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    Season 25 

531 - Homerland

  • New Homer asking for water at Moe's.
    Moe: WATER? That killed my grandmother. (cut to a photo of The Wicked Witch of the West)
  • "I've been listening to this for three days...and I'm still on the first verse!"
  • The Swag song.

532 - Treehouse of Horror XXIV

A - Oh, The Places You'll D'oh

  • We see Comic Book Guy in a Catwoman costume (the Batman Catwomannote , not the Halle Berry version, though some of the women walking by the house were dressed as the latter), then he says, "Wait, it's Halloween?"
  • The Fat In the Hat revealing the little helpers he's got hidden under his hat, only to find that they've died.
    Fat: I knew there was something I left off my list; without food, air and water, they cease to exist.
  • The Fat burning down Mr Burn's house when he refuses to give out candy.
    Burns: Let this be a lesson to those who love cash; that your nice stash of cash can be gone in a flash! To those who are wicked, nasty and cruel-
    Fat: Enough with the lessons, this isnt a school! *breaks Burns neck*
  • The Fat in the Hat's line about being okay with going to Hell, but not okay with having Mike Myers star in a movie adaptation of his life.
    Fat: I fear nothing, not even hellfire! Just dont ever let me be played by Mike Myers! *dies*
  • The whole segment was hilarious, really. Just the cheerful tone applied to the disturbing gruesomeness is hilarious.

B - Dead And Shoulder

  • Bart mixes Nappien (an Ambien knock-off introduced on the season 18 episode "Crook and Ladder" where Homer becomes a volunteer firefighter) into Lisa's yogurt. Homer sees this, assumes they're mix-ins, and eats the rest of the bottle. The pills take effect right as he walks past the open basement door.
  • When Bart finds out he has control of Lisa's body she's asleep, Lisa then has a dream.
    Bart: (trying to get her to shut up) (grunts) Not the pony dream again.

C - Freaks, No Geeks

  • Selma and Bart being referred to as "The Terrifying CallBack"note .
  • The sideshow freaks singing "Super Freak" as a wedding song and making it sound like a funeral dirge.
  • The Gainax Ending in which the whole Freaks parody is a flashback story of how Homer met Marge.

533 - Four Regrettings and a Funeral

  • Burns tries to re-unite with an old love. She dies before they can sleep together. He tries to give her CPR and she crumbles into dust.
  • Earlier, she vows to find a man as good as Mr. Burns is evil. His response?
    Mr. Burns: No one's that good!

534 - YOLO

535 - Labor Pains

536 - The Kid Is All Right

537 - Yellow Subterfuge

  • When the students are on the sub, Milhouse presses a button to launch a torpedo, only to be told it's imaginary. When we cut to Bart and Homer at the pier, we see a lighthouse exploding.
  • After Bart and Homer finish tricking Skinner by faking his mother's death, we get this exchange when Bart thanks Homer for his help.
    Homer: Someday, I may need to fake my own death. Maybe you can help with that.
    Bart: Sounds great.
    Homer: And by someday, I mean soon. As in, what are you doing this Friday?
  • The Itchem & Scratchem Blow
    • Anything with Irish Krusty.
  • When Lisa recomends making international versions of the show to Krusty, she shows him an Italian parody of SpongeBob SquarePants, in which SpongeBob gives Squidward a birthday present. Squidward then tries to tell him that it's a nuclear bomb, but then a seahorse sits on the button, and blows them up. This then leads to a widowed fish coming out, and crying over Squidward.
    Widowed Fish: Calamari?! NOOOOOO!!!
    (she continues to bawl over Squidward)
    • And Krusty's opinion on it....
    Krusty: Eh, that's cute, kid.

538 - White Christmas Blues

  • When asked if the Simpsons have anywhere to house strangers, this is Marge's reply.
    Marge: Well, there is a rec room next to the kitchen, but sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. Our house is weird that way.
  • The only use for Bongo Comics = increased aspirin sales
  • Marge only likes the first verses of Christmas carols and holiday songs, because the other verses get too 'churchy'/preachy. Her reactions are humorous to see coming from her.

539 - Steal This Episode

  • This exchange after Bart shows Homer how to illegally download movies.
    Homer: How did you know how to do that?
    Bart: I'm under 30.
  • The Opening Crawl for Cosmic Wars Episode VII? It retcons the prequel trilogy out of existence. Everyone cheers.
    Sideshow Mel: My childhood has been un-ruined!
  • The episode cuts to NASCAR footage when Bart shows Homer how to illegally download movies, because Fox won't allow the show to give any useful instructions.
  • Bart distracts the FBI agents coming to arrest Homer for his illegal movie theater by starting the film, causing all the agents to willingly blind themselves to avoid seeing a movie they hadnt paid for.
    • Just the ridiculous extremes the movie industry has gone to to prevent piracy. The FBI has an entire TASK FORCE focused solely on piracy.
  • While the Simpsons are hiding in the Swedish embassy, the FBI tries to force them out by playing loud death metal. While it bugs the Simpsons, the Swedish ambassador loves it.
    Ambassador: Oh yes, we swedes love death metal. It reminds us of death!
  • At the end of the episode, Homer's story is optioned to become a movie, and Homer agrees to sell it to whoever can convince Ryan Reynolds to gain the most weight to play him. At the end, we see a newspaper showing a story about Reynolds getting gravy injections to prepare for the role.

540 - Married to the Blob

  • The Chalkboard Gag for the episode is an apology for calling Judas Priest a death metal band last episode.
  • The unexpected callbacks to Milhouse as Fallout Boy and Mr. Sparkle. Homer's reaction when he found out Mr. Sparkle is popular with suicidal people was one of the episode's saving graces.
  • Homer and Kumiko's father getting so drunk that he started seeing Springfield as a mash-up of movies from Studio Ghilbi. We then see the Kwik-E-Mart sprout out mechanical legs and ruin Apu's merchandise just by walking:
    Apu: Oof! I'm being ruined by whimsy!
    • The scene before that, where Homer moans, "Why did I drink all that fish wine?" To which Kumiko's father replies, "That was the aquarium!"
  • Kumiko's father telling her that she has to go back to Japan because she has several dozen elderly family members who need her to care for them.
  • Fans of Kyary Pamyu Pamyu thought it was hilarious that her song "PONPONPON" was used for Comic Book Guy and Kumiko's montage.
  • Marge tells Homer (who is relaxing in his hammock out back) to take a housewarming present to Comic Book Guy and Kumiko, and this happens:
    Homer: Marge, we talked about this! The hammock is a chore-free zone.
    The hammock promptly unties itself from the tree, dumping Homer to the ground.
    Marge: Apparently, including tying the knots on the hammock!
    The trees then fall over, exposing their roots.
    Marge: And getting the termites out of the trees.
    A hole in the ground suddenly opens up, and moles come streaming out of it. Marge looks at Homer, opens her mouth, and...
    Homer: ...not a word.
  • In the scene where he tells Homer and Marge about his heartbreak, Comic Book Guy has the compulsion to note which reference he's making. When Marge tells Homer to resolve the issue, Comic Book Guy says, "I have a bad feeling about this." People familiar with the line would naturally assume that he'd then say, "Star Wars reference!" Instead, he yells, "Every action movie ever made reference!"

541 - Specs and the City

  • The entire montage of Homer using his Optic Goggles to watch videos of people getting hurt due to Optic Goggles. Of course, Homer calls them stupid as he bites into an alarm clock instead of a sandwich.
  • Maggie's profile on the Optic Goggles... Attempted Murderess.
  • Lenny tells Homer that he always thought his last name was "Simpsan", to which Homer points up to the sky to show him the show's title floating through the clouds like in the opening credits.
    Lenny: I always wondered what that was.
  • Homer uses his Optic Goggles to see the property values of his house and Flanders' house, seeing that Flanders' property value is higher than his. Homer then steals a rose bush from Flanders' yard, which causes Homer's property value to rise, only for Santa's Little Helper to come along and pee on the Rose bush, which makes the property value become even lower than before Homer stole the rose bush.
  • Mr. Burns' reaction when it's revealed he's still spying on Homer- While Homer and Marge is making out.
    Mr. Burns: Oh dear god.

542 - Diggs

  • The chalkboard gag is a March Madness-style bracket using Simpsons' characters.
  • During the montage of Bart and Diggs sending out their falcon, it snatches Homer's steak. It then returns and drops broccoli on his plate. Another part of the montage has the falcon steal Selma's bikini top at the beach. A horrified bystander then hammers into the ground a sign reading "Beach Closed Forever".
  • After Diggs tries to fly, we get this exchange:
    Bart: Say something so I know you're not hurt.
    Diggs: I'm really hurt.
    Bart: Phew.

543 - The Man Who Grew Too Much

  • What convinces Lisa that the GMO video is clearly fictional? Its idea that Mayans made giant vegetable creatures? How it says Mayans are evil since a hotel in the same area has $30 valet? Nope! An endorsement by Jenny McCarthy.
  • The return of the Rake Gag... underwater.

544- The Winter of His Content

  • One of the reasons that the retirement home closed is that the van used to pick-up wheelchair residents is faulty. Specifically, it launches the retirees across the city.
  • "The Warriors" parody.
    Luther Expy: Bulliiiiies, come out to plaaaaay! Bulliiiiies, come out to PLAAAAAY!
    Dolph: Oh no, he's got three bottles!
    Luther Expy: Clinky clinky!

545 - The War of Art

  • In a stellar example of Freeze-Frame Bonus, the Artipidea article on Johan Oldenveldt is a goldmine of hilarity.
    Johan Hendrikus Wooter Oldenveldt (6 May 1859 - 5 December 1932) was a founder of the Dutch nationalist movement, and a fierce proponent of employing plein-air landscapes to express discontent with landlords and brokers selling risky investments in Dutch whaling ships.

    Oldenveldt's work is often categorized into three periods, each of which reflects strong side effects brought on by drug treatment regimens for the venereal diseases he battled. The most commonly accepted periods in his work are the Arsenic Period (1880-1891), the Sulfur Period (1892-1923), and the Mercury Period (1923-1930). The Arsenic canvases have themes of vertigo, shock, and dark urine in his many depictions of the yellow cliffs of Etretat. The frantic Sulfur Period is marked by thematic insomnia and sensitivity to light - the sun often represented as a beady-eyed, round face, resembling his landlord Mathhijs Neuhuys. The Mercury Period shows canvases filled with shadows and fog, attributed to a curious treatment he received known as "fumigation". This palliative was for syphilis, or as he called it "The Spanish Disease," tracing its origins to a night spent with a seamstress in Barcelona. During fumigation, Oldenveldt was placed in a closed box, with a bowl of mercury on the floor, and a fire beneath the box, which caused the mercury to vaporize. His most striking work of this period, "Help, the Box is Locked", sold in 2008 for $77,000 to an unnamed Japanese investor.

    Contents

    1 Biography
    1. The House on Blitterswijck Canal
    1.1.1 Near drownings
    1.2 Utrecht University
    1.2.1 Expungement
    1.3 Landlord dispute
    1.3.1 Mathhijs Neuhuys, landlord
    1.3.2 Alice Neuhuys Romance
    1.3.3 Non-payment of rent
    1.3.4 Mathhijs Neuhuys disappearance
    1.3.5 Alice Neuhuys' brutal caning of Oldenveldt
    1.3.5.1
    1.3.6 Oldenveldt recuperative trip to Barcelona
    1.4 Disease and Death
    1.4.1 Seamstress Maria Obradors
    1.4.1.1 Bedroom "boundaries crossed"
    1.4.2 Whole body rash
    1.4.3 Treatments
    1.4.4 Loss of nose
    1.4.5 Death in basement
    2 Life Work
    2.1.1 Arsenic Period
    2.1.1.1 Investment in whaling ship Spitsbergen
    2.1.1.1.1 "Every guilder I own"
    2.1.1.2 Pieter Spitsbergen portrait sittings
    2.1.1.3 Exuberant whaling canvases
    2.1.2 Sulfur Period
    2.1.2.1 Wreck of the Spitsbergen
    2.1.2.1.1 Drunken whale attack (ref. needed)
    2.1.2.2 Burning of Pieter Spitsbergen portraits
    2.1.3 Mercury Period
    2.1.3.1 Landscapes
    2.1.3.2 Seascapes
    2.1.3.3 Fumigation box-scapes
    (PICTURE BOX: Photograph of 60-year-old Oldenveldt. If you look closely, you'll see that his nose is fake)
    BOX BELOW:
    Johan Oldenveldt

    Birth Name: Johan Hendrikus Wooter Oldenveldt
    Born: 6 May, 1942, Blitterswijck, Limburg, Netherlandsnote 
    Died: 5 December, 1904, Vroom & Dreesmann Store, delicatessen levelnote 
    Resided in: Amsterdam, Paris, Barcelona, V&D Store (Weesperstrat)
    Movement: Dutch Naturalism and Landlord Rejectivism
  • The scene where the town takes sides in the Simpson-Van Houten feud by throwing rocks through the Simpsons' window. Keep in mind that the pro-Simpsons side STILL threw rocks. Cut to Bart and Lisa sorting and counting them like votes after an election.
  • When Homer and Lisa get leave to an island Marge told them not to go to:
    Homer: Now, if your mother asks, I took you to a wine tasting event.
    Lisa: That's a horrible thing for a father to do.
    Homer: That's why she'll believe it.

