You're in a DND campaign with a lot of members of Team Four Star as part of the cast. This is a given.
- Outside of the game itself, there's Taka's inability to deal with the generous bit drops they receive and frantic attempts to read all of them.Lani: Keep dancing, monkey!
Monty: Lani, Curtis is dead. Does that mean I get to be the new takahata101?
- Taken to the extreme in the S-Series one-off when Pr0bait drops seven thousand dollars on them and Taka is stunned into silence.
Lani: Yes. Well, technically you're taka102.
- Borky's ritual morning yell, which usually earns at least one NPC yelling for him to shut up or being terrified.
- The guys finally pay Willow to install sound dampening crystals in their room, so none of them are bothered by it. Borky responds by knocking on Task's door and waiting for him to open before going with the final yell.
- The idea eventually emerges that whenever Greckles has a particularly derpy moment or gets spooked, his head becomes a photo-realistic bird head.
- Their "We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties" screen is Tarusk happily chewing on a cable wrapped around his body.
- Ted the Goblin, who Panic psychologically destroys with a Vicious Mockery.
- Gripples, Borky's creepy penguin idol he named after Greckles' nipples.
- During the first night at their new home, Borky (after warning things were going to get weird) cuddled up to Gripples at which point Zito whispered "Kill them all". Monty immediately made this canon by having Gripples' eyes glow red... and Borky was absolutely oblivious.
- Over time Borky starts treating Gripples as a god, even offering him as an alternative when it appears all gods have abandoned the party.
- The encounter with Ozzy the wizard, whose pet hedgehog Borky tries to steal. Panic needs to defuse the action... with a critical Charisma check, causing Ozzy to fall in love with him.
- The gang gets an orc bartender, a female known as Helga. Borky is not impressed with her, but it's not for the reason you think...Borky: (in response to Solly saying that Helga's a good thing since she and him are orcs) No, it's just that...she's just so goddamn ugly. (everyone else goes into hysterics.)
- Monty assures everyone that Helga is really quite attractive, which Taka acknowledges. It's all Borky.
- It bears mentioning that Helga is a retired adventurer who can quite literally demolish Borky in one turn of combat. He is inordinately lucky that Helga keeps failing her perception checks every time he talks trash about her.
- Abacus is entirely deadpan and the guys love to pick at her to get a rise, which usually means her casting a spell on them to get rid of them.
- During their first meeting she polymorphs Borky into a turtle, which Taka indicates with a high pitched squeak. He has to make this sound for a while as he fails saving roll after saving roll.
- On returning from a mission they discover it's Abacus's birthday and end their meeting by breaking into the birthday song. On the final chorus she casts a compulsion spell that makes Borky, Task, and Greckles walk out of the office. Panic resisted the spell but follows... only to stop at the door and sing back "And many more~" before shutting it.
- Borky casually mentioned that he finds skeletons terrifying. While visiting the Underbelly for the first time they run into a group of skeletons and Taka has to make a Wisdom saving throw. His terrified scream can be heard on the surface.
- An animated carpet steals the Scary Acid Dagger of Stab when Greckles fumbles it. Cue fanart of Carpet from Aladdin wielding a dagger and flipping off the party.Borky: It's got a knife!
- When Borky gets a Crit 20 and max damage plus his rage damage bonus to use his Lightining Javelin on a spider, Monty narrates a short and hilarious scene of Abacus back in Alivast doing some paperwork only to hear a small 'BAP!' sound and look out her window to see a small mushroom cloud going off in the distance.
- The entirety of the Dog Zone mini-arc is gold.
- Panic falls asleep during his round of watch, so he misses their transformation. He immediately blames Greckles and adamantly refuses to admit he dozed off.
- There's also how even Monty keeps her voice as she informs the party they're now dogs. Not even a hint of a smile.
- With Task becoming a chihuahua, everyone immediately starts making the Ren & Stimpy comparisons.
- Their adversary is Pug, a magical pug. He's wall-eyed, ugly, and an obvious Cloudcuckoolander. While defeated, his vacant, vaguely pompous voice lives on.
- To end the Dog Zone, the party must defeat the three Trials of Dog: An air elemental (scary fans/vacuum cleaners), two Displacer Beasts (cats, of course), and the Final Question ("Who's a good boy?").
- And of course there's Pug's completely underwhelming defeat, ending with him exploding like a pinata.
- The night before the dog transformation, Panic plays a song to the rock he was sitting on while taking watch. It turned out to be a Galeb Duhr and gave him a smile and thumbs up. Panic ends up cuddling with it while he sleeps.
- Panic recounts this meeting to Ozzy at a later date and reveals he named it Dwayne. Ozzy is absolutely baffled.
- Panic falls asleep during his round of watch, so he misses their transformation. He immediately blames Greckles and adamantly refuses to admit he dozed off.
- Riding high on their victory over the flumph abomination, Panic proceeds to mock Stillhavity to his face before flipping him the double bird. When they realize they're still trapped in the realm with said entity, Borky starts yelling for him to take it back, but Panic's too hyped and proud to do so.
- The next episode starts with Monty making special note of what Panic did and how it was a Not Good Idea.
- And how does the party escape Stillhavity's grasp? By every member of the party unleashing an epic burn on him. Except for Borky who just said he wasn't orc-y.
- Gergory, the overly-pretty male gryphon rider whose sole method of communication is varying tones of "Uuuuhn". His gryphon gets a cockatiel's crest and a pootoo's bulging eyes.
- Balfor Balton's reaction to seeing Panic's wounds from the Fire Giants's previously unknown weapon.Balfor: (laughing and pointing at Panic) You got stabbed!(the guys burst into laughter)Taka: It's li- it's li- it's like Don Rickles is the commander of the military!
- After arriving at the Alivast war camp, Borky is tired and decides to go to sleep lying down on a mess table. Monty then mentions they have cots, but Borky's already asleep so he doesn't get the choice.
- Later Borky chooses to drag the table across the camp for about three minutes to put it next to his cot and sleep on it. And he steals Panic's blanket.
- The guys encounter a trio of ten foot tall chickens. They treat them like massively dangerous creatures on the first encounter. On the second encounter, Task mounts one and rides it by using their magic cabbage on a stick. And then Borky gets a nat 1 Intimidate on one chicken, starting an encounter with a massive flock of giant chickens.Taka: Chicken Arc is not my favorite, I'll be honest with you guys.
Bosco: We're gonna fight chickens?
Zito: This is how you die, Remy. This is how you die.
Bosco: Why is the bird being killed by other birds!? This is just horrible and not okay.
Monty: You have Cabbage-Chicken-Advantage right now.
- Taka decides that he just backhand smacked the chicken in the face and considers it could be the best or worst thing he's ever done.
- Zito points out that Task, who is terrified of large birds, is now mounted on an "irked" giant chicken while a flock descends upon them.
- Right after their encounter with the chickens, the group encounters a group of Goblin traders who offer the group a clutch of giant chicken eggs. Taka immediately makes a concerted effort to purchase some, citing that if the Sweet Dragon can not only get on the Alivast Pub Crawl, but also on the Alivast Brunch Crawl, they'll be raking in the cash.
- Borky suplexing Grandma.
- Remy tries to deliver Balfor's letter to Aila while she's meeting with Brorc. She insists Remy read it to her out loud. What follows is the single most incredible and infamous page of flowery love literature ever made, to Remy and Brorc's continued dismay.Remy: (under his breath to Brorc) I'm sorry.
Brorc: (under his breath to Remy) I want to die.
- Even better, Solly is there and EXTREMELY uncomfortable. She steps away from Brorc when the letter mentions how much Balfor just thinks the orc paladin needs to get laid.
- The letter ends with seven post-signatures, including Balfor's declaration that he would punch out a dragon made of bees for Aila.
- Even better, Aila never changes her expression or intonation during this horrendous rambling letter, even as Remy and Brorc are steadily losing their composure.
- While the Party was off fighting Stillhavity, they left their drake Tarusk in the care of Willow. When they come back to retrieve him, he has put on a massive amount of weight, has a pretty bow around his neck, and his face is smeared with cupcake icing.
- The party gets a free trip to the spa. It gets off to a great start when they meet their masseuses: An elf woman, human woman, tabaxi woman, and a giant steel construct covered with spikes. The guys have to roll initiative to see who ends up with Fister Roboto.
Monty: A very gentle masseuse jackhammer.
- The "winner" is Panic, who was too busy luxuriating in what was coming to notice. He's actually okay with her, especially her actual name: The Straightforward Good Time.
Snake: Are the room numbers 69 and 34?
- After the spa treatment, Greckles and Panic decide to take advantage of the other facilities. The two try to one-up each other on how many escorts they'll get and decide to let the matron choose for them. During the following intermission, Monty can be heard quietly chuckling as she rolls against her list of possible escorts.
Monty: I don't know?
Snake: Now they are.
- Tiengo nails dead animals to the door of the Sweet Dragon, marking Task and Greckles for death. Then they realize he has access to shapeshifting hats and could be anybody as a result. Cue everything they meet being Tiengo in disguise, including deer, crabs, and bears.
- The guys encounter a wererat which lunges... and critically fails. Borky suplexes it.Monty: Task, you see a bunch of stupid bullshit.
- Panic is challenged to a drinking game by their dwarf foreman. He immediately plans to cheat, having learned nothing from Lys's vision quest. Borky calls him on it, with Taka imagining Lys would use the last of his divine energy to resurrect and slap Panic.
- Taka has Borky take the roof for the watch, to the confusion of the others as he's a melee fighter. He points out he does have a weapon, which Zito immediately decides is Borky throwing Tarusk. Taka agrees, and then worries he'll kill Panic with that too.
- When the group first encounters Taylor...a Pigeonmancer.Zito: Oh my god. The wiki is being exploded as we speak, right now.
Gripples: More followers...
- Borky adopts a twenty-pound pigeon named Tubbs; it sounds like a waterbed when moving and may not have any bones. Borky tells Gripples he has a brother.
Borky: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Willow: What is with Mr. Borky and weird bird related things?
- Pretty much every NPC reacts with horror on seeing Tubbs.
Panic: I don't fucking know.
- The party tries to use Knowledge: Nature on a white deer that was observing them. The first three get a flat "It's a deer" for their rolls. Borky gets a 3 and thinks it's a weird dog. He later reassures a weirded-out Task that the giraffe they encounter is a tall dog.
- The guys convince Grinelda to not arrest Helena with a group puppy dog-eye moment.
- Walking along a beach they run into a crab with a knife. And it's a shell-cracking knife; it wants revenge.Zito: Shit, the crab's Tiengo, guys.
- Borky rolled a natural 1 on the crab and came to the conclusion it had killed its fellow crabs and buried them. He spends the entire "encounter" digging a massive hole until it flooded on him.
- Immediately after the crab leaves, Monty gets up to turn on her heater and trips, cursing loudly over the mic. Chat declares the crab got her.
- The guys have an encounter with a Northlander druid in the form of an octopus. They try to deescalate but Panic finally loses patience after being grabbed twice and attacks her. Afterward they encounter the men of the household who start laughing at the mention of an "octopus".Northlander: [laughing] Oh, she got you?
Panic: [resigned chuckle] Yeah, I got her too.
Northlander: [dead serious] You did- you did- you did what to my mother? My grandmother?
- Panic ends up apologizing a lot to the grandmother. She accepts and heals him... after smacking him in the gut with her staff.
- Fighting a group of goblins, Panic tells one of them to give a message to Ted in hell. Said goblin breaks down as he knew Ted growing up.
- Task has to fight a bear solo, in melee, with a dagger.Halfden: He seems so nervous, look at him, he is natural.
Task: [in the distance] AHHH! I'm fighting a fucking bear!
Panic: [proudly] Yeah, he sure is.
- When Bjornson's wife starts to give birth, the men tell Borky to distract the children. He does so by diving out a window. He then has them play catch with Gripples.
- Bjornson ends up unconscious on his stomach in the birthing room; Panic and Greckles drag him out, one on each foot... and drag him crotch-first into a pillar.
- Panic gets conscripted to help with the birth. He declares childbirth to be the most metal thing ever and casts Heroism on her - she's already a goddamn hero!
- Gaijin tries to sleight of hand the baby. Zito then laughs himself stupid at the thought of Greckles pulling sleight-of-hand tricks like putting the baby behind his head and pulling out a quarter, or making it disappear and going "Is this your card?" He's laughing so hard that the rest of the gang is worried that he'll pass out.
- Task talks Borky into doing his morning ritual on a boat rather than at the house, alongside the two Northlander orcs. A hungover Panic just repeats no over and over again, his headache growing even worse.
- Panic pleads with Task to just keep the orcs quiet, at which point all three break into a sea shanty and start rocking the boat... until he intimidates them.
- Snake reveals that at the start of the game he didn't realize that Monty and Taka were siblings. He was constantly befuddled by her mentioning a brother; it took him two or three episodes to realize.
- Ozzy shows up and wants to know why Panic hasn't sent him any letters. After dodging that bullet, Panic finds that Ozzy is suspicious of Willow's proximity to him.
- Borky and Ozzy are incredibly tense with one another. Borky declares he no longer needs a hedgehog by pulling out Tubbs and putting it on his shoulder... only for him to ooze off and fall to the ground.
- Ozzy thinks that Greckles's recent discomfort is due to relationship issues. So he looks for books to help and finds Fifty Shades of Plumage.
- Borky wants to watch the opera due to how beautiful the lead drowess is... but he has no idea what an "opera" means. He's really let down when he learns that she won't be killing anyone in front of the crowd.
- Willow takes Greckles to the restaurant of a skilled rooster kenku chef named... Bwakkah. The guys break down in laughter over the name, especially hearing Greckles use it in a serious sentence. He then tries the sentence again but pronounces the name as an actual chicken cluck.
- Zito realizes that Bwakkah is actually the family name, meaning the daughter's name is Robin Bwakkah.
- Said chef periodically erupts with a rooster cluck while talking. The guys imagine he's really dignified looking until that happens, at which point his neck extends and eyes bulge out.
- With the party separated into three groups, Monty starts to transition to Task and Borky only to abruptly recall it's Panic's turn. The guys imagine the camera was panning around to them and Borky started looking happy, only for it to pan rapidly away as Borky looks sad.
- Borky wants to bring Tubbs into combat because on the reasoning that since they've never tried hurting him, he could theoretically be immune to damage.Zito: Both of them turn to look at the DM in the sky.
Monty: Don't you put this evil on me.
- "How did the Orange Isles fall?" "Somebody dropped them, okay?"
- Given that Greckles's shapechanging hat could get them all killed by Tiengo, the rest of the party is becoming increasingly inclined to getting rid of it.Borky: Is it 'cause you like the hat?
Greckles: Yes, Borky, I very much like this hat.
Borky: You know what I like? ...I like, what I can really sink my teeth into, is the sheer thought of a giant red killing machine not killing me in my sleep. And I don't know if it's as good as a fucking hat, but I'd like to think—
[Taka and everyone else breaks down laughing]
- Borky compares holding onto the hat to flipping a coin. He calls heads, because that's what Tiengo will cut off.
- Borky, Greckles, and Task really get into an argument over it, arriving back at the Sweet Dragon shouting at each other. Panic, who's been having a nice, peaceful dinner with Ozzy, is absolutely baffled by everything.
- Greckles rolls a natural 1 on an investigation and attacks a broom, thinking it's a snake. Everyone else imagines he spent the entire following conversation pulling wrestling moves on it.
- Taka heavily implying that Borky was so excited for the opera that he slept in his fancy outfit, banging on everyone's doors going "It's opera day!", Greckles offering to pay Willow more for fixing up a silencing potion (complete with another distant "Opera day!" from Borky).
- Greckles' interactions with the gnome grandma sitting next to him are adorably hilarious, especially when she pulls out all of her family pictures... of which there are many. When she gets to her seventeenth grandchild she even admits that "Grandma had mad game."
