Return to the main Two Best Friends Play Funny Moments index here.
Miscellaneous And Quick Looks
- Matt, Pat, and Woolie (then just Matt's co-host on Fighterpedia) play an N64 WWF game... with only created characters. Woolie plays as Zubaz (a rejected Street Fighter character and running gag for Fighterpedia), Matt plays as The Shockmaster (a Call-Back to their WWE All Stars video), and Pat plays as Reptile... or at least as close a fascimile as he could make.
- Pat, being Pat, decides to use a Chris Benoit intro for his wrestler. Because "He's invisible in the ground, now!"
Super Best Friends Brawl—Super Smash Bros
- Woolie versus Matt on clothing:Woolie: (as Kirby) Why is the gorilla even wearing a tie?Matt: WHY ARE YOU WEARING NOTHING?!
- "Show me the Sex Kick."
- "Oh 'cause it's so sex.
- Their repeated allegations that Smash Bros isn't really a fighting game, which eventually morphs into the idea that Smash Bros isn't a video game, period.
- "Maybe the item was the courage in all of us. *cue a clip from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann*"
- As Matt knocks Woolie, playing as Samus, out of the ring: "Women can't vote! Get outta here!"
- Pat references Solid Snake: "He's the guy with the full carton of cigarettes in his stomach right now."
- Matt mentions a mech character he likes so much that he'd like to have sex with it, which of course causes them to start making references to Skeet Fighter.Matt: I like your rail gun so good, gurl.
- Pat wins one of the matches and starts a paraphrased version of Loki's speech from The Avengers when he ordered the normal people to bow before him.
- "Look at Snake. Stupid sexy ass."
- They discuss the idea that Metal Gear Rex and Samus Aran's suit have openable panels designed to have sex through. Cue onscreen pictures pointing out the locations of said panels.
- Pat's completely deadpan responses to Woolie's gloating:Woolie (as Samus): You charged that shit up, and I sent it home!Woolie: Do you see these guns!?Pat: You're playing a video game!
Super Best Friends Brawl—Worms 2: Armageddon
- On the topic of the random map generator:Woolie: How about we just do a map where three of your guys are in a super-protective dome, away from everybody else?Pat: Why only three, why not four?Matt: Gotta keep hating on that RANDOM generator!Woolie: *Beat* ...well then, fuck Worms! Let's just put the controllers down and play DICE!Pat: Fuck it, let's just take out knives!
- After Pat Shoryukens Hitomi J-Cup into the water:Woolie: The Hooker with a Heart of Gold.Matt: She's not a hooker, she's a classy lady!
- Matt is aiming an airstrike near Pat's worm, just as Pat shoves Matt's controller to try to throw off his aim. This causes Matt to hit the fire button, which hits the worm directly. However, Pat's worm survives the blast... until the knockback of the explosion causes Pat's worm to land on a landmine, which sends the worm flying off into the ocean. Pat then claims that he didn't shove Matt, it was an epileptic seizure.
Super Best Friends Brawl—Super Bomberman 5
- During a match, Woolie gets trapped while riding the minecart. He proceeds to not tell anyone and deny ever getting stuck after Pat notices that Woolie is stuck.
- During one of the matches, in apropos of nothing, Matt decides to parrot out a line from Ke$ha's "We Are Who We Are"— specifically "Don't mess with us; got Jesus on my neck-a-lace". Pat proceeds to laugh so hard that his Bomberman dies almost instantly.
Super Best Friends Brawl—Mario Party 9
- The shit-talking starts pretty early in the game, with Woolie calling Pat's first dice roll (a 4) "a mediocre roll for a mediocre man". This comes back to bite him in the ass when he rolls a 2:Pat: What's shittier than mediocre? Woolie, I guess.
- After spending pretty much the entire game in last place, Woolie jumps to first after taking half of Matt and Pat's mini-stars in a Bowser challenge. Between that and several bonuses, he ends up crowned the Superstar. Matt and Pat take it very well.Pat: I was robbed of this victory! I would like to appeal this to the Mario Party committee! I have allegations of doping and jury-rigging!
Super Best Friends Brawl—Anarchy Reigns
- The character select screen introduced in this video was rather hilarious; all of the fighters (Matt, Woolie, and Pat excepted) being callbacks to prior videos, including a nightmare Basking Shark, Zubaz, Hitomi J-Cup, the Fireaxe, and the Mummy Lobster.
- The post-match screen usually displays the standings of each person, showing how many games they won. However, after Pat wins the third match in a row (out of the four needed to claim victory), it simply says "FUCK".
- The third match begins with Pat (reveling in his winning streak and playing Big Bull) starting next to Woolie (playing human-sized Leo), isolated from Matt and the CPU player.Pat: Hey look, there's Woolie over there!
Woolie: ...Fuck. Why am I one-on-one with him!?
Pat: (Giving chase) Run! Run, Woolie, Run! Run for it!
Woolie: Why am I one-on— I'm out. Fuck it, fuck it, nope, nope. I'm not- I'm not doing it.
Pat: Does everyone remember him talking big about his "fighting spirit" and all that shit?
- Woolie strikes a few poses as Bayonetta, charges up a rushing attack, and then proceeds to completely miss Pat and go flying off the stage.
- The ending of the last fight is pretty funny. Matt and Woolie have teamed up to prevent Pat from making a clean sweep of all 4 rounds. The CPU ends up winning the round, but the rules of scoring say that the player in second will take the point for the round, currently Matt, who is celebrating and gloating at this. After each fight, the game gives out bonus points based on various stats during the round, most of which keep going to Pat, leading to this...Matt: Anyway, we finally stopped him.
Pat: (As he overtakes Matt) Hey Matt.
Pat: Check the score.
Woolie: Wait, what the fuck?
- Once his name hits the top of the leaderboard, Pat lets loose one final, scathing taunt:Pat: Are we gonna call this Brawl or Scrublords? Because it looks like fuckin' Scrublords to me!
- Once his name hits the top of the leaderboard, Pat lets loose one final, scathing taunt:
- In an epic display of sore loserdom, after the final score recap, the last couple seconds of the video are a picture of Pat in a bicycle helmet with the heading "Even the biggest retards can be winners!" while cartoony music plays in the background and children cheer.
Super Best Friends Brawl—Mario Kart
- Pat's pre-Brawl bio claims that he won the previous game "by the skin of his teeth".
- During the Rainbow Road race, Pat starts violently losing his shit over the chain chomps on the track.
- He also never once says their actual name, always calling them "chomp chomps". Matt and Woolie never correct him because they find his rage too amusing.
- Woolie mentions two other friends by name.Pat: God dammit, don't say people's real names! [scattered chuckling] You fuckin' idiot!
Woolie: Like James Small?
Pat: Yeah, like James Small! [laughter] James Small isn't a person!
[cut to "actual footage of James Small being led off-stage"]
- The group then switches over to Double Dash and quickly become befuddled over the game's nigh-incomprehensible mechanics. It gets to the point that Woolie finds himself in first place, and has no goddamned idea how he did it.Woolie: Why Am I first!?
Pat:*Matt laughs*That's how we know!
Matt: That's the real question!
Woolie: I did nothing to earn this!
- During the Battle Game, which Pat loses first:
- At the end, Matt waxes poetic:Matt: I dunno. Did I win? What is winning?
Woolie: ...when you really think about it.
Matt: But we keep fighting! To find that answer!
Pat: OH GOD SHU— *cut to the end*
Super Best Friends Brawl—Power Stone 2
- The match suffers not one but two delays from technical difficulties.MATCH DELAYED DUE TO DREAMCAST BEING COLD SHITMATCH DELAYED DUE TO WOOLIE BEING A TIME VAMPIRE
- Pat continually complains about never playing Power Stone before, Woolie and Matt take this to full advantage.
- After Matt wins the Brawl he thanks thanks the viewers for coming out and watching them while the other 2 contenders are booing. He then proceeds to show that he has the most wins out of all the brawls in the aftermath.
- Matt and Woolie repeatedly saying "Oh no!" like the announcer does when someone loses a Power Stone.
- Pat's Salty Johns! They'll make you say "I don't know how to play the video game!"
Super Best Friends Brawl—Perfect Dark
- The intrusive X-Box pop-ups.
- Regular jabbing at Ken Lobb and the game's Klobb Prop Recycling.
- Pat accidentally suicides by stepping on his own proximity-mode Dragon.
- THIS GAME WAS WRITTEN ON PAPYRUS
- The realization in the first round that they didn't set any win conditions.
- Some of the quotes from the first match.Matt: I've got no weapons, it just gave me bullets!
Woolie: I'm afraid of every door.
- Everybody getting lost in the dark and twisted Temple stage.Matt: This game is dark and (Melisandre clip of "full of terrors").
Pat: I mean, you could say it's only- it's almost perfectly dark.
- "When Woolie is nervous, he crouches, therefore making other people nervous."
- Pat getting a little too giddy during the final match.
- The Slowest-Moving Rocket Ever
Super Best Friends Brawl—Def Jam: Fight for NY
- Right at the beginning:Woolie: Black People: The Game! Get ready!
- Matt reveals that he actually knew obscure white rapper "Bless" as a teenager as both went to the same high school and took a drama class together. He reveals Bless was actually a very lazy student who never came to class and Matt had to play all of his parts for him in Drama, giving Matt a great score in the class, while Bless acted like an entitled douche expecting a grade at all at the end of the semester. As a result of Bless now fading to obscurity and Matt going on to become something of a YouTube celebrity (minus the huge ego) Matt is the one who got the last laugh.
- On a somewhat meta sense, after the episode was posted a bunch of fans started to edit Bless' Wikipedia article by saying Bless had a new single coming soon called "Matt and the Salty Boyz."
- In the first match, this happens:
- Mortal Kombat
Matt: These ninjas... they're everywhere!
- The continuation of the Walken!Smoke impression.
Matt: I just lost the match!
- "I love my tits slathered in crimson!"
- Heavy Rain
Matt: Wow, they spent way too much time making that bird.
- Matt and Pat get a little drawn to the bird in Ethan's house.
Pat: That bird is, like, a major plot point. (beat) That bird's the killer!
- Duke Nukem Forever
Pat: 3DRealms can't animate for SHIT!
- When the twins in Duke's apartment walk away, the animation is so bad that the two can't hold in their laughter.
- Man vs Wild: The Game
Matt: I asked the tree for some water and I got some.
- Matt getting water from a tree
Pat: Bear Grylls is not some mystical shaman!
Matt: Oh really? Because he drinks his piss!"If you see a lion and this bush, jump into the lion."
Pat: (Pat has just made Bear zipline down a slope and he's noticed the parachute that he landed in, which is colored blue white and red) ...now look there's the French flag over there! I'm in France!
- MY MIC SOUNDS NICE, CHECK ONE!
- This exchange:
Matt: (immediately) America.
Pat: No, that's the...it's the...Fr-
Matt: (Pat grabs onto a branch and it randomly breaks) No, this is completely useless and you just broke it!
- Pat failing utterly at making traps, particularly his first attempt:
Pat: (cracks up for a bit) What the hell?!
(Bear Grylls is making some sort of motion, his back to the camera)
- Matt finding the way to make Bear drink his own piss.
Matt: I thought he was peeing in something.
Pat: Me too.
Matt: (Bear finishes doing whatever he was doing) What was that? (Matt opens his rucksack then sees that his snakeskin canteen is now full. The info says "This canteen is filled with my urine". After a bit, Pat begins laughing hysterically) ...I found it.
- The Deus Ex RoboCop easter egg video:Pat: [notices that one of the cops is called "Detective Alex Murphy"] But THAT'S RoboCop!
Matt: I KNOW!
Murphy: Nice digs! Hey, you ever heard of this 80s movie? Anyone ever tell you you got that "movie star" look about you?
Pat: Why is RoboCop telling you that you're RoboCop?
Cop: Did we just go into a time warp or something?
Matt: I THINK WE DID!
- LA Noire
Pat: I thought it felt like butterflies caressing my naked body! (beat; through laughter) ...What the fuck am I talking about?
- This little bit:
Matt: (timidly) I don't know...I didn't say anything 'cause I was worried you might go nuts.
(Pat finally loses it)
- Matt and Pat discussing the term "gams".
- Punch-Out!!Matt: He's using the combined power of Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox and Pamela Anderson!
Pat: So he's gonna shake his stupid funny tits at you?
- Woolie swooping in with magic to Kill Steal every boss before anyone else can.
- Pat, sterling cleric that he is, trying to use all of his heals on himself and getting angry when Matt "steals" one.
- The entire rafting segment.
- Liam politely thanking Pat for healing him and Pat calmly saying you're welcome, followed by an uncomfortable Beat before everyone talks about how weird that was.
- All the final boss the team try to unleash a Team Special Move on the final boss... And get killed again and again.
Aliens Vs Predator
- They talk about how they liked the game above and this comes up:Matt: It had a really good ending, too.
Pat: Where Matt is dead, that is my favorite ending.
Matt: It is the best ending.
- In the end:Woolie: Now Tina, Lin and Jerry are all in a love triangle like Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura.
Pat: OH, SHUT UP!
- Throughout the playing, Liam trolls everyone super-hard, making them quite butthurt.
- The disastrous fight against the red dragon that began right off due to Liam's trolling.Woolie: LIAM, YOU SHIT!
- As the four run across a George Kamitami styled mermaid, they react with hesitation, but make a stunning realization about the Mermaid Problem:Matt: This game is innovative, because it stops the debate!
- Pat's nonstop, goofy references to twerkin'.Pat:: I'm working! I'm working on twerkin'.
Matt:: Pat's new album.
Pat:: Who wants to twerk with gingers? (Weakly) It's not against the law anymore. I'm dead.
- When they run into the Hobgoblin Chef.Matt & Liam: Pat's mom?
Woolie: What's she doing here?
Pat: ... She's really nice to you guys! That's the worst part!
Liam: I've never met her!
Matt: She was nice to me last night.
Pat: Fuck you! Fuck! You! That is not appropriate!
- Also:Pat:: Yo, I got a 40 of Crack!
Fatal Fury Final
- The now-running narrative that Geese Howard is Robert Goulet (played by Will Ferrell), which carried into that weekend's Saturday Morning Scrublords.
Spider-Man & Venom: Separation Anxiety
- Part 1:
Woolie: I like (Anti Venom's) look-
- Woolie and Matt mark out over the main characters' chiseled buttocks.
- Matt's various mocking digressions into Dark Age ephemera, as well as his Lemony Narration for the stage transitions.
- The creation of the Lie Gem, the most powerful of all infinity gems.
- Spider-Man glitches out and hovers in the air for a bit, motionless with arms slightly outstretched.Matt: I HAVE ASCENDED!
- Woolie makes Venom shake that booty.
- Woolie asks who was behind the Life Foundation, then Matt tells him it was "guy in suit". Then he changes it to "Man-Guy".
- In the clip of J. Jonah Jameson explaining why he hates Spider-Man from the nineties' cartoon, Matt put a big "FUCK YOU" over the final seconds of the explanation.
- TRAP ROOM!
- The Liefeld Foundation, which apparently does nothing but draw shitty comic book art all day.Matt: What's this? We've spent thirteen billion on pouches?
- Matt baits Woolie with a spin on Duck Season, Rabbit Season:
Matt: You like the strut!
Woolie: I like the way it feels... No, wait, I fucked that up.
- Part 2:
- The mythos of Trap Room only grows...Woolie: Hey, Matt - Matt, where are you?
Matt: I'm in the Trap Room!
Woolie: Who brought you there?
Matt: Trap Room!
- Woolie uses Hawkeye only for nothing to happen.Matt: Yeah, I bet it didn't!
- This is then followed by a skit of Woolie touting Ultimate Hawkeye's praises.
- Matt starts talking about Silver Sable and then Woolie proceeds to Suddenly Shout "FUCK SILVER SABLE!". Matt treats this as a big, controversial statement.
- Woolie suffers from cryptomnesia briefly, remembering a shitty drawing of Carnage that he thought he drew, but then realizes it was actually his friend John. He proceeds to overcompensate by calling out his friend several years later.Woolie: It was like a stupid pigeon-symbiote. (...) John's a shitty artist! Fuck John!
Matt: Fuck... Trap Room!
- The mythos of Trap Room only grows...
- The Special Effects Failure during jump scares in Ju-On: The Grudge, one of which they point out looks a lot like Toasty.
- They practically spend all of Calling wandering around a school, occasionally freaking out at shadows but not really running into anything intentionally scary - until it turns out they just forgot to look through a window, at which point they receive a Jump Scare and the video ends.
- In Condemned: Criminal Origins, shortly after receiving instructions on the taser, Pat relates a story about how he was hit with a stungun in school by a kid who didn't like him. He ends it with "It hurt a lot. Hey kids, don't get hit with stunguns or tasers. They hurt like crazy! I had a rough time!".
- Plus, their excitement at finding some and using some of the more powerful weapons.
- The huge Jump Scare midway through Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth followed by several minutes of panicked breathing and exasperated wondering about how a guard can scare them so much when all he ever does is make them leave the area.
- In Amy, Matt is mocking a character with a stereotypical New York accent, when he mentions the restaurant chain Olive Garden. Pat immediately flips out, saying that he knew Matt was going to bring up Olive Garden.
- They often make fun of the shadows in Man Hunt due to how obvious they are as well as how easily they fool their enemies.Pat: (After an enemy loses Matt in plain sight) What?! R-REALLY?!
- Encounters with the creatures in Candles are not so much Pat freaking out, as much as Pat and the monsters awkwardly staring at each other.Pat: Uh... hey...
Pat: WOAH! I was gonna make a joke about sticking my dick through the door.
- Pat tempts fate by getting close to a closed door while Matt is telling him to stay away from it, only for the imp on the other side to clip through and KO him.
Matt: Well, he grabbed it!
- Matt and Pat encounter Suzie in Killer7.
- Pat spends the entire time playing Resident Evil Remake gushing about how awesome it is.Pat: Look at this FMV! Look at the blades of grass!
Pat: No, it's not that she's hot, it's that she so well 3D-modeled, that she's hot.
- Also, there's this line about Jill and the game's impressive graphics:
Matt: I remember pausing to check if there jiggle physics on...Chris!
- Again about the graphics:
Pat: There are no jiggle physics in this game.
- "IT'S ALL GONE TITS UP NOW!"
- Matt's incredibly deadpan story of how he got his copy of R Emake.
- In F.E.A.R. 2, after waking up in a hospital after the ghost nuke went off, running around to find the place devoid of life and looking like a war zone, and seeing a woman shot to death, they come across a friendly face.Woman: Sergeant Becket! Thank God you're okay! I'm sure you have a lot of questions.
Pat: Yeah, like "What the fuck?!"
Matt: WAH! JEEZ!
- Also in F.E.A.R. 2, Matt walks through a doorway, and freaks out at the sight of a bottle of window cleaner. Matt is able to play it off before Pat taunts him for it.
Pat: *confused* What?
fires a single round that plips the bottle off the cart
- While playing Silent Hill 3, Matt and Pat discuss what would happen if Kojima got hold of the series. They come to the conclusion that the Terminator would appear in the game.
Matt: If I was a girl in a haunted amusement park, I would not be a girl in a haunted * stumbling over his words* music park.Pat: A music park?
- Pat's story of how he and his friend were scared while walking in the fog.
- During Dead Space, after watching a Necromorph get crushed by a closing elevator door, Pat lampshades how that door was very useful for him, but in the context of the Dead Space universe, people have got to die all the time in elevator accidents.
- When playing System Shock 2:Pat: Shit's poppin' off in this System Shock world, now I'm gonna be a System Shock girl.
- When the two come across a door sealed by "strong power" in Fatal Frame 3:
Shitstorm 2: The Shittening:
- At the end of Anna, Pat is so freaked out he actually voluntary quits the game.
- Matt refers to Silent Hill Homecoming, not by the intended phrase "Downcoming" (their nickname for it during their playthrough), but with "Homepour."
- Their inability to understand the Japanese during Night Of The Sacrifice.
- At the end of video, they discuss how creepy abandoned tunnels are and who often dies first horror films. Then right after they turn around to see a mannequin right behind them, prompting them to lose their shit.
- Dreadout: The entire sequence with the giant ghost monster, which Pat can't stand being around long enough to solve the puzzle.
- At one point Pat mistakes a scare as a bug, only to be quickly proven wrong.
