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  • The handwritings on the toilet stall in the Tripping Barmaid. Someone simply wrote "RUDE WORD" there.
  • Liam staring fascinated at Milo licking a bit of spilled drink off his hand.
  • Milo's Stealth Insult to Chloe.
    Milo: That's a cute dress. And for such brisk weather! You're brave.
    Chloe: Th-thanks?
  • Chloe and Archie's totally awkward talk on their date.
    Archie: So... how do you feel about... bees...
    Chloe: ...bees? I — I love bees!
    • That line gets even more funny when Archie and Chloe meet again one and a half year after graduating school: Chloe has meanwhile started to work as a stripper, wearing a costume with black and yellow stripes, and calling herself "Honey Pot".
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  • Liam after he reminisces about the fairly obvious signs of Milo's crush on him:
    Liam: ... Why am I so slow?
  • Liam accidently murdering a stress toy octopus during his therapy session.
  • Noel and Liam discussing Milo's black eye, which Liam doesn't want to admit he gave him because Milo kissed him.
    Noel: What is so important that you felt you needed to fight him?
    Liam: *looks guilty and mildly horrified* He... started it?
    Noel: *gives him a Dope Slap* You are such a male.
  • Basically every time Kat and Penny appear. Kat for her neverending calm, Penny for her wicked smiles and devious manipulation skills.
    • Their imitation of Liam and Noel.
    • "Sounds like a case of the mopes. I know just the cure."
    • Golf on the rooftop.
  • Milo's smug grin when Liam admits he enjoyed the kiss Milo planted on him.
  • Liam telling Dick that the skeleton jacket Dick gave him made him a girls magnet on the Halloween party. Well, almost.
    Liam: Yeah, sorry. I was way too busy snogging to even celebrate — what holiday was it again?
    Dick: Aw, man!
    Milo: *silently laughs his ass off*
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  • Milo excels in the "Little Shop of Horrors" schoolplay as monster plant Audrey II.
  • Noel and Liam bickering about dating "commoners", or assholes. Noel comments Liam has not much room to talk in that department, but his answer makes even her laugh.
    Liam: *pretends indignation* Miss Laroque! Calling me a commoner!
  • When Liam brings up the possibility of sex, Milo quickly decides he better put his leg across his lap. Not that it helps much as Liam just glances down at his crotch the next moment.
  • Liam's first meeting with Dylan, who comments on the shirt Liam is wearing. Liam doesn't know rightaway who this might be, but then it slowly dawns on him.
  • Dylan telling he would have liked to be an embarassing father for Milo in his meeting with Milo's significant other by holding a hammy speech.
    Dylan: Then again, the lecture I had planned revolved mostly around the importance of contraception — so maybe we should skip it.
    Alt Text: *adding* "Just kidding. I scrapped that speech a long time ago when Milo told me he was going to marry Fred Astaire."
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  • Alfons telling Eli that he must let his son make own decisions because Liam is a man, not a boy anymore — while Liam stands right next to him making what a reader described as "a total Bambi face".
  • Alfons and Liam in a flashback to several years prior, Liam being about ten years old.
    Liam: *hiding from Alfons's sister Liesel* <Your sister is crazy.>
    Alfons: <I am aware.>
    Liam: <Why do you have a box of eyeballs in your closet?>
    *Alfons demonstrates taking out his Glass Eye*
    Liam: That's so cool!
  • The talk Milo has with his mother Nora after he comes out to her.
    Nora: You can't!
    Milo: Can't what? Be gay?
    Nora: Think of your future! Your career!
    Milo: Wait, which? My dance career? Or theatre?
    Nora: Is that what this is about? Is this my fault for putting you in dance?
  • Viola trying to hook Liam up with Milo, claiming he's single. Liam doesn't necessarily share this opinion.
  • Hebert and Milo at class, acting the shit out of a simple little gestural exercise.
    Drama Teacher: Try to dial it back down to normal human interaction, please.
  • Milo accidently sending a text along the lines "I'm not trying to hook up with you, I have a boyfriend" to his mom instead of Hebert, because he's sleep-deprived. His mother goes into near-hysterics.
  • "Maybe watch the signals you're sending." — the signal in question here being that Milo forgot to zip up his jeans.
  • Alfons telling Liam he can't cover up for him anymore around Eli. Not because he has conscience bites, mind you; he's just a horrendously Bad Liar.
