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    Winnie the Pooh 
  • "Winnie the Pooh and Some Bees":
    • The conversation from the beginning, about Pooh's name.
      Narrator: "But I thought he was a boy?"
      Christopher Robin: "So did I."
      Narrator: "Then, you can't call him 'Winnie'."
      Christopher Robin: "I don't."
      Narrator: "But you said—"
      Christopher Robin: "He's Winnie-ther-Pooh! Don't you know what 'ther' means?!"
      Narrator: [To Christopher Robin] "Ah, yes, now I do." [narration] And I hope you do too, because it is all the explanation you are going to get.
    • Pooh lives "under the name" of Sanders... as in literally under, since that's what the sign on his doorframe reads.
    • Pooh reasoning that you don't get a buzzing noise unless someone's making one, and the only reason for making a buzzing noise that he knows of is because you're a bee. He then adds that making honey is "the only reason for being a bee".
    • Pooh wants to use a balloon to float to the beehive to get honey, but when Christopher Robin asks why he wants the balloon, he doesn't explain this in so many words; he just stage-whispers, "Honey".
      Christopher Robin: (bemused) "But you don't get honey with balloons."
    • When Pooh thinks the bees are "suspicious" that he's not actually a cloud, he tries to seal the deal by singing that he's a cloud, not realising (due to his often-mentioned lack of "brain") that clouds don't sing.
    • When Christopher Robin doesn't want to pop the balloon as it would "spoil" it, Pooh says, "But if you don't, I'd have to let go, and that would spoil me!".
  • "Pooh Goes Visiting and Gets into a Tight Place":
    • At the beginning, Rabbit wonders if Pooh is actually an intruder, so he pretends to be somebody else:
      Pooh: "Is anybody at home?! ... What I said was, 'Is anybody at home?'!"
      Rabbit: "No! You needn't shout so loud. I heard you quite well the first time."
      Pooh: "Bother! Isn't there anybody here at all?!"
      Rabbit: "Nobody!"
      Pooh: (after realising that's a lie because "somebody must have said, 'nobody'") "Hello, Rabbit. Isn't that you?"
      Rabbit: (putting on a voice) "No."
      Pooh: "But isn't that Rabbit's voice?"
      Rabbit: "I don't think so. It isn't meant to be."
      Pooh: "Oh! ... Well, could you very kindly tell me where Rabbit is?"
      Rabbit: "He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear, who is a great friend of his."
      Pooh: "But this is me!"
      Rabbit: "What sort of 'me'?"
      Pooh: "Pooh Bear!"
    • When Rabbit asks Pooh if he wants honey or condensed milk with his bread, he asks for both, but then worries that he's being greedy, so he adds, "But don't bother with the bread please".
    • Pooh's response when he first gets stuck:
      Pooh: "Bother! I'll have to go back! Oh, help! I'll have to go on! I can't do either! Oh, help and bother!"
    • Rabbit hanging towels on Pooh's legs.
  • "Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle":
    • Piglet's house had a "Trespassers will be prosecuted" sign on it, but it now only says, "Trespassers w—" and when Piglet moved in, it apparently said, "Trespassers will—". Piglet thinks that it's short for Trespassers William, who was his grandfather (named "Trespassers after an uncle and William after Trespassers").
    • When Piglet is telling Pooh about his grandfather, Pooh wonders if it's two grandfathers they're chasing, obviously not knowing what a grandfather even is.
    • Piglet's Blatant Lies when trying to deny his fear of the hypothetical woozles and wizzles. He claims that he wishes Christopher Robin were there but only because he likes him, not because he wants reassurance and claims he has to do something that has to be done right now without specifying what the alleged thing is.
  • "Piglet Meets a Heffalump":
    • When Pooh says that the heffalump won't see the pit until he was already halfway-down because it'd be looking at the sky wondering if it would rain. Piglet wonders what would happen if it was already raining, so Pooh says that then, it'd be looking at the sky wondering if the rain would clear up. Then Piglet wonders what would happen if the heffalump looked down, so they come up with the idea of bait. They each think that their own favourite food (honey for Pooh and acorns for Piglet) would be the best bait, but switch sides upon realising that they'd have to give up some of their own food.
