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    Kilroy Was Here 
  • "Of course I hate Styx! I'm a music critic! It's part of the licensing exam."
    • "My brother likes Styx. Seen them in concert twice. Owns a lot of their T-Shirts... I've failed him."
  • Todd describes Dennis DeYoung's voice as "the death of music".
  • Everything about the laughably corny concert film for Kilroy Was Here, especially the supercut of Tommy Shaw's horrendous acting.
    "You can't stop the music, you bastards!"
  • The theme of "Mr. Roboto" is the dehumanizing aspect of technology. "You're a synthesizer band, you goddamn hypocrites!"
  • The blink-and-you'll-miss-it intercut of the Chuck E Cheese animatronic band playing over "Mr. Roboto".
  • Todd admits when reviewing albums for Trainwreckords that sometimes failure or backlash can only show itself during the follow-up. To illustrate this, he shows the opening weekend grosses for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and the massive drop-off when Justice League (2017) came out.
  • Todd's multiple riffs on the nine-minute intro film.
    Todd: Now, as a sci-fi buff, I can't help but notice the similarities between this album's premise and the fictional sci-fi universe created by ME in the eighth grade!
  • Regarding Jonathan Chance's solo in the Villain Song, "Heavy Metal Poisoning":
    Todd: (as Dr. Righteous) NOOO! He's playing rock and roll in my rock and roll song!
  • Todd as the angry arena audience: "Boo! Play 'More Than a Feeling' already!"
    • And this was after he described the typical Styx audience in arenas as "Angry rednecks, who just want to hear Blue Collar Man."

    The Funky Headhunter 
  • Introducing Hammer's change of image by slowing down his "Now why would I ever stop doing this..." line from "U Can't Touch This"
  • Todd "pretending" to be Ronald Johnson, the senior Senator from Wisconsin, saying it made about as much sense as Hammer pretending to be an O.G.
  • Any of the comments regarding MC Hammer's infamous Speedo in the original "Pumps and a Bump" video.
    Todd: Why, it's almost like I can touch this. ...Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em.
  • Todd can't help but mock Hammer's tough-guy pose in the "It's All Good" video.
  • Todd claiming that there isn't a more depressing rap beef than the one between Hammer and Q-Tip, complete with a genuinely disappointed tone of voice.
    Todd: This is like finding out that Carl Sagan and Mr. Rogers got in a fist fight.

    Be Here Now 

    Van Halen III 

    Mardi Gras 
  • "But they kept soldering on. They... kept on chooglin'..."
  • How does Todd describe how this album came to be (although he admits shortly after that it's not entirely true)? If, instead of breaking up after Let It Be, The Beatles decided to make one more album... and the others decided that this would only result in the band sticking together if Ringo did most of the work. And he had no say in it.
    • Although Todd admits Creedance Clearwater Revival's situation wasn't as bad as that Ringo hypothetical (since the situation was that they would all write songs for the album), Todd admits that in some respects, the situation was actually worse than that hypothetical:
      Todd: [P]eople liked Ringo! Ringo had a personality, people knew who he was. People didn't have a clue who the other guys in [Creedance Clearwater Revival] were! They barely knew the main guy in the band!
      • Todd immediately realizes that at least some people who would be watching this would know thatnote ; he counters that by asking them to name the others.
  • As part of his struggles with trying to understand the downfall of the band, Todd had to "buy books, and read them, and shit".
  • "[A]nd if the lead singer's not getting attention, you could imagine how little the fucking bass player gets."
  • Presenting the intra-band drama as a Jersey Shore fight with "Re-Enactment" titled over it.
  • This is Todd's breakdown of how the band described how the album came to be: At the time, Doug and Stu said that John needed their help because he was burnt out. Now?
    Todd!John: (complete with shaking picture) FINE! YOU WANT MORE INPUT?! WHY DON'T YOU WRITE THE SONGS?!
    • And here's how Fogerty describes it:
      Todd: (over a clip of Baby Herman crying) Waaaa! Waa, I wanna write songs! Waaaa!
  • After Todd realizes the opener for the album, "Lookin' for a Reason", is explicitly about the band breaking up:
    Todd: Because I Got High is more open to interpretation than this.
    Afroman: (while shown explicitly toking) Because I got high! Because I got high! Because I got high!'
    Todd: ...maybe it's about being high on life.
  • Todd's utter bafflement at how bad the non-John Fogerty members' contributions are. When Stu Cook's second song begins, Todd swiftly gives it a Rapid-Fire "No!" and shows similarly blunt rejections from America's Got Talent and The Gong Show.
    • This is then followed up by Todd's blunt realization that the song, "Take it Like a Friend", is just Stu "shit-talking John right to his face".
      • Todd also mentions that Fogerty was so offended he didn't even play guitar on the other guys' songs. "Kind of a dick move, but I wouldn't want to help record a song about what an asshole I am either."
  • Todd sees through Stu's third song's narrative of being a sailor, and dealing with the abrasive "captain".
    Todd: (cuts to picture of John with a poorly Photoshopped captain's hat; sarcastically) Who could he be talking about? (normally) Funny that this song is about sailors, 'cause Stu is incredibly salty.
  • As Todd realizes to his disgust, the cover song (specifically, a cover of Ricky Nelson's "Hello Mary Lou") is "the same fucking song". He even plays them back to back to make his point crystal clear.
  • At the end of the video, Todd gets the idea to force Amy to write his reviews from now on.
    Todd: You're not pulling your weight, dog! Why do I have to do all the work?! Give me a thousand words on the new Eminem album! This is what you wanted, right?! I heard you begging at me! That was clearly what you meant!