- Borky absolutely loves the word "tuba", leading to his decision to shove a pirate's head into it. He ends up making little "toot toot" sounds of distress and rolling around on the floor.
- When said pirate admits to kidnapping Starlight, Borky suplexes him. And the grandmother gnome applauds.
- The party's reactions when they hear Brorc drop a Precision F-Strike against the pirates that kidnapped the actors;Taka: Guys, Dad's mad!Monty: He's like, 23!
- Tailor the Pigeonmancer summons a massive cloud of pigeons for the group to ride up to the airship.
- Said pigeon cloud has many points going for it, from Monty's shrill shriek of a bird cry to her description of the many bizarre variants (including one that looks like a snake with wings and another that breathes fire) to Task flipping the fuck out.
- Borky only managed to reach the airship due to the effort of one last pigeon: Tubbs. Monty makes his fall to earth dramatic only for the guys to start imagining him bursting on the ground like a water balloon, sending Zito into a laughing fit.
- On being put in the brig with the actors, Borky proceeds to babble on about how great it was while the actors respond with resigned thanks. Out of character, Taka begs somebody to stop him.
- Task pretending to be a sweet little Dragonborn kid because Captain Bladefoot straight up doesn't know what a Kobold is. Compounding the hilarity is the fact that the Captain rolled a Crit 1 to see through Task's ruse, and winds up adopting him and renaming him.Capt. Bladefoot: How'd you like to be Cap'n Bladefoot Jr.?
Task: Well golly Cap'n, that sure would be swell!
- Even better, this isn't the only kid he's taken in; he has, in no particular order, taken in a half-elf four-year-old girl, a bitey gnoll seven-year-old boy, a half-orc ten-year-old boy, a tiefling ten-year-old girl, and a moody 15-year-old human boy. Becomes a Tear Jerker when you realize that he's probably compensating for the likely death of his trueborn son whose picture he keeps around.
- The moody teenager calls the Unexpectables lame, with Task asking if he could stop being a moody bitch. Zito later states he refuses to use the teen's given name, Sky.
- Meanwhile Borky meets a Ruby Rod-esque fight manager who wears a leopard print suit, curl-toed boots, and a massive ostrich-plumed hat while carrying a chihuahua with a thousand yard stare. Panic wants the outfit.
- The fight itself involves Greckles trying to steal a potato, Task yelling for Borky to give the gnoll the chair, and Panic nearly getting spooked while hurting said gnoll's feelings.
- Borky puts the gnoll in a headlock, resulting in Monty digging through rulebooks, which the guys compare to doing your taxes, as epic battle music plays.
- To ensure the three recognize each other despite their disguises, Panic comes up with an incredibly strained sentence incorporating all of their names, ending with him having to "hunt Greckles?" Task pipes up that he used to shoot Greckles with his bow.
- During the intro, Monty replaces everyone's usual introduction with the aliases they're using while on the ship.Monty: When last we left our heroes: Cap'n Bladefoot Jr. the kobold ranger, Borky the top-deck champion, Greckles the ship engineer, and Panic the dad?
- Gaijin rolls to steal an item in engineering while Borky is discussing how he slept rolled up in a goatskin rug. Borky immediately panics, thinking Greckles is going to steal the rug.
Monty: [vindictive whisper] How does it feel?
- Shortly after Gaijin's pen falls apart in his hand. Monty erupts in gleeful shouts that it's not her this time.
Gaijin: I gotta say, Monty, you put us in a situation where we don't have any of our crap and you put us on a fantastic voyage for four days.
- Later they're stumbling through some events due to not having their items on-hand.
Monty: Mmhmm. Yeah, and?
[Gaijin bursts into laughter]
- Tiddlewinks the Tabaxi, daughter of Tiddlywinks.
- When the ship starts shaking, three of the guys have to roll to stay upright. Panic ends up going face first into his mop bucket, causing his makeup to start coming off. As such, he leaves his head in said bucket.Task: [sounding devastated] My sweetroll!
- Borky is confused by the ship's destruction, so he falls back on instinct and suplexes himself and Starlight off the side of the ship.
- Greckles fails to save Kiwi during the chaos, despite explicitly saying he wanted to. Nutcase proceeds to bully Gaijin by posting three pictures claiming he didn't even try.
- In order to be allowed to leave the island of the storm giant they were kidnapped to perform for, the opera company still has to put on a performance. But due to four of their actors having not gotten captured, Starlight conscripts the gang into those roles. Including Borky, who can't read his lines and thus mangles it.
- Greckles, who loves theater and wants to do his absolute best for his part, using his disguise ability, sleight of hand to keep his script where he can see it, and putting on a perfect evil shopkeeper voice... which all comes to naught as his performance roll is a nat 1.
- The crab from the Northlander trek appears again, and we get his name...CRABBIUS THE MIGHTY.Monty: A crab can go anywhere, it's a crab.
- Scarlet and Panic bond over how much being on Bladefist's ship sucked. The rest of the party start happily chatting about all the fun they had on the trip while Panic mutters about getting shot, twice.
- After the party sails back to Alivast, the gang gets to the festival. We then find out what happened to Tarusk after everyone got kidnapped: he swam after them, and gets back the day of the festival. Due to swimming for days and days and days, he is now RIPPED.
- The guys meet the mother of Doros (short for Doroski), Corner. She's a Jewish Mother type who treats him like he's still a child and happily chats about how she's happy he's got a kobold friend, he needs to find a nice kobold or goliath girl, and how they nearly ate Doros.
- Prety much the entirety of the cooking competition;
- Starts off great when Aila press-gangs Greckles into being one of the judges since Hammernar didn't show. This leaves Greckles with the dilemma of trying to decide between Tai and Bwakaww, who is also competing, as well as having to endure Aila's unique personality.
- Tai then conscripts Borky into being his sous chef since apparently one is necessary for the competition, and Tai makes sure to only give Borky simple tasks like chopping onions (which Borky does with his axe).
- Borky piledriving Tai while trying to get on his back during Tai's pre-show stretches and squats.
- Greckles was, at one point, so astounded by one of Bwakaww's dishes that he straight up draws an infinity sign on his card and screams out his adulation in Avian before switching it to a 10+ score.
Gaijin: Fuck you, it's home!
Task: (on being told he'll be getting a full plate) I love you.
- Task shouting his displeasure at Greckles being the first to taste the bear meat Tai prepared, before being awestruck when Tai gets a plate sent up to Task and Panic.
Chat: Thank you, Monty, but fuck you.
- Borky burning a Frenzied Rage to get as much of an advantage on tenderizing the bear meat as possible, including doing jabs, elbow drops, and a flying elbow to it.
- The entire chat and the cast complaining about how hungry Monty is making them with her luxurious descriptions of the food at the competition, which she seems to be taking sadistic glee in.
Taka: You ever seen a fish drown?! WELL YOU'RE ABOUT TO!!
- After the final results are announced Tai and the other chefs go out for drinks, leading to Taka giving this amazing line in lieu of Tai, given the stress the poor chef has been under for two weeks;
- Aila is apparently actually The Ditz; throughout the entire competition she just gives each dish a 0, and after the competition is over we find out that the reason she did that was because she thought it was THE MENU.
- The drinking contest has its moments as well:
Task: Huh, vomiturgy.
- Borky and Scarbles make a bet on who lasts longer - Borky bets a puffer fish and Scarbles bets a dead rat. On the second round Borky fails on a nat 1 and Scarbles gets the puffer fish.
- Task yells that Scarbles at least needs to not eat it raw, leading to an argument on whether or not he can control her life.
- Adric and Panic begin bonding over their shared suffering from the increasingly hard alcohol they're drinking. Adric drunkenly apologizes, then completely sober says that he'll kill Panic if he tries anything with his daughters.
- Panic's mushroom saves him during one of the rounds, but he never asked what happens if you ate it and then drank a lot. After downing the winning pint he hastily conjures up a cool illusion of a fire-breathing dragon for a Vomit Discretion Shot.
- Borky and Scarbles make a bet on who lasts longer - Borky bets a puffer fish and Scarbles bets a dead rat. On the second round Borky fails on a nat 1 and Scarbles gets the puffer fish.
- Hammernar, aasimar of the dwarven god of drinking, is revealed to be an elf. Apparently his dad thought it would be hilarious; Hammernar, not so much. Periodically he gets tired of going to the forge and drinking at the end of the day, he'd prefer to go drink tea and buy doilies for no reason.
- After the two spend a night playing tiddlywinks with A Straightforward Good Time, Panic's first roll for a new session is an investigation check for his clothing.Gaijin: An amazing start to the brand new arc of The Unexpectables.
- Monty says that Panic recognizes he's in the Romansion thanks to the smell. At their stunned reaction she clarifies it's the incense they use.Monty: [as Gaijin laughs] There's something I'm missing and I don't want to know.
Gaijin: Yeah, this is very true.
- Hammernar makes a female dwarf swoon with a smile and a thank you.Panic: Huh, so that's what that's like looking from the inside in.
- Panic gets blackmailed into helping build his own stage, after Hammernar reveals he recognized Panic's trick with the alcohol-absorbing mushroom. It mostly goes well, except a loose board winds up hitting Adric in the face.
- Hassrad has a tiny adorable python that helps him take notes.
- Borky is very distressed after Tubbs the pigeon goes missing. Hassrad's reaction when Borky asks to help find him?"What the fuck is Tubbs?"
- Hassrad gets back to Borky, revealing that the only trace of Tubbs after the attack was a crater.
- Greckles tries to convince Borky to go on an expedition into the wilderness by saying there are brand new creatures out there to find and suplex.
- Grinelda takes the party to do a PSA at the local women's academy, with specific directions to Panic to not advertise. Out of pure spite, Panic uses thaumuturgy to put the symbol and name of the Sweet Dragon on the back of his jacket and flashes it at the audience when she's not looking.
- Task goes to teach an archery class and the rest of the party is mistaken for other teaching applicants. Borky offers to teach the students the way of the suplex while Greckles offers to teach actual self-defense. Unsurprisingly, Greckles gets the most volunteers. Meanwhile...Panic: I'm your substitute teacher for the day. Uh, I don't have anything planned so we're just gonna watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding—
[everyone erupts into laughter]
Gaijin: Spoken like a true substitute teacher.
Principal: You're fired.
- Diddles, a very excitable gnome girl, volunteers to be use as Borky's demonstration. He flubs his strength check and hurls her through the air with a happy "Whee!" and a bone-crunching landing.
Borky: That's fair.
- Borky offers another orc who could teach the wrestling "class" - Mustached Borky. The principal offers to have him jailed if he ever enters the school again. "That's fair."
- A tailor/soapmaker's shop is infested with fae. Borky leads the investigation by asking if the owner has had any sexual relations with a fae. Task is horrified both by Borky's question and the fact that the owner is actually considering it.
- Borky grabs a sample bar of soap and eats a bit, having heard it was made from animal fat. Shortly after they find the fae, one of whom is taking a dump in the soap.
- The fight progresses with the usual chaos of clashing weapons, sizzling acid, and explosions. All the while, they're imagining the shopkeeper trying to work with a customer out front.
- The ancient Infernal book Panic found on the pirate ship contained a song, which he decides to test out by playing. Greckles worries that maybe playing a song written by being from the Abyss might not be the best idea.Zito: Don't listen to him, Panic, open the mouth of Hell itself!
Snake: ...I don't think this is the song that's going to end the world.
Zito: You think!
Snake: I don't think, but I'm gonna play it.
Gaijin: Oh god, he's casting Oblivion!
Snake: The Anti-Life Equation.
Zito: The Armageddon song from Ultima.
- The guys are not thrilled when they end up fighting a gelatinous cube in the sewer.Monty: It's not a question of "why", it's a question of "why not".
Monty: Your thigh has been thoroughly slapped by an acid slime.
- They end up demolishing the cube before it even gets a chance to move... and Tarusk tries to lick some of it up, prompting the entire crew to start scolding him.
- Shortly after they fight the most charismatic slime monster (it has a rat fur mustache). It resists Panic's attacks and sends out baby slimes that try to feel up the butts of Task and Borky.
- The one that tries to fondle Task gets shy and starts poking its tentacles together. When Task murders it horribly, it gives him a look of betrayal.
- Borky splits a slime in two with his axe, creating two smaller slimes. He then decides to cut one of the small smiles, creating two even smaller slimes. The slimes proceed to encircle and gang up on him.
- Zito is forced to reroll an attack and Snake comforts him that it's not like he'll miss. Cue a natural 1 and Panic taking an arrow in the ass. If the severity had been higher, it would have downed him.
- Panic is so over it at this point that he uses a Vicious Mockery so hard the last slime shrivels into a tiny bubble and dies. He really hates the sewers.
- On finding a puzzle, everyone does an intelligence roll and do well... except for Borky who gets a nat 1 and tries to eat part of the puzzle.
- The map for Mel's planned heist, complete with a cartoon kobold declaring "Mel is Awesome!"
- Panic tries to play things cool when they're found by Tiengo by dropping trou and pretending to piss. Monty and Tiengo both are less than thrilled.
- Greckles does a cool roof jump and then falls into a fruit stand. Everyone else erupts into laughter, imagining him ending up in a pile of limbs like Family Guy.
- Tubs now has an emote and explodes in chat. Monty has many, many regrets about creating him.
- And then she gives them a fat red pseudo-dragon. The guys name it Chunk and Monty gives it a noise, meaning they'll probably get attached to it. Monty thinks that makes its inevitable death even better.
- Taka talks about how great the live DnD session was and how much a lazy piece of shit it made him feel that he was annoyed at having to do the math himself.
- Digsby, Lani's guest character, has an arm that periodically detaches from his body and wanders around. He calls it Armsby.
- The character's catchphrase includes the phrase "I'll dig u a 'ole for ten copper!". Borky decides to take him up on this, only for Digsby to toss him 10 copper and start going to town...in the middle of a street.
Lani: It's an exchange program. I'm here from the Natural One-ders, I need to represent.
- His first roll is a natural 1, completely flubbing the digging of a hole when he's been talking about digging them constantly.
- When battle starts, the guys are thrilled to realize he's essentially a turtle Shovel Knight.
- Tarusk latches onto the ankle of a giant that Borky attacks shortly after. The first hit misses while the second does 13 points of damage to the poor drake. Zito asks if he can move his Hunter's Mark to Borky for the next round.Zito: "Fuck you" in Draconic intensifies.
- On his next round, Borky gets another natural 1 and everyone imagines his axe flies out of his hand and hits Tarusk. Thankfully he had advantage so nothing went wrong.
- They loot a human mannequin which Panic proceeds to shove into Borky's fanny pack. Digsby is not quite sure what to think while Armsby goes over to pet it. Its name is Hugh Mann.
- Greckles asks if there's any mammoth cheese in the bag. Monty declares a lightning bolt strikes him while Zito fears a mammoth will fall from the sky and crush them.
- Lani continues to represent the One-ders on his first roll, getting flattened by a log rolling down the hill.
- Faced with the harpies who were chasing said log, Borky suggests they can end this peacefully. The harpies let them go and they can have Panic.
- Trapped inside the log is the missing construct, who is absolutely cheerful and was trying to preach to the harpies about their god. Greckles gets freaked out on hearing its voice and then even more freaked out when he accidentally pulls its leg out of its socket.
- Hearing it has no name, Borky names it Log. Log absolutely loves having a name.
- Artermis threw Log out when it gained sentience. Unsurprisingly, its reaction to learning about Artemis's fate is a cheerful "Hooray!"
- Log casually mentions it's killed things that should have died — specifically a fucking manticore. Task and Panic, who had previously disregarded it as harmless, are stunned speechless.
- How did he achieve this? By summoning a clockwork Celestial. He repeats this feat and then starts chatting with said Celestial about how their god is doing.
- The guys discover an odd lump of something and have no idea what it is. Panic gets the bright idea to ask a nearby tree using a spell that lets him talk with plants. Said tree promptly sasses him, pointing out not only has it never moved and thus has little knowledge, it also doesn't have eyes so it can't see what he's holding.
