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Funny / Veronica Mars

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From the series

  • "A PONY?!?"
  • This particular line in 1 x 07 is just an example of Logan Echolls' many clever and funny quips:
    Principal Clemmons: Mr. Echolls, can I have a word?
    Logan: Anthropomorphic. All yours, big guy!
  • Pretty much any time Vinnie Van Lowe makes an appearance, but especially his serenading Veronica from the window of his office with a Hall and Oates song.
  • How about Keith's poster: "She's 18, it's legal - Re-elect Don Lamb"? And the fact that he had them prepared ahead of time?
    • Earlier in that episode, when Keith goes to Cliff's hotel room (his note to Veronica: "Gone on puzzling errand"), only to find Cliff handcuffed to the bed.
    Keith: So, can I ask you a question?
    Cliff: She said her name was Daphne.
    Keith: Oh, no no. How did you call me?
    Cliff: Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring.
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  • Also, a particular stoner would like to inform you that he'd make a great bait! In fact, he'd be a "master bait"!
  • "They're probably up there making love. Or playing Dungeons & Dragons. Or both. At the same time."
  • "She's a hooker!"
  • This little gem where Veronica and Mac choose "Canada" when forced to participate in a country-themed dorm party.
  • Before the intro, Veronica in season one: "Yeah, we used to be friends. A long time ago." Cue: A LONG TIME AGO...WE USED TO BE FRIENDS.
  • "Annoy tiny blonde one! Annoy like the WIND!"
  • Dick in the first episode of season two:
    Dick (blurts out across the bus): Miss Dumbass!
    Miss Dumas: It's Du-mas...
  • Veronica goes to Sheriff Lamb accusing Thumper of murder.
    Lamb: But he's got such a cute nickname!
  • From "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough:"
    Dick: Am I drunk?
    Logan: No, dude, you're just special.
    • Jackie from the same episode:
    "Lurking? You mean standing while black?"
  • Veronica's EPIC BURN of Kendall Casablancas in "Look Who's Stalking".
    Kendall: Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.
    Veronica: Like, trouble? With a capital T, which rhymes with C, which stands for
    Keith: Veronica!
    Veronica: I was gonna say cute.
  • Logan gets a stab at Kendall too.
    Kendall: Doesn't this mean anything to you?
    Logan: It does. It means I'm getting laid. And I owe your village a goat.
    • And in another episode
    Kendall: Oh, quit standing there so smug. Tomorrow you're just gonna call me at two in the morning saying you want some company. For your information, that really doesn't satisfy me, Logan.
    Logan: Really? You always come.
  • Logan introducing Kendall to Trina:
    Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
    • For Buffy fans in the audience, it was added funny AND awesome, because Willow finally got the best of Cordelia.
  • In "The Girl Next Door", Veronica is trying to track down her missing neighbor Sarah, and she thinks Sarah's friend Adam, who manages a clothing store, knows something. When he refuses to talk, Veronica calls Weevil, and he and the rest of the PCHers come to the store, generally making a mess of things. Then Veronica walks back in:
    Veronica: Guys! Remember, no white after Labor Day!
    PCHers: (in mock disappointment) Aw!
  • Weevil finds Veronica in front of the trophy case.
    Weevil: If you're lookin' for my trophy, it's back by auto shop.
    Veronica: Lube job? Or...can you medal in stealing hubcaps?
    Weevil: Is this 1970? Rims, baby.
    Veronica: So you got a trophy for a rim job?
    Weevil: Forget it. Look, I got some information for you.
    Veronica: Finally, a Deep Throat to call my own.
    Weevil: I ain't touch'n that one.
  • "Say 'repressed homosexuality!'"
    • From the same episode:
    Lamb: "Veronica Mars is...smarter than me".
    Veronica: Oh, you stop!
  • The Soundtrack Dissonance of Aaron beating up Trina's boyfriend to Dean Martin's "That's Amore."
  • Logan's smartass comments to Veronica when he's trying to get Veronica to help clear him of Felix's murder.
    "Pretend for a moment that your dog's life is at stake."
  • Keith wants to test whether the deputies are actually checking ID's at bars, so he sends Piz and Wallace in with fake ID's with pictures of Jon Bon Jovi and Biggie Smalls.
    "You know we don't all look alike, Mr. Mars?
  • Veronica trying to break into Keith's safe after he changed the combination, and lamenting that Keith is smart enough that there's no way to figure out the code (not a meaningful number, not written down anywhere). When she finally finds the code, hidden in the day planner, she excitedly opens up the safe and gets hit by an ink bomb. Made even funnier by Keith's enthusiasm at her falling for it.
  • Veronica's over-the-top acting at the wig store, complete with cheesy soap opera music. And when she gets caught lying, she simply turns around and walks out.
  • Madison's bug-eyed expression during the elevator ride to Alternaprom.
  • Veronica's impression of a wannabe* Gamer Chick in "The Wrath of Con". She sounds absolutely Adorkable.
    Veronica: Ownage!
  • This exchange between Deputy Sacks and Veronica in "Cheaty Cheaty Death Bang":
    Sacks: The Sherriff would like to ask you a couple of questions.
    Veronica: My answer was final...I will not go to Prom with him.
  • Weevil is trying to convince Logan to let him into an 09er poker game at his house, but he's not overly excited about walking the rich streets with their rich boys because of the danger that would pose.
    Weevil: I could be bored to death.
  • That episode guest starring Paul Rudd, where he tells Keith why he doesn't like The Beatles.
    "They're not musicians. They're tunesmiths."
  • In "Clash of The Tritons," Veronica is being framed for creating fake IDs and is trying to keep Keith from finding out. However, she talks to Cliff about it only to discover that Keith was in the next room and heard it all.
    Veronica: (awkwardly) Hi, Dad. (beat) Their case is fuzzy and circumstantial!
    Keith: (to Cliff) You know the odd thing? Those were also her first words.
  • Mixed with Awesome, Veronica wants to know where the sex tape of her and Piz came from. The guy she’s tracked it to refuses to play ball. So...
    • First, his credit card is declined on his date, forcing his date to cover their dinner.
    • Then he discovers his car on blocks (Weevil “wanders by” and remarks he must have bad karma).
    • He gets back to his dorm room, and the lights won’t turn on.
    • And then Veronica turns on a light and starts singing “Bad Day.”

