- "Good Lord, who let him in?" said whenever Edward's cousin is onstage. Any time.
- At the end of "Find A Mate (What Has Love Got To Do With Getting Married)":The King and Queen: What has love got to do with getting married?The Dowager Queen: We are not prepared to say!
- "What a Comforting Thing to Know" is funny in a Black Comedy sort of way.
- Early in the film, Edward refuses to marry the girl his father wants him to marry for political reasons because it turns out she's bald and has no teeth. This becomes a Running Gag later.The King: [while organising the ball] Whatever you do, make sure they have teeth! He's an obsession about them having teeth!The King: [at the ball, referring to a princess] Excellent teeth.
- The stepmother and stepsisters' reactions to hearing that Prince Edward wants to marry Cinderella.
- The Fairy Godmother's first effort at making Cinderella's dress. It... doesn't go well; she makes a suit of armour.The Fairy Godmother: Most unsuitable for a ball!
- "See what you might condemn us to if you don't get married?"
- The Fairy Godmother sees Cinderella while on her way to what she thinks is Cinderella and Edward's wedding, which leads to this exchange.Cinderella: Who's [Edward] marrying?
- The Dowager Queen has many funny moments.
Dowager Queen: Is he still alive? I thought we buried him!
- Her reaction to the Duke of Montague's arrival.
Dowager Queen: Is the ceremony over? What a relief!
- Later, her comment when Cinderella arrives during Edward's wedding.
- "He can write what he likes, as long as he clears this room! There are too many people in it!"
- One of Cinderella's stepsisters says that the mystery princess was "not that pretty". Then she looks in a mirror... and it cracks.
- The day after the ball, Palatine says, "I wonder what the Prince is doing today".Edward: I'll tell you what the Prince is going to do today!
The King: I'm glad you [the Lord High Chamberlain] stayed to hear that. After all, he is the heir to the throne.Edward: Father, you're the one who treats me like an idiot!
- Then Edward complains that he's being treated like a village idiot. The King isn't happy to hear this.
- Edward gets some snark in at the Lord High Chamberlain.Edward: Now you mark my words. Before you can count to ten, through that door — with the odious punctuality of our neighbour's much-vaunted, recently-invented, hideously irritating cuckoo clock — will come our dear and loyal subject, the ever unctuous Lord High Chamberlain.
Edward: He's improving. One of these days he's going to achieve the elusive ten-minute mile.
- Then John counts to ten, and he gets as far as "seven" before the Lord High Chamberlain arrives.
- "Protogolicorically Correct" is hilarious from start to finish. Especially when some of the Lords dance on the table, followed by one of the Lords almost falling on top of the Lord High Chamberlain.
- "Our police, father, couldn't find a missing haystack, let alone a needle."
Funny / The Slipper and the Rose