- Curse: The Eye of Isis: A ninja fires a crossbow bolt at the protagonist, hitting a nearby pillar. There's a note attached: NEXT TIME, I WON'T MISS. Matt is in hysterics, Pat is dead silent.
- Faced with endless locked doors in Cold Fear, Pat drinks his way through an entire wine cooler.
- Their reactions to all of the strangeness in Rule of Rose.
Matt: Butterflies don't take too kindly to fisting...
- Their collective reaction to the Filth Room.
- They also discuss why Pat brings up the "romantic big rubber fist" every so often.
- After all the Your Mom jokes Matt has leveled at Pat, Pat finally gets to answer during the episode of The X-Files: Resist or Serve.
- Pat actually conceding that Matt's inability to navigate a game is not to blame - for once - whilst they play Dino Crisis 3.
- The arrival of a ridiculously fast Jason cutting through the lake water as Matt attempts to row during their Friday the 13th installment; Climaxes brilliantly when Matt loses his last character and Jason decides to add insult to injury by streaking across the water three times.
- Their confusion with the Portuguese language when playing Insanidade and Pesadelo. It starts with them mistaking it for Spanish and it ends with them becoming fond of the word "jogo". Specially funny if you are a native Portuguese speaker and had to face English games before learning the language.
(Upon opening a door, the monster dashes by, a message appears, and a 7 minute timer begins.)
- However, they are able to guess what some of it means, such as this priceless moment from Pesadelo:
Pat: "Now there's a timer?"
Matt: *reading* "'Exploda'!?"
Pat: "I understand that!"
- Each game seems to vary in how scary they are but each video ups the ante how strange they can get. It gets to a point where either Matt or Pat will exclaim that the game they are playing is the strangest one they've played so far.
- When all four of them decide to play Luigi's Mansion, Liam pulls off a shy guy's mask, this causes an... odd conversation to result.Matt: "You can't do that, that's like ripping off a goomba's face and it's Princess Peach on the inside."
Pat: "No, it's like ripping off a Goomba's face and it's Princess Peach's butt."
Matt: "You mean like Gutsman's ass?"
Pat: (Giggling uncontrollably)''' "Yeah, if you rip off a face it's just Gutsman's ass underneath!"
(Pat absolutely loses it)'
- Pat then remembers a scene from the show where people get turned into lions
- Also during the Luigi's Mansion episode, Liam mentions something about Platinum developing Persona 5. Pat's fangasm is immodest and hilarious.
- Rise of Nightmares sees Matt cheerfully batting a skull back and forth in his character's hands, while talking about the game Mr. Bones, ignoring Pat's enraged demands that he continue the game.
- A secret comes to light during Iledefonse:Pat: I don't want to ask Plague anything, Plague just sends me pictures of spiders at 3am.
Matt: (laughing) Yeah I know, I told him to do that!
Pat: (prolonged groan)
Shitstorm 3: Shittribution
- In part 2 of the Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth week, the ramblings of a drunk Irish guy prompts Matt and Pat to discuss whether a potato or a murderous fish monster would make a better wife. They ultimately decide that the fish monster wins since it doesn't have freaky "potato eyes".
- The Running Gag of the Best Friends constantly pointing out how the Fishmen barely even try to hide their monstrous nature.
- Since a major location in the game is called Arkham Asylum, the Batman jokes were inevitable.
- Their reaction to finding the first blatantly inhuman fishman during the escape sequence in the hotel; They initially think it's lying dead in bed, but upon approaching it, it starts making inhuman screeching noises, freaking both of them out.
- The discussion of the infamous water bug in the X-Box version coming back to haunt them as they try for about five minutes to figure out a single puzzle, Pat arguing with Matt and both of them confused as to why the character won't get in a pit that seems empty. Turns out the pit is actually still full of water that they can't see.
- Pat absolutely freaking out when Brian Burnham, who they thought was bugged and wouldn't leave his jail cell, turns out to be standing right next to them.
- The utter confusion from the Best Friends during Escape From Bug Island as a gigantic gorilla appears from nowhere. As Matt remarks, it's called Bug Island, not Skull Island.
- Matt getting blown up by ant bombs repeatedly while trying to collect ant bombs.
- The appearance of actually pretty terrifying human-faced dog-men-things during the cave section of Escape From Bug Island and Pat's reaction to them in particular; Made hilarious at the end when the score section reveals the name of the monster and Matt joyously bellows "CANINE-MEN!!".
- Their reaction to the "Cave of Time" that sends you back to the beginning of the game to Set Right What Once Went Wrong.
- Pat revealing that upon attempting to find out the length of the game to see if it could be completed in their seven installment limit, one usually reliable website had no results, meaning that no-one else has bothered completing the game or considered it worth providing information on.
- The return of the infamous British accents for Rule of Rose.
- During part 4, while following an escaped rabbit, they open a door and find Gregory Wilson staring at them.
- What scared Pat the most times when playing Five Nights at Freddy's? Accidentally bringing up the video screen.Pat: [sounding absolutely terrified] I'm a brave man!
- Also, after having thought that different events in the game only triggered at certain times, they get jumped by Foxy almost immediately in the last two minutes of the video.
- Matt at one point insists that Foxy's going to scream down the hall, enter the office and use an Astral Finish.
- Playing the indie game Phobia, the game's ambience combined with a complete absence of any sort of jump scare has Pat so terrified that near the ends he sounds like the slightest loud noise would make him keel over. And then the game crashes on them, much to Pat's joy.
- Pat flipping out when he realizes he forgot to turn off Steam notifications during Among the Sleep.
- Pat openly declaring that the only reason he isn't joining Matt and Woolie in shitting himself during their play of P.T. is because his girlfriend helped him complete it prior to playing.
- Woolie actively getting freaked out and demanding that Matt look away from the freakish fetus-monster. Then Matt telling it to shut up while he tries to solve doors.
- Part 9 of the Rule of Rose playthrough gives us Matt's grand reversal of Pat's attempts to push genital sweat as the "new lore."
- In Part 10 of the Rule of Rose playthrough, Pat makes a major breakthrough: pressing the select button opens up the map. This happens after hours of gameplay involving Pat getting hopelessly disoriented. The little sigh he gives really seals it. As one commenter put it, this is officially Pat's fire axe-throwing moment.Pat: I feel like new games have made me dumber.
- Also in Part 10:Pat: [having just finished a very weird tangent] This is vile. This is vile, we have to start the episode over.
Matt: It's not great.
Pat: Okay, well it's too late now.
Matt: Ah, soldiering on
Pat: [laughs] I love the idea that there are actual, like, dozens of failed episodes
Matt: "Doc, it's a page-one rewrite."
Pat: Remember that time we spent an entire forty minutes of Chrono Trigger screaming about the Illuminati and lizard-people? And I had to remove it? [quietly] At their behest.
- Also in Part 10:
Shitstorm 4: Scariness Marathon
- The Powerdrill Massacre contains one of the earliest deaths in the entire Shitstorm and sets up the screen static that serves as a proximity alert for the killer in the house (as Matt explains multiple times). Then Pat finds a narrow hallway.
- Pat's constant freaking out when cutesy, cardboard cutouts animals jump out at him in Spookys House Of Jumpscares. Most notably his high-pitched scream that causes him to bail.Pat: Alright, we're done!
- Pat's never-ending manly screams especially when he's spooked by Specimen 1.
- As they are being chased by Specimen 3, they try to remember what it looked like and realize that it must be the creepy giant spider thing. As they are discussing this, a jumpscare of a cartoon spider pops out in front of them, scaring both of them. The same exact thing happens again at the end of the video, prompting Pat to quit.
- During their pursuit by Specimen 4, Specimen 1 jumps the gun, leading them to stop to taunt the failed jumpscare, only to freak out as they turn and realize Specimen 4 has not stopped chasing them.
- The two decide to return for the DLC "Karamari Hospital", and continue their cowardice. Notably when they are in the the basement, Pat is talking, when a giant deformed floating baby head slowly floats towards them causing Pat to become speechless.Matt: What the fuck that's the head of a God Hand!
- The intro to SOMA is a rollercoaster of emotions for them; they are baffled that the prologue actually takes place in 2015 (and not the distant future), amazed that it takes place in Canada and horrified that it takes place in Toronto.
Shitstorm 5: The Shitsurrection:
- The first intro has Zack feasting on Matt's face before turning on Pat. He leaps at Pat and punches through his chest, only to get stuck halfway through. This is exactly what Pat wanted to see in the Nier playthrough.
- The second intro is more unsettling than anything, but Woolie as a fire and brimstone preacher declaring Pat's being punished for the evil of pre-marital sex is worth a chuckle.
- The fourth intro isn't all that funny until you realize who the cast is: Zubaz as the killer; Lucky Ted as the boyfriend; and Anne Intense Opinionated Alt-Chick.
- The couple is also watching the original Shitstorm.
- In Anatomy, Pat freaks out and start cussing when the tape hints that he has to go the basement.
- Early on Pat declares it's almost certainly going to be the type of game that makes him emit the patented-manly-Pat noise - meaning his girly whimpers.
- Pat's way to listening to the tape is to jump on the table his back to the wall.Pat: Oh, fuck you Matt.
Matt: I didn't develop this.
Pat: Yes you did.
- In Nightcry Pat is delighted when the guy claiming his hand is stuck in the vending machine is not only actually stuck but is pulled in with a shower of blood until just his legs are sticking out.
- In Extermination, Matts insistence that the obviously scientific enemies are the result of some kind of curse or other supernatural phenomenon.Matt: And the next time we play something supernatural, Ill be like ah, well, its a biochemical infection. Were playing, like, Fatal Frame. Aw, man, all these guys were infected by that transparent disease that allows them to float. Good thing I got this secret camera that was developed by the FBI!
Matt: Its a ghost train!Pat: No, its n- st- fuck i- God! Its not a ghost, man!Matt: Yeah, see?Pat: No, its gooey, and its danger and flammable!Matt: Danger, and filled with curses.Pat: No, shut up!Matt: (laughs)
- And later, during a cutscene showing a runaway train:
Pat: Aw, crap, I gotta get away! From the ghosts!(Pat, unable to find an exit, runs back into a wall as the train collides with him, causing a game over and sending the boys into hysterics.)
- And immediately later when the train breaks through the wall ahead of them:
- In Corpse Party, Matt's doing the Summon Bigger Fish bit from "Bart the Mother", except he replaces gorillas with pandas, and says that in the summer the pandas simply burn to death. This makes Pat put down the controller to go laugh in a corner.Liam: The intent is that the, like that's on purpose? That's a lot of money...Pat's put down the controller.Matt: Pat's just fucking gone.Liam: Pat's just fucking-(Pat starts laughing)Liam: You know they're like uh, like one of them protected species things, right?Matt: They recently got off the endangered list.Liam: Good for them.Matt: Not for long though.Liam: Yeah.(Pat laughs harder)Liam: We can solve that.Pat: Just, the image of the sun coming over the horizon all these pandas bursting into flames!Liam: It's like Judgement Day, they're all "gotta get on the fence".Matt: They're vampires.Pat: I can't, I can't, I can't...Matt: We have to ship the pandas during the night.
- During Nightmare Creatures II Pat begins demanding a fatality in a nasal voice constantly.
- When Matt says the game's fun, Pat responds it's not; they're making it fun by acting hype over the fatalities. Pat states at several times throughout the episodes he doesn't want the save data to "infect" his PS3.
- For Spookycuffs The Black Heart episode Pat starts saying they know somebody who watched Tremors with them and wears blackface. In an attempt to back it down he brings out the biggest bus ever and throws Japan under it. He can't stop giggling when he realizes how out of control it got.
- The protagonist of Cursed Forest has a habit of making some rather melodramatic gasps at any change in the environment. Matt has a field day with this by deliberately putting him into situations that make him gasp and imitating him in an even more exaggerated manner.
- For the Dreadout episode Pat is yelling at Matt to pull out the phone for the flashlight.
- Pat's disdain for Dead Space 3 is evident from the start and continues throughout the episode while Matt happily points out the waist-high cover and references Call of Duty.
- Pat himself is a fan of Dead Space and Dead Space 2, and does make some nice comments on 3, intermixed with a ton of rage.
- At the start of the game, Pat and Matt bet on when Necromorphs will show up; figuring human enemies will come first. The first enemies they encounter are a Necromorphs, except they are just plain zombies instead of horrifically mutated monstrosities, so they rule them as not counting.
- Matt discovered Colina Legacy through a blog called "Fuck Yeah Horror Games".
- Matt can't use more runes because they require more "old person energy"; Pat can't explain why the idea of that brings a smile to his face.
- Blood: Matt, who grew up playing the game, mentions that you can kick corpse's heads. For no reason. He theorizes that someone at Monolith was probably high when they came up with that idea. And then Monolith promoted them.
Matt and Pat: "JO-JO THE IDIOT CIRCUS BOY!"
- A sign advertising "Jo-Jo The Idiot Circus Boy" leads to the obvious reference:
Matt: That's a good way to describe any JoJo.
- The Ring's Terror Realm leaves Pat in shock at how horrible it is before the actual game even begins. Everything about the intro leaves him stuttering in shock and laughing at just how bad it is.
- Pat genuinely thought the CDC was rigged to explode thanks to The Walking Dead. He thinks it definitely should be rigged to explode, though.
- Matt compares the voice acting for Deep Fear to hentai dubbing. It's not inaccurate.
- Throughout the game they've commented on the use of obviously generic sound samples but it comes to a head when a monster drops in from the ceiling - starting them laughing at how stupid it is - only to go into full hysterics at the unmodified generic chimp sounds. It turns out there's an actual chimp nearby making the noises, but it's still funny.
- Then the chimp runs off with horrible "animation" and Pat spends the last minute of the episode unable to laugh properly due to a lack of oxygen.
- Throughout the game they've commented on the use of obviously generic sound samples but it comes to a head when a monster drops in from the ceiling - starting them laughing at how stupid it is - only to go into full hysterics at the unmodified generic chimp sounds. It turns out there's an actual chimp nearby making the noises, but it's still funny.
- The Alan Wake playthrough starts off with Pat admitting rather sheepishly that they made a video for this game for the third Shitstorm... or would have if he had remembered to hit the record button. Matt starts to preen over never making such a stupid mistake only for Pat to bring up a Machinima episode Matt outright deleted after they finished making it.
- Woolie has no fear of horror games because he grew up in a place with real monsters and machete men around every corner. Pat and Matt being two white Canadian boys are amusingly cowardly to him.
- Pat muses on how the game was released so long ago he can't remember all the details of the pre-release hype.Pat: Doesn't it feel weird to look back on the 360 era and think 'Oh, those good old days'.
Matt: Times were simpler then.
Pat: Before The Free-to-Play.
- Haunted House Cryptic Graves was a game so shitty it was pulled from Steam, but not before Matt bought and downloaded it. Within 3 minutes Pat is hoping it'll crash - which seems to be what it does most consistently - so they can just delete all the footage or make it into a blooper reel.
- The main enemy in Monstrum is not the enemies (though they do make Pat scream like a little girl); it's steam from the ship's pipes. This results in a constant stream of jokes from Matt about Steam being mankind's greatest enemy.
- As they're having a conversation, Pat walks into his first monster encounter when he enters a hallway, takes a look to the left and spies the monster just as the monster turns to look at him. He cuts himself off mid-sentence to let out one of his manly screams before bolting out of the hall and onto the deck. Matt, who was just as surprised, quickly breaks into hysterics.
- Through The Woods has them constantly referencing the game's Nordic origins by using (very bad) Scandinavian accents.Pat: Okay, now we're just creating just random foreign voice. Like...
Matt: Yeah, it's getting bad.
- It goes for a while until Pat notices his fake Nordic accents are no longer Nordic at all. And he keeps trying anyway.Pat: [with a notably non-Nordic accent] Ah yeah, we went hard for like da- What is this accent? This is Canadian. Fuck me. I'm just giving up.
- Pat is even shocked how they can't do French accent despite being their second language.
- It goes for a while until Pat notices his fake Nordic accents are no longer Nordic at all. And he keeps trying anyway.
- The opening for the Shitstorm Spookycuffs videos is just the Saturday Morning Scrublords intro with some random horror and Halloween images badly superimposed on top, and the infamous hilariously bad Basement theme from Resident Evil: Director's Cut Dualshock Edition in place of Groose's Theme.
- Playing Lazaretto Matt declares he wants Woolie to get haunted super hard, to the point that it disrupts his life. Solely because Woolie's been ragging on the supernatural so hard.Pat: I'm not gonna join you in your desire to haunt people.
Matt: No, just Woolie right now.
Pat: Sure. I think that's kind of fucked up. But. I'd laugh really hard if he got super haunted.
- Pat warns Matt that Woolie would beat the shit out of him if he did get haunted. Matt rebuts that Woolie would never admit he was haunted and would just keep making up excuses.Pat: The interference is making the microphones bleed.
- Pat warns Matt that Woolie would beat the shit out of him if he did get haunted. Matt rebuts that Woolie would never admit he was haunted and would just keep making up excuses.
- During Nightripper Pat finds his way into the "abyss" outside of the playable area. He gives an escalating series of "Oh yeah"s as he first reaches the backdrop texture, walks through said backdrop, and then falls into an infinite abyss with no kill box at the bottom.
- While walking through the game's town, Pat walks the character into view of a marquee sign reading "PEEPLAND". He is flabbergasted for all of two seconds before realizing and muttering with something that sounds almost like disappointment that "I thought it said 'POOPLAND'".
- In Bendy and the Ink Machine Matt starts to compare Joey to a creepy Walt Disney, only to revise that to just Walt Disney.
- During Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Matt's response to some NPC dial may leave you in stitches.Character 1: Accept it. We're not getting out of here alive.
Character 2: How can you say that!? Alexander, you piece of shit let us out of here!
- Playing the horrible Showdown: Legends of Wrestling, Ted DiBiase demonstrates how to deal with a charging Bam Bam Bigelow.
- The guys take turns at "Hulk Hogan's Main Event," and when Woolie switches with Pat the Kinect freaks out because Pat is nearly a foot shorter than him. The result is the game repeatedly doing the same move while Pat stands completely motionless.
Game Question:Where does your drive for wrestling come from?Matt: Matt hates black people!Woolie: Well there you go.Pat: He hates 'em!
- The gang recording their own taunts for the wrestler
- Courtesy of Rumble Roses XX: Pre-Crisis Shingeki no Avril.
- The high-octane brawling action in Wrestlemania XIX, such as Matt gently rolling/kneading a security guard along the floor for a while, Goldust's unbeatable fighting style of sliding up and down on a pole doing fussy little kicks (until another security guard slides down the pole from above and knocks him and his target over), and in the final three-way match, Pat and Woolie deciding to just lie on the floor and not get up from sheer boredom.
- While playing an Ultimate X FFA match in "TNA impact", they have no idea how to actual grab onto the ropes above the ring, which culminates in all 3 of them standing on a turnbuckle twisting left and right.
Pat: KICK HIM!Matt: I'm not sure who my focus in on *jumps onto Pat*Pat: YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
- Later in the same match, Woolie is trying to grab the x(and failing the QTE repeatedly), while Pat tries to grab him from below, and Matt tries to shimmy over to Woolie and kick him down. There's only a split second chance between Woolie failing and trying again that Pat can grab him, which leads to him jumping up and down repeatedly while waving his arms. Meanwhile Matt keeps forgetting to target Woolie, and every time he reaches him, ends up letting go of the rope to elbow drop (an increasing angry) Pat instead.
- The complete and total heel turn at the end of WWF Smackdown 2: Know Your Role! Even better since there was no reason for this at all except than Woolie thought it might be funny.
- Zubaz the Luchadore
- The glorious crescendo of Wrestlemania 21.
- Not only the glitch itself, but the fact that the game considers the glitch to be the highlight of the match in the replay.
- Wooliemania: Woolie is forced to make a pay-per-view event, but he's so disinterested he just makes a tournament of two default create-a-wrestlers and six Owen Harts where every single part of the ring and wrestlers are green.
- The discussion which somehow ranges from how awesome Shane McMahon was during the time when he was wrestling the likes of the Big Show despite not being a professional athlete at all, to the helpless laughter of all three of them as their mockery of Vince McMahon continues to the point where they talk about him unveiling his penis as part of his continued ploys against Stone-Cold, in Wrestlemania X8.
