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Funny / Wizards of Waverly Place

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  • If you like Max, he'll be the provider of a lot of Crowning Moments.
  • When Justin and Max switch bodies with the dance instructors in Quinceanera.
  • At the end of Positive Alex, when Justin expected Max to show him the video with the basketball game in which he took part, but instead Max filmed himself and their parents fooling around.
  • Every time Zeke tries to sing in Daddy's Little Girl.
    • Also in that episode, "the pancake faced monsters."
      Jerry: We're pancake faced monsters!
      Alex: We want syrup!
      Harper: AHHHHHHHH! (runs away)
  • Justin destroying the full wizard robe that Jerry gave him.
    • "This is a box of mud."
  • In Alex does good Justin has been Max's wingman. After some work he managed to get a date with his crush provided that there's supervision. Justin, being an awesome brother goes along with disguising as their waiter on Max's request. At the dinner Max "realizes" that he got a servant and is convinced that humiliation turns his date on. He begins being a real jerkass to Justin. Justin however responds by humiliating just as much without breaking character and pulls up lots of Jackass Genie moments as response to his behavior.
  • Justin: Look! An animal translator app!
    Max: Nah, that doesn't work, I tried it on my pet frog once and it just kept on saying "Keep this guy away from me, keep this guy away from me."
  • Zeke singing enthusiastically "Mexico! Mexico!" in the middle of the school just to get the role in Justin's play. One of the best moments in the show. In fact, most scenes involving Zeke invoke this trope.
  • In the Movies episode, Justin and Alex get trapped inside the movie and, while they're running away from the "bad guy" who chases them with a hair dryer, Justin falls on his face.
    Alex:(turning around scared) Justin, stand up!
    Justin: (stretches his arm dramatically) Forget about me, Alex, save yourself!
    Alex: (deadpan) Seriously, Justin, just stand up.
    Justin: Ok.
  • In I Almost Drowned in a Chocolate Fountain, Justin and Max are hiding behind a rolling table in a restaurant, while they're spying on Alex, to get revenge on her, but a waiter catches them.
    Waiter: Excuse me, what are you doing?
    Justin: Uhhh... Trying to figure out how to get chocolate in that purse.
    Waiter: Why?
    Max: To mess with our sister.
    Waiter: (suddenly angry) I have a sister... Get in!
    • Alex gets bitten by the Spanish Pocket Elf and she gets crazy with chocolate by eating everyone's dessert at the restaurant.
    • Alex doing the chocolate slide.
    • Justin and Alex talking about getting even.
      Justin: I'm gonna even.
      Alex: Hah-yeah. Okay. That'll never happen. Remember the time you wanted to get "even with me"? I got the bigger bedroom and you got what?
      Justin: (embarrassed) Shot-gun on that one trip to the outlet mall...
      Alex: Exactly, some things never change.
  • Another exchange of lines:
    Justin: No, because I checked your calendar and you've got no plans for the next 30 years.
    Alex: Ha. I don't have a calendar.
    Justin: Ha! People who don't have calendars also don't have plans! OWNED! SO HARD! OWNED!
    Alex: (grim) Yeah, sometimes he wins.
  • In Marathoner Helper, Max participates in a spelling bee. Hilarity Ensues:
    Jerry: Ok. Are you ready for your word, Max?
    Max: Max! M-A-C-K-S. Max.
    Jerry: That isn't your word. That's your name... And you mispelled it.
    Max:(shakes head) I should have asked for a definition.
  • In Captain Jim Bob Sherwood, Justin and Alex prepare a dress for Max, so that he can interpret one of their comic book's characters. The dress is actually made by Harper and, when Justin tells Max to get it, Harper gets defensive:
    Justin: Alright, Max, get in that.
    Harper: What? No! Take a hike.
    Max: Girl, you take a hike.
