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Funny / 3 Slytherin Marauders

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  • Chapter 65, "Draco's Oscar Winning Performance".
    Lucius: [to Ministry workers, about Draco, who is ranting at the top of his voice] He just wants to see that his guardianship hasn't changed and make sure Narcissa hasn't filed any custody papers.
    Draco: Theo said she'd try to get me - she wants my vault! Blaise has been gloating all week that she'll not let me go to Hogwarts!! - he says she'll have me in Beauxbatons wearing a SKIRT!!
    Lucius: Now you're just being ridiculous, Draco. She can't do that.
    Arthur met them at the floos, wiping tears of laughter off his face, and complemented a grinning Draco on his ploy.
    Arthur: Well done, Draco, well done.
    Lucius muttered that St. Mungo's closed ward was likely to be contacting him to see if he required their services, but Draco and Arthur just laughed harder.
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  • Chapter 75, Tom's sorting:
    Sorting Hat: I can see you learned quite well all the cunning you could ever need during your last stay in Slytherin.
    Tom Riddle: What are you doing, Hat?
    Sorting Hat: You already show commendable loyalty and you certainly strive toward academic achievements without needing any urging. And while you have plenty of courage... you might benefit from learning that being straightfoward in some dealings isn't all bad.
    Tom Riddle: No!
    Sorting Hat: Gryffindor!
  • And Chapter 92, "The Battle of Spinner's End".
  • While on holiday in Egypt, Harry and two others borrow a flying carpet and take it for a flight. Then they crash it into a swimming pool.
  • Remus annoys Harry when they first meet. Afterwards, Albus pays Snape and co. a visit.
    Albus: What do you wish to do about Remus?
    Tom immediately thought of a nice wolf-skin rug. Lucius mused over several deserted islands Remus could be left on, wandless of course. Petunia thought darkly about revisiting several pranks that had been done to herself and Vernon. Severus wondered if he could obliviate Harry from Remus's mind.
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  • Sirius Black, Daedalus Diggle and Mundungas Fletcher go on holiday in the Caribbean... and run afoul of the law. Repeatedly. Among other things, Sirius goes water-skiing without a boat and the three of them go treasure hunting while drunk. It goes as well as you might expect.


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