill the players for the damage they inflicted driving off the demons.
- During the Broken Shore questline, Varian tells Mekkatorque to signal the gunship. Mekkatorque's ways of signaling it? Blowing the face off a demon.Varian: Mekkatorque, call in the gunship, we finish this now!
Mekkatorque: Way ahead of you, sir! Transangulating our position right now! Hahah!
- In the Horde starting area for this questline a pair of goblins are looking at a building-sized mobile mine being worked on by Underpaid Engineers.Goblin: There is NO WAY this is a bad idea.
- Doomsayers appeared around the capital cities, wearing warlock gear and placards. They shout about the approaching and cheerfully offer pamphlets which range from deranged praise of the Legion to cheerful advice.
- After Argus appeared in the skies Validated Doomsayers reappear in Dalaran, with some just admiring the new sight.
- Class Order Halls:
- There is a mission you can rarely get in your Order Hall called "It's so FLUFFY!" where you acquire Corgnelius, the regal sabel corgi pup. What trials must you beat to accomplish this? The pet battle trainer also gunning for him (an actual Battle Pet opponent in Dalaran), Winsor the Battle-Corgi (who is also a lethal hazard that will kill your troops) and Overwhelming Cuteness (which is a disorienting effect).
- "Friends, Not Food" has your champions fighting a demonic pet tamer who eats his pets and personally fights (and eats) other tamers' pets. His minion you have to fight is Dr. Fluffington.
- Death Knight:
- When Nazgrim and Thassarian arrive to help fight Rakeesh, Thassarian apologizes for their tardiness as Nazgrim insisted on strangling every demon they came across and now Thassarian is having second thoughts about letting him become a Horseman.
- Demon Hunter:
- The various class halls have training dummies to test their damage-dealing, healing and tanking. What do demon hunters and warlocks have? Chained up rebellious demons.
- Loramus Thalipedes and Razelikh, a demon hunter and a dreadlord from one questline in post-Cataclysm Blasted Lands, reappear early during the demon hunter campaign, where it's revealed that they now share a body after Loramus managed to join his soul with Razelikh's while the latter's body was reconstituting in the Twisting Nether. Their struggles for control while they're restrained in the lower level are periodically broadcast across the ship.
- Hunter: Trueshot Lodge has a number of in-jokes linked to the long and contested history of the class.
- A pair of goblins are arguing as they've lost track of their camouflage unit. They're going to have to make some modifications to it in the future.
- An Orc in vanilla-era gear admits to drinking mana potions and feels no shame; the class used to be mana spenders.
- The walls of the lodge are decorated with a wide variety of weapons. Two NPCs are discussing them and one asks which are used by hunters; the other responds all weapons are hunter weapons.
- There's an elf who leads a group calling themselves the Hunters of Death, and he himself is named Death Hunter. If you talk to him at first he starts going into a diatribe about his group and their nature, when your character has the option to poke at him. It takes hilariously little effort to make him shrink and sheepishly admit that he and his buddies just started a group of angsty brooding hunters because they really like the Dark Rangers and want to emulate them note .
- If you buy thirteen black roses from Death Hunter and give them to the Dark Ranger he's crushing on, she, of course, is baffled by his interest, given she is an undead abomination incapable of positive emotions and asks you let him down easy. He immediately assumes the Ranger is holding out for you instead. And then she makes the mistake of giving him a completely platonic gift as thanks for the roses, which he obviously takes as proof he has a chance.
- A Beastmaster offers sage advice, such as not being afraid as the beast will smell it on you. Or smell like sausage, in which case you'll get mauled.
- During the Titanstrike questline, Mimiron repeatedly calls Grif Wildheart, the hunter trainer from Kharanos, Bronzebeard, mistaking him for Brann, to Grif's continued annoyance and attempts to correct him. Then when you reach Thorim, he also mistakes Grif for Brann, by which point Grif gives up trying to correct the watchers.
- A chewed-up book about hunters being useful is "heavily patched" but still unreadable.
Aluneth: [when the player creates food] The very power of the ancient titans are at your command, and you choose to create... tasty treats?
- During the Arcane artifact quest you meet up with none other than Azuregos. On first meeting, he tells the player that if they're here to steal treasure, like most mortals who he meets, you're out of luck because they've already been stolen. Throughout the quest he continues to show the kind of wry, world-weary sense of humor that made him popular in the past.
- Aluneth periodically pipes up with comments on the player's actions and location. He's not exactly thrilled about his current wielder.
- During the Legionfall Champion quest line, the player can ask Arcanist Ryanna how she met the Archmage Aethas Sunreaver. Apparently she discovered him, stripped completely nude while a harpy and banshee argued over who got to have him first. Aethas is understandably more reluctant to give details.
- Due to a Good Bad Bug during the Monk intro, in a scene where Chen Stormstout is supposed to tell Master Hight that the player arrived in time to help hold down the monastery, the chat log has him thanking himself instead.Chen Stormstout: It was all thanks to Chen Stormstout, who arrived just in time to help us out.
- While doing the Monk's class mount quest, you stop briefly at Neverest Basecamp in Kun-Lai Summit. While there, you meet a Grummle named Smelly Mountaintop. His backpack is on fire. He's opting to leave it that way. Why? He explains that he was Born Unlucky so he knows that if he tries to put the fire out something else unlucky will happen in the process, maybe even something worse. He sends you on a quest to retrieve his stolen luckydo but, upon your return, he tells you that nothing bad has happened while the backpack was on fire and that he is now declaring the flaming backpack his new luckydo. You get to keep his old one.
- While stomping out remnants of the Sha of Anger in Shado-Pan Monastery, you get a debuff named "Angry Feet". Build up enough anger on your feet and they get so angry they expel all the residue which becomes a bigger sha for you to fight.Angry Feet: There's leftover sha residue clinging to your feet. Your feet are not pleased.
- Due to a Good Bad Bug during the Monk intro, in a scene where Chen Stormstout is supposed to tell Master Hight that the player arrived in time to help hold down the monastery, the chat log has him thanking himself instead.
- As you progress through the order hall campaign, you recruit a... very unusual champion. He's a HOLY DREADLORD... or at least, a member of the Nathrezim who didn't accept Sargeras's offer and fights against him. That's not really the funny bit. The funny bit is that, while he literally radiates holy light, he apparently hasn't changed from the typical uniform... which consists of the shapes of lots of skulls molded into his armor.
- Once the Broken Shore campaign reaches a certain point, you're able to recruit an additional champion for all classes; pallies can get an extra one if they quested through Un'Goro. Remember Maximillian of Northshire? He's back... and just as crazed as ever. He mentions slaying some vicious demons while armed only with a stick; the player responds with "what, you mean those two crabs?", after which he chides you for being unable to recognize demons. Of course, because you are his squire, you have to run menial tasks for him, like recovering his armor after his shipwreck note , rank up enough become a "Squire, First Class" note by slaying more "demons", recover his artifact weapon "Excaliburto" note complete with watching him get a toast, like the player character, go to Dalaran to save his beloved Doloria note from her "hostage situation" note by going and fighting elite Ettins south of Thunder Totem to recover her jewelery note as ransom, only to come back and be unable to recognize Doloria because she's wearing a cheap Hallow's End Troll mask and calling herself "Doloris". After all that, and a little bit of asking the room if they've seen "Doloria" while everyone makes fun of him and you, he tells you that you will join him as his champion, and he will send you off on missions and you will fight at his side. At which point, yes, you finally can recruit him.
- If you return Excaliberto before his armor, Maximillian does his toast in pink boxers.
- A trio of shaman initiates can show up in the Heart of Azeroth. The goblin will gush about fire while the Draenei asks if you can make an ice cream elemental.
- Morgl the Oracle, a Murloc from Hearthstone, appears rarely and will dispense words of wisdom... in unintelligible Murloc gurgles. If you can work out which weapon he's interested in and loan it to him, he'll flail about a bit while chanting in gurgles and give you a small power boost... or he can just smack it against a few rocks, having no idea what he's doing.
- The Sea Giant Grash from one of the Shaman quests can appear in the quest hall where a female Pandaren tries to teach him how to dance. He wants to yell that you're the best shaman to people whose ships he's tearing apart. You can tell him to do that, which makes him happy and the Pandaren disapproving.
- In one quest that randomly pops up, you notice that a stockpile of Earthen Ring supplies has been rummaged through, and have reason to suspect that it was the work of the Grimtotem tribe because one of their members is nearby still stealing from it.
- In the Warlock version of the Light's Heart sub-quest chain, your servants are... less than thrilled at the idea of keeping the inert core of the Naaru prime, one of the holiest objects in the universe, in Dreadscar Rift. Especially notable because this is the only time any NPC in any order hall reacts to Light's Heart being placed.Dreadscar Archivist: "Uh...master/mistress....Is this a prank? Am I being pranked? Very funny, master/mistress! This isn't a joke? B...But this is the heart of evil and darkness in the universe! Surely, you can't be serious!"
- Unlike every other class whose followers eagerly come to help you, Ritssyn is rather annoyed Calydus followed him. In between Velen declaring that they must kill Rakeesh and demanding you spare him, he mutters how awkward the situation is.
- In the Warlock version of the Light's Heart sub-quest chain, your servants are... less than thrilled at the idea of keeping the inert core of the Naaru prime, one of the holiest objects in the universe, in Dreadscar Rift. Especially notable because this is the only time any NPC in any order hall reacts to Light's Heart being placed.
Tethys: No worries. So long as you don't insult my face.