    • Pooh trying to come up with justifications for eating the honey that's supposed to be bait. He remembers his uncle mentioning seeing honey-coloured cheese and uses this as an excuse to "check" if it's cheese. Then, he finds a justification for eating 90% of it by rationalising that someone may have replaced the honey at the bottom with cheese for a joke.
    • Pooh tries to put himself to sleep by counting Heffalumps instead of sheep but every Heffalump takes a pot of his honey, and when "the five hundred and eighty-seventh Heffalumps were licking their jaws, and saying to themselves, 'Very good honey this, I don't know when I've tasted better', Pooh could bear it no longer".
    • One of the worries Piglet has about heffalumps is whether or not they're aggressive specifically to pigs with grandfathers named Trespassers William.
    • Piglet sees Pooh in the trap with his head in a honey-pot, mistakes him for a heffalump, and sounds the alarm:
      • He then describes the creature's "head" as looking like "an enormous big nothing", probably referring to the lack of a face on the jar.
  • "Eeyore Has a Birthday and Gets Two Presents":
    • When Pooh says, "Many happy returns", Eeyore wishes them back. When Pooh points out it isn't his birthday, Eeyore says that he doesn't want two people to be miserable on his birthday.
    • Owl tries to spell "Happy birthday", but can't spell either of those words, ending up with three misspellings of "birthday" ("Bthuthdth", "thuthda" and "bthuthdy"). He tries to cover up his tracks by saying that he's actually writing, "A very happy birthday with love from Pooh".
    • When Piglet falls down and pops the balloon, he initially thinks the loud noise was him exploding and being transported to the moon.
    • Eeyore eventually has fun putting the burst balloon into the pot and taking it out over and over.
  • "Kanga and Baby Roo Come to the Forest and Piglet Has a Bath":
    • Rabbit saying that he's suspicious of Kanga because she carries her "family" with her in her pocket, and then they argue over how many pockets would be required to carry Rabbit's family.
    • Pooh and Piglet initiate a Zany Scheme by Rabbit to get rid of Kanga and Roo, involving Rabbit kidnapping Roo while Piglet takes his place inside her pouch. When Kanga discovers Piglet, she decides to just go with it and pretends to think that he's Roo, so that he grows increasingly frustrated as she gives him Roo's medicine and bathes him, all while insulting him: know what I told you yesterday about making faces. If you keep making faces like Piglet, you will grow up to look like Piglet—and then think how sorry you will be.
      • When Piglet is trying to get Kanga to stop pretending to think he's Roo, one of the things he says is "Can't you see?! Haven't you got eyes?! Look at me!".
      • During the zany scheme, they try to get Kanga to look away by pretending there's a creature in the nearby tree. However, they argue over whether it's a bird or a fish.
    • Piglet thinking that if riding in Kanga's pouch is what flying is, he doesn't want to be able to fly.
    • Piglet is apparently such a Messy Pig that Christopher Robin doesn't recognise him when he's clean, and thinks he's Pooh's relative named Henry Pootel.
  • "Christopher Robin Leads an Expotition to the North Pole":
    • Nobody knows what the North Pole even is, beyond "a thing you discover", so when Pooh finds a literal pole (as in a big stick), they think this is it.
    • Piglet is playing a game where he blows a dandelion to see if something will happen "this year, last year, sometime, or never". He's discovered that it will never happen, but has forgotten what "it" is and hopes it's nothing good.
    • Piglet doesn't know what an expedition is, and asks if it's fierce. When Pooh says that Christopher Robin said nothing about "fierce", just that it had an "X", Piglet replies, "It's not their necks I mind; it's their teeth".
    • When the people in the line say, "Hush!" to each other in succession, the last one, a beetle named Alexander, runs off in shame.
    • When Christopher Robin says that the area is the kind of place for an ambush, Pooh replies, "What sort of bush? A gorse bush?". Owl starts explaining what an ambush is, but Piglet is indignant that Owl listened into his and Pooh's conversation and pretends he was going to say what Owl just said. When Owl explains that an ambush is what happens when someone jumps out at you, Pooh says that a gorse bush did once.