- This, and the utter confusion over the naming schemes of the Wrestlemania shows since 2000.
- The entirety of their WCW Mayhem video, a game so unthinkably appalling they had to switch games just to preserve their sanity.
- And then the replacement game, Backstage Assault, ends up being even worse, to the point it literally drove Pat and Woolie to tears.
- The official name for this month of wrestling games is Rustlemania 2: Superbrawl Saturday III. Several guest hosts have appeared to cut a promo for the month, but none of them have been able to recall the complete title on their first try.
- In one version of the opening, Woolie and Matt are in a match. While Jerry the Predator distracts the ref, Woolie tosses Matt a folding chair and takes a dive. Matt looks at in confusion as the ref turns back around and looks at him.
- While Matt and Pat argue about Stephanie McMahon's hotness over time in Smackdown vs. Raw 2011, Liam silently changes the in-game phone's wallpaper and ringtone to the John Cena setting.
- More Woolie Lore emerges in WWF Wrestlefest:
- Matt is absolutely shitfaced during the first two videos, and by god, does it show.Matt: Y'know, I'm gonna say I've masturbated tos Strish sro much-
*Pat loses it*
Woolie: You gonna follow up on that?
Matt: NO! *laughs*
Matt: Because Trish is like, A. She's Canadians, B. she's gorgeous, B— (Beat) Like, C. She's tits amazing...
- Which is followed up by...
Woolie: Pat...Pat, he's not seeing the neck-cut motion you're making...
- Matt and Liam play John Cena's Sexy High School Adventure!!!, a Visual Novel where everyone at school is some variant of John Cena, submission holds equate to sex (complete with a poorly drawn "HOT" picture) and everyone dies when pinned for a 3 count. All while a slow saxophone remix of John Cena's theme plays.
- The intro for the Rustlecuffs 2: Super Fight Fridays 3 videos, which is another play on their original FNF video. Everyone's in their wrestling garb and acts extremely gruff and psyched, and the intro includes things like Matt opening a container of chicken instead of a bag of chips, pulling out a DVD of Scooby Doo Wrestlemania Mystery instead of a game, Pat maniacally cackling as he opens a can of something, everyone being hyped as Liam lets everyone know that he brought cheese string, and Woolie being thrown a folding chair instead of a fight stick.
- Wrestle Angels Survivor! is completely in Japanese, which only Liam can read. He offers to name Matt's team "Matt" in hiragana. Instead, he named him something quite vulgar: vagina.
- 5 Star Wrestling was designed to be a fun Serial Numbers Filed Off wrestling game using parody names of famous wrestlers. Due to the Loads and Loads of Loading and overall boring gameplay it instead gets to be the first Rustled game of the month. Matt and Woolie spend the time thinking up Shoddy Knockoff names of wrestlers. Matt gets stumped on The Undertaker's name, while Woolie tries to figure out Edge's opposite.
- Woolie pauses the game to check the move list at one point and the camera shakes violently because Woolie was in the middle of a body slam.
- Backyard Wrestling Don't Try This At Home! expands on Rage's backstory.Woolie: Before Rage became the man we knew, he was a little bit chubbier and he fought off lot lizards.
Pat: [seven-second cackle]
- The entirety of the WWE 2K15 Hulk Hogan special, whether it be making fun of Hogan's racist ways, the constant clusterfuck of trying to find their Hogans amongst the other five, the slower than molasses controls, or the fact that they constantly use Hogan as a noun, verb, adjective, and adverb. This episode is solid gold."I have lost my Hogan..."
- Pretty much everything about the Kinnikuman video, from the series' retro cheese to the Large Ham announcer to the ridiculous character designs. Also Snigator's oddly well-modeled rear end.
- In final match of Def Jam Vendetta, the guys had agreed to take female fighters, only for Matt to select D-Mob. What follows is practically a Boss Battle - with Matt as the boss.Liam: He's just batting us aside! With a wave of his hand!
- Matt's reponse to the THQ Logo intro.Mat: YEEEAAAHHH!!! Can't content ID us anymore, motherfuckers!
- During a cutscene Woolie mistakes 50 for Lloyd Banks.Woolie: Nooo, Lloyd... No wait that's 50...(Matt Chuckles)Matt: If I had said that you would have been like: "Yo...".(Both Chuckle)Woolie: Yeah...Matt: But it's okay if you do it.
- This gem:50 Cent: Well we ain't leaving till i get my skull back from that bitch Kamal.Matt: Everyone's a bitch, everyone's got your skull...Woolie: You'se a Bitch, your daddy's a bitch, you're momma's a punk.
- In one level, 50 Cent gets killed but his corpse flips over a pile of cardboard boxes.Woolie: He died trying...
Bad Boys Miami Takedown
- Matt pulls a fast one on Woolie by setting him up for a Mystery Box, only to drop a Cryme Tyme on him instead. Woolie's reaction is priceless, and only gets better when he finds out how slapdash the game is, and hears the main characters talk (way too much).Woolie: Oh my god, they didn't even get a black guy to do the voice!
- Early on they think that the voice actors should make references to other works made by Martin Lawrence and Will Smith or listing of the names of different movies they were in and shoehorning them into a sentence, in a vain attempt to make the player think that the protagonists are really their respective actors. They later on do it themselvesMatt: (As Mike Lowrey) This is how Uncle Phil taught me!
Woolie: This is unfair because of how easy it is to roll through Will Smith movies and then scrape through Martin Lawrence.
- Later on they comment about how unfair this is for Martin Lawrence.
- After they finally talk more about the Morality Bar of the game they give us this gem.Woolie: You're not a Perfect Cop and you're not a Bad Boy, you're something in between...Matt: (laughs) I'm a normal man!Woolie: You're a bad cop.Matt: No I'm a-Woolie:Perfect boy.
The Sopranos: Road to Respect
- Matt first thought this video wouldn't even exist because Woolie said that he'll play this game after watching The Sopranos but was understandably surprised that he actually went and watched the entirety of it
- Words cannot express how hilarious their attempts at Italian Mafia Accents.
- After finding out that there's an extensive move list for the combat and each combo and move has names that would fit in a fighting game, they have a field day.Matt: Ooh! Moves and Specials!Woolie: Can I unlock fucki-Matt: "Asshole Tax!"Woolie: Oh shit!Matt: "This Fist of Mine!"Wooolie: X,X,X, Alright!Matt: The "Strega Slap!"Woolie: "Sneaky Rat Bastard!" Alright...Matt: (In an Italian Accent) Proton Cannon!(Woolie cracks up)
Matt: So I- I- I came up to this guy and I was like fuck that dude! "Hooligan Combination!"Woolie: (Cracks up) Straight into a "Moltisanti Slam"! He never saw it coming! And then- And then I launched him up with my "Crouching Fierce" charged my Ultra! Breathless!Matt: (catching his breath) Breathless...Woolie: Breathless, on that mothafuckah...Matt: Spaghetiless!(later)Mat:' (still in an Italian Accent) And I grabbed him made sure to show him all his sins, Shun Goku satsu right there!Woolie Cracks Up.
- Later on they decide to roleplay as a bunch of Italian Mobsters that use moves from many fighting games.
Scarface: The World Is Yours
- Matt sums up the Cryme Tyme M.O. with one sentence.Matt: Alright, first order of business, get into a car and cause mayhem.
- Tony tries to get a car by posing as an undercover cop only to get run over by it. He then tries again with a bus promising the driver to give it back, only to get run over yet again.
- After Tony get drugs to deliver to another dealer, Woolie proceeds to get him run over by one car, crash another into a fence, and then get all the drugs stolen by a cop. All within view of the first dealer.
- Tony the Otaku.
- The portrayal of Jerry the bank manager as an Idle Rich who's thrilled to go on adventures with Tony.
- The list of exotics Tony can buy cause the duo to fall into hysterics as the options get more ridiculous. Highlights include remains of Tony's victims,The Liberty Bell, the Faith Diamond, and A SOLID GOLDEN TIGER STATUE.Woolie: This fucker's crazy!
- Pat telling Matt to just look at the doctor while Matt's eyesight in the game wanders to a another area.Pat: STOP STARING AT HIS DONG!
- Matt's nonchalance toward Cheryl's disappearance.Pat: You'd be upset if you lost your kids!
Matt: I guess...like, if I find her, is it the end of the g- like...
Pat: What, you wan- you want POINTS for finding your children?
Matt: ...Yeah, like *gems*, or something...
Pat: What is-what the fuck is wrong with you?
- Matt taking way too long with the coloring, causing Pat to go mad with anger.
- Made even funnier when Pat comes back later to apologize to Matt for getting angry...only to find he's still doing it, driving him into another sputtering rage.
- They spend a moment making fun of Canada, which is hilarious considering that they're actually Canadian.
Matt and Woolie's Old-School Playthroughs
- During the last episode of Matt and Woolie's Old-School Playthrough of Double Dragon: Neon, just how pumped Woolie was throughout the entire episode. Especially when Billy and Jimmy go through Marian's love portal to chase down Skullmaggeddon and emerge as robots, the fight with Giga Skullmaggeddon and his cinematic One-Hit KO move, Marian's punch to Skullmaggeddon's balls at the bottom of his fall to his death while singing the ending credits, and the last fight between Robot Billy and Robot Jimmy for Marian's affections.
- Rising Superstar Liam trolls the SA-X.Matt: That was the epitome of the word "shenanigans."
Matt's Sexy Bond-A-Thon
- The Plague Of Gripes intro sequence, parodying the standard Bond opening POV shot, with Matt walking into view, dropping his gun, and hopping out of view after it discharges into his foot.
- The start of the Scrublords of a very bad licensed Beast Wars game, which initially impresses that Matt and Woolie are going to play Persona 4: Arena... until Matt sees Woolie combo juggle the AI to death without letting it hit the ground when he was doing his "button check", at which point he kind of sputters before it jumpcuts to the main video.
- The intermission announcements in the first half of the Scrublord series, which range from announcements based on recent comments by Matt or Woolie such as the Ronin Warriors IOS fighting game kickstarter or the "Kickstarter to fund the Ronin Warriors Kickstarter", to a live feed of the action on the Scublords tournament floor...which is just a deserted parking lot
- The live-action segments of the XMen Next Dimension episode, where Woolie leads a increasingly terrified Matt into a Silent Hill-esque dimly lit building, apparently in search of the brackets for the Scrublord tournaments. It culminates in both of them being attacked by a possessed shopping trolley after Woolie picks up an envelope. Back at Woolie's apartment, Matt decides he's no longer interested in the tournament. Woolie reveals the entire trip was just to fetch his mail.
- Most of the live action segments really, with Woolie trying to get Matt hyped for a tournament that needs a blood sample to enter and makes announcements via a blood-smeared message on your front door.
- The Divekick Scrublords Season Finale has a great ending. After an extremely close match, Pat is the victor. Cue a shot of said victor leaping into the air shouting "YEAH!" Also, we see the ultimate destination of the three losers of the tournament... THE SHAMECAR.
Ride to Hell: Retribution
- The end of the video, where Matt does nothing but powerslide until the bike explodes and the boys break down in hysterics.
- Pat describes a pivotal scene in Attack on TitanThis little kid like viciously murders three grown men and his dad's like "what the fuck are you doing?" and he's like "I took care of some filthy animals that looked like humans." He kills like a bunch of, rapers, with a knife and he's really hype about it. And his dad's like "whoa," and he's like "yeah, I know right?," and the cops are like "what?" And then they live happily ever after. And then the girl became Kamen Rider.
Super Best Friends Play: Ducktales Remastered
- Woolie's insistence to sing through the entire Ducktales theme over the title screen, with Matt continuously asking if they can start actually playing the game. Woolie just sings over his pleas.
- The jokes about Scrooge's cane within the game.Woolie: Scrooge's cane is like Thor's hammer. It's like Mjölnir. I want footage of Hulk trying to pick up Scrooge's cane. And just unable to do it.Matt: This is the sickest cane in the world! Six pogo jumps: more than enough to kill anything that moves!
Best Friends Play Spawn Armageddon
Best Friends Play Biker Mice from Mars
- At the beginning, Matt and Woolie show confusion about how different the Biker Mice in the game look from their 1990s counterparts. Matt believes that there was once a revival, whereas Woolie doesn't think so. When Woolie finds out about the 2006 reboot, their reactions are priceless.
- Shortly after the episode went up, the actual Wikipedia page for Biker Mice from Mars was edited to reflect Woolie's saltiness over the revival.
- This is quite the opposite of the Shadow the Hedgehog playthrough. Matt is now the Troll, and Woolie's Nostalgia Filter left him pretty salty about a game based on the Toyetic Follow the Leader series to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987). Compare this to Matt declaring Sonic the Hedgehog 3 was the last good Sonic the Hedgehog game, and Woolie relishing the chance to play the Anti-Hero.
- Matt and Woolie spend several minutes trying to figure out how to start a new game. Woolie's solution remove the memory card to skip the save prompt seems more like he wants to abort the playthrough. Matt finally decides it's Crazy Enough to Work, and it does. Woolie helped because he wants to endure his Self-Inflicted Hell and he gave his word to watch this playthrough.
Deception: Blood Ties
- Any time Liam sabotaged or was caught in his own traps. Highlights include him triggering the rake trap he was standing on, activating an organ pipe drop too soon thus nullifying his current trap layout, and walking under and activating a guillotine while luring enemies into a different trap.
- Pat gets angry at Liam's screw-ups and begins calling him Matt out of habit.
- The ending, in which the two put a woman through an elaborate series of traps which involves her stepping on a rake, then stumbling towards a springboard which launches her into an electric chair, which shoots her up in midair while simultaneously being struck by a Swinging Axe. Then they perform it again right after she hits the ground and gets up. And immediately after getting up from THAT she is struck by the Swingng Axe and right back into the Electric Chair for the third time. The two exclaiming how stupid the whole thing is and outright losing themselves in laughter at the final part really seals it.
Arts & Crafts with Liam & Matt
- A hilarious Bad "Bad Acting" bit all around with one of the funnier moments being where they proclaim they'll be making hair scrunchies today. Smash Cut to them pulling a burning pile of something out of an oven.
- Matt, Liam and Woolie are constantly tempted by video games (in particular, TheWonderful101) where Matt has to remind everyone to stay on topic. Naturally Liam draws a scene from the game (which Matt gets mad at him for) and Woolie starts playing the game while supposedly videotaping the duo.
Final Fantasy 8
- The description of the video says that for time's sake, all the unimportant parts of the game are edited out. After the game's introduction, almost the entirety of the 45 minute video is spent with Liam and Woolie going around playing Triple Triad with everyone they can.
- On a meta level, the majority of the YouTube comments consist of people either saying how much FF 8 sucks or defending it without even realizing what the video is actually about.
- Liam and Woolie suddenly remember that they still have to go rescue Rinoa... but call it off once they recall that they already have her card in their deck.
- After destroying Sorceress Ultimecia for refusing to play card games with them, Liam and Woolie realize the game is over and they have to wait through the credits before playing Triple Triad again. They proceed to turn off the PlayStation and insert disc 1.
Pat Stares at Mercenary Kings
- The video itself is 30 minutes of Pat playing Mercenary Kings by himself, with no audio whatsoever other than his own commentary. The lack of game noise and Pat's awkwardness trying to do a video by himself is just So Unfunny, It's Funny.
- As Pat discovers a bounty of light-related items such as flares and gasoline, Matt advises him to use light as a weapon against the nocturnal enemies "like Alan Wake". This being an early build, however, enemy damage isn't implemented yet. The video ends with Pat being pursued across the desert by a faceless monster, throwing his collection of flashbangs at it and dousing it with gasoline to no effect, until eventually he is hurling handfuls of lit matches at its face while shrieking 'Why Won't You Die?'.
Best Friends Play 187 RIDE OR DIE
- Woolie's reactions to the game's scattershot use of gangsta slang.Matt: [reading the victory text and laughing] "Buck, you getting crunk out in these streets "Woolie: That's not getting crunk! This has nothing to do with crunk!
- Their idea to get "those PewDiePie numbers" is to approach random people in the street. Their discription of their own channel is amazing.Matt: Yo, you gotta check out our channel, son! We got this crazy fucking ginger bitch! J-Just going crazy all the time! We got t-this little girl/boy who loves animes! (...) We got this big stupid idiot with his damn Punisher hat, thinks he knows everything but he know nothing!
Woolie: Check out The Switcher, how do ya spell that?
Matt: Yo we got this black guy that likes Muse, man! That's crazy!
Woolie: (chuckles) ... The fuck is up with that shit!?
- In Day 5, Matt, Pat, Liam and Woolie all play Godzilla Unleashed in a few four-player brawls. The very first one has Matt, Woolie and Liam playing Jet Jaguars while Pat plays as Biollante, setting the monsters to tiny. Almost immediately, Liam, Matt and Woolie decide to gang up on Pat, thus creating the scene of several tiny Jet Jaguars running around and kicking the stuffing out of a much larger, though still tiny and very slow Biollante.Pat: Don't gang up on me you assholes!Matt: But you're evil, though!Pat: You guys are such dicks.Matt: But we're like, the Earth Defenders, though. And you're like, a horrible mutant.Woolie: EDF!Matt, Liam, Woolie: [Chanting simultaneously while beating the crap out of Pat] E-D-F! E-D-F! E-D-F!Pat: Fuck you all!
- Day 1 has Scott Steiner narrating a fight between Godzilla vs King Ghidorah and Mothra. There is something wrong with you, on a cellular level, if it isn't the GREATEST THING EVER.
Super Best Friends VS: Dark Souls II
- The constant transitions back and forth of Woolie and Pat doing great and having fun to Matt and Liam dying repeatedly and making close to no progress.
- Matt predicts which class Woolie will pick, leading to a fantastic Description CutMatt: Woolie's taking a fuckin' mage to shoot bullshit and ruin the game.Liam: And he's gonna play as his Dragonlance fuckin' favourite Waif, what's his name again?[Cut to Woolie's recording, he's selected Sorceror][Cut back to Matt and Liam]Liam: Maybe you should go with green?Matt: Green is the lamest colour! Who would ever make their created character green?[Back to Woolie, who's made his character's robes and hair green]Woolie: I like the look of this guy!
- At the end of the Epilogue, Pat gets stepped on by the first boss, and he and Liam admit with equal part lamentation and admiration that Woolie, who had never played any of the Souls games before, was now better than them, having beaten the Last Giant boss solo on his first try while they used two summons and died.
- In the first couple minutes of the Epilogue, we see part of the reason Matt was doing so bad: because he missed a certain NPC, he went up to boss of the first dungeon without leveling up or getting his Estus Flask. Matt, who'd never played a game in the series before, basically tried a SL 1 run, one of the series hardest Self Imposed Challenges entirely by accident.
- "Praise the sun!"
- Pat's advice to Woolie as he hides in a hole too small for the first monster he meets to go through, letting him shoot it to death with magic. "Cheat! The monster is tougher than you, so fucking cheeeaaat!"
Super Best Friends Watch: Samurai Cop
- At one point, Liam leaves to fetch ice cream sandwiches for everyone, and the picture-in-picture of the gang disappears. The moment it cuts back in, we are greeted to.Pat: HE'S THROWIN' ICE CREAM SANDWICHES AT M' PENIS
- At about 43:30 in the video, Pat and Woolie are left alone while Matt and Liam grab the pizza. Pat, drunk off his ass, lets out this gem:Pat: What do ya feel are the odds on the race war?
Liam: Are you guys SERIOUSLY talking about the race war?
- Eventually Liam comes back and asks, through chuckles:
Woolie Vs. Japan
- Woolie modeling the set of very expensive Jojo themed underwear.
- Pat's girlfriend makes her first on-camera appearance and proceeds to make the most of it.
- Woolie tries to down a box of Natto and reacts like he's just been punched in the gut. After a solid minute of writhing, screaming and trying to wipe his tongue with tissues his girlfriend says "Oh shit, I wasn't recording!"
- Woolie's Spook Investigations.Woolie: Bitch nigga ghost!
- Woolie is about to leave an office building, when he looks at the directory and notices PlatinumGames is on the eighth floor. Smash Cut to Woolie in the elevator, trying to hit the 8th floor button (it is unavailable) and his girlfriend dragging him out of the building.
Best Friends Zaibatsu Halloween Murder Mystery Spooktacular!