- Tess Greymane mentions how tired she was getting of Tethys's ugly mug then offers an awkward "no offense".
- In the Broken Shore campaign quests, after the first chain, Tethys' parrot Crackers declares him a lame pirate and joins you as a companion pet. When next you see Tethys in the questline, he has a little hozen on his shoulders named Nanners. When asked "What's with the hozen?", he declares he can't be a successful pirate captain without a matey and birds have proven too disloyal.
- There is a vendor who will sell, among other things, "Zanzil's Slow Poison". "A slow poison that kills any who drink it after a week. Completely incurable." Its only purpose is for players to use it. It's not as incurable as claimed, but if left alone it will kill you in seven days - by doing fifty million points of damage to your character.
- A pair of NPCs you encounter, Kallistia Starlance and her brother Olothil, are Night Elf mages searching Nar'thalas Academy for the spirits of their parents. As part of the search, you hunt down tomes for Kallistia and scrying tools for her brother. Upon finding the tomes, which detail how Farondis tried and failed to defy Azshara, Kallistia gets very excited explaining what she's found to her brother.Kallistia Starlance: Get a load of this, brother! Remember how Queen Azshara was working with the demons? Well apparently, when Prince Farondis found out, he was like... (throws a fireball at Olothil) "NO!" ...and then Queen Azshara was like... (throws a fireball at Olothil) "HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!?" ...and then she got so mad that she turned everbody into... into... (casts Polymorph on Olothil) CURSED SPIRITS! Oh, sorry. (Olothil returns to normal and Olothil silently returns to his work as if nothing happened)
- Later, when you find the parents, the wife fireballs her husband in her excitement at being able to see her children again.
- A sleeping male student pleads with the Headmistress to not use the paddle. You also steal his robes and wear them... despite the fact that they're transparent.
- One short questline requires you to make a contract with a demon (specifically, the imp Daglop). Naturally, you have to sign in blood. The funny part is that you can read the contract before signing it. The print size gets smaller and smaller, until it turns too small to read for mortal eyes halfway through page 4. However, what takes the cake is the follow-up quest, which has you gathering materials for a ritual while Daglop rides on your shoulders.
- A Brick Joke comes up on the Broken Shore later on, where a demonic portal attuned to you shows up, as part of a daily quest. Turns out that Daglop has become the demonic equivalent of a Demonology Warlock, and is summoning you to help him take out stronger foes among the demons! And he feeds you "Champion Chow" to power you up. When Khadgar learns about this, he is mildly interested in the idea.
- The quest Eye See You and its follow-up, They're Doing It Wrong. Basically, you have to scout a demon-controlled area, with a warlock commenting on the sloppy work done by the demons. To quote "Why? Why would demons, of all things, be this bad at summoning their own kind?" The warlock comments such shoddy workmanship makes him feel physical pain, which being undead he hasn't actually felt in decades.
- Said warlock and the demon hunter who decided to keep a wary eye on him show up in multiple places in the zone, and one spot in all the others. They're basically Bill & Ted if they had awesome magical powers... so of course you have to keep bailing them out of trouble.
- The Court of Farondis was cursed to linger as ghosts ten thousand years ago but one of them manages to break free. How? He made a really great cocktail. Nobody else can quite believe it was a "lush" like him who figured out a cure. And since he didn't write everything down, several world quests have you gathering ingredients to have a cocktail party in the hopes the rest can figure the mix out.
Lady Irisse says: Aldryth. You weren't out consorting with that servant girl, were you?
- Meta NPC logic in this one... the three quests you first get in this area are 'Please save us from this curse', 'Find our elder who disappeared while taking a walk ten thousand years ago', and 'Make me a drink'.
- Finding the elder is amusing in its own way. This ghost managed to get pinned beneath a column for ten thousand years. On top of that the quest giver snarks that he was probably "out visiting that little common girl he fancies so much." Upon completion, this exchange ensues:
Elder Aldryth says: What? No, of course not!
Elder Aldryth: (Beat)
Elder Aldryth says: I was visiting a different girl.
- Naga are besieging a city belonging to the Court of Farondis alongside their murloc slaves. Apparently inspired by the naga using ballista and lumbering brutes to tear down the stone structures, the murlocs are trying to do the same with somewhat less success. Those near the brutes beat their spears against pieces of debris while those near ballista grab fish from the water, run to the wall, and throw them.
- In the Eye of Azshara dungeon, the most reviled enemy is... the lowly, non-hostile seagull due to its stun causing tanks to lose aggro on more dangerous enemies. While amusing on its own, Blizzard noticed and ran with it.
A Seagull: *SQUAK*... Everything!
- Weekly events have a screenshot of players engaged in the relevant activity. For Legion Dungeon bonus week, the image is epic geared players cowering in fear from a lone seagull.
- The Brawler's Guild has a random encounter with "a Seagull", which has the title "The Real End Boss". It has the Fury of Gul'dan buff which reads "You have angered the seagull. This is an error. Damage inflicted increased by 100%. Forever. Or, at least, until you're dead."
- A pair of NPCs you encounter, Kallistia Starlance and her brother Olothil, are Night Elf mages searching Nar'thalas Academy for the spirits of their parents. As part of the search, you hunt down tomes for Kallistia and scrying tools for her brother. Upon finding the tomes, which detail how Farondis tried and failed to defy Azshara, Kallistia gets very excited explaining what she's found to her brother.
- One of the items sold by Hobart Grapplehammer is a "Twirling Bottom" Repeater, named so because the term "Twisting Nether" was copyrighted.
- In something that will very likely be patched out, an instanced scenario quest has you reliving the first Legion invasion as Huln Highmountain and finding out such things as why the Highmountain Tauren have antlers instead of horns. The funny part that will likely be fixed is that the probably-should-be-solo instance... isn't. Thus, you get to be one of literally hundreds of Hulns roaring, charging, and flailing about the quest area.
- The scenario is also used for a world quest that spawns players as any number of other fighters. The resulting flood of players is so severe the demons rarely get more than a few feet from the portal and carpet the floor. Why was the Legion such a threat again?
- Among the Highmountain Tauren vendors is Kurd Butterhoof. And her "homemade" milks and cheeses.
- On the eastern cliffs there is the Prepfoot Compound where a group of Tauren, foreseeing the end of the world, have begun storing supplies and preparing for what's to come. Namely by wearing fish hats to blend in when the world sinks beneath the waves and stocking up on milk, bananas, and unsalted meat. The salt makes it spoil faster. Also, their leader is preparing this after predicting the return of Deathwing who is Deader Than Dead after Cataclysm. He thinks the Legion is just a distraction.
- The innkeeper invites you to set your hearth at their compound and stay there. And join them. Join them.
- Among the drogbar the term "brul" appears to mean "person", such as a Brewbrul being a brewer and a Fishbrul being a fishmonger. In Stonedark there are Dudebruls, in reference to the "dude bro" stereotype, who walk around pumping weights and one who bumps fists with you. The leader of their little group is Damrul the Stronk with the quest "You Lift, Brul?"
- Legion's Steamy Romance Novel has Marcus being seduced by a Highmountain tauren. And her husband. This time however, you get to witness the direct aftermath of the novel's contents in the tent next to the Used Totem Vendor's on the outskirts of Thunder Totem.
- After the serious revelation that Ebonhorn is a purified black dragon, Mayla has this to say. "Well that explains how he never got older. Well he was always old but he never changed."
- In Neltharion's Lair, Navarogg tells the adventurers and Ebonhorn to take the barrels down the river while he holds off the other drogbar. Ebonhorn's response? "No, I won't be doing that."
- After you defeat Naraxas, you then have to go down the hole beneath her to proceed to the final confrontation with Dargrul. As you're examining the boss's quote and presumably wondering where you'll find your loot, Ebonhorn tells you, "I am sorry, heroes. It appears the treasure you seek will be found on the 'other' end of this beast." It seems as though he's well aware of how many times you've had to look through poop for quest items.
- In one questline, you must enter a cave full of kobolds. In order to do that, you have to kill one of their leaders and take the skull that he wears on his head, because skulls are signs of leadership among the kobolds and they're stupid enough to blindly follow anyone wearing it. Like a previous quest, the gatekeeper in the cave tells you to give out quests to your subordinates. Every time you talk to one, you're given two dialogue options, one written normally and the other emulating the kobolds' Hulk Speak; picking the former will confuse them.
- The quest right after that is the kobolds turning their quests in; the one you sent to gather gold gets to keep one piece and you keep the rest, the one you sent to kill the biggest basilisk in the cave gets a boot that he wears as a hat, and the one you sent to mine got killed by a cave-in.
- The buff for wearing the skull is "Friends for Life (Okay, Neutrals)".
- One vignette mob encounter is triggered by grabbing a pile of gold with a sign reading "Definitely not a trap.", which is a trap set up by a group of adventurers who try to kill you for your gear. Like the P.U.G. example above, they're stereotypes of the typical uncoordinated PUG; upon death, the mage blames the paladin, the hunter complains that he got no healing, the priest refuses to take responsibility for their inability to heal, the rogue wonders how you saw him, and the paladin says that he shouldn't have let the hunter pull.
- Up north, you can find King Mrgl-Mrgl, and with him his apprentice: Murky. Yes. That Murky. The questline that follows sees you building up the little guy to become leader of his own tribe, culminating in mind-melding with him to wipe out the resident makrura so they have a place to live and grow.
- There is an escort quest in Thunder Totem where you have to lead an elderly tauren lady to see her daugther, son-in-law and baby grandson. Her hearing and sight are not good, so she can't follow you if you stray even a bit too far away, and she moves at walking pace, so you have to walk very slowly for her to move. At some point you two are attacked by a giant bird; but before you have a chance of targeting and attacking it back, the frail granny just shoos it away effortlessly!
