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Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

This game lives and breathes Black Comedy, and most of it is really funny.

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  • Co-game Directors Tim Cain and Leonard Boyarsky react to a 12-minute speedrun. Their commentary is a mixture of confused and impressed.
    "I'm really happy that this doesn't break; that this works."
    • They may have even encountered a bug. Usually when he needs to talk to someone, he skips through as fast as possible. One line of dialogue appears to be unskippable for some reason.
  • The trailer for The Outer Worlds 2 tells very little about the game beyond some pretty vistas and action shots—which is part of the joke: the narrator spends the entire runtime making fun of uninformative teaser trailers.
    Narrator: That "WWUUUAGH" sound can only mean one thing... we must gaze over an epic shot of a world. And there should be lens flares!
    • Funnily enough, if you look closely at the hero's "silhouette", it's virtually the same model as that of the default protagonist!
    • Doubly funny is that Phineas' voice actor (Pitor Michael) is the one narrating the trailer! Makes you wonder how he felt about his first outing...
    • Ultimately, all this flash presentation is just a front, as the trailer admits they haven't done the hero's character yet. Or the environments. Or anything except the title. And the title is...The Outer Worlds 2!

  • When Phineas first arrives on Hope to awaken you, his Dynamic Entry is ruined by his door getting jammed, causing him to start rapidly Button Mashing to fix it. Then it happens again when he goes to eject your pod.
  • After Phineas wakes you up from cryosleep he sends you down to Terra II to meet up with Capt. Alex Hawthorne so he can get you on your feet. Unfortunately for him, he was standing right underneath your Drop Pod when you landed. This pretty much sets the tone for the entire game.
  • The fact that you can play with low intelligence, just like in Fallouts 1, 2, and New Vegas, only this time, your companions will be your babysitters.
  • Some of your perk descriptions.
    Confidence: There's something about blood and violence that helps you focus. That's not disturbing at all.
  • The slogan for Spacer's Choice, maker of budget arms and supplies: "It's not the best choice, it's the Spacer's Choice!"
    • From a terminal on Gorgon "It's not the best choice, it's the only choice!"
    • The slogan for Boarst Wurst is equally bad, "It's not the wurst unless its boarst wurst." With the Nausea Fuel of a pig covered in tumors and cysts.
    • When life gives you lemons, consider it a free trial from your friends at Spacer's Choice.
    • Rizzo’s seems to not have a single good slogan for any of their products, they range from being horrendously flat, to downright Refuge in Audacity
    “Rizzo’s Lemon Slapp! Slapp your whole family tonight!
  • Spacer's Choice sells fake windows to add beauty and verisimilitude to your frontier home, instead of providing them with real windows.
  • Find any given terminal and there will usually be a nonchalant log about somebody dying or getting injured. Or how much the companies frown upon people doing that and fining them.
    Prismatic Hammer Research Terminal: There's a curious energy swirling about the weapon, though I have yet to identify the source. The air tastes of copper. And I have lost several teeth.
  • Your Holographic Shroud does everything it can to make you look like you belong somewhere you don't. You can ask why you could do something that complicated if you could just wear their uniform. Phineas dismisses it as absurd.
    • It also freshens your breath. How can a hologram do that, you ask?
  • After spending what is likely hours doing multiple quests to gain the trust of two different factions in order to complete a requirement to turn off a radio tower, you finally get to the end and upon being told that all you have to do is "walk outside and flip a switch" , your character goes through a series of incredulous statements asking if that actually means "I have to find three different keycards" or "fight a bunch of monsters". And no. You literally just walk outside and flip a switch.
    • Hiram, in turn, reacts incredulously to your incredulity. "Who would design something that way?"
  • If you get caught sneaking through a restricted area by a UDL commander, you can use Intimidate to get him to leave you alone by bullying him until he runs away in tears.
    Corporate Commander: You're not supposed to be here, are you?
    Unplanned Variable: And the UDL isn't supposed to hire jelly-spined milksops, but here we are.
    Corporate Commander: Oh... my... Laws... that's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me!
    Unplanned Variable: Really? Well, prepare to be dazzled again, you wobbling cystpig tumor!
    Corporate Commander: (on the verge of tears) I have to go. I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone see me crying on the job... again. And I was gonna escort you out nicely!
  • If you're caught by a mechanical, you can invoke logic bombs to get them to stop bothering you.
  • The elevator music, usually being a company's jingle, such as Spacer's Choice Leitmotif. The awkward silence that usually happens when you look at your companions and they just stoically stare back at you during the elevator rides with uplifting music in the background is rather comical, specially if you and them are wearing rugged, battle-worn pieces of armor.
  • There's a lot of understated humor in the Player Character's dialogue choices, which along with the usual diplomatic and aggressive answers always include snark and often lets them play along with Halcyon's inhabitants and their particular brand of insanity.
    *Ellie explains she bet she could outrun a raptidon.*
    Unplanned Variable: They're not THAT fast.
  • Activating the station for SubLight brings activates several facilities such as facility lights, security protocols, air recyclers and toilet flushers. That last one receives an error.
  • The Flavor Text of various items are very snarky.
    • (Basic Streetwear) These clothes would look good on anyone, but somehow Felix doesn't make them work. He's just too gangly.
    • (The Professor) These B&Q fashion lenses allow you to appear bored or condescending in any situation.
    • In one quest, a pirate asks you to retrieve a cigarette case that commemorates the loss of the Hope. The item description goes far beyond pitch-black comedy into almost vantablack comedy:
    "Nothing like a good smoke to help you remember someone dying in the airless void of space. Gasping for breath in their last moments."
  • Just in case the anti-corporation message is too subtle for you, one of the science weapons you find allows you to control people's minds by constantly repeating the Spacer's Choice slogan.
  • The Announcement Trailer mocks the dilemma of figuring out who to support in the game, and the player's likely homicidal response, with an argument between a soldier and civilian.
    Ellie: Taking on the corporations has left us with two options: bad, and worse. But you have to choose. And you have to choose now.
    (The soldier is dead while the civilian looks on in horror)
    Visibly startled Ellie: You know you didn't have to shoot either one, right? But it's fine... I guess. You just keep being you!
    • For extra humor it's Ellie telling you this, the crew member who's openly a pirate. Even she thinks randomly pulling out your gun and shooting someone is at least a bit surprising.

