Kvothe's song parodying Ambrose Jakis, affectionately titled "Jackass, Jackass".
Almost everything that comes out of Elodin's mouth:
During Kvothe's hearing to discipline him for writing "Jackass, Jackass" to insult Ambrose, Elodin undermines the Chancellor's admonishments for Kvothe's inappropriate behavior by humming the song the entire time. And then actually singing the lyrics as Ambrose starts to leave the room.
Elodin's admission questions.
And then when Kvothe's ordered to post a letter of apology to Ambrose, he does. In fact, he posts a hundred copies of the letter (using an extremely difficult to remove adhesive), all apologizing profusely for the song, which it reproduces in full with two new extra-bawdy verses and annotation, so that everyone can understand in detail the insulting references to Ambrose.
Kvothe buys what he thinks is a perfectly black horse, which he names using a word he thinks means "First Night" or "Twilight". Hearing the name, the man he buys the horse from becomes oddly eager to sell. Later, when he goes to sell the horse off, he discovers that the owner dyed one of the horse's legs to drive up the price, the name Kvothe chose actually means "One-Sock" (his language skills were rusty), and the man he bought it from was convinced his chicanery had been discovered.
When Kvothe is at a loss for ideas from trying to figure out how to kill a very large out-of-control cow-lizard, Denna, completely giddy from the drug she ingested prior,suggests luring it over a steep cliff. After Kvothe complains how it wasn't very "heroic", Denna states she left her armor and warhorse at home.
Extra points for the Fridge Logic the last sentence produces.
"Master Kvothe, I am trying to wake your sleeping mind to the subtle language the world is whispering. I am trying to seduce you into understanding. I am trying to teach you. Quit grabbing at my tits."
Getting himself and Kvothe trapped on the roof of the building, in the middle of a storm. Completely naked. The key was in his pants, you see.
The name of Elodin's class: Introduction to Not Being a Stupid Jackass. Before that, Elodin told him it was "The Name of the class."
Very possibly a shout-out to the jackass song in Book 1.
Elodin and Kvothe are on the roof, and Elodin decides to walk over and knock on Lorren's window for a word. Lorren does not seem to find this particularly odd. Hell, Elodin could probably do almost anything and the other masters wouldn't blink an eye. It's just how crazy he is. (Although, in fairness, this is Lorren we're talking about.). The word in question? Getting Kvothe back into the Archives by making a deal with Lorren that if Kvothe is caught messing around again, Lorren can cut off Kvothe's thumbs.
"What the hell?" I demanded, wringing my hands. "I... What the hell?" Elodin looked at me, puzzled. "What? You're in. Problem solved." "You can't offer to let him cut off my thumbs!" I said. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you planning on breaking the rules again?" he asked pointedly. "Wh— no. But..." "Then you don't have anything to worry about," he said. He turned and continued up the slope of the roof. "Probably."
Tricking Kvothe into helping him trash Master Hemme's room.
"Master Elodin, why don't you want to teach me naming?" "That's the wrong question. Try again." "Why are you burning your clothes?" "Nope. Not even close to the right question." "Whose rooms are these?" And afterwards, "I live here, what's your excuse?"
The class where he tried to show them something by chasing around a bunch of flower seeds in the air. He chases them around for about 10 minutes, trips and injures his knee, starts a stream of cursing (in eight languages) so vile that it actually makes Kvothe a little sick, inhales a seed and nearly chokes, then just quietly limps out of the room. The best part is Kvothe's closing comment about the whole scene:
In general, not only are most of Elodin's classes pretty funny, but what's particularly hilarious is Kvothe waiting around for Elodin to hand him the secrets to Naming on a silver platter and not understanding that every single lesson is actually full of meaning if he'd bother to work hard for once.
"Good job, Ambrose. You caught him. He stole your fire." Said to Ambrose by Wilem after Kvothe saves some of Ambrose's things from a fire... that he started.
One of the people in the street adds, "Yeah, make him put it back!"