Zito: We're all watching this as he's talking to a fucking flower.
- Then Zito loses his shit when a daffodil starts talking about how it can feel the winter coming.
- Greckles gets launched by the Updraft Valley and ends up slamming facefirst into the ground. Panic, who's next in line, is a little reluctant.Task: [in the distance] I think his beak is two inches to the left.
- Greckles keeps up his streak of bad luck with water-based encounters, jumping into a pond to investigate only to immediately be swallowed as it's actually a monster's mouth.Borky: Greckles, no! Not again!
- Log reappears and gifts Panic with a pinecone, which he identifies as a baby tree. The guys lose their shit.Taka: What are you going to name it?
- When he casts Detect Magic on it, Monty is obviously deciding how to respond. The other debate it being a paincone that'll explode.
- Hearing that the creatures they discovered are named Chwingas, Zito begins chanting to himself to not make the low-hanging joke. Then Panic fails to collect one and Zito bursts out about a "chwinga and a miss".Snake: Everyone take five Pun Damage.
Monty: Everyone gets disadvantage...
- Going into a cave infested with bats, Borky and Panic chose not to go in and just sit outside drinking. Digsby gets a faceful of bats, with some crawling inside his shell, while Greckles puts his foot through a wall with a "bukaw!"
- Borky got called in to help out and told Panic they asked him to do some "weird bird stuff". In a dark cave. After seeing Greckle's foot burst through the wall, Panic isn't sure he wants to know what's happening.
- With the various ghost and mystery themes, Scooby-Doo references are inevitable. And Borky is the dog.Panic: [composing a song] Borky, Borky, where are you...
- The "Friendship Hole": The guys need shelter for the night and have to huddle together in a small cave for warmth. Task's response to the suggestion of spooning is to squirm into the deepest part of the cave where he can't be part of it.
- The bat in Digsby's shell has stuck around and is getting treated like a pet.Digsby: His name is Batsby, short for Batsbert.
- Panic compares his last experience with druidic magic to something from Bible Black.Monty: No! That doesn't exist in this universe!
- Fleur comments that Panic has "something at his waist" that it's not a big fan of, meaning Fey Slicer. Everyone else thinks of something else.
- When Greckles offers to take a seed to see Ginter's Folly, Fleur makes it clear it's going to be implanted in his body.Borky: Yeah, Greckles, open your mouth, you love doing that so much! Just remove your foot and get it in!
- Log summons Cuddles, a Celestial made entirely out of buzz saws.
- Running from massive wood amalgams, an injured Panic gets healed so he won't be limping along. After a joke about going from limp to erect...Greckles: Panic, is this encounter giving you wood?
[the music cuts out completely and everyone loses their shit]
Panic: Greckles, shut up, I'm not sure if I'm traumatized by this or not.
- After an extremely serious episode involving The Fleur De Mort, the Unexpectables get back into their typical form by inducing collective vomiting to remove Fleur De Mort's seeds from their stomachs. Panic achieves this by using Thaumaturgy to replicate the smell of the rotting cheese they once encountered.Zito: Oh god, it's like the Family Guy scene!
[cue re-enactment of said scene]
- A Meta gag on the Unexpectables Wiki: on April Fools' Day 2018, all of the main character pages were edited to become "Monty Glu's Cookbook." Each of the dishes, obviously, is related to the character whose page it was located on note :
- Slow Cooker BBQ Pork Chops (Borky)
- Chicken Teriyaki Don (Greckles)
- Beef Wellington (Panic)
- Alligator Sausage (Task)
- Turtle Soup (Digsby)
- Veggie Plate (Lily)
- Roast Turkey (Remy)
- Caribbean Goat Curry (Arivine)
- The Starlight Cocktail (Starlight)
- Green Eyed Monster (Helga)
- Virgin Margarita (Willow)
- Hello Kitty Toaster (Log)
- Refrigerator (Big Guy)
- Meat Grinder (Might-Crank)
- Cappuccino Machine (Steve)
- Blender (Straightforward Good Time)
- Toaster Oven (Suplex Thunder)
- Also on April Fools' Day, the Unexpectables' Twitter feed was temporarily put under Log's control.@fba815: Can you please be a little more quietLog: WHAT'S A QUIET???????????? I LOVE YOU! - Log
- Batsby didn't vomit originally, so Panic has to once again induce vomiting. Getting the facehugger-esque seed out of him isn't funny, but Digsby confuses the poor bat by shaking him, petting his stomach, and then roughly petting him.
- The group improvises a trap setup to lure and kill a pair of bugbears. Monty gives them an idea of what it looks like once they're done.Monty: Your beautiful masterpiece. Your pope with a knife and a penguin, standing around a donut trap with a bear trap at the bottom.
Lani: A Dark Souls 3 boss.
Taka: With giant sandals.
Monty: Yeah, with mist and fog included, stands before you.
- And then Taka gives him the voice of his Vermintide character. "Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my sword!"
- Armsby activates Gripples, who swells up and pops off Hugh's head creating a penguin-headed Hoketh cleric. "Now you face a true god!" All while Armsby is flipping off the wailing bugbear.Monty You currently hear a bugbear crying, Hugh Mann's head is smoking. The plan's kind of working?
- After throwing a javelin at a bugbear, Borky is horrified to see it's still alive while impaled with said javelin, pierced with two arrows, and pinned by a bear trap. He apologizes constantly while trying to put him out of his misery with another javelin. And hits, but fails to kill him.
- Greckles misses with a dart throw and hits Hugh Mann for 7 points of betrayal damage. He "dies" and topples into the pit as the party shouts in horror; at least he's already in a hole so they can bury him.
- Borky suplexes a bugbear, all thanks to Panic's encouragement. However it turns out that the bugbear is also a suplex master, who counters and then suplexes Borky.Monty: I don't even know how to make this work and I'm sure somebody's going to yell at me for it, but whatever. I don't care anymore. I can't. You're suplexed...
Monty: Greckles, it is now your turn, you're watching two giant idiots suplexing each other in rapid succession.
Greckles: [baffled] What in the hells am I supposed to do?
- Fighting revenants, Task hits one in the chest which proceeds to flip him off. He shoots the offending hand off, pinning it to the wall... and the armor uses its other hand to flip him off.
- After yet another miss for Greckles, Snake suggests changing his weapon's name to the "Useless Acid Dagger of Stab".
- One Revenant slaps Borky in the face repeatedly and Borky hurts his hand trying to slap it back. Meanwhile another sneaks up behind and kicks him between the legs before punching him in the back of the head.Taka: "I'm being bullied!" Borky's being bullied. Give him a wedgie. Oh, do they drag me to the bathroom and give me a swirlie after this?
Monty: I hope so.
- Taka can be heard making slapping sounds and shouts of pain. Task considers helping him... then changes his mind and goes for one that's not attacking Borky, but not before watching the slapfest a little longer.
- Panic uses Shatter, destroying one revenant and reducing another to a torso with one leg. It tries to kick Task in the face as a final act of defiance, only to overbalance and fall over.
- Digsby opens a door and gets hit by a log trap, sending him flying into a bat-filled, guano-covered room behind him... and slamming into Task on the way.Digsby: [watching the bats fly away] Goodbye, babies.
Task: [muffled] Get off me!
- Taka tries to touch just the tip of his tongue to a moldy wheel of cheese, reasoning that would allow him to avoid damage or a saving roll like in Dark Souls.Monty: You can't Dark Souls roll out of taste!
- Inspired by Borky Dark Souls rolling into a room, Digsby tries to do the same and ends up stuck on his back.
- Gaijin accidentally creates a new nickname for Borky: Dorky.
- Investigating a seemingly empty kitchen, Task opens a crate from which a bugbear jumps out. At the same time, two pop out of barrels, one appears from behind the door they opened, and another comes out from behind a giant corpse. The guys deem it something out of Looney Tunes or a vaudeville show.
Monty: The beefiest chefs.
- One bugbear chef is wielding a rolling pin the size of a greatclub. And it uses it for a Groin Attack on Borky. Cue Borky's signature war cry in a falsetto scream and spending the rest of the fight with a hand holding his crotch.
- Panic asks one chef if the barbecue sauce is any good. It gets a natural 1 on its roll to hit and starts chatting up the virtues of the different sauces... in goblin, which Panic can't understand.
- Panic mind controls the saucier and (due to Monty being unfamiliar with the spell) is able to maintain control of it easily due to their rapport from talking. When it's freed, Panic admits he didn't really like the sauce; the bugbear takes double damage from the Mockery.
- Greckles finally gets a turn in combat.Monty: You currently see like a jack-in-the-box bugbear beating down on Task and Tarusk. You see Digsby just full on slapped a bugbear across the face with his shovel. Panic is screaming about barbecue sauce for some reason. [chuckles start] And Borky's being beaten by a rolling pin.
Borky: [slap] Ow! [slap] Ow! I wanna get out of this place!
- A bugbear attacks Digsby and gets its morningstar stuck in his shell. Digsby awkwardly tries to attack back only for his shovel to get stuck. The guys immediately start comparing it to Space Balls.
- Near the end of the episode the party explore a room that turns out to be a sort of bathing room or spa, with bugbears relaxing in large tubs of water. When they manage to close the door without disturbing the occupants, Lani suggests they had cucumber slices over their eyes.
- While the rest of the party is engaged in battle with a group of Mimics, Panic is too busy imagining his stage to notice the chaos in the background.
- Panic sets a prank trap with some alchemist's fire, which sets a bugbear ablaze almost immediately. It tries to punch Panic in face despite currently being on fire.Taka I can't help but feel you deserve this.
- The fact that the two bathing bugbears are wearing towels and "weird bugbear crocs" and carrying martini glasses. Gaijin is dumbfounded on how to respond to these simultaneously dangerous and ridiculous enemies.
- Monty's explanation of what a pseduopod is: "It is a pod of... pseudo..."
- Borky attacks a Mimic with a natural 1 to hit, resulting in an Evil Dead 2-style fountain of acid blood spurting into his face.Zito: I think Borky's got this covered.
Borky: Ahh! It's in me shoes! It's in my galoshes!
- Panic spooks the burning bugbear and then whiffs a punch at it. The other tries to put him out by throwing his cocktail at the fire, only for it to burn more. At which point it proceeds to punch Panic in the face. Twice. And drops his towel in the confusion.Gaijin: I just imagine this being a slapfight with a bugbear in a towel and Panic.
- Task shoots an arrow and gets a nat 1 to hit, pegging Greckles directly in the butt. Cheers erupt as it means everyone has now hit each other with friendly fire.[to the tune of "The Circle of Life"] It's the cir-cle of friendly fire!
Panic: Shot in the butt, and Task's to bla-ame~
- Panic casts his Healing Words on Greckles.
Monty: You give archery a bad name.
Zito: Oh, whoa whoa whoa whoa, slow the fuck down there!
- Greckles is so pissed he yanks the arrow out of his butt and tries to stab a bugbear to death with it.
- Panic attacks a bugbear with a spear... and manages to poke it in the nipple. It punches him in the nose. Again.
- Walking stealthily down a hallway, Greckles hits an invisible tripwire and is doused in... barbecue sauce. Panic grabs some and promises to carry on the legacy of the nameless bugbear who made pretty rocking sauce. And then Borky trips another wire and gets covered in parsley.
- Monty thought this trap wasn't too stupid when planning it. Seeing it in action, she admits she was wrong.
- Greckles is possessed.Panic: So do you want to roll a new character now or at the end of the session?
- The spirit tries to talk, but it's unintelligible due to not knowing how to talk with a beak.
- Borky starts strangling Greckles and continues to do so even after the ghost is ejected.Monty: Yeah, you're being strangled, you're covered in a net, your feelings are hurt, you smell like barbecue sauce... [Zito cackles] It's not a good day.
- The choking continues even after the fight ends, so Greckles rolls a nat 20 to kick Borky in the balls.
- The ghost is a crotchety old man who Task manages to talk down. He starts complaining how being dead sucks and yelling at all the youngsters to treat his property with respect.Ghost: That weird red rabbit is being rude to me.
- Borky gets crushed by an automatic door, with one leg and arm on each side of the door and his nuts right in the line of fire.
- The episode starts with the dragon mugging Task, Panic, and Borky in slow motion. All the while, Digsby is frantically Minecraft-style digging through the stone wall.
- Borky gives the dragon Gripples and then activates it... destroying part of the treasure pile and leaving the dragon mildly annoyed.
- Zito is not happy with Borky starting a fight with the dragon. They assure him it's just a baby dragon; he points out it's still a dragon.Taka: Eighteen just hits?
Snake: Welcome to DnD, buddy.
Monty: Welcome to dragons.
- With the dragon in the air, Greckles can't do anything so he goes looking through the treasure pile for anything special and finds... a book of dragon pickup lines. And he uses his bonus action to steal it.
- On his next turn, Greckles ignores the grounded dragon in favor of looking for good pickup lines. Except they're all really bad and don't make any sense, burning through both his actions.
- Panic unleashes an epic burn on the dragon, who fails his save and then turns to give the bard a death glare so severe his Barbed Hide activates out of fear. The dragon expresses its displeasure by breathing acid which drops Panic from full health to negative 2.Panic: Hey, how do you kill yourself with a dragon? Climb its ego and fall to its IQ.
Panic: (waking to see Borky) Oh goddammit.
- Borky runs over to heal Panic with a potion, but due to his rage he just breaks the bottle and shoves it into his mouth.
- Greckles finally starts putting his plan for the book into action, conjuring the illusion of a black dragon... just before the dragon flies away. And then Digsby panics on spotting the illusion making a draconic come hither face.
- As a result, his only contribution to the fight is freaking out the dragon just prior to Task's killing blow.
- Panic is, once again, completely over this adventure and just wants to leave. His lack of enthusiasm carries over to the rest they take when the rest of the party starts piling items around him to be identified.
- Deciding the make the rest a long one, they debate eating one of the dead horses only to realize they have dragon meat. And barbecue sauce.
- Borky gets rammed by a living table.
Monty: If this kills you, I'm going to be so upset.
- The table is dealing damage comparable to the dragon and beats all of them on the initiative roll.
Monty: [to Panic] You're watching your companions getting slapped around by a table.
Taka: Just walk out of the room and close the door, dude, it's really the smartest thing you could do.
- Taka suggests Gaijin try to conjure up the illusion of a female table on his turn.
- Panic destroys the table then takes the splinters and shoves them in the "face" of a nearby (inert) crate and demands to know if it wants to have a go.
- They debate why a pixie wouldn't be able to escape her birdcage after thousands of years, except she doesn't have anything to pick the lock with.Monty: She's got a flask and her nightmares, that's it!
- The room with the mimic table has a large velvet boot in it, which Gaijin mistakes for a gun at first glance. Cue Snake saying that it's like the meme with the butterfly with Greckles going "Is this a gun?"
- On the way back to Alivast they completely avoid Fleur, the Teeth Ox, and Updrift Valley.Snake: Hey, you know what fucking sucks? Hindsight.
- The guys try to enter Alivast only to set off sensors due to the fruit from Fleur. Digsby absentmindedly greets the guards while Greckles stands stock still, hands in the air. Everyone starts imagining the guards tackling Digsby while he's happily chatting.
- The guys meet Muldos, an anglerfish Triton. Thanks to males of her race being malformed gnome-sized fishmen, she treats everyone as a female and considers them all (except for Task) beautiful. Between her absentminded voice and general absentminded behavior, she's declared Borky's equal.
- Her "husbands" randomly show up and either shrivel up or get eaten by cats. When in her pelican form, she carries them around in her bill. Task gives 40% odds she eats them when they're used up.
- Log has opened his temple... in Tarusk's doghouse. Borky tries, and fails, to scam him into keeping said doghouse as the temple.
- Batsby is now a high priest of Oreyara and has a little pope outfit. Digsby is happy for him.
- Steve is telling poems on the stage while the audience is doing hipster finger snaps.
- The party goes to visit Willow only to find a stone-faced Doros with a drawn sword glaring at them from the doorway.
