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    Season 17 

357 - Bonfire of the Manatees

  • Marge leaves the house after discovering Homer filming a movie to pay off a mafia debt.
    Homer: Marge, wait! I Can Explain.
    Marge: (stops) I'm listening.
    Homer: I owe the mafia money...
    Marge: D'oh! (drives off)
    • "Wait, you forgot to say goodbye to the kids!"
    Marge: Bye, Bart! (smashes into Homer's car) Goodbye, Lisa! (smash) Sleep tight, Maggie! (smash) Tonight's the last night you can have the pie in the fridge! (several smashes)
    Homer: Well we better go eat that pie.
  • Lenny and Carl want part of the porno that's being shot at Homer's house:
    Lenny: I'll run the sound board!
    Carl: And I'll perform in the sex scenes! (high-fives Lenny)
  • Homer is surprised when the porno is regular straight porn. He had assumed it would be gay porn because he for some reason thought Fat Tony and the others were the Gay Mafia. They are not amused.
  • The mafia torturing Homer by hitting his hands with a hammer, and Homer keeps blaming him losing the money he borrowed on a pig that predicts football results named Professor Pigskin.

358 - The Girl Who Slept Too Little

  • Bart: If you're looking for Lisa, she said she was going to spend the night in the boneyard out back.
    Marge: And you're just sitting here!?
    Bart: I figured the best thing I could do was monitor the news for any reports.
    Marge: You're watching cartoons!
    • In the same scene, after the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, Bart's out-of-nowhere question:
    Bart: Mom, can we have fried chicken for dinner?
  • How surprisingly xenophobic Marge is when it comes to Count von Count.
    Marge: Go back to your own country!
  • All the bits with Groundskeeper Willie's cousin Gravedigger Billy.
  • While searching the cemetery at night, Chief Wiggum freaks out and ends up running around naked until his men finds him the following morning hiding in a tree.

359 - Milhouse of Sand and Fog

  • Milhouse's reaction to seeing his divorced parents making out.
    Milhouse: Sweet Lizzie McGuire!
    • Followed by Bart showing him something even more traumatizing: walking in on Homer in the bathroom feeding pizza to a clown face painted on his belly.
    Homer: I'm doing this for work.
  • When Luann finds Marge's bra in her and Kirk's bed (planted by Bart and Milhouse), she storms over to the Simpson house, but Marge is out and Homer answers the door. Luann says she has a message for Marge: "Stop sleeping with my husband."note  Homer actually writes this down verbatim on a "While you were out" message pad.
    Homer: And you are...?
    Luann: The wife of your wife's lover.
    Homer: Does she know what this is regarding?
    Luann: [Facepalms] You moron! Marge is having an affair with Kirk!
    Homer: [laughs derisively] That's ridiculous! No woman would want to have sex with that loser! [Luann gives Homer a Death Glare] Uh... I... and, uh, congratulations on snagging him back, he's good stuff...

360 - Treehouse of Horror XVI

Opening

  • Kang and Kodos have to wait on the World Series before the Halloween special can begin. But, feeling painfully bored, they activate the "accele-ray", however, they turn it up too high, completely undoing reality, including God.
    Kodos: Smooth move, Space Lax. You've destroyed the totality of existence!
    Kang: It'll be fine. I'll just leave a note.
    (places a post-it note reading "Treehouse of Horror XVI")

A - B.I., Bartifical Intelligence

  • David using Homer as a human shield only for Bart to cut through without letting him finish his ultimatum, next scene has Homer using David's lower body.

B - Survival Of The Fattest

  • The Blue Haired Lawyer drafting a contract letting Mr Burns claim hunting people as part of his religious beliefs, despite being one of the intended victims himself. He deservedly ends up being the second person who dies. The first one being Comic Book Guy who said he'll rather be shot than run the ten minutes headstart. So he is.
    Burns: Looks like we broke the ice.
  • Homer resorting to cannibalism after just a few hours of being hunted by Burns. He even turns down some bananas because they look a little unripe.
  • While hunting his guests, Mr Burns notes that he's smelling curry.
    Apu: Uh-oh...
  • After Apu dies, he immediately reincarnates as a rabbit.
    Rabbit!Apu: Haha, you cannot kill a Hindu! *jumps away but is immediately caught in a bear trap* AHH! Help me Jesus!

C - I've Grown A Costume On Your Face

  • When everybody gets turned into their costume by a wicked witch, Maggie is the only one who can save them, since she was wearing a witch costume herself. she turns them all into giant pacifiers and flies away.

361 - Marge's Son Poisoning

  • When Bart and Marge go to the teahouse for the second time, it turns out to have been closed down forever. Apparently, the cakes were filled with rat droppings.

362 - See Homer Run

  • When Principal Skinner is speaking to Homer and Marge regarding Lisa's behavior, Willie is replacing the window Lisa broke and accidentally drops it. When they all look toward him, he sheepishly pretends the window is installed and "cleans" it.
    • Also, Dr. Pryor showing Lisa's crayon drawings of Homer's embarrassments.
  • Homer vomiting into his "Safety Salamander" suit.
    Marge: Haven't you washed that thing once since you got it?
    Homer: No, but I swam in it.
  • Jimbo's ad campaign for mayor. "Jimbo Jones: Tough on nerds, tougher on dorks."
  • Mayor Quimby's attempt at hijacking a plane:
    Mayor Quimby (in 747 cockpit point machine gun at pilots): Take this plane anywhere girls are going wild.

363 - The Last of the Red Hat Mamas

  • The red hat's leader says they can't perform the heist without Marge's specialty: Being slim enough to go through the secret access, when Marge is disappointed it's the only thing they need her for, the leader points out with her hair it wasn't for discretion.
  • Homer's entire fight with the referee in the bunny suit definitely counts. From his Pre-Asskicking One-Liner of: "Silly rabbit, kicks are for ribs!" to his line at the end of the fight:
    Homer: "You're like all Easter Bunnies! Can't take a punch to the crotch!"

364 - The Italian Bob

  • Homer eating pig meat straight from the grinder at the butcher shop.
    Sideshow Bob: And he kisses you with that mouth?
    Homer: (mouth full) I love you, Marge. Mua-mua.
  • Homer's gestures to a crowd of Italians.
    Lisa: Dad, don't do Mussolini!
    Homer: I thought I was doing Donald Trump.
  • When the Simpsons first meet Bob in Italy:
    Bob: The SIMPSONS!
    All: (startled yelling)
  • When Bob declares a vendetta on the Simpson family, Marge looks up the word in an Italian-to-English dictionary and is shocked to discover vendetta...means "vendetta"! Cue screams from the other Simpsons.
  • Bob's story about how he came to Italy; he spun a globe, stabbed it with a knife, and decided to go where the knife had landed. This...does not work out so well the first few times.
    Bob, narrating: I needed a fresh start.
    Bob: (knife lands on Orlando, Florida) NOT in this lifetime!
    Bob: (knife lands on North Korea) Dammit!
    Bob: (knife lands on Shelbyville, a town near Springfield) Never!
    Bob: (knife lands on a country shaped like Bart's head and called "Bartovia") (sternly) Now, cut that out!
    Bob: (slowly turns globe until he finds and stabs Tuscany) Ah! Tuscany. Fortune is finally smiling upon me.
  • Despite his love for the area, Bob's first few weeks in Tuscany don't go very well, mainly because he insists on correcting the grammar of the actual Italians.
  • Homer thinks he's following the GPS, but he's actually watching a Fellini film on the car's DVD player.
  • Homer tries to thank the old Italian woman by giving her a coffee cup with the word "Kentucky" on it. Unfortunately, in Italian, Kentucky means "whore".

365 - Simpsons Christmas Stories

A - The First D'oh-El

B - I Saw Grampa Cussing Santa Claus

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-simpsons&episode=s17e09

C - The Nutcracker... Sweet

366 - Homer's Paternity Coot

  • Marge's reaction to the tire spikes: "What the Hello Kitty?"

367 - We're on the Road to D'ohwhere

  • When the steam tunnels go out of control, Principal Skinner tries to run away but the steam caught up with him and it sends him flying. He shouts: "STEAAAAAM!!!"
  • When the steam gets to Groundskeeper Willie, he feels hot and wants a drink. He tries to drink from the fountain but steams comes out and burns him. He tries it again but gains the same result. Then he tried to have a soda. When he puts the money in, steam comes out and burns him.
  • The end where Lisa gets two phone calls from Homer and Marge (Homer telling Lisa that he lost Bart and he's in jail for fighting with a pit boss at a casino; Marge needing bail money after getting busted for selling expired prescription meds) and Lisa tells Maggie that she anticipated the day when it would just be her and Maggie left in the house.
    Lisa: I'll look for work in the morning.

368 - My Fair Laddy

  • When Bart inadvertently destroys Willie's shack with a dodgeball full of ice, Willie picks it up and throws it in a rage. It hits his tractor, which shatters like glass.
  • Lisa asks Willie if he ever dreams of something better in life. Music similar to My Fair Lady's "Wouldn't it be Loverly?" begins:
    Willie: (singing) All I want is a place somewhere.
    Lisa: And?
    Willie: That's it.
  • Homer later joins the song whilst sitting on the downstairs toilet.
  • Marge is creeped out by Homer's advertisement for blue pants on the back of his head. However, when he shuts off the light, the ad emanates light, and she's more impressed:
    Marge: Wow. It glows in the dark.
    Homer: (sounding worried) It's not supposed to.
  • Lisa reveals "Mr. GK Willington, Esq.'s" identity.
    Lisa: Mr. GK Willington is not who he seems. In fact, he's someone you all know quite well.
    Ralph: Is it me?
  • Bart reveals that Willie's job as groundskeeper was passed down to the next lowest guy on the totem pole. Cut to Mr. Largo, the band teacher, driving Willie's lawnmower.
    Mr. Largo: Oh for goodness' sakes, (camera pans out to show the lawnmower on the roof of the school) how did I get up here?

