- This exchange from Hell for the Holidays:Twayne: I decided I'm going to kill you anyway.
Mark: Wait, what?
And then Twayne proceeding to dismember Mark's decoy clone easily
- "Mrs. Boneraper, Twayne hurt himself!"
- Mark learning how to speak Manbird.Mr. Calametti: Manbird is the most difficult and least popular language on the planet. There's over 500 variations of this phrase alone. Say it loud. Say it proud.Mark: (Hesitantly) Sssuck my balls. (Mr. Calametti slaps him) Ah!Mr. Calametti: You just called my father a coward!Mark: (Cheerily) Suck my... balls!Mr. Calametti: (Pinching his nose) Now you're asking for salad.
- And later...Mr. Calametti: You threw him off the roof!? I thought you were a social worker!Mark: He looked ready! Clearly... he wasn't.
- And later...
- "Sara. No."Twayne: This is gonna be reeeeal freaky.
- The entirety of "Kill, Mark... Kill!", with the focus being on the many, many deaths of the mini-Leonards.Mini-Leonard: Yay, a sleepover! *After getting into a pedophile's windowless van* I regret this decision!
- Mack Maggotbone's advice to Twayne in "Callie and Her Sister", to simply "think of something you like" when having public sex with her.
- And from the same episode... poor, traumatized Doug, having to see Callie's parents reunite in a way that made even Callie cringe!
- After Leonard and Spell-sick Mark joust when Mark stands over Leonard this exchange occurs.Leonard: I can see your whole shlong from down here.Mark: Then you die a lucky man.
- Clone!Mark and his glove of doom.
- Pretty much the entirety of "Mark Loves Dick". Filled to the brim with hysterical Ho Yay.
- When they saw the Kraken, their response: literally pissed themselves. With one of them saying "craaaap."
- The entirety of "The Dork Knight".
- To specify, the episode revolves around Mark getting bitten by a bat boy (an urban legend related to a physical birth defect for those who dont know), and begins to turn into a freakish nosferatu-like creature, which he uses to fight crime, in a ridiculously underwhelming Batman costume, with Dough the koala man as his sidekick.
- A floorboard gag in Sympathy for the Devil starts at the on the surface and ends in Hell. Between the two, we get to see the subway, an underground river, a dinosaur skeleton, and Noah's Ark...in that order.
Funny / Ugly Americans