    The Unreliable 
  • The fact the Unreliable got its name by someone drawing "Un" in front of the ship's back. Originally, it was named the Reliable.
  • Also, the simple fact that ADA sounds a lot like GLaDOS makes her sassy, at times cheerfully psychotic demeanor that much funnier.
  • When ADA threatens to space you in order to get you off the ship, you can defuse the situation by pointing out the ship is still on the ground so nothing would decompress. She sheepishly admits that she doesn't really have the ability to do so.
  • ADA can only take orders from Captain Alex Hawthorne and then uses Loophole Abuse to say you're Alex Hawthorne. You can refuse to go along with this or genuinely be too stupid to understand.
  • At one point you walk onto the bridge to find SAM using a feather duster to dust ADA's console while she... well... let's just say she's pretty obviously enjoying it in a very non-chaste way. Then she realizes you've walked in... and instead of stopping she just awkwardly asks for some privacy
    • A similar situation has her not in the mood, upset that someone (likely Felix) had spilled Rizzo's Lemon Slapp all over her console.
  • If you get a good ending for Emerald Vale where the town recovers and starts to thrive, ADA (who hates that town) will spend the rest of the game being really passive-aggressive about it, moaning about how cool it would've been if Emerald Vale had been wiped out by, say, a deadly plague. But thanks for nothing, Captain.
  • As a random Easter Egg of sorts, a group of Wooly Cows sometimes appears in the Unreliable's cargo hold, while ADA complains about the fertilizer shipment someone keeps ordering. This is a Shout-Out to Firefly, but someone not familiar with that show will likely be left flabbergasted. Especially because, the one ADA line aside, no one on the ship acknowledges the cows and they are mysteriously gone the moment you travel to another planet.
  • Nyoka can occasionally be found passed out in her quarters, laying on the ground with her arms and legs positioned in such a way it looks like she just ragdolled onto the floor. Amusing, but made it's made hilarious by SAM standing next to her and sounding as concerned as he could possibly be using his soundbites.
  • During the Peril on Gorgon quest, the Unreliable is found by a group of mercenaries. ADA brings up the countermeasures in the airlock meant to protect the ship during boarding.
    Unplanned Variable: Our airlock has a death trap installed? ADA, you need to tell me these things!
    ADA: I understand. Allow me to rectify my oversight. Captain, please be informed that our airlock has a death trap installed.