369 - The Seemingly Never-Ending Story

370 - Bart Has Two Mommies

  • When Rod is helping Bart down the under-construction church steeple.
    Bart: Don't let our hands touch, it's gay.
    Rod: What's gay mean?
    Bart: Umm, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
    Rod: (to Flanders) I'm gay, daddy, I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!
    Marge: Uh, I believe he's saying 'he's okay.' (Ned glares at her)
  • Homer's Epic Fail of trying to take out the monkey holding Bart prisoner; he tries to use a blowpipe, only to swallow the tranquiliser dart.

371 - Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife

  • Homer is so addicted to television that at one point, he calls Lisa "TVsa".

372 - Million Dollar Abie

  • Sideshow Mel delivering a rather savage comeback when Jimbo insults him.
    Mel: Touchdown Avenue? Delightful!
    Jimbo: Who ya talking to? Your imaginary girlfriend?
    Mel: *scoffs* Isn't your mother a well known whore?
    Jimbo: *gasp* You win this round, Mel!
  • Homer's Groin Attack from running into the sharp horns on Bart's bike.

373 - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore

374 - The Wettest Stories Ever Told

A - Mayflower Madman

Homer: Land ho!
Marge: What did you call me?!
  • When Homer first meets the Mayflower pilgrims, he's introduced to their leader, Ned Flandish.
    Homer: Stupid Flandish...
  • Homer imagines Marge naked... or rather, the prudish Jacobean equivalent, in her extremely conservative underwear, which almost makes her look more dressed than she normally does.
  • When Moe shows Ned that Homer and several of the other pilgrims are drunk (on alcohol they were going to give to the Indians).
    Ned: Horseplay? Roughhousing?! HORSEHOUSING?!

B - The Whine-Bar Sea

  • The entire kitchen going outside to play basketball instead of bringing the Simpsons their food at the Frying Dutchman.
  • Skinner, in the role as the captain of The Bounty, actually manages to be even more grating than the real life captain. And he really doesn't know when to quit.
    Skinner: *After being forced to ride on a sea turtle after Willy throws him out of the lifeboat* What are you going to do, dive underwater? I'd like to see th- *the turtle dives* You call this deep?!
  • Bart's first action after the crew takes over the ship? Throwing the steering wheel overboard as a "symbol of the old regime".

C - Watership D'ohn

  • Homer getting so bored waiting that he figures out the pattern in the naval-themed wallpaper.
    Homer: It goes ship wheel, boat, fish with boobs, then back to ship wheel.
    Lisa: What about this anchor?
    Homer: My life's work, ruined!!

375 - Girls Just Want to Have Sums

  • After Skinner makes a fool of himself at a school assembly, Chalmers takes over:
    Chalmers: Attention, students. Due to nervous exhaustion and diarrhea of the mouth-
    (kids laugh)
    Chalmers: (annoyed) Yes yes yes, I said "diarrhea".
  • Homer getting in trouble for implying women are less intelligent than men.
    Homer: Aw, why did women invent sleeping on the couch?
    • And then later on, he does it again.
    Homer: (in bed with Marge) Honey, you're as smart as any man. Sometimes when I'm with you, I feel like I'm doing it with a dude. (Cut to him on couch) Oh well, I can always cuddle with the dog. At least everyone knows I'm smarter than you. (Cut to Homer outside sleeping in the doghouse) Oh, how did this happen?
  • Stabalot: a spot-on parody of the Broadway version of The Lion King, with a little Andrew Lloyd Webber thrown in there as well.
    • Special mention goes to the scene where when Itchy and Scratchy are singing in soothing young adult voices, they suddenly speak to each other in their regular voices.
  • Bart, on the school being split in two:
    Bart: Now I can walk down the hall with "Bart junior" hanging out. Isn't that right, Bart Junior? (pulls up a frog)
    (frog subtitles: "I thought he meant his penis.")
  • Lisa's inner monologue with talking math symbols.
    ≥: Do it Lisa. You'll be greater than or equal to boys.
    8: Even though you're only eight, your possibilities are infinite.
    27: ...Twenty-seven!

376 - Regarding Margie

  • "Don't answer the door! I don't want that judgemental bitch in my house!"

377 - The Monkey Suit

378 - Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play

  • "Buck Mitchell is back on top - ending rumors of marital problems and inviting rumors of steroid abuse!"
    • "He's made six errors, struck out twice and swallowed a bee!"
    • "She embarrassed me in front of the entire tornado league" (a tornado passes by with Barney caught in it)
  • The whole "Sexy Marriage Land" part, especially when Bart goes "Wow, I suddenly feel the urge to give her a five!"
  • Double Duffman:
    Duffman: Duffman gives the people what they want.
    Marge: Weren't you just tied up in the blimp?
    Duffman: Three Duffmen are working the game tonight. But don't tell the children. It's disillusioning.
    (two Duffmen thrust their hips at each other while exclaiming "Duffman!" repeatedly)
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    Season 18 

379 - The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer

  • The "truck-truck-truck" gag.
  • Homer saying that he can function as a mafia subordinate by following the cues from the greatest gangster movie of all time: Shark Tale.
  • Homer alibi for not being the one poisoning the food? He wouldn't still be eating the poisoned meatballs after the fact.
  • Fat Tony has some trouble with his Palm Pilot:
    Fat Tony: The sit-down’s tonight? Again this Palm Pilot has failed to remind me! I believe this needs to be hot-synced. (Louie takes Palm Pilot and shoots it) What are you doing?!
    Louie: I thought you meant ‘hot-sync’ it. You know how it is with us, everything means kill!
  • Springfield doesn't have McDonald's and Burger King because Krusty pays Fat Tony to keep them out.
  • Krusty comes up short and only offers $5 to silence Hardee's. In response, the mobsters beat him up.

380 - Jazzy and the Pussycats

  • When Bart starts playing the drums for the first time, he imagines them all as Homer saying "D'oh" every time he hits them.
  • Bart's drumming leads to him reenacting The White Stripes' "The Hardest Button to Button" music video...only to literally crash into the actual White Stripes also performing the video.
    Jack White: Hey, kid. Why don't you watch where you're drumming?
    Bart: Sorry, White Stripes. No hard feelings?
  • "Without the ability to drum, I'm useless - just like Phil Collins!"

381 - Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em

382 - Treehouse of Horror XVII

A - Married To The Blob

  • Homer eating the glowing blob from the meteor, despite it trying to escape his mouth.
    Homer: If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!

B - You Gotta Know When To Golem

  • Krusty complaining about his lame "Desperate Houseflies" sketch.
  • The female companion the family makes for the Golem ends up having the voice of Fran Drescher. Homer immediately attempts to destroy it.

C - The Day The Earth Looked Stupid

Orson Welles: The devastation is incredible! They're grinding up the bodies of human beings!
[sound technician uses an eggbeater to grind up corn flakes]
Welles: Now they're riding horses in the rain!
[sound technician clacks coconut halves against a wooden board while pouring water into a metal tray]
Welles: Now they're playing the xylophone while bowling near an airport!
[sound technician holds up sign reading "Screw you" and leaves]

383 - G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)

  • Homer tries to inspire his troops using captain Crunch as model, stay crispy.
  • While making love to Marge after deserting from the military exercise, Homer gets caught in the act by an Army UAV. What ensues is a Looney-Tune's-esque chase as Homer tries to shake off the drone following him.

384 - Moe'N'a Lisa

  • Pretty much everything the J. Jonah Jameson-esque poetry editor says.
    Editor: (on phone) Stop the presses, send my wife some flowers and bring me an Advil. What do you mean you don't work for me? You're hired. Now that you're hired, you're fired. Now that you don't work for me we can be friends. How come you never call? Some friend you are! (hangs up) God, I love this business.
    • Later in the episode
    Editor: That's sweet. I hate sweet! I want photos! Photos of Spider-Man!
    Employee: This is a poetry journal.
    Editor: Okay, then poems about Spider-Man, and I want them finished before you start, and before you finish get me some coffee. * And the poems should have the following rhyme scheme, ABBAABBACDECDE. What are you waiting for, Chinese New Year?
  • Lisa despondently throws bread to some ducks in the college pond. She then tosses some on the ground, only for grad students to go wild for it.
  • "Ooh, you fight like Anne Rice!"

385 - Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)

Homer: Marge, this is the most fun I've ever had giving you wood
  • "On your feet, you snickering O-ran-gu-tan."
  • Ralph sticking an ice cream cone to his head and claiming to be a "unitard".
  • "Well, excuse me for having enormous flaws that I don't work on!"
  • Martin feels so hot, he feels "like Icarus did when he flew too close to Apollo's golden orb". He then tells Nelson to "punch away", but Nelson refuses because he's too hot. When Martin books Nelson for next week, Nelson punches him anyway.

386 - The Haw-Hawed Couple

  • The subplot where Homer is reading Lisa the Angelica Button book. When reading ahead, he discovers that Greystash dies to save Angelica from the "Suff-o-clock of Sandy Doom". Rather than upset Lisa, Homer improvises his own ending, providing the world with:
    Greystash: Mustache power! ACTIVATE! (cue his mustache taking a level in badass, Popeye style)
  • And during the credits:
    Homer: (sobbing at Moe's) No man should have to outlive his fictional wizard!
  • Best part is Angelica's delivery of the line "I somehow escaped from the hourglass!" And then Lisa reads the real ending and decides Homer's was better.
    Lisa: What happened to the Merlinical Council?
    Homer: Um, they went to Star Wars land and...fought Star Wars.
  • The opening of the episode has a weird one:
    Martin: Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot!
    Bart:' Well said!
  • Homer's EPIC discourse on responsibility while driving Bart to Nelson's birthday party:
    Homer: Son, we all have to do things we don't want to: like have jobs and families and responsibilities and having to be Mr. Funny all the time. You think I wouldn't rather be living nude in the forest like some ancient pagan, just dancing around playing the pan flute?! And here we are.