- Pat's ridiculous side-eye when Matt asks him why he showed up at the party already holding a drink.
- Matt's ridiculous attempts to solve Liam's murder, including just going around the party asking random guests if they killed him and a murder board full of stuff like Madoka, John Cena and a note that says "probably Pat", not to mention the extended Saw style flash-back when it turns out Zach did it.
- Liam shows up in subsequent scenes even though he's supposed to be dead.
Far Cry 4 CO-OP STUPIDITY!
- Matt and Pat playing co-op in Far Cry 4. They are in different rooms and neither of them have a mic, so they have no way of communicating with each other. Hilarity Ensues!
- In particular:
- Pat's continuous, neverending attempts to kill Matt, most of which either fail or backfire completely.
- Matt's continuous running off after animals.
- The fact that neither of them can stop killing friendly npcs.
- The fact that neither of them can drive.
- The fact that neither of them can do stealth at all.
- The boat vs. jeep race.
- Ramming elephants with cars.
- Pat glitching through the world after a particularly lame death, causing his ragdoll to jiggle across the map while Matt screams about ghosts.
Pat Stares at Japan
- Compared to Woolie's massive amounts of hype, Pat's absolute, crushing deadpan sets such a different mood it's hilarious all on its own. But even he can't contain the Cuteness Proximity of the wild rabbits on rabbit island that were so tame you can walk up and pet them while they're sleeping.
- The Running Gag of Pat jogging up small mountains (as in, the camera could stay at the top and still see him at the bottom) while playing the Training Montage music from Punch-Out!!.
- On a related note, Pat talks about Chenobyl rabbits.
- Pat watches a woman being bothered by a bunch of fairly aggressive deer:Pat: (completely deadpan) This lady is about to be killed.
- Pat and his girlfriend take a trip to a beautiful Japanese castle.Pat: That is an immaculate lawn!
- And of course Pat and Paige's endless declarations of love:Paige: You are the biggest asshole I've ever met I hate your guts.Pat grins and shrugs.
- Pat playing arcade games, the camera zooming in to his estatic face at one point while playing Gunslinger Stratos.
- At the very end, Pat falls between two hotel beds that are too close together, getting stuck there for a good five minutes while his girlfriend just tapes it and laughs.
- She actually pushed him into the gap. Which makes it more hilarious.
- The overly long segment where Pat seems to drunkenly warble his way through a tour of his hotel room, and repeatedly makes reference to possible incidents regarding his bed and shower which are never fully explained, but may be why he had to change rooms later.
- Pat's utter bafflement at the fact that Universal Studios Japan has a section based on Waterworld.
Mechaweek - Real Robots
- Front Mission 3's horrifying kancho discussion. Not to mention Woolie's bizarre segue into Peace Walker later on.
- Woolie and Pat spending a good deal of the Gundam Extreme Vs: Full Boost video lashing at each other on the classic debate of supporting Zeon and the Spacenoids over Earthnoids. Hilarity Ensues.
- Pat's utter helplessness when trying out Steel Battallion is a sight to behold. Nearly breaking the infamously complicated controller just before playing is the icing on the cake.
Mechaweek 2 - Super Robots
- The intro, in addition to being a fully-voiced Affectionate Parody of SRW-style battles, has the Zaibatsu's enemy being a walking copy of Beyond Two Souls.
- The Friends ribbing on each other in the Evangelion video over who's the best girl.
- Pat's utterly bewildered, awe-hushed "What the fuck?" at the sudden gameplay change in the SNES Jurassic Park game when it switches from top-down exploration to first-person shooting upon entering a building.
- The comparisons between Woolie and a Dilophosaurus.
- Matt's worried noises when confronted with a dragonfly, of all things.
- Pat's talking about turkeys and how they're a lot bigger than he expected, plus a story about his dad insistently stating he'd seen one in the backyard, much to the bemusement of Pat's mom.
- Liam brings up feathered dinosaurs multiple times, annoying the rest to the point where they talk about it even in videos where he's not present.
- They sing "Holy fucking shit, fucking dinosaurs" to the tune of the Jurassic Park theme multiple times.
- The intro for the Saturday Morning Scrublords for that week uses the Jurassic Park theme instead of the usual, making for some hilarious soundtrack dissonance.
- In the same Saturday Morning Scrublords episode, the commentary's shift into splicing Mad Max: Fury Road references with dinos and Matt talking about a childhood poster he had of gladiators with shotguns riding robo-dinos. And then bringing said childhood poster to his old job to the complete bafflement of his co-workers.
- Part 4 begins with Matt and Pat playing Terminator: Dawn of Fate. The game locks up, and one cut later they're back to playing. When it locks up the second time, Matt calls it quits, and the outro plays, only for a record needle to scratch and the video to cut to Matt and Woolie playing the Terminator 3 game.
- Matt and Woolie mock two civilians who are just sliding across the ground, oblivious to any danger.
- The intro for the Saturday Morning Scrublords for the week plays the Terminator theme in placce of the usual, making their bumbling seem more awesome than it really is.
Captain Super Best Iron Friends: Civil War
- Woolie and Matt start Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems by disclaiming how this game lied to them for not being Marvel Super Heroes.
- Meta-example: during their playthrough of the Spider-Man arcade beat 'em up, Matt and Liam are joined by Boku No Eruption, who sounds a lot like Liam. Cue the confused comments exclaiming how Liam is talking to himself.
Creepy Anime Bullshit - Gal Gun: Double Peace
- Liam and Matt wonder why there isn't a Pumpkin Spice Latte area to shoot in addition to the others.
- Matt brings up the idea of a counterpart about a girl who woos guys a few times.
- Matt remarks that if some passerby witnessed the game's events they would call the police, because it looks like a bunch of girls are randomly running up to a boy and fainting on the way.
- When the first Doki-Doki field is activated Matt profusely apologizes to mom and dad.
- They have a good laugh when some of the dialogue choices include things like "For now, take off your clothes" and "Teach her body directly".
- While they're freeing Shinobu from a window —Matt: This looks like it could be any activity going on.
Liam: Yep. It would be an unfortunate circumstance if someone were to see and think something else was happening.
I Expect You To Die
- At one point between missions, Woolie celebrates the possibility of Idris Elba being the next James Bond by getting ready to pour himself a drink...before tossing the glass aside and chugging champagne straight from the bottle while firing his gun wildly, shouting about "Black Bond" all the while.
- Virtually everything about this video is gold, lets count a few ways:
- The title of the video being phrased as a question
- The intro just being green greens played over a screenshot of the game, with no text or editing done
- Pat sandbagging Woolie's attempts to justify the video by giving commentary on what he's trying to do
- The comment section being filled with people (including Plague) wondering why they're even playing the game at all
- Pat getting super upset when all his fairies die in the first 5 minutes of the video
- The video iself is over an hour long despite being what looks like a fairy ripoff of Terraria. Subverted a little over 20 minutes into the video, which reveals a new part called "txt Adventure", both games being part of the sequel to Frog Fractions.
- The fact that this video only likely exists as filler with Matt and Liam being gone
Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force
- Roughly 15% of the video is dedicated to the actual gameplay. It quickly becomes apparent that the real point of the video is for Pat to tell Matt stories about Star Trek war crimes.Pat: [Janeway]'s basically giving away the tools to manufacture a slave race to be murdered forever.Pat: And then [Sisko's] like "Hey Mr. Worf, load up that torpedo with a shitload of poison and shoot it at the planet."Pat: They go to a planet and Harry Kim gets fucking killed [Matt laughs] but he gets cloned by the people in some kind of weird sex ritual [Matt laughs harder], and they just bring the clone. So from Season 2 onward, you have to remember it's the clone Harry.
- Pat decides to do some research with Google's autocomplete search function.Pat: If you type in "Janeway is" you will receive the following results: "is a bad captain", followed by ''is the best captain."Matt: [laughs] Amazing. I like it. I like it a lot.
- Shortly into the first level, Matt has his first real combat encounter with the Borg and is horrified to discover his control scheme is inverted. Pat, no fan of inverted controls himself and ever eager to throw Janeway under the bus, promptly blames her.
- And when Matt goes to the menu to correct his controls, the game immediately betrays its slipshod ported-from-PC nature by giving control options for a keyboard and mouse. On a PS2 port.
- Matt decides to shoot an NPC, in an attempt to prevent him from inevitably becoming a Borg. The duo then wail as they get a game over.
- When the action in a cutscene moves to the bridge, Janeway and her big, blocky polygon head make their first proper appearance and both Matt and Pat react by screaming in terror.
- While on the bridge, they react with incredulity at how small the viewscreen appears from the captain's chair. Then they attempt to occupy the chair just to see what happens should Janeway attempt to sit in it.Matt: If I go here, what's gonna happen? She's gonna want to sit eventually.Pat: If you sit there, you should get a Game Over because Janeway would pull out a piece and shoot you.
- The Voyager story that finally breaks Matt is, of course, "Threshold"* .Pat: So they see the weird lizards and then they go "uh, we're out of here".Matt: (hysterical laughter)Pat: And then Janeway and Paris are kind of awkward because they fucked and had lizard children.Matt: Yeah! That made me slightly awkward with Woolie.
- Some of the introductory animations are hilarious:
- The Incredible Pat Hulks Out after Sega cancels the Yakuza series. But he's still too small to do much, so Spider Matt laughs at him. His Spider Sense kicks in too late as he and Pat are run over by Venom Woolie and Carnage Liam driving a van.
- Woolie and Yellow Lantern Pat are at a Q & A. Pat hates the attention and conjures a gun to shoot himself with, and Woolie can't read, so he can't really do much about the handwritten questions. Squirrel Liam and Punisher Matt are in the crowd, having a good time, until Liam whispers HAIL HYDRA in Matt's ear. Matt is freaked out.
- Professor X and Magneto sign a peace treaty, and a large crowd of superheroes and supervillains line up to take part in "Something We Can All Agree On"; punching Cyclops. The queue includes the Best Friends as the X-Men, the Juggernaut, Mr Sinister, Thanos, Apocalypse, and Zone-Tan.
- The game based off Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: Pat hammering the quick turn button to make the camera change angles rapidly, the camera shooting through the scenery to make it to the next cutscene, the camera having no one to focus on and just settling on an empty hallway. Really just the game's awful camera in general.
- In one instance, the camera gets stuck facing another empty hallway. Suddenly, Human Torch goes flying by from one side of the camera to the other.
- At one point Pat stands back in a corridor while everyone goes on ahead and has the Thing hold a giant crate up in front of the camera so no one can see anything.
- In Batman & Robin, Batman foils Mr Freeze's plan to steal a diamond from the museum by running around in the vents teargassing himself trying to disable the diamond's protective forcefield, until Mr Freeze arrives and shuts off the forcefield himself. Batman then runs away with the diamond, saving the city.
- An entire month of terrible superhero games is clearly taking a toll on Pat. With each video, he sounds more and more depressed and tired. It'd be concerning if it weren't so funny.
- Several moments stand out during the video for The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction:
- The indestructible "Gamma Cow".
- And as if in response, later in the video, soldiers start shooting cow-shaped missiles at the Hulk.
- Matt and Woolie acting as sports commentators during the golf minigame.
- "Have you ever been so mad you just headbutted a building?"
- The indestructible "Gamma Cow".
- Matt's attempts to copy accents during Wonderful 101, to the point of overdoing Vorkken's so much even he starts to think he's going overboard and sounding more like James from Pokemon.
- "Oh? You have Hero Time? Could I have Villain Time? Misunderstood Space Rebel Time?"
- Speaking of Matt's accents, any time he mimics Wonder Green, with loads of Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys thrown on top.
- When playing Spider-Man: The Video Game in the Captain Super Best Iron Friends follow-up, Liam asks why Sub-Mariner is a playable character in a game about Spider-Man.
- A stunning, absolutely hysterical case of irony strikes with the video's end; After forty-plus minutes of Matt's incessant wailing about how terrible the game is, and Woolie and Liam vainly attempting to justify how hype the game was when they were teenagers, the Gamecube they're using to play the game joins Matt's protests by giving up the ghost and letting out a high-pitched wail as it crashes, thus bringing to an end the Rising Superstar's claims that they could make it a full playthrough.
"The Game Disc could not be read. Please read the Nintendo Gamecube Instruction Booklet for more information."
- Made even more hilarious when they do a part two to finish the run, and Matt spends every second of it insulting the game and hoping it will crash whenever they die. Unfortunately for him, the Rising Superstar does indeed finish the playthrough, and he and Woolie force Matt to watch the credits, under the pretense of there being a hidden cutscene after them. Halfway through them, the game spares Matt the disappointment (and provide a perfect CMOF ending to the run.)
- Woolie emphasizes every time a selection on the GUI is made, because the gunshots used for the GUI sounded gansta when Woolie was young.BLAOW, BLAOW, Bullet Clip!
- The first thing that happens involves Sonic chasing Dr Robotnik. Matt promptly compares him to Pat.Matt: (As Sonic) "Drop the crack Pat!" (As Pat/Robotnik) "No! Persona!"
- Matt's advice to skip all powerups, and Woolie's inability to use them.
- Liam attempting a wall jumping section and failing a few times because he was trying to get up to a red coin, and Woolie and Matt constantly interrupting his explanations, leading to the following:Liam: Did you see what's happening? When he parkours on the ledge...
Matt/Woolie: You're going to get eaten, keep moving.
Liam: When he parkours on the ledge...
Woolie: Keep moving! (Liam exits stage)
Liam: When he parkours on the ledge...
Matt: Wow, that's all you had to do!
Liam: When he parkours on the fucking ledge...
- Comparing the "whoo!" Sonic says every time he dashes to that of Ric Flair.
- Matt complains loudly about the Werehog scenes, because they swap out the traditional Sonic gameplay for poorly designed beat-em-up. After a flying segment, he bets that the next scene will have the moon rise and Sonic become a Werehog before they can have a running level. It doesn't, instead they wander around a town for ten minutes talking to NPCs. After finally beating it, they move to the next level - and Sonic is now the Werehog again. Matt just bellows FUCK! loud enough to make people complain that they jumped in the comments. 31:48.
- While playing, Matt, Woolie and Liam discover the game has fast travel. Matt loses it.Matt:: [sees "Confirm Fast Travel" screen header] Fast travel?! You're fuckin' Sonic! You are fast travel!
- Liam and Woolie break into singing the Shadow the Hedgehog theme song several times, confusing the very drunken Matt.Matt (who is heavily slurring his words): Are you sure I'm the one who's drunk? Because I'm pretty sure it's you.
- Tails as Griffith, and Big the Cat as Pippin.
- Matt asks a question about the old cartoons.Matt: You guys write fanfiction, you should know!Liam: (Wearily) My fanfiction days are over, Matt.
- The guys play a "fangame", if you could call it that, that labels itself as a lost Sonic game. In actuality it's a Take That! at the cliche behaviors of the Sonic Fan Dumb. The guys are quick to point out that it's basically DeviantArt: The Game with a healthy side dish of pure Mind Screw. Especially once they get to the "Sonic Movie Maker" part, which covers the Squicky fringe fetishes of the Sonic fandom like Mpreg, birthing and vore.
- Woolie decides to pose his Sonic OC into a JoJo pose. Of course.
- Woolie asking if they can re-arrange the PROM sign into PORM during the orgy scene.Matt: Liam, you have a healthy career in the porm industry.
- The hilarious reaction to finding a nightmarish Big The Cat hidden inside Rouge The Bat. You can't make this shit up.Woolie: NOOOOOO!
Woolie: Oooohh, this is not what I wanted; this is not what was promised!
- Followed up quickly by this gem;
Matt: What was promised, Woolie? WHAT THE FUCK WAS PROMISED!?!
- Amusingly, after uploading the video, one of the Best Friends later managed to ascend another 13 times in Eggman Origins.
- At one point Matt clips into the environment and attempts to complete the level with the camera locked in place.
- The plot to fly to Toronto to either get Drake to play the game, or to name his next album "And the 99 Dragons."
- At the half-hour mark Matt declares that Liam gets the final attempt and they would stop playing once he dies. Liam then spends 15 more minutes doing well at the game to the rest of the teams' pure anguish.
- Liam gets to the end of a level, gets into a shoot-out with multiple enemies and gets caught in a massive explosion and dies to everyone's delight. Mission Complete.
- Matt Pat and Woolie chanting "Die! Die! Die!" every time Liam gets close to dying and their utter disappointment when he collects enough health to keep going.
#6: Shamu's Deep Sea Adventures
- Throughout the episode they start comparing the game to Devil May Cry and God of War, mostly due to the long list of moves Shamu unlocks.
- Toward the end of the episode, Liam is unable to perform a move he unlocks. Cue him bringing up the pause menu and being awestruck by the level completion and move lists.
- The studio's vanity logo fails to play properly.
- A game about a mage escaping from a prison and fighting guards. Pat is quite surprised this is a Third Person over the Shoulder shooter.
- Hearing Pat slowly loses his will to play the game as he encounters bugs, notes the developers didn't care, and the Jerkass protagonist offers terrible dialog choices.
#9: The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
- Liam's repeated dramatic gasps, which never fail to make Matt crack up.
#10: Rambo: The Video Game
- Pat's very first words upon finding out what game it is.Pat: Fuck you Matt.
- The rambling introduction to why they're playing the game, complete with a sudden cut to a unique 2Snacks opening animation that they were never able to use.
- The commentary quickly devolving into ramblings about random Sylvester Stallone trivia and on how much of a failure the game is. And their confounded disgust is palpable.
#11: Die Hard: Vendetta
- The reference back to the problem they had in the Star Trek game where the world and player models seem more disproportionate the closer they get to other people.
- After they pick up the sniper rifle, they turn and Pat screams when the cameraman zooms by their view. They then attempt to get a closer look at him through the sniper scope, and shoot him to no effect. The view then suddenly zooms close in on his face while a chorus plays, and Matt says Pat pressed the slow down time button.
- They discover the leaning controls and goof around while looking at a civilian, pretending that the civilian is dancing.
- Their shock at an awkwardly long cutscene of a newscaster going over a character's past.Matt: Is this like VH1: Behind the Movies? What happened to Die Hard?
- The moments after they activate cheats like big head mode and explosive everything.
Matt: That's when you really love someone, when your heads start fusing the fuck together!
- Getting up close to other NPCs until they clip into the model.
- Punching things to make them explode.
- They run into two people making out in a back alley. They get really up close to them, crouch down, and have a good laugh as the two keep looking at them, their heads clipping into each other.
- "Rescue Lucy McClane" being an objective in multiple missions.
#13: Reign of Fire
- When Matt was a kid, he thought heat-seeking missiles carelessly fired into the air would blow up the sun.I still kinda believe that...'
#15: Animorphs: Shattered Reality
- Woolie starts the video already pissed that they're playing a cash-grab, Animorphs licensed game, and then just grows saltier and saltier when it turns out the game is actually decent.
- Crankyconstruct's revelation that he played Donkey Kong Country 64 growing up.[nervous laughter]
#18: Maximum Chase
- The Best Friends get into an argument about which Spice Girl is best.Liam: [Posh Spice] was my favorite.
Pat: She was everyone's favorite.
Matt: Are you serious?
Woolie: (stunned) Okay, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Matt, lay some truth.
Matt: Fucking Ginger!
Woolie: Jesus Christ, no! Crazy Spice!
Matt: You mean the one that doesn't exist?! That's not a name!
Woolie: Whatever the black girl's was!
Matt: Wow, what a memorable Spice Girl!
Pat: You fucked that up harder than you fucked up anything in a while.
Woolie: I'll have to hand in my Spice Girls membership card.
Matt: Hand it on my desk, 'cause I'm the fucking governor!
Pat: I love how it's not your Spice Club fan club membership card, it's your Spice Girls card! From when YOU were a Spice Girl!
- Then there's this gem to close out the episode:Pat: Do you even want to play it, Woolie?
Woolie: My stomach hurts. I have a wummy tummyache.
Pat: (disgusted) Get the fuck OUT. You're FIRED.
[Liam bursts into laughter.]
Pat: That's fucking awful.
Woolie: It huuurts.
Pat: WUMMY TUMMY?!
#19: Drakan: The Ancients' Gates
- Woolie talks about how he played the predecessor and picked this game to play. Matt then reveals that he told Liam to convince Woolie to buy the game.Liam: Woolie, you placed the bear trap and didn't realize you were in a larger bear trap.