- Even funnier, a joke by the Highmountain Tauren players reveals she's actually quite fast and just walks slowly to troll tourists.
- During the main quest a group of tauren are impaled with giant stone shards and petrified. Their bodies remain afterward when visiting the cave, including during a world quest where you disguise yourself as a drogbar. A drogbar standing near the bodies complains that it was a really impressive display of the Underking's power, but it's also a giant pain in the ass for him to clean up.
- In the Horde intro, you're sent to kill two disguised SI:7 agents living among the local ravenbears. One is a druid whose moonkin form has attracted unwanted attention from a particularly amorous ravenbear, the other is wearing a very unconvincing disguise consisting of two shoulder pads and a headband with antlers.
- If you kill the druid before the ravenbear, it triggers Heartbroken Frenzy with the animation of a heart shattering above its head.
- After taking a quest from friendly tauren traders, you return to find goblins obviously looting their camp but accept the claims that it's all honest business while they keep an eye on things. Over the next few quests where they alternately use you to gather items to sell and kill you against powerful foes you're "rewarded" with mysterious but "high quality" items. At then end while they heckle you and fly away you can identify the items as everything from a scrap of an old shirt to a vial of goblin urine.
- Like the Chamber of Whispers example above, there's Aggramar's Vault. Once you step inside the ruins, the statues instantly zap you to death. It doesn't stop players on trying to go in when they aren't supposed to!
- Another area this happens in is Helheim. After a few quests, you're supposed to sneak past Guarm. It doesn't stop multiple players littering their corpses in front of it!
- One world quest has you attending the wake of a recently deceased Jarl. The party involves throwing around plates of food, picking fights with the vrykul, getting drunk, throwing food while drunk, beating up vrykul while drunk, getting really drunk, kicking around some wolpertingers, and drinking. Oh yeah, you might want to pay your respects to the Jarl while you're there (drunkenness not required). Once you complete the event, Odyn thanks you for showing up, and suggests you leave before you party yourself to death.
- The vrykul have varying responses to your presence, from mild bewilderment to idly calling you (and your hands) tiny.
- Runetotem Calves have a special ability to summon adults to their aid. Its name? Heartbreaking Bleat, You Monster!
- If you are a night elf, Huginn and Muninn don't like you. The story behind this is revealed in the Rogue questline: they don't like you because Lord Ravencrest tricked them into trading the magical Raven's Eye artifact in exchange for candy. After that they don't trust night elves.
- In the Horde intro, you're sent to kill two disguised SI:7 agents living among the local ravenbears. One is a druid whose moonkin form has attracted unwanted attention from a particularly amorous ravenbear, the other is wearing a very unconvincing disguise consisting of two shoulder pads and a headband with antlers.
- During the Archdruid of the Claw mini-questline, you approach one of Archdruid Koda Steelclaw's disciples, who is tending to another bear druid with an arrow stuck in them from the furbolgs.Rylissa Bearsong: This wouldn't have happened if your backside weren't so... <ahem>... GENEROUS.
- One of the World Quests is called "Aw, Nuts!", which involves you in cracking a few nuts and capturing invading squirrels in the area. It's quite humorous, seeing tens or hundreds of players racing each others to squirrels or nuts, as if they're taking a break from fighting the Legion to have some fun. Also, when you finish the quest, Celestine of the Harvest says: "That squirrel invasion was nuts. Get it?"
- Like the Runetotem Calves, Ashmaw Cubs have the ability Call Mommy!
- During the Archdruid of the Claw mini-questline, you approach one of Archdruid Koda Steelclaw's disciples, who is tending to another bear druid with an arrow stuck in them from the furbolgs.
- For a quest, you must attend a masquerade and subtly influence dissent among the Nightborne elite. Naturally, you're terrible at acting natural. To make it even better, one of the possible things you can say to the guests is "How do you do, fellow Nightborne?"
- A dwarf being held captive by the Legion asks you find a key which was eaten by a felhound. Usually you'd kill them until one drops it but it ate the key a while back, resulting in the obligatory poop searching quest. The fun doesn't end there as when you go to find his friend's remains you end up finding the friend alive and well who proceeds to ask what's with all the bones. He guesses the dwarf thought they were his and points out one wasn't even human.
- Tucked in a random corner of the wilderness is a brief questline. You help a young man find a gift for the lady he's courting and help make it perfect, but when he presents it and asks for her father's blessing he is angrily denied. You both return later to find that the family has been kidnapped by the local spider-elves. He frees them with your help and, finally having earned the parents' respect and approval, he and his ladyfriend run off happily ever after. Why is this funny? All of these people are murlocs, rendering all dialogue and quest text in unintelligible mrrrglmrglglmlrgls. You quest objectives are a string of question marks, and half of the questline consists of the boy murloc gesturing and mrrrgglling wildly, desperate for you to understand his requests, while you the player try random and sometimes humiliating things attempting to figure out what he wants, all while he is baffled by your stupidity. The father murloc has a big bushy mustache.
- The murloc questgiver will react to some of your choices with complete bewilderment. From his perspective, he asked for a pearl and you gave him some driftwood instead; he's no doubt questioning your sanity.
- A child turns himself invisible... or tries to. He turns dark blue and glowy and gets the buff "Invisibility?" with the description "Totally invisible".
- A quest chain ends with the player killing the "alpha" of a devilsaur named Graedis Oenthar who is subsequently eaten by it while commenting she's a clever girl. You then go on a rampage riding her back, during which you can hear comments from the Nightborne commenting that they're all going to die and they hate it when they're right. Better yet, it ends up being a repeatable world quest!
- The bickering between Arcanist Valtrois and Stellagosa during the "Insurrection" storyline. It begins with outright hostility, since this isn't the first time Nightfallen elves have tried to tap the Azsuna ley lines. Valtrois's insistence that it's Not What It Looks Like falls flat as she realizes mid-sentence that it's exactly what it looks like, since you're trying to redirect the leylines to your allied Nightfallen's base to feed refugees. When Stellagosa agrees to help, the two of them proceed to bicker back and forth about where to put the ley line taps (to the point the taps start switching places with the player only being able to watch). By the end of it all, they've earned one another's respect and become Vitriolic Best Buds. The questline ends with them flying off together, Valtrois asking questions about just how Stellagosa's inherent ability to perceive ley lines works.
- The Night Elves and Blood Elves are working together to battle the Nightborne with gritted teeth. They vent their frustrations by leaving prank items in each other's camps which are worth a chuckle, as are the various elves sputtering at them.
- "We found your mounts..." - a hutch of chicken eggs, in reference to Blood Elves riding chocobo expies.
- "Didn't want you to get the shakes" - a mana potion for the recovering mana addicts.
- "Replacement Sunwell" - Sunwell, now in convenient can form!
- "Just wanted you to feel at home, mon" and "Your Ancestors" - Troll items referring to Night Elves descending from Trolls.
- By the time you're on "Insurrection" you would've grown tired of hearing "Who goes there?!" and "Something's not quite right..." from the Duskwatch NPCs while disguised in Suramar City. You get a bit of catharsis in a quest titled "Something's Not Quite Right...", where you're given an eye above your head like them and similar disguise-piercing enemies from previous quests and use it to find disguised Nightborne among the elf forces.
- During the first assault on the Nighthold, Elisande makes an appearance and stops the attack with contemptuous ease. You avoid getting caught in her spell and save Khadgar as well... by physically hefting him onto your shoulder and running. In a world full of magical shields and teleportations, it's hilariously unexpected.
- This and another quest in Suramar are especially amusing when your character is a goblin, dwarf, or gnome. The eight foot tall Oculeth in the other quest dangles all the way to the ground, front and back.
- On bringing a set of bendy glass tubes to the alchemist he begins a long-winded explanation of how to fortify them with the breath of a dragon and going to the Emerald Nightmare on a full moon... only to realize they're perfectly fine as they are. He got a little carried away with the adventuring.
- A set of items needs to be acquired from the Black Market, and the price asked? A hair from Khadgar's head. You have to use an invisibility potion to pluck one; when he complains about the pain, Archmage Modera asks him if he wants her to kiss it better.
- Khadgar's hair is a Brick Joke in the entire Alchemy questline - in the first quest, one of the items you have to fetch is a Crate of Khadgar's Whiskers, and the flavor text says it's the flower (a plant that has been in the game since it began), and not Khadgar's facial hair. When you pluck a hair of Khadgar's head, the flavor text says it's not his facial hair - again referencing the flower.
- Transmute recipes allow materials to be converted into something else. One such transmute converts meat into... pants. And can randomly produce Pant Loaf - a meal that looks like a nice pair of pants.
- The Transmutant produced by another transmute recipe has the special attack "Transmute Enemy to On Fire".
As is always the case with letter openers, this is a completely useless tool, kept only as an excuse to have a murder weapon nearby in situations where it would be socially unwise to carry a dagger.
- The description for the Nobleman's Letter Opener:
- An early blacksmithing quest "The Properties of Leystone" has you watch a Dalaran smith, Alard Schmeid, while he works. It ends with a quick cut to the outside other shop, an explosion, and back inside the shop the smith covered in ash.
- The Blacksmithing profession has you take a document to the scribes for translation. The scribe starts to talk in awe of how it's an ancient language unseen in thousands of years... except they're hovering right over a city filled with such works. He translates it without a fetch quest and asks for something more challenging next time.