387 - Kill Gil, Volumes I & II

  • This scene:
    Homer: Why are we still letting him stay here?
    Marge: Because of Christian charity!
    Homer: What does a porn star have to do with this?
  • Gil's thought-provoking observation while watching the Rose Bowl Parade:
    "You know, those floats should really slow down and savor it, 'cause your life can go to Hell pretty quick!"
  • When Bart and Lisa find that Gil ate their lunches, Nelson makes Bart hand over his lunch. All Bart's bag has is two used nicotine patches, which Nelson eats when he mistakes them for mini quesadillas before promptly passing out from the ensuing shock.

388 - The Wife Aquatic

  • When Homer is out at sea where his boat is being pummeled by waves, Moe senses he's in trouble and he, Lenny, and Carl leave the bar to rescue him. They stop short when they see it's pouring rain.
    Moe: Whoa, whoa, it's really coming down out there.
    Lenny: We could run to the car.
    Moe: Yeah, but then we'd have to stand there while we get the doors unlocked.
    Carl: Don't you have one of them keys that beeps the doors open?
    Moe: Yeah, but still. (they go back inside)
  • "Shiiiiiiiiiipwreeeeeeeeeck!"

389 - Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times

A - The Count Of Monte Fatso

  • After Homer and the Rich Texan have started to bond, sitting on the back of the Rich Texan's car, looking up at the night sky:
    Rich Texan: (looking up at the sky) Look at all them stars. How many do you think there are?
    Homer: Two.
    Rich Texan: (shocked and angry) WHAT THE?! Two? (Angrish) You think there are tw- Well I nev- How could-? (sighs) Why do you think it is that mankind is so inclined towards hatin' one another?
    Homer: I don't know. Let's just lay here 'til we figure it out.

B - Revenge of the Geeks

  • This exchange after Lisa's story about Milhouse and the Gauntlet.
    Homer: Wow. That had what I really like in a story: an ending.
    Lisa: The point, Dad, is that when you take revenge, you become just as bad as the person you harm.
    Homer: No, sweetie, the lesson is (serious tone) never put down your weapon. (grabs his bat and waves it out the window at the Rich Texan) REVENGE!

C - Bartman Begins

390 - Little Big Girl

  • After the fire is started, Waylon Smithers gets caught on fire and begs Mr. Burns for help. Burns, however, is too busy washing his car and tells him that he should be the one helping. Smithers replies that he is flaming, which causes Mr. Burns to give an Aside Glance.
  • The spoof of the opening sequence when Bart is granted a driving license. He writes "So long suckers" in the blackboard, the bell rings and he bursts through the school entrance driving Homer's car, and does the same gags from the original opening while driving. He runs over everyone in the sidewalk instead of dodging, and lands the car over Homer when reaching home.
  • Every time Homer calls Bart.
    Homer: I'm drunk come pick me up, I'm in Chinatown, not our Chinatown.

391 - Springfield Up

  • The Reveal concerning Eleanor Abernathy.
  • The documentary style of the episode lends itself to great jump cuts. This interview with Homer and Marge is probably the best.
    Desmond: Are you considering children?
    24-year old Homer: No way. You'll never see a couple of rugrats tying me down.
    32-year old Homer: You better not put this shot after the one where I said we wouldn't have kids. That would be a devastating edit.
  • Child!Homer for some reason thought that Desmond was a genie.
  • Lenny being such a bore in the episode.
    8-year-old Lenny: My daddy said I can have any birthday party I want. My cake will be a picture of a dinosaur and all the guests will say, "Why, Lenny, that's a fine cake!" Then, "Yes," I'll say.
    Desmond: I decided not to waste any more film on him after that.

392 - Yokel Chords

  • What did Homer pack in his kids' lunches? Lisa got a drawing of a sandwich, while Bart got Grampa's medications.
    Old Jewish Man: Abe, pull over! You're not the driver!
    Abe: Shut up, pizzas! I've gotta deliver you!

393 - Rome-old and Juli-eh

  • After Selma and Abe get married:
    Selma: Well, here we are on our honeymoon...
    Abe: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa!
    Selma: Ho boy...
  • Homer tries to use his car like Fred Flintstone's car, but Reality Ensues.

394 - Homerazzi

  • We have the following:
    Fireman: Mr. Simpson, we've already been here six times this month!
    Homer: Yeah, but, um, one of those times, I'd actually dialed 9-1-1 by accident but I was too embarrassed to admit it, so I set the house on fire. It feels good to tell the truth! No, I'm lying, it feels bad.
  • Also all of J. K. Simmons' lines as the "Jameson-ish" tabloid reporter.
    (looking through Homer's Photos)
    Tabloid Reporter: Wonderful! Terrific! This has "page one" written all over it. Why the hell did you do that!?
    Homer: I wanted to remember my place in a book I was reading.
  • Among the pictures Enrico Irritazio took of Homer include him hung over at a Build-A-Bear store, strangling a deer, burning a jury duty notice, and eating pizza out of the garbage.

395 - Marge Gamer

  • Marge discovers the Internet, then the online role playing game "Earthland Realms".
  • When she can see her house from space, she realizes, via the Internet, Homer is sunbathing nude outside. Then, through the webpage, we see her chasing him. He hops the fence and runs into Flanders' yard, where his parents are visiting.
    Ned: Homer, you've met my parents.
    Homer: Not naked I haven't!
  • "The Shadow Knight? He's the most evil, destructive player in the game. He once beat me to death with my own life bar." It was either funny or unsurprising that the most evil, destructive, and successful (in Marge's words) player in the game was Bart.
  • After the original Shadow Knight/Night is killed, Marge becomes the new one and is shown kicking Moe's character's head like a soccer ball.
    Moe: (a head she's kicking around): "Why am I paying $14.95 a month for this?"
  • (Homer notices a guy waving a orange/yellow flag.)
    Homer: What's the matter buddy? The American flag not good enough for ya? (headbutts him)
    Girl: That was my father!
    Homer: (completely serious) I'm your father now.
  • (Helen Lovejoy's remark to Homer for a bad call)
    Helen: You are so blind even Jesus couldn't heal you!
    Rev. Lovejoy: Now Helen, let's not bring up the "J" bomb.

396 - The Boys of Bummer

  • The day after Bart's game-costing blunder at the championship, the sports section of the Springfield Shopper reads "SHAME!". To get his mind off the subject, Homer turns to the business section...which reads "BOY'S ERROR WEAKENS DOLLAR".
  • Moe streaking through the field during the make-up game.
  • Lisa telling Bart that their pet rabbit is dead and buried — but not in that order.
  • Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney singing an anti-Bart song to the tune of "Love Stinks" by The J. Geils Band.
    Bart: My favorite song ruined! (tears J. Geils Band posters off his wall)
  • Homer and Marge making out at the same place they made out when they first got married: behind a billboard on a discarded mattress while a bum watched. In fact, the very same bum is watching them now.
    Hobo (groping Homer): You got fat.
  • A retired pro baseball player named Joe La Boot is told by Bart that the latter feels sad about missing an easy catch. La Boot explains that he did the same and suffered from Never Live It Down... but when he hears Lisa asking Bart if he was happy, La Boot jumps on the anti-Bart bandwagon. The funny part is towards the end of the episode when Grampa makes fun of La Boot because of a catch he missed decades ago. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome.

397 - Crook and Ladder

  • When Homer is trying to convince Moe to not steal a priceless clock from a burning building:
    Moe: I can't let go of it, Homer! It's been in my family for nearly forty seconds!
  • Homer playing the siren over Principal Skinner's words.
  • "It ain't stealin' if you take it fast!"
  • Homer telling Rod and Todd that, much like 80% of America, he's whacked out on prescription medication.
  • The "Sad Eyes" montage, especially the end with Homer turning the frowny face dials and monitor into a happy monitor, then hearing a warning siren.
  • Homer holds up the giant letter "C" from Costington's and says, "This'll make a great toilet seat!"
  • Homer complains about his financial situation.
    Homer: Aw, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

398 - Stop or My Dog Will Shoot

399 - 24 Minutes

  • Everyone gasps in horror at the sight of a nuclear explosion in the distance...only to then sigh in relief when Jack Bauer assures them that was in Shelbyville.

400 - You Kent Always Say What You Want

  • Marge trying to break the Etch-A-Sketch after failing to erase the horrible curse word that Bart heard on the news.
  • The Raising Arizona-style run to the dentist.
  • Grampa listing all the words that used to be banned on television back in the 1950s, such as "burp," "fanny burp," "water closet," "dingle-dangle," "Boston marriagenote ," "LBJnote ," "hot dog," or "front lumps."
  • The end of the episode, where Homer tries to announce the truth about the Fox network, but his voice is dubbed over with speech that instead promotes Fox programming. When Homer tries to tell the viewers the truth, he is quickly silenced by the 20th Century Fox Television and Gracie Films logos.

    Season 19 

401 - He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs

  • Colby Kraus admitting he lied about his college:
    Colby: Actually, I lied, I didn't go to Harvard. I went to the Harvard of the South.
    Homer: Duke?
    Colby: Further south.
    Homer: Vanderbilt? That's still pretty good.
    Colby: No, further south. Don't make me say it.

402 - Homer of Seville

  • After Homer makes it clear to Julia that he's not into her, she attempts to kill him by putting a live cobra in his cereal box.
  • When Marge thwarts Julia's second attempt to kill Homer with a poisoned dart by using a French horn to send it back at her, the police in the balconies attempt to snipe her. They all miss.

403 - Midnight Towboy

  • Marge: At least you need me, sack of potatoes. (starts rocking the sack of potatoes to sleep)
  • Homer: When you married a man who would years later without warning become a tow truck driver, you knew what the deal would eventually be.