  • The twins, Molly and Mina, who adamantly stick to calling Liam "Milo's boyfriend".
    • It's early in the morning at Dylan's house, and the awakeness of the individuals differs:
      Molly: *upbeat* Milo! When did you get here?
      Mina: *head meets tabletop, mumbles* Hi, Milo's boyfriend.
    • When meeting Liam again as they are being babysat by Milo:
      Mina: Oh! Milo's boyfriend! Dad let me read your story!
      Liam: Did he?
      Liam: Oh, yeah. All true.
      Molly: Are you two gonna snog now?
      Liam: Er — maybe?
    • The twins braiding Liam's hair when he's around to visit Milo. Liam is cool with it... until the girls get into a quarrel with their father and Milo and inadvertently start pulling his hair.
  • Alfons' Malaproper English: "Do not worry your face."
  • Milo's unabashed smugness.
  • Smalltown ironic puppet burlesque... have fun imagining that.
  • Liam and Alfons having precisely the same reaction upon meeting the huge, tattooed thug: "That's not a man. That is a bulldozer!"
  • Eli opens up to Liam about his hopes that, someday, Liam would graduate law school to work together with him, which Liam finds... less desirable.
    Liam: Aww, papa. That sounds... really... awful, though. Like... really bad.
    Eli: *exasperated* Oy.
  • Alfons has disappeared for a weekend, to go to a job interview nobody knew where it was at, has been brought to hospital with appendicitis, put to surgery at last moment, and a couple huge, shady guys informed his worried uncle and cousin about where Alfons is, setting them up for some Adult Fear. Alfons meanwhile has begun to flirt with his nurse.
  • Liam has just decided that next time he makes big decisions, he won't drop them in a big bomb on his father. Same afternoon he comes into his father's office:
    Liam: I'm moving in with my boyfriend.
    Eli: LIAM!
  • Eli tags along when Liam and Milo have a look at a potential flat. When he points out that there's only one bedroom, Liam gives him a deadpan look that, in utter silence, conveys the message: "Yes, papa. One bedroom. For me and my boyfriend. Sleeping together. Like people in relationships do."
    Eli: ... Right. Alright.
  • After an accident with paint, Liam is a bit wistful over the loss of most of his hair, but he seems to come to terms with it when getting to know the changed sensation of Milo caressing him as is his wont.
  • Alfons and Eli discussing Liam's new haircut... and then, when Liam has had enough of it and goes to his room, accusing the respective other of having been rude.
  • Eli's comment on how Liam reminds him a lot of his mother, Eli's late wife Riva. "It makes me understand her father more."
  • Milo wakes up in the middle of the night, Liam's not next to him, and a ghastly howling noise sounds through the flat. He gets a hammer as a weapon and sneaks down into the living room, tense and near in panic... to find Jojo, Liam's blind cat, furiously growling at the unfamiliar walls while Liam laughs his ass off about his cat's Eldritch Horror sounds.
  • Dylan tells Liam that he has to learn some French if he wants to keep working in his restaurant, unless he's to be trained for the kitchen. Liam notes that, meanwhile, he can cook an entirety of three different meals, including spaghetti.
  • Eli hiding away in his own house so he doesn't have to hang out around Alfons and the nurse Alf has started dating.
    • He also forbids Liam to smoke — while he's smoking himself.
      Liam: Fine, whatever. No need to patronise me.
      Eli: Patronise — I am your patron!
  • Archie complains that the group dragged him to a strip club during his stag party, noting he doesn't understand why this is such a thing anyway. Liam, checking out the very well-shaped butt of a scantily-clad lady walking by, replies completely deadpan: "I dunno, Arch... couldn't really tell you."
  • Dick completely misunderstanding Liam's wedding speech, thinking Liam was saying he was for years secretly in love with him (of course, Liam meant that he's been for years subconsciously in love with Milo). Following up his conclusion, Dick says "You know what, let's go for it!", marching up to confront Liam — only it's Viola he got, because he mixed them up by seeing her only from the backside (Viola wears a suit, not a dress, and her hairdo makes her look sorta similar to Liam).
  • After the wedding, Liam is so sleep-deprived that he falls asleep within a few minutes on the train, and once they have reached home, he answers mechanically "thanks" to everything Dylan says to him without really listening... or even opening his eyes.

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