- The Engineering quest line and items as a whole. The goblins are the driving force but this time they're working with the returning Fargo Flintlocke, resulting in one of the first items learned being head-mounted guns. Because if you can kill with your hands and feet, why's your head sitting around doing nothing?
- Flintlocke sends you to find his friend Lowping who has been enslaved by the naga... so you can shave his head and copy the schematics tattooed on his head. Afterwards Flintlocke laments the tragedies befalling Lowping and wonders if maybe you should have freed him.
- Pallin, as seen elsewhere on this page, is amusingly self-important and condescending. This makes finding out he's reading the smutty Steamy novels all the more amusing. He desperately assures you he's just in it for the beautiful penmanship - the "curvy" B's and "ample" D's.
- A Hunter glyph causes Dire Beast to spawn spiders more often when used. "Why? Because everyone is afraid of spiders."
- The mail leatherworking trainer has misplaced his crowbar that he needs to jimmy open a crate of new wares. Cue annoying Fetch Quest, which turns out to be all for naught as Thanid finds his crowbar a few moments before you walk back in through the front door.
- One quest in Highmountain is to obtain wisdom from the spirits of four master leatherworkers. The first three are tauren, the fourth is a drogbar whose advice is to never work with hides still attached to the animal, especially if it's alive.
- The culmination of the Leatherworking questline is to craft a harness fit for Stormheim's Great Elderhorn Stag: The problem is that you've got to catch it first. The stag leads you on an insanely long and annoying chase throughout the most perilous areas of Stormheim, including down a very tall waterfall. At roughly the midway point, the stag stops at a perilously high drop almost as if considering forcing you make the jump... only to meekly turn around and drag you around the long way.
- After going to every corner of the Broken Isles to fish up every single rare fish the waters have been hiding, you finally fish up some really shiny, luminescent pearl. The quest you get from it tells you to go give it to Khadgar. Khadgar, once you give him the pearl, basically just shrugs, really has no idea what to do with it, and pats you on the head while saying "Good job." That's not an exaggeration, that's literally what he does.
- Khadgar then sends you to a local fisher who has no idea why you'd think she would know anything about the pearl. Her suggestion is to just toss it into the fountain. She's just as baffled and also disgusted when you later bring her the anglerfish-esque lure of a deep murloc, wondering why on Azeroth you thought it would make a good fishing pole.
- Special fish can only be caught with specific lures. While some make a type of sense, there are others such as a stunned shark you have to kill; a rotten fishbone that lures out a cat-form druid; and a sleeping murloc who throws fish everywhere after being slapped awake.
- Conjurer Margoss spends all day fishing on a floating island isolated from the rest of Dalaran. He is accompanied by a mana surge named Blythe who is understandably bored, whispering to nearby players that this isn't what they signed up for and asking you to take them with you.
- The pre-7.2 Obliterum quest started with the player taking dust from a burnt wagon to various professions. The alchemist chews the player out as he (correctly) thinks it has something to do with the smoldering corpse in his doorway.
- CSI: Dalaran continues with harassing the unfortunate cart owner with accusations of being an auction house speculator, to discussing the pile of mysterious dust with the world-renowned scribe, Professor Pallin.Professor Pallin: "Is it an ink?"
Professor Pallin: "Is it a scroll?"
Professor Pallin: "Are you wasting my time?"
Player: "Goodbye, professor."
- Xal'atath wants the player to die. This is proven very much so when you meet Odyn in the Halls of Valor dungeon, when Xal'atath tells you to ask Odyn what Loken's last words to him were. "Go ahead, ask him".Odyn: "How would... you dare mock my imprisonment?! THEN RECEIVE LOKEN'S PUNISHMENT IN HIS STEAD!" *flattens the offending priest*.
- A Druid player was unable to start the Artifact quest chain because he was hated by the Cenarion Circle. See here.
- Before it was changed in 7.1.5, the description for the Frost Death Knight talent Volatile Shielding had this reference to one of Sindragosa's quotes:Your Anti-Magic Shell turns your enemies' pathetic magic against them, absorbing 35% more damage, but generating no Runic Power.
- Khadgar continues his run of wearing the bunny ears as he tries to save Azeroth.
Khadgar: I have a plan. A horribly dangerous plan, but a plan none the less.
- Starting with the quest to summon players to Dalaran before teleporting it to the Broken Isles:
Khadgar: Just...give it a poke or something.
- The Val'sharah starting quest has Khadgar comment about how he has good news and that he's glad absolutely nothing bad will happen when you get there. Cue one of the most emotionally draining and depressing questing zones in the expansion. Thanks for jinxing it, Khadgar.
- While traveling to Azsuna for the first time, Khadgar flies alongside you in his raven form. His stated reason for doing this instead of riding a gryphon like you are:Khadgar: I prefer using the greatstaff Atiesh's raven form. Nothing's worse than saddle sores.
- The Suramar starting quest has Khadgar summon you to the Violet Tower to witness a strange magical orb having appeared out of nowhere. He has no idea what it is or what it does. His sage advice as a learned mage and current leader of the Kirin Tor?
- When helping Vengeance Demon Hunters in their artifact quest, he rifles through a box of belongings. One of them is full of Apexis Crystals. Just what exactly was he using them for if not your ring on Draenor?
- A quest on the Broken Shore calls back to the infamous Apexis Crystal quest, as he claims that he has once again done the math and he needs precisely 2500 Nethershards. When you turn them in, however, he sheepishly admits that he may have gotten a bit carried away... and a single shard is all he actually requires. He asks that you not speak of this again. And your "reward"? 2499 Nethershards.note
- One of the prisoners released to fight players in the Assault on Violet Hold dungeon is Millificent Manastorm, Millhouse Manastorm's wife. Millhouse himself shows up as an astral projection during the fight because "a chilling sense of dread" washed over him, and spends the entire time exchanging insults with her. The best part? Millificent will always manage to escape from the players in the end, presumably to hunt down her husband.Millhouse: You fools! Do you have any idea the evil you've unleashed? Now if you excuse me, I have some unrelated business to attend to.
- The Orc warlock who releases Millificent notes that despite witnessing horrors beyond imagination, rarely has he encountered something as evil and bitter as this gnome.
- If you're a mage or have one in your group, Millhouse mentions that he was chilling on the beach... instead of doing whatever mission you likely had him running.
- Millificent has an achievement title "You're Just Making It WORSE!" achieved by making her really angry. If the players drag the fight out and she'll grow increasingly irritated with Milhouse and the players, becoming first "Cross" and then "Very Cross"; defeating her at that point gives the achievement.
- Alternatively, if any player uses Manastorm's Duplicator she'll immediately get pissed and blast them with a shrink ray. Millhouse finds it very amusing.
- The main story quest 'In the House of Light and Shadow' contains earth-shattering revelations about the Warcraft universe. How does said quest end? With you falling into a coma and being awoken by a druid who was injured in his sea lion form and can't change back. It makes sense when he explains it.
- Said druid is in a bathtub with attached shower and curtain. He really would rather you not mention this to anybody he knows.
- This may be a long callback to vanilla WoW, where a druid shifting into bear form got extra health, that was taken away when shifting back, so if one was badly wounded while in bear form and shifted back before healing, could immediately drop dead.
- The Burning Legion is now recruiting.
- The quest "Destiny Unfulfilled" has the player witness Illidan's defeat in the Black Temple raid from his perspective. The raid is just as fractious as a real life one with a mage attacking before the leader finishes his countdown, people yelling at each other, and Johnny Awesome AFK in the back - the raid leader ignored when somebody pointed that out.
- Inexplicably, Johnny Awesome (who is a Blood Elf) is there even if you're an Alliance character... for some reason.
- Additionally, when the fight starts, the objective is to kill all 25 raiders. Near the end in the phase before Maiev shows up, the max is suddenly down to 23, meaning 2 "players" had left or were booted from the raid mid-fight.
- If you've defeated Illidan in the Black Temple, your character will show up as one of the raiders...and you can immediately kill off your own cameo, with no negative consequences.
- One of the Rogues near the front of the raid group already has one of the Twin Blades of Azzinoth, and is clearly only there to complete the set.
- Really, the fact that you can play Illidan as a full Combat Pragmatist (by ignoring the tank and going after the healers first, for example), breaking the rules of boss fights along the way, is itself rather amusing.
- In the Return to Karazhan instance the cast of the previous plays can be found backstage. The Big Bad Wolf is tired of repeating his famous line, Romulo and Julianne aren't talking due to their show bombing (you can find some really harsh negative reviews as drops), and Roar wants everyone to know his cowardice was solely in-character. Also, the Crone is a diva.
- One of the Opera's plays, Westfall Story, tells the ill-fated love story of two gang members on opposing sides in Westfall. The comedy lies in the fact that while one is a human Defias thug, the other is... a murloc. And yes, all of "her" lines are in standard Murloc gibberish.
- Flame Wreath returns as an attack in Return to Karazhan. Cue people intentionally moving or saying "I will not move when flame wreath is cast or the group blows up".
- The players get shrunk to the size of bugs and land on top of a bookcase. On close examination, the various books that make up the walkway are all the smutty Steamy novel series - apparently Medivh and Aran had other pursuits than magic.
- One of the world bosses is a Sea Giant who really wanted to be a wizard; unfortunately, Sea Giants are about as magically adept as Rincewind - that is to say, not at all. His solution? Grabbing a mage and using him as the wand.
- Broken Shore:
Excavator Karla: How come you like nethershards so much?