404 - I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

405 - Treehouse of Horror XVIII

A - E.T., Go Home

  • Bart throws a baseball into the propane shed out back. Something throws it back out. Bart throws it hard...and Kang staggers out, clutching himself and groaning an unintelligble word.
    Bart: Is that your name?

B - Mr. and Mrs. Simpson

Mr. Burns: Greetings, 241.
Homer: Why does he always mention my weight?

Marge: All this time I thought you were out getting drunk, you were killing people?
Homer: I was getting drunk, then killing people!

C - Heck House

406 - Little Orphan Millie

  • Marge offering to "krump" with Bart. She really gets into it, while Bart just dances awkwardly.
    • One of her poses from this was amusing enough to become a meme.

407 - Husbands and Knives

408 - Funeral for a Fiend

  • "Oh, next time a commercial comes on, I'm gonna cover my eyes, close my ears and scream as loud as I can!" (cut to commercial break; Homer screams)
  • Homer thinks Wes Doobner and Sideshow Bob are different people even after it's revealed they're one and the same.
    Homer: I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware of what you're doing in his restaurant!
    Sideshow Bob: I'm Wes Doobner!
    Homer: Mr. Doobner, I have a complaint. I work hard, and when I go out with my family, I expect a certain level of basic—
    Sideshow Bob: Shut up!

409 - Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind

  • The scene in which Moe shows Homer the video of how the Forget-Me-Shot is made, ending with Moe pausing the video. Moe's face on the freeze frame is somewhat weird looking, causing Moe to frame skip through the video, wondering if he really does look that ugly. The other freeze frames turn out to be even worse.
  • This bit in the retirement home:
    Grampa: Thank goodness you come to visit me, son! I can't take one more minute of this high school glee club pretending they don't hate being here.
    Glee club: (monotone, disinterested singing) Oh, what a night, / You know I didn't even know her name. / But I was never gonna be the same. / What a lady, what a night...
    Grampa: You'll eat our cookies, but you won't look at us!

410 - E Pluribus Wiggum

  • Homer's Imagine Spot of what a "think tank" is. The punchline is that he's completely accurate:
    Lisa: I think it's exciting. Springfield is the centre of the political universe. I feel like a pundit in a think tank!
    Homer: "Think tank", eh?... [a thought bubble appears next to him, accompanied by a harp glissando]
    [in Homer's Imagine Spot, a group of people are sitting around a long, boardroom-style table; a sign on the wall reads "The Center for Global Progress"]
    CGP session leader: Now, let's consider World Bank lending policy toward Micronesia.
    [the other think tank members begin talking amongst themselves; the Imagine Spot ends with another harp glissando, and Homer notices that Marge, Lisa, Maggie, and Bart are all leaning away from him, looking at him as though he's just grown a third eye]
    Homer: What? Not allowed to get one right?
  • Homer suggests in a bar that they vote for the stupidest person they can think to run the country, someone "unbelievably ridiculous" (when he initially suggests "ridiculous", Apu proposes Dennis Kucinich, who is standing right next to him). Chief Wiggum proposes himself, and Homer says, "No, but you're close." The actual candidate: Ralph Wiggum.

411 - That '90s Show

  • Say what you will about the episode, but this episode has at least one funny moment: Marge suggests having sex with Homer only when she's totally drunk, but Homer says that they should follow their celebrity role models and points at a billboard outside...picturing Sonic the Hedgehog giving a ring to Amy Rose.

412 - Love, Springfieldian Style

  • Mr. Burns and Smithers are having a Valentine's Day dinner. Burns' platter has a "Sweet on You" candy heart, while Smithers' has one reading "Release the Hounds". Cut to Burns' dogs chasing Smithers away.

A - Bonnie And Clyde

B - Shady And The Vamp

C - Sid And Nancy

413 - The Debarted

414 - Dial "N" for Nerder

415 - Smoke on the Daughter

  • Chazz Busby's commercial.
    See that? That's talent. You think you got it? You don't. 'Cause only I can teach it and I ain't taught you, so you don't. The Chazz Busby Ballet Academy is coming to Springfield. Auditions are Monday, callbacks are Tuesday, Wednesday you see I'm a heartless bastard, Thursday you realize YOU LOVE ME, DAMMIT!, Friday, we're closed.
  • When Marge gives the aesop about not making your children live your dream, Bart asks Homer if he can stop being a heel luchador named El Guapo (the bold). Homer refuses and asks him to perform a Cheap Heat routine.

416 - Papa Don't Leech

  • The reconciliation song:
    All: Yeah Daddy's back!
    Lurleen Lumpkin: And I'm feeling like a daughter
    All: Daddy's back!
    Bart: And she's feeling like she oughta
    All: Daddy's back!
    Royce Lumpkin: And he's drinking bottled water
    Lisa: Keep it down! I'm reading Harry Potter
    Marge: My body wash is Estee Lauder
    All: Daddy's back and I'm feeling like a daughter again!
    (Beat)
    Grampa: And here comes Grampa with an otter!
    • Also later in the episode where Royce steals Lurleen's song and sells it to the Dixie Chicks, turning it into a typical patriotic country song by simply substituting "Feeling like a daughter" with "Feeling patriotter".

417 - Apocalypse Cow

  • Bart's marriage:
    Bart: Mom, I have to do this. I love that big old cow!
    Mary: How could you say that?! I starved myself to get into this dress!
    Bart: No, no, no, no! You look great, honey!
  • This scene:
    Cletus: We name all our kids after what we think'll happen to 'em. Ain't that right, Stabbedinjail?
    Stabbedinjail: We'll see who stabs who.
  • There's something rather amusing about "Canon in D" being played by a jugband.

418 - Any Given Sundance

  • "No more Simpsons movies! One was plenty!"

419 - Mona Leaves-a

  • Homer's "Code 4" rampage while destroying the hippo dolls with Bart's recorded voice insulting him, even stabbing them with a stuffed unicorn's horn.

420 - All About Lisa

    Season 20 

421 - Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes

  • The montage of Homer and Ned bounty-hunting set to the Eddy Grant song "Electric Avenue". Highlights include the two sheepishly walking out of a Bad-Guy Bar when the patrons intimidate them and Ned having to hold back Drederick Tatum a bit longer because Homer forgot to recharge his taser.

422 - Lost Verizon

  • Principal Skinner having to repeatedly cross the freeway.
  • Bart makes phone calls to bartenders in various countries where they all respond just like Moe, except in Sweden.
    • Even funnier are the names Bart used like Maya Normus Butt note  to a bar in Hawaii, Drew. P. Weiner note  to a bar in Australia, and Olaf Myfrensargay note  to the bar in Sweden.
    Swedish Bartender: If I ever find out who this is, I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor.
  • When Bart found the phone and realized you can watch commercials, it cut to commercial.
    Bart: Aw cool you can even watch commercials on it! *Bart zooms in the phone into the screen with dramatic music playing.*
  • The dramatic film version of Everybody Poops.

423 - Double, Double, Boy In Trouble

424 - Treehouse of Horror XIX

A - Untitled Robot Parody

Apu: Stop it, stop it! Look, you have made the nacho machine cry.
  • The ending, where the robots put aside their differences and use the citizens for a giant foosball table. Made funnier by the fact it was Homer who suggested that to them in the first place.
  • Lisa mentions that last Christmas, the present Bart gave her was a box of his burps.
    Bart: That reminds me. Here's your stocking stuffer (burps into Lisa's stocking).

B - How To Get Ahead in Dead-Vertising

  • John Wayne wondering if Prince is gay ("Little sister, is that mustache coming or going?"), then becoming his friend when Prince snaps, "Well, your wife likes it."
  • Krusty telling Homer that the one true religion is a mix between voodoo and Methodist.
  • The John Wayne commercial, especially since the clip of him saying "fees" depicts his tombstone.

C - It's The Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse:

Lisa: What did you say, Mom?
Marge: Nothing, sweetie. I was just practicing my trombone.
  • Nelson calling The Grand Pumpkin a racist when he dismisses Nelson's threat to carve a yellow pumpkin. The Grand Pumpkin responds that all pumpkins are racist, but at least he admits it.
  • When Milhouse wants everyone to sing pumpkin carols, Nelson has a pumpkin carol of his own (to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"):
    You are such a stupid moron;
    It makes people wanna punch you!
    The Grand Pumpkin's super-gaaayyyy!
    Punch, punch, punch, punch, wedgie!

425 - Dangerous Curves

  • "Why do married women always have husbands?"

426 - Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words

427 - Mypods and Boomsticks

  • Bart speaking over Steve Mobs.
    Bart: You think you're so cool just because you buy a 500 dollar phone with a picture of a fruit on it? Well, guess what? They cost 8 dollars to make and I pee on every one! I have made a fortune off you chumps and I've invested it all in Microsoft! Now my boyfriend Bill Gates and I kiss each other on a pile of your money!"
    • For that matter, the entire Mapple store scene.

428 - The Burns and the Bees

  • Homer's apocalyptic vision of a world without honey — and getting crushed into a cube by WALL•E.
  • Mark Cuban's flamboyancy, including being a one-man band.
  • Homer telling Lisa that the abandoned greenhouse was once very prosperous until he was put in charge.
  • Mr. Burns' outdated national anthem.
    Burns: My country 'tis of thee, Austria-Hungary. Obey your king.
    • Also, Burns shooting the gorilla mascot when he tries to slam dunk.
    Smithers: Sir, were those real bullets?
    Burns: Yes. Was that a real gorilla?
    Smithers: No.
    Burns: I see.