- Borky finally gets his mystery lump identified by Willow: Hill giant ear wax. She advises he wash his hands.
- Welsh has Panic sit down next to Helina, who is extremely flustered at his presence. Before leaving she shoves a music poster into his chest with a shout of "Music!"
- Scarbles sees the poster and offers 5 gold for it since she really likes the musician. Panic keeps trying to raise the price, ultimately getting 7 gold after waxing lyrical about all his features a goblin would find attractive (teeth, overbite, etc.). She then disappears into a literal hole in the wall, to Task's bewilderment as it's a hole in the wall of their inn.
- The idea of getting an in-house blacksmith is met with delight from the crew, who imagine at this rate they might never need to leave the inn.Greckles: Borky, we could become hikikomori.
Borky: I don't wanna be a ghost.
- When the guys suggest going to the man who made the Scary Acid Dagger of Stab to work with their dragon bits, Monty notes it's not creepy at all how they just wander into his house.
- The man asks how the dagger's holding up. Greckles starts having flashbacks of the rug incident.
- Panic goes to a construct to get his new dragonscale jacket made. Said construct takes his current tattered jacket away in disgust and hurls it into a furnace. It takes a while for Snake to realize that this wasn't just for flavor, his jacket is gone.Snake: So, I guess I'm just shirtless now.
Taka: Goodbye, season two outfit for Panic.
Snake: Hello season three.
- Greckles tries to eavesdrop on some constructs only to roll a nat 1. He hears nothing, but does make eye contact with Straightforward Good Time and feel a connection.
- Construct 9 advises Task, is a rather biting tone, that with the cold weather he should wear pants.
- On the main Roll20 page for the campaign, the symbol for the flux orb retrieval arc is a bottle of BBQ sauce.
- Gaijin is unable to attend the session.Monty: When last we left our heroes, Greckles died.
Taka: Fucking hell. Greckles is dead. We're at the funeral, right? Play the kazoo. [taps are played on the duck call]
- Welch accompanies the party for the day and does fantastically, with crits and natural 20s all over. The guys start asking if they can just cover him with blue feathers and give him a straw hat, poncho, and duck bill.
- Tiengo appears aboveground, where he is noted to be less terrifying in the daylight. The guys immediately imagine he looks like Squidward.
- When Tiengo wants to take Helina, Panic offers to accompany to be the diplomatic one when interrogating culprits. "Good cop, terrifying cop."
- Tiengo actually seems to like Helina after she makes up a story about how she got her scar, proceeding to regale her with how he got his wide range of scars. It turns out this is his version of a pick up line.
- While trying to eavesdrop on a conversation between Tiengo and Helina, two of the party members both roll natural ones on "perception" and instead of hearing anything, they end up acting out what is recognizably "Cha Cha Slide".
- The guys go to grab some pseudo-dragons and discover them playing cards in the middle of the room, before scattering to their perches when spotted.Snake: Did we just have a Toy Story moment?
- Helina shoves Panic into the manhole when they head out. They start imagining her behaving like a 70's era beach bully, wearing a leather jacket and calling Panic a nerd.
- When they go underground, Monty notes the sewers still suck. A later perception check by Helina and Panic both fail, causing the two to gag on the smell.
- Quarion the drow's picture is greeted by the cry of "Oh no, he's hot!" In the next scene Borky is discussing the possibility of whether somebody hotter than Panic could exist. Cue a faint yell of "No" from Panic.
- Helina ends up underground, surrounded by two tieflings and a drow. Her panic is compared to a nun at a KISS concert in the 80's.
- A fight on the surface has a crowd of sea gulls (plus one pigeon that looks like a sea gull) eating popcorn as they watch the fight.
- Task rolls another nat 1 to hit and pegs Welch in the butt.
- A group of thugs planned to dump a triton in the ocean, weighted down with rocks. Task asks if that would even work, given tritons are aquatic by nature.Welch: Y'know, people here are kind of stupid.
- Welch accidentally triggers a trap that summons two flame-covered dogs, to Task's absolute dismay as he and Welch fumble their stealth rolls.Taka: Can we roll Insight to see if they're good dogs?
Zito: No, they're heckhounds, man!
Taka: Heckhounds!? Not heckhounds!
Monty: Oh fun, they have advantage on this.
Zito: Oh fucking yup, that's great!
- During a fight where the party is split with one group above ground and the other below ground, Borky crit fails a throw with his lightning javelin. Good news, it doesn't hit anyone. Bad news, it hits the wall and explodes. Snake then mentions that, underground, for some reason he can't put his finger on, Panic feels a strange sense of relief.
- Panic manages to completely subdue one of the heckhounds by calling it a bad dog in Infernal and then gets a natural 20 Persuasion to make it be a good boy. Tiengo is nonplussed with the entire affair.
- The episode starts with the guys talking about Gaijin's new character, Welch, who they draped with Greckles's skin.
- Tiengo gets tired of subtly (for him) putting the moves on Helina and proceeds to bluntly offer sex. She goes off and unload all of her worries and confusion in a massive rant that leaves Tiengo reeling in shock while Panic pumps a fist in joy.Tiengo: A "no" would have sufficed.
- The party reunites and Borky delivers the bad news about the lightning javelin. Greckles erupts into delighted laughter while Panic consoles Borky before breathing a sigh of relief.
- Borky orc-stealths to grapple an enemy: Crab-walking along a wall while humming a stealth tune, in full sight of his befuddled target, before leaping onto him.
- As Monty describes a yagnoloth, the guys sum it up as a cross between a shit-disturber and chaos lawyer.
- Task asks where Tiengo went; Panic replies he fucked off after Helina gave him a verbal smackdown. She says she should probably apologize only for everybody to quickly reply it's fine since he's an asshole.
- Posing as a cultist, Panic hypes up an enemy to take on Borky and gives him a heart slap on the back with a side of Bestow Curse. His victim is enamored when Panic whips off his robe and goes shirtless.
- When Greckles kills the goon, he pauses to stare at Panic screaming at another cultist. And then notices the daggers in his chest.
- Borky gets mind controlled and told to lock himself inside a cage. His immediate response is to ask which cage, proving that even under mind control he's still Borky. Once inside, he is absolutely ecstatic to be in the cage; the old man currently crushed into the cage with him is somewhat less happy.
- When Borky breaks free, they propose having him use the cage, with the old man still inside, as an improvised weapon.
- Borky's threat to a demonic creature that tore its way out of a man's corpse: He's going to send it back to where it came from, an old man's butt. Cue the old man in the cage nervously locking it.
- Panic ponders out loud on what the conquest demon called him, asking what it means. Sebastian responds with a loud "I don't know!" and shuffles them out of the cult's base.
- Before the end of the episode, Borky asks Panic to identify his sword. Task wants to know why he dropped a potentially cursed sword on the table while they were eating.
- Panic looks out the window in the morning and Borky asks if he's wearing a shirt; his silence speaks volumes. Snake then declares Panic sleeps in the nude.
- A dwarf warns that snow's coming, specifically two feet of snow which drops all at once. Borky falls out a window and is buried in a snowbank while Luistrog is buried as he was standing guard.
- After Greckles frees Borky from the snow, he tries walking across the roof to Task's window, only to fall off and take Greckles with him. Task looks up at the noise and then goes back to sleep.
- When Greckles decides to not wake Helga, Skarbles praises him for "choosing life".
- Borky throws a giant snowball at Task, inside the inn. Task easily dodges and says he's telling Helga; cue Borky frantically trying to scoop up the snow.
- Greckles fails a medicine roll on the knowledge of how many children tabaxi have. His eyes glaze over as he imagines the Sweet Dragon overrun by thousands of destructive tabaxi kittens, with Skarbles grabbing one and skittering back into a hole.
- Interviewing another orc as a possible guard, Borky grabs his hag skull goblet and sits with his legs crossed on the table. As Greckles insights, and Taka gladly confirms, Borky is totally compensating.
- At the notion of a "head orc" being tossed around, the image of Helga appears.
- Task decides to check on Hassrad and finds that he is decidedly bluer than usual with actual icicles forming on his face. Borky carries him to the new bathhouse and body slams him face first into the pool.
- Greckles is squicked by the others just jumping into the water without cleaning themselves first. Then Task brings in Tarusk and Panic starts cleaning his mouth, including pulling out various bits of trash like bird legs and mouse tails. Greckles leaves very quickly.
- Greckles and Brorc get into an argument over whether he can see Solly or not. Meanwhile Panic and Borky are walking away and muttering how Greckles is obviously dead and they can almost hear Brorc killing him from the street.
- Task goes back to talk Brorc down. Cue Borky and Panic discussing how while they have Welch to replace Greckles they still need to find a new archer.
- Brorc gives Greckles a harsh look and Greckles gets a natural 1 on his insight roll. The guys imagine it's Brorc giving an actual bird in Greckles's clothes the stinkeye.
- Borky asks for the strongest tea at the shop, which is a strong pepper tea. He fails his constitution roll and ends up sitting there, making soft moaning sounds as Panic watches in delight.
- Brorc asked for black tea. The shopkeeper just smiled and replied it would be with sugar and milk, as usual.
- They find out that Log has been missing because he was put in the drunk tank after preaching without a permit.
- When the guys pick Log up, he's absolutely delighted to talk about how he went to jail and established a pecking order. This despite the guard pointing out it was just the drunk tank and he was alone.
- Brorc is continually baffled by Doros and is even more baffled by his family. Task agrees, finding it weird that the kobolds who adopted him didn't just eat him.
- Panic gets a natural 1 insight on Brorc's refusal to visit the Sweet Dragon and deduces that Brorc is secretly in love with him.
- The conversation with Brorc becomes a little too personal, leading up to Borky mentioning Brorc's lack of a love life. Realizing the landmine he just stepped on, Borky promptly runs out of the tea shop.
- Returning to 9's workshop for their clothes, the construct imperiously demands Panic's old jacket which she also attempts to toss into the forge. After Panic rescues it and states he wants it for sentimental value, 9 gives a disgusted sigh at "emotions".
- On his way out, Greckles snipes at 9 for having no sense of taste. 9 fires back that he's a feather boa in shoddy clothes. Borky puts him in a headlock and drags him out of the building.Panic: Wow, did it just get colder in here?
- Panic runs into Helena and, remembering her talking about all the stress she was under, decides to give her his ticket to the Romansion to get a spa treatment. Only afterwards does Snake realize he just gave a nun a ticket to a brothel.
- Hasrad finally comes into the inn, but is sulking in the corner like an annoyed emo teen. Greckles sits next to him since he also wants to be alone, which baffles Hasrad as that means he's not alone.
- The guys try to get Log to check the inn to see if there's any curse or other evil making the workers sick. Gaijin points out they're essentially asking an eight year-old to perform an exorcism.
- Log uses Detect Evil and discovers desecrated ground. The immediate assumption is that Scarbles has burrowed into hell.
- Snake is out for the week, with the excuse that he is fucking dead due to rocking too hard.
- Monty has on of Meryl's brothers be snotty about his name and inadvertently makes him a Stan Lee joke as a result. As the guys keep picking at it, she declares she has never regretted something so intensely.
- Hasrad is bundled up in multiple layers of coats and mittens, being likened to Randy in A Christmas Story.
- At one point he's so busy being cold and miserable that he completely misses a load of snow that gets dumped on his head.
- When the inevitable snowball starts, he's so heavily bundled he can't move. Borky literally grabs him for his team and then sets him up as a wall to hide behind. Hasrad gets a natural 20 on initiative and manages to peg Meryl, yelling about free food.
- Greckles drops a smoke cloud on the fight and Borky rolls a nat 1 while throwing an oversized snowball. Hasrad is slammed face first into the snow.
- His decoy is dubbed "Grackles" and rather than having a kenku head it's a hyper-realistic bird face.
- Monty becomes increasingly spooked as the fight against the ice hag progresses due to a massive thunderstorm rolling through her area. Taka declares that the hag is so powerful she's creating a storm to attack Monty.
- Hasrad reluctantly uses a sacrificial spell to save one of the kids, knowing that it will leave him weakened and lead his sister to him. Despite this, he admits the day was fun... and promptly vomits.
- Taka is currently rooming at Bosco's place, with him periodically popping up to offer commentary and threaten to kick Taka out if chat is mean to him.
- Panic is absolutely baffled to learn the guys got a kid killed last episode. Borky says the lesson is that this is what happens when Panic doesn't hang out.
- When Borky accused Panic of not doing "one job" keeping the pseud-dragons in line, Panic fires back he had several jobs and did them all while they were getting a kid killed.
- Scarbles isn't overly surprised about the dead kid thing; she wouldn't trust the guys as babysitters.
- In the pseudo-dragon shed they find the rotting corpse of one of Muldos's husbands. Task's reaction is to immediately want it checked out the window and off their property. Borky grabs a box and proceeds to do the scene of Peter Griffin tossing a frog out the window.Panic: You know, I'd like to say something before we do this. It was nice and quiet when it was just me. The second you guys come back this shit happens.
- Included with the letter from Muidos is a request if somebody else finds the husband's corpse to bury it before it attracts flies.
- Remy sends a note including a heartfelt "unn" from Gregory, noting that he lacks the ability to convey all the meaning contained in it. Lily's letter is just as adorkable as always and comes with a winter wolf cloak; Borky imagines her sneaking up and snapping its neck Metal Gear style.
- Greckles encounters one of Hassrad's snakes and can hear it talking. Despite never understanding it previously, he doesn't even pause to consider it strange. When the others call him out on this after the session, Gaijin simply starts listing all the weird shit in Alivast to explain that Greckles is just numb to this shit.
- When the guys compare it to Harry getting Parseltongue, Gaijin worriedly asks if he's a Horcrux now.
- Awakened by dark magic at night, Panic grabs his guitar and heads for the other rooms without putting on any pants. When Monty stops and demands to know what exactly this means, Snake confirms they already know he sleeps in the buff.
- Holding his guitar as a comic censor, Panic asks Task if he noticed anything strange. Task, who usually walks around without any pants, doesn't find the situation peculiar at all.
- Panic slaps Borky awake and gets a max damage unarmed strike in response. He ends up talking like he's concussed afterward while Borky hugs his naked body.
- The guys absolutely love Doros's blunt, clumsy love letters to Willow and compare his simple sentences to Guru's "I saw a bird" line.
- Panic runs up to a possessed Willow and uses Bestow Curse, forgetting that it won't work. Monty makes him roll an Intelligence check to see if it's a good idea and he fails, as does the spell.
- Borky wields his swords against a shade and its minions, ultimately breaking the blade and releasing the dormant barchoba inside. Borky promptly picks the little thing up and tries to use it to Intimidate the shade. He succeeds in offending both the barchoba and the shade.
- Snake belatedly realizes that going into this in the nude has backfired as he doesn't have his magic items. He still thinks it was worth it.Snake: Just think of the fan art.
Monty: I don't want to.
Zito: I already have it. Fucking Siggy sent me one already!
- In the aftermath of the battle, the various members of the team go to check on the damage, tend to Willow, and ponder the mention of a "Dancing Death". And Panic goes to get pants.
- After naming the episode "Naked Fear", Bosco adds his two cents and recommends "Check Your Fucking Mail" since people are literally dying trying to get letters to them.
- Borky makes the mistake of tipping Doros off to the fact that he feels guilty about something and it ends up with Doros chasing Borky through the inn at a powerwalk. Borky tries to deceive Doros, botches and winds up getting intimidated as a result.
- Helena happily regales Panic with her time at the Romansion, having completely failed to realize it was a brothel or that the two male companions accompanying her were gigolos. The entire time Panic has a giant grin on his face while Welch is trying not to laugh.
- They meet a kenku named Scratch who only speaks by imitating the voices of others and uses those plus other imitations to effectively beat box. Greckles promptly starts beat boxing right back at him. Borky is fairly certain this is just a dream.
- Task sleight of hands a tambourine to join a jam session. The rest of the group starts giving him hell, thinking he's robbing the place.