  • Vicar Max's reaction to getting the heretical book he sent you to get.
    • Note that up to this point, Vicar Max behaves and speaks exactly the way you'd expect a typical Good Shepherd vicar to speak, so this one is really jarring.
    • Developer's Foresight kicks in if the language is set to French. He instead says the book is in Polish.
  • Vicar Max joins your party because you might need an adult.
    Parvati: I'm 28.
    Vicar Max: Exactly.
  • Actually, the good Vicar has some really funny lines in general. Arguably more so if you don't complete his companion quest. The one where he finds out that they've lost contact with Earth in the ending is downright pathetic.
    Vicar Max: First the food supply, and now this? That's it. I'm done. There is no Plan. Just. Random. Chaos.
    Phineas: You're experiencing a crisis of faith, preacher. Don't worry - that just means you've been paying attention.
  • Ellie is a thrill-seeking doctor who fancies brushes with death. This leads her to make some inappropriate comments.
    Ellie: (responding to someone who's worried their son will be melted by Mantiqueens). Technically, he'd be dissolved. Not melted.
    Old Woman: Not helping!
  • ADA isn't a malevolent AI, but she does like to make you uncomfortable now and then. For example, she feels the need to inform you that she doesn't spy on you while you change.
  • Parvati is a member of the Scientist faith (like most corporate colonists in good standing) and a reasonably faithful member. Her attempts to consult Vicar Max about spiritual issues are always disasters.
    Parvati: Vicar Max, I have a question.
    Max: [goes into long boring diatribe about the nature of the universe]. I'm sorry, you had a question?
    Parvati: No, I suppose that about summarizes it.
  • Parvati is developing a crush on someone and they've been exchanging messages, but she's not certain that her feelings are reciprocated, despite having been sent a poem prior.
    The Unplanned Variable: Nobody would send terrible, vaguely sensual poetry if they didn't like you.
  • Ellie and Felix agree that Parvati will probably be the one to go crazy and murder everyone. They even say, "it's always the nice ones."
  • Perpetual sweetheart Parvati's special attack is a jump that transitions into a two-handed overhead Ground Pound with her massive hammer. One of her lines when you tell her to use it is an adorably cheerful "I see a nail!" *SMASH*
  • Ellie trying to get Felix to shut up the way siblings often do. With a little game called "Staying quiet".
  • One dialogue between Felix and Nyoka has him ask her her opinion on a Gargle Blaster of his own creation - a mix of rum and Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs. The resulting concoction gave her a headache, which he takes as a sign that even more sugar is needed. She convinces him to try using Pteroray blood, which is naturally sweet - she has no idea why, but it is.
  • Vicar Max's companion quest takes him to a hermit, where everyone present has to get high.
    The Unplanned Variable: I'm committed to taking as many drugs as possible, so count me in as well.
  • All of the companion dialogue for the drug-bender at the hermit's in "The Empty Man" quest, but most of all;
    Nyoka: Oh, no. Ohhhhh no. One uptight holier-than-though preacher man is enough of a hassle. Now we got two? Time to go, Captain, before it gets worse.
    • It's can't be overstated how everyone is being an unempathetic dick while Max has a crisis of faith and is struggling with his listlessness.
    Felix: What's wrong, Max? Can't think straight? Now you know how I feel. Er, wait. Forget I said that.
    Felix: You look inside yourself all the time, Max. What with your head buried up your posterior.
    • During this time, you're informed that you've stripped naked and have eaten your clothes. Your responses are to deny it or say I Meant to Do That.
    • With a high enough intelligence, the Unplanned Variable can promptly resolve the quest by explaining to Max what lesson he's supposed to learn from his own dream.
  • Among Chef Raymond's worries is living in a walled town with only "a few centimeters of steel" between him and the Marauders and monsters outside:
    The Unplanned Variable: You look like you need more than a few centimeters.
    Ellie: That's What She Said.
    Chef Raymond: (sighs deeply) There is truly no end to my suffering.
  • SAM's constant cheerfulness is by itself amusing, but if you take the Robophobia perk, you can have the following exchange:
    The Unplanned Variable: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
    SAM: (still cheerful) Error: this unit is unable to process the service request "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!". Customer, please repeat the command.
    • Similarly, his cheeriness edges into completely inappropriate, depending on the context.
    SAM: (regarding the Early Retirement program) A lethal cleaning solution is the best cleaning solution. Don't smear germs around - kill them so they can't come back.
  • When Felix asks to join your crew, he can give a prepared speech written on his hand. Parvati really enjoys it.
  • Take Felix to the secret lab underneath Cascadia, and when you're confronted by a security automech, he'll try to bluff past it by claiming to be from the Board. The mech will be so unimpressed by his "mediocre verbal evasion" that it will decide your party can't possibly be a threat and power down its weapons.
    • If you have SAM along, he'll invoke an "emergency cleaning" protocol. After the other automech checks its internal calendar and sees that it has been ten years since the last clean, stands down immediately.
  • Ellie wants you to be on your worst behaviour when meeting her parents. Either way works you can irritate her by ignoring her instructions, or spit on the floor and make comments about stealing furniture.
  • Legally, Ellie is dead and her parents are collecting the insurance payouts. You want to contest these claims to an insurance agent, since Ellie's been palling around with you, but she doesn't buy it.
    Insurance Agent: By all accounts, she was an elegant and classy woman with impossibly fine bone structure. That couldn't possibly be you.
  • The story Ellie's parents came up with for the scam to work is beautiful in itself. How did Ellie 'die'? She bought a pair of twelve-inch tall heels from the boutique and fell over, breaking her neck, it was the talk of Byzantium for weeks! Ellie is mortified when she finds out.
  • This exchange:
    Sophia Akande: Reports of you have been exceptionally thorough. You've had quite the career.
    The Unplanned Variable: You mean stumbling around the colony pretending to know what I'm doing?

    Emerald Vale 
  • The very first person you meet face to face is an injured guard holed up in a cave. He refuses to let you heal him because he's not allowed to use products other than the ones used by Spacer's Choice.
  • The Spacer's Choice guards are facing a threat much worse than marauders: parking violators.
  • The fact you're supposed to pay rent on your gravesite is corporate satire at its finest. It's even funnier in the fact that everyone cheerfully goes along with it, just because they're that mindlessly loyal to Spacer's Choice.
  • You can have a bit of a Heroic BSoD where you finally break down and yell at Reed for the sheer idiocy that caused the Plague.
  • Picking any of the [Dumb] dialogue options with Vicar Max.
    Vicar Max: Ms. Holcomb has a soft heart. Always has, if you believe the talk.
    The Unplanned Variable: Can Parvati get that treated by a sawbones?
    Vicar Max: I see today we'll be conversing without metaphors.
  • If you bring Parvati into the General Store, she mentions that she isn't allowed in there, "Not since the vending machine incident." This sounds like a classic Noodle Incident, but you can ask her about it.
    Parvati: There was a- a kind of a Thing with the vending machine. When I was twelve.
    [player is prompted for a response]
    Parvati: I've always been good with my hands, right? So I saw a lock on the machine and thought, "oh, this must be how they refill it." But I had to know. So I did my thing. Next thing I know, there's a couple hundred bottles of Zero Gee rolling out the front door and into the road.
    [player is prompted for a response]
    Parvati: Right about then, a bunch of loaders came rolling in the gate, fresh off the saltuna ships. And Mr. Tobson was up on the porch making a speech about how everyone would have to volunteer a third shift to get it all canned. Anyhow, you ever seen an auto-loader run over a bottle of Zero-Gee?
    The Unplanned Variable: Go on.
    Parvati: BOOSH. Exploded all over Mr. Tobson. One bottle after another as the loaders went by. I was just shy of working age, so dad had to pay all the damages. Moreau's still angry at me. I can laugh about it now, but I just about puked up my guts in terror at the moment. That's the one time I ever made Mr. Tobson look a fool.
    • When you finally enter the store, Parvati can be heard petulantly grumbling "I hate you, vending machine..."
    • Naturally, since this is a Spacer's Choice settlement, the company still hasn't sent in the new parts for the machine, so it still isn't working after all these years.
    The Unplanned Variable: The vending machine thing? That was ages ago.
    Julius Moreau: I realize that. Company still has not sent us the necessary parts to conduct repairs. And so, no thanks to Ms. Holcomb, yonder vending machine remains inoperable.