429 - Lisa the Drama Queen

430 - Take My Life, Please

  • "I WANNA LIVE IN THE SAUCE!"
    Chef: If you could live in the sauce, don't you think I would live in the sauce? Stupid.
  • And there's this gem:
    Homer: Oh, I get it, you're all going to try to convince me that my life is great just like it is, right?
    Lisa: Are you kidding? We couldn't even convince you that Bruce Wayne is Batman.
    Homer: Oh, come on, that billionaire playboy. He's too busy socializing at cocktail parties and managing the affairs of the Wayne foundation.
    Marge: (whispering) Don't open this one again.
    Lisa: Why does he think Alfred is friends with Batman?
    Marge: Just stop.

431 - How the Test was Won

  • During the bus ride:
    Bart: This isn't a helicopter!
    Otto: What? Not a helicopter?
    Skinner: Let me explain this to you in terms even the simplest will understand. We're hiding you in Capital City so that your numbskullery won't bring down the grades of the children who are our future.
    Kearney: Will there be other numbskulls there? Sort of a numbskull Olympics, as it were?
    Jimbo: Let's all act stupid!
  • Another scene from the bus ride:
    Bart: Hey, I just realized something. You're stuck babysitting us losers, which makes you the real loser.
    Skinner: For your information, I am not a loser. I am a successful principal who paints houses in the summertime.
    Dolph: You painted our garage, and it was peeling by October!
    Skinner: Your dad insisted I use an inferior primer.
    Bart, Nelson, Jimbo, Dolph, & Kearney: Loser! Loser!
    Ralph: Excuse me, mommy. I have to go potty.
    Skinner: Otto, could you pull over?
    Otto: Sorry. I was mesmerized by that little boy's dance.
  • At the gas station:
  • Otto and the kids' impression of Principal Skinner.

432 - No Loan Again, Naturally

Ned: It's Ash Wednesday, everybody! Set down your gins and confess your sins!
  • Another scene:
    Homer: Hey, look on the bright side. At least it's not raining. See, I told you. It's not raining. So we're just homeless.
  • Homer getting electrocuted by copper wires.

433 - Gone Maggie Gone

  • Kent Brockman pulling a Bill O'Reilly when he can't assemble the solar eclipse viewing box on the air.
    Kent: This was supposed to be pre-made! Fine, I'll do it myself. Where is the end of the friggin' tape?! Forget it! We'll do it next week!
    Stagehand: The eclipse is today.
    Kent: THERE'S AN ECLIPSE WHEN I SAY THERE'S AN ECLIPSE!
  • The sign to the bell tower that says "Keep Out" is accompanied by another one that says, "Or enter- I'm a sign, not a cop."
  • Lisa thinks she solved the mystery by arranging the words on the Springfield sign into a sentence, "Regally, the rock gem is Lisa". She shows it to Mother Superior, who changes the anagram to "It's really Maggie, Sherlock"

434 - In the Name of the Grandfather

435 - Wedding for Disaster

  • Maggie's Imagine Spot of Marge as Godzilla and Homer as King Kong. Particularly when after Marge/Godzilla stalks off, Homer/Kong puts on reading glasses and sits down with the paper.

436 - Eeny Teeny Maya Moe

  • When Moe goes to Dr. Nick to make him shorter so he can win Maya back, Dr. Nick almost gives him a sex change and accidentally gives the height reduction surgery to Mr. Largo:
    Mr. Largo: (screams) I look nothing like Julie Newmar!

437 - The Good, the Sad and the Drugly

  • Lisa seeing the world as a paradise of happy faces (including Chief Wiggum bleeding happy faces after being shot by Snake), thanks to being drugged up with medication.

438 - Father Knows Worst

  • Homer imagining Marge water-skiing on a stegosaurus after noticing how distant Marge has become.
    • It gets funnier when Homer believes that it is the most likely reason why Marge became distant.

439 - Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh!

  • Chief Wiggum trying to get the Springfield Mafia to attend Ralph's birthday party:
    Chief Wiggum: It's gonna be fun. Batman's gonna be there.
    (the Mafia gets scared)
    Louie: Ba-Ba-Ba-Batman?!
    Legs: I ain't messin' with no Caped Crusader!
    (They all run away)
  • Bart remembering that he was playing hide-and-seek with Milhouse:
    Milhouse: (inside a dumpster) Three weeks! This must be a new record!
  • Homer's sarcastic reply when Bart says he doesn't want to lose his elementary school friends.
    Homer: Ooooh elementary school friends are forever. You'll always be with Milhouse. Oh stand by me, just stand by me
    Milhouse joining Homer: Oh stand by me.

440 - Four Great Women and a Manicure

A - Queen Elizabeth I

  • In the first segment, Moe mistaking Selma for Grendel and calling for Beowulf.

B - Snow White

C - Lady Macbeth

D - Maggie Rourke

  • The "Fountainhead" parody is pretty good as well.
    "Ellsworth Toohey": MEDIOCRITY RULES!

441 - Coming to Homerica

  • Homer throwing up in Lisa's saxophone, only to get it stuck on his face.

    Season 21 

442 - Homer the Whopper

  • The continuity errors in the finished Everyman movie.

443 - Bart Gets a 'Z'

444 - The Great Wife Hope

445 - Treehouse of Horror XX

A - Dial "M" for Murder or Press "#" to Return to Main Menu

B - Don't Have A Cow, Mankind

  • When the munchers attack the Simpsons' house.
    Homer: To the panic room!
    Marge: We don't have a panic room!
    Homer: To the panic room store!

C - There's No Business Like Moe Business

  • The whole thing is depicted as an in-universe stage musical, all the violence being fake (though, in the case of Homer's Body Horror situation, rather realistic).
  • While Homer is trapped impaled on Moe's distiller (causing his blood to end up in the beer, which Moe takes advantage of as it makes Marge more willing to see him as her lover), he convinces Marge that Homer left her. How? By telling her that he came out of the closet. Homer proceeds to sing a flashy musical number about wanting to have sex with men from around the world. It's as hilarious as it sounds.
    • Afterward, Moe tries to milk some more blood out of Homer, he's promptly reminded that Homer just did that musical number and has to get back into costume. Moe is left awkwardly improvising as Homer gets his make-up on.
  • Homer "killing" Moe (by tossing an obviously fake dummy around).
  • Doubling as a heartwarming moment, this exchange after the aforementioned "killing" of Moe.
    Homer: Will you still love a man who's part-beer?
    Marge: I always have. (kisses him)

446 - The Devil Wears Nada

  • During Homer and Marge's attempt to play a romantic "love dice" game:
    Homer: Lick ... eyes! Umm, I'll try again... Spank ... hair? What the...? Whisper into ... ass?! Ohhh, this game sucks!
  • Marge tries to get Homer in the mood by showing her breasts, but this only causes Homer to hallucinate Marge's boobs as a pair of Carl's heads on Marge's chest barking orders at him.
    Homer: Leave me alone, you two! (sobs hysterically)

447 - Pranks and Greens

448 - Rednecks and Broomsticks

449 - O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

450 - Thursdays with Abie

  • The subplot revolves around Bart taking care of Larry the Lamb, a stuffed animal his class has to take home and care for. Bart hates the thing, which leads to this exchange:
    (Bart is swinging Larry around while Santa's Little Helper bites it)
    Bart: That's it boy, go for the nards!
    Lisa: Bart! (grabs Larry) If you don't want him, give him to me.
    Bart: How come you never act like this when I'm cruel to real animals?
    Lisa: I do, it enrages me!
    Bart: I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody.
    Lisa: (angrily) I'm a FREAKING BUDDHIST!!
    • Likewise, the main story, filled with Cassandra truths, brick jokes, ironic and meaningful echoes, laced with a heaping helping of good, old-fashioned shout-outs to make any elderly viewer laugh. One exchange in particular takes place during Abe's reminiscing of being a shoe-shiner on the platform for the Tinsletown (a.k.a. Hollywood) express. As the train pulls in, out steps the usual parodies of classic actors like Fatty Arbuckle, the Three Stooges, and Paul Muni (who, apparently, always looked like Frankenstein, even in real life), and Abbot and Costello. Abe looks up, realizes that he's shining the shoes of Clark Gable, and this exchange takes place:
    Young Abraham: (excitedly) Clark Gable!
    Gable: That's right! Perhaps you've seen my brief yet memorable appearance in Du Barry, Woman of Passion?
    Young Abraham: (excitedly) I sure have, Mr. Gable! Say, why haven't you been in any good pictures yet?
    Gable: I'm not sure. Maybe the right role just hasn't come along yet. Say, what's that you're reading?
    Young Abraham: Oh, this? It's just Gone with the Wind. It's got a boring romance story, and only one swear word, but not a very good one. Here, you can have it.
    Gable: (curiosity raised) Gone With The Wind, eh? Let's see... (flips through pages) Garbage, garbage, my line, garbage, my line, garbage, garbage, my line, epic war plot, fancy dresses, Yes! I can do this! (closes book, hops on train) (shouting) Thanks, kid! Don't tell this to another soul for about 60 years!

451 - Once Upon a Time in Springfield

452 - Million Dollar Maybe

453 - Boy Meets Curl

  • As Homer, Marge, Principal Skinner, and Agnes Skinner go to the National Curling Trials, the National Curly Trials occurs nearby.
    Moe (Szyslak): Oh, wiseguys eh? (slaps a long line of Curly impersonators)

454 - The Color Yellow

  • Lisa's outrage at her ancestors being a bunch of scoundrels.
    Homer: Yeah, the Simpson family is a long line of horse thieves, deadbeats, horse beats, dead thieves, and even a few alcoholics.
    • When Lisa vows to find a good ancestor even if she has to "go all the way back to Adam and Eve", Grampa remembers Adam and Eve Simpson, otherwise known and Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
  • To back up Homer's claim to "quit while you're ahead", Marge remarks the time she and Homer walked out of Carrie after the title character was crowned prom queen to pretend the movie had a happy ending.
  • Homer coerces Grampa into revealing his secrets (by fiddling with the thermostat), with unexpected results:-
    Grampa: D-day's 6th June, repeat 6th June. Allied forces will on the beaches in the following order- Sword, Gold, Juno, Utah, Omaha... Are you writing this down, Fritz?
  • When the family finds out that one of their ancestors who they thought were slave owners married their freed slave, thus making them 1/64 black.
    Bart: So that's why I'm so cool.
    Lisa: And that's my jazz is so smooth.
    Homer: And that's why I earn less than my white coworkers!