- Combat against dragon cultists starts and Task takes forty points of damage in the first round. Everyone just wants to know what Zito did to piss off Monty so much.
- Gaijin accidentally rolls Cards when going for Acrobatics; cue the Yugioh jokes.
- Borky tries to distract a wyvern by jumping around shouting nonsensically and gesturing. He ends up doing a perfect wyvern mating call. His target becomes enamored and actually gets enraged when another wyvern interrupts by attacking the distracted orc.
- Panic heals Borky, causing the wyvern to become insanely jealous. Monty says it's imagining fan art scenes of the two happily married with kids.
- Panic uses a Vicious Mockery, distracting a dragonborn when it was about to breathe fire. As a result of failing to breathe properly during its attack, its head explodes.Snake: I Vicious Mockeried the guy you're fighting so hard his head exploded!
Gaijin: Oh good.
- Before the episode, one member of chat declares it's "dragon time". Taka points out no, it was dragon time last episode, then another dragon came up and snapped the first dragon's neck.
- Borky is understandably nervous when Willow leads a conversation by nervously checking to make sure they're friends. Her asking him to be a guinea pig does not help this feeling.
- Borky assures Willow that if anyone tries to make her leave and return to her homeland they'll have to go through him, Task, Panic, Doros, Helga, and the bird.
- Realizing his formal wolf head outfit was destroyed, Borky asks Panic if he can try to wear his old jacket. Panic tries to close the door but Borky holds it open and finally lets Borky try. Not only does it not fit, when Borky flexes to try and tear the arms the entire jacket shreds.
- After Helga asks to bring back some of the high quality booze from the party, Gaijin mentions he's going to look for an opportunity to sleight of hand the punch bowl. Cue jokes about spiking the punch and an irate Helga getting called in by the dean.
- Greckles gets his chance and rolls a nat 20, resulting in him somehow stealing the entire punch bowl. The guys imagine it as something out of Leisure Suit Larry, with a JPEG of the bowl just sliding into his open cloak.
- Halfden gives Borky and Greckles affectionate hugs when meeting them. He cracks Borky's back and potentially breaks either the punch bowl or Greckles. He subsequently refers to Greckles as "broken bird".
- Panic goes to join the musicians playing at the party only for Zarv to worry he's too loud for the atmosphere. Panic responds he can read the mood and be subtle... all while wearing a lion's pelt.
- The reunion between the softspoken, nearly emotionless Aila and Balfor is a sight to behold, with everyone getting out of the way as fast as possible. Zito even notes that he is moving over a square.
- Balfor grabs her in a massive hug and her head disappears into his beard.
- Covered with pig grease, Borky lifts up Helena and wipes his face on her shoulder, much to Taka's regret after he simply stated the nearest server. As she runs off, Panic gives Borky a disappointed look which serves as a Vicious Mockery for 7 points of "emotional damage".
- Meeting Tarusk for the first time, Remy awkwardly bows only to realize he's bowing to a dog. Before he can straighten up, Task orders Tarusk to lick Remy's face; Bosco chooses to fail his saving throw and Remy is knocked flat and gets slobbered.
- Shooting the breeze with Remy, talk turns to Panic's love life with the guys lightly making fun of him. Panic is absolutely dumbfounded at how abruptly they turned on him.
- Remy asks to talk with Brorc and apologizes for how things went last time. When Balfor asks what he means, the two start stammering out excuses as they don't want to admit they're talking about his letter to Aila.
- Solly invites Greckles to waltz with her. As he hears the words "waltz", Greckles goes wide-eyed and breaks into a bird-sweat. He ends up getting an exceedingly awkward lesson from Remy who nearly bungles the thing as well.
- When Greckles later asks Remy for some additional lessons, Hammernar and Panic start musing that somebody needs to open a window as it's starting to smell like birds making out in here.
- Borky decides to make up for his earlier bungle by taking over Helena's duty as a waiter and making her dance with Panic. He can be heard in the background alternating between serving wine to guests and himself, and then squicks Zito by taking an unattended wine glass to serve to somebody else.
- A little old granny asks Borky for a dance while Tarusk grabs a resisting Task and drags him onto the floor for a dance. Task and Tarusk do abysmally while the little granny, who is a third Borky's size, proceeds to dance the poor orc in the ground.
- Tarusk, seeing all the dancing, started giving Task puppy eyes to ask for one. When Zito asked Monty to get out of his familiar's eyes, she refused.
- The Silver King introduces himself to the audience by telling an incredibly lame joke and Panic boos him on instinct. Seeing this, Greckles dives under the hors d'oeuvres table and Task tries (and fails) to laugh politely. Bosco and Remy are both baffled.
- For his trouble, Panic gets a Look that makes him recall nearly dying to the black dragon. When he talks with the Silver King, Panic apologizes and claims it's better to start with a knock-knock joke.
- Greckles tries to shadow the Silver King to listen in, at one point ending up hiding under a woman's ballgown skirt.
- The Silver King turns down an arranged marriage with Solly, saying silver isn't her color. He then gives Brorc and Greckles a smile while saying she'd look better in blue or bronze... and then asks if Solly might be interested in getting together with one of his children.
- When Borky is the only member of the party who doesn't get to talk with the Silver King, he feels left out so Panic urges him to go say hi. He and Panic then proceed to eat deviled eggs like popcorn while watching the ensuing spectacle.
- Borky relates the time he suplexed a ten foot tall hag. The Silver King is astonished not only by Borky's story but by the fact it's true.
- Attendants bring out wine bottles to compensate for the missing punch. Greckles proceeds to steal a bottle the instant one attendant looks away.
- Brorc tells the guys not to go on the balcony, completely meaning this, only to also wink. After the guys finally hash out he honestly doesn't want them out there, they head out anyway.
Borky: [failing his first Insight on Taylor's disguise] Are you the Pigeonmancer?
- The return of Taylor the Pigeonmancer, along with him turning the entire party into Birds to spy on a meeting.
- Borky absolutely refuses to accept Taylor's conclusion that Tubbs is dead and then starts trying to haggle for a new one. Zito begins yelling for Monty to not give him the chance.
- The guys are delighted to discover they have entered the Pigeon Zone, especially Snake and Bosco since flying is a kenku's dream.
- Highlights of their flight to spy include Panic failing a Wisdom saving throw and taking a dump on a statue; Borky getting his fat bird butt stuck in a hole; and Task "helping" Borky by pulling at his neck and just pulling out feathers.
- After some heavy talk about Taylor's motivation, he turns into a pigeon and departs... only to be knocked out of the air by a leaping cat.
- Remy ends up dealing with a very clingy and very drunk Balfor. The rest of the crowd is watching disapprovingly as he babbles on about keeping Remy close while he's in town and how Remy is his bird; the Unexpectables need their own. It's not entirely clear whether he'll get his own room or has to be in the room Balfor shares with Helena... watching.
- On the way out of the ballroom, Remy is grabbing every wineglass he can down to deal with this shit.
- While heading out of town, Greckles spots a disguised dragon and brings it to the attention of the others. Panic doesn't care and Borky is yelling for them to hurry up from ten feet ahead.
- The poor goblin they find tied to a tanning frame, being nipped at by a pack of hungry wolves, gets blasted by a misfire from Panic's circlet and knocked out. Panic heals him up in the same turn, meaning said goblin wakes from nearly being killed by his rescuers to still being attacked by hungry wolves.Zito: What a fucking existence.
- Due to Pack Tactics, several of the wolves proceed to gang up on an increasingly frustrated Borky, forming what amounts to a conga line as they grab both his legs and an arm.
- When he finally gets free, Borky proceeds to pick a wolf up, Loki body slam it, hurl it, and then run after it to spin it around by the tail and slam it into the ground again. Monty feels really bad for the doggo.
- "You Insight the goblin. It's a goblin."
- Panic uses Phantasmal Force to create an illusion of a hunter's worst fears: His mother, nagging at him about his life choices with a decided Jewish accent. Like Ted before him, the hunter is psychologically destroyed by the illusion and spends the rest of the fight yelling at her to leave him alone.
- After his inevitable death, Panic brings his spirit back to ask questions. In a raspy, otherworldly voice he laments he should have gone to Bard College like his mom wanted.
- Task hides in a bag while the rest of the party poses as rangers, getting increasingly motion sick as Borky swerves around and swings the bag.
- To Taka's dismay, Goombah accidentally steals his "pocket Task" joke before he ever gets the chance to use it in combat.
- An especially bad girl voice from Panic leads to an impromptu repeat of the Teen Girl Squad.
- One poor sap decided to charge Greckles while he was trying to free a Wrymling, Greckles responds by nonchalantly opening the cage and sicking them on him.
- And then he ruins it by trying to hide behind the Wyrmling, which gives him a dirty look.
- A terrified ranger clings to Borky, who proceeds to suplex him into the ground and then suplexes him again through the window of a house. And inside the house, said ranger is immediately set upon by a frying pan-wielding Granny Gnome.
- Of the creatures Monsters Culling has captured, there's Anje, two white Wyrmlings... and the sentient shrub that Greckles befriended, along with the indications that it killed more members of Monater's Culling than the first two.
- Athena, an incredibly upbeat and flamboyant member of Monster's Culling, that Panic befriends while disguised.
- When they unleash a wave of angry pigs that sweep away the other hunters, Athena tries to leap into Panic's arms. Panic drops him flat on his ass.
- Panic converts the black dragon scale jacket Task paid for into an acid bomb to attack the hunter boss. As the trap detonates, Task asks why everyone breaks the stuff he buys for them.
Panic: [looking at his clothes] Hey.
- Tyrell manages to splash Panic with the acid, which triggers Hellish Rebuke, killing the boss in one turn.
[Tyrell bursts into flames then melts into goo]
- Anje emerges from his cage and casts a spell that hits everyone in combat, including the part. Rolling their saves, Taka, Gaijin, and Zito all get natural ones. Snake decides to refresh his page and let the "algorithm reset", but still gets a failing six.
- A wolf running at the party gets hit by a shock trap, leaving it confused and nervous. Gaijin asks if it got shocked; after a pause, Monty declares he has disadvantage on his next roll.
- A ranger tries to shoot Panic only to roll a natural one to hit, resulting in the arrow bouncing off a rock and directly into his own groin. All of the players groan in sympathy. Afterward he is referred to as "Dick".
- Tony reveals himself to be a barbarian... and misses nearly every hit he makes.
- The uselessness of the acid dagger continues as Greckles ends up accidently throwing it into the woods, later the shrub picks it up and cuts of one of it's own branches trying to swing it.
- Tiengo shows up and the guys are horrified when Monty has to ask how many attacks he can make. And then reveals he has a plus twelve to attack. And then he one-shots the chimera.
- It's a combination of the Christmas episode and a racing episode, what's not to like.
- Skinny wakes up the party. Panic, who Sleeps in the Nude, shrieks like a girl and yells for her to get out of his room. Skinny just casually suggests Panic should wear clothes to avoid catching cold.
- Helena apologizes to Tiengo for her previous outburst and makes a peace offering: A trashy romance novel. Avryman is absolutely tickled by the situation.
- During the following conversation, Tiengo starts reading the novel. Based on his reaction, it's smutty enough to shock Tiengo.
- Greckles and Task are given a sleigh by Scarbles and are warned to not press a big red button it. What happens when they do? They end up stopping suddenly and then, shooting a few hundred feet in the air, like something out of Wacky Races.
- When they learn the race requires two people per sleigh to promote love, the two burst into OOC laughter for a solid minute as Panic and Borky chat in-game.
- Panic tries to figure out how he can cheat by asking Helena about the rules only for Remy to zing him with a comment about how he must be unconfident about driving a sleigh if he needs to cheat.
- Task loves the race to the point that he stops responding to anything or anyone beyond cheering about how much fun it was.
- Borky captures a pigeon he names Lucky and ties it to the sleigh by a rope. After the race he gives it a kiss to celebrate, only for Monty to flatly tell him it's dead. Cue corpse shenanigans from everyone.
- Neragen comes running up to the party as Tarusk's egg begins to hatch, panicking like an expectant father. He ends up fainting and misses the hatching; Remy lets him fall flat on his face.
- Tarusk pops out looking almost identical and proves he's still himself by puking a bit of shell into Task's face.
- The party sets out on a series of horse constructs made of earth and stone. To the dismay of Borky and Panic, they don't have any saddles. Greckles, Remy, and Task are relieved that all of their "equipment" is internal.
- Remy is utterly baffled at the appearance of Lily, especially since, as far as he knows, they're ignoring a rescue mission to help a bear.
- Panic tries to kick a wolf when it runs to escape but misses, flipping over backwards and falling into the snow for a few points of cold damage.Monty: Has anyone been hurt?
Snake: I have. Both my body and my pride.
- Lily tries to speak to a Chipmunk, turns out that they speak jive.
- Lily ends up revealing that Ozzy would rather not see Panic again, leading to the guys making more fun of Panic's love life
- Doros uses Command to order a giant to flee. Not by talking, but with his face. And it works.
- While most the episode is serious, Lily's lack of knowledge leads to hilarity due to her having no clue about the revelations of this episode.Willow: [as the Silver King asks what the party knows] I don't know anything.
- Doros talks for the first time, announcing his intention to "kill a fucking dragon". Everyone is frightened and unable to stop him leaving... except for Lily who follows Doros and is just happy to be there.
- His grim advance is worrying until he walks into a wall and has to let Task take the lead.
- Faced with a difficult decision on how to proceed while facing hostile giants, Taka asks if they can make a save point.
- Scouting as a stoat, Lily is delighted to discover another stoat. Said stoat flatly tells her to keep away from his wall in a Brooklyn accent, earning delighted laughter at having discovered the "Zito stoat". Zito is honestly not sure whether to be offended.
- The Brooklyn accent recurs when they discover Korred, an extremely fast talking fae. Zito's frustration at apparently being on "Mount Midtown" only escalates when Greckles uses Mimicry to talk with the same accent. Zito declares that Task has taken so much mental damage he's now dead and that he and Gaijin are going to have "words".
- Zito imagines him as a black Furby-man with ridiculously thick, hair legs zipping down the road.
- Borky panics on realizing his cursed hag skull goblet was in Willow's tower and begins digging through the rubble. He doesn't find it, but he does find a pamphlet from the Romansion dealing with goliaths. When Borky innocently asks about it, Willow hastily departs, dragging an intrigued Doros with her.
- Panic learns the Unexpectables could soon earn the right to give out guild missions to low level adventurers. Taka proposes that rather than gold they could offer "exposure" as payment. When Monty admits that's acceptable, Zito declares that he's going to make damn sure these guys get their dues.
- Task is so exhausted he falls flat on the floor of his room short of his bed.
- To help with their hearing the Silver King decides to turn into a rabbit, and have Willow give him to them, but due to Willow not giving an explanation, Task contemplates skinning him. Then when the Silver King mentally speaks to Task the kobold is very freaked out, much to everyone else's confusion.
- Near the end Panic takes ends of reviving another jab at his love life. Connor lampshades that Panic is the only one of the group that has actually dated someone. (And no he doesn't count Greckles and Solly)
- The group are debating whether or not to build a temple for Log at the Sweet Dragon. Task argues that they should wait until Log returns from getting their cleric license. Cue Log chiming in from out of nowhere.Log: What are you guys talking about?
- Referring to Lily, Bosco accidentally says he thought Borky was in a relationship with a "little girl". Taka declares they need to scrub the entire sessions and start over.
- The main thing Borky tries to do during the winter? Give Scarbles a bath. He uses a crate with a string to capture her, gets scratched up, and discovers she's not nearly as green as she appeared.
- When they go to the wedding half of it is filled with Ienford's family that for some reason look almost exactly like him, while the other half has a crazy Gnoll family. The attending priest is baffled.
- Tarusk wears a bowtie over a spiked collar and has to be kept on a leash while Borky channels Donkey Kong and wears a necktie with his barbarian formal.