    The Groundbreaker 
  • Your ship is grounded on the grounds that you've "inherited" it and the only way you can un-ground it is to chat with the Board ambassador. You'd naturally want to bypass that so you could get on your merry way. You can try to convince the guard, but he won't budge. If you try to pretend you're a kidnapped stowaway searching for help, he will entertain your ludicrous story until you drop it.
  • Gladys sells two caps, model A and model B. Both are identical except one is a Palette Swap for the other. The model A's description is "this is style A." Meanwhile, model B's description is "this is not style A. That's the other one."
  • Gladys puts on a very cheerful and friendly demeanor at almost all times, even while conspiring with the player to perform illegal espionage and provide her with the evidence. If you give away the "diet toothpaste" formula before returning to her, the Unplanned Variable will tell her about it but then say that they "lost it". Gladys will cheerfully respond "Good for you, dear!" and then just sit there and wait for you to actually give her something worth her while.
    • Gladys acts so much like a stereotypical grandmother, telling you about the batch of cookies she just baked, the latest episode of her favorite aetherwave serial, or a cute knick-knack she bought, and gives you candy on your way out of her office, it's easy to forget that she's one of the most powerful players in Halcyon's black market.
  • You can get into the evidence locker of the local Mardet (Marines) group by asking nicely.
  • A Spacer's Choice vendor is forced to wear their company mascot costume and speak in nothing but corporate slogans. You can ask him a series of uncomfortable questions (like how does he eat, does he sleep in it, and where you can get a hat like that). By the way he answers, it's entirely possible he does have to live in it.
  • One of the public terminals has a hidden message which supposedly doesn't exist. But you can keep prodding it will eventuall say "STOP LOOKING OR ELSE."
  • When Lilya Hagen tells you she believes there's a conspiracy involving aliens, these are your responses.
    <Say nothing.>
    The Unplanned Variable: The truth about the human tailbone?
    • The revelation of Hagen's insanity is perfectly executed. Throughout the Sublight questline, you've been salvaging in various abandoned laboratories and Hagen has kept warning you to make sure you are not followed. At first it seems like she's just being Properly Paranoid (what you're doing is questionably legal), but then you reach the final quest and she, out of absolutely nowhere, declares that the only logical explanation for what you have seen is that the Board has been infiltrated by aliens that are trying to turn humanity into alien hybrids and that she needs your help to save mankind!
    • If you side against her in the final Sublight quest (i.e., you refuse to kill some hapless scientist because a crazy lady said she was an alien), Hagen gets really pissed, fires you from Sublight, and sends you a letter of referral to assist in finding a new job if you had previously requested one. Then in the epilogue, you are informed that Hagen went on to restructure Sublight to focus exclusively on her crusade to defeat the alien scourge... and was promptly killed in a "tragic industrial accident", presumably by her own company for being a complete maniac.
  • Greasy, the automechanical that runs Auntie Cleo's shop aboard the ship, accidentally killed its mechanic when said mechanic did not Read the Freaking Manual and tried repairing Greasy without powering it down first. The entire exchange when talking with Greasy about this is hilarious, as it refuses to clean up the body (it's not programmed to), and one of the dialogue options is about how hungry the talk is making you.
    • If you imply that Greasy is a glorified vending machine, it responds that it's engaging its shock protocol, followed by a flat "HOW. DARE. YOU."
  • If you lockpick a door in Waste Disposal, you can find an engineer who'd been locked for days in the same room as an overflowing toilet he'd been sent to repair.
  • In the Peril on Gorgon DLC, you're tasked with tracking down someone in the Groundbreaker's auxiliary bay. You're stopped by a group of thugs, who technically are legally allowed to turn you away (and are doing so with Junlei's blessing.) That is...unless you've brought Parvati along and completed her sidequest.
    The Unplanned Variable: I don't think she'd take too kindly to you hurting her girlfriend.
    Guard: Huh?
    Parvati: Hi! I'm the girlfriend!