455 - Postcards from the Wedge

  • Homer's attempt to stop Bart from being distracted from his homework by watching Pokémon: drawing all over the screen.
  • The school almost collapses from the underground subway's tremor. Then, it completely gets destroyed by the flagpole. Nelson and Mrs. Krabappel high-five to this.
  • Then following the scene:
    Marge: Mister, you are grounded!
    Homer: And no TV!

456 - Stealing First Base

  • The scene in which after Bart's earlier kissing of a girl lands the school in trouble, the school declares itself an 'Affection Free Environment'. An informational play is carried out with Skinner and Willie acting as Bart and the girl respectively, and the two of them, rather uneagerly, kissing each other. When everyone in the assembly hall starts laughing at this, Superintendent Chalmers steps in and threatens to make them keep kissing until the kids stop laughing. Needless to say it doesn't stop.
  • The part when Lisa thinks she's in a dream after getting an F, imitates an alarm clock sound to get herself to wake up, and tries to fly, but falls.

457 - The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed

  • Just about everything Jakob the tour guide (voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen) says.
  • When Homer and Ned are visiting Jesus' tomb.
    Homer: It's so nice and cool in the tomb of the unknown savior.
    Ned: Unknown!? He's the tomb of the most famous man who ever lived!
    Homer: Porky Pig?
    Ned: PORKY PIG'S NOT A MAN, HE'S A PIG! AND HE'S NOT EVEN A REAL PIG!
    Homer: But he is buried here, right?
    • Followed by Ned getting angry at Homer that all the pictures on his camera are funny soda labels and proceeds to delete all the pictures on it. Then Homer reminds him that it's actually his camera.
    • Homer having a vision of meeting VeggieTales expies.
    • Lisa kicking Bart in the groin to get a plane seat.

458 - American History X-cellent

  • Burns's illiterate cellmate becoming a born-again Christian based off what he sees as an image of Jesus Christ on a book cover...but it happens to be Charles Manson on the cover of Helter Skelter.

459 - Chief of Hearts

  • Chief Wiggum throwing away Krusty's red nose.
    Krusty: There was cocaine in there! I won't last an hour!

460 - The Squirt and the Whale

  • The occasional blackouts causing discontent in the family, but top mention goes to Homer falling asleep on a sawmill table during a blackout before the light comes backs on and his head is barely seen getting sawed. He's seen in the next scene with no injuries, miraculously enough.

461 - To Surveil with Love

  • As soon as Homer walks out of Moe's bar to get away from Flanders' surveillance camera, it starts hailing.
  • Bart mooning Ned to experiment where the cameras can't see.
  • The party with the blind spot.
  • Everyone acting legal when Marge was coming.
  • When Ned is shown he can use the cameras to speak to misbehaving folks as well as watch them.
    Shauna: I'm not making out with you with someone watching.
    Jimbo: C'mon, it's just a voice.
    Shauna: Don't push it, Kearny.
    Jimbo: I'm Jimbo.
    Shauna: Great. Make me look easy in front of the voice.
    Jimbo: But you are easy. Don't be ashamed of what you are!

462 - Moe Letter Blues

463 - The Bob Next Door

464 - Judge Me Tender

  • When Moe tries to sit during the dog competition, while everyone puts their stuff on their adjacent seats to exclude Moe, Agnes just burns the next chair.
  • The Running Gag of Lisa invading people's imagine spots to sell band candy.

    Season 22 

465 - Elementary School Musical

466 - Loan-a Lisa

467 - MoneyBART

  • This conversation:
    Mike Scoscia: I did! But it also gave me super-managerial powers!
  • "I made baseball as much fun as doing your taxes!"
  • When Lisa takes over as the manager, the guys all groan that a girl doesn't know anything about managing baseball. She counters by listing off several managers who had feminine-sounding names (such as Sheva Alomar and Terry Francona), only to be informed they were all men.

468 - Treehouse of Horror XXI

Opening

  • Professor Frink's Frankenstein monster wanting to watch The Office (US), followed by a parody of that show's opening where the workers include the monster, a witch, a werewolf, a zombie, and an elderly hunchbacked hag.

A - War and Pieces

B - Master And Cadaver

C - Tweenlight

469 - Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life

  • Homer tries to buy Maggie a toy at a gas station but he keeps getting the wrong one.
    Homer: You couldn't do this to me if you weren't behind a sheet of glass.
    Clerk: Ain't no glass. (hits Homer)
    Homer: You're lucky your behind that sheet of glass.
  • When Nelson is about to beat up Bart, Bart tries to sweet talk him by saying that Nelson has good teeth for someone who never goes to the dentist. Unfortunately, he strikes a nerve because all of Nelson's teeth fell out and he's actually wearing dentures. Saying that Nelson does a lot with a limited wardrobe doesn't help either, because Nelson just assumes Bart is calling him poor.

470 - The Fool Monty

  • After Mr Burns anounces he's dying at a fancy dinner he organised for that exact purpose, there's a brief moment of silence, before...
    Homer: HELL YES!
  • This unforgettable exchange when Bart encounters the amnesia-struck Mr. Burns.
    Bart: Anthill. Moose poop. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns?
    Mr. Burns: (Groans)
    Bart: My poop stick brought him back to life! But which end? (Sniffs both ends of stick he is holding).
    Mr. Burns: Are you my mommy-daddy-puppy?
    Bart: Cool, your brains have turned to oatmeal!
    Mr. Burns: Oatmeal? Is that my name?
  • There's a Freeze-Frame Bonus that shows a list of people who wants to borrow an amnesiac Burns as revenge. Makes you wonder how he wronged the nicest man in Springfield and several one-shot characters. Especially the children.

471 - How Munched is That Birdie in the Window?

  • Skinner tells Homer and Marge that Bart's been behaving much better since he's sad, and he wants them to make him sadder.
    Homer: Marge, listen to the man. He pays Bart's salary.
    Marge: No, he doesn't.
    Homer: Why don't you even support my gibberish? I'd do it if you were stupid.
  • Child/pet psychologist, for Bart and Santa's Little Helper. "Now, Marge, from what I understand from our phone conversation, you have a terrible service provider."
  • While the ostrich attacked the Simpsons, one of them hit the ostrich with an object, after being beaten with the object from the ostrich, someone besides Homer, or Marge, or even Lisa said "WHY YOU LITTLE..." and strangled the ostrich.

472 - The Fight Before Christmas

  • "Nein, nein! Why did I go to the nine o'clock show?" John Lennon would've found that hilarious!
    • Also, the fact that Hitler tries to avoid getting killed by Marge by removing his mustache, slapping it on the face of the guy sitting next to him, and then yelling "Das ist Hitler!"
    • At the end of the segment, Lisa wakes up and takes out an elephant doll and the book The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.
    Lisa: This is the last time I bring these two to bed together.
    • The entire segment at the end, which is a parody of Sesame Street. Words cannot describe it.

473 - Donnie Fatso

  • Chier Wiggum giving Homer the first law tickets of the new year.
    Homer: 50 bucks! That used to cover 2 public nudities and a poop in the park! (crumples up ticket)
    Chief Wiggum: Oh! That's vandalizing city property! Write him up again, Lou!
    Homer: What the hell?
    Chief Wiggum: Mild obscenity before 10 AM. Also illegal.

474 - Moms I'd Like to Forget

Marge: I don't want to go to sea, because the sand makes me sad, because it used to be big rocks. But not anymore...but not ANYMORE!

475 - Flaming Moe

476 - Homer the Father

  • The episode is about Homer learning to be a better father to Bart by watching a Full House-esque sitcom. Then there's this scene:
    Homer: The boy's acting really weird. I did everything that TV show told me to and he's still not happy.
    Marge: Well, maybe you shouldn't listen to a 30-year-old TV show that only got on the air because the creator had evidence the network president ran over a guy.
  • Bart's Imagine Spot of being punished for his treason, including a bald eagle ripping out his heart Prometheus-style.
  • Homer helps the Chinese spies build a nuclear plant. The plant explodes immediately after he cuts the ribbon.

477 - The Blue and the Gray

  • An inquiry about hair results in this:
    Bart: I just have one question about hair: where does mine start? Head, head, head, hair! Where's the border?!
    Lisa: Oh, my God! Me too!
    (all 3 children frantically check their heads)
    Bart: WHAT ARE WE!?

478 - Angry Dad: The Movie

  • From Halle Berry's talks to Randy Newman's "You've Got an Enemy".

479 - The Scorpion's Tale

480 - A Midsummer's Nice Dream

481 - Love Is a Many Strangled Thing

  • Homer's attempts to shoot down Mr. Burns' runaway hot air balloon: he fires into a flock of geese that scatter and form into the shape of a "?!", then he shoots the M off the end of a plane's banner reading "Marry me, Pam" and turns it into "Marry me, Pa", causing the father of the person who commissioned the pilot to slap his son. Homer gets Mr. Burns down when he shoots the head off of a gargoyle statue and it falls on Burns' head and weighs him down, and when the paramedics remove it he now has demon horns on his head that he pushes back in.
  • Homer's explanation to a therapist as to why he always strangles Bart dips into a sort of backwards Freudian Excuse:
    Homer: The other day Bart, the little dickens, said I had an elephant butt. So, anyway, I'm strangling him, and I said to Bart—
    Dr. Zander: Wait, hold on a moment. You were strangling your son?
    Homer: Yeah, strangling. I mean, it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's the sharpest. Right? Anyway, I said to Bart—
    Dr. Zander: You're actually serious. You physically lay your hands on your boy's neck?!
    Homer: Well, yeah. I guess it's just how I was raised.
    (cut to a thought bubble, reminiscing Homer's childhood with his own father. They sit at a table, looking at his report card)
    Abe: Look at these grades, they're a disgrace! No TV for a week!
    Homer: Why you little—! (he gets on the table and strangles Abe)
  • Homer's nightmares about Bart playing various Abusive Parents of popular culture with Homer as his victim, with them as Joe and Michael Jackson, Wilbur and Ben Meechum, and Mary Lee and Precious.
  • Bart prank-texting Moe.
    Moe: (typing) "When...I...get...a hold...of...you...I—" Oh, dammit, I typed an "F" and not a "D". Delete...delete...delete...delete—Oh crap, I just donated $20 to Haiti!

