Funny / Undergrads

• Jessie giving Nitz her stuffed bunny Kiki to pet when he gets really irritated living with Cal.
  "PET MY BUNNY!"
  • He finally does, in mid-rant... and promtly calms down and falls asleep in Jessie's bed.
  • Jessie talking about her own roommate problems, since she happens to live with Charity, who's obsessed with her ex Jonah, and constantly rants about him all day and night, including walking around in the middle of the night, while banging on a pot and chanting his name. The latter causes Jessie to put a pillow over her head and blow her brains out.
  Nitz: You made that last one up.
  • During one Charity-inspired rant, Jessie asks if it's true that you get straight A's if your roommate dies in a freak accident. Rocko has a suspiciously specific explanation prepared about how that actually works; it has to be a very strenously confirmed suicide, including suicide note, psychologist records, etc. For the record, Rocko's roommate happens to be Craig, the leader of his fraternity who barely conceals his dislike for Rocko.
• Gimpy setting up his room so that he never has to leave. Ever.
  • That includes communicating exclusively through video chat, an I.V drip so he doesn't have to leave to eat, and a bedpan (which he makes Mump empty for him).
  • He's actually forced to leave in Episode 2, so he can personally pull off a prank at State U, then has to run all the way back while shedding his disguise... which promptly gives him a cold for running around naked in early fall.
• The Risk episode, on so many occasions:
  • The guys are in a Risk game, and Rocko has been defeated, whilst Cal is so completely inept that he a) doesn't realise that Nitz and Gimpy have called a truce against him (keep in mind, when the truce was made, they openly discussed the terms in front of him, and pose for a photo op with the signed documentation) and b) he's tangled up in a sleeping bag. Meanwhile, Nitz realises the only move he can make is to attack Gimpy, so he does. Gimpy sees this as the ultimate act of betrayal, and retaliates with a kamikaze attack. Nitz then points out how stupid this move was, as Cal's forces now outnumber their forces so greatly, they have to surrender.
  • The mere fact that the reason Nitz doesn't want to play Risk specifically is that Gimpy always gets beaten to the point that he starts screaming "KAMIKAZE!" and launching suicide attacks on everyone, which always results in Nitz winning.
  • Gimpy calling on Mump to serve as his technical advisor over radio and watching over surveillance camera. At one point, when Mump suggests Gimpy to form an alliance with Nitz, Mump has to tell him "it was from Star Wars". Funniest of all? Gimpy believes it.
  • And finally, the revelation that the festival at State U has disintegrated into a flaming warzone, all because Nitz was playing Risk, instead of being at the festival to stop one very minute thing from happening.
  • Jessie keeps complaining about how Nitz is always doing everything Kimmy asks him. Also Nitz is always asking favors from Jessie. After hearing how the game works, Jessie immediately joins the game and foils Nitz's escape plan.
  • In the opening scene, Jessie is talking about the carnival, and that Good Charlotte will be performing.
    Nitz: Good Charlotte? What have they done that I might have heard? [The Dougler walks by in the background playing the shows theme song on a boombox]
• Gimpy sends Mump in his place for Christmas so he doesn't have to leave his room.
  "I'm out of the will, but it's worth it."
• From the first episode, when Rocko hallucinates Mump as the Great Gazoo after drinking a can of expired clam juice:
  Rocko: Oh Great Gazoo, what should I do?
  Gimpy: (over Mump's radio) Show some dignity, man! You're making an ass of yourself!
  Rocko: What?
  Gazoo: Sho 'nuff, diggity man. Keep making a jolly old ass of yourself. Dumm Dumm.
• "Good evening ladies, you want some sex in exchange for... sex?"
• The title of Rocko's self-made book: "Things Cal Does That Make Me Want To Kill Him Dead Dead Dead Dead DEAD!"
• Rocko's fake ID◊ reading "I am 21 so drinking is yes." It works completely flawlessly - he gets into the bar without the bouncer even sparing a second glance!
• Rocko tries to sell his sperm for money, and discovers they only accept sperm from people going to good schools like Techerson Tech — Gimpy's school.
  Rocko: Gimpy, can I jerk off in your room?
  Gimpy: (angry face) Rocko!... What do I say every time you ask me that?
• Rocko complaining that he didn't get to feel up the actress he was in an informative date rape sketch with.
  Rocko: What kind of crappy date rape is this?
  • The Dougler is the one running the safe-sex seminar, even though he barely knows what he's talking about and is heavily implied to be a virgin.
  • Cal learning about STDs
    Cal: It says you can get them by sleeping together. Good thing I never sleep with my lady friends, we just play a little game I call unprotected sex
  • Kimmy uses a banana to show Nitz how to put on a condom, which Rocko later eats.
    Nitz: ...where's the banana?
    Rocko: I ate it.
    Nitz: There was a condom on it! [Rocko just stares blankly]
  • The condom becomes a Brick Joke at the end when Rocko's plan to use Charity to make his ex-girlfriend jealous during her visit to the campus backfires massively. Charity kicks him in the crotch after he admits to lying to her, and he coughs up the condom on his own face right when his ex shows up.
• The gang attempting to find free sources of entertainment while their source of income has dried up, which ranges from sneaking into a Jewish shabbat dinner, to attending a crappy Christian rock concert.
• The clique completely falling apart while Nitz is in self imposed exile in his room as Room Guy. Without Nitz to guide them, Rocko has used negative conditioning to turn Cal into a carbon copy of himself and then descended into madness because Cal not being annoying anymore meant he didn't hate him, which went completely against his worldview, Cal has turned feral and decided to live among the squirrels because his new Rocko/Cal persona means women are no longer interested in him, and Gimpy has become obsessed with obtaining Nitz's fame as Room Guy for himself.