#22: Tearaway Unfolded
- Pat designs and pastes a big yellow dick to the forehead of a squirrel. Later it comes back as a sun made of spinning dicks.
#23: Adam's Venture
- Pat and Matt quickly lose patience with the protagonist's weak witticisms.Adam: (spinning a globe) Adam Venture makes the world go 'round.
Pat: Fuck you.
Adam: (chuckles) That never gets old, does it?
Pat: Fuck you!
Matt: Yes it does!
Pat: It got old before you said it!
- They have two puzzles to solve to get in Adam's father's library. They point out that not only his father is alive but they could just go see him for the key.
#24: Joe Dever's Lone Wolf
- Pat starts mocking the game for being a Witcher rip-off, only to be gobsmacked by the discovery that the original Lone Wolf book was only made a year apart from the original Witcher short story. After several seconds of confusion, he then starts claiming its still a rip-off.
- Woolie encounters a Red Phantom who is clearly experienced at the game, inflicting every ailment among other things. Even then, Woolie stays in the fight and manages to keep up... and then the phantom wields a Scraping Spear, which is capable of damaging equipment. Everyone then recommends that Woolie just forfeit the fight, and he does so by rolling straight off a cliff.
- Woolie is invaded by RageofAfrica, prompting a brief, unanimous cry of delight from the Best Friends.
Shitty Games Done Slow
- Despite the "Shitty Games Done Slow" name, the Best Friends accidentally managed to beat MindJack faster than the predicted time. Since the game is so unpopular, they conclude that they must have set the new world record.
- Woolie intentionally failing to take the groceries from Grace twice in a row. The third time, he gets Ethan to take the bags out of her arms, kisses her... only to give them back. Grace decides to put the groceries away, herself. All four of them burst out laughing.
- Pat takes notice of the many female NPCs who are wearing backless shirts and dresses and calls them "ladies of the evening!"
- Woolie tries to make sense of how Jason could have possibly died. Pat's only answer is to shout "HE'S DEAD" over and over.
- The fact that Jason dies in the car accident despite Ethan's attempt to fully shield him with his body leads to the guys wondering whether or not the shock of the collision ended up fatally injuring his neck. They then make a Running Gag of referencing the durability of various characters' necks, and how Ethan needs to train Shaun so that his neck will be strong enough never to suffer the same fate.
- Their take on Ethan's first blackout.Matt: I forgot that I never ate! I only gave all the food to Shaun!Pat: My blood sugar's low.Liam: I'm aging rapidly.All four burst out laughing.Liam: Fox...All: ... DIE!
- During Ethan's time-freezing Freak Out in the train station, rather than spam the returning "JAY-SON!" prompt, Woolie instead starts spamming the little-used "The balloon! Gotta get the balloon!" As it goes on, the guys descend into hysterics and start chanting the phrase, and the chat runs wild with it. The phrase has since become an overnight Memetic Mutation.
- There's a bizarre glitch in the scene where Shelby is sneaking up on the man holding up the grocery store, where suddenly the game acts as though Woolie had armed himself with the frying pan and the camera jumps around wildly, not even letting them see the quicktime commands. As everyone sits there baffled, Pat notes that many people in the chat are claiming King Crimson interfered.
- When confronting the first suspect as Norman, Pat's about to explain that R1 in this circumstance is to fire the gun, only for Woolie to press that button and kill the suspect before he could finish. Everyone's stunned, (especially Pat, who does a double-take between Woolie and the game screen,) while Woolie says that he thought the prompt was to steady Norman's hand in order to prevent an accidental shot. They sum the whole thing up as another "Glass Him" incident, and it becomes a Running Gag for the rest of the stream.
- The guys telling Woolie to fail various prompts on purpose so that Ethan and Jayden will stumble around and look foolish.
- This particularly comes into play during Jayden's chase through the supermarket, which the guys hype up all playthrough long and revel in when things start to blow up in Jayden's face. However, it then is undercut when the person Jayden is chasing gets away just before the chicken section of the chase. The guys express confusion at this and realize that they were apparently supposed to succeed in at least one of the prompts to finish the entire scene.
- When they get to the scene of Shelby and Lauren teaming up as partners, Matt and Pat reference their previous playthrough by gloriously exclaiming that it's the return of "Private Dick and Prostitute".
- Woolie's Gravity Falls reference when Lauren and Scott investigate Gordi Kramer at his mansion during a party.
- Matt noting that, despite the fact that it's been raining non-stop over the last few days, nobody in the game bothers to hold an umbrella.
- During the Butterfly Trial, Woolie has trouble getting Ethan to turn the right way when going through the pipe. After a few turn arounds and getting nowhere, Pat smugly takes the controls to get through this section, only to make the exact same mistake that Woolie did almost immediately.
- During the second streaming session, Liam couldn't attend. Why? The most fitting reason imaginable — he was attending a Hatsune Miku concert that had just come to the area.
- In the scene at Dr. Baker's house, when given the choice to drink the clearly roofied wine or deny it, Woolie seemingly opts to drink, launching into one of the game's creepiest and most disturbingly perverted sequences. As he rages over the scene's Big-Lipped Alligator Moment nature, Matt and Pat ask him why he drank, and it turns out the choice prompts overlapped and tricked him.
- The long-awaited confrontation with the game's resident Scary Black Man and one of the most negatively stereotypical African-American thugs in gaming, Mad Jack, has a few:
- Woolie's reaction when he first sees said African-American thug:
- While investigating, the trio pile onto the awkwardness of the scene by depicting Jayden as overly eager to arrest, convict, and/or kill Jack for any reason, and voice him expressing disgust at having to touch the DNA of a black man.
- At the end of the first fight sequence, Jayden manages to get his gun trained on Jack. He is merely held at gunpoint, but in a nice Call-Back to the now-infamous "R1" shot, Woolie immediately starts trying to fill him with bullets while making progressively louder "POW POW!" sounds.
- When Jayden wakes up and realizes he's being carried to the car compactor in his car, Matt snarks at Jack's Bond Villain Stupidity and points out that Jack had an easily-accessible acid bath in the garage that he was already killing people in.
- The crowner of this chapter, and of perhaps the entire stream? Jayden's death. In order to escape his restraints before the car drops into the compactor, Jayden has to turn the steering wheel to reach something, which the game assigns to a ridiculously sensitive and ambiguous controller-tilt prompt. Woolie and Pat try it dozens of times as the clock winds down, but it continuously fails to register, so Woolie is forced to watch in simmering rage as the most interesting playable character gets suddenly and ignobly mulched. At that point, Woolie seems to check out completely and drop to Matt's level of opinion on the game, and the chat is haunted by it for the rest of the playthrough.
- Immediately following that incident, Woolie's intense reaction upon realizing that there is an entire section of the game that forces him to make eggs. He neglects to crack them open for a bit while passionately refusing, then screws the prompts up just to spite the game.Woolie: Why does Cage assume that everyone wants eggs?!Woolie: Everyone clearly does not want eggs!
Lauren: I don't really like raw eggs, maybe I should have told you.Matt: Yeah!Pat: So Woolie, if you had left the eggs on there for a while-Woolie: I know!Matt: He wanted her to not have good eggs.Woolie: Did you not see me instantly try to turn it off? I just saved someone from eating eggs, I told you I'm not eating eggs, no one in this house is eatin' no fucking eggs!
- Later, when Woolie has cooked the eggs for a fraction of a second and served them:
- Matt, Pat, and Woolie making fun of the insanely heavy accents and bad acting of the Sheppard brothers in the flashback.
- In the same section, the playable boy climbs up a ledge and looks back to pull his brother John up. However, Woolie holds off on doing the prompt, leaving the boy standing somewhat menacingly above John.
- Matt comes to the conclusion that only rich people can afford umbrellas, which is why nobody uses them in the game aside from Kramer.
- While traipsing into one of the game's most infamous sequences — Madison being forced to strip at gunpoint for Paco Mendes — Woolie sees two thought bubbles overlap and misreads the words as Femto. The best part is the chat's response:Chat: It's about to get Femto
- Woolie's steady exasperation over Madison's under-developed character and her role in an out-of-nowhere romance with Ethan comes to a head in the scene where the romance is supposed to culminate.Pat: All right, Woolie, what happened to Madison today?Woolie: She dreamed that she was getting raped-Pat: And murdered.Woolie: She dreamed that she was getting murdered... she ran into some crazy guy that looked like he was on drugs, she found out he was probably a murderer, she put herself in danger and became a wanted fugitive... uh, she got put at gunpoint to be a whore...Pat: And before that! You forgot about the power drill man!Woolie: She almost got power drilled, and then, like, corpse-fucked.Pat: So what does that mean?(Beat)Woolie: She loves Ethan?Pat: And?Woolie: I hate everything?Matt: Get prepared for the fucking.(The prompt comes up to choose whether to kiss Madison or not.)Pat: Oh, it meant that she was super ready for the sex!
- And throughout the entire following sequence, as Madison walks out of the motel room, Woolie begs her to exit the game forever and expresses genuine disgust at David Cage for such sloppy writing... while Matt and Pat assure him that he hasn't even gotten to the genuinely awful parts yet.
- In one of Shelby's last segments, he is Trapped in a Sinking Car with Lauren. At the exact peak of the drama, just as Shelby finally busts open a window and the water rushes in, the batteries in Woolie's controller run out. Thus, they are forced to pause the game and twiddle their thumbs as the situation is handled, completely killing the moment. However, the best part comes at the end of the scene, when Matt and Pat reveal that chat exploded and they had to struggle to keep their mouths shut because they knew that Woolie accidentally chose the prompt to kick the window without untying Lauren, dooming her to die just as the break started with no hope of saving her.
- As Ethan marches toward his final trial, Woolie takes the perfect opportunity to follow up "Balloon! Gotta get the balloon!" and continuously presses Ethan's single thought: "The last origami figure... the last trial!" Just as before, once Matt and Pat realize what Woolie is doing, they turn it into a chant that rises in intensity as it continues, and the chat explodes with concurrence.
- Matt and Pat spend both stream sessions hyped to see Woolie's reaction to the utterly nonsensical reveal that Scott Shelby is the Origami Killer. By the time the twist finally drops, however, Woolie is so drained and distant that he seems entirely nonplussed over it, other than flatly questioning why and how this could make any logical sense.
- Matt is generally cool and composed throughout both sessions — as cool and composed as Matt can be, anyway. Then they reach the part in the game that infuriates him like no other: Madison hiding in a fridge to survive the explosion of Shelby's apartment, then simply appearing on the street without so much as a bruise despite the entire apartment still being a towering inferno. Matt explodes over the sheer illogic of it all. Even recounting the scene later on the podcast, he sounds residually pissed.Pat: Now let's, like, the place is still incredibly on fire-(Madison stumbles into view, coughing)
- The simple, beautiful fact that circumstances happened to play out so Woolie's ending is the one that has him shooting the killer in the back by pressing R1.
- When Madison's section of the ending drops a long-forgotten Sequel Hook, the trio discuss what a sequel to Heavy Rain would be called. They run through "Heavier Rainier" and "Heavy Downpour" before settling on "Fat Water".
- Over the credits, Pat excitedly drops the same bombshell on Woolie that he did on Matt in the channel playthrough as to why Ethan had his blackouts. Right as Pat reveals the abandoned "psychic link" subplot, Woolie silently closes out the game, deletes it from his system, and starts doing the stream outro then and there.
PSVR Launch Stream
- During London Heist, Matt can't stop himself from completely derailing dramatic scenes by waving his hands around, pantomiming comical fear, and putting his hands all over whoever is talking to him. It starts with him interrupting the Cold-Blooded Torture Framing Device by twisting his captor's nipples, and it doesn't get any less funny from there.
Woolie: Matt's jail survival skills are very high.
- During his Mission Briefing, Matt lights his own face on fire, drops a burning cigar into his lap, attempts to flip the table and has a reactive seizure, burns his payment, and then eats his earpiece. The chat accurately summarizes the game as a simulation of what it's like to be off your meds.
- In the same scene, Matt starts sensually rubbing the thigh of the old man giving him the mission. Pat and the others worriedly point out that Matt's hand is centimeters away from touching Pat's dick, a concern that is restated at multiple points throughout the game.
- When the scene returns to the Framing Device, after putting his hands directly in the blowtorch's flame, Matt tries to get out of the torturer's grasp by giving him a handjob.
Liam: There's a light to your right, you can grab the light and look around with it.Matt: Uh, light to my right?Liam: Yeah, right there-(Matt reaches forward with the hand still holding the gun, accidentally firing and alerting all of the guards.)All: *laughing hysterically*Liam: You've got a gun in your hand!Woolie: R1!
- In the first bit of real gameplay, Matt tries to empty a desk inside a secure gallery, with guards patrolling everywhere. He grabs and loads a gun, and this happens:
- When they play Until Dawn: Rush of Blood, Matt is dismissive and silly about all of the scares... until the ghosts of Hannah and Beth pop out directly next to him while he's looking away, causing him to loudly scream "FUCK!"
- Woolie plays Summer Lesson, a game where you tutor a young Japanese schoolgirl, and Hilarity Ensues.
Liam: So she's like, Mom, don't let fuckin' guys... don't let black guys come into my room.
- After the first meeting in the girl's room, she runs off.
Woolie: *hovering behind her shoulder as she faces the model* I'm your Stand!(Woolie starts to move back, causing her neck to snap back as she focuses on his eyes)Liam: Hikari Miyamoto, half-giraffe, half-human.
- Immediately afterward, Woolie stands up to test the limits of the hardware and has an out-of-body experience, during which he can see his character's unmodeled wireframe body, and the girl continues to follow his eyes as if she still sees him, craning her neck back unnaturally before snapping back to face the wireframe.
- Woolie accidentally leans too far in while resetting himself, and faceplants into her chest, causing the VR to black out due to boundaries. It would be funny on its own, but when Woolie manages to right himself, he finds that due to his position being too far forward relative to the tracking system the game uses, Hikari's arms have been folded inversely inside of her stomach, her spine is arched backward, and her head has tilted down to fuse with her neck.
- Given three icons to choose from for a topic of discussion (the game is in untranslated Japanese with no subtitles), Woolie selects the heart symbol, trying to gauge whether he's asking about "health" or "love." When she's done talking, Liam translates:
Matt: I bet there'll be a time when she says, "Do you wanna have sex?" And you get a prompt, and the only prompt will say "No."Liam: "Gross!" Violently reject Hikari.Matt: Throw up in face.
Liam: I'm glad that, in the span of a half hour, Woolie has experienced synesthesia and rolled around on the ground to see up a girl's panties.
- And this, after Woolie has experimented with more game-breaking angles:
Pat: SMELL HER! I mean, what?Liam: Blow in her ear!Matt: Fart in her ear!Liam: Bite her nape!
- Hikari leans over to show Woolie something on her phone, and Woolie angles his head around so that it's buried in her neck.
Pat: [Chat user] asks the important question: Woolie, why are you licking her eyes?!Woolie: To taste those tears.Pat: Allll riiiiiight.
- Woolie gets ready to quit the game after an extended session of mashing his face into hers.
- Pat starts playing Batman: Arkham VR, and is immediately thrust into seeing Bruce Wayne's parents get shot. He is appropriately the height of a child, but when he starts to play as the adult Bruce, he finds that he still sees from a child's height because he's so short. This reaches a peak when he goes to put on the Batsuit and finds that he's a full head shorter than its neck.Pat: This... I'm not tall enough for this suit! It's so stupid!Matt: Help! I can't get in!
Matt: It, uh, it makes crimes happen.(Pat points it at the wall.)Liam: Crime detected.Matt: Are you black?!Pat: *taps his hip* No, that's what the real gun's for.
- Once he has a mirror shot of Bruce in the Batsuit, Pat immediately does the John Cena taunt, waggles Batman's arms around spastically, and plays with his nipples while shouting that he misses his mom.
- One of the gadgets Batman gets is a crime scene visualizer, which they promptly dub the Crime Gun.
- When Pat realizes he can take out infinite Batarangs from Batman's belt, he starts rapidly pulling them out and ineffectually dropping them the ground until they start to pile up at Batman's feet.
- Upon reaching the Batcave, Pat is brought before a desk of crime scene evidence samples, which he instantly starts throwing into the water. When he goes to throw the card, he turns and accidentally lobs it at Alfred, who strolled up without a sound while Pat was messing around.
- Woolie and Liam try out the Playstation Playroom demos, and find a gamemode where Woolie (wearing the headset) controls a Kaiju while Liam has to run from and fight him. But the game also modulates Woolie's voice to a ridiculously high and light tone that only Liam can hear through the TV. The whole segment has to be seen to be believed.
- Later, when they play Cat and Mouse, Liam gets the same Helium Speech while controlling the cat.
- Matt playing Otaku's fantasy as he can't help but laugh at the dialogue and sound effect. On top of it Matt is clearly drunk.Matt: [reading] I look up the cloudless blue sky on this sunny— there is fucking clouds!
Matt: He fucking wasn't! He just sat there and got a blowjob.
- When one of the woman says that she heard from the first girl the Otaku has sex with that he was so skilled at it.
Matt: Codoon, codoon. What the fuck?
- Part 2 by popular demand has Matt trying his best to read the text again.
- Matt teams up with ProZD to play Phoenix Drive, a very poorly translated Ace Attorney H-game. Hilarity Ensues
- Matt at first try to pretend this is released by Capcom.Prozd: Oh they have voice actors.
Matt: Well it is released by Capcom.
- The choice of words make it feels like Phoenix Wright doesn't wash his dick.
- Matt at first try to pretend this is released by Capcom.
- As the video progresses, everyone starts to talk in shorter sentences. Pat in particular enunciates his scant words quite clearly.Pat: COIN KEEP KEEP COIN!
Super Best Friends Watch
- Their joking attempts to showcase themselves drinking Gatorade to the audience. Then, Matt laughs about the idea of a giant check rising up from behind the couch if they support Microsoft's conference
- Pat makes a joke about watching their facial expressions turning from disgust at a bad game to excitement as it means they will have a good game to play for the show.
- Matt's Fresh Prince joke that continues into the Sony videoMatt: At the start of these things, I always feel like the Fresh Prince. "Where are the video games!?"
- Matt grabs Zach as gameplay of the Call of Duty game is revealed and has him do a little dance.
- Pat's struggle to maintain a stable stream and his ensuing frustration
- The sheer boredom that exudes from the guys as the SCEA CEO, Shawn Layden, talks on and on about the PS4 in ways that they felt did not need to be known is pretty funny. They make a lot of jokes about the man's hand gestures and how he's just barely stopping from blurting out the word "business." Then, right before he announces Sony's newest console (PlayStation TV), the stream freezes for several seconds and we get a shot of Layden standing there as he stares at the camera.
- JoJo's Bizarre Press Conference.
- Their hype at the prospect of a new Zelda game that plays like the original but, as Pat describes, with a seemingly Skyrim-esque design
- The second they see Platinum Games come up, they immediately realize that it's Bayonetta 2 and all three of them basically have an orgasm, especially Woolie, whose arms start flailing like a wet noodle.
- Their reaction to the official title of Yarn Yoshi. Yoshi's Woolly World. Since then, it's become a running gag that it's "Woolie's game"
- Pat, Woolie, and Liam give an exaggerated fake freakout to show how they would have reacted to the Street Fighter V trailer if it had not already been leaked... only to freak out for real when they are shown the world premiere gameplay trailer.
- Pat expresses his disdain for the Miiverse stage in Super Smash Bros for Wii U. Not because it's a bad stage, but because the very first post he saw when he played it was a MAJOR spoiler for the Game of Thrones season finale.
- Matt plays the staunch curmudgeon through the entire video. He's a total downer even during the Last Guardian footage.Matt: Why does this not look much better visually?
Liam: Are you complaining about The Last Guardian?
Woolie: *begins laughing*
Liam: *now incredulous* Are you complaining about The Last! Guardian!? It is localized directly to you!
Matt: They delayed it for what reason?
Pat: Matt, I have an answer for you: the reason—
Liam: THIS IS MAGIC!!!
- On a meta-level, the guys spent the entire previous day's conference laughing at the rumors of The Last Guardian, a Shenmue game, and a Final Fantasy VII remake. All three rumors were proved true to varying levels of shock and delight, especially on Pat's part.