- The ceremony includes a vampire effigy in memory of the clan's history. The party members who don't know about said history speculate there's going to be a human sacrifice.
- The bouquet toss plays out like a cartoon football scene with all the gnolls and elves dog piling to get it. Meanwhile the men get tossed a battleaxe.
- During the cake cutting, the cake turns into a blob monster, being controlled by a Goblin Chef that was responsible for the giant slime incident. By the end of the fight the guy ends up losing an arm, an eye, and is traumatized by Panic.
- The goblin gets suplexed by Borky and his head gets stuck in the floor due to Task's ice. Cue Borky proudly declaring he planted a dumbass tree.
- Greckles spent the entire wedding on edge and rolling Perception checks because he just knew something would go wrong since he was the reason they were invited to the party.Greckles: [after the fight] Panic, is that cat phone ringing?
Panic: ...Is it?
Greckles: Because I fucking called it! [struts out]
- The Unexpectables and Edward are having a very tense conversation about Stillhavity and Orun... and Remy is sitting off to the side feeling utterly confused because the magical protection means all he hears the entire time is Charlie Brown adult talk.
- Despite the serious conversation with Raunfalt just a moment ago, Borky can't help but be giddy that he finally has a talking sword.
- While debating how to get the other orc tribes to form an aliance with them, Borky suggests marrying off Panic to them.
- The group explains their 3 day absence by claiming they went on a massive drinking bender. When Greckles protests that their story will sound implausible, Panic retorts that, having gone to a college full of bards, it is entirely possible.
- Taka tries to turn their story in The Hangover and constantly prompts Panic with new and increasingly improbable events. All the while Greckles is creating illusions of what happened.
- How can Remy's day get any worse? How about walking into the Sweet Dragon and seeing a very sick Willow playing chess with the Silver King?
- Apparently Tai Borpington sent the Silver King a message asking for help with Tarusk. The letter in question consisted of "Oh God please help me he's in the pantry I cannot stop him oh Gods please help."
- Remy decides to test the Silver King's son to see how well he can fight. Even before the first blow lands, the rest of the party is talking about how crazy it was that Remy got killed like he was Doug going against the Hulk.
- Remy and Log recall the first time they met.Log: You were the one with the big spoons on spring-loaded thingies!
Remy: They're called trebuchets and catapults, but yes.
Log: Hmmm, spoons.
- Greckles tries to smooth things over with Arlo, a moody teenage dragon, by offering him a beer despite him being underage. Everyone starts joking about Greckles being the cool uncle.
- During the recap of the previous episode, Monty states rather emphatically that the party did not meet with Edward. She also refers to Arlo as a "professional Remy ass-kicker".
- Zoltara expresses confusion about the nature of kickball as she's not sure what the ball did to deserve such treatment.
- Raghu proves to be Gaijin's worst nightmare: A person not only willing to listen to Borky's tales but actively wanting to hear them.
- Raghu follows Azra because to witness her great deeds. As Task deduces, she's just given up trying to get rid of him after doing everything up to, and including, tying him to a tree for vultures to eat and running away.
- Task sneaks Tarusk food while Zoltara isn't looking. Tarusk leaves with a very smug expression.
- The gang runs into Kiwi again. When he sees Greckles he runs to him in slow motion with tears in his eyes, like he's going to hug him, before jumping on him and strangling him for leaving him behind.Borky: [as Greckles is being choked] I can't wait to be in an enclosed space with this guy, it's gonna be great.
- Task rolls low on constitution and ends up being seasick for two days straight.
- Rufus (owner of the Romansion) Crumblebum's Love Boat passes by the ship and Borky begs the captain to weigh anchor.
- Monty unwittingly makes a innuendo when she says that the Love Boat will be "docking" in Alivast.
- Monty simulates speaking Aquan by gargling water.
- The group's fishing excursion: Greckles reels in a horrific-looking fish-man that has to be thrown back, Borky catches something big but the line snaps, Task catches a normal squid, Panic catches a rock (covered in mussles), and Remy gets a giant tuna. On the second attempt Borky nets a huge oyster the size of his hand.
- Just before rolling to catch, Gaijin warned Monty she'd been in trouble if he reeled in a horrid monster. He is not happy with the Sea Spawn.
- When Panic finds himself alone with a beautiful, naked women, who is undoubtedly a Dragon, he tries to insight her only to get a nat one, leading to the obvious joke on why that insight failed
- Panic falls overboard and Borky dives in to save him, forgetting that he can't swim either. Greckles has to dive in and save both idiots. Panic's just confused because he was doing fine.
- Everyone is incredulous about Panic's story of encountering a dragon (that turned into a beautiful woman and kissed him) the night before, especially Borky.
- Greckles drops 5 coins into the sea as an offering to the dragon (because the number 5 is good luck in the Eastern Isles), but a seagull snatches the 5th coin. Greckles hits it with a dart and the coin falls, right between the floorboards of the ship.
- Gaijin huffily asks why Monty had to ruin his schtick. She innocently replies it wasn't her, it was a bird.
- Bosco obviously feels sorry for the Orun clerics who are terrified and crying after being forced into combat by their paladins. Zito, who has prioritized targeting them, offers an alternate option to pity: Fuck 'em.
- Taka compares Task getting a double natural twenty on an area attack to shooting a tank's cannon.
- Greckles uses the Fart no Jutsu.
- Bosco makes an incorrect call due to his experience with 2.5 of DnD, leading to jokes about Old Man Bosco reminiscing about his youth.
Taka: Does that improve your AC?
- A latter quibble he has ends with her angrily telling Bosco that with the complexity of the fight she can't focus, can't remember the last turn, and is currently covered with Post-It notes.
- In light of the constant streams of successful saves by the enemy, successful hits, and high damage attacks Taka reminds Monty that they're allowed to roll 1s every now and then.
- Zenrio, full stop. Everything, from his laid-back, surfer-dude personality to his dolphin laugh, make him walking comedic gold.
- Crabbius the Mighty returns with a horde of crabs to help save the group. Task continues to be baffled by how well-known Crabbius is.
- Panic is slumped over, nearly catatonic, after learning his guitar was not recovered. When he receives his replacement instrument, a tuba, he slumps over even further.
- For the rest of the episode, Panic barely speaks and when he does it's a furious whisper. One can practically feel his simmering anger while the others playfully suggest his guitar might be used as a giant's toothpick.
- When Borky is done talking to Raunfalt, Monty explains he's going over the recent battle. Cue everyone thinking he's John Madden going over football plays, to which everyone begins impersonating with copious amounts of Brett Favre.
- The group is attacked by knife-wielding dolphins. One sports a pompadour made of coral, a badass scar over its eye, and the Scary Acid Dagger of Stab.
- After the fight, Greckles and Borky discuss how the dagger is a back-stabbing bastard on account if constantly being used to attack the party.
- Bosco jokingly notes the guys must really wish they had somebody there to tank all that damage. Snake idly responds they do: Panic, the damage magnet.
- Panic once again makes a dolphin's head explode via Vicious Mockery.
- Cinlas's reaction to the appearance of the party starts with anger but gradually veers into exasperation as they keep popping out of hiding one at a time.
- Zenrio fires a Ray of Frost at an enemy so he can make a "Chill out" pun. Said attack causes the target to break into two pieces and the pun comes out sounding rather strained.
- Borky wants to put a dolphin in a headlock but it escapes. He settles for grappling a triton so he and the rest of the group can beat it senseless while Zenrio cheers.
- The Triton they capture is a college bro named Francis who complains he was just interning as an animal handler, not knowing the rest of the group were bandits. He and Zenrio bond and trade useful information... all in aquan while the rest of the party is holding Francis at knife point.
- Once they're finally done talking, Borky just hucks Francis into the water. Without untying him. They figure he'll be fine since he can breathe underwater.
- While hiding out in the Pleasures Adrift, Zenrio becomes enamoured with feeling the velvet carpeting, having never seen it before.
- The group realizing that they've basically brought Zenrio, a teenager, to a brothel. (It's just so they can hide there, but still.)
- Zeus makes a gesture that obviously is referring to sex, but the innocent Zenrio interprets it as "exploring caves". Zenrio says that he hopes he can go spelunking one day, and Zeus mentions that there is a Triton escort if he's interested.Zenrio: Look, man, all I wanna do is just feel some carpet, okay?
- Zeus, a golaith escort, propositions Panic for sex. Panic is later seen walking funny for the rest of the day. Best of all is how fitting the episode number is for this.
- The group winds up escaping in a crab mech that they don't know how to use, and the instructions are in Dwarven (which none of them know how to read). This means they have to figure out what the buttons do by trial and error. Hilarity, obviously, ensues.
- Kiwi coming out of nowhere and smacking an Orun cleric (Audrey) with a frying pan. This might have been helpful, had she not been trying to free Remy in the first place.
- Kiwi: When I get stressed I do illegal things!
- One of the weapons on the crab mech releases a swarm of crabs, and one lobster.
- Task, having gone slightly crazy from exhaustion, draws a face on a rock and makes it his friend.
- Grull, the big intimidating tanarukk, who keeps trying to ship Remy and Audrey together. He treats their interactions like he's watching a soap opera.
- Made even better in Episode 75, where Remy puts the kibosh on him ever ending up with Audrey. Grull proceeds to turn away, bite his finger, and change the subject to getting back to the war room while holding back tears.
- The dramatic reveal of Darkus being the leader of the dragon cult is somewhat undercut by Zenrio having no idea who Darkus is.
- One of the Orun archers (later named Tom) manages to miss every single shot. The group jokes about how he's going to get his pay docked, and even one of the rescued clerics comments on his terrible aim.
- Greckles (who is disguised as an Orun cleric) tries to stay in character while saving the other clerics, complete with feminine voice. When one of the clerics tells him to drop the act, he immediately switches back to his normal, much deeper voice.
- After they return to the orc camp, Gruul asks Panic which Cleric (Excluding Audrey) he would be interested in, when Panic choses Honore. Monty decides to skip past the LesYay Implications and flat out state that she's gay, and already in a relationship with Kendra, leading to a very quick verbal backspace on Panic's part.
- Zenrio attempts to cheer up the clerics by giving them apples (because an apple a day keeps the in-doctrination away) but since he can't find any apples he gives them strawberries instead.
- While Grull is showing Remy his collection of perfume bottles he mentions that he wished they didn't taste so bitter. He's been drinking the perfume.
- The group's plan for their assault on the Orun camp, which involves turning Kiwi and Borky into twin brontosauruses (possibly dropping them on top of the leader's tent) and unleashing a jar of bees.
- The sheer audacity of Panic's idea: combine his Dimension Door with Zenrio's Polymorph to drop a dinosaur (a polymorphed Kiwi) on their sorcerer. Their name for the plan: the Kiwi Bomb.
- All the group get culturally significant war-paint for their upcoming fight: Red for Borky for fury, Blue for Remy for might, Yellow for Task and Greckles for Precision, Orange for Panic for survival, Black for Honore and Kendra for Freedom...and Zenrio used the paint to make himself look like a cat.
- Kiwi, despite being significantly underleveled and armed only with a frying pan, manages to succeed on all his attacks, running up the highest body count of anyone in the party.
- Zenrio casts suggestion on Tom, the same mercenary that couldn't hit anyone before, making him look even more incompetent to his colleague.
- When Task and Kiwi are turned into dinosaurs Task's icon is a realistic looking dinosaur, and Kiwi gets a cartoonish drawing of a dinosaur.
- The Kiwi Bomb is implemented and actually works, killing the enemy's sorcerer outright and placing them well to attack the boss.
- Grull has never seen horses before, so he refers to them as weird dogs.
- Maria (the timid cleric) gets completely wasted. At one point she tries to enter the grouse and has to be pulled away.
- During the Grouse, Borky challenges the strongest warrior present: Kiwi.
- Thanks to a pep-talk from Zenrio, Tom decides to join the orcs and become their intern.
- Zenrio gets a set of paints from Frivayne, and Octopimp decides to draw a very detailed, almost hyper-realistic, painting of a dragon in MS Paint.
- It turns out the paints are magic, and combined with Zenrio's magic it brings the 2D dragon to life.
- While on the way to Alivast, Lionel insists that Hellina would be happy to see him, due to being her paladin, apparently missing the memo that five out of the seven clerics he previously worked with hated their paladins. The entire group then laughs at that notion.
- While waiting for Doros to show up, Taka begins to make Mr. X jokes about him, to Montys exasperation.
- A slip of the tongue from Gaijin causes him to say "The United Clergy of Orgy"
- When the group finally returns to the Sweet Dragon Zenrio almost immediately gets marked as an idiot by Helga, and replaces Borky, as Tais favorite person.
- Zenrio orders a glass of saltwater from Helga, and immediately dumps it all over himself (and the floor) because he was feeling homesick.
- Aparently Tarusk is now in daycare, and is doing quite well...... except for the fact that he cant write, and he eats all the crayons.
- While showing Zenrio and Kiwi the bathhouse, Borky decides to slam dunk Kiwi into the bath.
- A You Tuber named Patrick said it best "scarbles dug so deep she struck ghost", meaning,as scarbles's tunnels got so deep she found ghosts
- When Greckles and Remy both miserably fail a perception check, Monty just flat out states that the two of them suck.
- While the group was gone, Scarbles has been breeding giant rats "just to see if she could do it".
- Zen meets Log, and causes him to enter Blue Screen Mode by insisting that he has a heart. While the little guy is comatose, Zen takes the opportunity to copy his drawing of Oreyara- with his magic paint. All the players gleefully agree this is a terrible idea.
- At the end of the session, Bosco complains on how much more dignified Zenrios departure from the show was compared to Remys (Zenrio was picked up to be trained by Ios, an Asimar, descended from the god of magic, while Remy was forced to read a cringy love letter to his commanders wife.)
- Zenrio decides to use his magic paint to give the group one final gift. What did he draw? Tubbs, to the complete exasperation of everyone except Taka.
- They decide to name it Zenisokay (because of the message around it's neck "Zen is okay!")
- Borky tries to pick up Zenisokay, and immediately throws his back out trying to lift the much denser and heavier pigeon.
- Edward mentions Omnimaw, causing one of the strings on Panic's guitar to break. Borky turns this into a Running Gag.
- Kiwi meets Robin and immediately falls head-over-heels in love with her. Unfortunately he's so nervous that he can only say his name over and over.
- Panic gives Scarlet the tuba he got from Zenrio's parents. She discovers that when she plays it, fish come flying out of the tuba. She gleefully runs around the schoolyard shooting fish everywhere.
- At one point she plays a high note and a squid comes flying out.
- Panic orders a mystery drink called the "Wild Mage". It turns out to be a liter of alcohol served in a fish bowl. When he's about halfway done with it a server comes along and give him a refill.
- While Task is having a heart-to-heart with a very drunk Doros, the goliath picks Task up and hugs him like a teddy bear.
- Doros then spontaneously decides to go propose to Willow and leaves immediately. Greckles later finds him at the Sweet Dragon, having accidentally passed out on top of Willow when he came to the door.
- Brorc gets completely drunk as well, and becomes much more open and talkative than usual. He bad-mouths his racist boss and gushes about how much he loves Solly.
- Borky can't help but mention Omnimaw again, and actually loses his voice for saying the name too many times.
- After returning home very late from the romansion, Greckles sees Borky sneaking back downstairs to get some milk. Borky declares "I NEED THIS FOR MY BONES!" (referring to the bone dislocating incident from that morning)
- While the two are arguing about going back to bed, a door suddenly slams open. Enter Helga, wearing a face mask and curlers, looking absolutely furious about being woken up. Greckles flees in fear and Borky just starts chugging milk in a panic.
- Continuing from last episode, Monty begins with a fitting intro.Monty: When last we left our heroes, Borky died.
- It's later revealed that Helga grabbed Borky by the ankles, dragged him up the stairs (making sure he hit his head on every step), and hurled him into his room.
- The following morning, Borky has no memory of the encounter. All he can remember is dreaming that he drank a magic potion (milk) and fought a demon(Helga).