      Owl: (sternly) "We are not talking about gorse bushes!"
      Pooh: "I am."
    • When Eeyore is grousing about no one feeling sorry for him that his tail's numb, he says that to everyone else, a tail is nothing more than "a little bit extra at the back".
  • "Piglet is Entirely Surrounded by Water":
    • Piglet notes that he hasn't seen so much water in the whole three or four years of his life.
    • When Piglet is lamenting that he can't save himself, he goes over the ways his friends could escape. When he gets to Eeyore, he says that he could escape by making noises until rescued.
    • When Pooh's feet get wet from the flood, he starts dreaming about woozles stealing his fur in the snow.
    • Pooh makes a "boat" out of a honey pot, dubbing it The Floating Bear. It notes that for a while, he and it "were uncertain as to which of them was meant to be on the top".
    • Owl having to dumb down his Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness:
      Owl: "The atmospheric conditions have been very unfavourable lately."
      Piglet: "The what?"
      Owl: "It's been raining."
    • The author lampshading how long his sentence is, and then ending the story, claiming to be tired after typing it.
  • "Christopher Robin Gives Pooh a Party":
    • Pooh's "anxious Pooh song", which he imagines everyone singing as a result of no one exactly knowing why they're throwing a party in his honour. It's full of funny rhyming conversations, such as "Three cheers for Pooh!" "For who?" "For Pooh!".
    • When Owl invites Eeyore, the latter is too pessimistic to realise it wasn't a mistake.
      Owl: "He said to invite all of them!"
      Eeyore: "All of them except Eeyore?"
      Owl: "All of them!"
    • Pooh thinks that "B", "HB", and "BB" on pencils stand for "Bear", "Helping Bear", and "Brave Bear".note 

    The House at Pooh Corner 
  • "A House is Built at Pooh Corner for Eeyore":
    • Pooh's clock has stopped at 10:55, but he doesn't bother to wind it, because he likes to pretend it's almost eleven since that's when his snack time is.
    • Pooh introducing his song to Piglet:
      Pooh: "The more it snows, tiddely-pom..."
      Piglet: "Tiddely-what?!"
      Pooh: "Pom. I added that part in to make it more hummy. The more it goes, tiddely-pom, the more it—"
      Piglet: "Didn't you say, 'snows'?"
      Pooh: "Yes, but that was before!"
      Piglet: "Before the 'tiddely-pom'?"
      Pooh: "It was a different 'tiddely-pom'!"
  • ""In Which Tigger Comes To The Forest And Has Breakfast":
    • Pretty much all of Tigger's antics:
      • He thinks the tablecloth tried to bite him, and when Pooh says that it didn't, Tigger says, "It tried" and claims that he was just too quick for the cloth.
      • When he eats a thistle, he thinks that it's painful because it's too hot. (Eeyore thinks that it was a bee.) Later, Tigger says, "What were those hot things called?"
      • Tigger finally discovering what food Tiggers like by eating Roo's Strengthening Medicine (Extract of Malt) while Kanga is trying to administer it.
        He put out his tongue and took one large gallalop. Kanga cried "Oh!" and clutched at the spoon just as it was disappearing and pulled it safely back out of Tigger's mouth. But the Extract of Malt had gone.
        "Tigger, dear!" Kanga said.
    • At the beginning, Pooh wonders what's making the "worra" noise (actually Tigger making it for no reason).
      Pooh: "Is that you, Piglet? ... Come in, Christopher Robin! ... Tell me about it tomorrow, Eeyore!"
    • Pooh writes a poem, but gives shillings as a weight (presumably because pounds are both a weight and a currency). When Piglet critiques this, Pooh says that the word "wanted to come" to his poem.
  • "A Search is Organdized and Piglet Nearly Meets the Heffalump Again":
    • At the beginning, Pooh can't keep track of whether it was fourteen or fifteen pots of honey, but hopes it's the latter.