  • Roseway has the usual "monsters being experimented on have escaped and killed everyone" plotline. What nefarious product is Auntie Cleo's using raptidons for? Toothpaste.
    The Unplanned Variable: Wait, this is all about toothpaste?
    Anton Crane: One cannot exaggerate the benefits of good dental hygiene. May I continue?
    The Unplanned Variable: Only if you'd like me to punch you in the throat. Can we just cut to the chase here?
    Anton Crane: Very well. We'd formulated the world's most effective appetite suppressant toothpaste.
    The Unplanned Variable: You can couch it however you like, it's still just toothpaste. Uh, diet toothpaste.
    Anton Crane: Not just any diet toothpaste — the ultimate diet toothpaste.
  • One terminal praises Anton for his work on the toothpaste, but notes it still has a few minor problems, like a bad flavor and causing temporary blindness. The flavor is the bigger problem.
  • To get Anton's research, you need to enter one of Auntie Cleo's secret labs. The one with the literal neon sign telling you it's a secret lab.
  • You can find an email chain requesting a change of the code on an armory door to something complicated. The response is an obtuse list of references, ranging from someone's birthday month to the number of incidents with a certain piece of machinery... that works out to 1234. This gets approved.

  • One of the researchers believes the Gloop Gun is a stupid name for a weapon, and her incensed colleague has several alternatives for it.
      • On a different terminal in the same building, you can read research logs detailing their progress with the Gloop Gun. One of the logs is a single line about how somebody filled their underwear drawer with gloop, and that they "have theories" about who did it.
  • You can make your displeasure known to Sanjar when he tries to talk you into trying another variation of saltuna.
    • Better still, Sanjar applauds you for your honesty and tells you to harness those feelings for the greater good.
    • The layers to this single joke are tremendous. Later in your exploration of Monarch, you get to find out what Monarch puts in their saltuna unlike Edgewater (their competitors in saltuna manufacture). The secret ingredient? Fish!
  • Nelson Mayson is a smarmy, annoying jackass of a drug dealer working for Sublight Salvaging with an annoying habit of saying "Wink" when insinuating something. Naturally, with The Outer Worlds being the sort of game it is, the game gives you multiple opportunities to punch him. Even better, you actually gain reputation with Sublight for punching him. Not even his own faction can stand the guy.
  • The insurance company in Fallbrook informs you that you can get your eyebrows insured. You can ask why and the reasons actually make sense within the game's context. You can also insure disastrous marriages.
  • Hacking into the insurance records in general leads to this.
    • A guy was claiming insurance for falsely accusing a company, but his request was denied for not saying the magic word.
    • A lady lost a finger on her left hand, but was denied because she was right handed. Her follow up claims become increasingly unintelligible as she loses more fingers. The final message is from someone else in her company who claims her life insurance, claiming she died because she continued to use the finger-chopping machine despite signage warning of the danger. It got approved immediately.
  • There's a sidequest in Stellar Bay where concerned mother Agnes Needham sends you after her son Tucker, who's run off to join the Iconoclasts in Amber Heights. When you get there, you find "little Tuck-Tuck" is a middle-aged man who left specifically to get away from his overbearing mom.
  • Interacting with Huxley brings up a lot of hilarious moments.
    • You first meet her locked inside a room, somehow. If you ask about how to get the key to open it, she mentions her friend had it. Or rather, did have it, he probably is dead.
    So look for a dead guy, I guess.
    • Alternatively, you can convince her to try opening the door, which actually works as she wasn't properly trying to open it. The best part? You can convince her to try with only a 35 Engineering, which is incredibly low of a check for when you may arrive at the location.
      • Even better, if you're able to choose the Dumb dialogue, you can tell her a "Knock Knock" Joke. Even better, Felix will steal the punchline if present.
    • You can find a terminal back in the Iconoclasts base that was used by her as a journal of sorts. Someone smashed it though because it started making a noise forcing her to stop using it. Her last log is her typing "SUCK SULFUR" at whoever did so.
  • There's a terminal in Rizzo's that you could unlock. If you don't have the password, you're given the option to button mash.
    Password "g[dh09gffiobsiz" not recognized. Please try again.
  • In a Rizzo's factory, one of the robots will ask you for identification at the risk of being "downsized."
  • After you have a good enough reputation (or have murdered) the two factions, Hiram informs you that all you need to do now is flip a switch. Given the convoluted nature of questing, the Player Character is very skeptical that it's all they need to do.
  • Just after the UDL Gunship crashes, you're treated to some hilarious banter between Hiram, Sanjar, and Graham. Given that you had just gotten MSI and the Iconoclasts to stop broadcasting, them doing it anyway (much to Hiram's chagrin) is bound to elicit some chuckles. Even the Unplanned Variable can share the same annoyance as Hiram here!
    • Hiram, having had enough of the MSI's and the Iconoclasts' shit, signs off with this gem:
      Hiram: Which means - get off. My void-damned channel! I am finished with you lot.
  • The mayday message from the crashed UDL gunship, delivered with a perfectly tranquil rage:
    Jen: Hello. My name's Jen. I'm the chief engineer on this gunship and I'd like to let the record show that our captain is a total fucking hullhead. I told him - again and again - that without fixing our regulators, spinning up the engines are going to blow through our coils and we'll go flying off in a completely random direction. Well. Here we are. Thinking we'll hit soil in, uh, about thirty seconds. This is your chief engineer signing off for what is probably the last time. It's a shame you can't see this middle finger I'm holding up, because I'm doing it as hard as I can.
    • Relating to the above, you can run the ship's diagnostics to be treated to this gem:
      Main Terminal: Online
      Bridge Controls: Offline
      Engines: Technically Functional
      Hull Integrity: Don't Ask
      This MkIV Gunship's operational parameters have exceeded acceptable damage ranges. The cost of any repairs necessary at your nearest UDL repair facility will be averaged amongst the crew.