482 - The Great Simpsina

  • Bart and Lisa are sent to get rid of a surplus of peaches. When Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph lament that they have nothing to throw on the day of the Chinese lantern festival, Bart offers them his peaches, but they throw him through the lanterns instead.
  • When Bart struggles to remove the plastic wrapping on his Krusty magic kit, Lisa hits him and makes him cough up a pair of plastic scissors, then a pair of metal scissors, then a pair of shears. Homer picks Bart up and shakes him down to see if he coughs up a pot of gold.

483 - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

484 - Homer Scissorhands

  • After Homer cuts Patty's hair in her sleep with secateurs (pruning shears) because paint got on her hair and then paint thinner put a hole in it because of Bart and Lisa, both Patty and Selma think it's really good and Selma asks Homer to do her hair.
    Selma: I never thought I'd say this but Homer Simpson, do me!
    (Homer puts the secateurs to his throat)
    Selma: I meant my hair!
  • Homer's foible hallucinations.

485 - 500 Keys

  • This bit of Lampshade Hanging.
    Skinner: Sir, we have a problem with Lisa Simpson.
    Chalmers: Seymour, I superintend 15 schools in the district, yet every time I come here it's to see you about one of the Simpson kids.
  • As Bart keeps using the keys he found to perform pranks and ends up accidentally doing good each time, he uses one to operate a hydraulic lift to moon people on several floors of a building. One of them turns into a werewolf.
  • This Gilligan Cut:
    Gil: (after jumping off a roof onto the lift) I'm alive! And you're my naked fairy godboy!
    Bart: Aww jeez, I hope no-one heard you say that.
    Gilligan Cut
    Major: And to this naked fairy godboy, we present the key to the city.
  • When Lisa thinks about what Nancy Drew would do in her situation, she has a thought bubble of an elderly Nancy turning to The Hardy Boys, only to find that they're dead and buried behind her. When Lisa brings up Nancy again, she's buried between Joe and Encyclopedia Brown.

486 - The Ned-Liest Catch

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    Season 23 

487 - The Falcon and the D'ohman

  • Homer while being kidnapped: "No! Not the middle seat!"
  • Homer's hostage video:
    Homer: Death to America!
    Ukrainian Gangster: Stick to script.
    Homer: Fine.
  • The play Wayne did for Kim Jong Il during his captivity, the best part is that he seems proud of his work when he watches.
    Actor: Ha ha ha, you[Kim Jong's actor]? You are too benevolent to be our leader.

488 - Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts

  • The couch gag, which is done by Ren & Stimpy creator himself, John Kricfalusi. As a bonus, the episode itself is done at Rough Draft Studios, which not only does many other Simpsons episodes, but also did a number of Ren & Stimpy's second season, as well as all of the majority of those done after John's firing.
  • Chalmers' flashback to the last time he taught.
  • "If school failed me, does it have to go to Summer Jimbo?"
  • Milhouse throwing the school copying machine out of the window.

489 - Treehouse of Horror XXII

A - The Diving Bell And The Butterball

B - Dial D For Diddily

C - In The Na'vi

490 - Replaceable You

491 - The Food Wife

  • Homer goes with Bart and Lisa to a video game expo. There is an Angry Birds demonstration where they have a stuffed bird aimed at stuffed pigs. The bird, however, misses the pigs completely, hits an actual construction site, and drops rafters on TNT causing the entire thing to blow-up. Everyone cheers.
  • Homer trying to get Bart and Lisa to the "Funtendo" showroom FPS-style while throwing discs at people, then when he gets hit he restores his health with a slice of pizza.
  • Gordon Ramsey telling Marge that she messed up with involving Homer in the first place, then telling her to get out of his dream, since he stole it away from her, to the point that Gordon himself wakes up in his bed wondering "What the bloody hell was that?!" before Marge wakes up proper.
  • Homer being caught literally in the crossfire between the cops and meths heads.
    Homer: This better be dinner theatre!

492 - The Book Job

  • Homer getting taken away by security for sleeping inside the mouth of a dinosaur.
    Homer: It's not against the law to sleep in a Tyrannosaurus head!
    Guard: Sir, you're inside an Allosaurus.
    Homer: I demand to speak to my paleontologist!
    • Even funnier that the head actually does look more like a Tyrannosaurus than an Allosaurus.
  • The entirety of Neil Gaiman in this episode. Especially the end: "I've heisted my way to the best seller list once again... AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO READ!"
    • Selma tries to stop Moe cutting Neil Gaiman's throat. Moe doesn't care if he wrote The Sandman, he's going down!
    • "CHEESEBURGERS, FRENCH FRIES, I'M ALL OVER THAT PAL"
    • When Lisa switches the backpacks: "I got the idea from every movie ever!"
    • Lisa's seemingly nonstop procrastination, which even spills over into the montage where Homer's Crew is writing their book.
    • During the montage, Neil wakes up the drowsy crew and gives them their drinks...Except for Moe, who he wakes up with a Taser.
    • When the team finds out that their book has been mangled Bart initially wants to just take the money and run. Then Skinner reveals that the epic backstory involving a war between Trolls and Ogres was replaced with a dance off at the vampire prom. Bart promptly tears up the check and declares "let's get our book back."

493 - The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants

494 - The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

495 - Holidays of Future Passed

  • The montage of Simpsons Christmas cards 30 years into the future, especially the ones where it seemed that Lisa experimented in Lesbianism during college!note 
    • A Freeze-Frame Bonus on the picture of Lisa's family at the end of the montage reveals that they are the Simpson-Van Houten-Simpsons.
    • Grandpa falls asleep at Thanksgiving and lands face first in a pie topped with whipped cream. When he wakes up, he has a large white beard, which leads to this line.
    Grandpa: I'm Santa? Oh, now I'll never die.
  • Ralph being Chief of Police. He was cloned several times and they keep dying in the same scene.
  • Moe's hasn't changed at all due to how many times it's become a crime scene. The floor is covered in chalk outlines. One of them is Sideshow Bob, with a rake beside him.

496 - Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson

  • In this episode, there is a parody of the bottom marquees of news networks. Highlights include: Obama declares mulligan on first term, Steve Jobs reveals iGhost and Gingrich looks forward to first term, fourth wife.
  • Homer as a spoof of TV conservative talk hosts, primarily Glenn Beck.

497 - The D'oh-cial Network

  • This exchange
    Lisa: I've created something really popular.
    Homer: And I've created something that created something popular.
    Grandpa: And I created a fat, alcoholic hippo.
    Grandpa: A STUPID, fat alcoholic hippo.
  • The car accidents all across town.
    Carl (head and butt sticking out from front mirror): Somebody call 911!
    Lenny (head and left arm sticking out): I dunno how use my phone on my phone!

498 - Moe Goes from Rags to Riches

499 - The Daughter Also Rises

500 - At Long Last Leave (the 500th episode)

501 - Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart

  • Apu attempting to rob the new health store, where Snake works as a cashier.
    Apu: This is a stick-them-up! Because I have a gun, you must stick them up now! Yes, it is loaded, with bullets you put in my chest!

502 - How I Wet Your Mother

503 - Them, Robot

504 - Beware My Cheating Bart

  • When Marge is concerned about Homer not losing any weight in spite of his new treadmill (which he's only using to watch a parody of Lost), Grampa tells her that she shouldn't believe anything Homer tells her and also claims that his son's first word was a lie. We then cut to a flashback of Abe catching toddler Homer after he drew on the walls.
    Abe: Who did this?
    Homer: Mommy!
    Abe: She did? I'm withholding affection without telling her why!

505 - A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again

  • When Bart realizes the cruise is only going to last a week, he rushes out to talk to himself about it. Passing by a sign that says "7:30 - On-deck Soliloquies" with other people having them too.

506 - The Spy Who Learned Me

507 - Ned 'n Edna's Blend

508 - Lisa Goes Gaga

  • Everybody partying on the boarding ramp after Lady Gaga missed her flight from putting every last one of her costumes and shoes on the security conveyor belt.

    Season 24 

509 - Moonshine River

  • The opening scene with the racecars. A cat falls onto one causing it to crash into a yarn store. As the driver runs out on fire, the cat plays with a ball of yarn. The audience awws, and is then hit by another race car.
  • The part where an air conditioner falls on Homer, and he strangles a lamppost.
  • Marge and Lisa misadventures of trying to find cheap entertainment in New York.

510 - Treehouse of Horror XXIII

Opening

  • The beginning where a Mayan guard who looks like Moe is tricked into being sacrificed, which, thousands of years later, causes the alleged 2012 apocalypse as predicted by the Mayan calendar.

A - The Greatest Story Ever Holed

  • Bart trying to toss his math homework in the black hole, then giving up and putting Mrs. Krabappel in there.
  • Homer thinking calling a black hole a black hole is racist ("Wow, a black hole! I'm sorry, can we call it that?") This is funnier if you know that this actually has happened in real life.