    • When Pooh falls down the hole, he thinks, "I'm flying. What Owl does. I wonder how you stop."
    • When Pooh lands on top of Piglet, he thinks Piglet's words are his own, and that he's injured himself in a way that makes his voice high-pitched and come out when he doesn't want it to.
    • Piglet and Pooh fall into a deep hole which they eventually decide must be a trap dug by a Heffalump. Pooh suggests that when the Heffalump comes along, they should try to confuse it by claiming that they dug the trap for him. Piglet lapses into a dream sequence about all the brave and witty things he's going to say to the Heffalump... and then when Christopher Robin finds the hole, a panicking Piglet mistakes him for the Heffalump, and all the brave, witty things he was planning on saying end up in a confused muddle:
      "This is a trap for Poohs, and I'm waiting to fall into it, ho-ho, what's all this, and then I say ho-ho again."
      "What?" said Christopher Robin.
      "A trap for ho-ho's," said Piglet huskily. "I've just made it, and I'm waiting for the ho-ho to come-come."
      • Pooh deciding that the heffalump will say, "What's all this?" instead of a third "Ho-ho!", since if you try to say, "Ho-ho!" gloatingly three times, "it isn't ho-ho-ish anymore".
  • "Tiggers Don't Climb Trees":
    • After Pooh learns about seeds, he wonders if he could grow a beehive by planting a honeycomb. Then, he wonders if he could plant just a bit of comb so as not to be wasteful, but then he worries that he'd only get a piece of a beehive, and the wrong piece.
    • Tigger starting to doubt himself about his ability to climb trees, noting that climbing down would be hard due to having to climb backwards, "unless one fell, which would be easy". Then, he almost falls, but Roo thinks he did it on purpose and asks him to do it again.
    • Pooh mistaking Tigger and Roo for "jagulars"; creatures that shout, "Help!", then drop on you when you go to help them.
  • "Rabbit Has a Busy Day and We Learn What Christopher Robin Does in the Mornings":
    • Christopher Robin misspells "back soon" as "backson", which Owl thinks is a creature that may or may not be "herbaceous".
    • Eeyore writes an 'A' out of sticks on the ground as a symbol of education. Then, he rants about everyone else not taking education seriously... while stepping on his sticks and rendering them useless.
  • When Eeyore accuses Tigger of bouncing him into the river.
    "It's like this, Christopher Robin," said Rabbit. "Tigger — "
    "No, I didn't!"
    • And further on:
      "All I did was I coughed," said Tigger.
      "He bounced," said Eeyore.
      "Well, I sort of boffed," said Tigger.
  • In the chapter where Pooh, Piglet, and Rabbit try to "unbounce" Tigger, Roo wants to tag along with them. They dissuade Kanga from allowing this by claiming that Roo was coughing that morning, knowing full well that Kanga will assume he is sick. As it turns out, Roo had been coughing that morning, but only because a biscuit got stuck in his throat. When Kanga asks him why he didn't tell her, he responds, "It was a biscuit cough, not one you tell about". Then, he asks if he can come on the next available outing, to which Kanga responds, "I'll see".
    Roo: "You're always 'seeing' and nothing ever happens!"
  • Owl's house is originally called "THE WOLERY", but then Eeyore sits on the sign and it becomes "THE SMUDGE". Owl coughs at Eeyore in irritation when he sees this. Then Eeyore marches off to show the other animals the new house he found for Owl, with the greater part of "THE WOLERY" on his behind.
  • Eeyore's sole attempt at writing a poem in the last chapter of The House At Pooh Corner. He's genuinely trying to write a "goodbye" poem to Christopher Robin, but the poem ends up being mostly about Eeyore not being able to find any good rhymes:
    Christopher Robin is going.
    At least I think he is.
    Nobody knows.
    But he is going-
    I mean he goes
    (To rhyme with "knows")
    Do we care?
    ( To rhyme with "where")
    We do
    very much.
    (I haven't got a rhyme for that "is" in the second line yet. Bother.)
    (Now I haven't got a rhyme for bother. Bother.)