546 - You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee

  • When Martin gives a speech about heroism on the same person as Lisa, Bart convinces her to give a speech on Homer.
    Bart: Just do it about Dad.
    Lisa: Every kid does that.
    Bart: Kids with GOOD dads do that. With ours, it's like climbing Mount Everest.
  • After Lisa's speech goes viral, the Head of the WFF wants to hire Homer to counter the widespread corruption on every level. He eventually gets arrested for corruption while talking to Homer.
  • Marge tries to learn Portuguese on the plane. This exchange takes place with the pilots.
    Pilot: Everyone thinks they can learn our language on the plane. Do you know how insulting that is?
    Marge: (groans while turning off her iPad)
    Pilot: OK, just for that, turbulence. (plane shakes)
  • This exchange when gangster's plan to bribe Homer.
    Gangster 1: We have many ways to make him change his mind.
    Gangster 2: What ways do we have besides guns and money?
    Gangster 1: We have two ways. Two very good ways.
  • The soccer narrators:
    Andres Cantor: In choosing Homer Simpson, the World Cup has met its goooooooooooooooooooooal!
    Other narrator: Andres Cantor! You know that is incorrect usage?
    Andres Cantor: I have no controoooooooooooool! This job has taken its toooooooooooooooooooll!

547 - Luca$

  • The entire Cold Open with Homer stuck in the playground equipment.

548 - Days Of Future Future

  • The montage of Homer clones dying, set to "Once in a Lifetime" by The Talking Heads. Especially #4 who trips into the grave of #3.
    • Homer #2 eats himself to death on potato salad almost immediatly after being brought back.
    • Moe keeps trying to home in on Marge at every one of Homers funerals, which goes on for decades. Finally he gets fed up and tells her off, only to find out that the current funeral is the last one because Homer used up all his clone bodies.
    • After using up all his clones, Homer lives on in computer form. At one point, Marge moves him to a flash drive to send him to Bart, and because she's mad at him, removes the drive without engaging safety mode which apparently really hurts.
  • Zombie Milhouse defending Lisa from muggers using Ralph as a weapon.
  • Skinner on a date with the mummified body of his mother.
  • Bart getting a T. rex to do a juggling act.
  • Homer getting a body resembling C-3PO in the ending and commenting on how the process has changed his personality.
  • Marge joining up with Homer in his computer form where they both start to play Goody Gobble and Homer swallows her completely for fun, leading to a Game Over screen.
    Moe: I can't tell if that was love, suicide, o-o-or a really boring video game.

549 - What to Expect When Bart's Expecting

  • During a superhero promotion at Moe's, Barney dresses up as the Human Torch from Fantastic Four. He lights his breath on fire, which eventually burns his mouth. When paramedics arrive, Barney promptly tries to put out the flames by putting on an oxygen mask.
  • The reason Bart hates art class.
    Bart: Every time I do art, some do-gooder teacher sends it straight to a therapist.
    Milhouse: Your stuff is pretty disturbing.
    Bart: I've never acted on any of it.
  • Shauna Chalmersnote  gives Bart the idea to use voodoo to send his art teacher, Mrs. Trunch, home with a stomachache. However, the spell appears to misfire, as Mrs. Trunch announces that she is going to have a baby. The news quickly spreads...
    Ralph Wiggum: [running out of the school and into the playground] Aah! Bart Simpson got a teacher pregnant!
    Lisa: [to Janey, scoffing] Huh. Typical Ralph nonsense.
    Milhouse: [running up to Ralph's side, gasping] Bart Simpson got a teacher pregnant!
    Superintendent Chalmers: [to Shauna] Happy with your two-timing boyfriend now? [Shauna rolls her eyes and stomps out her cigarette]
  • Bart is summoned to Principal Skinner's office after his alleged role in Mrs. Trunch's pregnancy.
    Bart: I admit, I did make a voodoo doll of Mrs. Trunch. But I just asked for a stomachache, not a baby!
    Skinner: Classic wish maker's mistake: vague language.
    Bart: So I did make her pregnant?
    Skinner: Of course not! Doesn't work that way.
    Bart: Just how do women get babies?
    Skinner: I'm not allowed to discuss that with fourth graders. In fifth grade, you get every dirty detail.
  • Word continues to spread of Bart's voodoo pregnancy spell, and a couple who have been unsuccessfully trying to conceive ask him for help.
    Bart: Maybe I can help. But it'll cost you.
    Husband: How much?
    Bart: Five dollars. Plus one dollar "Haw-haw" insurance.
    Nelson: [riding past on his bike] Trust me: the insurance is worth it.
    [...]
    Caption: A few weeks later
    [Bart, Milhouse, and Nelson are playing kickball in the park when the couple drive up in their car]
    Nelson: [points at the couple] HAW-
    Husband: No "Haw-haw"! It worked! [Nelson sighs in disappointment]
  • Fat Tony's prize filly, Cheesesteak.
  • The race horse Fat Tony wanted to impregnate his horse turns out to be gay, revealed when he dances to "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls.
  • At the end of Homer and Bart's musical number, Sudsley kicks Homer into a bunch of champagne glasses.

550 - Brick Like Me

  • Lego Flanders shielding his sons' eyes by removing their heads from their bodies.
  • Lego Homer goes to buy a princess set for Lego Lisa
    Comic Book Guy: Ah, always good to meet a fellow AMFOP.
    Homer: Wha?
    Comic Book Guy: Adult Male Fan Of Princesses
    Homer: It's for my daughter.
    Comic Book Guy: Yes, it's always for the daughter.
  • After making love, we see a close-up of Lego!Homer next to Lego Marge saying that they feel really close. We then cut out to see their body parts have been scattered across the room.
  • This exchange. Especially with the figures in the background.
    Homer: I had this crazy dream where I was in a world made of Lego bricks, and learned important lessons about parenting.
  • In the beginning, Homer talks about how his happiest day was taking Lego Marge's hand in marriage, only to then literally pull out her clawed hand. And then Santa's Little Helper runs into the room and runs off with the hand.
    Lego Homer: That's one of my wife's pieces! She needs it to reciprocate high-fives!
  • There's also Maggie's introduction as a Duplo figure, thus making her comically bigger than the rest of her family. Following this is both a funny and cute twist on "playing with one's food" as Maggie makes a tiny Lego car out of the bricks used to construct her bottle before Marge scolds her.
    Lego Homer: Awww, they're so cute when they're Duplo.
  • Following Homer's first "hallucination" and description of the flesh and blood version of himself, Lego Comic Book Guy shows that he actually has a sign marked "NO OUTSIDE REALITIES" in his store.
  • Homer gets distracted while driving and crashes into Lego Krusty, breaking the clown into pieces. As he helps Krusty get rebuilt, Krusty accidentally gets Mr. Teeny's short minifig legs. Mr. Teeny takes advantage of Krusty's fully moveable legs to run like hell.
    Lego Krusty: Come back! I'm a clown; I can't afford to look ridiculous!
  • To demonstrate how no one gets hurt in this world, Homer pulls out a parking meter and chucks it at Chief Wiggum's police chopper, causing it to wreck. Of course, Wiggum, Eddie, and Lou are just fine and begin throwing the pieces in a Tupperware container marked "POLICE HELICOPTER" to rebuild it later.
  • Lego Bart storms in with his mech and proceeds to take out Lego Comic Book Guy's ninja and pirate minions by firing actual lions and vomiting lightsabers.
  • The episode kicks off with one: Homer's "It's not selling out, it's co-branding! Co-branding!"

551 - Pay Pal

  • Homer and Marge are walking home after Homer ruined a party. Marge says she wants some space, so Homer has to go to the other side of the street. It's still too close for Marge, so Homer is forced to jump from rooftop to rooftop. This works until he reaches a house still under construction.
  • Bart becomes suspicious of Lisa's new friend when he finds them listening to jazz records.
    Bart: No one likes jazz that much. Even the guy who wrote it needed drugs.

552 - The Yellow Badge Of Cowardage

  • The Couch Gag where The Simpsons and a caricature of Matt Groening are panelists at the San Diego Comic Con. When the Comic Book Guy asks when will the show have another feature-length movie, everyone except Maggie leaves.
  • The Olympic Hurdler who makes an unfortunate jump.
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    Season 26 

553 - Clown in the Dumps

  • Sideshow Mel meets Sideshow Bob.
    Mel: (clearly drunk) So! This is the Bob whose comedic genius I can never live up to! (motions to Krusty) Believe me, all of us have thought about killing him.
  • When Krusty is passed out from binge drinking, the EMT says he has no pulse. When Krusty re-awakens having had his epiphany, the EMT still can't find a pulse.
  • The couch gag by Don Hertzfeldt.
  • Krusty dreaming about meeting his father in Jewish Heaven, only to be told by him that Jews don't believe in Heaven.
  • Homer preparing to strangle Bart by shouting "Why you little!?" only for him to smush Bart against his belly fat instead.

554 - The Wreck of the Relationship

  • The montage of Homer's troubles at sea, especially his troubles with the hammock.
  • Bart and Homer arguing about eating the broccoli.
  • Martin beating up Nelson.
  • Homer freaks out because he catches Bart and Milhouse watching a rather racy trailer for an R-rated movie. When he states that he thought they had parental blocks set on all their computers, Homer is told by Bart that he has no idea what they block. We then cut to Marge attempting to look up where she can get a mammogram appointment, only to get blocked.
  • When Bart begins to sail the Relation Ship back to safety, Homer is at one point seen cheerfully swabbing the deck. A wave washes him off the ship. Another wave brings him back, still smiling and swabbing the deck as if nothing's happened.

555 - Super Franchise Me

  • Marge hires Gil, who gives out flyers for her sandwich shop and a local strip club.
    Carl: Are you working two jobs, Gil?
    Gil: I resent that accusation. (reveals an advertisement for local condos) Is that pointing west?
  • Homer's failed substitute for a drone delivery system.
  • The fake injury and lawsuit the family stages with Homer claiming to be a model.
    Lisa: One Jumbo Joe to go. (Bart spills coffee on Homer's crotch)
    Marge: First Aid Kit.
    Lisa: One Florence Nightengale in a box to go.
    Bart: (Trips and throws scalpels into Homer's crotch) I got this. (bashes Homer with fire extinguisher)
  • The ending where a caveman resembling Homer uses two saber-toothed squirrels to sandwich a slice of ground sloth meat... and promptly walks into a tar pit.
  • The scene where Marge is looking over the cost of buying supplies from the franchise she's running:
    Marge: Mother Hubbard central expects you to buy a lot of stuff from them! Uniforms, fixings... it's like they don't care if you make money, as long as THEY make money! What kind of corporation does that?
  • Grandpa giving a sandwich to a pigeon sitting on a trashcan because he thinks there's a drive-thru after Bart gets him to cover for him.
    Grandpa: No, thank coo!

556 - Treehouse of Horror XXV

A - School Is Hell

  • When Lisa goes to Hell, she impresses the local mean girls who asks her to join their group. It immediately starts snowing.
  • Bart becomes a model student in Hell, begging to be allowed to continue attending.
  • One of the books is But I'm Not Dead Yet.
  • Bart's exam is to torture his own father, Homer is actually okay with it as he says: like Jesus, his son went to hell and came back victorious.

B - A Clockwork Yellow

  • The entire parody, especially when the home invasion turns into Eyes Wide Shut.
    CBG: Even I forget what this is a reference to!
    • Mr Burns claims that the Eyes Wide Shut party is a book release party.
    • Mr Burns wears Smithers's bird mask... on his crotch.
    • When Nelson and the bullies pull a home invasion on Moe, they smash a statue of the Shmoo (a wildly popular character from Lil' Abner) over Moe's head. A sign over it says "what your great grandpa thought was hip").
    Moe: Not my Shmoo! NOT MY SHMOO!!

C - The Others

557 - Opposites A-Frack

  • Patty and Selma stay with the Simpsons, but Homer gets Marge to agree to throw them out if they smoke. Homer says he trusts them. We then see the house installed with hundreds of smoke detectors.
    • Patty and Selma try smoking outside, only to get hit with rain. This makes their dresses see through, much to Homer's horror.
    • ...which causes Homer's pupils to shatter and be swept away by a man inside his head.
  • The documentary against fracking has a man igniting his water. His wife asks him if he turned off the Slip-N-Slide. We then hear an explosion and a child screaming.

558 - Simpsorama

  • Milhouse decides to put his rabbit foot in the time capsule. As soon as he does, his pants fall down, and as he tries to pull them back up, the capsule's lid falls on his nose. Made even better by his line before it:
  • After the above moment, Nelson says he wishes this moment could be in the time capsule. Cue the screen zooming out to reveal the scene was a recording being done live. Chalmers takes the tape out and puts it in the capsule.
  • Bender claiming the three laws of robotics are crap, claiming to have killed Isaac Asimov before arriving.
    Bender: Or Isaac somebody.
  • Homer's reaction to one of Bender's catchphrases when they're both sleeping.
    Bender: Kill all humans. Kill all humans.
    Homer: Start with Flanders.
  • The caption during the opening: "A show out of ideas teams up with a show out of episodes."
  • After Leela, Lisa, Zoidberg, Amy, and Hermes cheer due to the fact that they ditch millions of Bart-like mutants, Bart says "You realize you're cheering the death of millions of my children." Cue to them cheering harder while this displeases Bart.
  • Homer dispassionately killing the Bart mutants by breaking their necks in the same way that he strangles Bart, complete with a bored rendition of his catchphrase for each kill.
  • As Farnsworth is praying to nobody because he's an atheist, there's a Funny Background Event where Nibbler eats a Bart-like mutant. He craps it right back out, but the crap forms back into the mutant, which bites his ass.

559 - Blazed and Confused

  • Willie decides to ruin Skinner's lunch. He rubs the apple on his butt and armpit, then decides to lick it.
    Willie: AH! Wrong order!
  • Mr. Lassen gets fired, after which he takes a job as a guard in Springfield Penitentiary. Who does he meet? Sideshow Bob.
    Lassen: I could let you out. We could take of him (Bart) together.
    Bob Who gets to gut him?
    Lassen: I assumed we'd take turns.
    Bob No deal.