    Harper: Oh yeah? (stares creepily)
    Max: (backing away) I'm sorry, I'm sorry! (runs away terrified)
    • Justin dresses as the captain's nemesis and Alex as an evil queen, but the captain quickly realizes it
      Captain: (To Alex) And you may or may not be who you say you are.
    • The ending of that episode:
      Alex: Oh, look, a review for the comic book.
      Justin: Ooh.
      Alex: In the new issue of "Captain Jim Bob Sherwood", the baton has been passed on to a new artistic team...
      Justin: (excitedly) That's us!
      Alex: Sherwood is sucked into an alternate frontier that's riddled with crime and food he's never encountered before. He rescues Jessica Moon and returns to Farmtown with an intergalactic recipe for fajitas.
      Justin: Fajitas.
      Alex: The Russo sisters, Alex and Justine, have taken over the reins with flair.
      Justin: What?
      Alex: (cracks up and is laughing her butt off)
      Justin: Did you say Justine?
      Alex: Wow! Sometimes I don't have to do anything, and I still win!
      Justin: I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to the reviewer.
      Alex: Yeah, good luck with that, sis.
  • In the episode with family game night Justin, in an attempt to freak out his Abhorrent Admirer, says something along the lines of this:
    Justin: Isn't that infuriating? Doesn't it make you wanna (pushes table close to the dad) throw a table?
  • This exchange while Jerry and Max are trying to camp out on the terrace:
    Guy in helicopter: You there on the terrace, have you seen a stocky male, late forties running with a sack of money?
    Jerry: No!
    Guy in helicopter: Are you locked out?
    Max: No!
    Guy in helicopter: Has your manhood been called into question?
    Jerry and Max: Yes!
    Guy in helicopter: Hang in there guys!
  • In "Wizards vs. Finkles", Theresa is out of town, and Max decides he's going to take her place, complete with comforting Alex and calling her mija.
  • In "The Good, the Bad, and the Alex," when Justin and Max think Alex is going to steal all the power for herself:
    Max: Oh my gosh! I get it now! Our sister is truly evil. And it's not just fun evil, it's evil evil! Dad said if this ever happens we should run and change our names! Run, Guiseppe! Run!
    • Also Max's list of demands for being king of the wizards: to get rid of spinning, to take off people's feet, and to be served pudding every morning, afternoon, and evening.
  • In one episode, Jerry discusses improv spells. The conversation starts off something like this:
    Jerry: Alex, you haven't eaten for days and you're in desperate need of a sandwich. What do you do?
    Alex: I walk over to our sandwich shop and have mom make me a sandwich.
    Jerry: Alright, well, mom's not here right now.
    Justin: Where's mom?
    Jerry: She's gone. She left the country.
    Justin: (concerned) She left the country? Why, is she okay?
    Jerry: (irritated) Yes, she's fine-
    Alex: (interrupting) Well, if she's fine I don't see why she couldn't make me a sandwich.
  • Dexter, the girls' landlord, is a veritable fount of these. He's even funnier when you remember that it's the main villain in disguise.
    Dexter: I do the Dougie. Lean and brush, lean and brush.
  • Half the things Justin says when he's merged with a clone Alex sent to college only to come back as a hippie.
    Justin: Chanting makes it important!
    Justin: The stark beauty of silence. *Beat* There, that's it.
    Justin: Ahhh, sunshine!
    Justin: I bought these jeans pre-ripped.
    Justin: When cowboys used to get really really hungry they ate these things right there *Plays with the fringe on his jacket*.
  • From "Who Will Be The Family Wizard?":
    Jerry: Alex had so much going on, she made a sandwich with peanut butter on the outside of the bread.
    Alex: No, actually I did that on purpose. That's what a forty year old gets for ordering off the kids menu.
  • Some of the interactions between Max and his conscience, who clearly hates his idiotic guts.
  • Gorog's addiction to smart phones. The guy may be a serious villain, but he's pretty damn funny too.
    • Another good one: His desire to get rid of rhyming spells because they annoy him.