    Those two bothers will have
    to rhyme with each other
    The fact is this is more difficult than I thought
    I ought-
    (Very good indeed)
    I ought
    To begin again,
    But it is easier
    To stop.
    Christopher Robin, good-bye
    And all your friends
    I mean all your friend
    (Very awkward this, it keeps going wrong)
    Well, anyhow, we send
    Our love.
    • They all sign it, and their signatures are shown in picture, to be PooH, PIGLET, WoL, RABBIT, KANGA, EOR, BLOT (Tigger, who just hits the page with the quill) and SMUDGE (Roo, who appears to have put his feet into the ink and walked on the page).
  • Eeyore's hilarious comments about pretty much everything.
    • "Gaiety, song and dance, here we are and there we are."
    • "We can play here-we-go-gathering-nuts-in-May with the end part of an ant's nest."
    • "I don't want to complain, but I just do complain."

Return To The Hundred Acre Wood

  • David Benedictus's Return To The Hundred Acre Woods is a bit uneven as a whole, but has some really hilarious parts, one standout being when Owl tries to solve a Crossword Puzzle and gets stumped by "Big bird (3 letters)." He ends up writing "EGL," which he suspects is wrong — but try as he might, he can't squeeze "OSTRIDGE" or even "HORK" into three letters.
  • Rabbit trying to run a Census for the animals of the forest, with predictably disastrous results. Even the animals who are willing or even eager to go along with it, like Tigger, don't really seem to grasp the spirit of the thing:
    "Tigger," said Rabbit, "let’s begin with you."
    "Yes, let’s," said Tigger, bouncing a little, even though he had no idea what was to be begun. He liked to be asked to do things, and he liked to be asked to do them first, and he always said 'yes' because it is much more interesting when you do.
    "Spell it."
    "T-I-GRRRRRRRRR..." And Tigger emitted a ferocious growl.
    "Put your handkerchief in front of your mouth when you do that, dear," said Kanga.
    Tigger counted his paws, and then his whiskers, and then Roo’s paws and whiskers, and then Kanga’s paws and whiskers.
    "Don’t know," he said at last.
    "I’ll put down twelve," said Rabbit.
    "Hooray!" cried Tigger. "Then I can have a birthday!"
    • Christopher Robin, of all characters, unleashes his inner Deadpan Snarker when Rabbit tries to get him to take part in the census.
    Christopher Robin: You already know my name.
    Rabbit: Spell it.
    Christopher Robin: I-T.
    • It gets worse when he tries to include all his Friends-and-Relations in the Census, because he can't keep track of which ones are Relations and which ones are Friends. In the end he tries solving it by inviting them all to his house and offering carrots to Relations and shortbread to Friends — only to discover that nobody wants carrots, so they all say they're Friends in order to get shortbread instead.
  • In a later chapter, under Lottie and Christopher Robin's suggestion, the animals make a Hundred Acre Wood Academy, due to the blundering on both the students and the teacher's end, it doesn't quite go as planned:
    • Eeyore, the headmaster, introduces the schoolday and teaches about eating thistles and having clean feet in boggy patches.
    • Rabbit teaches household management, which consists of "Things that Should and Shouldn't be Folded."
    • Owl attempts to teach latin, but gets frustrated when Pooh and Piglet start asking him to translate words.
    • Kanga attempts to teach geography, but gets Sidetracked by the Analogy explaining the imaginary line representing the Equator. After multiple questions, a frustrated Kanga counts to ten under her breath and then calls for a break.
    • During break, the teachers complain that the students are undisciplined:
    Eeyore: It's mostly the stripey ones.
    Rabbit: It's all of them. I thought Roo would be raised better.
    Kanga: *glares at Rabbit* And what do you mean by that, Rabbit?
    • Ignoring the other teacher's complaints, Lottie teaches dancing, which turns into an Epic Fail when she asks Tigger to hop with Piglet in his arms, which inevitably turns into a bounce which lands on her.
    • Christopher Robin teaches sports. While Tigger and Roo predictably pass High Jump and Long Jump, Piglet runs under the bar and then makes a sandcastle in the pit.