560 - Covercraft

  • When Homer fist plays his base, it sends reverberations throughout the house. Bart and Milhouse are playing Jenga and Milhouse had just put a brick on top. When the reverberations stop, the bookshelf falls on Milhouse.
  • Homer has a vision of the lords of rock, including John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and Sammy Hagar. When Homer points out that Hagar isn't dead yet, we see someone heimliching him to revive him.
  • Homer denies being jealous about Apu's success, insisting he's envious. He then goes on to explain the subtle difference between the two words. Lisa confirms his explanation after looking in the dictionary.
  • Homer has high hopes for his band after Apu leaves.
    Homer: We'll be like Genesis after Peter Gabriel left.
    Bart: Make more money but not be as good?

561 - I Won't Be Home for Christmas

562 - The Man Who Came to Be Dinner

  • The kids keep asking "Are We There Yet" until they fall asleep, only to use an MP3 to continue asking
  • The entire parody of Disneyland, with the politically correct Pirates of the Caribbean ride and the ride that launches people into space.
    Marge: I don't like the ending yells on that ride.
  • Riding on the Bug, riding on the Bug, you'd rather be in school than riding on the bug...

563 - Bart's New Friend

  • Homer's flashback to visiting the circus as a child
  • Lisa convinces Homer to get hypnotized by telling him it would make him more efficient
  • The final scene where Sven Golly tricks Chief Wiggum into thinking he is the prisoner and Sven is the police chief, allowing him to escape custody.

564 - The Musk Who Fell to Earth

  • After an eagle gets into the house, Homer tries to trap it in a trash bag. He asks Bart to close the bag, which he does. Unfortunately, it traps Homer in the bag with the eagle.

565 - Walking Big and Tall

  • Pharrell Williams offers a variant of "Happy" for a new town anthem. He gets tied up, put on the back of the horse and banished.
  • Homer gets stuck in his theater seats and proceeds to destroy the building.
  • The callbacks to the episode "Stark Raving Dad", complete with Bart pointing out how in hindsight it was pretty careless of his parents to let a crazy man spend the night with him.
  • In a moment of Black Comedy, Albert apparently being so fat that he needed a crapload of urns and a giant bag to hold his cremated ashes. Adding to that, Homer’s horrified reaction upon learning that he was only 23 when he died.
    Homer: People, for God’s sake, join a gym!

566 - My Fare Lady

  • The montage of Marge driving the kids around, especially when Marge is following the cop car in a high speed chase because all three of them have kids in the same gym class.
  • The parody of the opening to The Jetsons in the beginning of the episode.
  • When Chief Wiggum offers to buy coffee, Snake insists that he'll cover it by saying "No, I insist. I'm stealing."
  • Moe states that as far as he's concerned, Homer, Lenny, and Carl are just mouths waiting for beers. We then see his three patrons as giant mouths with arms and legs who call offense to Moe's claim, and then we see that they see Moe as a beer with a rubber nipple on it like a baby bottle.
  • After Moe relaxes with a drink at the end of the episode, the smile on the mirror comes to life and tells him he's not alone. When Moe asks who said that, the smile replies that he'll find out soon enough and then laughs evilly.
  • Moe telling Burns that he had the choice between cleaning his bar or trick the health inspector and he never cleans anything. Burns hired him as a janitor.

567 - The Princess Guide

  • Due to being bankrupted by Elon Musk, Mr. Burns had to replace his hounds with teacup poodles.
  • When Moe and Kemi are avoiding Homer, they try to flee in a pedicab.
    Moe: Can you get rid of him?
    Driver: As long as he can run, he can keep up with us.
    Homer: D'OH!

568 - Sky Police

  • Apu's reason for helping the church: he needs the church to convince people not to steal ...from him; or take a life...his.
  • The Lovejoy's role-playing after getting their new costumes.
    • The CMOF for that scene was Helen of all people asking for the "other woman" (Marge) to join in!
  • When Chief Wiggum gives his excuse to Eddie and Lou about why he can't join them, Eddie starts to aim his rifle at Wiggum before being stopped by Lou.
  • The Church's insurance cover everything except act of God, which is a problem when everything is perceived as an act of God as far as Lovejoy is concerned.
  • Chief Wiggum's Sky Police fantasies.
  • In a hilarious Brick Joke, Apu mentions a god that resembles a monkey and thinks the sun is a tangerine. At the end of the episode, said god appears and eats the sun as it becomes a tangerine and gives Homer a thumbs up.

569 - Waiting For Duffman

  • This exchange during the bike race.
    Bart: Lisa, you're riding the girliest bike in the world. (Milhouse rides a bike with a unicorn head) Oh, I stand corrected.
  • In a case of Black Comedy, Bart and Lisa keep messing around with t-shirt cannons, prompting Marge to advice them to be careful with them. Homer comes and asks her when t-shirt cannons have killed anybody. Cue a flying t-shirt being shot over at Flanders' House, where it breaks through the window and breaks a photo of Maude (the person killed by a t-shirt cannon), with Flanders staring at the audience for a bit.
  • Three bikers attack Moleman for riding a scooter in the race, only for karma to respond by having them get hit by a train.

570 - Peeping Mom

  • At the dinner table, Marge says she thinks one of them is hiding something. When she specifies Bart, we see Maggie and Grandpa hiding food and Homer hiding a Quran.
  • Bart's statement about the "bulldozer incident."
    Bart: How can I tell you something I know nothing about. I'm not cable news.
  • Lisa offers to give Santa's Little Helper a bath or play him some jazz. He chooses the bath.
  • Marge's car wouldn't start, because Homer threw the carburetor at a skunk.
  • Bart skates by the characters from the opening, but then we see what happens afterwards.
    Moe: OK, he's gone by again. Let's head inside.
  • Bart's Imagine Spot of how Marge will react to his sign prank.
    Marge: I've failed as a mother!
    (turns to dust...but her arms remain solid, so that they sweep up the dust into a trash bin; the arms then turn to dust and fall into the bin)

571 - The Kids Are All Fight

  • The Simpsons using vague terms to describe both the political and cultural atmosphere of "6 years ago".
  • Marge's nightmare:
    Marge: I dreamed I lost one of the kids at the world's fair.
    Homer: Honey, it's OK. Which one?
    Marge: Brisbane '88.
    Homer: AHH! I'm so sorry.
  • The trust exercise:
    Homer: You can't kick us out. We still have 40 minutes left.
    Psychologist: How about a trust exercise? Please close your eyes.
    ''(Homer and Marge do so, and the psychologist is gone after they open them.
  • Homer strangling Bart ends up with toddler Bart smashing a vase over Homer's head.
    Homer: Where is he learning all this violence?
  • Bart and Lisa are being menaced by a "big dog" Said dog is a chihuahua.

572 - Let's Go Fly a Coot

  • Homer's attempt to ruin fancy birthday parties get his kids blacklisted, leading to some great lines.
    Marge: Kids, I'm afraid this was your last birthday. You'll have to get used to being the same age for the rest of your lives.
    • Homer then learns he can fix his mess, if he throws a great party for Rod Flanders.
    Homer: How important are your birthdays?
    Bart: How important is sleeping in on Saturday? (grabs pots and pans)
  • Homer agrees to visit one of Grandpa's air force buddies.
    Captain: Homer, you're late! In the air force, if we were late, people died! If we were on time, other people died. The RIGHT people.

573 - Bull-E

  • When Marge reveals that the world's filthiest word is "bully", everyone is disappointed.
    Moe: You know, I thought you were gonna say—(bleeped for about six seconds).
  • Otto having an acid trip where he kills the cast of Magic School Bus.
    • Earlier on in the episode when he has an acid trip cued after Principal Skinner says 'School Train'. He ends up crashing into an expy of Thomas the Tank Engine. Bonus points for the expy having a dead-on perfect imitation of Ringo Starr's voice
    Thomas: I'm going to die, children. And so will you some day!

574 - Mathlete's feat

    Season 27 

575 - Every Man's Dream

  • Homer wins saddest man in the bar, prompting this funny bit.
    Depressed Stranger: I was so close.
  • Candace deciding to go out with Homer has this funny line.
    Candace: I'm an interesting person too. I'm a writer.
    Homer: I thought you worked as a pharmacist.
    Candace: Tennessee Williams worked in a shoe store.
    Homer: You're very quick with that fact.
  • Lisa promises to always love Homer, until...
    Step-Dad: Lisa, I thought we could play a game of chess before we go pony shopping.
    Lisa: I'll Skype you at Christmas.
  • Bart strangling himself with a blood pressure meter.

576 - Cue Detective

577 - Puffless

  • The show "My Doctor Didn't Know I Was Pregnant," starring Dr. Nick.
  • Homer spills beer on Grandma Bouvier's couch to show it keeps the couch safe, only to drop a knife and pierce the plastic.
  • The Running Gag of Homer using bleach to forget about his encounters with Patty.
    • Bart thanking Homer repeatedly for using bleach on his eyes before Patty came out of the shower.
  • "She can't stay on our couch! That's where we do all our couch gags!"
  • After Maggie saves a possum she befriended, the animals return to where they were, including Hoppy, who learned some new words:
    Hoppy: (sounding like Cletus) Hey Brandine, put out the fancy possum china.
    Duffman: I've heard of wanting a cracker, but becoming one— oh no!
  • Homer's Imagine Spot where he mocks Patty and Selma for being fat. Patty and Selma point out that he's even fatter, to which he replies that no one out-fats him. Then they all eat junk food.

578 - Halloween of Horror

  • The Shout-Out to The Rocky Horror Picture Show with the grown-ups singing about Halloween.
  • Kang and Kodos make an appearance as Lenny and Carl's costumes.
  • Homer and Lisa innocently whistling the theme to Halloween, while Homer first doing it to make Lisa feel safe and Lisa just following Homer.
  • Yet another hilarious Brick Joke. When Marge tells Bart about a neighborhood they can trick-or-treat at, she informs him that E.T. will be there and can say his name. When Bart asks Marge what will happen if he tells him his name is a swear word, Marge answers that he'll have to say it, which makes Bart very happy. Later, when Marge and Bart have to drive away, E.T. can be heard saying "Hello, Scrotum!"

579 - Treehouse of Horror XXVI

A - Wanted: Dead, Then Alive

  • Homer's second suspect for Bart's disappearance after Sideshow Bob: Homer Simpson.

B - Homerzilla

  • When Homerzilla appears and incinerates Moe for having ridiculed Grampa Simp-san's beliefs about the sea creature:
    Moe: [raises his fist in anger] Ha! I still refuse to admit the old man was right! [the monster's fire breath incinerates him to a skeleton] Legitimate difference of opinion. [one more fire breath reduces him to ashes]
  • Frink getting squished while explaining how Homerzilla should not be able to stand outside of water.
  • When Lisa tries reasoning with the monster not to destroy her town:
    Lisa: Why do you have to stomp on our buildings?! This land is 98% rural! So much farmland you can walk on without hurting your feet! [Homerzilla's fire breath incinerates the wheelbarrow] Right, right. The city's the only place you can get tuna rolls at five in the morning... because you do have fishy breath! I'm just telling you!
  • The only ticket sold for the Homerzilla remake is for Comic Book Guy, who wanted a good seat for the next Star Wars.

C - Telepaths Of Glory:

  • Milhouse gets a wedgie from Dolph, then dumps him in a volcano.
  • Bart writes 'Skinner is a wiener' on the school walls. Lisa changes the spelling to 'winner' and tosses Bart into detention. Cue Skinner showing up where the graffiti is:
    Skinner: Hrm... somebody misspelled 'wiener'! [rubs off the first N and writes an E in red marker]
  • At the end, when it's revealed that Maggie is the one who stops Milhouse, and then uses her powers to perform acts of kindness - giving a shirtless Vladimir Putin travelling on horseback a shirt, turning Homerzilla into an expy of Barney the Dinosaur, and turning a rude Frenchman into a polite Frenchman, the last one being more hilarious as it's just his head that gets zapped resulting in a change of expression.
  • Kang and Kodos appearing at the very end, complaining that they're consigned to a cameo once again. This results in the aspect ratio being changed to 4:3.
    Kang: Just 'cause it looks like Season 4 doesn't MAKE it Season 4!

580 - Friend With Benefit

  • Homer's book on crowdfunding describes it as the New Panhandling.
  • When everyone learns what Homer's crowdfunding was for, they decide to burn the chair, but somehow wind up burning Grandpa.
  • At the concert, the electric sign behind the band unsuccessfully uses the subliminal message: Join The Navy. It even says "Oops".
  • How much money does it take to buy off Skinner? $10.
  • The Rich Texan refuses to give Homer any money for his crowdfunding, but when he fires his guns, one of the bullets hits the "fund" button anyway.
  • Lisa refuses to give up her old bike since Homer built it for her himself. “Which explains why I have to pedal backwards to go forwards.

581 - Lisa with an "S"

  • The Inside Out parody.
  • While it's undeniably a jerk move, this pun from Bart is funny:
    Bart: Hey, I don't know for sure, but it doesn't sound like band camp is in the cards.
  • Homer tries to trick Laney Fontaine into thinking Bart's crippled to get out of a debt by giving him a crutch.
    Bart: I'm not crippled.
    Homer: You will be.
    Bart smashes the crutch on Homer's knee.

582 - Paths of Glory

  • Bart and Lisa decide to sneak into an abandoned asylum.
    Lisa: How do we get in?
    Bart: Our best option is probably the sewer pipe... (Lisa groans and climbs in) or we could just use the door.
  • Lisa tries to show off the invention she discovered.
    Lisa: Sir, do you want to see this invention?
    Tourist: Je ne parle pas l'anglais. (I don't speak English).
    Lisa: C'est pas une probleme. Je parle francais.(No problem. I speak French)
    Tourist: Uh, just leave me alone little girl.
  • The fact that a feminist landmark has turned into a Hooters-esque restaurant. With children's menusnote .