Also most Siaru idioms/cusses: "Shit in God's beard!" and "Don't put a spoon in your eye over it."
Tempi gets one, himself: "Why is the Maer looking at hairy balls?"
Apparently an invoked CMOF, as Tempi's strongly implied to have been intentionally playing the Funny Foreigner in order to ease the mercenaries' tensions. Also counts as a CMOH.
The Adem view on fatherhood. Namely, it doesn't exist because men don't impact reproduction.
An Adem tells Kvothe some of their rumors about outsiders, one being that they drink their own urine. Kvothe, completely serious, asks if it means they don't, leaving her completely shocked... until he starts laughing.
Also, Adem have a very relaxed view of sexuality. Kvothe discovers it first when he gets a bit too Distracted by the Sexy during his lessons and the teacher asks if them having sex would help. He's taken aback for a while.
Kvothe under the effects of Ambrose's plum bob.
Sim: Which is worse, stealing a pie or killing Ambrose? Kvothe: A meat pie, or a fruit pie? Sim: Do you know what would happen if you tried to knife Ambrose? Kvothe: There'd be a trial, I suppose... and people would buy me drinks.
The entire sequence is hilarious. "Sim was as patient as a priest, explaining to me that, no, I shouldn't go buy us a bottle of brand; no, I shouldn't go kick that dog barking across the street..."
Also, Simmon and Kvothe decide that, since the latter can't understand what's a good idea and what isn't, that the former should classify the bad ones on a scale from 1 to 10. When Kvothe talks about killing Ambrose, Simmon immediately classifies it as a 10... then lowers it to 8. Then to 7.
One of the funniest parts of the sequence was right at the beginning, where Sim, trying to illustrate to Kvothe that his judgement is impaired, asks him to try and think of anything that would be a bad idea. After several moments of strained thought, Kvothe cautiously suggests "jumping off the roof". Which is hilarious when you remember that he's done precisely that while stone-cold sober.
"And the boy's ass fell off." Best ending ever. Totally deadpan.
Fridge Logic So what happened at the end? The king screwed the boy's arse off.
Tempi being the only one who thinks the joke's funny. "His ass off."
Well, there's a phrase "Don't seek (mis)adventures on your ass".
Kvothe gets himself stuck beside a tree while an audience watches him. In a fit of anxiety, he's made aware of a certain call of nature.
Thus it was that in the center of a storm of knives, in the midst of my test that was also my trial, that I thought of urinating up against the side of the sacred sword tree while two dozen proud and deadly mercenaries watched me do it. It was such a horrifying and inappropriate thought that I burst out laughing. [...] Whatever choice I made, it would have to be better than pissing on the Latantha.
And then there's the "It's all energy" thing from Sim in WMF, compounded by Denna at the end of the scene.
Most of the bonfire scene (the one before they get Denna's ring back).
Kvothe's spur-of-the-moment recreation of the poor Chronicler as a (rather badass-sounding, actually) mythic folk hero on an epic quest that will give local storytellers throughout the region material to create an entire ream of stories, much as they've done with Kvothe himself. Bast jumping in to help only makes it better.
Fridge Brilliance: He's The Chronicler, he became famous in scholarly circles by writing down local legends and it is one of his goals to "collect all the stories, get to the truth at the end of rumors and similar". Kvothe just created him extra work. The situation is comparable to somebody walking over the floor you just cleaned in muddy boots, while you are still cleaning.
When Kvothe returns to the University after his adventures in Vintas, he goes through admissions without having to worry about tuition because of Alveron's credit. Not having to be on his best manners, his inner smartass goes wild.
Hemme: Well well... I heard you were dead. Kvothe: I heard you wore a red lace corset. But I don't believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about. Narration: Some shouting followed, and I was quickly brought up on charges of Improper Address of a Master. I was sentenced to compose a letter of apology and fined a single silver talent. Money well spent.
Alternative Title(s):The Name Of The Wind, The Wise Mans Fear
