Eddie: I'm through with takin' falls and bouncin' off the walls Without that gun, I'd have some fun I'd kick you in the —(vase hits him on the head) Roger: Nose! Smart Ass: "Nose?" That don't rhyme with walls! Eddie: No, but this does! (kicks Smart Ass in the crotch so hard he goes flying into the dip)
This line, after Dolores walks out of Eddie's office in anger:
Eddie: Come on, Dolores, you don't really believe that painted hussy can turn my head? She's just trying to get her hands on the rabbit! Dolores:That's not all she's trying to get her hands on! [In the background, Jessica is inside her car, smiling at Dolores' remark.]
Don't forget the scene with the toon bullets:
Bullet 1: Eddie Valiant! You're a sight for sore eyes! Bullet 2: I ain't seen you for nigh onto five years! Bullet 1: Where ya been? Eddie: ...Drunk.
The smug look on Roger's face when Eddie says "I got no keys for these cuffs!" While we find out Roger could get out when he feels like it, it looks as though Roger doesn't care if he'll be stuck with him forever.
Roger: We're gonna be happy again! Got that?! Happy! Capital H-A-P-P-I! (Impact Silhouette)
Some of the foreign translations of the film manage to keep this joke relatively intact; in the Italian dub, Roger misspells "felice" F-E-L-E-S-E.
The record repeats itself, causing Roger to keeping smashing plates on his head. When Eddie stops it, Roger freezes and has a ridiculous expression on his face.
Roger:Look there is no pain— *smash* no pain- *smash* no pain— *smash* no pain— *smash* no pain— *smash* no pain— *smash* [Eddie stops record] no— [Roger freezes]
Dolores begs Eddie to stop Roger for the sake of her plates. An annoyed and furious Eddie instantly intervenes...and pulls Roger off the counter, causing at least half of the plates to instantly crash on the ground. Her expression is just speechless horror.
The behind-the-scenes documentaries show more, when the other plates fell Eddie sighs and just tossed the plate he had in his hand.
The part where Roger sings "My buddy's Eddie V., a sourpuss you see", the camera pans to an annoyed and grumpy-faced Eddie just standing there.
Acme implies that these two have played 'Hungarian Rhapsody #2' at the Ink & Paint Club many times, and never been able to cooperate long enough to finish the piece.
A Deleted Scene reveals that this was actually All Part of the Show. As Eddie sneaks in backstage, we see two piano movers coming in with a replacement piano. One of them laments that "it makes me sick to think of these beautiful pianos gettin' chopped into match sticks every night by those screwy ducks." Then when Eddie hides inside it, Donald and Daffy test out the new piano and interact quite amiably with each other as they try to figure out why it's out of tune.
"Those ducks are funny! They—they never get to finish the act!"
Best part? Zemeckis was able to sneak some of the era's casual racism past the censors in the scene. Daffy calls Donald(the white duck) a "quacker", and Donald's lisp is bad enough you can easily interpret "doggone stubborn little..." as something else entirely.
Roger enters Eddie's office, who of course, wants nothing to do with him. Eddie's trying very hard to pay no notice but then...
(Roger was about to sit on Teddy's vacant chair.) Eddie:GET OUTTA THAT CHAIR!!! (Roger freezes, terrified and places his hand on his heart.) Eddie: It's my brother's chair. Roger: Yeah, where is your brother anyway? He looks like a sensitive and (side-eyes Eddie) ...sober fellow. Eddie: That's it, I'm calling the cops. (grabs a phone and starts dialing) Roger: Go ahead! Call the cops! (heads towards a door) I came here for help and what do you do? You turn me in! No, no, don't feel guilty about me! (opens the door) So long, and thanks for nothin'!(slams the door, files fall to the floor) Eddie: That's the closet! Stupe!
Eddie:What's up, Doc? Maroon:Valiant, what are you tryin' to do, gimme a heart attack?! Eddie: You need a heart before you can have an attack.
Maroon:[pulls his gun out] Let me see that will. Eddie:[about to have a drink] I told you, I got it. Maroon: I wanna see it NOW! [smacks the drink from his hand, Eddie quietly grabs the seltzer as Maroon reads] "How do I love thee, let me count the ways"? Is this supposed to be a joke!? [crumbles the paper and puts it in Eddie's pants] Eddie: No! This is. [sprays water at his face]
Eddie mocking Bongo the Ink and Paint Club bouncer:
Bongo: (taps shoulder while Eddie is listening at Jessica's door) Whaddya think you're doin, chump? Eddie: Who you calling a chump, chimp? (Jump Cut to Eddie getting thrown into a pile of trash) Bongo: And don't lemme catch your peepin' face around here again!! Got it?! Eddie: (scratches right armpit with right hand) Ooga-booga!