- During the inevitable "sports" version of the conference, one of the guys that they bring out onto the stage has his arm in a cast. The presenter points this out and asks why he has an arm in a cast. The guy in question says that he fell and broke his collarbone because he didn't have his shoes tied. Cue Paige (Pat's girlfriend, who's watching with them) saying "Are you fucking serious?" in an almost dumbfounded tone of voice.
- Pat's reaction to Command and Conquer: Rivals. His soul looks like it's slowly leaving his body.
- A reveal trailer comes up, which contains a bunch of monsters attacking a city, while narration is playing in the background, and all three friends immediately go quiet and watch in rapt anticipation the moment the Capcom logo flashes on-screen. A van speeding down the street pulls close to the camera, revealing the title: Devil May Cry 5. They immediately squeal at the top of their lungs in shock, and Woolie is driven to throaty groans of delight as he realizes that Nero is the main character.Woolie: (Heavy breathing)
Pat: Calm down! Just- Stop making noises!
- Matt's reaction to Nico, the series' newest femme fatale:Matt: Who are you, my new waifu!?
- Matt's reaction to Nico, the series' newest femme fatale:
- Their reaction to the latest of Shonen Jump Crossover Fighting Games, Jump Force. Mostly laughing about Naruto's presence in general to Woolie, how bad Naruto looks in CG, and how weird they all look in real ass Times Square. But the best moment is Matt and Pat's simultaneous, loud, and complete opposite to each other reactions to The Stinger which contains Light Yagami and Ryuk watching on from a rooftop.
- The Gears of War emblem is shown, painted on a wall. A chainsaw rips into it from behind, and the wall crumbles. A lukewarm reception so far, until Marcus Fenix comes into view... as a Funko Pop! Matt cheers, while Woolie pushes his microphone away and leans back in disappointment and disgust.Matt: I was about to say, "I don't know what you have to do to get me excited about Gears anymore", but they fuckin' found it!
SBFP 001: This Is Gonna Be Terrible
SBFP 002: The Feel of a Podcast
- When Matt sent out a copy of DMC: Devil May Cry to the winner of a giveaway, the winner never responded, and the Best Friends come to the conclusion that the winner mistook the game for the HD remastering of the original series.Matt: The guy never told me whether he got it or not...I sent it out and everything...Pat: You killed him!Matt: I'm sorry dead kid...
SBFP 003: My Snake Have Started to Move
- Woolie's cicada impression and the ensuing mental image of Woolie physically making the noise in shows.
- Woolie suggests that Street Fighter 5 will come out at roughly the same time as manned missions to Mars. This somehow transitions into a joke about Woolie as a Mars Rover that constantly lies about finding life.
- Pat's segment on why you should and should not get a gaming PC, with his voice increasing in pitch throughout the entire bit.Pat: Okay, so Saints Row 4 came out last week. I get all hyped for Saints Row 4. I go to play it, I'm playing it, everything's great, I'm having lots of fun, except there's like a really weird slight line in between one of the hair models, on their scalps.Matt: So you threw out your PC.Pat: So I'm like, man, my drivers must be bad, cause I'm using the catalyst 13.6 AMD drivers from my video card. So I go, oh, I'll get the newest beta drivers, but then I do that and then YouTube starts breaking, so how do I roll it back? I can't roll it back to the non-beta drivers, I can only roll it back to the earlier beta drivers which i'm worried about! So now I have the new beta drivers at 13.8, but i'm worried about video playback, and so i'm freaking out and I do a system restore, and then the fucking sony content manager assistant for the Vita breaks, and I lose some of the saves I put up on there, so I've been playing Divekick instead!Others: YEAH!Liam: Buy a gaming PC everybody.
- Towards the end of the Podcast, Liam's utter excitement and glee when a fan asks them if they've 'ever been sucked up in a shitty card game'.Liam: OH BOY!
- The groans of the other three as Liam starts to list off card games he's played are pure gold.
SBFP 004: It Can't Have All Been For Nothing
- Near the end of the podcast, they point out Matt always automatically replaces the word "wrestling" with "rustling" since Rustlemania has begun.
SBFP 005: Pure Scumbag Tactics Are The Only Way To Win
- Matt's story of how he got MGS4, despite not having a PS3.
- Liam's reaction to the reveal of the Pokémon Origins anime."I HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE!"
SBFP 006: Nothing Good Ever Comes In A Bucket
- An email asks the Friends' opinions on the Tales Series. This ends up creating a huge argument between Matt and Pat about Tales vs. Xenogears.
- The next two Podcast release videos mock Xenogears. Matt offhandedly mentions Xenogears, causing Liam to ask "What's Xenogears?" For Episode 7, Woolie asks Pat what his favorite moment is, then dubs over Pat's response to announce the next episode is up.
- Woolie jokes that David Cage's games would scare them if they were sitting around a campfire, telling scary stories."Running home, and you trip over a copy of Heavy Rain, and then you look up to the moon and it's BEYOND TWO SOULLLLLLLS!"
SBFP 008: The Feel Bad Show Of The Century
- The sponsor of this particular episode used "Woolie" as a promotional code.
- Drunk Pat. Sure, he was drunk because he was depressed over the Jojo fiasco, but it makes him super enthusiastic for the entire podcast, the Russian Ladies segment at the beginning being the best example.
SBFP 011: Superman's Bulge Needs to be Made-Off Model.
- The Tauros Dilemma.
- Pat's entire rant about how playing Kingdom Hearts has convinced him that all of the Disney Princesses are terrible. Not just in KH context, but just in general.Pat: Okay, Aurora, Cinderella, Snow White, and Belle all start off the game kidnapped already, because who cares?! [...] Who gives a shit about Aurora? (To Liam) You don't even, you're looking at me and you don't even know who that is!
Liam (Admittedly): I don't, I do not.
Pat: It's Sleeping Beauty. Exactly, yeah, the only cool thing about Sleeping Beauty is Maleficent because she's fuckin' evil.
Pat (raving): THE ENTIRE PLOT! Of The Little Mermaid is she goes up, and she sees a hot dude, and says "Boy, I'd like some dick!" And then she goes to her dad, and her dad says "No dick for you," so then she goes and makes a bad deal with a witch, and then that ends up killing her dad! And then the man has to save her! Everything she does actively empowers her own villain!
- However, during this rant, he singles out Ariel as the absolute worst Disney Princess out of all of them.
Woolie: How much of this is you just hating her gingerness?
Pat: Oh, nothing, nothing! Every single thing every other Princess does is either nothing or at least tries to stop their villain. Right? They're like, "No, don't be evil," "Don't kidnap me!" Or Belle tells Gaston to go fuck himself!
Liam: Yeah, like, tells Gaston to go fuck himself and then tells the Beast, "No, I'm outta here; you're being a dick."
Pat: "Also, you should totally kill Gaston, he's a dick."
Matt: I like the concept of King Triton saying, "No dick for you, you will make do with weird fish-parts."
Pat: All you have is weird fish-parts! Okay?
Woolie: Again, if, like, Mulan was there, she'd be Onimusha-ing it up everywhere.
Pat: Right?! And like, Ariel, instead of fighting her villain, she makes a deal with her villain! And then gets the villain more superpowers! SHE'S TERRIBLE! SHE'S AWFUL!
Liam: We're not arguing.
Matt: No one's saying anything!
Pat: I was asking you guys and no one could come up with her name, and that's sad because that's what she is; she exists to be, "everyone's yelling at us, here's a black princess!"
- Woolie interjecting that there's a new Princess (Tiana), but he can't remember her name, so he just says "the black one from The Black Girl And The Frog."
- Pat refers to Megara as "Elaine Benes in Ancient Greece."
SBFP 012: We Gotta Get Back to Space!
- Pat gets very excited about the plethora of grappling characters in the new Street Fighter game.Matt: What if the fifth character is a grappler?Pat: *shrieking* I WILL PEE! WITH HAPPINESS!
SBFP 013: Never a Good Day with Swamp-ass
- When a fan asks them which JoJo character they'd want to be, Pat has to stop and say that they can't all choose Dio.
SBFP 018: Dickbutt was a Spider-Man Villain
- After Woolie compared how weather powers in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure were used more efficiently than in X-Men:Woolie: I want Araki to write a Marvel comic, like, using the X-Men.
Pat: He did— it's called JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE!
SBFP 019: Voltron Runs on Hepatitis
- The conversation leading up to the line that gives the episode its name:Pat: Wilson's dead.Woolie: And I replaced him, apparently.Matt: I was telling Pat, Pat lost his shit when I was like, "Woolie tells me, 'I was staring at a picture of Voltron, that I and Fred Durst were combining to make, and I stared at it for an hour just going, Where? Why? '"Woolie: Like, usually, I can figure it out even with no context. Woolie the Ent? Sure. I don't need to see that episode, I get it. I get it. It's out there, it's done.Pat: It makes sense.Woolie: But I'm staring at my head on Voltron, and a bunch of rap rockers, and I'm like, "What could have — What? I don't —"Pat: And they all have hepatitis!Liam: Is that the ties that bind?Pat: Yeah! It's hepatitis!
- While discussing what would happen if Capcom went bankrupt and its properties were bought up by other companies:Woolie: When SNK gets the Street Fighter license, I am just walking into the ocean. Like Odysseus's wife, just walking along the beach, and then I'm gone.Matt: And as you go you're, like, shredding your clothes off, for some reason.Woolie: Just tears of blood.
SBFP 022: What does the Doug button do?
- The four summarizing the Final Fantasy X-2.5 novel leads to some hilarious reactions, particularly Pat explaining why the sequels to Final Fantasy X are terrible, with his pitch and tone consistently increasing as he goes.
SBFP 025: Smegmaman is the worst
- The group are discussing the recent name change of Namco-Bandai to Bandai-Namco when the following happens:Matt: I don't even say Bandai, I aways say Namco, cause they make the games.Pat: I'm edgy, so I say Scamco. I also like to spell Microsoft with a dollar sign.Matt: I know I do. Cha-Ching!Brief bit of laughter and sighs from the group:Matt: Ah, I can't wait to move into that GIANT, EXPENSIVE apartment that I can suddenly afford!Pat: That apartment that prior to you arriving had no Xbone, but now you can put Xbone in it!Liam: *Deadpan Tone* You can fit an Xbox One, the all in one entertainment system from Microsoft -Pat: Okay, Okay, everybody stop, this joke has gone on too far.Liam: Do I still get paid for it though?
- For context, this happened in the same week that it was revealed Microsoft were paying YouTubers for Xbox One mentions and support in videos, an offer that wasn't even given to the Best Friends due to them insulting the Xbox One and Kinect repeatedly.
SBFC 030: No More Dutch Rudders
- The group ponders what kind of Anachronism Stew Plague of Gripes has in his work area: Sitting in a rocking chair on a porch and wearing overalls, while using a laptop and drawing on a Cintiq tablet... then stopping to drink from a trough.
SBFC 031: Butthurt Nuns are Totally a Thing
- An anecdote about Buff Bagwell being a successful gigolo somehow leads into a new permutation of the Ric Flair jokes:Woolie: But it's like, you go, "Hey, old wrestlers, where are they now?" "Dead. Fuckin', melting. Falling apart."[scattered laughter]Liam: Getting revived for special events.Pat: Wooooooooooo!Matt: right now!Pat: He's gonna get into it. He's gonna get into it just for the jokes![more laughter]Woolie: Fuckin' Razor Ramon burning a Human Effigy —[seven seconds of helpless cackling]Liam: Collecting humanity from dead wrestlers.[another ten seconds of laughter and coughing fits]Woolie: All right —[Pat continues laughing]
SBFC 038: Not Safe For Life
- Liam's recounting of his reaction to microtransactions in Plants vs. Zombies, which can only be described as "Lemongrab-esque."
SBFC 039: Buttered Poopers Have A Lot Of Groundswell
- The announcement video for the Podcast features Liam and Woolie "shooting" at each other using a hunting game rifle and a Wii zapper respectively, whilst flopping about on Matt's furniture and floor. It's crowned when Woolie "dies" and Liam promptly runs over to teabag him.
SBFC 040: The Good Stuff comes from the 3rd Ass-chamber
- The bootstrapping of Groose's Theme into the Theme of Rape Horse.Pat: Ohhh, that's an inside joke. Oh, that's too inside.
- Liam assumes the phrase "one-drop rule" means "you get to say one incorrect thing without being mocked for it". He could not be more wrong.Woolie: No, no, no, it's a funny twist, but I just think racism's funnier. I'm, I'm eternally amused.
Matt: It's always funny.
Pat: It's funny in this context!
Woolie: Well, yeah! It's great! All three fifths of me are laughing! [chuckles]
Pat: [chuckles] Please tell me I don't have to explain that to you, Liam.
SBFC 043: Too Much Wiener Slappin'
- At the request of a fan the boys put together 60 seconds of sports analysis:Pat: The Football man ran across the fieldWoolie: Sports ball, we're talking about Sports ball!Matt: BLERN, BLERN!Liam: We had the hockey match recently.Matt: The Montreal team beat the New York Floridas
- Related to that, Pat's belief that John Madden is dead, and even if he wasn't, his commentary would be about the same.Pat: They've gotta get the football to the other end of the field!Matt: Whoever scores the most points might wind up winning the game.Woolie: There's a beach ball on the field, and the batboys are arguing who's gonna go get it!
- After a question about family members messing up save files is over, we get this little sequence:Woolie: It really would suck to lose 45 hours of gameplay, cause that's another 45 hours he's gonna spend in front of the TV.Pat: Yeah, but from the parent's point of view, that's extra value.Matt: I doubt they think that far ahead... yeah, fair enough.Pat: Keep this motherfucker out of my hair.Woolie: That's why the concept of summer camp disturbs me, cause it's like, oh, the kids are home from school? I have to deal with them? Fuck that shit, out of the house you go!Pat: Billy, Billy, okay, you need to go to summer camp. Why? Cause you can't be around. Why? CAUSE I NEED TO FUCK YOUR MOM, GET OUT!Liam: (As Billy) You're not daddy!
SBFC 047: It's All Downhill From Here
- Late in the podcast the talk turns again to Liam's trip to Japan. Woolie brings up that Liam probably just watched anime (in Japan!) Matt finds the image that Liam spent sixteen hours traveling to Japan only to just sit in his apartment all day and watch unsubtitled anime hilarious.
- Apparently, the first time Pat tried to learn what Homestuck was, he sincerely thought that he had to input commands.
SBFC 048: That's Not A Baby, That's A Pile Of Syringes
- One of the odder Letter Time questions leads to Pat being very proud that none of the Zaibatsu answered with "semen."Liam: We have this ticker that said, "0 Days Without A Dick Joke" and I guess it's staying there.Pat: You go to roll it over and it's just "0" underneath!Liam: Preemptively.
SBFC 049: Living In The Database
- The ad-spot for Loot Crate reveals Pat's frustration with Pirate Hot Topic.
- When playing Own, Work For or Burn Down with the websites 4chan Tumblr and Reddit, Pat comes to the conclusion that he should burn down the internet, making the world a utopia. When Matt points out that he'd be back at his previous job, and Woolie points out he'd have to leave his house to buy things, Pat decides to burn down the earth.Matt: Burn it to the ground?Pat: Yeah, that's right.
SBFC 050: PJ Phil Is Becoming Shang Tsung
- The taste test for the Banana Split Oreos prompts the return of Woolie's food-induced chain of "nope"s, only seen before when a fan sent them salmiakki.
SBFC 051: Goichi Friendcast
- Woolie and Pat's planned trips to Japan come up and Matt exhorts them to spend a night in Aokigahara, since Liam "failed in his task."Matt: You need to deliver a "I stay in the suicide forest for a night" video and get that for me.Liam: That task.Matt: You failed at that.Liam: Well, it's illegal, soMatt: Well, you still failed.Pat: Guess what? I'm preemptively failing this task.Matt: Well, it's up to you, Woolie!Woolie: I'll walk around and then fuckin', "BITCH NIGGA GHOSTS! COME GET ME, MUH'FUCKAS!"Liam: As he gets arrested.Woolie: By really nervous Japanese cops.Pat: To be fair, a lot of those older deader ghosts will think you're like a scary monster.Woolie: Well, like, Japanese ghosts, like, "Please don't call me that! That makes me really uncomfortable, you guys!"Matt: "Kaibutsu! Kaibutsu!"Pat: "Sumimasen. Ohhh "Woolie: "Yoroshiku, bitches!"Matt: Some Japanese ghost looks at Woolie and he's like, "Goooukiii "
SBFC 056: Live from PAX: Nonstop Infinite Ass Dumping
- Woolie, Pat and Liam's trip to the Cheescake Factory. All of it; from the three being shocked by the huge servings, to Liam texting Matt, saying that they're busy "dumping non-stop infinite ass", to Matt's reaction when he takes a bite of the leftovers they brought to their hotel room.
SBFC 057: What's the Coolest Name for a Pet Raven?
- Their vicious condemnation of the book industry as mass murderers of trees in their Audible.com plug.
SBFC 061: THERES A SKELETON INSIDE EACH OF US, WAITING TO BURST OUT
- The Running Gag gag of fans thinking that Pat is turning into a dog due to him saying "Woof" a lot. When Liam later in the podcast makes a REALLY controversial comparison later in the podcast, even Pat himself agrees.
- Woolie was in Japan for this podcast, in the same week it was announced that Naruto was ending. Woolie proceeds to take credit for killing off the series.
- In other Japan news, when asked if he'd been to see the Platinum Games offices while he was in Osaka, Woolie proceeds to drive the others nuts by being coy. You can hear Pat wanting to choke him. Also, the tale of Meatman.
SBFC 062: Time Ethics Do Not Exist
- The entire discussion leading up to the naming of the week's episode, with Pat's increasingly unethical plans to get money by stealing it from the future, and Liam arguing with him. Such plans include: Getting lotto results and sport almanacs to fix bets, using a 20th century gun to rob people in the future, and robbing Liam's descendants.
SBFC 063: That Deer Just Did An Aegis Reflector
- Pat's trip to Nara, where he sees an innocent lady trying to feed a deer, and getting headbutted for her troubles. Thankfully, the deer was without its antlers, but the conversation leads to the episode title being dropped when they compare the deer to Urien.
- Pat's in Japan and appreciating the pre-meal towels they give at eateries. The rest tell him to take his shirt off and clean his pits with them. Pat assures them that such behavior would get him thrown out of Japan. Special guest-star Maximillian then gives us this highly amusing mental image.
- Matt and Max fighting over whose pet (Zach or Benny) is the best. The preview video plays Sonic Boom while showing Zach being lazy while playing I am as Benny is excited getting a bath.
SBFC 070: God Supports Straight Shota
- Matt and Pat return to the topic of which type of mermaid is better. Pat argues regular, Matt argues "reverse mermaid":Pat: You can have sex and it's not the fish part
Matt: No you can't!
Pat: You don't tell me where I can have sex!
Matt: I don't, thank God.
SBFC 075: Chickens Are Noble Creatures
- Matt's watching of Pumping Iron, and the surprising revelation that Arnold's infamous line about 'lifting being as satisfying as cumming' is a sentiment shared by other professional bodybuilders. Followed up quickly with a spot-on set of impersonations from Matt of Arnold destroying Lou Ferrigno psychologically, complete with the bizarre exertion noises Arnold is known for.
SBFC 078: Panty-raiding the Langzone
- The video for the podcast consists of the entire group imitating Matt, with predictable results.Woolie: You know, the actual difference this iteration of Godzilla is- is the spines and the leg thickness-
Matt: You're actually being correct about this, you know?
SBFC 079: Sneaky Stab Attack at the Start of the 2nd Round
- The Best Friends are brought to the topic of how, in 1998, Nintendo made a proposal to get all adaptational rights to Harry Potter. Someone suggests it should have resulted in Xenoblade Chronicles with Harry Potter characters, which everyone finds really hype.Matt: IT'S RON TIME!
- Then, about ten seconds later, Pat makes the exact same joke because he didn't hear Matt making it.
- When asked what unique item they would drop if they were a video game boss, Liam says it would be the mask he took from killing the previous Liam. "And when you put it on, your life would change forever."
SBFC 082: NO GODS. OR KINGS. ONLY SSAPO.
- Leana (Matt's fiance) making a tipsy guest appearance to refute the claims that she was the one who told them to turn the game down during ''Bio F.R.E.A.K.S.'. It's then follow by Pat pointing out how bizarre it feels to have a podcast of people listeners think of as being in "negative" space interrupted all of a sudden by an actual person outside the recording area.