  • Meeting up with your contact on the port, she assigns you the code name "Cuckoo." Hers is "Golden Eagle" and you can bicker about exchanging code names.
  • A guy plucks you off the streets, telling you that you have what it takes to be a star. You might think this is some sort of trap, since the actors are using real weapons for authenticity, but nothing ever comes out of it. When the quest is over, all that happens is that your acting career will never take off.
    • During the audition itself, it's a terrible script all around. Intelligence, Science, and Engineering checks can have you point out the ridiculousness of it, or ham it up and hope for the best. The former has the Director visibly disappointed in your performance, while the latter has him claim he'll be firing the writing staff because your improvisation was just that awesome.
    • A Dumb character will stumble their way through the script, mistakenly thinking the actor playing their arch-nemesis is someone they've actually met before. Eventually, your co-star will decide that the only way to avoid being upstaged by your masterful improv skills is to go "safeties off" and open fire on you. What's more, if you survive the shootout, the Director loves it.
  • The Corporate Sentinel guarding the Minister's house threatens you.
    This ultimatum brought to you by Universal Defense Logistics.
  • If you pass by a certain lady, she'll start talking shit about how uncouth you are. She explains her hatred of vagrants is because they didn't earn their way into Byzantium. She earned her position by inheriting her grandfather's assets.
  • You need to find a way to enter the Minister's house and one of your leads tells you that one of his guards is celebrating his new employment by drinking. Naturally, you give him enough so he passes out and you can swipe the key, right? You follow him in the next room and he dies of alcohol poisoning.
  • When meeting Minister Clarke he thinks you're one of Chairman Rockwell's goons, which he has a very low opinion of, trying to get him to do another promotional video.
    Minister Clarke: If this is about another aetherwave clip or radio spot, you may kindly "fuck off", as the parlance goes. I'm not doing any more.
    Unplanned Variable: What are you talking about?
    Minister Clarke: [to himself] Slowly and loudly, Aloysius. That's the only way these morons understand anything. [to the player] I SAID, YOU MAY TELL CHARLES TO GO FUCK HIMSELF.
    • You can get him back for it: "SPEAK MORE SLOWLY. AND INTO MY GOOD EAR." Hilariously, he's overjoyed to meet someone smart enough for sarcasm for the first time in years.
    • Once he realized that you aren't working for Rockwell and are real dissidents, he is overjoyed to have someone to talk to. Then when you ask about the dimethyl sulfoxide...
      Minister Clarke: [to himself] Drugs, of course. What else? Why did I get my hopes up? back to idiot-speak. [to the player] I DON"T HAVE ANY DRUGS. YOU SHOULD TRY A VENDING MACHINE OR A PURVEYOR OF CURATIVE GOODS. WILL THAT BE ALL, THEN?
  • The Halycon Parcel Service doesn't ship packages. They ship parcels, which are entirely different things according to the Executive Ministry of Accuracy and Morale. Employees can ship parcels all they want, but they'd get in trouble for shipping packages.
    • Olivia Yates would like to help you find your package, but her backlog of requests extends more than thirty-five years and she could perhaps get her successor to do it for you. Er, is that a laser rifle? It's right over there.
    • Earlier on, your contact tells you that she realized Byzantium was corrupt and inefficient because they did nothing to fix the complaint box. Olivia later informs you that you can lodge a complaint, only to remember that it's still broken.
  • There's a worker that requested a refund on his shock cannon because it misfires if the electrical cell it's using is covered in blood. He also hopes for a quick response because that's his blood on the cell after he got shot by an automechanical, and he apparently dedicated his final moments to typing and sending the refund request.
  • You can bribe the guard to help you get into the Chairman's tower. You can sheepishly admit you don't have that much on you and she tells you it's an honest mistake and encourages you to come back next time.
    Unplanned Variable: I'm back with money. Want to try this bribery thing again?
  • The rough cut of Chairman Rockwell's announcement of the Lifetime Employment Program has Rockwell desperately trying to put a positive spin on some extremely dark subject matter:
    Chairman Rockwell: Everyone will die. [cut] Everyone will slowly stop living. From malnutrition. But we're doing it together, and that's what matters. [to the stage crew] I fucking swear, if someone doesn't get me something to read that will placate the masses soon, all of you will find yourselves violently unemployed!
    • The video even includes Hilarious Outtakes:
      Rockwell: Individuals will be revived on a rotating basis so that every Halcyonite can be a part of the important work of saving our colony! ...By testing paperweights. [laughs] Sorry, couldn't resist- let's- let's go again.
  • One method of accessing the lab is to seduce one of the scientists with talk of science, prompting her to call in a favor with a guard so you can enjoy some "private time" in the lab once she gets a moment.
    • If you get caught by one of the guards while down there, you can tell them that she can vouch for you. Turns out, she was holding a Noodle Incident over the gate guard for a long while, and it's far from the first time she's made such arrangements.

    The Hope 
  • The maintenance log notes that the macrowave short-circuited after SOME IDIOT left his fork on his plate. It lists down other problems until the macrowave has stopped working entirely.
  • A bit of Black Comedy among depressing Apocalyptic Logs is the custodian still doing his job, complaining about how the Civil War between the crew is making his job harder and expecting a promotion for all the extra trouble. He mentions that one upside to starving to death is that the toilets are far easier to clean.
    • He eventually gets fed up with having to clean up the messes, and opts to just freeze himself until it's all over with, telling anyone who reads the log that they can enjoy cleaning up their own mess instead.