  Rocko: And I'm descending further and further into insanity... [the camera pans out, showing Rocko is now wearing a hot dog costume]
• Nitz attempting to create a defining identity for himself to make himself notable to the other students, which consists mostly of grafting the identities of everyone else into a single personality.
• Also from "Identity Crisis", we have Gimpy's increasingly desperate attempts at luring Nitz out of his room, including sending out his sidekick, the portly Mump, dressed up as Nitz' crush Kimmy.
  Mump: Oh Nitz, it's me, Kimmy Burgen, your one true love! Please come out of your room and make sweet love to me!
  Nitz: No, Mump!
• From the last episode, "Screw Week", we have the incredibly crappy student housing the group comes across while looking for options of where to live next semester, such as a cardboard box without water, electricity or air which costs $3,000 a month, and a dilapidated town house with most of its ceiling missing.
  • Part of the Screw Week tradition (people hooking up with their crushes during the last week of school before summer) is that the "Walk Of Shamers" who just hooked up with someone can be easily spotted because they're wearing an item of clothing from the person they just hooked up with. Jessie suddenly notices that a lot of the girls on campus are wearing what looks like Nitz's clothes. Turns out Cal has been handing out HIS clothes to his hookups instead of his own!
    Cal: I'm all out of Nitz's hats, ladies. Take Nitz's boxer shorts.
  • Nitz reacts... poorly to the chance that Kimmy might leave State U if her audition for next year's drama class doesn't go well.
    Kimmy: You're always so calm and collected, like nothing ever bothers you.
    Nitz: [outwardly calm, but his true thoughts show up on a video chat screen]
    Imaginary!Nitz: [begins tearing out his hair] NO, KIMMY!! AHH! [tears off more hair] WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT HER?! AHHH!! [tears off his whole face, revealing the skull underneath] AHHH! WHY DID I DO THAT?! NOW I GOT NO FACE!!
• This gem from Cal about being a mascot.
  This costume gives me great power. Power to install school spirit and make people cheer. But with great power comes great responsibility. I'd be letting the school spirit down if I didn't show, and the school spirit is a ghost who will kill me if I fail. Ghosts are scary guy.
• Rocko attempting to start a sports team rivalry between State U and his own school by himself, despite the fact that his school doesn't even have a football team, and his efforts mostly consist of beating up Cal while wearing his school shirt, which everyone thinks is for a fictitious college. In the end, he crashes the State U/Techerson Tech trivia finals dressed up in a mascot costume of himself to openly challenge any college, or really tough high school, to take on his college.
• Rocko taking over the Reserve Officer In Training class after it turns out Mump of all people is the teacher, and treats it like boot camp.
  Rocko: Okay Mump, I want you to describe to me in detail the worst moment of your life.
  Mump: Well... this one right now is pretty bad...
  • So why is Rocko an ROTC? He stupidly signed up for the program during a college orientation meeting because they were offering free superballs, which he promptly hucked at Cal.
    Rocko: It's sorta complicated!
• Rocko's insistence on treating college life like a college movie, much to his frat brothers' frustration, including hazing himself even though hazing has been banned on campus since the 50's, and refusing to partake in the community service aspects of a frat.
• During the party for the winter break, Cal mentions how he needs a break from all his female admirers. Apparently he's been having so much sex that during his last climax, he only ejaculated air.
• The Dougler, the irritating R.A of Cal and Nitz's dorm, who acts like a male Granola Girl.
• The school newspaper staff, which consists of Kimmy, Cal, Brodie, the Dougler and the med student in charge of Work Study. Aside from Kimmy, no one there cares one iota about the paper or the campus protest club attached to it. The med student is just using it to pad his resume for grad school, Brodie is using their resources to try and get film industry contacts, The Dougler just wants to pretend it's the 60's and Cal is using it to get some alone time away from his ladyfriends.
  • Nitz's trouble with his financial aid eventually balloons into a huge protest rally against the financial aid office led by Kimmy, despite there being no fault on their part (the stoner mail clerk accidentally dropped Nitz's check behind a filing cabinet).
  • The ridiculous bureaucratic nightmare at the financial aid office leads to Nitz falling asleep in line, which is mistaken by Kimmy as a "sleep-in" protest.
• Rocko decides to go sober after one particular night of hedonism lands him in jail while wearing a urine-soaked adult diaper, and the following morning's hangover almost kills him. At the same time, Nitz wants to try drinking so he can join Kimmy and her friends at a local bar. The result? Rocko teaches Nitz about drinking and bar life, and Nitz teaches Rocko about sobriety.
  Rocko: [sips a drink Nitz gave him and spits it out]' AH GOD, I'm sick enough as it is, what was that crap?!
  Nitz: That was orange juice''.
  • First, Nitz tries to get Cal's help to learn to drink. It doesn't go well.
    Cal: "Beer before liquor, get drunk quicker." "Liquor before Beer, you got Pam Grier!"
    Nitz: You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?
    Cal: Nope! Later guy, I gotta have my late-afternoon sex!
  • The world seems to conspire against Rocko keeping sober. On his first day of sobriety, he walks into the frathouse, only to discover it's "Drink All Day" Day, with every room in the house full of some alcohol-related shenanigans.
  • The flashbacks to Rocko's previous pledges to stop drinking after getting a wicked hangover. One of them involves falling off the stage at his high school graduation.
  • This exchange:
    Rocko: Oh, Skid Row Bro!
    Nitz: Huh?
    Rocko: You know, like in The Silence of the Lambs! Skid Row Bro!
    Nitz: That's Quid Pro Quo.
    Rocko: Shut up.

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