  • When Alex is impersonating Zeke.
    Alex: Step, step, step, step, MEH!
  • In the episode with Mother Nature, Justin makes a weather man's ridiculous predictions come true, one of which is hail the size of sweet potatoes. When Mother Nature confronts him about messing with the weather, she points out how ridiculous it is and asks who's supposed to benefit from that. Cue Jerry, running around with a bucket, happily yelling about getting free ice.
    • What happened after Officer Brian was hit with the ice also counts.
      Officer Brian: (singing to a thief stealing extra newspapers) Stop, I know, You took to many papers, You only get one. Don't even think about running, you're not that cunning, you'll never no never no NEVER get away. (hit with hail, thief escapes)
      Max: Officer Brian, you let him get away!
      Officer Brian: (Trying to sing, but voice has suddenly become much higher and squeakier) There was nothing I could...There was nothing I could (like a cooing bird) dooooooooooo.
  • In "Disenchanted Evening", Alex tells Justin that their parents are charmed.
    Justin: Mom and Dad are charmed? WHAT?! HOW?! WHEN?! WHO?!
    Alex: Mom and Dad.
    Justin: WHAT?! HOW?! WHEN?!
    Alex: At Dinner.
    Justin: WHAT?! HOW?!
    Alex: It was in the Kugle.
    Justin: WHAT?!
    Alex: Justin, I think you know what!
    • In the same episode, their parents having been charmed into letting them do magic whenever they want, Alex challenges Justin to use magic to open up his school locker. Alex is unconvinced after the fact. Justin responds that he had forgotten his locker combination and used magic to remember, but Alex tells that it's not magic, it's a song he made up:
      Alex: ♪ Right to clear it ♪
      ♪ C'mon, let's hear it... ♪
      (Justin joins in)
      Alex and Justin:
      ♪ ...23, left eight digits,
      ♪ But don't fidget, ♪
      ♪ 31, now for the last, ♪
      ♪ Don't go too fast, ♪
      ♪ Six, and you're off to class, whoo! ♪
  • In "Report Card", the siblings are practicing turning guinea pigs into doves. When Alex takes her turn, she accidentally (or not) turns her guinea pig into a brick instead, prompting this reaction:
    Alex: Ohhhhhhh, it's a pretty dove!
    Jerry: No, oooooooh, it's a pretty brick!!
    • Later, when Alex gets her report card, it informs her that she got an F, to which Alex replies...
      Alex: Excuse me, I turned a guinea pig into a brick, which I think is a much more effective symbol for peace.
  • Alex and Justin spend the whole of "Back to Max" trying to prevent Professor Crumbs from learning that they turned Max into a girl several episodes earlier and preventing Max from finding out that Crumbs is around and has been turned into a little boy. After a comical series of events everyone gets turned back to normal and Max tells Crumbs about been turned into a girl. Crumbs' reaction is brilliant; since they turned him back there is no harm done. Alex and Justin then look like they can't figure out why they were so worried.
  • In "Eat to the Beat", Alex switches a jazz band Justin hired for the dance with a heavy metal band just to see him fly into a hysterical conniption. It has to be seen to be believed.
    • Not to mentions Alex' reaction to Stevie uses magic to make the heavy metal band play smooth jazz.
      Alex: Why did you do that?! Justin was in mid-connip!
  • When Jerry says that he'll dance delicately around the issue of passing the Family Wizard Cloak from Justin to Max (since Max is in the lead for becoming the family wizard), Max takes it literally. Later, when the negotiation with Justin goes south, Max starts dancing.
  • During an otherwise tense moment in "Wizard of the Year", when Mason wolfed up in rage due to seeing Alex with another wizard and thinking she's cheating on him, he jumped onto their table, leading to this exchange:
    Harper: (Through gritted teeth, glaring up at Mason) Um, someone's foot is in my salad.
    Mason: (Moving his foot) So sorry.