  • In this maximum security prison, a poor soul was sent to solitary confinement as a result of random selection.
  • The game gives you one last [Dumb] option during the ending, which lets you leave Welles to get on with saving the colony, while you wander off to get some ice cream.
    Narrator: You brought an end to the chaos on Tartarus and left Doctor Welles to save Halcyon on his own. You had more pressing matters to attend to. As you tasted your first scoop of Rizzo's Partially Emulsified Semi-Frozen Milk-like Dessert, you realize something: All your troubles, all your adventures, all your struggles and choices... they had all led to this single moment. And it was all worth it.
    • According to this interview, the whole thing was originally intended for New Vegas, where a low intelligence Courier's story revolves around finding ice cream, which sadly never came to fruition.
  • Should the protagonist max out their reputations with certain factions, then those parties will send reinforcements to help them regardless of whether they're aligned with Phineas or the Board. They do this of their own accord without notifying the player, however, and they're about as effective in battle and prone to getting killed without the Unplanned Variable's assistance as any other AI-controlled NPC ally who isn't an outright Companion. This is all well and good if the player feels like Storming the Castle in a blaze of gunfire and close-quarters combat. Should the player prefer the stealthy approach, their allies will attack Tartarus anyway, potentially providing a timely distraction. Which is still quite alright. However, if the Unplanned Variable is invading Tartarus in a holographic disguise, then they can easily stroll through the entire final level without firing a shot, making the earnest assistance (and potential sacrifices) of the friends they made along the way (who as mentioned before, will attack either the Board or the rioting prisoners regardless of player input) completely pointless.
  • If the player sides with the Board, but chooses to infiltrate Tartarus using stealth rather than force, they can stumble across two sibling inmates. One of them wants to defile the corpse of the recently slain Chairman Rockwell while the other wants to escape the prison while everyone else is fighting in the riot so they can return home to their mother. Naturally, the Unplanned Variable can kill them both off.
  • A potential final boss is the RAM, a heavily armored mechanical warden that is flanked by a swarm of combat drones. These drones can be hacked on a nearby terminal if the Unplanned Variable is skilled enough to do so, and there's a window in that room that allows them to watch as these drones turn on the boss, potentially robbing of it of as much as a quarter of its overall health.
    • An Unplanned Variable with a maxed out hack skill can deactivate it entirely. Bonus point for the bot just comically tipping over backwards instead of blowing up spectacularly or something.
  • One way you can get a prison guard disguise cartridge is by lying to the docking bay guard that you're the Chairman's eyebrow stylist, and the guard is relieved that you've shown up.

  • If you sided with the Board as a dumb character, the justification for doing so is In-Universe product placement.
    After you rescued her in Tartarus, Sophia Akande offered you any reward you could imagine. Power. Wealth. Influence. However, you were more interested in the simple pleasures in life — like the smooth, artificially enhanced flavor of a Rizzo’s Purpleberry Munch. Rizzo’s Purpleberry Munch — the only snack in Halcyon officially endorsed by the Captain of the Unreliable.
  • If the Board collapses, the residents of Byzantium find themselves getting knocked down a rung on the social ladder. Some even had to get jobs.
    It was a dark time, indeed.