583 - Barthood

  • Bart demonstrates Homer the tools he brought for a camping trip: a flashlight, a compass and an airhorn.
  • Wiggum tries to fly after smoking pot. It doesn't work.

584 - The Girl Code

585 - Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles

  • La-Z Rider. Essentially one of the biggest parodies of 80s TV shows ever, with Homer as the super-ripped Cowboy Cop Joe "Kaz" Kazinsky and Flanders as scummy billionaire drug lord Fernando Whitmore. Also include a quick Shout-Out to Back to the Future with Burns and Nelson dressed as Doc Brown and Marty.
  • On the list of the court dates for the Simpson family, one of them is for Maggie.
  • Homer tries to teach Bart to shave, again, and we learn why he always has a 5 o'clock shadow.
    • Homer tries to show his shaved face to Marge but it already grew back.
  • Bart thinking that Moon River is a river full of butts

586 - Much Apu About Something

  • Apu tries to cling to a picture of the old Kwik-E-Mart after it was rebuilt. Unfortunately, it was on wheels, and rolled off a cliff.
  • Moe supplies his customers with break-away glasses to increase sales.
  • Lisa's failed attempt to talk Bart out of pranking the Kwik-E-Mart mixes Heartwarming Moment and this.
    Lisa: Look into my eyes. What do you see?
    Bart: I see... love. Unconditional love.
    (Lisa smiles)
    Bart: Which means I can do whatever I want.
  • Bart and Lisa pretending to talk in front of Grandpa Simpson but then start shouting after he turns up his hearing aid.

587 - Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO 2-Ne-He-CH 4

  • Mr. Burns falling through the trap door after he almost walks in on Homer and Marge having sex in his office.
  • Abe is scared of a cat who seems to know when someone will die, thinking he kills people. Later on, he meows in front of a man, who keels over dead.

588 - Gal of Constant Sorrow

589 - Lisa the Veterinarian

  • Poor planning at the water park results in the high divers hitting the ceiling.
  • Nelson brings a giant present to Martin's birthday, then reveals it's empty to steal the other presents.
  • When Krusty brings Mr. Teeny to the vet saying that his lungs are full of seltzer, Lisa squeezes it out of him and into Krusty's mouth, causing him to pass out. Mr. Teeny escapes through the window, then comes back to hit Krusty in the head with the empty seltzer bottle.

590 - The Marge-ian Chronicles

  • Homer doesn't know a lot about chickens. In addition to thinking he needs to cut them open to access the eggs, he also decribes them as such:
    Homer: Chickens are known for their bravery and intelligence.
  • Homer comforts Marge when she's fighting with Lisa. We then cut to Bart repeating the same lines to Lisa. The end cuts to a Distant Finale where a robot repeats the lines again.

591 - The Burns Cage

592 - How Lisa Got Her Marge Back

593 - Fland Canyon

594 - To Courier With Love

  • Homer needs two tickets from an automatic ticket dispenser. It takes him 45 minutes due to the fact it speaks French. When he hits it and insists it stops speaking French, it starts speaking German and fiercely orders him not to hit the machine, an order that Homer fearfully obliges.
  • Ugolin and Cesar aren't great villains.
    Ugolin: We really need to keep a better eye on people. It really isn't that hard.
  • "Prepare to have your ankles' nipped!"

595 - Simprovised

  • Bart walks up to Marge with a nail sticking out of his head, only to reveal that it's his hair.
  • When Homer bombs at his speech, Mr. Burns has Smithers release therapy hounds. After they've comforted him, Burns then releases the real hounds.
  • Marge dumps the cookies she made for Bart when he's dismissive of her hard work. Homer finds them by the tree.
    Homer: The Keebler Elves are real!

596 - Orange Is The New Yellow

  • Marge tries to defend herself in court.
    Marge: Judge, when I was a child, we played in the streets all day and didn't come home until night.
    Judge Snyder: Balliff, arrest Marge Simpson's mother.
    Jacqueline Bouvier: Thanks for ratting me out, Marge!
  • Lenny and Carl discuss the irony that Marge is in jail, despite Homer taking his kids to Moe's.
    Homer: I guess someone up there likes me. (cut to heaven)
    God: Do you like him?
    Jesus: Not really, no.

    Season 28 

597 - Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus

  • The chalkboard gag: "This arm needs Tommy John surgery."
  • Springfield citizens divide into those in favor of a riot, and non-rioters who reset tipped over cars and disassemble Molotov cocktails.
  • The show has fireworks for a finale, due to the power plant experiencing a meltdown.

598 - Friends and Family

  • Mr Burns finding his therapist on the floor.
    Mr Burns: Hmm, no pulse. Oh wait thats me! Dead, so sad. He was a true friend. (Crosses Outlive all friends from the Bucket list) Excellent.
  • The flashback to when the Simpsons were at the therapist's office to learn how to communicate. It didn't help.
    Maggie: Maggie talk! Maggie talk! No one listen. Maggie never talk again.
  • Mr. Burns' final fantasy with his VR machine is dying and going to Hell, where the Devil wants to take a selfie with him. Smithers then notes that the machine isn't plugged in.

599 - The Town

  • Bart and Homer acting as a matador and bull.
  • Marge finds something to love about Boston.
    Marge: Free sunscreen. This town is so progressive. (sees woman walking her baby) Do you vaccinate your children?
    Stranger: Of course!
    Marge: But not stupid progressive!
  • Homer getting buried in an avalanche of bobbleheads and it being treated as life-threatening:
    Homer: Bobblehead Steven Wright, Bobblehead Aimee Mann, Bobblehead Bell Biv DeVoe!
  • At the beginning of the episode, Marge asks Homer to put the kids to bed before going to Moe's, so Homer does it in the most half-assed way possible: he puts Bart and his sisters in Bart's bed while they're still in their regular clothes, summarizes The Wizard of Oz as, "Everything after the tornado was a dream. The End," and finally just throws Bart's blanket over the kids' heads before leaving.

600 - Treehouse of Horror XXVII

A - Dry Hard

  • The sudden deaths of any child participant comes with a demeaning one-liner under their photos on the dome.
  • Springfield gets struck by a flood, but Lisa says it could be worse. Cue a new Ice Age.

B - BFF R.I.P.

  • Lisa's first friend is killed in less than 3 seconds once the lawnmower is turned on.
  • After Lisa's imaginary friend kills all of Lisa's friends, they name the graveyard the Lisa Simpson Wing.

C - MoeFinger

  • It's a pun, but it's a pretty funny one.
    Lenny: Hey Carl, how was Prague?
    Carl: Not bad. Of course, I had to cancel a few Czechs.
  • Bart's training: getting hit with a pool cue, then hitting someone back.

601 - Trust But Clarify

  • When Lisa tastes Krusty's new candy, she spits it out and it flies into Milhouse's mouth. When he claims it's like sharing a meal with her, Nelson hits him so he coughs it up, then eats it himself.
  • Bart's method to get to Krusty's factory.
    Bart: Otto, can you take us to the food processing district?
    Otto: No way, Bart dude.
    Bart: Hey Otto! I just remembered we have a field trip to the food processing district.
  • The Bizzfad parody news articles.
  • "Kent Brockman here, with a humble apology." Cut to graphic that reads "Apology of the Century".

602 - There Will Be Buds

  • The first Peewee football game of the season ends badly when the field is engulfed in dry ice fog and the players collide with each other in the chaos. In a spoof of the growing awareness of the dangers of concussions in football, the players' mothers all scoop them up in their arms and drive them full speed to the ER. As the doors open, they trample over Gil Gunderson (who has broken his leg and is walking on crutches) and Hans Moleman (who has a samurai sword sticking through his chest and out of his back). Sarah Wiggum declares that Ralph needs an MRI; unfortunately, Marge, Luann Van Houten, Bernice Hibbert, and Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon all get the same idea and join Sarah in trying to shove their sons into the MRI machine simultaneously, but only succeed in bonking their heads repeatedly against the outside (and probably aggravating any concussions they do have).
  • When the town decides to adopt lacrosse as the town's new sport as a safe alternative to football, Dr. Hibbert voices an objection that the other townsfolk misinterpret as a positive:
    Dr. Hibbert: Now hold on there! Lacrosse has the second highest concussion rate, right after football.
  • Pizza tastes sweeter after you win... because the bakers dump sugar into the dough.

603 - Havana Wild Weekend

  • The chalkboard gag after the 2016 election: "Being Right Sucks", referring to the season 11 episode "Bart to the Future", which said that Donald Trump had become President of the United States.
  • Homer is introduced to the biggest drug runner in American history, and he says it's a pleasure to meet him. The guy who invented Ticketmaster? A punch to the face.

604 - Dad Behavior

  • The opening sequence gives us Something Completely Different, and it all starts where Barney doesn't belch after Bart skateboards on top of him. Instead, he says, "Hey!" and breaks Bart's skateboard in two. Next, Homer accidentally swallows the plutonium rod that usually gets stuck to his back. Then, Lisa trips while playing her solo and doesn't get up. Finally, Maggie is actually driving the car, and drives it into a river bringing Marge with it. Finally, Bart arrives at the couch alone and replaces the rest of his family with pictures of them and gloats how he finally has control of the remote. Sure, it's a bit of a Tear Jerker, but you still have to appreciate the writers' rather macabre sense of humor. And it wasn't a Halloween show!
  • All of Homer stuck in his TV stand.
    Homer: (to the cat) Stop eating me. I'm not dead yet!
  • Moe uses Matt Leinhart as a bouncer... to throw customers into his bar instead of out.
  • The FBI hostage negotiator vs. Maggie regarding her pacifier use. Maggie wins.
  • Matt Leinhart giving Bart a football jersey with the name Simpson on it which Bart assumes Matt had it made just for him until Matt says it used to belong to O.J. (Simpson).

605 - The Last Traction Hero

  • When Homer is in a upper body cast, Bart decides to sign it right underneath his chin, so he can't read it. When Homer demands to know what it says, he says it starts with F and ends in CK. It says "Father Good Luck".
  • Mr. Burns is rehearsing for a court hearing, but can't stop trying to release the hounds.
  • Grampa tries to serve Homer and Marge hot soup. Three times a day. For six months.

606 - The Nightmare After Krustmas

  • Reverend Lovejoy believes that Springfield is a decent Christian town, despite having a pagan festival.
  • Krusty is convinced to convert to Judaism after seeing a vision of an angel in the window. Turns out to be Snake being tazed by police.
  • Maggie vs. the Gnome.

607 - Pork and Burns

  • Lisa's concern over her college fund and Homer's reluctance to talk about it:
    Lisa: I thought this meeting was to talk about reducing the carbon footprint of my college fund.
    Homer: Done!
  • Bart's prank on Skinner where he fills the car with Squishee.
    Skinner: Why'd I pick today to wear mother's blouse?
  • How does Homer convince Marge to let him keep Plopper?
    Homer: I'll give up beer.
    Marge: DEAL!

608/609 - The Great Phatsby

  • How cheap is Moe? He bought a suit, XEROXED IT, then returned it and wore the paper copy.
  • Homer's narration of how Burns hit rock bottom. From Bad to Worse indeed.
  • Smithers' adventures trying to get ice, the the style of The Revenant.
  • Who does Bart consult as the expert on early rap culture? A white nerd, Milhouse. After Milhouse's display of rap knowledge Homer shows the only thing he could remember is that "Milhouse = Bart's Bestfriend" (which he needed to write down).

610 - Fatzcarraldo

  • Mr. Burns gives everyone the day off, so he can hide dead in Christmas Decoration boxes.
  • Homer's flight from the DMV awards show.
    Homer: One guy from the memorial reel was ALIVE when it started!

    Marge: Homie, come back! You're the next presenter!
    Homer: The winner is me 'cause I'm leaving!
  • The overweight men successfully pull the hot dog cart up one hill à la Fitzcarraldo, only to realize there's a second, much steeper hill still awaiting them.
  • Lisa's interview with Nelson which includes the origins of "Haw-Haw" and its first victim... Milhouse.

611 - The Cad and the Hat

  • Mayor Quimby announces the lake is safe to swim in... because they lowered their standards.
  • Homer is revealed to be a chess savant.
    Bart: How does Dad know how to play chess? He can't remember the rules to Chutes and Ladders!
    Homer: YES I DO!
    Lisa: You think the ladders go down.
  • Lisa tells Bart that his guilt will turn into the worst thing he could imagine. Bart's guilt then turns into a math textbook.
  • Homer's last Skype chat with the Norwegian chess champion, Magnus Carlsen.
    Carlsen: Homer, stop calling. These Skype calls aren't free.
    Homer: Yes they are.
  • Homer's line of inner demons.

612 - Kamp Krustier

  • When Homer decides not to have sex, he becomes much more caring and attentive. Neither Abe nor Marge recognizes him.
  • When asked if the kids can keep a secret:
    Bart: I can, but Lisa can't.
    Lisa: I told you that in confidence!

613 - 22 for 30

  • Milhouse getting scared by the voice distortion to keep him anonymous.
  • Homer gets named basketball coach, then walks into a hoop and has no clue what it is.
  • Fat Tony's secret: he was the third-string shooting guard on the Springfield Little Debbies girl's basketball team.

614 - A Father's Watch

  • Homer becomes a trophy salesman to exploit Springfield's obsession with positive reinforcement. Unfortunately, he tries to sell them at a conference where Lisa brings in an expert to talk them out of it. This later comes back to bite her as Marge takes the message to heart, and throws out all of her trophies.
  • Bart tries to find the watch by tossing a rock off a cliff and having Milhouse find where it went. It hits him in the eye. Bart then decides to toss a bunch of rocks in different positions. They all hit Milhouse.
  • You're the worst around, everything's gonna keep you down.