SBFC 083: The Beard Doesn't Move Very Much, But, But When It Does, You'd Better Listen
- Pat kicks off a giggling fit when he mentions that he'd care a lot more about the WWE if they had time-travel storylines.
- Towards the end of the podcast, Woolie talks about he met Slowbeef in person and they came to a mutual understanding about each other's tastes and how they were exactly the same in that respect. Then Pat brings up that if Slowbeef brought up Biker Mice from Mars and how much he loved it, wouldn't that mean Woolie secretly loves it too? This is met by obstinate denial from Woolie who immediately cuts off the podcast there.
SBFC 084: Should I Stop Masturbating?
- Pat has a healthy blood pressure level.Matt: I find that incredibly hard to believe.
Pat: So does my doctor.
Woolie: Yeah, I was about to say, your doctor probably went like, " Wh— Uh, can we do that again?"
Pat: We did.
- Woolie gets exposed to the battle theme of Xenoblade Chronicles X.
SBFC 085: Syringes Filled With Corn Syrup
- Liam continues to bring his A-game in a discussion of MH4U:Pat: 'Cause somebody's like, "Apex monsters are bullshit"?
Liam: 'Cause like, five hundred people who reviewed it one-star are like, "Apex monsters are bullshit!"
Pat: But they need to put something like that into the game, because otherwise the game would just end at Gogmazios, because, like, it already has, like —
Liam: God forbid it end at two hundred hours. God forbid.
Matt: Aw geez.
Woolie: [dissolves into laughter]
- During a fan-mail challenge to have each of the zaibatsu give honest compliments to all the others, Pat has difficulty thinking of one for Woolie.Woolie: Wow. WOW
(Pat starts laughing)
Woolie: Fuck you.
Pat: You guys are all CUNTS!
- And after they move onto another fan-mail, you can hear Pat in the background complaining that now that they spent a long time complimenting each other, "this doesn't feel right". And when he interjects out of the blue with...
SBFC 089: Three-fifths of a Podcast
- Pretty much everything. One thing that comes to mind is the entirety of the "Chewie and Fuckface" conversation.
- The lead into it is gold. It involves Pat's enthusiasm at him and Woolie being able to cut in front of other passengers on a plane, the other passenger's anger over his boasting, and Pat disguising himself and Woolie with the fake show host names "Chewie and Fuckface", which THEN leads into a joke about them taking down Game Grumps.
- They spend a a few minutes in the very beginning with Matt discussing how inappropriate it is for anyone (ex. Woolie) to order non-breakfast food in a breakfast-oriented restaurant in the morning. The discussion includes such gems as:
- Matt describing Woolie as 'the toughest 85 year old grandma ever' after Woolie orders a steak and eggs and removes everything on the plate except for the steak.
- Matt screaming with rage at how Woolie shouldn't be complaining about replacing breakfast food at a breakfast restaurant at breakfast.
- Matt's completely insane time linkage of food, where he insists that anyone who eats steak in the morning is wrong, even though there's dishes like steak and eggs. The conversation eventually leads to Matt shouting at lions on the Serengeti to stop eating meat so early in the morning.
- Pat trying to justify energy drinks in the morning.
- Matt sheepishly trying to justify eating a cookie in the morning after turning the others down for burgers by saying he was offered the cookie.
- Liam weighing in on Tim Hortons having a subtitle in America.Liam: Yeah, but you don't have to make it easy for the filthy Americans.
Pat: STOP TALKING! STOP...STOP TALKING!
- Immediately followed up by Pat attempting to excuse Liam's comment by jokingly saying that Liam meant Americans are literally unwashed, only for Liam to double down on this comment and agree with Pat. Liam attempts to continue explaining exactly what he meant, but is continually and frantically cut off by Matt, Woolie, and Pat.
- The entire leadup to the podcast-naming comment.Pat: But my favorite part of this story, that you're leaving out, is the text message that is entitled, "Did you sign my e-mail up for some weird black thing?"
Matt: I just unsubscribed. I'm good, I have all the black people I need.
Woolie: Wow. Wow.
Matt: Well, I obviously mean other friends —
Woolie: I'll make sure not to introduce you to anybody! God forbid we go over the quota.
Matt: So, what have we done? In the first thirty minutes, Liam's shit on all of America, I've apparently shit on all black people, Woolie hates everyone that eats breakfast —
Liam: How is your tolerance for black people — how is your maximum cap limit one three-fifths of a person?
Everyone: (explodes into hysterical laughter)
Woolie: Liam — I'm giving you a hug right now. I taught you well.
- Near the end of the podcast Matt tells a story of how he, Liam, and Woolie were walking down a street and Matt found a 20 dollar bill. Cue Woolie trying to convince Matt to give it to him by mentioning it was his birthday three days ago, and, when that fails, by just telling him he's cold.
- Pat gets repeatedly distracted in the last half-hour of the podcast by Sonic gifs that are playing (for some reason) on Matt's laptop. Matt intentionally moves the laptop so that Pat has a better view.
SBFC 091: Slurping from the Vats
- The story of Ari the XBox modder.
SBFC 092: Post Apocalyptic T-pose Culture
- The runup to the inspiration for the podcast title.Pat: What happened in '92?
Woolie: Grenada happened in '92.
Pat: Oh, yeah? It was founded?
Woolie: It was ongoing.
Pat: What do you mean, "ongoing," wasn't that a single day?
Woolie: Well, it didn't exist until I landed, and then it ceased existing the moment I took off.
Pat: Your personal Grenada.
Woolie: It despawned once it was out of sight of the plane.
Pat: It's like, "Wow, the whole country just bamfed past the zone-wall "
Woolie: "Now you're just a skybox, fucker! ...Bye, family!"
Pat: [loses it]
Liam: Everyone's T-posing with placeholder textures. Just spinning around on the spot.
SBFC 096: Everyone Saw His Balls On Stream
- The podcast takes place as numerous announcements are being made, prompting Matt to bellow at the top of his lungs with excitement at a new Turok game being announced at one point.
SBFC 097: Everybody Rumored. Nobody Believed. NOW YOU SEE IT'S TRUE. (feat. James Small)
- Liam hates Super Smash Brothers and wants Nintendo to die.Liam: I hate Smash 4. I hate Smash 4. I play it all the time, I hate it.
Pat: That's the honesty I want.
Liam: I have like a hundred and forty hours of play time, I hate this game! There's nothing to do! I get no enjoyment out of playing it!
Woolie: Save it for the State of the Smash Address.
Matt: And we established that you played a shitty rhythm game for more time than we play a game we like!
Liam: I played Vampire Rain, too.
Pat: [Liam and James Small] sittin' next to each other on the couch is appropriate.
SBFC 103: This MUST be the work of an Enemy Stand
- Pat recounts his introduction to Overlord:Somebody tried to sell this to me and they made a really strong pitch. And it was like, "Pat, imagine Sword Art Online." Okay, I know Sword Art Online. "Now imagine Kirito is like this Mary Sue, like, perfect author self-insert badass super MMO-player." Alright, got it. "And all the girls like him." Okay. Got it. "Now imagine instead of Kirito it was a fuckin' eight-foot-tall skeleton."
- The entire damn discussion about the Pants-Shitting Stand User and how it is really the ultimate Stand.
SBFC 104: The DBZ Fanfiction Revue
- The Horseporn.com discussion, especially since it was couched like they had just signed up for said website, and going into how it can be integrated into your Xbox Achievements and Amazon Drones airlifting a horse dildo to your front door.
- The episode title comes from Pat, continuing a train of thought he put out on twitter the previous day, getting bizarrely intense about a piece of Dragon Ball fanfiction where Gohan is the main character, Chichi was the hero who died before the story started, Goku was just a non-powered guy who runs a car wash, and Gohan had to be trained by not just Piccolo (who happened to be fused with Tien at the time), but also Master Roshi and Krillin. He was actually talking about Steven Universe, because he finally got around to watching it. Sadly, because Matt wasn't there, Woolie hadn't seen it, and Liam wasn't paying attention, Pat had to explain this despite how increasingly obvious it got.
- Pat's obsession with Resident Evil 2 has grown to the point of never playing portable games on public transport because he's too busy going through RE2 in his head.Liam: You know, if you get an NVidia Shield, you can just play it anywhere.
Pat: No, it's better in my head because it goes faster—because I'm not limited by game time.
Liam: You know you already have a Vita and you could just play it anywhere—
Pat: No, you don't underst—do you know how fast you can go through that game if you're not bound by time and space, Liam?!
SBFC 107: SuperBarfBarfBarf At Barfmail Dot Barf
- The Summerslam discussion wherein Liam proposes an ideal trajectory for Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker's characters.Liam: So I was saying, I want Lesnar to win. But what I want to happen is at the very end, you see Taker put his hand on Lesnar's face and do some magic shit and imply a transfer of souls.
Woolie: [loses it]
- Words don't do the announcement video justice. See for yourself.
Matt: This a weird fucking MAGfest...(Everyone promptly loses it.)
- It starts with Matt recording a shower while calling out to Woolie who then opens the shower curtain to reveal Liam, Takahata101, Brennan Williams, CrankyConstruct, Boku no Eruption, and Geoff Thew (of Mother's Basement) all standing inside it. They then decide to talk about how their anime intro would look like.
- Woolie talking about his Xbox 360 Bag which quickly devolves into him about how he Xbox 360 wasn't that bad. A fan decided to animate it.
SBFC 114: Crowdfund the Fourth Reich
- Their discussion of the adaptational Race Lifts regarding The Last Airbender and Jive Turkey Masao/Mark in Persona 1.Woolie: His race is region-locked.
- The director of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice's comments on Ant-Man lead to them discussing theoretical scenarios in which the actors for Captain America and Superman duke it out Metal Gear Solid-style as a means of strategic control over movie theaters.Pat: We need fights at movie premieres. I wanna see Chris Evans punch whatever Superman's name is in the face at a movie premiere. I wanna see it.
Woolie/Liam: In Captain America costume.
Pat: He shows up and you're like, 'what a dork' and he just starts fighting everyone.
Liam: And they start playing a new Captain America movie instead.
Pat: Then fucking Matt Damon's there and he's protecting Ben Affleck.
Woolie: But they switch it up on you because you're in a rogue theater.
Liam: A theater without a country. A theater without a nation, without borders, all for revenge.
SBFC 126: She Almost Stopped Mr. Domino
SBFC: 130: The Grand Unified Theory
- The last several minutes and the youtube preview video, wherein the Super Best Friends get incredibly hilariously hyped over how they can manage to cross over everything forever.
SBFC: 146: Team 3=D. Very Hard. Much Difficulty.
- Liam describes the Vocaloid concert he attended.Liam: Yes.Woolie: Did you get backstage?Liam: Yes, and they were there... doing lines of coke.Woolie: Niiiice.Pat: Digital coke.
- Followed by Liam's stated desire for Tupac to show up and sing with the girls.
- This being the first podcast after the end of Woolie's Heavy Rain stream, the guys reveal what went on immediately after Woolie's mid-credits Rage Quit. Apparently, the game was bad enough to him that he really did cross the Despair Event Horizon, barely participating in their usual scheduling and simply sitting and staring at the floor while Matt and Pat started to leave. And while they're describing to Liam the various breaking points he missed, they hint at a now-infamous death as the start of the downward spiral. He immediately knows.Liam: Did Jayden go in the chipper?Woolie: Right in.
- While Pat discusses the new device he has to wear to help him breathe for a sleep study, he makes an Accidental Innuendo about it pumping into his throat. This kicks off a chain of steadily escalating oral sex jokes at Pat's expense.
Liam: Would you die if we put bleach in it?Pat: Yeah.
- He also mentions that he has to refill a water tank that will spray into his throat as he breathes, and that the doctors are adamant that he has to use distilled water as it is the only safe thing. The others then suggest that he fill it with Mountain Dew Code Red, absinthe, or moonshine.
SBFC: 151: Gotta Go Fath/ Frak Frag Fry
- About fifteen minutes in the audio cuts and Pat, Woolie, and Liam say that lost audio and didn't notice, and are re-recording the next day. All three are clearly tired and pissed that they have to re-record. Pat tries a little to muster enthusiasm, but Woolie and Liam are talking in the most deadpan manner, and eventually Pat starts yelling at them for not trying.
SBFC: 152: Perpetual Motion Hustler's Paradise
- At the start, the gang get into a roughly six-minute discussion that eventually transitions to fighting games, during which Woolie casually brings up how Dead Or Alive 5 could have been their BlazBlue in a different timeline. He then asks Pat, who's played the game, whether he saw the final boss. After more discussing, Pat name-drops the boss, Alpha-152. He then realizes that Woolie's manipulated the whole conversation for an excuse to use the podcast number.Matt: That was the longest con ever!
- The comment that jumps the discussion to fighting games from listener feedback on the previous episode is standard-issue Pat:Pat: Y'know what, Woolie, I gotta say, I think you're right about what we find funny [not being what everybody else finds funny]. But that being said, in terms of the podcast energy, I really don't think we should've played that hour of BlazBlue in between the two recordings.
Woolie: [ugly laughter]
- The comment that jumps the discussion to fighting games from listener feedback on the previous episode is standard-issue Pat:
SBFC: 155: God Confirmed for Real
- Pat getting creeped out by Woolie and Liam decidedly not talking about the last Splatfest. It sounds like Woolie and Liam had very strong opinions about the last Splatfest, and them avoiding even mentioning their thoughts on the results makes Pat wonder if they have guns pointed on them.
SBFC: 161: What Yuh Messin' Wit
- A news story about an unearthed George Carlin special makes the guys hypothesize about other hidden works of deceased artists, eventually coming up with Biggie Smalls inventing Let's Plays.
SBFC: 162: Benoit was in the Basement
- The boys observe the uncanny similarities between Lucha Underground and Attack on Titan.
- The revelation that Woolie has never played Batman: Arkham Asylum leads to one of the podcast's longer giggle-fits.Pat: You didn't — you didn't play Arkham Asylum?
Woolie: I hear Asylum's a really good game and I know that people've been talking about them for the last ten years —
Pat: You didn't play Arkham Asylum?
Matt: I don't think his answer's gonna change.
Liam: You're bein' that guy. You're being that guy who's like, "Oh! You haven't seen Death Note?!"
[ten seconds later, Matt's laughter has died down to a chuckle]
Matt: Like, you could've picked one of five animes, but you actually picked the right one there.
[after thirty seconds, Woolie calms down enough to breathlessly rejoin the conversation]
Woolie: Fuckin' bullseye! Oh my god, the bullseye is so real!
[Pat takes fifty-five seconds to regain his composure]
Pat: Alright, so I'm gonna concede that point.
SBFC: 164: RKO That Giraffe For A Save State
- The entire "wrestling and sacrificing animals for special powers" conversation is a thing of beauty.
- Early in the conversation, Matt leaves for the bathroom. When the question of RKOing a giraffe comes up, Matt can suddenly be heard laughing in the background, causing Pat to yell not to piss on his floor.
- They determine that a gorilla would No-Sell an RKO and then kill you.
- Such ideas are exchanged as slamming a beaver into its own home for lightning powers (and consequently slamming two beavers into each other for Chain Lightning) and making a platypus tap out, which Pat explains would poison the ring, for a Flash Step.
- The exchange, which goes on for about half an hour, ends with Matt saying he would kill a star-faced mole. Pat brings up that they can teach earthbending, to which Matt shuts him up and says that he's talking about a fictional animal.
- The part immediately after that conversation, in which Pat, bringing up an earlier part of the conversation, randomly starts playing turtle sex noises on his phone.
- While discussing their preferred theater snacks for a letter, Matt recounts an experience from when he and Woolie went to see Gravity together. Matt decided to get ice cream as a snack, but when he went into the theater, he somehow managed to accidentally sit in the ice cream. He had to sit through the entire movie with his ass freezing, unable to stand up because he thought everyone would know, and for extra salt in the wound, the ice cream soaked into his new vest and made it brittle, ruining it. The others, especially Woolie, are stunned that he never told this story after three full years.
SBFC: 166: Rob Liefeld Is The Uwe Boll of David Cage
- The entire conversation that ensues when Liam talks about the stew he made. Due to a mistake he made measuring the ingredients, he accidentally made several gallons of stew. It's funny enough from the idea, but then Woolie accidentally offends Liam with a poorly worded remark about him using "the incorrect proportions," turning it briefly into Serious Business as Matt and Pat giggle helplessly.
Woolie: Liam, I do want some stew.Liam: Oh, there's none left.Woolie: Aw...Liam: Not for you!Woolie: Awww!
- Which ends with this:
SBFC: 167: ! PC Cursed !
- The Title Drop, when the group stumbles into a conversation about replacing biological weapons with curses while discussing Resident Evil 7, which devolves into them rambling about everything from their computers to Hello Games to Woolie himself being cursed.
- Pat explains an elaborately passive-aggressive way he teases his girlfriend about forgetting her keys: a small locker that contains the spare keys which only Pat knows the combination of, that he condescendingly unlocks every time she loses them and when she needs to put back the spares. Later, Pat receives a text from his girlfriend and remembers that the podcast being live means she heard everything he said, when Pat had told her the locker was used for other things.
- Liam and Pat are arguing about how creepy the game "Summer Lessons" is with Liam defending that people are exaggerating the creep factor while Pat brings up they can't ignore it has creeps. Matt adds that he is confident no one playing the game does it so they can teach Summer lessons.
SBFC: 169: Sense of Blackface Alliance
- Discussing the new Berserk game leads to the reveal of collectible Behelits, and the group's appropriately flabbergasted reactions.
- Their discussion on how to resolve custoday disputes through a ladder match with a gun, which made it into the announcement video:Pat: 'Cause you have to get the gun and give it to the child, and the child has to shoot your opponent.Matt: And you have to help him aim.Woolie: The child, the gun, and the child's ownership papers... are all hanging above the ring.Matt: (breaks down laughing over "child ownership")Pat: Okay, new idea. It's a child holding the gun, hanging from the ceiling, and the child has to shoot the guy, but the child is blindfolded. So you climb the ladder to un-blindfold him, and then tell him to shoot the other guy.Matt: So it's a blindfold-ladder-gun-child match.Liam: But if he thinks you're not his dad, he might shoot you!Woolie: But where, where are the custody papers?Pat: The custody papers... are...Matt: They're in the child's back pocket. No, his backpack!Liam: He's hanging from his backpack-Pat: No, no, the child is... in a pinata, with the gun. And you have to break it open, and the custody papers fall out, and then you show the custody papers to the child, and he uses the gun to shoot your opponent.
SBFC: 174: Now THAT'S Hip-Hop
- Woolie talks about enjoying a steak at place called "The Grinder", futilely trying to sandbag Pat and Matt's dick jokes and entendre, until eventually...Pat: Just go down and try them all.(Pat loses it)Woolie: Big ol' penises just right in my mouth! For my birthday! The biggest you can get! Off of the app grinder. How fast can I find the penises for my mouth?!Matt: Woolie, you should've done this second one.
- The podcast/stream has a technical problem, so there's a timeskip. After the skip, Matt is rambling about Congo, Pat is losing it, and Woolie is dead silent. The issue exacerbates as Matt spends the rest of the podcast bringing up Congo at random times.
- The title of the podcast is from Pat talking about how he doesn't like Hip-Hop, but he likes how things can be Hip-Hop.Pat: "Man why'd you glue your arms to your sides?" "That's real hip-hop, man." "How are you going to hug your kids?" "That's a real hip-hop." (laughs)
SBFC: 177: The 4th Trimester & The Holy Afterbirth
- The Running Gag of pissing and shitting everywhere while saying "you can't stop this", which goes from Pat to people they know to animals.
- The otherwise sad few minutes where they address Liam leaving the Zaibatsu quickly turn to them discussing sex in a Xena mask and the aforementioned Running Gag.
SBFC: 181: Strong Opinions About Flags (Feat. Super Eyepatch Wolf)
- The title comes from a rather extended and impassioned conversation Pat and Woolie get into regarding the similarities between the flags of various countries and how stupid it is that many of them look the same. After many, many minutes of this, they finally ask their guest (Super Eyepatch Wolf, aka John) what he thinks of the issue.John: (sarcastically) Well, I don't know. I don't have many strong opinions about flags.