  • You begin the quest by receiving a strange package. It's a device with an arm still attached to it. And you've placed it on the dining room table for everyone to see.
    ADA: (monotone) How distasteful. Humans eat there.
  • When the player first lands at Ambrose Manor to follow a lead early in the story they are greeted with a robot butler who immediately walks off the landing pad after introducing itself. Felix thinks this is hilarious while Parvati reprimands him for being insensitive and wondering if the poor thing got hurt on the way down. Afterwards it can be found turned over at the base of the landing pad where it will remain for the rest of the DLC.
    Drinks the Butler: Please follow. Do not stray from the path.
    <falls off the landing pad>
    Vicar Max: If ever there were an argument against an all-encompassing universal Plan, that would be it.
  • The butler even has unique "hostile" dialogue if you side with Olivia or are going for the Golden Ending and storm the manor during the end of the Gorgon questline.
    Drinks the Butler: Error. This unit cannot engage. Please self-terminate.
  • Parvati's response when Minnie offers you a job.
    You offer work to everyone that breaks into your home?
  • The bouncer asks you to stare into your eyes to ensure you're not insane.
    The Unplanned Variable: <Keep Looking> You have pretty eyes.
  • You're supposed to judge between two salvagers who believe they should own a pile of scrap. You ask them how they indicated that the scrap was claimed. The first says he just yelled "Finder's Keepers" really loudly. The second person says she drew an X on the ground with her big toe. You have the option to rule in favour of neither, on the grounds that "neither of these idiots know how to mark salvage".
    • Talking to Lex once the dispute is resolved reveals that the two salvagers are actually a romantic couple.
  • A conversation with Lex.
    The Unplanned Variable: Can you answer any question without starting with yes and no?
    Lex: Yes and no.
  • Lex doesn't own the bar. Legally, a sprat does. That way, if the bar gets into any legal trouble, the sprat takes the fall.
    • How could you tell the which Sprat owns the bar? Easy. His name is Matt.
      • If you've visited the spratwurst shop on the Groundbreaker, you can ask Lex if there's a plan in case Matt gets ground up into spratwurst.
        Lex: Shit, I didn't think of that. Someone could've eaten my boss!
    • Ellie isn't fazed by this at all. Neither is a pre-Scylla Max.
      Ellie: You know, they do something similar in Byzantium. Fancier system, but same idea.
      Max: Most businesses in Halcyon are run by sprats, but this is the first I've seen one openly acknowledge it.
    • When visiting Groundbreaker's Auxillary Docking Bay, you can actually find Matt Sprat living in a run-down bathroom.
  • In the bar on Gorgon itself, you can overhear two bar patrons talking about how one of them broke up with her boyfriend. Turns out, he wouldn't take his hat off during sex. His Spacer's Choice Mr Moon hat.
  • Roscoe asks if you're willing to help an old bastard like him.
    The Unplanned Variable: Helping out old bastards is eighty percent of my job.
  • Clarence Mostly wants the trophy for his canid, but doesn't enter his in the contest because he already knows his canid is the best. Thus, he asks you to steal it for him.
    The Unplanned Variable: That must be the most Byzantium thing I've ever heard.
    Clarence Mostly: Oh, you're much too kind.
    • Even better is that the outcomes are already pre-determined but bureaucracy means that it takes several weeks for the prize to be delivered, giving you ample time to steal it.
    • One of the Intimidate options while speaking to him is hilariously straightforward.
      "I'm really heavily armed."
  • PAM has pre-recorded words of encouragement for employees, most of which are digs at companies using friendly language to masquerade hostile work environments.
    PAM: Remember: Spacer's Choice is a family, so overtime is family time!
    PAM: Don't forget to add an exclamation point and a smiley face to your company messages. That's how we know you're having fun!
    PAM: Spacer's Choice likes to maintain a positive work environment, so if you have to cry, please do so in the supply closet.
    • You could activate PAM's combat mode if you can convince her you're a manager. You do this by using corporate speak to convince an employee to work over time.
  • One of the enemies charges at you while wearing a Spacer's Choice Mr. Moon Hat.
  • One vendor you can encounter is called Probably Carl. Probably Carl believes that the Moon Man is watching him. If you speaking to him whilst wearing the Spacer's Choice Mr. Moon Hat, he will scream in terror.
    Probably Carl: "AAAAAAAH! Get away! Away, you milky, white monstrosity!"
  • After a tense conversation with Minnie and her mother, you can sign off with finger guns.
  • All companions comment on the unsettling Spacer's Choice Moon Man fountain with the rotating head in the Synthesis and Manufactory Center lobby, but Nyoka gets a Brick Joke about it. Upon seeing it, she says that she knows it's going to haunt her, and then later, on the elevator ride on the way out of the building, she makes a startled noise and explains that she thought about the creepy fountain again.

  • A Dumb Unplanned Variable can accuse themselves of murdering Halcyon Helen. Each crew member gets a turn to express just how exasperated they are with their captain, and Administrator Ludovico rapidly loses his composure and patience while grilling them on how they could have possibly arrived at that conclusion. Then he accidentally reveals how the murder was committed.
    • After completing the main questline and returning to ADA, she asks who the culprit was. The Unplanned Variable can once again pin the crime on themselves, and ADA responds that trying to follow their logic fried her circuits.
  • If you ask ADA why she thinks you got offered the job, she gives you a list of probable reasons. The most likely is that they were desperate, the sixth and least probable reason is because they are confident in your abilities.
  • When asking Sedrick Kincannon about his alibi, he plainly answers that he couldn't have killed Helen... because he was busy committing a different, completely unrelated (far more brutal) murder.
  • While investigating the hotel kitchen, the cook complains that they're out of food. If you keep trying to order something, he'll eventually give you a bottle of ketchup just to make you leave him alone.
    • The discrepancy amplifier helpfully alerts you to a stove burner that's so coated in old grease that it'll probably explode if someone turns it on. One of the options is, of course, to turn it on. (The burner doesn't work.)
  • Scanning the body of someone violently killed, you are informed this person is dead. One of your responses is "What would I do without you, Discrepancy Amplifier?"
  • You can taste some of the evidence the discrepancy amplifier turns up, and your companions and other characters react with a mix of confusion and horror. Turned into a Brick Joke if you take Felix with you to investigate Sedrick and the wiretap in his office, which is connected to a receiver in a public bathroom stall.
    Felix: Boss, please don't taste the dirt this time!
  • While investigating Bertie Holcomb, you can ask one of your companions to play Good Cop/Bad Cop with you to intimidate him into cooperating. All of them are good.
  • Asking a post-Scylla Max to intimidate the tossball mascot who broke into the penthouse is gold.
    Max: You, uh, should watch yourself, or we'll force you to... consider how your whole existence is based on a lie perpetrated by the corporations. Or... um, shoot you?
  • The Grand Colonial's sign is partially burned out, showing the luxury hotel's name as the "Grand Colon."
  • When greeting the murderer at the final part of the questline, they make comments indicating that they're going to launch into a grand Motive Rant. The Unplanned Variable can have none of that.
    Unplanned Variable: *raise hand* Let me stop your monologue right now. I don't care.
    • And you can follow it up by predicting the exact shape the final boss fight will take, and the murderer will just get frustrated at the Unplanned Variable's attitude, saying "You just couldn't let me have my moment, could you?"