615 - Caper Chase

  • Mr. Burns revisits Yale and finds himself at odds with its new liberal bent, with a preppy squash captain demanding excessive conditions for his donation. Ultimately, he decides to disassociate from the school.
    • And before this one of the Deans dropped this quote, complete with "Actual quote from Yale student" on the bottom of the screen.
      Dean: You'd be creating a space for violence to happen.
  • Low paid workers with a thankless job in a toxic environment: teacher or Springfield Nuclear Power Plant worker?
  • What happens when Homer reveals that he's teaching nuclear physics? Lisa becomes an alcoholic.
  • Someone decides to buy the college as long as Homer is included. Mr. Burns agrees but asks to get Homer's worth to the plant.
    Burns: OK, it seems I owe you a hundred thousand dollars.
  • Homer's last exchange with his class while flying away on a helicopter.
    Homer: I just want to say, every one of you gets an incomplete.
  • Smithers having imagine spot of Mr Burns doing Full Monty.
    Burns: What are you laughing at? Does the Full Monty have some sort of naughty double meaning?
    Smithers: (images Burns dancing naked with "You sexy thing" playing in the background) If only.

616 - Looking for Mr. Goodbart

  • The parody Pokemon Go fad has some great lines, though the best was when people were playing in church.
    Comic Book Guy: Hey, this game is, or was, bigger than Jesus.
    Lovejoy: That's a pretty low bar nowadays.
  • The scene in the Kwik-E-Mart was good too.
    Flanders: Hey, this creature in the game kinda looks like your God.
    Apu:' (incensed) Well, this homeless wino looks kinda like YOUR God.

617 - Moho House

  • Homer has to let Marge know he has to go drinking with his boss' English friend. He decides to text her pics of an English flag, beer and a bus.
  • Smithers gives Homer a gift so that he can give it to Marge, but she realizes immediately it didn't come from him.
    Homer: Can't you at least open it so I can find out what it is?
  • At the end, it's revealed that Burns has just been hallucinating the wager he made with his English friend until it turns out that Smithers just lied to him as payback for using him as a wager.

618 - Dogtown

  • The entirety of the Simpsons visiting Gil in the hospital, especially with Bart posing as a nurse.
    Homer: Boy, the "putting him in a coma" plan was just dinner table talk. I never signed off on it.
    Bart: Well, I need to put something in a coma. (jabs needle into Homer)
  • The kids are worried about being put in foster homes, until they fantasize about it. Even though Bart's fantasy ends with him dead after selling both his kidneys.
  • Springfield isn't on any maps. Apparently, Rand-Mc Nally doesn't know what state they're in.
  • When the dog collapses halfway through the doggie door, Homer uses Snowball II to bring him the rest of the way in, despite her clawing and biting him. Why?
    Homer: Well, well, look what the cat dragged in?
    Bart and Lisa: Worth it.
  • Dogs eventually try to take over the town. Santa's Little Helper decides to join them.
    Bart: No boy, resist the Call of the Wild, just like I did when they assigned that book for summer reading.

    Season 29 

619 - The Serfsons

  • Even in a medieval world, Bart still manages to prank Moe.
  • Marge's mom dated and got bit by an "ice walker"; when they broke up, he starts flirting with a hanged corpse. And it could talk.
    Ice Walker: Hey there, sweet thang! What time they be cutting you down? Oh, baby!
  • A religious figure comes to talk to Marge about her mother dying... Azzlan.
  • When the last dragon dies, all magic fades away from the world. As Lisa starts to proclaim the benefits of technology, Homer tries to revive the dragon by starting a fire in its mouth. He does.

620 - Springfield Splendor

  • Lisa's reaction when she sees that Kumiko has made her art therapy into a manga
    Lisa: Mom, do I have permission to swear?
    Marge: OK, as long as it's tier one.
    Lisa: Damn it! It didn't work; can I go to tier two?
    Marge: I'm afraid not.
    Lisa: DAMN IT!
  • Marge fails the Bechdel Test.
  • "I'm haunted by visions of Milhouse!"
  • During Lisa's first therapy session, there is a book on the shelf written by Dr. Marvin Monroe titled Did I Die or Not?

621 - Whistler's Father

  • When Bernice Hibbert likens the Simpsons' decor to a circus and Luann Van Houten snarks that an elephant does live there, Marge tries to defend Homer but fails:
    Marge: Are you calling my husband an elephant?
  • Bart feels left out after the family learns about Maggie's whistling talent.
    Homer: Well, birds like you.
    Bart: Yeah, but they also like Grandpa.
  • How do Marge and Homer deal with their individual secrets (Homer entering whistling prodigy Maggie into a toddler talent contest, Marge accepting an interior decorating commission from Fat Tony that turns out to involve converting the old Post Office to a brothel)?
    Homer: Marge, how would you feel if I kept a big secret from you?
    Marge: Well, how would you feel if I kept a big secret from you?
    Both: GOOD NIGHT!
  • Lisa discovers Maggie's talent for whistling when she hears her in the middle of the night, and is initially put out by the thought that she isn't the most gifted Simpson child anymore, but she reasons there's nothing that says they can't both be talented...
    Lisa: No. No. I will not get caught in that trap that only one of us is good! We can both be good! Like the South Park guys... except Trey does everything. TREY DOES EVERYTHING!note 
    [she begins panting, and flees the room to catch her breath; Maggie smirks and whistles an arpeggio]
    Lisa: [glaring at Maggie's doorway] Diva.
  • Everyone in the family seems to have a secret...
    Bart: Why is everyone being so weird? Did the principal call? [quickly] 'Cause he's got nothing to call about! [his phone buzzes; he answers it to see a dishevelled-looking Milhouse]
    Milhouse: [a mountain lion growls in the background] I can't keep this mountain lion in my bedroom forever, Bart.
    Bart: Just four more days! [the mountain lion growls and knocks off Milhouse's glasses as Bart hangs up]
  • Lisa quips to Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II that it seems everyone has a secret except the three of them. As she turns away, the two pets exchange a look, smile knowingly, and start kissing each other.

622 - Treehouse of Horror XXVIII

A - The Sweets Hereafter

  • With all the Simpsons as chocolate bars (except Lisa as an apple), Lisa can't listen to Homer eating a chocolate rabbit. So he eats the mouth.

B - The Exor-Sis

  • Homer orders Maggie her first Pazuzu. Why? He thought it was pizza.
  • The entirety of possessed Maggie ruining Marge's dinner party. Especially when she kills Helen Lovejoy.
    Marge: (sincere) Thank you.

C - Coralisa

  • Why don't the Simpsons have smoke alarms?
    Homer: Smoke is its own alarm.
  • Lisa and Bart eventually go to the other world.
    Marge: How can you be so carefree? I bore both those children.
    Homer: Marge, I don't listen to a lot of your stories, but I wouldn't call them boring.

D - MMM...Homer

  • Bart's reaction to Homer cooking himself to death.
    Bart: I call the brain! (served as an hors d'oeuvre)

623 - Grampy Can You Hear Me

  • How poor is Grandpa's hearing? He listens to music so loud, even a school for the deaf tells them to turn it down.
  • Grandpa gets a birthday wish!
    Abe: Why don't you just drop dead?
    Retiree: Fine. I will! (dies)
  • Lisa makes a mistake on her homework, and begs Bart to break her into school to change it.
    Lisa: Please, I'll do your homework!
    Bart: Why? From the sound of it, you can't even do your own homework.
    Lisa: Ouch.
    • Bart eventually agrees to break Lisa in.
    Marge: Who's breaking into the school?
    Lisa: Bart's talking in his sleep.
    Marge: I choose to believe that! Good Night!
  • Bart and Lisa find Skinner living in the school basement. Despite not wanting to hear the story, he decides to explain everything.
  • Mrs. Skinner rents out a room to Barney, the town (and state) drunk.
    Barney: Alright, I got a baby brother!
    Skinner: He's not staying with us, is he?
    Agnes: I'll let you two work it out.

624 - The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be

  • A stranger effectively avoids the out of control monorail by sliding down a powerline... straight into a cactus patch.
  • The major problem facing exotic pet owners: the food chain. Cue Lenny's crocodile eating Drederick Tatum's impala.
  • This bit of Lampshade Hanging on news reports for the show, and most shows in general.
    Kent: In other news, due to budget cuts, all news reports have been shortened to two sentences each.
  • The entire scene with Krusty roasting Homer at the charity dinner.

625 - Singin' in the Lane

  • Lisa's favorite Chinese food: Pacifist Tao's tofu
  • Marge tells Homer to listen to his heart.
    Homer: Not that guy.
    Homer's Heart: I'm numb. Chest pains!
  • The entirety of the bowling montage. Highlights include the Sidekicks Team (Milhouse, Smithers, Lou the Cop and Sideshow Mel) being pulled away by their "bosses," Lisa and Bart's flags supporting the team (Always Supported You for the former, Jumped on the Bandwagon for the latter), and the Gatorade cooler filled with extra bowling balls.
  • Marge tries to teach Bart that money won't make him happy.
    Marge: No.

626 - Ms. Lisa's Opus

  • Maggie's pacifier sucking is stronger than a vacuum.
  • When future Lisa mentions a quality of hers that makes her strong, Bart chimes in with "A voice that would make a rhino want to shove its horn in a socket?"
    Lisa: Rhinos are extinct, Bart.
    Bart: Not hippos, though. I just one in a white shirt and blue pants.
    Homer: HEY!
    • Although this becomes less funny when the northern white rhinoceros was declared functionally extinct, after the last male of the subspecies died.
  • Ralph never graduated from second grade.
    Ralph: I'm bigger than the teacher. I broke my desk and she cried.
  • Homer's rapid progression through the 12 (cut down to 9) step program.
  • Maggie decides to encourage Lisa with a sign held-up in the car: "You Speak For Me."

627 - Gone Boy

  • Chief Wiggum tries to console Marge after Bart goes missing:
    Wiggum: Can you describe your son's skeleton?
  • He then sets up a grid to find Bart. Unfortunately, he sets up a physical grid, causing all of the searchers to trip and hurt themselves. He then calls in an ambulance, which also hits the grid and flips over.
  • Bart finds a working phone in the bunker he's trapped in ... which he wastes on a call to Moe's.
  • Milhouse finds Bart and throws his phone into the bunker. The phone hits the ground and promptly shatters.
  • Bob hears that the town is calling off the search for Bart assuming he's dead.
    Bob: Why do you keep killing things I want to kill? Take me now vile rake!
  • Bob speaks with a prison therapist, who tells him to cut a picture of Bart out, symbolically cutting him out of his life. Bob refuses to give up looking for Bart, deciding to hunt for him. He then stabs the therapist and escapes.
    • We later see him in the hospital with a cast on his leg. Bob calls him to ask about his life goals.
    Therapist: Bob, so good to hear from you. I so rarely hear from my patient's after they leave me to die.
  • Santa's Little Helper is given Bart's sock and trails the scent... right to Bart's sock drawer.
  • Bart listens to Kennedy's famous speech about what you can do for your country.
  • The running gag with the hunter trying to shoot things and being told off.
    Hunter: This is the last time I go hunting with my lawyer.

628 - Haw Haw Land

  • Lisa tries to keep the momentum for her romantic moments.
    Willie: Dead gophers coming through!
    Lisa: NOTHING!
  • Homer tries to get into Bart's treehouse.
    Homer: Oh god, why is it so high? I can't breathe.
    Bart: Dad, you haven't even started climbing.
    Homer: I have to visualize first.
  • Lisa's new love interest tries to use a credit card with a chip in it to buy for ice cream. At the same time, Nelson starts approaching the store with the bullies. The card is still reading.
    Lisa: Just give the ice cream back!
    Squeaky Voiced Teen: No! It was really hard to scoop!

629 - Frink Gets Testy

  • Chalkboard Gag: "Strangling is not an effective parenting tool," written by Homer with Bart presiding.
  • Burns becomes worried by news of an apocalypse.
    Burns: Smithers, release the comforting hounds. (cut to sheepdogs cuddling Burns) Aww, now make them into rugs.
  • Bart finds out his score on the town test was... poor.
    Bart: I don't need tests. I'm street smart!
    • Cut to Bart running out the door... only to be run over by Nelson on his bike.
  • What are Abe's plans to keep helping Homer?
    Grandpa: My will is 38 pages of me yelling at you!
  • Lisa is also upset that her score that her test score was lower than Ralph Wiggum.
    Lisa: (fiddling with her pearls) I'm not dumber than Ralph. (necklace breaks) I'm NOT dumber than RALPH! (tries to run off, but slips on pearls)
  • Marge goes to Frink to complain about Bart's score, so he takes another look.
    Frink: You're right. B. Simpson has above-average intelligence.
    Homer: Way to go, boy!
    Frink: The real dumb-dumb is H. Simpson. Worst handwriting and brain in town.
    Homer: D'oh!

630 - Homer Is Where The Art Isn't

  • Homer's accused of stealing a painting he was obsessed with. His defense:
    Homer: OK! I was obsessed. I would've done anything to get that painting. Lie, steal, even kill. Well, not kill. But I would steal it, then lie about it. But I didn't steal it and I'm not lying. Now believe me, or I'll kill you!
  • Marge then goes to try and convince the detective in charge of the case Homer's innocent.
    Manacek: Well, I'll give you a chance to convince me... over dinner.
    Marge: OK (cuts to a messy dinner with kids and pets) More frito pie?
    Manacek: (disapppointed) Sure.
  • People protesting the closing of the Springfield Museum: art lovers and homeless bathroom users.
  • Detective Manacek eventually starts accusing people to reveal how they stole it. He first accuses the guest star, then Mr. Burns
    Burns: (grabs gun)
    Smithers: Not yet, sir.
    • How does Manacek deal with people pointing guns at him? Punch to the jaw.