- Having spent the night at the Sweet Dragon, Brorc wakes up very confused, having apparently gotten black-out drunk half-way through the previous evening.
- Ranfault and Bright (who was previously Borky's sword) meet for the first time and immediately start insulting and trying to one-up each other. Their entire exchange takes place in Borky's mind, while everyone else just stands there in awkward silence.
- Seeing that Willow has both her arms in slings (thanks to Doros), Borky leaves the room and returns with two large jugs of milk, claiming that it's the only way to heal her bones.
Borky: Ah, this is what big mood is.Task: *slaps Doros' back* This baby can fit so much big mood.Borky: Okay, before we do anything, we have to ask Willow if we can take him out of the doghouse.
- Upon leaving the Sweet Dragon, the group sees Doros lying down with his head inside Tarusk's doghouse. Task has to call him by his real name (Doroski) like Doros' mother would to snap him out of it.
- While Remy and Greckles are finishing up a rather serious conversation, a random dwarf suddenly butts in and tries to sell them some armor.
- Task befriends some blue kobolds working at the docks, who happen to be named Fishgut and Trashfire. The reason for this is because their clutch was dying from a plague, they would give the hatchlings stupid names so they wouldn't get too attached. When asked why they didn't just change their names, the kobolds say it grew on them.
- Earlier, when Task was watching the kobolds, a seagull landed on his head. He grabbed the seagull and yeeted it into the ocean.
- Monty admits that, due to the way Log is built as an NPC, even she can't tell what abilities he has.
- After lots of preparation to deal with the ghosts under the Sweet Dragon, it's revealed that the ghosts were just an illusion to protect an underground door. Monty even says that she couldn't wait to reveal it, to everyone's exasperation.
- The group wears formal attire to the tribunal, and Panic wears a three-piece suit made of skin-tight black leather.
- A council member mentions encountering Frivayne, and Panic rolls insight to see what kind of relationship they had.Monty: Bow-chica-wow-wow.
- When a council member argues against the group getting to keep the money and magical items obtained from the Orun Clergy, a tiefling council member has this retort:
- Borky tries to prank Greckles using his newly acquired Cloak of Disguise Self to make himself look like Tiengo. Panic immediately sics Waffles on him, who proceeds to uppercut Borky and tackle him to the ground. Monty even puts on some goofy banjo music in the background to further cement the chaos.Remy: Borky, why are you like this?
- Hellina reveals that she still has no idea what species/race Doros is despite working for him for nearly half a year because she was too afraid to ask.
- The teleporter to Tracadia misfires and drops the group from several feet in the air into a random alley. They are immediately set upon by a gang. Not one minute into arriving in a new land and they're already getting attacked.
- Panic uses Dimension Door to teleport to the ground mid-fall. Everyone imagines him casually walking out of the Dimension Door sipping a mug of coffee.
- Greckles manages to end the encounter prematurely by unintentionally making the thugs think he's a were-raven.
- Rat, the group's newest companion, claims to be friends with everyone in town. In reality, most of the townsfolk react with exasperation, due to the many incidents Rat's caused in the past. This includes trespassing and accidentally starting a bar fight.
- While travelling by carriage, the group stops to see a raven dancing in the middle of the road. A moment later they notice several ravens perched on the carriage, and two of them exiting the carriage with some of their money.
- Rat's Fairy Fire makes one of the werewolves glow like a sparkly, neon-orange disco ball.
- Borky kicks open the carriage door shouting "some-BODY!"
- To distract any other werewolves, the group decides to light their now destroyed carriage on fire. Borky treats it like a Viking funeral for the carriage (and his money).
- Greckles manages to get a nat 20 in a card game against a vampire countess.
- Later, said countess casually mentions she would have killed anyone who cheated at the game. Greckles breaks out in a sweat.
- The episode ends with a massive bar fight, involving at least half a dozen goliaths. Highlights include:
- Rat gets grabbed by a goliath and nearly headbutted. He responds by giving the goliath a kiss on the cheek.
- Panic avoids the fight entirely by casting Suggestion on one of the goliaths and having him carry him through the crowd to the door.
- Task gets grabbed by the ears and used as a make-shift weapon by a goliath that mistook him for a bottle. One intimidation check later and the goliath politely sets Task back down.
- One of the goliaths is a druid, so they turn into a stag and start trampling people. Later, two dwarves manage to tie them up and elbow drop them back to normal.
- A gnome rips off his shirt and tries to body-check Task. Task casually side-steps and clotheslines the gnome.
- A halfling hits Greckles in the butt with a dart, causing Greckles to jump up, hit a chandelier, and crash back down into a table.
- Borky nat 20s hitting one goliath with a chair and suplexes another into the ground. A couple dwarves even tap him out.
- One guy just tries to sneak out with a few bottles of wine.
- Panic manages to apprehend the guy they were after by convincing everyone to dog-pile on him with the promise of free booze. And then the guards show up and Panic is face-to-face with the captain.
- The session starts with the party thrown into the drunk tank with the rest of the participants in the bar brawl from the previous session, complete with Panic repeatedly yelling "I'm the victim here!"
- Borky tries to tell the Avun Paladins at the local jail to be careful with Raunfault, telling them that if they handle the weapon carelessly, they'll be transported to Raunfault's castle and have to deal with an angry Giant king. Taka proceeds to roll a natural 1 on his Persuasion check and the guards mark Borky down as "super drunk."
- Task stops a goliath from breaking out of jail by throwing a crowbar at his head that activates Ensnaring Strike.
- Two words: "Weeaboo Dwarves".
- Borky puts a hand on Task and Greckles so they won't try to kill Pilchard. When Panic mentions that Pilchard's past mistake involved Solly, Borky puts two hands on Greckles.
- A group of crows surrounds the party and everyone instinctively holds onto their wallets (especially Borky).
- The running gag of the crows shouting movie spoilers.
- Panic casts Shatter on one of the crow monsters, and hits Borky as well. Borky gives Panic a shakey thumbs up from where he is lying on the ground.
- While running from werewolves, Task runs on all fours to move faster. Borky, not wanting to be outdone, does the same.
- One of the soldiers is a young lady who seems a little too excited to use the cannons. She even fires one from the back of a moving wagon.
- Captain Luigi, whose over-the-top accent and mustache seem suspiciously familiar. Later, when he gets turned into a werewolf, it still has his mustache.
- While in this form he completely misses his attack on his former allies before one of his men knock him unconscious. Everyone even pauses awkwardly after he misses.
- Rat keeps rolling to see how attractive everyone is so he can flirt with them. He succeeds flirting with a goliath named Clay, but rolls a Nat 1 on the date and accidentally falls into the campfire. Luckily, Clay is just as awkward as he is, so it ends up going relatively well.
- Borky realizes the ship he came to Alivast on was run by vampire pirates. Taka decides to retroactively give them obvious vampire names like Captain Feratu.
- Solomon, a quirky, fast-talking wizard, makes several wild deductions about Task upon meeting him.Solomon: "You're allergic to peanuts, and your mother's name was Edith!"Task: "What the fuck is a peanut, and what is an Edith?"
- Hearing the revelation that Orun paladins are just stealing power from Orun, Panic declares "Wait a minute, all the paladins are warlocks!"
- One of the components for Solomon's teleportation spell is "horse wax".
- Panic gets bitten by a vampire during the first combat encounter, immediately leading to jokes that Panic is Too Kinky to Torture.Panic: Where I come from, this is considered foreplay.
- Courtney, the soldier obsessed with cannons, sets up another cannon to fight the vampires with. Taka makes the obvious reference, but under protest.Taka: I gave it up man, I can't... bitcheslovecannons.
- The last remaining vampire attempts to flee, immediately provoking opportunity attacks from Task, Panic, Rat and Pilchard, who all proceed to immediately and satisfyingly beat him into paste. To make it better, everyone headcanons that it's just the beatdown from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5.
- During the chase sequence, Pilchard picks up a crossbow and attempts to shoot at the pursuing werewolves. He hits every shot he fires and does quite a bit of damage, but each time drunkenly yells that he missed.
- One of the werewolves attempts to attack one of the horses leading the carriage and rolls a natural one. He is then run over by the cart.Panic: We hit a dog.Pilchard: Don't stop, we don't have insurance!
- Rat repeatedly flirting with Clay during the fight and chase scenes, much to Panic's annoyance.
- The party manages to get back to Barcelette and find that Captain Luigi has a brother named Mario.Monty: You guys did this to me.
- Pilchard is still passed out drunk from the previous night of fighting werewolves and vampires, so Borky simply drags him by his feet, hitting his head on each individual step as Borky goes up a flight of stairs.
- Upon returning to Alivast and getting back to the Sweet Dragon, the party, having been thoroughly traumatized by their adventures in Tracadia, immediately greet Helga with happiness and relief. She then pulls a crossbow on them and demands to know who they are and what they did with the Unexpectables.
- The report from the mercenaries the group hired to track down the smugglers: They tracked the smugglers to the area beneath the Sweet Dragon (where the giant door and fake ghosts were), fought a giant dwarf statue, fought the leader of the smugglers, and handcuffed his arm to his dick.
- Task is so exhausted from the previous day that he pours himself a mug of coffee, then drinks out of the pot. Later, when he's checking the mail, the pseudo dragons swarm him and drink out of his mug.
- In a letter from the Silver King, he promises to pay for any damages that Arlo causes. The group immediately starts thinking of ways they can destroy the Sweet Dragon and make it look like Arlo's fault, like leaving the fridge open so it looks like someone used ice breath. It's like trying to commit insurance fraud, but with dragons.
- The party decides to visit Log's new temple in their courtyard, in which he is just finishing up a sermon while wearing the vestments that Borky had Nines make for him before the Tracadia trip. Adorably, Nines completely screwed up on the size, resulting in Log wearing priestly robes that are about five sizes too big and look like he's wearing an oversized sweater.
- Log's temple to Oreyara has finally been built and is beautiful... and it's also right next to Hassrad's shack, who was apparently completely oblivious the the gaggle of dwarves doing heavy construction work right next to his house for the better part of two days.
- And the thing Hassrad's pissed about? That they may have found and moved his "stash", the nature of which he refuses to elaborate on.
- It turns out his stash was just a bag of dead rats and not some kind of contraband as one might assume. When he says "Do I look like a thief?" in response, everyone answers "Yes", including people who aren't even there.
- After his discussion with the party he decides to just go back to sleep, and does so under a blanket of snakes that have all cross-hatched themselves together to make a single sheet. We wish we were kidding.
- On their way up to the High District to deliver Pilchard to Solly, the party stops at a fruit stand and gets some watermelon, as well as a coconut (which Borky dubs a "difficult watermelon") because he was curious about what it tasted like. Cue Borky failing five strength checks in a row while trying to bite through its husk (with none of the checks going higher than 10 to boot)! Panic several times offers to help Borky open it up, but after the first three failed checks it has become a matter of personal pride that he bite through it himself.Task: This is his mountain to climb.
- In a moment of perfect comedic timing, Borky finally cracks it open while they are meeting Solly, so he gets coconut water all over the temple floor.
- A magic eating creature that was being held in the smugglers den escapes and runs rampant inside the Sweet Dragon. Panic eventually tames it by feeding it his spell slots (which he compare to breast feeding for some reason).
- Borky, who was grappling the creature, accidentally gets locked in the cage with it and the guards have to let him out.
- Gaijin refers to Orun as "Sun Daddy", and promptly gets kicked off the podcast.
- In a later episode he calls Orun "Sun-pai", with similar reactions.
- Averyman is annoyed by Tiengo's current obsession with trashy romance novels, mostly because it has made Tiengo get more "creative" in the bedroom.
- While going through the druidic district, Task encounters a human-sized pigeon with the body of a muscular man. Later, it flies away by flapping its muscular arms.
- The fanbase sets to creating fanart immediately, which mostly resembles All Might with feathers and a beak.
- Willow wants Doros to move in, so Borky tells him the house rules, namely that they only allow a "safe amount of crime". Keep in mind he's saying this to Doros. A guard captain.
- Remy returns, and is greeted by a bone-crushing hug from Borky.
- After being beaten unconscious by Azra Sahar, then being kidnapped by a gargoyle and subsequently hiring him for the tavern, how does Task explain his disappearance to his worried friends?Task: "I got us a night guard, I'm going to bed."
- To help Task deal with his crown devil helmet, Doros takes him to what can only be described as a "murder house" located in a bad part of town. (There are even wagons on cinder blocks outside.) Doros is completely nonchalant about all this the entire time.
- Later, Doros accidentally breaks one of the crossbows inside the house and desperately tries to cover it up.
- Scarlet misheard some of the adults talking about Omnimaw, so later she asks Panic if he can make "Omelettemaw" fix the music.
- The guys realize that this is actually a good way to refer to Omnimaw without invoking the curse. This leads to people using the name "Omelettemaw" in serious conversations later on.
- The fact that the guys are actually kind of relieved to see Tiengo was the one who found Scarlet.
- Panic ruins a sweet moment with Scarlet by trying to do a "horn swear" and accidentally locking up their horns.
- The episode was slightly delayed due to construction work south of Monty and Taka's house accidentally severing an internet cable. Taka jokes before the episode starts in earnest that the workers cut the lines and then ten minutes later someone who looks like they were an extra in Fury Road showed up to politely ask them to put it back.
- Borky sees multiple skeletons and does a Homer Simpson scream. Taka doesn't do it, but just reminds people that it did it.
- During their night watch, everyone keeps getting distracted by how gross Borky smells. Later it turns out the smell wasn't even coming from Borky, they just assumed it was.
- The rest of the group is frustrated that they can't help Borky during his one-on-one fight, so Taka suggests that they think of what Yugi's friends would do in this situation.
- Somewhat meta, but just how easily they got the double-tusk orcs to join them compared to everything they went through for Grull's tribe. (Almost dying at sea, the long trek back to find the orcs, and having to lead an assault on a heavily fortified Orun Clergy encampment VS healing Stir Viletusk and killing one monster.)
Remy and the Mercz:: The Lost Sliver
- Remy drops a bag of gold on the table to pay the mercenaries. Cliff bites a coin to check if it's real, and this eventually descends into the entire group of mercs eating the coins to "share the experience". The entire gag ends with this:Skarbles: Can I taste the gold too?
- Remy dealing with a group that's just as ridiculous as the Unexpectables, if not more so. You can just feel his exasperation.
- Pardner, despite being the ranger of the group, keeps failing miserably at tracking. At one point while trying to track a scent he just declares it "smells like forest".
- On the other hand, his familiar Luigi the raptor gets consistently high rolls and succeeds nearly all of his attacks.
- Cliff gets grabbed by a wyvern, but he manages to Suggest it to put him down and grab one of the dragon cultists. The wyvern then flies off into the sunset with the screaming cultist in tow.
- Vlad manages to deal some massive damage to a green dragon using what is essentially an EXPLODING FART CLOUD!
- The guys spend most of the first fight with squid monsters attached to their faces.
- A few other fun moments of the aforementioned fight include:
- Borky getting a nat 1 to hit his facehugger, causing raunfalt to get stuck in a stalagmite. Upon being pulled out afterwards, it causes a cieling collapse due to rolling just shy of a 25.
- Greckles performing a Bunshin-no-Jutsu with all the flair of a naruto episode.
- Panic sining a paraphrased "Set Fire to The Rain" by Adele after killing his.
- And Borky revealing that the facehugger gave him his first kiss. Borky spends some time afterwards in hysterics over losing his innocence.
- Task runs down a hall to get away from some enemies, only to spot a group of drow and a freaking draegloth (half-Drow, half-demon). He immediately runs in the other direction.
- Task uses animal messenger on a giant isopod, but due to its slow movement speed it takes nearly two hours to climb up a giant mushroom. He names it Orby.
- Later, he doesn't have time to go back and get Orby, so he just picks up another isopod and names it Orby 2.