B - UN-Normal Activity

  • The ending where Homer is forced into a three-way with two demons to save Marge from having Maggie stolen by a demon that was summoned by Patty and Selma back in 1982, but before he could start they both utter the safe word.
    • Homer yelling, "We have stairs?!" as he's running with the video camera in hand.

C - Bart and Homer's Excellent Adventure

  • The appearance of the many Homers from history, including a fat Elvis Homer, an angel Homer, a pope Homer (who refers to Jesus as "Jebus"), an Andre the Giant wrestler Homer, a one-eyed alien Homer, and a caveman Homer (who's actually supposed to be Homer from the age of the Renaissance).
    • The many Homers from history getting beaten by Artie and Bartie Ziff.

511 - Adventures In Baby-Getting

  • Marge making out with a stuffed walrus.

512 - Gone Abie Gone

  • The Wacky Racers couch gag.
  • Homer ordering fast food. Marge and Dr. Hibbert appear in thought bubbles to remind Homer that he's supposed to be eating healthier, at which point Hibbert's wife appears in her own thought bubble... and promptly starts arguing with thought-bubble Hibbert, scaring Homer and thought-bubble Marge.

513 - Penny Wiseguys

  • Homer stopping Dan from shooting one of Fat Tony's goons by throwing Bart at him.
  • The Old Jewish Man asking for more flies in his soup (an inversion of the classic "there's a fly in my soup" joke).

514 - A Tree Grows in Springfield

  • Lisa enters Homer into a raffle for a MyPad.
    Homer: Lisa, no one ever wins these raffles. The winner is always some guy you've never heard of.
    Skinner: And the winner is... Homer Simpson.
    Homer: KILL HIM! I mean, whoo hoo!
    • Homer face-timing Lenny while he's skydiving.
    • Steve Mobbs ordering God around.

515 - The Day The Earth Stood Cool

  • The sight gag with a parody of The Onion: "Scientist Proves Human Heaven Fake, Cat Heaven Real"

516 - To Cur, With Love

  • This exchange:
    Abe: Unfortunately, like most true stories, this has a crappy ending.
    Bart: (incredulously) You have a story with an ending?
    Abe: All my stories have endings now. They're putting something new in my Jell-o at the home.
  • Homer's side of the story of how he lost his dog Bongo. He claims that Abe hated how he loved his dog and sold him to a pair of witches. Things get sillier when Homer claims that his dad kidnapped Santa so that he would never get the toy he wanted (Abe is shown with Santa in a cage, cutting off his finger, and then turning it into a candy cane he sucks on). After that, Homer claims that the Santa part is the only part that makes any sense.

517 - Homer Goes to Prep School

  • Homer's Lampshade Hanging of how often he goes to work.
    Marge: Are you sure you're OK to go into work?
    Homer: Well, it's been 8 months. I should probably get back.
    Moe: Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go back into our suspended states until he gets back.
  • This exchange defines Homer and Marge's relationship.
    Marge: You can't have secrets from your wife.
    Homer: It's very late in the marriage for you to tell me that.

518 - A Test Before Trying

  • Mrs. Krabappel using potato power to activate the slide projector so they can watch their Sometimes Y video, only for it to burn out seconds later.
  • The part with an unknown student's test (possibly Ralph) where everything but the ovals was filled in.
  • The teachers' and Skinner's reactions to learning who didn't take the test.
    Lisa: Wait, one student didn't take the test.
    Krabappel: Let it be Martin! Let it be Martin!
    Lisa: It's Bart.
    Teachers: (Groan)
    Skinner: I have an aunt named Hope too. Why don't you kill her?
    • Bart writing on his history book to make Lincoln tell Washington "Nice wig, grandma" and Washington retorting "At least I can take a bullet".

519 - The Changing of the Guardian

  • The episode as a whole didn't go over well, but when Homer, Marge, Lenny and Carl are all in a van together, it leads to this:
    Lenny: I'll tell you what women really want: A man who can hold a note the longest!
    Homer: That is the stupidest-
    Carl: One-two-three-go.
    All except Marge: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

520 - Love Is a Many Splintered Thing

  • When driving the car, Homer turns onto a skateboard ramp. He slams on the brakes, stopping the car in mid-air. We then cut do the dashboard, where the Cartoon Physics Meter is full.
    • Cletus's list of feuds, which includes Hatfields, the Hapsburgs, Time Warner Cable, The Muppets, his toe-nail 'what turned black', and finally, the Peacocks.
    • Homer's idea for the TV: hanging it up on the ceiling by rope.
    Homer: I had the idea for this years ago but your mother (Rope breaks) AAAAAAH! It's hurting my eyes!
    • Woody Allen making cameos in the second half of the episode.

521 - Hardly Kirk-ing

  • Toddler Lisa using Bart's drool as a moat for her origami castle in the flashback of how the Baby Poindexter video series stunted Bart's development, but not Lisa's.
  • Milhouse's voice changing from his dad's to Duffman's just with the use of a necktie.
    • His speech to Homer on Skype.
    • Him having to go to the bathroom really bad after taking Kirk's medication for improving pee flow.

522 - Gorgeous Grandpa

  • This exchange between Bart and Lisa when discussing how to get their grandfather a date.
    Lisa: You could go online. That's how young people today find dates.
    Bart: It's weird that you don't consider yourself a young person.
    Lisa: It's weird for me too.
  • After Bart acts like a showboat at a baseball game, we have this.
    Marge: Your behavior was totally out of line today. You're lucky they gave you a participation trophy.
    Lisa: I got one just for showing up! (holds up a larger trophy that reads Non-Participant)
  • When the family thinks Grampa might have been gay, they point out that Marge seems overly excited at the prospect of potentially having a gay relative.
  • After Grampa explains to Mr. Burns that wrestling is scripted, Burns looks directly at the camera and says "but that would mean that everyone who ever watched a wrestling match was a fool!"

523 - Black-Eyed, Please

  • Ned is trying to get Homer to punch him so they can be even.
    Ned: Come on, Homer! I'm insisting on a fisting!
    Smithers: What's this about a fisting?

524 - Dark Knight Court

  • Moe sneaks behind a curtain into a "Peep Show", and then he puts a quarter in and sees a bunch of Marshmallow Peeps.
    Moe: Not sure what I'm expecting to happen here.
  • "Egg don't belong in the chicken's eye! It belongs in her pee-poo-birth hole!"
  • The scene where a helicopter flies into the Fruit Bat Signal in the sky, blinding it and causing it to crash.
  • The ending scene parodying The Avengers.
  • The entire subplot of Mr. Burns becoming a superhero.
  • After it's revealed that the culprit of the Easter prank is really Groundskeeper Willie, Mr. Burns fights him as Fruit Bat Man and stuffs dollars into the tractor, causing it to explode. Mr. Burns floats down into Smithers's arms, and we get this exchange:
    Mr. Burns: Which side won? Good or evil?
    Smithers: Good, sir.
    Mr. Burns: And which side was I on?
    Smithers: Also good.
    Mr. Burns: Well, that's two surprises.

525 - What Animated Women Want

  • The Breaking Bad opening of Marge making cupcakes instead of meth.
  • Homer getting stuck in the bottomless chair he bought at a sex shop.
  • Moe writing erotic fanfiction so he can get rich off it à la 50 Shades of Grey.
  • When people visit the local sex shop, they try to hide from the camera as they entered. Homer, however, responds with a wave and a cheerful "Hello there!".

526 - Pulprit Fiction

  • Professor Frink's solution for the bedbug infestation is to make a repellent out of modified bear pheromones. It had a predictable side effect.
  • Homer thinking Krusty's monkey taser is a nose hair trimmer.
  • Reverend Lovejoy putting the frogs asleep with one of his sermons.

527 - Whiskey Business

  • While it was sad to see Moe's company fail, it was funny to see the value of his stock drop with each statement after he came to the New York Stock Exchange in his bartender uniform.
    Moe: Everyone, I am Moe, founder and CEO of the company, stock letters M.O.E. I am market manager and in charge of production. I will personally make each bottle with these two hands. My face will be on every bottle. And, we will use only the freshest ingredients made in America.

528 - The Fabulous Faker Boy

  • Justin Bieber getting turned away from the Ten and Below Talent Show due to his age ("That's another $25 I'll never see again! God!")
    • The warnings about Justin Bieber's appearance before and after that scene.
  • Any scene with Bill Hadernote  as Slava, a Russian man who wants Marge to teach him how to drive so he can pass his limo driver's exam.
  • Ralph singing the first part of "Candyman" ("Who can make the sun rise?"), then crying because he really was asking that.

529 - The Saga of Carl

  • Marge gets annoyed by the kids playing with their anime toys for too much and makes them all go to the museum...only to see the museum hosting the same toys.
    Marge: Dammit!
  • During the flight to Iceland, Homer tells Lenny and Moe that he just read about how Iceland is green, but Greenland is icy. "The vikings switched it around to trick everybody!" They all find this funny... and then we cut to them in the still pretty cold Iceland, freezing.

530 - Dangers on a Train

  • The flashback to Homer and Marge's first anniversary.
    Homer: Our one year anniversary. In your face, everyone who said we wouldn't last a year!
    Grandpa: I stand by my wedding toast!
    • Baby Bart's antics, such as breastfeeding from a mannequin and calling Flanders "daddy" to annoy Homer.
  • "Hey, LARDO, where are you going in your LARDO car? LAR Dville?" "THERE'S NO SUCH PLACE!"
  • The Sassy Madison Internet commercials (both the one that introduces the site and the one that played over the end credits)
  • Marge talking out loud about her relationship with Ben with him overhearing her despite her having closed her laptop. She puts the laptop in a drawer and still hears Ben is listening. She then opens up the drawer and puts Homer's photo in front of Ben's sight, causing him to scream when she closes back the drawer.
  • Homer asks Marge if she thinks their marriage will last 25 years. Bart looks at the camera and says "nothing should".
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