631 - 3 Scenes and a Tag from a Marriage

  • The spoof of Marvel post-credits sequence. Including the revelation that Uncle Ben was alive the whole time... and EVIL!
  • Kirk pulls a down low, too slow on Bart. He retaliates by jabbing him with a toothpick.
  • Homer gets fired for choosing family over his company.
    Bart: You chose money over me? (slaps him)
    Homer: I deserve that. (Maggie slaps him too) And that.
  • Side effects of a second child: loss of money, loss of hair and loss of sleep. Do not have a second child if you have heart problems, are pregnant or want to keep your second bedroom. In rare cases, sibling rivalry may occur.
  • At Lisa's birth, Bart becomes a much calmer child. Doesn't stop him from stabbing Homer with an IV full of pain killers.
    Dr. Hibbert: Well, someone's gonna need four months rehab, hee-hee. Not covered by your insurance plan.

632 - Fears of a Clown

  • Bart attempts to hit Skinner with a slingshot. Skinner, however, anticipates this and uses a trash can to redirect it... right into his mother.
  • When Bart initially gets the chance to hit Skinner:
    Bart: There is a god, and his name is the Devil.
  • Homer's reaction to Bart's peanut brittle snake can.
    Homer: Oh, the snakes ate all the peanut brittle.
  • The scene where the therapist doesn't fall for Bart's "tacks on the chair" prank and manipulates the boy into changing his ways by inviting Marge to take a seat, especially with the dramatic music playing while we see close-ups of Marge's butt slowly descending towards the tacks on the chair.

633 - No Good Read Goes Unpunished

  • Bookacino's most hated word: "Amazon."
    • Comic Book Guy also complains that their electronic reader auto-corrects complaints to praise, ie. excrement to excellent.
  • Marge tries to get Lisa into her favorite book, only to find it suffers from Values Dissonance. What she does she find appropriate? Irish stereotypes
  • Bart reads the Art of War and applies its teachings to Homer.
    Homer: You really think you can control me?
    Bart: Malted Milk Ball! (throws it into the swamp and Homer dives for it)

634 - King Leer

  • Bart learns that if he damages the violin the school loaned him, Homer would have to pay. Cue montage of him abusing it to drive Homer crazy.
    • At one point, he uses it as a bat in baseball, causing Homer to tackle Nelson (the pitcher), only to get beat up.
    • Eventually, Homer goes crazy and destroys the violin himself. He decides to celebrate by going to Moe's
      Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
      Homer: I'm going to do to my brain what I just did to your dreams for our son.
  • Homer tries to drive home via breathing into a tube, but his blood alcohol was 0.09. He decides to use a local dog to blow; it's level was 0.12
  • Homer and Marge confront Moe about his father.
    Moe: My family is involved in a very evil business.
    Homer: Illegal drugs?
    Moe: Worse!
    Homer: Prescription drugs?
    Moe: Well, not that bad.
  • Bart and Lisa's reaction to Moe's brother and sister.
    Bart: I'm not seeing the ugly, but I'm feeling it.
    Lisa: That girl's eating Chinese food with scissors!
  • Marge gets involved in Moe's family, and it eventually goes bad. When she asks why someone didn't warn her, Homer has to choke himself to stop saying "I told you so."
  • What convinces Marty (Moe's father) to get involved in his kids' war? One sibling offered a FREE mattress if a customer burned Moe.

635 - Lisa Gets the Blues

  • Homer writes another chalkboard gag: "I will not bet with Bart on the Final Four." as Bart watches.
  • Marge tries to reassure Lisa:
    Marge: You know, when I was young, I had a dream to marry a prince, and it actually came true.
  • After Lisa can no longer play her sax, she tries to look up her symptoms online. She has the yips, ADHD is Bart, OCD is Marge and Homer has everything else.
  • Bart stimulating an airline riot by kicking the seat, knocking over three patients.
  • New Orleans: #1 in Liver Transplants
  • Bart and Marge try to find something to do together.
    Marge: There's lot to learn in the Historical Garden District
    Bart: Learn? Historical? Garden? District? Which of those words did you think would apply to me?
    • Eventually, Marge shows Bart a voodoo shop.
      Bart: Voodoo? Cool! I always read signs better when they're dripping blood.
      Marge: OK, Bart. You can shop in there, and I'll pray for you in here (goes into a church)
  • Homer tries to cheer Lisa up by taking her to a bar. He tries to fool the bouncer with a Legoland license.
    Bouncer: Eh, better than his. (Homer's license: Suspended. Weight is a lie)
  • Bart tries to use voodoo on the bullies while they play hacky sack. It doesn't work, until they learn he's using New Orleans voodoo. Jimbo misses his kick, and kicks Dolph in the groin.
  • Milhouse wants to know if Lisa misses him while in New Orleans:
    Bart: I told you, give up on Lisa. Wait for Maggie.
    Milhouse: Bart, come on. I'd have to be pretty pathetic to... wait, Maggie likes me? (cut to Maggie rapidly shaking her head, and damaging a voodoo doll of Milhouse)
  • While Lisa being reassured by Bleeding Gums' nephew was Heartwarming, it did veer into funny with this.
    Nephew: He always said you were the most talented young musician he ever met.
    Lisa: Really?
    Nephew: It was kinda an insult to me, but he was always kind of passive aggressive.

636 - Forgive and Regret

  • Homer sells the car to a demolition derby driver, who gives him free tickets for the family.
    Bart: Wait, this is always the point where Lisa ruins it.
    Lisa: Actually, I don't mind. It helps people get out their anger, and it destroys carbon producing cars.
    Bart: See, ruined?
  • Grandpa joins them on the trip. To cut off his rambling, he uses a partition to silence him
    Marge: When did you put that in?
    Homer: Worth every penny, eh?
    Marge: How many pennies was it?
    • Cue Homer hitting a button to put up a SECOND partition between him and Marge
  • Dr. Hibbert comes in after Grandpa is hospitalized
    Hibbert: We tried everything we could... and the last thing we tried worked!
  • Lisa doesn't want to listen to Homer and Abe fight, so Bart advises her to leave her body. She does, only for Bart to take advantage of it by slapping her face.

637 - Left Behind

  • Homer tries to pay for a violinist for his and Marge's date.
    Homer: Play the violin.
    Waiter: Sir, I'm just the waiter.
    Homer: I said PLAY!
    • The waiter starts playing poorly, until Homer tips him some more and his skills rapidly improve.
  • Flanders makes Homer his famous cocoa from the movie, but the shot widens to show it was made directly in his mouth.
  • Flanders becomes the new head of Human Resources at the nuclear plant, much to everyone else's disappointment.
    Carl: Homer, did you get him this job?
    Homer: NO! I just told him how to apply.
    Carl: Did you put in a good word?
    Homer: No, I didn't say anything.
  • Todd decides to talk to Lisa.
    Todd: You're a really good artist, Lisa!
    Lisa: Thanks, Todd!
    Lisa: (affronted) Uh, so is snitching to God!
  • Ned looks for a sign in the sky to decide what to do with his life, and sees the words "We Need Your Help," which he interprets as teaching. It's actually coming from the Duff blimp going down in flames.
    Duffman: He's looking directly at us, and doing nothing. Duffman hates Duffmankind!
  • When Flanders orders the other power plant employees to pray during lunch, Homer asks if doing so would interrupt God's lunchtime. God is shown eating a sandwich and remarking "Finally, someone thinks about God".

638 - Throw Grandpa from the Dane

  • Gil goes out of business after he has to pay out the Simpsons' insurance claim.
    Gil: Don't worry. There's plenty of places for ol'Gil to go. Unemployment line, coffin... oh, who am I kidding? I don't make coffin money.
  • During the trip to Denmark, the family stops by the statue of the Little Mermaid. Bart only knows the Disney adaptation.
    Tour Guide: She was actually a very tragic figure.
    Tour Guide: There was no crab!
    Bart: Oh, he was the only funny one in the movie.
  • Bart hijacks Lisa's fantasy about marrying the Prince of Denmark, inserting himself as a ninja who saves Lisa from a sniper's bullet.
    Lisa: Bart, get out of my fantasy!
    Bart: Aw geez, I saved your life! How about a "you're welcome"?
  • The family sees a sign saying "Fart Kontrol", which causes Bart and Homer to laugh. Even Lisa finds it somewhat funny.
    Marge: I apologize for my husband. In our language, it means something else.
    Tour Guide: Yes, I know. I'm speaking to you in your language.
  • The Failure Montage of Grandpa trying to be admitted to the hospital.
  • "We've got to get back to America, the greatest country on Earth... 1917 to 2016."
  • Homer refuses to live in Denmark. How do the kids replace him? A fat cat that lives in the apartment.

639 - Flanders Ladder

  • Bart's scare video prank on Lisa, which causes her to fall into Bart's laundry.
    Lisa: I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I will get my revenge, Bart!
    Bart: Will you be wearing my underwear when you do? (cue Lisa freaking out)
  • When the internet goes down, Homer wants to steal the router from Flanders' attic. Unfortunately, he's too heavy for the ladder, so he wants Bart to do it.
    Bart: I'm scared.
    Homer: Scared? What are we giving you drugs for?
  • The entire bit with the psychiatrist Bart visits after he starts seeing ghosts. He's just so relieved that his patient isn't Milhouse.
    Bart: I'm afraid you'll put me in the loony bin.
    Homer: Bart, there are no more loony bins. Those people are all out on the streets now.
  • The final montage of how many of the Simpsons cast will die according to Bart's coma induced hallucinations.
    • Smithers (aged 50) jumps into the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's cooling tower after reading a Peephole magazine article about Mr. Burns marrying a woman; the cooling tower expels a heart-shaped cloud of smoke that breaks in half.
    • Homer (aged 59) is mistakenly shot by police after exiting a (food) bank with a submarine sandwich in a bag that looks like a gun. Chief Wiggum (aged 62) then picks up the sandwich and chokes to death on his first bite.
    • Marge (aged 84) marries Flanders after Homer's death, and expires peacefully while drinking tea with him. Cut to Flanders hanging her picture next to those of Maude and Edna Krabappel... then the view widens to reveal the other wives he has outlived, who include almost every regular or recurring female character in the series, including Sarah Wiggum, Lunchlady Doris Freedman, Luann Van Houten, Agnes Skinner, Helen Lovejoy, Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon, Brandine Spuckler, Selma and Patty Bouvier, Cookie Kwan, Eleanor Abernathy (AKA "Crazy Cat Lady"), and dozens more.
    • Principal Skinner (aged 119) dies of a heart attack after Bart sets off fireworks that spell out "SKINNER SUCKS". His wheelchair then rolls over and kills Bart (aged 80).
    • Lisa (aged 98) sits in a temple to meditate, and suddenly declares that she realises "this has all been a waste of time" before keeling over dead.
    • Ralph Wiggum (aged 120) becomes an evil king who is poisoned by one of his descendants.
    • And Maggie becomes one with the universe, thereby living forever.

    Season 30 

640 - Bart's Not Dead

  • Bart tries to convince his mom that he went to heaven after a stupid dare.
    Bart: I saw clouds, harps, Abe Lincoln
    Homer: It sounds like Heaven. Were there any other presidents there, boy?
    Bart: No.
    Homer: It WAS Heaven!
    • Marge isn't convinced, so Bart says he saw her father.
    Marge: Tell me something he said that only I would recognize.
    Bart: He thinks Homer is an idiot. (Marge lights up in belief!)
  • Bart gets approached by a movie industry for his story.
    Reverend: Hello, Bart. We're a Christian movie group.
  • Emily Deschenel auditions for Marge, confusing Homer so much that he continues to think she is Marge.
  • The entirety of the movie made about Bart's lie. It's just so over-the-top and ridiculous.

641 - Heartbreak Hotel

  • The montage of Homer and Marge's tryouts for "The Amazing Place." After 46 tries, Marge's last video is just this.
    Marge: (exhausted) We have no idea what you want. Please just pick us!
  • Bart and Lisa decide to enroll their parents in the show, feeling that their sad story will help convince the production team to take them. It works once the producers realize they can milk it...except for one
    Producer #2: I don't know. It feels a little manipulative.
    Lead Producer: You're fired.
    • A bit more disturbing, but when the lead first sees Bart and Lisa, she endorses them on the spot thinking their a pair of married kids.
  • While Homer and Marge are on the show, Bart has his friends dig a pool. Lisa threatens to tell Patty and Selma, only to find they're in on it.
  • Marge eventually learns that Homer was the one who messed up on the show and got them eliminated. He offers to sleep on the couch as punishment. Unfortunately, it's a hotel couch so it's right next to the bed.

642 - My Way or the Highway to Heaven

  • The entire opening of Homer becoming lost in the Bob's Burgers restaurant. Especially when the kids decide to name Homer "Bob One."
    Bob: Wait, why am I Bob 2?
  • Ned tries to educate the kids about Heaven.
    Ralph: Do the people my daddy shoots go to heaven?
    Ned: If they haven't done anything wrong, so most of them yes.
    • The kids then fantasize about how to get into heaven. Most are innocuous. Bart? Deathbed repentance.
  • In Marge's story about her grandmother, she describes how she helped hide American soldiers from Nazi troops. Unfortunately, the Germans here them speaking and investigate.
    Lenny: Oh no! We're in a worse predicament the the '32 Cubs.
    Mel: I'm not a sports guy. Can you use an art metaphor?
  • At the end of the episode, God declares that all souls with good intentions are welcome in Heaven. Cue most good Simpsons characters appearing...except
    St. Peter: Oh, you were Smithers' plus one.