- A goblin sends you out treasure hunting, but you keep arriving after the chest has already been looted by a demon. What you bring back to the goblin - a fake diamond, key to the chest you found the key in, a potion of potion drinking - gets snarky comments from her.
- Eventually you bring her an arcane object of immense power only for her to have no idea what it is. She tries using as a paperweight and hitting it on a rock before accidentally binding a demon with it.
- Afterwards she hangs out with the imprisoned demon, who is pissed about the situation and her inane questions.
Treasure Master Iks'reeged: It is a secret long guarded by ancient secret keepers for secret reasons.
Excavator Karla: You don't actually know what they're for, do you?
Treasure Master Iks'reeged: Nope.
- The world quest "Set You Up The Bomb!" has the objective of "Burn all of the things".
- A stampede of felsteeds has the occasional horse zig-zagging across the path. On closer examination there's an imp hanging on to their mane for dear life, legs flying in the air cartoon style.
- The quest related to this is delivering badly needed supplies to forces stranded on the other side of the stampede. Specifically, a keg of booze.
- Dagg returns, hiding in Deliverance Point submerged in a pond with a turtle shell on his head and the buff "Dis Guy's a Turtle".
- The Burning Legion has taken to recruiting Murlocs of all things.Khadgar: Fel... murlocs? Is there any race the Legion won't corrupt?
- Khadgar also tries his best to become a Pungeon Master when finishing World Quests that he gives you. One particular, from quests "Fel Fire and Ice" has him say this:Khadgar: Ha! Smoked them! Will I be fired for this? Well, one has to keep up one's spirits somehow.
- Tehd Shoemaker is back, having hijacked a Legion portal to his own ends."So, this is where these infernal pickpockets take their trinkets. Well, while we're here, we may as well get some of it back. I've made you a theft/shopping list of things to go get. This would be the part where some magic wielding illusionist tries to make you look like one of them. Bah! Illusions. No commitment. I am going to TRANSFORM you into one of these things. How is your method acting?"How did you beat me through the portal?
"Because I know more about demonic travel than you. Get better."
Syaith: "I am so cold. Would you be a dear and set yourself on fire for me?"
- Tehd is also accompanied by a succubus who complains about the cold and who accompanies you as a Loaner Demon.
- Armorcrafters with an 800 skill level can learn how to create their own Legendary armor from a questgiver, "Eliezer Hammerbeard <Fashion Historian>". But first, you have to sit through his speech on his "philosophy of style". Your character starts out bored, gets a little weirded out, and ends up more and more fed up with him as he blathers on."I have some news for you, <player>, everything you've learned about your profession to this point was child's play. There was no challenge to it, no fashion, no style, no grace! Now, I am not merely a Fashion Historian, young <race>, and - I don't mind admitting - something of a style icon in these parts."
"My patented Hammerbeard System of Style and Taste is a natural philosophy of flair. Impeccably researched, finely tuned, and well tested by yours truly, the HSST philosophy will be underlying apparatus of your education. The dangers will be many, <player>, but the rewards are beyond your current capacity to understand!"
"Your hands - delicate but powerful, hardened by battle yet skilled - are the only hands that you should trust to create garments or armor worthy of a hero. Many of the legends of yore that you read of as a child were somewhat lackadaisical with spell and sword but how they dressed - oh how they dressed! This is why we speak of them still. Few know this and now you are one of them!"
You've thought a lot about my hands.
"Nevermind that! Think instead of the wasted potential of what you have made thus far! It isn't your fault, though you've certainly concentrated on deeds and functionality over style. Under the HSST system, you will remedy these failings and perhaps, at last, have a chance at actually becoming a legend. The road is hard and full of peril."
Are you wrapping this up soon?
"The impatience of youth. A craftsperson is only as good as his or her materials and the - let's face it - garbage you've been using thus far is a core reason why you look more like an accountant from Stormwind than a potential legend. Think ahead - when they make paintings of you, the cut and weight of your clothing or armor will echo through history. Is that not what you've always wished for?"
I'm starting to wish I'd chosen another profession.
"You lack appreciation for the gift I am giving you. The gift of a guiding philosophy is one that most go their whole lives without, <player>. <Sighs> Look, the point is that you will be judged throughout all time by what you wear and with my research and teaching, you will be able to create legendary things that will set you apart from all others. Let us start."
Let us hope this is worth it.
- Depending on your specific profession, you can either be told there's nothing he can do to help your horrible lack of style (blacksmith) but he'll give you some suggestions on what armor you CAN craft (and glosses over how the Legend of the Four Hammers states that you're inviting a horrible death and doom upon yourself); or ask why, if he's such an expert on style, his own outfit is so drab and unfashionable (tailor). He reacts with indignation to the latter and informs you that it's your eye that can't discern his clothing's greatness.
- Illidan gets some lines worth a few chuckles, whether it be referring to Tehd as Marius's pet warlock, or Amal'thazad as the Ebon Blade's pet lich. Also, try to take him seriously when he says the word 'baubles'.
- Illidan's Stop Poking Me! quotes include him saying "You are not prepared" in the most long-suffering voice imaginable. Keep it up and he starts yelling it before cutting off suddenly and asking if he's denying you something.
- One World Quest in particular which only Demon Hunters can do has them absorb 10 demon souls to get a haste buff to let them kill a powerful pit lord in front of the Tomb. Upon completing it, Illidan refers to Pit Lords as "Arrogance made flesh", coming from Illidan of all people, the irony is thick enough to choke on.
- A goblin sends you out treasure hunting, but you keep arriving after the chest has already been looted by a demon. What you bring back to the goblin - a fake diamond, key to the chest you found the key in, a potion of potion drinking - gets snarky comments from her.
Have you ever looked at a pool of liquid fel fire on the ground and said to yourself, "that looks good to stand in?" Nope. It hurts.
- Vigiliant Quoram in Mac'Aree was a genius in life and sees no problem in criticizing players for not meeting his standards. Even fulfilling his duty of talking with visitors to the academy is treated as beneath his dignity.Quoram: It will forever be my burden to deal with the likes of you.
- One task Quoram sets is passing through an obstacle course, at every step of which he mocks the player and predicts their death. At the end Quoram very reluctantly admits they succeeded, but only because he ran out of room. He then asks if the player wants to be teleported to the entrance, a service offered by many NPCs, only to say it's not part of his job.
- Another task has you challenge the three best mages. All three have appeared as demons under different names, including Grand Vizier Jarasum who sounds very familiar...
- All of his tasks reappear as world quests. On completing them, he congratulates you but only because he is literally required to do so.
- The rare enemies are primarily powerful demon lords and soldiers with a scattering of violent and powerful beasts. And then there's Feasel the Muffin Thief, an adorable critter that drops a muffin.
- When it comes time for the world quest that requires you to kill Feasel, Aethas Sunreaver is the one who does the dialogue and screams about him being an abhorrent creature of darkness who must be slain. Given that the muffin Feasel drops has a chance to reveal a phoenix feather which has no business being on Argus, one suddenly realizes who he stole said muffin from and why Aethas is so keen on killing him.
- The Seat of the Triumvirate dungeon ends with a cutscene showing Alleria absorbing the Void energy of a dark Naaru. This isn't funny. What is funny is the split-second look of absolute Oh, Crap! on her face during this process.
- Antorus, the Burning Throne features an "Elevator Boss" with a new trick up its sleeve: it crushes players who stand under it when it lands, something that is normally harmless when it comes to all other elevators.
- One moment in Antorus that's easy to overlook is right before the first boss, where the platform has a pit of molten fel in the back that deals massive fire damage if you decide to walk into it. There's no point in doing this, as the tooltip points out:
- Vigiliant Quoram in Mac'Aree was a genius in life and sees no problem in criticizing players for not meeting his standards. Even fulfilling his duty of talking with visitors to the academy is treated as beneath his dignity.
- In the Horde epilogue to Legion, the Horde are feasting in celebration of the Legion's defeat when Gallywix suddenly takes Sylvanas aside to show her the Azerite. Baine and Saurfang speculate on what he's up to this time, and Baine remarks that he's been sending a lot of goblins to Silithus. Cue Saurfang choking on his drink before stating that nothing good has ever come out of Silithus.
- There's also the fact that during the cutscene Gallywix assure Sylvanas that nobody else knows about the discovery. Almost immediately we see an Alliance spy observing said operation.
- Silithus: The Wound
- Angus Stormbrew, the dwarf from the Suramar questline where you collect his friend's bones only to find he's still alive, returns. He's holed up in an outhouse in Twilight's Hammer territory. He can't leave because he doesn't have any cloth for... well... you know. He tasks the player with collecting cloth for him to use. Once that's done he lights a match to deal with the fumes and promptly blows up the outhouse with him still inside. Once he's extinguished, he takes stock to makes sure he has all his parts and realizes his pants burned in the outhouse. He thanks you for your help and, groaning in pain all the while, stalks off to get some pants.
- The Postmaster
- You discover some lost mail, which the player delivers. Apparently it was the payment for a dwarf's armor, which was being repossessed despite the fact he was currently wearing it as you arrived.
- The Postmaster reveals they've been blocked from delivering Solid Stone so you're sent to secretly dump 1,362 pieces of it in an enormous bag, one so heavy you can't move faster than a walk or mount up, through an Ethereal portal. Directly into the lap of the one (formerly) friendly Outland Nexus-Prince, who vows vengeance for having even more stone thrown at him.
- An adventurer forgot to loot Invincible's Reins, the most sought-after mount in the game. After fighting off greedy hoarders, you find the customer relaxing at a resort: Johnny Awesome, entertaining ladies with stories of his grand adventures.