  • Since it is about an album by Billy Idol, Todd spends the entirety of the video wearing a spiky blond wig.
    Todd: Guess whose Halloween costume is tax-deductible this year?
    • Later in the video Todd comments on Idol's second change of hairstyle, to an awful-looking set of blond dreadlocks like Vanilla Ice was wearing circa 1993. Todd refused to buy a wig for that.
      Todd: Like, not even for Halloween.
  • "The '90s wouldn't start until September of '91 when, uhh..."
    Todd: Yes, it's time for yet another edition of "Nirvana Killed My Career"!
  • Todd on Idol's career options in the wake of the grunge era:
    Todd: [...] so after the alternative revolution took hold, Billy had two options: He could keep doing what he was doing, or he could adapt himself to the new ethos of rock music. [beat] He did neither.
  • On Idol's look in the "Shock to the System" video, which sees his spiky hair get even spikier:
    Todd: Why does he look like Gary Busey wearing a Bart Simpson wig all of a sudden?
    • Cut to the scene in the video where Billy stop-motion merges with a camcorder to form some ugly-looking cyborg thing. It gets the reaction it deserves:
  • Turns out the album had bonus features on a floppy disc that came with the album. When Todd gets a look at it...
    Todd: Oh man, check out those Sega Genesis graphics. I wanna play, like, NBA Jam or Mortal Kombat now.
    Dan Forden: TOASTY!!!
  • "But the album has one major thing in common with Kurt Cobain. For both of them, it all went wrong... with 'Heroin'."
  • When Todd plays Idol's Cover Version of Velvet Underground's "Heroin", he discovers that it both A) Comically Misses the Point of the original by turning the originally bleak and moody song into one with dance club beats, and B) It's also a mashup with Patti Smith's "Gloria"; so Todd slips in a clip of "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" to mock both things.
    Todd: We're at a rave... A heroin rave!
    • Todd giving us this delightful mental image:
    Todd: Turning a Velvet Underground song into this, is like taking Blade Runner and letting Michael Bay remake it.

    MTV Unplugged No. 2. 0 (Lauryn Hill) 
  • When bringing up a recent incident where Lauryn received massive backlash for having showed up two hours late to a performance, Todd admits to being heartbroken and dismayed over the fact that people are still buying tickets for her shows.
  • Todd states up top he's never been a fan of MTV Unplugged, finding an all-acoustic format tedious and also pretentious to consider it more "real" than a fully produced performance. He suspects the public came around to his side when Korn (of all bands) tried to do an unplugged concert. He then shows a clip of the performance, which shows that it went about as well as one can expect a Nu Metal band attempting an acoustic performance to go.
    Todd: What the fuck. Not an experiment to be repeated.
  • On the subject of the song "Mr. Intentional":
    Todd: "Mr. Intentional" is about some unnamed condescending asshole...
    Caption: It's definitely Wyclef Jean
    • Captions come back later during a 12-minute monologue, which Todd describes as "Lauryn Hill TED Talks." Over shots of the audience with blank expressions on:
      "...Where are the exits"
      "...please god invent the smartphone soon"
  • On Lauryn's guitar skills:
    Todd: I honestly don't know if she could play "Wonderwall"
  • On the song "I Find It Hard To Say (Rebel)", which led to the special not being aired until months after 9/11, because Lauryn was afraid of causing rioting:
    Todd: Yeah, don't worry Lauryn, this isn't going to make anyone start throwing bricks. It's going to make people get their latte somewhere else.
  • Todd's takedown of Lauryn's "reality" running theme surrounding this show:
    Lauryn: I used to be a performer, and I really don't consider myself a performer so much anymore.
    Todd: Then what the hell am I watching, lady?!
  • This exchange:
    Lauryn: Y'all never knew me! I just wanted to introduce you to me — I'm just getting to know me!
    Todd: (sigh) M'am, this is an Arby's.