643 - Treehouse of Horror XXIX

Opening

  • Homer defeats Cthulhu in an eating contest and gets to name his prize... eating Cthulhu himself.
  • This hilarious Take That! when the family learns the eating contest is a sham:
    Fisherman: You are here to be sacrificed to an evil god from the ocean depths.
    Homer (fearfully) : SpongeBob?

A - Invasion of the Pod-y Snatchers

  • Bart worries that people are acting strangely due to being replaced by pod people. He notices Homer drooling and staring.
    Bart: Thank god you're OK.
  • When Marge's pod replacement tries to attack the kids, Maggie smashes her with a shovel.
    Lisa: Gee Maggie, you're sure carrying a lot of resentment towards Mom.
    Maggie: (captions) So sick of Goodnight Moon!

B - MultipLISA-ty

  • Lisa drugs Bart, Milhouse and Nelson to trap them. Bart and Milhouse pass out first. Nelson stays awake long enough to rob them both.
  • Bart and Nelson try to break down the door to their cage...using Milhouse
    Bart: Come on Milhouse, use your brain! The door isn't even cracking.
    Nelson: Wait, we were trying to open the door?
  • What drove Lisa to insanity? Bart found a piece of her homework her teacher dropped, changed it and laughed about it with the guys.

C - Geriatric Park

644 - Baby You Can't Drive My Car

  • Homer gets fired, again. He decides to tell off Mr. Burns as he leaves.
    Homer: You are a crazy wrinkly short piece of garbage.
  • Bart can't understand anything happening in the new facility. He asks Lisa and gets a surprising answer.
    Lisa: I don't know.
    Bart: You don't know? You're as stupid as I am! You're as stupid as I am!
    Homer: Kids, you're both stupid in your own special ways!
    Lisa: WHAT?! Bart's much stupider than I am.
  • Skinner and his mother are driving around in a smart car, with Agnes continuing to torment her son. He asks what to do with her... so the car drives to an assisted suicide facility.

645 - From Russia Without Love

  • Homer has to dis-invite Moe from his Thanksgiving dinner.
    Moe: This is how you tell me? In person? Gently? With plenty of notice?
  • Moe manages to turn one of Bart's prank call back on him.
  • Nelson insists that his father left to colonize Mars [[and that's why he can't call or write.]] As proof, he offers a Mars bar.
    Bart: That's just a stupid candy bar.
    Nelson: I need this Bart!
    Bart: Fine. He's on Mars.
    Nelson: Ha Ha! You're an enabler.
  • Moe's mail order bride tries to spruce up the restaurant.
    Moe: Wow, I haven't seen this many flowers since my mother died. She was hit by a flower truck.
  • The success of It (2017) hasn't helped Krusty.

646 - Werking Mom

  • Julio claims that all of the top Tupperware salespeople are drag queens. Several links fly past the screen to confirm this.
  • Lisa wants to try and make amends between Skinner and his mother. She's planning to put a phony diary in his drawer, but will need to break into his house.
    Bart: Here's a key to his house, here's a floor plan for his house, and here's a can of tuna. I'm trying to make his cat really fat.
  • Marge becomes more self-confident from pretending to be a drag queen. Lisa warns Bart that she grew a backbone, causing him to panic and put back some Whiskey he was trying to shoplift.
  • When Lisa feels down about failing to help out people, Lunchlady Doris surprises her with a message in her tater tots, which tells her to meet some people who are grateful for her help. Her message for Nelson? "You're expelled."
  • Homer feels awful for ruining Marge's work as a drag queen. When Moe gives him a suggestion, he chugs his beer and runs out.
    Moe: Why do people always run out without paying their tab?
    Barney: I don't know, but as God as my witness, I will find out! (chugs a beer and leaves)
    Moe: (Holding Lenny and Carl at gunpoint) You two are staying right there!

647 - Krusty the Clown

  • How does Marge react to Lisa's job as a TV reviewer?
    Marge: Well, sometimes I wonder if I'm reacting wrongly to TV shows I like.
  • Lisa passes off the job to Homer, who eventually starts reviewing the Krusty Show. This eventually leads up to Krusty trying to kill Homer in a car chase. Homer... continues to review Krusty.
    Homer: Krusty's trying to kill me, which will be the first time he's killed in years!
    Homer: Krusty tried to strangle me, but I'm still alive. C+
    • Also has this slight in-joke
    Krusty: Say you like my show again!
  • Krusty's circus act where he's bounced around like a ball by seals... until the last one just bites him.
  • Eventually, the circus shuts down.
    Bart: If the circus shuts down, where am I supposed to run away to? College?!
  • Krusty eventually goes to trial for his attempted murder. He's found not guilty, because everyone thinks it was self-defense to try and kill someone for a bad TV review.

648 - Daddicus Finch

  • When Lisa reads To Kill a Mockingbird, Homer tries to provide commentary on the book.
    Homer: Just remember, it was written a long time ago in the South. The horrible racism you're reading about is now everywhere.
  • Bart claims he's Maggie's hero, only for her to hug Santa's Little Helper. When Bart tries to claim he's Maggie's human hero, she hugs Grandpa.
    Bart: Well, I'm your living human hero.
    Grandpa: Are you saying I'm dead? Put up your dukes! (Bart does so) Now put up MY dukes! (Bart helps him with it) Now put down your dukes. (Bart does so, and Abe punches him).
  • Homer runs around with Lisa on his shoulders. Bart gets jealous and so Marge tries the same with him. All he gets is hairballs.
  • The school therapist has only 45 seconds for each student due to budget cutbacks. His advice for Bart... act out. Marge... don't have any more children. Maggie... he'll see her in 3 years.
  • To make it up to Bart, Marge decides to let him do anything he wants. She advises him to take his time to decide, so he does. He eventually decides when he's elderly and in a nursing home.

649 - Tis the 30th Season

  • Bart and Lisa pester their parents for a smart TV. Bart makes sense, but why is Lisa insistent?
    Lisa: I just want one other smart thing in this house.
  • When they can't afford the smart TV, a commercial comes on their original describing a huge sale on Black Friday.
    Homer: You really aren't a smart TV. You just told us the perfect way to replace you.
  • Marge assembles a Dancing Santa toy and inadvertently has it set on Norwegian.
    Santa toy: [Norwegian accent] Hoy hoy hoy. I ride on a pig. Don’t forget to leave me porridge.
  • Homer reveals that Marge is normally only as happy as the saddest person in the house. Cue him, Bart and Maggie looking at Lisa.
  • After staying at a crappy hotel to try and cheer up Marge, the kids complain to the manager. She just sprays them with ammonia.
    Lisa: At least something in the hotel's clean!
  • The family eventually leaves to head home, but Bart decides to try and get the money back. He leaves a bunch of amusement park robots in the manager's room, which works.
  • On the route home, they drive past a church marquee, changing "A New Star Was Risen" to "New Star Wars," prompting a huge rush of people to run in. The priest sees this and decides to lock the doors.
  • They later see the first snowfall and try to catch it, not seeing it's asbestos.

650 - Mad About the Toy

  • When Grandpa babysits the kids, Lisa begs Bart to find a way to shut off his oldtime program. Bart does so, by eating the batteries.
  • The kids want to play Monopoly, only to find Homer took out all the cash and left an IOU.
    Homer: Park the car, my man. Here's a tip.
    Wise Guy: Sir, this is monopoly money.
    Homer: Here's a hundred.
    Wise Guy: Yes, sir!
  • Abe freaks out after seeing army men, prompting him to go to a psychiatric hospital.
    Abe: I'm not crazy. I'm as sane as the next guy!
    Marge: Grandpa, there's no one there.
  • Abe tries to celebrate the end of the war by re-creating the V-Day kiss. He gets punched out.
    Nurse: The war ended two years ago, you creep!
  • Grandpa argues with the MSNBC host about the show last word, with both insisting on getting the actual last word.
  • The family takes a trip around New York. The eventually go to a candy factory, with each member with a huge bag of candy. Homer takes an actor in an M&M suit.
  • The family goes to see the toy company which cheated Grandpa out some money. While there, he engages in 50s style sexual harrassment of his secretary.
    Lisa: Haven't you ever tried telling him off?
    Secretary: No, but I spike his coffee with mercury.
  • When the family later has to drive through Texas, they see a few signs. "Don't mess with Texas. Do mess with Oklahoma!"

651 - The Girl on the Bus

  • Lisa asks about her new friend's mother's career.
    Mother: I'm a marine biologist. I was in an improv group, and fell in love with the work.
  • Lisa jumps through hoops to find ways to describe her family. When she gets to Bart, she says he doesn't exist.
    Bart: That's my kind of life!
  • The couch gag has Thanos on the family couch, who proceeds to use Maggie's pacifier as an Infinity Stone. He then dusts the rest of the family, with Maggie joining him on the couch, and the Infinity Gauntlet sucking the pacifier.

652 - I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can

  • When Bart and Lisa try to watch the Stranger Things parody which Marge asked Homer not to, he immediately tries to find something else. The next thing on Netflix? Bojack Horseman parody
    Homer: Too depressing.
  • Netflix also had these shows as similar to "80s show with a monster:" ALF, Roseanne, Moonlighting, The Cosby Show.
  • What does Marge watch when Homer's not around? His vitals
  • The last time Homer and Marge tried dancing, they went to a rave. What happened when Homer tried to do the worm? He broke his neck.
  • Lisa gets moved to tears by her parents' reconciliation dance. Bart's reaction?:
    Bart: I got a run of 89 (in paddleball)
    Lisa: You just missed one of the most beautiful moments in Mom and Dad's life!
    Bart: Run of 89's pretty good.

653 - The Clown Stays in the Picture

  • Krusty's dream plan to break up Homer and Marge: re-create the house stunt from Buster Keaton, with only Marge fitting in the window hole.
  • Homer gets all the dangerous jobs on set: stunt double, searching for random objects in the desert, and telling the crew that there are no more breakfast burritos.
  • The cactus hallucination scene
  • The movie crew tries to rescue Homer after he gets kidnapped. Unfortunately, all they have are movie props. They don't work well against real guns.

654 - 101 Mitigations

  • Homer tries to tell his kids not to take advantage of loopholes, only to immediately see that a restaurant gave him a new car.
  • After the joyride, the family has to return the car.
    Homer: Now kids, you're about to learn that any joyful time will have consequences.
    Bart: We know. Why do you think we were born?
  • Homer trying to plead his case to Judge Snyder, saying he only stole the car to spend time with his kids.
    Snyder: Now look here, I'm a judge!... But I'm also a father... A father whose ex-wife only lets him see his kids on summers and Christmas.
    • Ultimately, his pleading fails
    Homer: I'm not the one on trial here!
    Snyder: Yes, you are!
  • Guillermo del Toro's love of monsters even extends to Mr. Burns
  • The family tries to make a video showing how well loved Homer is. It requires some editing.
    • After it looks like it fails, Bart shows Lisa a drawing of possible future fathers: Flanders, Bumblebee Man and Selma
  • After Homer and Comic Book Guy resolve their issues, Homer wants to know if he's still going to prison. Comic Book Guy instead invites him to Comic-Con
    Homer: Is prison still an option?
  • The epilogue: Bart tries to use his own mitigation video to convince Skinner to let him leave detention. Skinner refuses, but Bart left while he was watching.

655 - I Want You (She's So Heavy)

  • Bart draws another tournament bracket with Simpsons' characters for the chalkboard gag.
  • Homer and Marge are wearing mikes from when they pretend to be guest speakers when they fall down the stairs. Their moans are mistaken for...something else.
    Concert Attendee: I guess we should stop listening.
    Clean-Up Crew: No one's making you stay!
  • Bart's attempt to help his father with his injury includes putting a beer out of reach.
    Bart: I've been watching Animal Planet. If it can't reach it's food, the hippo dies.
  • Homer reads off a list of possible side effects from a medication. At first it seems he doesn't get the first one, hallucinations, then he starts hearing a voice.
    Homer: Oh, why is it never hair growth?

656 - E My Sports

  • Lisa threatens to be bad since it seems Bart is being rewarded for his bad behavior. Everyone laughs.
  • Bart's team wins a video game tournament at school with a $1000 prize. Skinner tries to give him the money, but can't.
    Bart: Come on Seymour, let go!
    Skinner: I'm trying, but I can't. I've never had this much money before.
  • Homer asks Bart to sit on his knee. Bart thinks he's too old, but Homer insists. His knee breaks.
  • Lisa's life goals: Visit a Buddhist monastery in South Korea, get Homer to recycle and be one inch taller than Bart.

657 - Bart vs. Itchy and Scratchy

  • Marge has an interesting interpretation about Itchy and Scratchy.
    Marge: I always thought they were a married couple, and that's why they fought?
    Lisa: Mom, they're different species.
    Marge: I don't know what to be liberal about anymore.
  • Bart tries to escape an angry mob. He tries to get into the art room, but its closed to budget cuts. So is the fire escape.
  • Skinner sees the demand from the taggers.
    Skinner: I don't negotiate with terrorists. I just give in.
  • Milhouse decides to lead the other boys of Springfield to resist feminization of their favorite products. The name of their organization: Boys Rights Association.
  • Bart offers Lisa to come along, but she's afraid of getting hurt. Good mix of insulting and Dare to Be Badass.
    Bart: Hey if you want to be all talk, that's fine. Feminists need cheerleaders too.