- Panic ends up befriending a hulking monstrosity called a Gray Render (later named Clifford). Greckles first sees it spooning with Panic while he's asleep. During Panic's watch it brings him a big grub to eat, which is unsurprisingly disgusting.
- The Drow put Greckles and Task asleep for a good portion of the middle rounds of the fight, and during said fight a Neothelid suddenly bursts from the ground and eats the leader and then half the group. When they're woken up, they're absolutely flabbergasted by everything going on.Borky: (grabbing Tasks's sleeping form and shaking him violently) WAKE UP! GRABABRUSHANDPUTONALITTLEMAKEUP!
- For much of the fight, Clifford and the Demonic Drow spend most of their fight encased in webbing, sitting there unable to do much. Taka likens them to Beavis and Butthead.
- Finally gaining some ground, Panic comes up with an admittedly genius idea to direct the Neothelid away from the group using thaumaturgy and to direct some of the drow over by where he used the spell. And it immediately becomes funny when he does it to nearly every drow just to be petty.
- The gang get abducted by Svirfneblin. And promptly everyone attempts and fails to say the word "Svirfneblin" over and over and over again.
- When Panic finally casts Tongues once they're presented before the Deep Gnome king, it's revealed he's an Ed Wynn voiced, goofy dimwit who has no concept of the surface that the crew take a liking to almost immediately.Distortion Devil: I wanna Dimension Door to the surface and blow this guys fucking mind.
- Panic tries to explain to the king what the "voice stealer" really is:Panic: She's a tiefling.Deep Gnome King: Why would you fling teeth? Such a waste.
- Orby returns unharmed to Task as he's brought into the throne room...because the Svirfneblin thought he was challenging for the throne with the message "Orby Rulez".
- Because trees are so rare underground, things like paper are extremely valuable. The guys go around flaunting pieces of paper like they were hundred dollar bills.
- While trying to charter a dragonfly, Panic has to interrupt two gnomes who are having an intense argument over mud.
- Task gets a critical hit on a bulette by shooting it directly in its butthole.
- The group has to sneak pass a gazer that's busy shooting beams at two petrified drow and chuckling to itself. Borky rolls a nat 20 and just casually walks past it.
- Later, the gazer actually spots Borky, but he manages to convince it to go away by simply pointing in the other direction. Since only Borky saw it, he decides not to mention this encounter to anyone until much later.
- Borky gets hit with confusion and imagines Gripples, Ranfault, Bright, and the voice of the dwarf from the crab mech tutorial all arguing inside his head.
- The group falls asleep to the soothing sounds of the cave. Cue the players making horrible monster noises and mimicking someone being eaten by a monster.
- Task was so terrified of the gazers, but they're so weak and stupid that the group takes both down with little effort.
- One gazer sees Task round the corner, it screams and tries to run, Task grabs it with his whip and beats it into submission.
- The gazers' stupid, immature antics, such as having laser fights with each other and being easily tricked, lead to them being compared to Beavis And Butthead.
- Task falls down a hole and finds Jerry the flumph, and he's just a loud as we remember!Task: Do you have a dial that's, like, below 11?Jerry: WHAT'S 11?Gaijin (as Jerry): WHAT'S A DIAL?
Borky: If Task were still here, I know what he would say. He'd sayTask: Borky, shut up, I'm right here.Borky: *shrieks*
- While Task and Jerry are talking, Borky is convinced that Task is dead and holds a funeral for him.
- The Great Eyed One, a massive, terrifying beholder, whose name is Bob. To top it off, he's super friendly and has a ridiculous voice that sounds like he's orgasming with every sentence.
- Bob the beholder demands the group undergo a trial before he will assist them, to prove they are favored by Orun. This requires going into a room with a "sacred comet" that fell from the surface into the Underdark and allowing themselves to be judged by it. The comet in question? Tubbs the pigeon.
- Better yet, he now technically counts as a sacred relic of Orun. The guys are revered for being able to "contain his glory".
- Borky is so shocked by this that he immediately faints. When he wakes up, he is briefly convinced that everything up to this point was a crazy dream.
- In the ceiling is a pigeon shaped hole with light shining down through it, meaning Tubbs managed to crash through the street and fall all the way down into the Underdark. When questioned how this is physically possible, Monty just declares "It's a magic pigeon, so I don't know what the fuck to tell you!"
- Normally, mindflayers are one of the most dangerous and evil races in all of D&D. Task has no knowledge of this fact, so he casually walks up to a lone mindflayer named Thadus to ask him for help making a teleportation circle. It turns out that Thadus is actually really introverted and surprisingly relatable.
Remy and the Mercz: The Cliff Hammer
- Remy's mother recives a letter from another of Taylor's weird pigeons, this one's described as "long and noodley with three legs".
- As Remy is leaving, he briefly sees Willow coming in for a magic lesson.Willow: Hopefully nothing explodes this time.Remy: W-wait, I'm sorry, what?!
- Bosco is salty that this time around he has to pay the Mercz out of his own personal funds. He considers leaving them behind just to save money.
- Remy gives Luigi the raptor some food scraps wrapped in cheesecloth. Unsurprisingly, he eats the cheesecloth. He really is this group's Tarusk.
- Remy accidentally gets grabbed by the Mouthless One's tentacles, but instead of attacking him they just gently pat him on the head.
- Any time that Euphoria gets to act like a real mother to Panic, from motherly scolding to meeting her son's friends. Doubles with heartwarming, since this is the first time she's ever been able to do this, period.
- At one point, Euphoria mentions that her and Panic's father never got the chance to marry before Panic was born. Borky's response?Borky: That's gotta hurt like a bastard.
- Cue the entire group outside of the game instantly scolding Taka.
- While Panic and Euphoria are finishing their conversation, hard cut to Task, Greckles, and Borky in a huddle discussing Euphoria's neck mouth. They argue how it could logistically function, and whether Panic will grow a second mouth somewhere on his body. Here's the whole exchange.
- The method to heal Omnimaw: Panic and Euphoria have to play their instruments so loud that the combined noise from them and the music demons will wake Omnimaw from his comatose state. They literally have to save him with The Power of Rock.
- On the way back to Omnimaw, Panic tells Euphoria about the time he cheated at the dwarven drinking contest and won. Euphoria pretends to be disappointed by this, only to say under her breath how proud she is of his trick.
Episode 100 Part 1
- Doros is so worried about Willow's safety that he has her covered head-to-toe in floaties so she won't drown. She keeps falling over and getting carried away by the tide.
- Any time someone tires to alert Helga to the current shenanigans, she holds up a finger and says "Shh, Vacation Helga."
- Task has a cooler with him, and he warns everyone that he will use what's inside it if anyone disturbs his relaxation time. It turns out to be a hand crossbow and some ice-cold water balloons, which he fires at anyone who annoys him.
- He shows it to Borky, only to fire a balloon at Helga and make it look like Borky shot it. Helga grabs the balloon in mid-air and turns to them with glowing red eyes.
- Panic and Scarbles bury Hassarad in the sand, and Panic makes him look like a mermaid complete with sand boobs.
- Borky and Doros take turns tossing people into the ocean as hard as they can. Borky throws Log, only to realize that Log can't float. Borky freaks out and think's he's dead, only for Tai Borpington to fish him back up.
- Remy tells Arlo and Zoltara that they can't turn into their dragon forms or they might cause trouble. Arlo responds by doing just that, grabbing Remy with his claws, and dropping Remy into the ocean.
- The dragons continue flying and dropping people in at their request. When Arlo drops Doros in, he creates a tidal wave that covers the whole beach. Panic shields Helga from the wave so as not to piss her off, and she doesn't even look up from he book.
- Task asks Neragen how things went with Athena. Neragen went to meet her at the temple, immediately tripped over himself, said "Looks like I'm an accident waiting to happen, and I just happened to you!", and ran out of the temple in shame.
- Due to bad weather knocking out Monty's power the episode has to be cut short. But rather than ending early, the guys decide to have Unexpectables Karaoke! Highlights include:
Helga: Borky, get off of that!Borky: No! I want to be up here! I legally own one-quarter of this place!
- Remy referencing all the "Memus Corbeau" fanart by singing the He-Man "What's Going On?" song. Later, he does a wonderful rendition of "Sweet Transvestite".
- Borky singing "Kiss from a Rose".
- Panic sings a soulful ballad entitled "Orgasm Equals Love".
- Helga sings "I've No More Fucks to Give", but changes some of the lyrics to be about Borky.
- Task sings this song but replaces the word "penis" with various kazoo sound effects.
- They end with all of them (minus Panic whose microphone was turned off) singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", but it takes them three tries to get it going due to not syncing up and singing over one another.
Episode 100 Part 2
- Everyone divides up into teams to try smashing a watermelon open while blindfolded.
- Willow runs in the wrong direction towards the ocean and Doros has to chase after her.
- Like with most competitions, Panic cheats on his turn. He sabotages the others with Confusion and casts Shatter on the watermelon. Everyone responds by pelting him with water balloons.
- The Sweet Dragon crew coming to the rescue on a steam boat built by Iggy. It's powered by Scarbles and Tarusk running in giant hamster wheels to move the paddles.
- Borky gets a manticore in a headlock, shoves it's face into the paddle of Iggy's steam boat, and holds it there while Tarusk speeds up the wheel.
- The manticore then moves so that Borky gets slapped by the paddles too.
- What happens when Log sees one of the pirates sneaking up on Borky with a knife.Log: Wait a minute, that's illegal! *obliterates the pirate with a massive Guiding Bolt*
- Borky insisting that everyone talk about their hopes and dreams before fighting the horde of discord devils.
- After getting his old guitar splintered in the last episode, Panic shows off his new one made from Lys' mask. Borky makes a good point about how cool it looks.Borky: My god. Someone is totally gonna steal that from you.
Panic: Ah, holy shit! THAT'S AWESOME!
- This actually leads Panic to realize that the guitar is a Pact Weapon, so he can just will it back into his hands whenever he wants.
- The guys have a lot of trouble fighting a werebear. At one point Borky tries to suplex it, but the bear just suplexes him back.
Zito: 4 points of Mom Damage.
- The werebear turns out to be Halfden, who is surprisingly jolly given the circumstances.
- At one point the werebear does two palmstrikes to Borky, making the guys wonder if it's somehow a Monk.
- Euphoria actually manages to use Vicious Mockery to scold the bear into behaving for a second for max damage.
- The fact that Monty clearly set up the werebats and werebear to trick the guys into thinking they were teleported to Tricadia, and it worked perfectly.
Borky: There's sun in the sky, Panic!(Taka: Is there sun in the sky?)(Monty: Yeah, there is. It's beaming down.)Borky: Look! Look at all this light and sun and happiness! We cannot be there!
- The guys freak out when they realize they might be back in Tricadia, and desperately try to rationalize that they aren't.
Euphoria: Why? Tricadia is so nice.Borky: What the hell?! Have you been here?!
- Euphoria on the other hand is actually confused why the guys are worried.
- Borky, fighting a flying enemy and fresh out of javelins, restorts to throwing rocks:Taka: Yeet! (Rolls a natural 1)Monty: You said yeet! It's yeet for distance, Kobe for accuracy!
- Sure enough, on his next turn he yells Kobe instead and hits.
- After learning that the guys have been gone for five months, and were presumed dead, ITH drops all of their elaborate ways of speaking and says an embarrassed sorry, whenever it's brought up.
- While Panic and Hellina are having their reunion, Borky decides to be a mood killer, and point out that Panic's mom is standing right next to them.
- Remy gets reintroduced chasing down former thief Bonray trying to make a break for it on her griffon.
- When Ed Bosco get's reintroduced, Taka and Zito immediately makes Hazbin Hotel references, to Ed's annoyance.
- Speaking of Remy, when he get's introduced to Euphoria the two of them get along swimmingly..... a bit to swimmingly for Panic, who immediately tries to stop the two of them from flirting more.
- When they return to the Sweet Dragon, they arrive at the exact moment Helga is setting up a memorial plaque for them, when she notices them, she can only rip the thing off in frustration.
- Greckles responds by storming up to her and slamming a bottle of deep gnome wine on the counter. She immediately forgives him.
- We finally meet Skinny's husband Fluffy, and he does not disappoint. He's a chonky pallos cat tabaxi, wears a blacksmith apron with "No. 1 Husband" on it, and he talks like a gruffer version of Boomhauer.
- The Silver King sent Willow an incredibly cringey letter asking Willow to marry him instead of Doros so they can rule Eltmur together, bragging that Doros can't fly or shoot ice breath. The guys suggest that with the right enchantments Doros could totally do that, and Willow actually considers it.
- Panic sends Scarlet a Sending message to let her know he's okay. Her response is spoken at a breakneck pace, and gets cut off because she uses up all her words. Panic half expects to see her running down the street and leaving a Scarlet-shaped hole in their wall.
- Remy realizes he's made a terrible mistake inviting Cliff over, because now he has to endure Cilff and Borky being in the same room.
- Solly pairs up each of the Unexpectables with one of her "Angels" to go gather information. Azra Sahar ends up getting paired with Borky and is forced to deal with him being, well, Borky. Task cannot stop laughing and the sheer karma of the situation.
- Borky ends up saving Azra when a monster turns her feral, so now she's indebted to the big oaf and has to hope he doesn't tell anyone what happened to her.
- Meanwhile, Panic gets paired with Quarion and wind up having to deal with Avryman, Task goes with Pilchard to check out the docks, Greckles spends time with Solly, and Remy is forced to help with Jerry.
- Every time Jerry tries to talk to anyone, they panic and lock themselves indoors out of fear. Eventually, Remy introduces Jerry to Willow, who is interested in playing chess with a creature that can read minds. Unfortunately, Jerry has no idea how chess works.
- Task gets annoyed and pours coffee on Borky's lap. Borky uses Tubbs to wipe it up, and Tubbs absorbs it like a shamwow.
- Borky is upset that now that he no longer has the fanny pack of holding, every keeps their stuff in Panics portable hold, leading to this line:Borky: I used to be the guy with the bag, now Panic's the guy with the hole. Everyone wants to put their stuff in Panic's hole.
- The group is discussing hiring a bookie for their fight pit. Cue Pitch, the fight manager from the sky pirate ship, dramatically bursting through the door.Pitch: Did somebody say bookie?!
- Panic and Remy are trying to find Starlight's address so they can visit Scarlet. They try the Romansion, since Starlight used to work there, leading to this line:Remy: Are we going to a brothel to find out where a child lives?
- Panic eventually gets fed up when the people at the Romansion can't give out her address, so he just uses his orb of sending to ask her directly.
- Scarlet's been learning to sing, and she's predictably tone-deaf. Ith briefly regrets saving music.
- Seeing Taylor again means more weird pigeons! This time there's one with three heads, and one with a human face.
- Stendin disarms the earth elemental guards by speaking their language:Stendin: Rock rock boulder rock pebble.
- Once again, Borky makes himself dead weight to make it harder for the guards to arrest him. Though this time Doros easily slings him over his shoulder.
- Somewhat meta, but Zito preparing a whole essay refuting that they attacked Stendon, only for Broc to simply pardon them.
- During the interviews, Kay helps by taking excessively detailed notes about each person. Greckles sneaks a peek and sees that they read more like criminal interrogation notes (which makes sense considering that's her normal job).
- Hassarad, trying to keep a low profile, meets with the party disguised as a human. Problem is, his disguise is terrible, seemingly made out of the remains of a scarecrow, and fools nobody.
- Monty explaining that Panic doesn't count on any fiend detection spells because he's "the Lacroix of fiends".
- Panic and Task Dimension Door onto a roof to chase down an invisible assailant, but end up landing right on top of them.
- Task is delirious from all the damage he took, so Doros holds him and gently rubs his back like he's a cat.
- The simple fact that the reason the fight was so difficult for the group was that Monty didn't know that Panic switched out his Fairy Fire spell... despite the fact that Conner explicitly sent her a message showing her that he switched out Fairy Fire.
- Borky asks Remy how he got is title, and Remy explains that he was born into it.Borky: Oh, I though it was something that matters.