Funny / The Nostalgia Critic 2022 Episodes

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• The episode opens up with the cast making bets over which M. Night Shyamalan movies would turn out good and which would turn out bad. The highlight being the dice roll for Glass - one landing on "Good" and the other on "Bad", prompting the remark "you'd think Split would've rolled like that."
• Critic’s reaction to simply finding out that there’s a rapper named Mid Size Sedan. We get a quick shot of him laughing so hard that he’s fallen over.
  • The joke doesn’t stop there as Critic nicknames him over the course of the video. (i.e. Honda Civic, Ford Mustang, Toyota Prius, Mercedes Benz)
  • The final line after Mid Size Sedan is killed: "He's been impounded!"
• Critic's reaction to the part where Trent got Kara pregnant:
  Critic: Why do I have the urge to high-five and flee at the same time?
• The Black Comedy of Critic having a giggling fit over Crystal's calcium deficiency breaking her bones in such a ridiculous fashion that he compares it to Tetris.
• Critic (VO, as one of the characters): "Hmm, why do I suddenly think Tucker Carlson is right about everything?"

Rango

• Upon seeing an armadillo being run over and having his innards exposed:
  Critic: OK, 2011 PG, very different from 2022 PG and I approve.
• The Critic pointing out how absurd and underwhelming the AntiClimax is when Beans spits out the bullet which somehow cracks the glass and snake takes the mayor away.

Pan

• As Blackbeard tries to throw Peter off the ship's plank to execute him, the Critic reminds viewers that this film got a PG rating for "action, language and yeeting children to their goddamn graves!"
  • Then, as Peter gets thrown off and falls to his apparent doom, the Critic pauses the movie to look at the weather app on the phone, where the forecast in Neverland calls for a "40% chance of raining kids praying to God".
    "Ah, how about that? The forecast was actually right for a change."

Tarzan

• The Critic criticizes Phil Collins' songs for telling how characters feel instead of letting them express it themselves.
  Critic: Every time Phil Collins sings, I want everyone to look around shouting, "What the hell is that?"
  • He plays "Son of Man" over a scene where Clayton, Jane, and Porter are looking around the jungle in confusion. Clayton shoots into the sky, causing Phil Collins to fall.
• When Clayton's infamous death by hanging on a vine is shown:
  Critic: Good...damn! This is how you G, 2022! This is how you G!
• At the end:
  Critic: Uh...Phil Collins, tell us what to think! ("Two Worlds" ending reprise begins playing)

National Treasure

• Critic is exasperated when Nicholas Cage's character randomly asks "Are you hungry?"
• When Benjamin tries to smear lemons on the Declaration of Independence, or in Critic's words, treat the Declaration of Independence like an appetizer at Olive Garden.

Return to Oz

• After the scary screaming heads scene:
  Critic: Parents may need to put on Critters in order to calm them down!

Batman Begins

• Critic, like most people, mocking Christian Bale's Batman voice.

The Dark Knight

• The Joker's video threat scared Caine so much he forgot his lines.
  Critic: Lines, schmines! I'm forgetting I have bladder control right now!

The Dark Knight Rises

• The scene where every cop in the city heads to the same location is so ridiculous that Critic finds it funny.
  Critic: No, I swear, there was a scene cut from the movie where she says, "Are you high?"

Batman (1989)

• The credits playing after Batman is shot.
• "I actually have a (shows image of Cesar Romero Joker) theory that each actor (shows image of Jack Nicholson Joker) takes something (shows image of Mark Hamill Joker) from the previous Joker that (shows image of Heath Ledger Joker) results in a positive (shows image of Jared Leto Joker) GET OUTTA HERE!!! (shows image of Joaquin Phoenix Joker) but also somehow unique performance."
• "Mimes don't talk!"