658 - Girl's in the Band

  • Mr. Largo forcing the students to hold a high note after getting an email from a scout.
  • Bart's not happy about coming to Lisa's practice in the next city.
    Bart: Why do I have to come? I specifically became good at nothing to avoid these car trips.
    Marge: If you were me, would you trust you home alone? (Bart imagines himself supervising a cage fight between an alligator and horse)
  • Everything with the music teacher, who's basically JK Simmons channeling his character from Film/Whiplash but crazier.
    Teacher: I had a difficult choice once. Music teacher or prison guard. I picked the one where I could be crueler.
    • Lisa even calls him out on this.
    Lisa: You know, you're pretty mean for a teacher.
    Teacher: Think this is mean. You should see me as a father.

659 - A Girl Who Just Can't Say D'oh

  • Chief Wiggum brings his real gun to a play of Oklahoma, which is bad news for Lou with the prop.
  • Marge and Lisa arguing F. Scott Fitzgerald quotes
  • Homer tries to reassure Marge that she'll be a great director
    Homer: Anyone who can raise two girls and two boys like you do can manage anything!
  • Apparently no one in Springfield has heard the phrase "Break a leg" and all take it literally
    Krusty: Why would I wish that? It's violent and cruel!

660 - D'oh Canada

  • The chalkboard gag. Bart writes "HAW-HAW!" in huge lettering, then flips the board to reveal that he duct taped Nelson to the other side.
  • How does the safety manager react when Lisa accidentally goes over Niagara Falls?
  • Marge describes Lisa as the heart and soul of the family.
    Bart: Well, what am I?
    Homer: You're the spleen. We don't know what you do and we don't care.

661 - Woo-Hoo Dunnit?

  • As the episode is a parody of a crime documentary, the series uses a smiling photo of the family to introduce them.. only for it later to show the couch is being repossessed in the photo.
  • Lisa's 911 phone call
    Lisa: There's been a robbery! Send help now!
    Operator: I didn't hear a please.
    Lisa: This is an emergency! You don't have to say please.
    Operator: Sounds like what someone stole is your manners.
    Lisa: Please
    Operator: Help is on the way. You're welcome!
    Lisa: Could I get your name, please? And the name of your supervisor, if I may?
    Operator: Help is no longer on the way.
  • Bart's introduction in the documentary.
    Bart: I've been waiting for you. (dumps bucket of water on cameraman)
  • The narrator has some brilliant snark about the situation
    Narrator: Lisa's $650.74 college fund was stolen. Her dreams of three weeks of college, without a meal plan, were gone.
    Narrator: Surprisingly, the mystery would not be solved in the first five minutes of the show.
    Narrator: Well, we didn't solve the mystery. But we watched awful things happen to people who weren't us. And isn't that what life's all about?

662 - Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion

  • "If you or a loved one experience any of these side effects, please remember that life is heartless and brutal, and the cosmos is indifferent to us all."
  • Lindsey Naegle: Does Everything
  • Marge tries to bribe Chief Wiggum with a body rub. She doesn't take into account his surface area
  • Bart distracts Lisa from her suspicions with a Tibetan Singing Bowl
  • Another folk healer tries to intimidate Marge by throwing a rock through the window. It's message: Peace
    Marge: This means war!
  • Bart's reaction when he realizes how disappointed his mom will be when she finds out he's been lying about the crystals helping him.
    Bart: How do I make this guilt go away?
    Bart: Nah, keep pitching.
  • Homer hosts a book club that no one bothered to read...except one.
    Cletus: I learned Swedish to read this here book, (picks up shotgun) and we are gonna discuss it.
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    Season 31 

663- The Winter of Our Monetized Content

  • Marge should listen to the thoughts in her head more when talking to Homer.
    Marge: Any one can run a website to give an opinion, even...
    Marge's Brain: Don't say even you. Don't say even you!
    Marge: Even you.
    Homer: Even me?! I'll do it.
  • Lisa accidentally starts a food fight by flicking a cold tater tot. When Skinner asks who started it and Lisa's name comes up...
    Lisa: It wasn't my fault. It was physics.
    Skinner: Fizik, I'm surprised at you. I expected more from a Turkmenistani exchange student.
  • Homer becomes an internet celebrity, so Moe says he'll grant him any request. Homer has the bar renamed to Homer's
    Moe: Ok, little more than I thought you'd ask for, but I respect the greed.
  • Corporation's privatize detention at the school to use them for labor, so Lisa leads a strike.
    Lindsey Neagle: How do you know about unions?
    Lisa: Because our history books end in the 1930s
  • After the inevitable loss of fame,
    Producer: What does everybody in show business love?
    Bart: Betty White?

664- Go Big or Go Homer

  • Homer is the personal hero of an intern Mike at the power plant. Why? A Newspaper clip that reads Nuclear Plant Worker at Center of Tenth Nuclear Meltdown.
  • Homer is over the moon to be a mentor.
    Homer: I finally have a person who depends on me to guide them through life.
    Bart and Lisa: [throw down Homer's new clothes]
  • How Homer describes his intern.
    Homer: He listens with his mouth open, he's blocked by so many celebrities on Twitter, and he thinks I'm the most valuable worker at the entire plant.
    Bart: Oh, I get it. He's super dumb.
  • At the beginning of the episode, Mr. Burns gives Homer five dollars, which Smithers says is due to pills he's been taking. When Mike starts to insult him, he draws a shotgun. Smithers happily volunteers he's off the meds.
    Homer: You're lucky Mr. Burns's gun is over 200 years old.
    Mike: Yeah, but now my doctor says I can't get shot in the face again.
  • Mike bets money on a basketball game after borrowing it from the mob. As he listens to it on the radio, Fat Tony and company alternatively raise and lower their guns based on the score.

665 - The Fat Blue Line

  • The new police chief for the episode if hilarious, from her insults to Chief Wiggum ("You're so fat, you're bad cop and good cop.") to her inadvertent double entendres when describing Homer's butt ("Your husband's ass is gonna crack this case wide open.").
  • Fat Tony's lawyer is horrified to discover his client is... innocent.
    Lawyer: How can I help you? I have nothing to plead.

666 - Treehouse of Horror XXX

Opening

  • Turns out, Marge actually gave birth to a boy for their third child and Homer switched it out for Maggie. Despite her being the antichrist, Homer still thinks she's better than a boy.

Danger Things

  • All girls have psychic powers, but have to hide them for safety.
    Lisa: Lost a lot of good people in Salem.

Heaven Swipes Right

When Hairy Met Slimy

  • Selma works as a maid in the power plant with a supposedly deaf maid. She, however signs: "I can talk. I just don't want to talk to you."
  • Kang is held hostage by Mr. Burns.
    Burns: We're going to dissect you tomorrow.
    Kang: Wait, I can teach you things. How about the way to make clean energy?
    Burns: Then I'll dissect you tonight.
  • When they break out Kang, Burns follows with armed men. When they almost shoot the alien, he yells at them to shoot the driver. Unfortunately, he didn't specify which... so they shoot their driver.

667 - Gorillas on the Mast

  • Bart thinks that a "mermaid" at the aquarium has the most fake tail ever. He pulls at it, but reveals it's a fish wearing a fake human top.
  • Lisa protests at the aquarium... until they give her a stuffed animal.
  • Bart loses some fire ants for a prank and wonders where they went.
    Flanders: [with fire ants crawling on his face] Dear lord, thank you for these fire ants biting my face, entering my nose, testing my faith... Aw hell, where's the spray?
  • Lolo the gorilla can sign five words: Friend, Love, Enemy, Kill, and Seinfeld.
  • Bart and Milhouse free the gorilla. To do that, they need to lower a rope into the pit and make contact with it.
    Milhouse: Well, I guess it's your turn to do this, right, Bart?
    Bart: Right? Did I mention I'm allergic to gorilla fur?
    Milhouse: The one thing I'm not allergic to...
  • When the gorilla gets out, it goes on a rampage. It starts breaking and bending everything in sight, including the bars to a cage... only to realize it's now trapped in there. The boys' reaction?
    Bart: We have a problem.
    Milhouse: [in a tiger's mouth] Make that two. [tiger puts him down next to another and starts purring] So, this is what it's like to have a loving family.
    Tiger: [in growls] When it stops talking, we eat it.

668 - Marge the Lumberjill

  • At the school open house, one of the plays is a about a playthrough of a videogame. Skinner's justification:
    Skinner: Walkthroughs on Youtube are the only form of narratives these kids know.
    Largo: This is their Beckett!
  • Marge leaves to be a lumberjack for a month. The house doesn't do too well.
    Grandpa: [to Snowball II and Santa's Little Helper] Bart, Lisa, I've done a pretty good job raising you this month. Now where's Maggie? There she is. [picks up toaster]
  • Bart claims trees cause global warming and can grow back from sawdust. It's what his corporate-sponsored textbooks tell him.

669 - Livin La Pura Vida

  • Marge gets invited on a massive family trip that she always wanted to go on. She races home to have a family discussion, leaving a trail of destruction. Namely, a billboard crashes on Lou the cop, Ralph gets swept away by his kite, and a wind chime store ignites. When they get home, Marge races inside. Bart, who was in the car, makes a cross and kisses the ground.
  • The moment above is brought back later when Patty and her new girlfriend come on the trip.
    Marge: Well, Lou and his sister were gonna come, but a billboard fell on him and her wind chime store burned down.
  • Lisa's reason for going to Costa Rica: biodiversity. Bart's reason for wanting to go to Costa Rica: kids carry machetes.
    Bart: Legalize it.
    He later uses it throughout their trip. Including chopping the leg of the Van Houtens' bed.
  • Homer and Patty's girlfriend Evelyn get along well... too well. When Patty yells at Marge, she snaps back at her. Also a Moment of Awesome.
    Marge: Patricia Maleficent Bouvier, I've put up with you badmouthing my husband for years, and I've had it! Evelyn's the one who got Homer drunk! She ruined my vacation photo! She's the bad influence! She may be a southern, she may be a woman, but you're dating a Homer!
    Just The Reveal that Patty's middle name is Maleficent is really as appropriate as it is hilarious.

670 - Thanksgiving of Horror

  • In the first segment, where most of the entire cast are turkeys, the scene where the turkeys are killed while Homer watches is mostly Nightmare Fuel, except for when the Patty and Selma turkeys are up.
  • In the second segment, Marge gets replaced by an Alexa-type device which was made with her DNA/memories. When the device eventually becomes more loved than the real thing, Homer tries to reassure her that he still loves her, only to reveal he's a robot too. Marge's reaction?
  • When Marge asks if the digital Marge will feel pain when deleted, Homer tells her he paid extra for it to feel pain.
  • In the final segment, in a parody of Alien, the kids are woken from hypersleep to receive instructions from Skinner.
    Skinner: If you are watching this, I'm dead.
    Kids: YAY!
  • The reason humans have left Earth, according to Lisa's voice over, is because trying to counter global warming accidentally plunged the planet into a new Ice Age.
  • When Bart puts the cranberry sauce into the matter replicator, a hologram Prof. Frink warns against replicating organic matter. Bart just skips through it, thinking it's just an ad.
  • Later, Milhouse thinks the alien-cranberry creature is just lonely. He tries to reassure it, but it just grabs and attacks him.
    Bart: Milhouse's plan is working! It's distracted!
    Milhouse: This isn't my plan!

671 - Todd Todd Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

  • Todd writes the chalkboard gag "Idle hands are the Devil's tool." with two hands.
  • When Todd states he doesn't believe in God anymore, everyone in church gasps... except Lisa, who gives him a thumbs up. Ned faints, and the parishoners fan him with collection baskets since they're all empty.
  • In a background gag, Mrs. Hibbert tries to pull a fire alarm to get out of a ballet recital. The handle breaks off.
  • Bart locks Homer out of the house naked until he can answer three riddles. He fails.
  • Lisa tries to get Todd to convert to Buddhism until he tells her off.
    Todd: Maybe I'll reconsider your stupid religion when I re-incarnate as a worm!
    Lisa: In Buddhism, that's halfway to a yes.
  • After Homer and Ned get hit by car, we see a huge vigil outside the hospital room.
    Lisa: Aw, look how many lives Dad touched. [seeing practically the entire town]
    Bart: Lisa, that's Flanders's vigil. Dad's is over there. [group of only Moe, Lenny and Duffman]
    Duffman: Vigil's are a surprisingly large part of this job!

672 - Bobby It's Cold Outside

  • Someone is stealing packages from people's porches, leading to this line...
    Random Guy: Oh no, someone stole my porch repair kit! [collapses]
  • The line to see Santa at the village is eight hours long.
    Bart: I have to wait eight hours to see a fat, drunken idiot? I'm trying to get away from one.
  • Lenny decides to make a dye pack bomb to catch the package thief.
    Carl: You think you're putting in too much gunpowder?
    Lenny: Back off! I learned how to do this from my Uncle Two-Fingers.
  • Bart immediately assumes SB is Sideshow Bob. Homer dismisses it, and gives Chief Wiggum a more likely suspect: Selma Bouvier.
  • Once Selma's arrested, Wiggum tells people to release Sandra Bullock, Steve Buschemi and Scott Bacula.
  • Sideshow Bob offers to drive Bart home. Bart agrees if he gets shotgun... after which a guard gives him a loaded shotgun.

673 - Hail to the Teeth

  • Bart has an app which shows Lisa getting uglier as she ages into her teenage years. With Bart, it shows him as a hunk... then dead at 17.
  • Lisa's visit with the orthodontist, especially after her lips are stuck in smiling position.
    Orthodontist: At least you're happy.
    Lisa: Here, you need more nitrous.

    Misc. 
  • Homer takes the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.
  • In the Springfield's Most Wanted special, every desk has a box of donuts.
  • One Butterfinger commercial, where Bart covers Homer's entire body with sand, unable to move. Which gives Bart the opportunity to eat a Butterfinger. An enraged Homer tries to struggle free, and suddenly crabs pop out of the sand, with one of them grabbing his nose. At the end of the commercial, the tide comes and nearly drowns Homer, who gargles the water.
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