Funny / The Walking Dead: Real Monsters

The Walking Dead: Real Monsters has it's funny moments every now and again.

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• “I won’t let Charles ripping your balls off forever time.”
• Nate's inability to pronounce Japanese words properly.
  • Annie May
  • Ah nah tah wah bawkaw desk
• When Nate asks the zombie in the first chapter if it wants to go to the police, it responds with shrieking at him in a very ridiculous manner.
• Nate: Charles, I need to borrow your ass stabber.
  Charlie: No. Eat a dick.
• Not only is this exchange funny, it also has some rather interesting implications.
  Nate: What? I’d crash into a house for free blowjobs.
  Charlie: Of course ya would, that’s the only way you’d get one.
  Nate: Oh really?
  Charlie: Really. Cuz your dick’s like Play-Doh; fun to play with, not to eat.
  LATER
  Nate: When this shit blows over, I’ll buy all the cigarettes ya want.
  Charlie: Really?
  Nate: Sure. I’ll do it all for the low low price of a free blowjob.
• Charlie constantly referring to Vaughan as Nate's boyfriend.
  • Even funnier when you realize she's half-right, and they both know it, but Nate is still too proud to admit it.
  • Becomes Harsher in Hindsight when the flashback sequences come around, and we find the source of his "pride." Not to mention the effect it ends up having on his relationship with Vaughan.
• Nate's interactions with the baby are sometimes funny.
• The notifications for the baby.
  (?) The baby thinks you’re a food dispenser
  (?) The baby likes Charlie’s hair
  (?) The baby likes the sound of your voice
  (?) The baby wants Vaughan’s glasses
• After Nate lies about the reason they need to go to the hospital, the passage that follows is golden.
  “Two things.” She said. “One, you’re not fifty. You don’t need that. And two, I highly doubt your hand is going to care that you can’t keep it up.”
  “Your hand might.” Nate said. Charlie’s unimpressed eyes traveled from his face to his crotch and back to his face again.
  “You say that like I can hold onto it.” She said.
  “I know. It’s too big.” Nate’s matter-of-fact response came with a smile.
  “Too big?” Charlie looked amused and surprised. “In what, white people standards?” She deepened her voice and spoke like she lost fifty IQ points. “Oh boy, my dick’s a whole inch long!”
  “Your dick’s an inch long? No wonder I haven’t seen it.”
  “Yours isn’t big. Don’t bullshit.”
  “You change your tune real quick. When we were all at it last night, you were like-” Nate let go of the wheel, took two fingers, and shoved it as far back into his mouth as he could without gagging. “Mmmph mmph mmmmmmmph!”
• Nate telling Vaughan that he's as peaceful as Gandhi’s and Martin Luther King Jr.’s gay love child.
• When Vaughan offers his hand so Nate can get out of the fountain water, Nate high-fives him instead.
  (?) Vaughan is annoyed with you
• Both Nate and the text makes fun of Sissy's name.
  • Sissy Boner.
  • Pissy Bonbon.
• Nate: Why don’t you do it?
  Sissy: I’m shy.
  Nate: You talked to me after seein’ me beat up two people!
  Sissy: …I’m shy.
  Nate: You’re also a little shit.
• Almost every scene with Jude in it could be on this page.
• In chapter 5, Nate and Charlie have a very nsfw conversation about Dr. Nāgá just to piss off the doctors on the outside of the barricaded room. The banter is hilarious.
  (?) The doctors think you’re an asshole
• “We’re going to die in this room.” This is Charlie's deadpanned reaction when she realizes that they're going to have to rely on Jude to get them out of the room they were barricaded in.
• Nate: ...I can’t remember ever seeing you cry before today.
  Charlie: I will stab you in the kidneys.