    • When the day is over, Kanga and Rabbit quickly interject that they won't be available to teach next week, with the other animals agreeing. Though Pooh still took to wearing his prefect armband, as did Eeyore his headmaster gown and mortarboard. Lottie meanwhile forgot all about the academy by the next time Piglet asked her about it.

Disney features

  • Piglet's Big Movie:
    • Pooh is distracting Kanga with small talk about whether the animal sitting in a nearby tree is a bird or a fish. The situation is taken from the original novel, but in the movie, Tigger (who was not present for the scene in the book) intervenes with "It looks kinda wiggly! It could be a jellyfish! ...I think it's more of a peanut-butter-and-jellyfish, isn't it?" All of which is amusing, but the real Funny Moment comes in the next scene, where the camera zooms in on Kanga's house... right past a tree where a really happy-looking fish is sitting on a branch.
    • When Pooh and the gang found Piglet's diary, they come across a drawing of Rabbit, who then promptly becomes annoyed and says "That doesn't even look like me!" Said drawing depicts Rabbit pulling that exact same facial expression.
  • Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo has Pooh and the others spring cleaning for Rabbit, after coming in contact with too much dust, Pooh begins the most dramatic, overblown sneeze "that has ever been sneezed in the Hundred Acre Wood", even adding a whimsical little musical number inbetween it all.
    Pooh: Sniffity sniff, whistley wheeze,
    Here it comes, a great big sneeze...
    • Later, Tigger goes tries to convince Rabbit to un-cancel Easter, but Rabbit doesn't even want to hear the word, but Tigger doesn't quite know what he's not supposed to say, leading to this exchange:
    Tigger: Is it...carrotses?
    Rabbit: No.
    Tigger: Rutabegas?
    Rabbit: No!
    Tigger: Thingamawachimahiggetyjinks?
    Rabbit: That's not even a word.
    Tigger: Onomatopoeia? *whips out a dictionary while giving an Aside Glance* And that is a word.
    Rabbit: Why would you ever say that?
    Tigger: Why wouldn't ya say it? *singing* Onomatopoeia! Onomatopoeia! All I wanna be-ah is an onomatopoeiaaaaa~!
    Rabbit: *annoyed* Easter! The word is Easter!
    Tigger: That was gonna be my next guess.
  • In Pooh's Heffalump Movie, Lumpy tells Roo that his name is "Heffridge Trumpeter Bumpet Heffalump the Fourth". Roo asks him how he remembers all that, and Lumpy replies "I can't!"
    • A lot of Lumpy's earliest scenes qualify, since he's so much of an off-the-wall Cloudcuckoolander Keet that even Roo has difficulty keeping up with him.
    • During the rest of the gang's attempts to pursue a heffalump, Rabbit tries to drive one out with his "heffalump call", leading Pooh and Piglet to mistake him for one and capture him in a net:
    Piglet: Have you noticed that heffalumps look a lot like rabbits?
    Rabbit: *folding his arms inside net* And why do you think that is, Piglet?
    Piglet: Oh d-d-d-d-dear! The heffalump knows my name!
    • As Rabbit outlines "his" idea to capture a heffalump, Tigger stands behind him, making goofy faces and doing exaggerated and mocking versions of his hand movements.
    • Roo doesn't think that Lumpy can be a heffalump because he doesn't have the fearsome features that Rabbit and the others described, like horns and a spiky tail.
    Lumpy: Wow, a spiky tail. I wish I had one.
    • Lumpy explains to Roo his conceptions of Tigger and Piglet, which Roo tells him are all wrong. Then, he comes to Rabbit...
    Lumpy: And then there's loud thing and it's got long ears. And he yells at everybody.
    Roo: Yeah, you're kind of right about Rabbit. But he's okay... once you get to know him.
    • While regrouping from their first failed attempt (see above) to capture a heffalump, they hear Lumpy's mother trumpeting. They panic and rush into the log they were resting on. Then, Rabbit then uses Piglet as a telescope by sticking his head out in the log's hole, and when he spots nearby bushes moving, he yells "IT'S COMING!". Cue Rabbit and Tigger sticking their feet out and running like crazy while arguing which way to go... while Piglet is still trapped in the hole.