- But it doesn't stop there! Johnny hadn't forgotten to loot the reins as he already had Invincible, now named "Spooky". He's too preoccupied with the ladies so he imperiously commands you to go vendor it for a piddling amount of gold — the goblin who buys it is thrilled at the profit he'll make.
- And then Johnny tasks you to honor the memory of Twinkles by placing his favorite toy on his grave: Mimiron's Head, the second most sought-after mount! Many players experience physical pain seeing this.
- The ladies notice you look rather put out, so Johnny sends you a letter expressing his pity for you along with a tip. He then states that if tipping is not allowed, you should return the item plus shipping and handling.
- After completing the quest series you receive a letter from the Postmaster explaining he arranged the whole thing to keep the post office from collapsing. He also includes some solid stone and another piece of lost mail to give to another adventurer. The whole thing is a chain mail scam!
- If you eject your companions on the Traveler's Tundra Mammoth or other mounts (which includes dismounting) they will stand there for a moment, complain about how you're treating them, and disappear. Hakmud of Argus, the general goods vendor for Alliance characters, gets some special dialogue if you dismount on Argus."You take Hakmud home and then abandon him. Hakmud sees how it is!"
"It is not like Hakmud wanted to see his namesake or anything. Goodbye!"
"Now everybody of Argus. Hakmud did not want to be special anyways!"
- Xylem was always a little unhinged even before he was possessed by a demon and tried to use the Focusing Iris to drain all the magic from Azeroth into himself, but if you go and talk to him after completing his Mage Tower Challenge, he has some hilarious "stop poking me" lines."Wait! Did I leave the trial of fire on...? Oh, I'm pretty sure I turned it off."
"I went full shadow. Never go full shadow."
Battle for Azeroth
- At the end of the Highmountain tauren recruitment questline, when Baine learns that Ebonhorn is a black dragon after they and the player repel the Old God forces from Highmountain, he jokes that if he knew beforehand, he would've set a bigger table.
- The patch notes of a hotfix released on July 24th, 2018 (during the pre-patch period) mostly involved stopping enemies from dealing too much damage due to the stat squish applied with this expansion. One of them had a tiny gem, though:Fixed an issue where Saurfang did not exercise enough restraint against Warriors dueling him during the quest "Secrets of the Axes".
- In a possible reference to this, during a Horde quest Saurfang tells the player he needs to hit them and make it look convincing. He apologizes in advance as he has little experience holding back. His blow knocks the player out cold and leaves them with a stamina debuff.
- At the end of the Alliance version of War of the Thorns, you're sent to evacuate as many civilians as you can from Teldrassil before it completely burns. One of them is a worgen sitting in a chair saying "This is fine." as the place burns around him.
- In the Sylvanas Warbringers video, during the flashback to the Scourge invasion of Quel'thalas we're treated to a scene where Sylvanas kills a few Scourge troops before... doing an ineffective power slide right into Frostmourne's reach.
- Blink and you'll miss it, but during the intro cinematic, as the Horde begins to charge, you can see the Alliance lines literally splitting just to avoid being the center of attention for Memetic Badass Varok Saurfang, King of Cleave.
- During the Battle for Lordaeron finale cinematic, Sylvanas responds to a declaration from Genn by telling Anduin to "muzzle (his) dog."
- In the Chamber of Heart, the damaged Maiden of Vitality will list out multiple titan facilities (both known and unknown to players), eventually devolving into saying "Uld..." over and over, which comes off as poking fun at the facilities' naming convention.
- Tiragarde Sound:
- After being imprisoned in Tol Dagor, you meet Flynn Fairwind, who helps you escape by starting a prison riot. You exit through the Absurdly Spacious Sewer:Flynn: Ugh... smells like a freebooter's hammock.
Flynn: Something touched my leg!
Flynn: Wait wait, no. It was just my other leg. We're good.
- When you escape, you're halted by a guard who is immediately eaten by The Sand Queen, a massive krolusk (a sand-dwelling, trilobite-like creature). Flynn's reaction:Flynn: Yeah, I'm officially done with this place.
- In Freehold, your first meeting with Venrik has him offering you a drink. Your options are:Ale.
Milk... In a skull mug.Flavor text
- When rescuing Flynn from the fighting pit, Harlan rolls some dice to determine your fate but keeps getting bad rolls, including dumping out an entire bag of dice, most of which "come up treasure". Harlan eventually gives up and just orders some pirates to kill you.
- In the Hordeside foothold chain, you help a pirate stage a mutiny against her captain who wishes to become a privateer for Kul Tiras. One of the quests is to spike the pirate's ale. Your character, either deciding to be cute or being way too Literal-Minded does indeed spike it... straight through with a harpoon. When you return to her the pirate is noticeably confused by your logic.
- While killing troggs you discover a carving depicting a soup recipe and, for whatever reason, decide to give it a try. The ingredients are a Mystery Meat, rocks, and a scale for crunch, stirred with a bone. And the result is apparently the most delicious soup in existence.
- The Norwington Estate is holding a festival only for a horde of troggs to invade, terrorizing the guests and causing chaos. Lord Norwington is elated as the story of driving them off is going to make this the best party he's ever held.
- Getting the cowardly Majo mounted on a horse involves getting him shells for armor, his favorite drink, and a lucky charm. He then refuses the first three horses on flimsy pretexts before finally being forced to mount the final option. He then has a panic attack, yelling the horse is out of control... while it is sedately walking down the path. After finally realizing he's fine, Majo starts showing off like a child riding his bike... to his tiny son, who's praising his dad on how well he's doing.
- One of the skinning quests has the trainer ask you to kill a giant crab that's wronged her and bring her its head, only to pause and realize crabs don't have heads. She explains that most things that wrong her do and just asks you to bring any body part back as proof.
- After being imprisoned in Tol Dagor, you meet Flynn Fairwind, who helps you escape by starting a prison riot. You exit through the Absurdly Spacious Sewer:
- Stormsong Valley:
- Much like "The Day That Deathwing Came", the "Deadliest Catch" storyline in Thresher's Wharf has Coxswain Hook, Master Gunner Line, and "Sinker", who give their outlandish recounts of events:
- Hook, who is very clearly drunk off her gourd, tells her tale of punching land sharks. Line doesn't believe it because sharks are solitary predators and wouldn't work together.
- Line's story starts off with him deciding to fish and forgetting his fishing rod. Much like the Dwarven Fishing Pole example above, his rod is a gun, which he uses to fight Void creatures and then Ozumat from Vashj'ir.
- Sinker is The Unintelligible because of his diving helmet. His story involves riding a dolphin with a laser on its head that he uses to mow down merciless ones and drop bombs on idols. The quest text counts the merciless ones killed as "Mph mph Mph" and counts the idols as "Western Mph", "Southern Mph", and "Eastern Mph".
- The last story is Hook's tale of meeting Line and Sinker, which involves fighting naga and Barathruum, a Void-addled whale shark. The story ends before it can show Hook jumping down Barathruum's throat, killing it from the inside out and achieving eternal honor and glory, relegating this to an Offscreen Moment of Awesome.
- During the faction assault event one possible world quest has Alliance players boarding a gyrocopter outside their town. If a Horde player approaches the gyrocopter's technician says that it's for Alliance use only and "may" have a self-destruct to prevent theft. He then admits out loud that sounds like a really good idea and he should have done that.
- Much like "The Day That Deathwing Came", the "Deadliest Catch" storyline in Thresher's Wharf has Coxswain Hook, Master Gunner Line, and "Sinker", who give their outlandish recounts of events:
- The workers of a sausage-making town have been transformed into pigs and are being used for product. This is not funny. What is funny is that the transformed pigs are still wearing their hats.Warren Ashton: [after the World Quest] The workers are quite grateful for the rescue. You really saved their bacon.
- While trying to transfer ownership of Anyport from the Irontide Raiders to Cesi Loosecannon, you get a quest to kill the innkeeper, Gary Cofferdam. The "inn" is the cave in the cliff side, and when you go to fight him, he bails by hearthing out; a common tactic used by players when things are getting too hot to handle, and they get a few uninterrupted seconds to cast. It backfires as he set his hearthstone to the back of his own cave, so he ends up about ten yards farther away from the cave's only exit, and is more screwed now than before.
- Anyport is also a neutral location, and is used as a flight point for Horde players in Kul Tiras, usually when they reach level 120 and are doing World Quests. An Alliance player doing the Anyport liberation quest is in a separate phase and won't see any of the Horde players, but the moment they finish they phase into normal Anyport possibly surrounded by max level Horde; and if they have their PvP flag on...
- The Alliance-only quest "Life Preserver" involves the player protecting the red dragon Zallestrasza as she completes a ritual to prevent a deceased red dragon from being reanimated, as such a thing happened while the Burning Legion was attacking Azeroth. Does it sound familiar? She's talking about the Death Knight Class Hall mount questline where the player did exactly that to get their mount. At the end of the ritual, a Death Knight NPC arrives, trying to claim the dead dragon's bones as a mount. If you do this quest as a Death Knight, she will know that you were behind the attack on the Ruby Sanctum as well as that reanimation but she's willing to give you a chance due to your other (good) deeds - a chance you can waste by saying the red dragons deserved their deaths or by trying to attack Zallestrasza after she completes the ritual (key word being "trying", as she punts you out of the mountain if you do); also, the Death Knight NPC thinks it's unfair that you want to be the only Death Knight with an undead dragon mount.