Pretty much the entire opening cartoon that starts the film, which is a master class in animated Rube Goldberg slapstick. The scene suddenly ends when Roger gets yelled at for going off-script by producing Circling Birdies instead of stars after getting hit by a refrigerator. Roger then tries to convince the director that he can see stars, but he still can't get it right after repeatedly bashing himself over the head:
"I can give you stars! Look!" *thunk* (circles and triangles) "LOOK!" *thunk* (bells)LOOOOOOOOOK!!!!" *thunkthunkthunk* (cuckoo clock, butterflies, nothing)
This line, coming from an otherwise-innocent Baby Herman who, a few seconds ago, was acting like a typical baby in the cartoon being filmed:
Baby Herman: (deep, gravelly voice)WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH THAT TAKE?!
"Hey Roger, what do you call the middle of a song?" "Gee I dunno, a [about to crash into a]BRIDGE!!!"
After Marvin Acme sprays (disappearing) ink onto Eddie's shirt with a fountain pen and starts giggling about it, Eddie responds with:
Eddie: You think that's funny? Acme: Oh, it's a panic! Eddie (seizes Acme's tie): You won't think it's funny when I stick that pen up your nose!
Roger hides in Teddy's desk, while he and Eddie are handcuffed together.
Roger: Hide me, Eddie! Pl-pl-pl-pl-please! [Jumps into the bottom side drawer. Then he sticks his head out of the top drawer.] Remember, you never saw me. Eddie:GET OUTTA THERE!!
Eddie keeps hitting his head on the ceiling lamp in the bar's secret room.
Roger: Jeepers Eddie, that almost killed me! Eddie:[BONK] Ow!
Eddie:[grabs Roger by the ears] Crazy toons! [BONK] Oof! Roger: Watch your head! Dolores: I thought you said you'd never take another toon case again, Eddie. What do you have, a change of heart? Eddie: Nothing's changed! Somebody's made a patsy out of me and I'm gonna find out [BONK] why!
In the same scene, Roger trying out the spy-hole and knocking over a bottle with his eyes.
Well it couldn't be helped that the Red Car was drowning out his voice in the first place.
Eddie wonders how Roger found out about his office.
Eddie: Anybody know you're here? Roger: No one! Not a soul! Except... Eddie: Who? Roger: Well, you see... I didn't know where your office was, so I asked the newsboy — he didn't know! So I asked the fireman, the green grocer, the butcher, the baker — they didn't know! But the liquor store guy, he knew! Eddie: In other words: the whole damn town knows you're here!
Because of course the liquor store guy would know where Eddie's office is.
Funnier if you consider the alternate meanings of the last line: Either everyone knows because Roger asked everyone, or they all know because Eddie is an alcoholic and the liquor store owner is a gossip hen.
Roger: Let me get this straight. You think that my boss, R.K. Maroon, dropped a safe on Marvin Acme's head, so that he could get his hands on Toontown?! Eddie (as he finally gets out of the cuffs): Yep, that's my hunch. (to Dolores) Uh, can he stay here for a couple of days? Dolores: He's not going to do anything crazy, is he? (pan to Roger, who's cleaning his ears with a metal file, giggling)
Eddie, with Roger handcuffed to him, has to smuggle Roger to the diner by keeping him stuffed down his trench coat, but Roger can't breathe. So when the rabbit pushes his head out the collar for some air, Eddie manages to stuff him back down before anyone can see him, making a gigantic bulge in his crotch. Except Dolores:
Dolores: So tell me, Eddie. Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Eddie: Cut the comedy, Dolores, I've had a very hard day.
Even better when, after staring in horror for about half a minute, Eddie angrily throws it away mid-lyric.
Even Jessica Rabbit who isn't as loony as other toons expresses humor in her own ways. Her bosom acts as a hammerspace for a bear trap and she's able to fit the frying pan she knocked out Roger with in her small purse. Plus, a possible reason she married Roger is, not only that she truly loves him, but also because of the simple novelty that a goofy-looking, child-like Funny Animal like him having a stoic, sophisticated human sex bomb like her as a wife is funny.
The exact moment Jessica reveals that, for all her looks and sophisticated femme fatale wiles, she deep down has the personality of a toon:
Jessica: Oh no. Where's Roger?! Eddie: Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio. Jessica: No he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk. So he wouldn't get hurt. Eddie: ...Makes perfect sense.
When Benny instructs Eddie to pull a lever that'll enable the cab to dodge the oncoming Toon Patrol, Eddie and Roger can't find it, prompting a sign reading "THIS LEVER, STUPID" to pop out and point to it.
What makes it even funnier is that we get a view of Benny's dashboard during that moment, and there is literally just one lever. Roger and Eddie are obviously too panicked to think straight.
Benny runs over a puddle of Dip during a car chase, damaging his tires and rendering him unable to drive... on his own wheels at least. So, instead, he takes the wheel (as in, the steering wheel) of a real-world car and proceeds to drive it the rest of the way to the final confrontation.
Roger doesn't quite know what Eddie and Dolores are talking about when she asks Eddie to check the probate for information on Marvin Acme's will:
Roger: Yeah, check the probate! Why, my uncle Thumper has a problem with his probate, so he had to take these big pills and drink lots of water... Eddie: Not "prostate", you idiot! "Probate"!