Mask of the Phantasm

• The sub-plot of the review has Critic and crew getting harassed by the Phantasm of the Studio. Who is definitely not Tamara. It's Malcolm.
• The Big "NO!" running gag.
• Batman, despite having a reputation for stealth, is visible right outside a window illuminated by a light in one scene:
  Critic: (as Batman) TALK LOUDER! No don't look at me, just TALK LOUDER!
• When Bruce and Andrea are implied to have slept together:
  Critic: So after they bat-banged...yeah again, wearing that PG rating like a badge of honor...

Hancock

• As the review was already recorded when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars, we're treated to a brief note whenever a missed opportunity for a related joke pops up. There are a lot of missed opportunities. A lot.

Bobbleheads: The Movie

• At one point, Kelani accidentally turns on a hair dryer, which blows her back against a wall to a cartoonish plop sound. As she clutches at her head to stop it bobbing around, a "wa-wa" sound plays in the background. The Critic reacts thus:
  "Ooh, a plop sound effect and "wa-wa" music. If it was the '20s, this'd win an Oscar!"
• Noting that the baseball player bobblehead Deuce is voiced by Khary Payton, the Critic thinks that Payton should fire his agent for his going from Cyborg to King Ezekiel to Deuce.
• Critic is disturbed when Binky uses Purrbles to scrub herself in the bath.

Pinocchio: A True Story

• A sketch parodies the film's terrible dubbing with a studio called "Dubster Fire," which makes deliberately bad Gag Dubs with celebrities from the 1990s to capitalize off Bile Fascination. Their tagline is, "We specialize in 'Huh?'"
  • Kel Mitchell dubs over Daffy Duck, including a joke about Elmer Fudd being racist (which worked in Good Burger but would not work today) and assuming Daffy's a pastor due to his collar. Then the executives are shocked to learn that Kel Mitchell is actually a pastor himself.
  Executive: Daffy's not a pastor and neither are you.
  Other Executive (looking at phone): Actually, he is.
  Executive: Ducks can't be ordained.
  Other Executive: No, Kel Mitchell, Kel Mitchell is a licensed pastor ([-(shows image of a paragraph confirming it)-]).
  Kel: Welcome to the Good Word, home of Jesus! Can I get an Aaaa-men?
  Executive: We're gonna need forgiveness after this.
  • Janeane Garofalo, cigarette in her mouth, voices Minnie Mouse. She cusses out Mickey for not supporting her at a "Free the Nipple" protest and is confused as to why Minnie doesn't have breasts. She ends up quitting and is subsequently gets replaced by Aunt Despair.
  • Jeff Goldblum doing Popeye's voice, speaking to Bluto in a very flat monotone about how it's not a good idea to fight over a woman named after a healthy (extra virgin) Mediterranean fad.
  Executive: None of those match his lip movements.
  Other Executive: ...But that's Popeye anyway.
• Critic mocks how the title character keeps going from one vague accent to another.

The Rugrats Movie

• The Critic trolls the audience by talking about how the episode comes out on May 4th, Star Wars day... so of course, he's going to review The Rugrats Movie while treating it like a Star Wars property, interspersing various George Lucas references throughout, such as claiming there was a deleted scene involving Darth Vader to explain why the babies can't change their own diapers or comparing the Toilet Humor to Jar Jar Binks. He ends the review with a "Live long and prosper" and a sound byte from Lord of the Rings to cap it all off.
• He refers to Angelica as "the only baby everyone's okay calling a bitch."
• After Angelica lies to Tommy that Spike used to be a human child before Tommy was born:
  Critic, showing an image of the Nina-Chimera: Shit, why couldn't we see this fantasy instead of the Indiana Jones one?
• In response to Lou's remark, "We got a Pickle to deliver!", Critic says, "A line I'm surprised wasn't also used in the porn parody." He interrupts himself twice to note that yes, the porn parody is real, and yes, The Cinema Snob did review it.
• The Critic notes that Ranger Margaret and Ranger Frank were respectively played by Whoopi Goldberg and David Spade. He then says that he imagined a different animated mashup between the two actors. The image he shows is of Shenzi about to eat Kuzco in his llama form.
• Critic assumes Dil is a photographer who took the Group Picture Ending.