From the movie

  • "Logan! That girl that always follows you around is here!"
    • And later in the same conversation:
    Dick: "Hey, you get some work done? Your boobs look bigger."
    Veronica: "So do yours."
    • Dick in general, really. To the point where even though he should be one of the murder suspects, given the information Veronica has at one time, he's just too damned silly for even her to consider. When Veronica brings up his possible part in the killing later on, one of the villains disregards it out of hand as if they were clearing up a minor misunderstanding.
  • What Logan has to go through in order to get the stalker girl to drop criminal charges against Veronica.
    Logan: So this is happening.
  • The Cameo. Because while everyone is six degrees from Kevin Bacon, everyone in California is only two degrees from James Franco.
    • And he's more upset about his not getting a copy of a Simarillion script than about his tablet camera being hacked.
  • Here is Rob Thomas showing an exclusive clip from the movie with a cameo from a Kickstarter backer. Can you spot it? They're the one saying "Your check, sir." All of them.
  • Veronica calls Wallace for a favor. Because he's now a teacher at Neptune. And she needs a student's permanent file.
    Veronica: It's not a current student!
  • Veronica brings some of her characteristic snark to bear against Madison at the school reunion:
    Madison: I didn't think I'd see you here.
    Veronica: Well I knew you'd be here. Tell the truth, you've been sitting in that chair since graduation, haven't you?
  • Veronica dragging out the old radio-transmitter bug, only too discover a little too late that whoops, there's actually a station on her frequency now.
    • Less funny when you realize this caused Gia to get shot by Cobb and nearly had the same result for Veronica herself.
  • Weevil making light of Celeste Kane accidentally shooting him then intentionally framing him for attacking her. She claimed he pulled a gun and told her "It's party time!" He said he'd rather be dead than claim he ever said something that cheesy.
  • The movie uses it's PG-13 allowance with Veronica shutting down the stuttering of a wingman in the most entertaining and Veronica-like way possible.
  • Logan objects to Veronica waltzing in to Gia's loft, given how these situations usually go for her.
    Veronica: I'm not gonna break in. I'm just gonna drop by for a hang.
  • Officer Sacks describing his Heel Realization to his former boss Keith is a Tear Jerker. That he compares it to a BBC comedy sketch about Those Wacky Nazis going through a similar realization is actually kind of funny.

From the Hulu revival:

  • Logan instinctively attacks the huge white guy beating up a Middle Eastern guy, and is then quite relieved he correctly guessed who the bad guy was.
  • In Episode 7, Veronica has a dream about a sudden, passionate midnight liason with Leo while Logan is out-of-town. Right before she wakes up, she turns to see Wallace peeping on them with an exasperated "what u doin', girl?!" look on his face.

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