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Funny / This Present Darkness

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Despite being an incredibly dark fanfic, there are plenty of hilarious moments.

  • Gimli takes it upon himself to drive the soldiers assigned to guard him to despair. It's noted that Lothíriel arrived at Minas Tirith with a retinue of bodyguards, who promptly took up guarding her "with the smug certainty of men who know that the performance of their duty means that they will be kept as far from Lord Gimli as possible".
    • One of the ways Gimli irritates his guards is by smoking near them and blowing the smoke at them. Breglaf, Éowyn's guard, reflects that "Éowyn might breathe fire, but at least she never breathed smoke".
  • Gimli's despair at learning the healers cut off his beard so they could treat his stab wound.
  • Legolas's brothers have an impromptu juggling competition with some Gondorian jugglers.
    Tatharin: Shall we?
    Farothlin: Oh, I think we shall.
    Thranduil: Do not do anything foolish.
    Thranduil: Hmph. Just do not frighten the mortals, that is all I ask.
    • While his brothers are juggling, Sídhan doesn't join in and is described as "trying to maintain the dignity of the House of Oropher in the face of all odds".
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    • Aragorn reveals that once he found Legolas juggling "three [pinecones] plus most of our camp utensils and crockery".
  • Gimli announces his intention to go to Valinor with Legolas, whether the Valar let him or not.
    Gimli: Let [the Valar] see the trouble you are and they'll be begging me to take over!
  • After Legolas recovers, he drags Gimli out into the snow.
    Wood-elves, Gimli decided, had been created by Eru just in case the universe ever got too predictable. Either that or else Legolas had finally taken leave of his wits entirely.
  • Legolas insists Gimli go inside before he gets a cold.
    Legolas: ...I have camped with you when you had a head cold. If I seek to take you to shelter and warmth now you may rest assured that it is not for your sake but for the sake of every other person who might be hoping to get some sleep in the citadel tonight.
    Gimli: Are you saying that I snore?
    Legolas: No, elvellon. I am saying that [...] when you are fully healthy, you snore. What you do when you have a cold is beyond my ability to describe. Before meeting you the only previous experience I had with such a sound was when Smaug was still resident in the Lonely Mountain.


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