- One World Quest involves rescuing the people attending a wedding at Whitegrove Chapel that was crashed by wicker beasts. While most people in attendance are terrified, the bride is beating down one of the monsters in a rage due to the wedding being ruined, with the groom trying to calm her down and telling her that these are real monsters and that they should leave.
- Also at Whitegrove Chapel, while the flashbacks of Lucille's ill-fated wedding are anything but funny, you can get on the Waycrests' nerves by looking for Arthur's notes for his speech in all the wrong places, including Lucille's underwear.
- Horde players gain access to the zone by driving Eitrigg and Gallywix to various sites on a pimped-out goblin trike. Eitrigg is very rattled on hearing there are witches in the area and Gallywix loves prodding him about it... until they're nearly killed by witches. Gallywix and Eitrigg agree to set up camp elsewhere as the forest is "too spooky".
- Setting up said camp has the player erecting three buildings. First they use an enlarging ray to return a miniaturized building to full size and are promptly attacked by a rat that was also enlarged. Second they reach into an interdimensional portal and pull out... an eldritch abomination. On the next attempt, they feel for something building-shaped. Third they set up a fishing hut... by setting off a giant pile of explosives.
- The workers of a sausage-making town have been transformed into pigs and are being used for product. This is not funny. What is funny is that the transformed pigs are still wearing their hats.
- Aboard the Banshee's Wail is Ji Firepaw...and by "aboard," we mean at the top of the highest mast. Chances are good you'd never notice him if you aren't specifically looking for him. And if you somehow manage to reach him, he comments about he really wants to punch one of Zandalar's dinosaurs.
- In the east you can find a duo of trolls named Vud'ka and Wees'ki, with their pet Scooch. One is sleeping off a hangover while the other can't remember what happened the night before.
- The mining trainer constantly talks down to you while giving quests, at one point stating the rings you're recovering are empirically more valuable than your lives. When he can't be bothered to teach you about one material he sends you to his drunkard apprentice who you have to bribe with food and a giant breakfast.
- A troll chef is chopping up a melon for an inn's customers. He's constantly getting harassed by the waitstaff about how long it's taking, only to rebut that melons require time and a gentle yet savage chopping.
- During one world quest troll children steal scrolls from the Tortollans and transform themselves into various dinosaurs. While stomping and clawing at the air, they're also yelling about how much fun they're having. Dispelling the transformation leaves them pouting and saying you're no fun.
- The followers of the raptor Gonk and the Pterrordax Pa'ku have a serious rivalry, with priests gathering on streets to openly mock the other faction and their god. During the storyline you work alongside a squabbling couple who are also priests of the two gods, and at one point they declare they're done with you double-timing their gods and have to choose one or the other.
- There are also world quests to prank groups of priests, such as luring a pterrordax to take a dump on a raptor idol or hexing a pterrordax priest to look like a raptor.Hexlord Raal: Gonk's druids are too uptight. Play some pranks on their altars to get dem to lighten up. Oh, and dey may try to kill you for dis.
- The loa Pa'ku seems like a wise old god at first but it quickly becomes clear she's a cranky old lady who's tired of dealing with idiots, and she considers you to be an idiot. Her priest sometimes quotes her wise sayings such as "Go away!"
- When greeting Pa'ku, she declares she needs the player to make a leap of faith. She's tickled silly when the player takes this literally and jumps off her perch. Her priest is just happy she didn't have you dropped.
- Dazar'alor hosts not only ambassadors and soldiers but also Horde tourists. A pair of Highmountain Tauren gush about how easy flying a kite is on top of the main pyramid while a pair of blood elves take a selfie while chattering inanely. A nearby guard spits in disgust at the typical elf behavior.
- The blood elves return to take more selfies during Talanji's coronation.
- Though the Hir'eek storyline is a pretty jarring development, there's something darkly hilarious about being able to skin his corpse after you've killed him.
- In Isolating Zalamar, you think of the best distraction possible for the lookouts based on your many seasons of adventuring experience: sending them on ridiculously long Fetch Quests.
- In the storyline to find Torga the turtle loa, you meet Kisha, a tortollan on a pilgrimage. You can point out that she's doing noting but standing around, which she reacts to by sarcastically walking back and forth in front of you.
- Near a Faithless encampment Horde players find a Forsaken who has been cut in half. You end up having to forcibly jam his torso onto the legs to get him up and moving. During the following quests you help one of his subordinates, a Laughing Mad shadow sorceress who he finds useful and extremely terrifying.
- After incinerating a devilsaur in a pool of tar, its skeleton proceeds to animate and chase after the player who is currently riding a raptor while two trolls yell to go faster.
- An obviously half-mad troll warns the guards that an undead abomination is loose in the swamp and will kill them all. One guard mocks this and runs out into the swamp to show how safe it is, right as said abomination shows up and eats him. The half-mad troll seems more resigned than anything.
- One quest involves controlling the Hand of Fate, a spirit that manifests as a crawling hand. Its area attack chooses randomly between a rock, a book, and blades with a warning that the Hand of Fate cannot be forced. Rokhan is mostly interested in how something without a mouth can talk so much.
- On the way to the Shrine of Akunda, Meerah starts singing about her and her alpaca. One of the Zandalari trolls with you gets annoyed at the singing. Meerah keeps singing, but at a lower volume.
- The quest "Free Ride" has you using a Faithless krolusk to return to your quest hub with the Vulpera, Kiro. Upon doing so, Meerah starts excitedly asking what's been going on.Meerah: Kiro! I'm so happy you're back! Was it scary out there? How'd you get one of their krolusks? Did you name it? Can I name it? Is it nice?
- When attacking the Skycallers' Spire, you can see Nisha fighting with some Faithless next to your questgiver Vorrik. If you kill those Faithless, Nisha gets angry at the Kill Steal.Nisha: Those were my kills. I'm counting 'em!
- The Goldtusk Inn
- The Goldtusk Gang consists of Rhan'ka and his buddies Man'zul, Volni, Grenja, and Zulsan... who are skulls... that Rhan'ka speaks to. You get to introduce yourself to them and get options from a polite greeting to insults. He's trying to create an inn at an oasis in the middle of Vol'dun and recruits you to help.
- Tasks Rhan'ka has you perform include finding Zulsan, whose skull is guarded by a large scorpid, and avenging him upon some Sandfury trolls that wrecked his place and mocked him with an assortment of fruits and vegetables. You also harvest honey from the wasps... honey that is kept in their stingers... and referred to with Scare Quotes in its relevant quest... and which you are explicitly told by the person who turns it into a drink for you to not drink all at once.
- When you return from all that, you find Rhan'ka hiding in his pot trying to convince any potential Sandfury he's just a banana... a bunch of which he's wearing on his head... and proceeds to continue wearing from that point onward.
- Just when you think this has all just been the antics of some crazy troll in a cave, you go through the Goldtusk initiation ritual, which reveals that all the people Rhan'ka's been speaking to are actually there and become further questgivers.
- The final quest is a breadcrumb quest to another chain. You help advertise the Goldtusk Inn by taking a coupon to some Vulpera. The coupon's flavor text describes it as "a leaf covered in illegible writing and a big smiley face." The Vulpera you give it to flat out says no, he will not be going there and offers you some real work leading to the next questline.
- An NPC you can see randomly running around Vol'dun is a Vulpera lugging a goblin rocket as large as his body. His name is Wiley and he's chasing a hawkstrider called "Ridge Runner". He even has a subtitle of "Stubbornus Adversarius", while the Ridge Runner has the subtitle "Accelleratii Ridiculii".
- For Alliance players there as part of the War Front campaign, one of the Gnome technicians squees over the fact Vol'dun has alpacas and demands you get him one "for scientific study. Certainly not for their floofiness."
- After completing a quest while transformed into a massive cobra, the questgiver calls you a "wonderful danger noodle".
- If you die in Zandalar, you're greeted by none other than Bwonsamdi in place of the usual Spirit Healer, and quite unlike the Spirit Healer, he's happy to offer some deadpan commentary on your death, including a unique quote for each class:Ah, a death knight. Ya should come see MY death gate! (to death knights)
Someting about ya seem off... Ah, da stench of a demon hunter. (to demon hunters)
Ya not be dreaming now, mon. (to druids)
Ya be tryin' ta feign death, mon? Shame... (to hunters)
Dat blink didn't get ya very far, did it? (to mages)
Hah! Ya didn't roll out of dat one. (to monks)
I tink ya followed da wrong light, mon. (to paladins)
Oho... a priest! If ya ever consider a change of faith, be sure you let old Bwonsamdi know, you hear? (to priests)
Ya can't be hidin' from Bwonsamdi, little ting. (to rogues)
Oh, da spirits be with ya now, mon. (to shamans)
Awww, did ya lose your little shiny soulstone, eh? (to warlocks)
Haha, all dat armor didn't help ya much, did it? (to warriors)
- During the search for Jaina, Alliance players find a contract between Priscilla Ashvane and Harlan Sweete regarding transporting her, which is dozens of pages long and has lots of legalese. When you take it to Flynn, he starts reading it, with the act of reading represented by a very long channel spell, but then decides to give up and skim it (which goes a little more quickly), before finally deciding he's had enough and reading the highlights.
- Flynn is the gift that keeps on giving.
- After falling prey to a siren's curse, he decides to cure his heartbreak with some alcohol... and quickly gets himself completely drunk... while leading the adventurer through a dangerous valley to Freehold.
- He's a little more than unnerved when introducing the world quest for various named enemies, which can get rather amusing when they're less than intimidating.Flynn: (on quest accept) It's a... uhh... thing! Kill it! Kill it with fire!