    • Oh, and the aforementioned heffalump? It's Eeyore, who has just caught up to them... only to find his friends in the aformentioned situation, crashing into things and screaming. His reaction?
    Eeyore: I'm afraid to ask.
    • At one point, Piglet stops screaming to greet Eeyore, managing a "Bye, Eeyore!" right before being pulled back.

Gold Key Comic

  • In "The Lost Echo", Kanga is searching for Roo. Pooh solves the situation by going to her doorstop and yelling "Choc'lit Ice Cream!". Roo instantly appears, but Kanga isn't so impressed.
    Kanga: B-but...
    Pooh: Now don't make me a fibber, Kanga.
  • In "Giant At Large", everyone is driven to panic when a supposed giant is in the wood. Pooh briefly pauses from running in fear to assess the situation and find actual evidence. He finds large footprints. Satisfied, he returns to the panicking masses.
    • Later Pooh discovers the tracks were caused by Piglet's strange new bicycle ran by a track of boots instead of wheels. He finds it Actually Pretty Funny, but innocently tells Piglet he should keep using his vehicle. Gilligan Cut to the other animals chasing after Piglet in an angry mob after finding out the truth.
    Piglet: I see what Pooh means!

Newspaper Comic

  • For some odd reason, Pooh is characterized as being an absolute jerk in the newspaper comic, saying really mean things to his "friends," and generally acting in a very self-centered manner, and sometimes it's not really clear if it's out of naivete or genuine malice. This leads to a lot of out-of-character moments, and they're pretty funny.
    • August 27th
    Pooh: You take yourself too seriously, Eeyore.
    Eeyore: You mean I should learn to laugh at myself?
    Pooh: Why not? Everyone else does.
    • March 28th
    Pooh: Excuse me,'re sitting in my spot.
    (Panel shows that Pooh and Piglet are in a very, VERY wide open space with plenty of space for Pooh to sit)
    • June 11th
    Pooh: Happy Birthday, Eeyore! We're having a birthday party for you this afternoon!
    Eeyore: Oh no! Why do you do this to me, Pooh? You know how parties depress me. All that jollity and merriment.
    Pooh: We know how you feel about birthday parties, Eeyore! That's why we didn't invite you!
    • June 12th
    Eeyore: How was my birthday party I wasn't invited to yesterday?
    Pooh: We had a lovely time, Eeyore!
    Eeyore: I really don't understand how a sensitive person like you can have a good time at a party. I've never gone to a party in my life that didn't turn out to be boring and depressing.
    Pooh: That's funny, Eeyore, the parties you don't go to are a lot of fun.
    • August 8th
    Piglet: I think brains are more important than beauty.
    • September 29th
    Pooh: You're looking very well today, Tigger! And I'll say the same thing to you, Eeyore. Tigger's looking very well today!
    • September 2nd
    (Piglet stands at Echo Point)
    Echo: Hello!
    Piglet: Hello!
    Pooh: Can't you do anything right?
    • June 7th shows that Piglet can be a jerk back.
    (Pooh finishes some exercises)
    Pooh: Whew! Self-improvement is sure hard work, Piglet.
    Piglet: You should have picked somebody who doesn't need so much improvement.
    • January 26th
    Owl: Pooh, I'm giving a speech at the Owl's Club tonight, and I need to keep track of how long I talk.
    Pooh: I've got just the thing for you, Owl.
    (Pooh hands him a calendar)
    • January 11th
    Pooh: (With his arm in a sling) Piglet, would you mind holding this nail straight for me?
    Piglet: Sure, Pooh.
    Pooh: It's hard to fix things with one hand in a sling.
    Piglet: What happened to your hand?
    Pooh: I hit it with the hammer.
    (Pooh is winding up the hammer, and Piglet has an Oh, Crap! expression)
    • March 5th
    Pooh: Hello, Piglet! I was just about to have my lunch! Come on in! You can watch me eat!