    American Life 
  • Todd sums up the album's description, Madonna doing a Concept Album taking on The War on Terror, thus:
  • Todd's critique of the title track's replacement video, which removed the shock of the original (a military-themed fashion show) and has Madonna just standing in front of flags from random countries green-screened behind her.
    Todd: Take that Estonia, Norway, Pakistan, and Monaco! Micronesia had it coming!
  • Todd throwing shade during the "American Life Rap".
  • His reaction to the third single, "I'm So Stupid":
    Todd: Speaking of things that sound like garbage...note 
  • Todd scoffing at Madonna's rejection of Hollywood, saying that given the time the album was made, it comes off more as sour grapes after her film career definitively bombed with Swept Away.
  • "Hollywood" has an odd ending where Madonna starts chanting "push the button, don't push the button, trip the station, change the channel" - cut to Bela Lugosi shouting "Pull the string!" from Glen or Glenda.
    • The "Hollywood" single serves as a bit of a Brick Joke, because Todd used it as the theme song for his Cinemadonna series (at least, the version from a GAP commercial remixed to sound like "Into the Groove"). He reveals it's the only Madonna song to not chart at all in the United States, no matter how hard she tried to promote it. Considering it highlights her bitterness over her film career ending, the irony is just delicious.

  • This review is one where Todd actually doesn't have as much in the way of snark or jokes note . Todd treats the colossal failure of Paula as a fairly-somber affair, even having the occasional Sympathy for the Devil (after all, Robin Thicke's material pre-"Blurred Lines", and even some of the material of this very album, made Todd realize Thicke wasn't untalented), while never losing sight of how Thicke basically brought it on himself, as the album is basically a very public show of Thicke being Not Good with Rejection. But then again, moments like the very first line of the review makes you know that you're in for something... special.
    Todd: He just... seemed like a douchebag.
    [cue the opening bars of "Blurred Lines"]
    • Even the "This is Trainwreckords" introduction seemingly comes out of nowhere, preceded by Todd throwing up his hands.
  • On said colossal failure of the album note :
    Todd: We've seen big names fail to debut at #1 and throw public fits about their low numbers, but if they had seen sales as low as Paula's, they'd melt like the Wicked Witch.
  • There's a subtly funny beat in the story of the night Robin met Paula — He serenaded her with a Stevie Wonder song. It sounds so romantic, like being a crooner was his destiny. Except...
    Todd: You can't go wrong by singing Stevie.
    [shows Wonder singing "Jungle Fever"]
    Todd: ... Except that one. Please tell me he didn't sing that one. [shows an article saying exactly that] Please tell me that's not true.
  • Despite being a Trainwreckord through and through, Todd concedes that there are songs on the album that work—particularly "Living in New York City", a funk-throwback number that Todd sheepishly (and hilariously) admits "kinda slaps".
  • There is one Hilarious in Hindsight moment where Todd cuts to an old review of his.
    Todd: Believe it or not, he wasn't always known as a douchebag. Rolling Stone called him "gentlemanly." [cut to the quote in question with "!?!!!" added next to it]
  • There's a clip of Thicke performing "Forever Love" at the BET Awards, and he at one point makes a big, emotional, dramatic pause (which Todd immediately calls out as contrived). What Todd doesn't draw attention to is that, if you listen closely to that clip, you can hear people in the audience laughing at him. (One audience member can even be heard scoffing "Please!", while another groans out an disbelieving "Oh my god.")
    • What Todd does draw attention to is how, during Thicke's appearance at the Billboard Music Awards, where the album's lead single "Get Her Back" first debuted, and where Thicke straght-up says to the audience "Help me get her back" several times, there's a woman in the front row with a Disapproving Look.
      Todd: Shout-out to the uncomfortable-looking woman at the front row, she speaks for us all.
  • On the uptempo, seemingly-out-of-place track "Tippy Toes"
    Todd: If this album were a musical, this would be the "Shipoopi".
  • Some times it is the small things. Todd can't help but chuckle at an Accidental Pun.
    Todd: I'm sure that in the thick of it — Heh heh, in the Thicke of it — I'm sure that in the thick of it...


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