Flynn: (on quest complete) Even if it's dead, it will still haunt my nightmares.
- As well as when introducing the world quest for Adhara White, Tol Dagor escapee.Flynn: I think I recognize that guy! Wait... I definitely recognize that guy. That's not a good thing.
- And then there's Teres, the isolated siren.Flynn: (on quest accept) Do... do you hear that? Wait! Not again! Kill it, quickly!Flynn: (on quest complete) You know, someone in Freehold could make a killing selling earplugs.
- Flynn simply can't catch a break, and even gets his wallet stolen by one of the young pickpockets off the streets of Boralus.Flynn: (on quest accept) Huh? Where's my wallet? Wait! Did that brat just take my wallet?! After him!Flynn: (on quest complete) Okay. None of these wallets are mine, but... I'll just hold onto them 'til we can find their owners.
- One quest in Freeehold has Flynn asking you to retrieve some pirate's buried treasure, only for it to be a stash of sea grog. Flynn was hoping for something valuable, so that he could buy booze.
- One quest has you hiding in barrels to sneak into a Horde ship.Flynn: "Wait... is this pee? (slurping noise) No, it's ale. We're good."
- Jani is the Saurid Loa and has domain over trash, which is reflected by his "shrines" taking the form of trash heaps around Zandalar. He refers to players as "richmon", pointing out that their armor is worth more than the entire trash heap where they meet. Quests from him often take the form of Jani transforming the player against their will and ordering them to either bite an NPC or steal their hat. And of course there's his laugh: "Hek hek hek!"
- Do enough quests as Horde and Jani asks you have a shrine erected in Dazar'alor. The shrine artisan tasked with this expresses a mix of disgust for Jani, confusion, and disbelief. As there are no actual statues of Jani, she just dumps a pile of trash where the shrine would usually stand.
- A speaker will periodically appear and give the blessing of their loa to nearby players. Jani's speaker wears an oversized boot on her head and is eventually kicked out by the guards due to making a mess.
- You can find one of Jani's trash piles prior the first boss of the Battle of Dazar'alor. Using it and asking the Loa for a blessing will result in you getting a seemingly harmless debuff... Which will randomly transform you into a saurid who can't attack, can't cast spells, and takes 300% damage from everything during the fight. The only thing you can do is steal some "Shinies" from the boss and their ads, which you can bring to Jani to change you back... only for Jani to do it again later in the fight.
- In the Alliance War Campaign, Keeshan and Kelsey Steelspark become fast friends, bonding over their mutual love of explosives, making explosives, planting explosives, using explosives, and knives. Namely, Kelsey's knife collections.
- Horde War Campaign:
- A goblin mining operation is overrun by azerite slimes and have to rescue the workers. Not because it's the right thing to do, but because the boss skimped on insurance and the "Potential Lawsuits" need to be rescued.
- Gallywix's feud with Mekkatorque is rife with idiocy from the Trade Prince, resentful "employees", and some surprising introspection on how he was accidentally responsible for the war.Gallywix: HAH! I'm just kiddin'! Of course I don't care about that stuff, I'm flyin' a freakin' mech that shoots lasers made outta the planet's blood!
- With regards to that mech, engineers get a chance to peruse the schematics and concludes it shouldn't even work. The only thing that makes any sense is that it should be nearly out of fuel; Gallywix ignores this.
- Freehold instance:
- The first boss, Skycap'n Kragg, flies around on his parrot throwing down bombs... and his parrot will periodically "empty his hold" on players as well. Once Kragg is defeated, said parrot apologizes... that you smell like parrot guano, before laughing and flying away.
- The second boss has three captains, one of whom can be convinced to join your side during the fight. One of those captains is convinced by chugging enough booze to impress his crew. Another will jam a booze keg on your head, leave you disoriented.
- The third boss is a fighting pit. The matches are announced by Gurgthock, the traditional announcer for these events, who is currently being held hostage and "motivated" by a hozen.
- The first "fight" is a greased up pig you have to catch. Gurgthock is bewildered and utterly exasperated after it's done.
- The third fight is Trothak the Shark Puncher, who enters as pyrotechnics go off and set some spectating pirates on fire. His name is not due to punching sharks but because he has a shark tied to each arm. And one of his abilities is Shark Tornado.
- The MOTHERLODE!!! instance:
- The first region of the dungeon is Crapopolis, a glitzy resort in the middle of an industrial wasteland at the base of the goblin's destroyed homeland. It culminates with a boss fight against a coin-operated enforcer robot with an ecstatic crowd of goblins throwing gold into the arena.
- Open pools of oily water have the helpful feature of "Safety Sharks" to "assist" anyone who falls in.
- The final boss of the instance has warning signs outside his arena reading "DANGER: Boss ahead!"
- Tol Dagor instance:
- After defeating the Sand Queen, Taelia will ask if you escaped through the pipe, then make a note to stand upwind of you.
- After defeating Jes Howlis, who's in the middle of a plan to escape and seize the Overseer's hostages, he'll protest that he was up for parole.
- After completing the instance, Taelia will compliment you, saying that you do well... for an escaped fugitive.
- Waycrest Manor instance:
- Overall this dungeon is not a comedic one, but running it on a Horde character has an amusing moment. The Order of Embers still show up to help fight the final boss, but without the zone's worth of story buildup that Alliance players get, they react to a Horde group with a moment of confusion.Inquisitor Yorrick: We're too late! Wait, who are you?
- That isn't the only good moment in there. After killing the trio of witches, Lady Waycrest asks if it's considered good manners where you come from to kill one's servants only to retract the question.Lady Waycrest: I can tell by your dull expressions that in your corner of the world, the concept of a home not made of dung is likely new and exciting.
- Overall this dungeon is not a comedic one, but running it on a Horde character has an amusing moment. The Order of Embers still show up to help fight the final boss, but without the zone's worth of story buildup that Alliance players get, they react to a Horde group with a moment of confusion.
- Warfronts: You wouldn't think there'd be anything amusing about the Horde and Alliance trying to kill each other (again), but there's some gems in there.
- When the Horde are fighting to take Stromgarde, Eitrigg makes it very clear that he doesn't appreciate Danath Trollbane referring to him and the orcs as "greenskins". In fact, he keeps using that term to rub in the fact that the Horde are winning at every opportunity. He also has an apparent hatred for Treants as, should a player chop down a tree in the Horde base and a Treant spawn near him, he will use his normal, "I am going to murder you for entering my base, Alliance scum" aggro lines while moving in to one-shot the angry, confused, and then very dead, Treant.
- Horde Grunts waiting to battle in Dazar'alor are kitted out with two pauldrons, a two-handed battleaxe, and a horned helm. Hiding among them is a single peon who really wants to be a Grunt. He's managed to scrounge up a single pauldron and handaxe but for the helmet had to settle for putting horns on a wooden bucket.
- In Uldir, just before the Zek'voz encounter, MOTHER explains that the titan discs contain 50 norgabytes of information on every disease known, 75 norgabytes on various chemicals and 500 norgabytes of images of "adorable felines." Alternatively, she can mention 950 norgabytes of "musical playlists and portrait self-images."
- Horde players who choose to raise the pterrodax Kua'fon will often have to track him down and rescue him, whether from annoyed dinosaurs or from Zandalari in the market or Loa shrines. Should you have to shoo him away from the trolls, he'll give you an adorable heart above his head... while the Zandalari, in a very easy to miss moment, will have a "kiss my ass" animation towards the player.
- When Kua'fon becomes old enough to try flying, the loa Pa'ku herself comes to oversee the grand moment. In the middle of her uplifting speech, Kua'fon jumps off and glides to the ground below as he can't figure out flapping his wings. Pa'ku gives a verbal shrug and notes not all hatchlings survive.
- Overall, Pa'ku and the nest tender she sends to help are very amused by the player's harried pleas for help.
- During the Horde's Stormwind Extraction quest, if you try to attack Jaina when she appears, her reaction as she one-shots you is essentially an exasperated "...Really?"
- Genn will also drop whatever he's doing and nail whoever aggros him with a leaping strike that has seemingly infinite range... and can ignore walls. In-universe, imagine the Wolf King of Gilneas smashing through trees, barricades, and even a building or two to gut you for doing Scratch Damage to him. Terrifying, but also something out of a cartoon.
- The final portion of the quest to recruit the Mag'har orcs as an Allied Race has you transporting the orcs from Draenor to Azeroth. Specifically Durotar. More specifically, if done at the right time of year, right smack in the middle of the Brewfest fairgrounds.
- The Horde quest Corner Crossing, part of the Hunt for Saurfang questline, has you taking a potion to pose as a human so you can question people who might have seen Saurfang. The amusing part is that this Humanizing potion transforms you into a little human girl, with Dark Ranger Lyana posing an adult human woman trying to help her "daughter" find her puppy.
- While talking to a human woman, one of the dialog options is "Glory to the Banshee Queen!" Lyana claims you're going through a phase and scolds you.
- And yes, Lyana will still take the role of parent even if you're a race that normally towers over her, such as a Tauren.
- There's some unintentional hilarity in the consequences of who's side you choose. Taking Saurfang's side in matters nets you a toy, while siding with Sylvanas gives nothing. Since the game warns you of this beforehand, you end up with a few people choosing the help Saurfang's betrayal just to get a cool cloak.
- During the Alliance version of Battle of Dazar'alor, Shaw, who up until now has remain cool and collected regardless of what's been thrown at him, is visibly and audibly thrown for a loop when he sees the Horde's Champion of Light.Shaw: A Troll...Paladin?! Now I have seen everything...