- A discussion about dying before anticipated video game releases eventually leads to Woolie giving Pat a request in case he has a heart attack.
SBF 190: When Kevin Sorbo Dies, WE DIE
- Pat and Woolie again start talking about how they need to avoid dying before they can play good video games, leading to this gem:Pat: You know what, you know what - when I get old and Persona 10 is coming out, I'm gonna have to kill Time.Matt: Yeah, when you get old and Persona 10 - try maybe 6, by the time YOU'RE old...Let's say 7: Golden.
SBF 196: Not the Spawncast (feat. Mr. Clemps)
- Before they talk about Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Woolie decides to briefly bring up Spawn, causing Matt to get excited and Pat to get angry and leave the room.Woolie: Get your ass back here!
Pat, from the other room: NO!
Matt: You have to talk about Spawn with us.
Pat, from the other room: I don't wanna talk about Spawn!
- A viewer mail asks what memory you would most want to have a video of. Pat and Woolie say their choices are "sex things" they're not going to discuss. As Matt starts to talk, Pat interrupts to backpedal, clarifying that he and Woolie are not talking about the same moment.
SBFC 207: GoutSydePhil
- The very end of the podcast has Woolie suddenly deciding to prattle on about BlazBlue's overly complex lore whilst ignoring Matt and Pat's protests. In response, Pat starts ranting about Star Trek and Matt occasionally responds, both overlapping over each other for a full minute before Pat caps off the whole podcast with a desperate shout of "WHEN IS THIS GONNA STOP?!"
SBFC 211: Icelandic Necropants: Always bet on 「GOUGI」
- During a conversation about which Persona 5 girl is the best romance option, Pat goes on a long tear about how Makoto is the worst option because Sae exists even if you can't have her. Woolie, who romanced Makoto and clearly prefers the pairing of Ren/Makoto, isn't quite happy as Pat continues to push his point.
SBFC 225: Ultra Instinct Breakneck Suplex Mamorus
- The Voodoo Shark that is S-cells is introduced, and Pat and Woolie rail at Toriyama.Woolie: You're yelling at a cloud, old man.
Pat: I'm yelling at an old man shaped like a cloud that only flies with the pure of heart! Alright?
Woolie(audibly guffawing): It's incredible how much of a hack!
Matt: It's almost admirable.
Woolie(cont'd): This genius creator is! This, this historic, loved - He's incredible! He's someone who's name should be, like, put on the walls-
Pat: But he's the worst writer ever.
Woolie: -of manga history forever- HE'S A HACK!!! It's incredible! Keep the man away from his own work! *dejected* Go back to Doctor Slump!
SBFC 226: Necrid Must Win
- The announcement video is pretty much them trying to hide their approval of Cody's new design from Street Fighter V Arcade Edition.
- It is sometimes stated that Cody was one of the strongest characters in the Street Fighter Universe, and he only wears the handcuffs to hold himself back from accidentally killing everyone he fights. Him breaking his handcuffs in the Cinematic Intro has them clearly come to one conclusion.Matt: Literally, everyone is dead now.
Woolie: And that's how Street Fighter 3 became a thing.
Pat: Oh no...
Matt: The most powerful character...
Pat: Yeah, everyone in this game that doesn't show up in Street Fighter III: Third Strike? Cody killed them.
SBFC 227: Christmascast 2017: It Wasn't About Arby's, It Was About Abortion
- When asked by a fan letter what they would do to change Christmas if they became Santa, Woolie's answer is purposefully, hilariously predictable; he wants Christmas to become a fighting game plot, where billions of kids from around the world gather to fight in a vaguely defined fighting tournament with double elimination rules, with kids placing higher in the brackets getting better presents. The child who beats all other challengers would then go on to challenge Woolie Claus himself, and by beating him, become the Santa for the next 'King of Iron Christmas' tournament. Yes, that name is actually dropped in Woolie's excited descriptions.
SBFC 240: Grind your Party Member's Kids
- Woolie's reaction to Zelda Fuller from The Shape of Water is disbelief that a 60's era Sassy Black Woman would be accepting of her friend fucking a fishman, instead suggesting that she'd throw a bible at her and tell her to both find Jesus and to find out exactly how old the Asset actually is to make sure she's not violating the age of consent.
SBFC 241: Heroin Tag Frenzy
- Pat's spoilercasts the Ready Player One movie and spends some time detailing a ridiculous case of Hollywood Homely (Art3mis, portrayed by Olivia Cooke of all people). As Woolie is unfamiliar with the actress he shows him a picture, and Woolie, familiar with the character's depiction in the book, proceeds to instantly laugh. Matt adds to it by noting it is very similar to how it would be played in an eighties film, sounding like he's defending the decision... only to then point out that not only was the movie itself made in 2018, but the setting of the story is 2045.
SBFC 244: Beyond Two Holes
- The title of the podcast comes from an incredible Freudian Slip on Pat's part, as he attempts to give Detroit: Become Human the mocking nickname of Detroit: Beyond: Two Souls, only to call it Detroit: Beyond Two Holes. Matt and Woolie both declare it to be the official unofficial nickname, while Pat is too busy breaking down with laughter to comment.
- Pat explaining his problem of dropping the whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet.
SBFC 249: Fowl Play: Get Ducked
- They get into a discussion about sequels being named the same thing as the original. Matt makes Woolie look up the list of the Halloween movies on IMDB. Woolie reads it and gets to the last three, and as he says the words ("Halloween. Halloween II. Halloween!"), everyone immediately corpses. They immediately declare that the franchise is the worst offender of this behavior they've ever seen.Pat: "Let's watch Halloween, I like that!" "Which one? One, two, or three?"
Woolie: "Wait, Halloween 3?"
Pat: "NO, the third Halloween!"
SBFC 253: What time is it? 5 o clock?
- The Zaibatsu discuss the Morbius announcement... briefly, before trailing off into discussions of the Midnight Sons, Matt discovering a new edgelord created from a Fusion Dance of other edgelords, and finally, the embarassment that is Night Watch. To become a Spike Lee joint soon...ish! Maybe?Matt: Do you know how I found his name? I put in Spawn rip-off!
SBFC 256: You Can't Stop Us from Drinking the Sarcophagus Juice
- The team talk about their earliest experiences with the internet, and Woolie mentions being disappointed with Nuke.com, because all it had was copies of material published in GamePro magazine. This leads to discussion of IGN's various name changes and how it used to be IGN64, and before that, N64.com. This gets Pat curious about whatever happened to Nuke.com...
- Matt's Bomb-Ass Trip to the Zoo video where he indulges in a newfound love for red pandas - as hinted at in the promos for the Super Best Friends Podcast - but not only that; As he's visiting with a lady-friend, he actually pulls off an incredibly cheesy line about 'filming beautiful creatures' when she catches him filming her and not the animals.
- In 'Bomb-Ass Wrestling Adventure!, in continuation of trying to get the WWE to acknowledge Chris Benoit, Pat brings a sign reading "BRING BACK BENOIT".
- In Matt's Bomb-Ass Journalism Thing About Cereal!, Matt spends about ten minutes, alone, in a supermarket making a video about various brands of cereal.
- Near the end of the video, Matt spots Reese Puffs. Cue Smash Cut of him pushing a cart absolutely packed with boxes of it.
- Matt compares the mascot of Apple Jacks to Woolie (due to the fact they both have dread locks), calling it an Ancient Conspiracy and that Woolie is somehow involved with all cereals.
- There's a cut to Matt giving Woolie some cereal and telling him it's really good. Woolie takes a bite and gives a face that makes it look like he just ingested sour milk...then 5 seconds later says "oh man this is so good!" and starts rapidly eating the cereal.
- There's a great but subtle moment where there's a very brief camera cut, as if something needed to be edited out. After the cut, Pat is covering his face with his hand in disbelief, and Matt declares "I just made the video!"
- Liam receives an envelope, which contains a card...but is also filled to the brim with pink glitter. Cue Liam dumping the glitter as everyone loses their shit...and then a Smash Cut where the glitter is shown being vacuumed up.Matt: THANKS, TIM!
- The last package they open. There's some build-up to it as Woolie removes the bubble wrap that's obscuring it, only to reveal a rather large, framed portrait of Steve Buscemi. They all agree that it's for Pat.Woolie: Enjoy Steve Buscemi staring at you.Matt: While you masturbate.
- Once again, the last packages turn out to be the most fun, including Pat being sent not one, but two babies in response to an off-hand comment he made on the podcast, 8lbs of cereal marshmallows, and a Bayonetta figure that almost causes the gang to kill each other.
- The Running Gag with the gang receiving baby-related material. They first receive a VHS copy of Baby Geniuses, and then a baby doll...which also had a drawing of a Ryuko Matoi dickbutt over it. And then, the very next package Woolie opens reveals another baby.
- One of Pat's gifts was a Japanese copy of Yakuza 5, which at the time of the recording had no localization outside of Japan much to Pat's frequently expressed ire at the time. And just to twist the knife in him, the person who sent the gift also sent a note that read:"Enclosed is the current state of North American localization for Yakuza 5", and a copy of the Basic Japanese-English Dictionary for his "localization needs".
- After several episodes of jokes about the inevitable package full of vipers, the friends receive a disc of Viper's album You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack. Woolie bursts out laughing. And is later attacked by snakes no less than three times.
- The slightly unnerving piece of mail the best friends receive; It's either utterly hilarious or slight nightmare fuel given the content, which is some sort of stapled together collection of bizarre odds and ends and increasingly off-putting writing including quotes from The Silence of the Lambs. Pat in particular states that they're not sure at all if it's hate mail or some sort of bizarro stalker package.
- Their reactions when one of the gifts turns out to be a carton of Sekuma Magical Drops.
- The Best Friends' reactions must be seen to be believed when they get a limited edition Gurren Lagann box set, valued at over $500. Their reactions are even more hilarious when they find a second box set in another package.Woolie: It's a BOX that we can RECOGNIZE because we JUST saw this! *beat* WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!?
- Pat now seems to be attempting to make viewers and/or Liam as uncomfortable as possible by staring at the camera in silence for prolonged periods.
- Pat receives a very special gift from an unnamed fan. A rubber fist sex toy called Belladonna's Bitch Fist. The Zaibatsu then spend a decent chunk of time cackling over the various bullet points on the back, especially the one that dubs the fist "Romantic".
- One fan writes a letter asking Pat if he would marry her, followed by her asking Liam to be her mistress.
- One letter reads "Katie. Sincerely Jay." As the Best Friends wonder why someone would write that, Woolie opens a letter that reads "Jay. Sincerely, Katie."
- The Best Friends receive another weapon - this time a sword - which Pat is given. Putting the sword in it's sheathe, he promptly attempts to see if he can wear the blade hanging from his waist. It's almost touching the floor.
- In rapid succession, they receive two romantic rubber fists. They're able to tell the second one as soon as they touch it, unwrapping it while giggling. The next few minutes are them just laughing about it.
- The Best Friends find a wrapped, framed dickbutt in a gift they receive. The frame completely falls apart when Woolie tries to put it up, sending all four of them into a fit of laughter.
- The entirety of the "cold, hard facts" letter.
- The final gift they get for the video is a giant rainbow horse dildo. The box is opened with a cut◊ to each of the best friends in silence with shocked expressions as Woolie pulls it out, and the last few minutes have all of them playing with it while they comment on its size and laugh.
- Well, mostly shocked. When it cuts to Woolie, he's giving a "hell yes" reaction.
- And then there's Liam trying to hide a smile.
- Their respective reactions when managing to hold it for themselves is chuckleworthy. Never has 4 men playing with a horse dildo could be so amusing.
- When Pat manages to hold it for himself he plays with it by trying to hit Matt with it, while Matt is trying to block it with his Captain Ameriaca: The Winter Soldier Mini-Shield/Frisbee.
- Pat: (high-pitched) Oh my god, this feels so bad...
(Pat tries to swat it away.)Pat: No, my face! NOOO!!!
- Later Liam returns the favor and while Pat is under assault by the floppy horse dildo you can clearly hear the fear in his voice.Liam: Open up! Open up Pat!Matt: Noooo....
- The guys finally get a box full of dragon dildos from a recurring sender, but the sender said that they were going to be used. After pulling them out, it hastily cuts to Woolie holding them with grocery bags, terrified at the prospect that they might have actually been used, since they were out of the packaging.
- The very first rule ever set for the mailbag was a simple "no live animals." So of course this mailbag included a burlap bag filled with 1000 live ladybugs.
- A fan sends them some Finnish candy, which is infamous for having a very acquired taste. The guys ingest it and... well, the looks on their faces say enough, it gets to the point where Pat and Liam have to drink out of the same mug to get the taste out of their mouths.
- Woolie's Never Live It Down moment has become so widely known that if one were to type just his name into the search bar on youtube, the second suggestion (After his match with Daigo) isYouTube:woolie chooses mvc3 over sex. with two women. at the same time
- Matt and Pat bring it up again when they make a similar video for the Metal Gear Rising launch, except that Matt chose to get it on with the women, and still make it in time for the launch. At the end, Matt sees Woolie coming over to him, and he promptly disappears.
- Sadly, this no longer holds true. However, typing Woolie's name into the search bar now produces Woolie vs Reboot as the first result.
- Matt slowly and shamefully revealing just how much Predator merchandise he has purchased over the years.
- Adventure Time with Matt the Human: An entire video dedicated to Matt gloating about how he got the 3DS game before Pat.Matt:Did you know that Adventure Time is a show that Pat knows more about than me? That he's seen more episodes than me? And that he's the one who introduced me to it? But I'm the one who gets the game first. I guess that's because all gods hate him and love me instead.
- Pat stealing Matt's limited edition of Metal Gear Rising in the unboxing video.
- A fan made a Skyrim mod that adds Matt, Pat, and Woolie as a set of recruitable companions. The three even recorded special dialogue for the mod. Trailer here.
- Zubaz, the long running joke character removed from Street Fighter is not only making a comeback as a fighter in Divekick, he's returning as a goddamn giant mecha in Kaiju Combat and as a Bonus Boss in Shovel Knight.
- Posted on Facebook for Similarly Named Works hilarity, How To Wash The Woolie.
- Someone took that audio and remixed it to an animation.
- When Matt runs across Suda51 at E3, he hopes Suda will notice him today.
- The Two Best Friends Facebook page announced E3 videos with one of the features being Game Grumps. Fans immediately speculated how a crossover between the two would go, and what happened in the epic confrontation? Matt passes by Egoraptor in the hallway and they just offhandedly say "Hey" to each other, not even recognizing who each of them are.
- In the E3 videos, the Running Gag of people confusing Matt and Pat with the "Game Guys".
- Liam and Woolie...At E3! No wait. Just a Best Buy. Woolie takes off his hat and walks off, disappointed.
- Ladies and gentlemen, "Woolie The Liar Stole My Pie"
- In general, whenever the video cuts off and Green Greens starts playing. Apparently Matt and Pat chose to stick with the theme because of how jarring it can be, depending on which game they play.
- The Beyond: Two Souls playthrough includes various jokes based on Jojos Bizarre Adventure. A fan animated them accordingly.
- The preview video for Friendcast 40 showed Pat squeeing over a large dog. This lead to fan art of Pat and a giant dog, including Pat's face imposed on Nina Tucker◊ from Fullmetal Alchemist, leading to Chimera Pat◊
- During the Yo Videogames Boss Rush stream of Bio F.R.E.A.K.S. that the Best Friends dared Max to do, Pat, Matt, and Woolie all joined in and gave huge donations to the stream, simultaneously ensuring that Max would not end the stream without completing it and that they themselves couldn't leave. In the chat, Pat gives a hilarious summation of the whole affair.I dunno, I started to feel bad originally, when someone I noticed [sic] maybe an hour ago that they were doing it. Then I started watching, and felt less bad. Then Woolie and Matt start throwing money at it, so I gotta, I mean, we all need to enable this kind of absurd, self destructive behaviour. It's like throwing money at a 65 year old woman doing a striptease out in the cold. You really shouldn't, but man, she's going for it, and by god I won't go home without having enabled poor behaviour that I indirectly encouraged.
- The Hot Pepper Gaming guest reviews:
- The episode "Same Old Earth" of Steven Universe featured parts of Lapis Lazuli's backstory, and one moment showed her getting punched square in the back by a large Homeworld Gem with dreadlocks. The fan edits were almost immediate, and Woolie's response is a sight to behold.Woolie: LAPIS HAD IT COMING!
- As sad as it is that Matt is going on indefinite hiatus from the channel and Liam is leaving entirely (citing overtsresss and mental health concerns, respectively), the fact that both of these announcements came on the heels of the end of the Omikron: The Nomad Soul playthrough has led to a bit of gallows humor that the sheer shit quality of the game has torn the channel asunder.
- Comments in the first episode of "Friday Night Fisticuffs" after the announcement (which featured only Woolie and Pat) became humorously sad afterwards, with legions of fans saying of Liam "WHO WILL FORGET THE COOKIES NOW??"
- For the Yakuza 0 episode on Machinima, the timing of the video and Machinima's reputation led to the Machinima channel posting a comment in the video claiming they made no demands for the video that was posted and that it was made for the channel with terms agreed to by the best friends. Not a single reply comes from someone who believes it.
- Pat's story about how he "shat" himself.
- Late July 2018, the channel finally udpated their youtube icon, which previously only had Pat and Matt from when the channel was still just Two Best Friends Play. The "update" is literally just the exact same icon, only with a photo of Woolie inserted into the bottom corner.
- Matt's new series, Edgelords, a retrospective on edgy characters hosted by Matt as the gravelly voiced Ashen the Vioblader, taking his name and theme from the base-breaking ♯FE Playthrough. Matt doesn't break character once.
- Following an episode of DMC4 on the channel that had Woolie facing a particularly difficult secret mission, an immediate video response from youtuber Helix Snake was posted for the purpose of showing him an easier way to do things.
- Matt's newest solo LP on his side-channel is, of all things Nekopara Vol. 1.
- In a somewhat dark way: With the official disbanding of the Super Best Friends on December 16th, 2018, the final full lets-play ever completed on their shared channel was none other than the much-maligned DmC: Devil May Cry, while the final lets-play started on the channel was Star Trek: The Video Game. Many mourning fans in the comments of related videos are both amused and dismayed that the channel ended on such low notes.
- During Pat and Woolie's playthrough of Devil May Cry HD Collection, the pair deliberately avoided playing Devil May Cry 2, even going so far as to post a fake Part 1 in which they swap out to Devil May Cry 3 midway through the first mission. On December 29th, 2018, YouTube user Crowbcat uploaded an abridged playthrough/highlight reel of 2 under the title "real videogamers don't skip Devil May Cry 2", as a tongue-and-cheek way of both calling out the Best Friends and showcasing just how bad the game really is.
- These were published in late December, 2014. Matt, Pat and Woolie's videos are all captioned as Super On Time.
Pat's Top Ten of 2013
- October 18, 2013: Pat is sitting on his couch when he gets a call from Matt. He promises his top ten will be ready in a week, tops. Jump Cut to December 21, 2014. Pat yells "SHIT!" and leaps off the couch, obviously late.
Liam's Top Ten of 2013
- Liam ended his best of 2012 review by showing off Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and predicting it would be his #1 game of 2013. Turns out he likes The Wonderful 101 more. At the end of this video, he apologies for being incorrect and promises to never, never do that ever again - Smash Cut to Freedom Wars footage.
Super Best Friends Worst Top Ten of 2013
- Not only did Matt and Pat spend about twice as long shitting on Ride To Hell: Retribution as in the other segments, but it had this gem of a closer:Matt: I can literally not think of enough bad things to say about it. *beat* We might be doing a full LP.Pat: (from offscreen) FUCK THAT!!Matt: *winces in Pat's direction*
- Woolie grandly flopping his way onto the sofa during the "Most Disappointing" segment.
- Liam's final use of the phrase "you shouldn't criticize something for what it's not" when discussing Lightning Returns takes a hilarious twist:Liam: (gesturing towards the game) Like I said, you shouldn't judge a game on what it isn't, but FUCK! FUCK!!Woolie, Matt, And Pat: *collectively lose it*
- The explanation for Beyond: Two Souls on the "Worst of" list? Stunned Silence between Matt and Pat.
- The video was released on January 25th, 2016. Description reads "Super on time as always!"