Raoul: My stomach can't take this. This set is a mess. Clean this set up! Get [Roger] out of there! Or seal him up in it! Lose the lights! Say lunch! Cameraman:LUUUUUNCH!!!! Raoul: That's lunch! We're on a half!
A cartoon dive bar building is all drowsy and drunk annoying the adjacent buildings while the toon police station next door looks at him suspiciously.
Lena Hyena. Thinking Jessica Rabbit murdered R.K. Maroon, Eddie pursues her all the way into a Toontown hotel only to find not Jessica, but an ugly, goofy-looking hag that pursues him obsessively.
Apart from her green pumps, Lena still has the same features as Jessica (purple eye shadow, green eyes, red hair, red lips; red, backless dress; and violet high class gloves). Interestingly, they also both have a Species Surname, but while Jessica's is due to marrying a guy with the last name Rabbit, Lena's is probably Just for Pun.
Eddie's Oh, Crap! look when Lena reveals her face is quite amusing too.
It's a brief moment, but Lena is clearly trying to adjust her boobs to make them look stacked again, but they immediately sag and droop to all the way to the floor for a second.
A very small, unnoticeable Freeze-Frame Bonus shows a Creepy Changing Painting of a toon rabbit in Lena's room. When Eddie's peeps through the keyhole, the rabbit is happy and excited when Lena imitates Jessica, but after she reveals her face, the rabbit looks away in disgust.
In the same sequence, even Lena's bed has a repulsed expression.
After plummeting down the building, Eddie ends up being saved from his Disney Villain Death... by Lena, who is still waiting for her kiss.
Just Eddie's disgusted face when Lena plants a big kiss on his cheek.
The recoil of Lena's kiss being powerful enough to send Eddie tumbling yards away along with the "locomotive train" noises she makes as she barrels towards Eddie at full speed.
Eddie finally gets Lena off his tail by peeling and tearing a toon road surface marking, placing a torn end towards a brick wall and having Lena follow it into the wall flattening on impact exposing her polka dot bloomers. This leads to Eddie's Bond One-Liner: "Toons, gets 'em every time."
The Weasels shoot their way into Eddie's office, snooped around and found him at his sink.
Eddie: Hello boys. I didn't hear you come in.
Also, Eddie's cover for Roger:
Smartass:(sniffs the sink) What's in there? Eddie:(holds up a dirty sock) My lingerie. (Smartass hastily covers his nose and backs down)
The "Pattycake Pictures". We are at first meant to assume that "pattycake" is an Unusual Euphemism. Instead, it's actual pattycake.
Even funnier in how Roger rapidly flips through the photos showing a tiny loop animation of Acme and Jessica playing pattycake.
When Eddie is first taking the photos, he's shocked and astonished at the sight he's seeing. At first you might think it's because he can't believe a human is actually having intercourse with a toon (given the sounds Jessica was making), but then you see it's because Acme wasn't having sex and was just literally playing pattycake with her. Eddie probably thought "he gets with a smokeshow like that on the regular and that's what he does?". Part of what makes it hilarious were Jessica's moans; she was actually getting off from it.
Jessica: Mr. Valiant? (Slaps Eddie in the face with anger) I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD OF YOURSELF! AND THOSE PICTURES YOU TOOK!
When Eddie is leaving Maroon Cartoon studios, the hippo from Fantasia is sitting down on one end of a bench. The bench immediately breaks under her weight, sending the (live human) guy on the other end flying into the air. Also sort-of doubles as Nightmare Fuel when thought about afterward.
Eddie: A ladies man, huh? Herman: The problem is I got a 50-year old lust and a 3-year old dinky. Eddie: Yeah, must be tough.
When Judge Doom enters the bar in search of Roger, it sounds like Angelo (the drunk who made fun of Eddie earlier in the film) is about to give away his position, but...
Angelo: Hey... I seen a rabbit. Judge Doom: Where? Angelo: He's right here in the bar. (puts a hand around an invisible presence in the stool next to him) Say hello... Harvey! (everyone but the Judge erupts into laughter)
"Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're telling me that in a fit of jealousy, you wrote your wife a love letter?"
The fact that the very first thing we see of Jessica Rabbit is her bosom poking out from behind a curtain, especially since Eddie is under the impression that she's a rabbit when he does. The look on his face when he sees she's a (human) bombshell is incredulous.
That small moment during Jessica's number when she's on Eddie's lap and her face is mere centimeters away from his, Eddie, completely hypnotized by Jessica's beauty, actually tries to kiss her before she quickly puts his fedora on his face.
Jessica is a voluptuous toon beauty to where even human men lust for her. Before her intro in the film, a crowd of human patrons rush to get a closer seat to the runway shell perform on. Plus, during her number, she gently pushes a human man who is passionately enamored with her back into his seat. Just seeing live-action men visibly aroused by a cartoon woman is sort of funny to watch.
Dolores' stone-faced, tearful read of "A toon killed his brother. Dropped a piano on his head," and the rest of the bar bowing their heads respectfully.
One from behind the scenes: As seen in this video, the scene in which Eddie was kissed by Lena was accomplished by having a crew member pinch Bob Hoskins' cheek, with an incredibly serious look on his face as he does so.