Spider-Man: No Way Home

• When Norman uses a rock to smash the Goblin mask (which Critic hated) into pieces, Critic applauds as an audience cheers.

The Brave Little Toaster

• Before beginning the review, the Critic states that while he remembers liking the movie, he doesn't remember any dark moments in it.
  Critic: Aside from this scene.
  [cuts back to the movie, showing the Evil Firefighter Clown leaning down at Toaster in the dream sequence...]
  Evil Clown: Run.
  Critic: And maybe this moment...
  [cuts to the scene where Toaster and his friends scare Elmo St. Peters, who screams in terror while Kirby laughs wickedly at off-screen...]
  Critic: And...
  [cuts to the scene where The Air Conditioner explodes...]'
  Critic: And...
  [cuts to the scene where the Master (Rob) screams at the crusher before Toaster almost saves him...]
  Critic: Maybe this was more intense than I remember.
• When the blender is dissected, and when Toaster throws himself into the gears:
  Critic: If any part of this thing was human this would be a hard R!
• During the scene where Toaster and his friends scare Elmo St. Peters, who screams in terror.
  Critic: [as General Disarray as well as a shot of an image of Professor Chaos and General Disarray in South Park in the center] Toy Story [shot of another image of Toy Story where Spider Babyface freaks Sid Phillips out] will do it!
• The Critic states that he loves how Elmo's customer saw all of the appliances come to life and break through the wall, but has absolutely no reaction to it.
  Zeke the Customer: Just wondering if you got my radio tubes.
  Critic: [as Zeke the Customer] Also, [as a shot of the broken appliances escaped from it in the corner] hail Satan, I guess.

Legend of the Guardians

• During the scene when the protagonist has been captured by the Pure Ones, the Critic can't resist making some jokes about other famous pop culture owls.
  Grimble: Some of you will be pickers. Some will be soldiers.
  Critic: Some will be PR repair. (an image of the owl from the Tootsie Pop ad is shown) Figure out how to lick this without biting it! (a caption is shown saying, "Only two more owl jokes, I swear")
• Critic is exasperated that the movie's songs are performed by a band chosen solely for its name: Owl City.
• Critic's description of the moon-blinked Eglantine.
  "Like, she looks baked as a pie here. She dropped some purple haze and is watching The Amazing World of Gumball with that face."

The Fifth Element

• After General Munro says he'd "like to take a few pictures" (of Leeloo), a sound clip of Beavis going "boing" is played.
• Critic describes the bit where the cops crash into a McDonald's trailer as something out of a Disney sitcom, and follows up with a clip from Series/iCarly... a Nickelodeon sitcom.

The Batman

• On Batman's visit to the Riddler in prison, Critic provides a perfect image to represent Batman's panic.
  Edward: Bruce Wayne. Bruce...Wayne.
  Critic: Yeah, he's keeping it together, but in his mind, you know he's thinking...

The Secret of NIMH

• The Running Gag of Philo Barnhart, an assistant animator on the movie and a slew of other Bluth projects, using his knowledge to lure people in so he can eat them.
  Philo: Reminiscing makes me hungry for human flesh.
  • Capping off with the punchline:
    Critic: What happened in my childhood to make me write stuff like this?
    Philo: The same films that I worked on.
    Critic: Fair enough.
• Critic referencing how Mr. Ages was voiced by Toodles. Yes, cranky no-nonsense Mr. Ages was voiced by a guy who also did someone who said "I lost my marbles".
• Critic making a Call-Forward of how Timothy was saved just so he could be the protagonist in an awful sequel ("Timothy to the Rescue", anyone?)
• In regards to Jeremy the Crow, Critic remarks that he's a more tolerable character if one imagines Jeremy is silly because he's high. Cue a montage of Jeremy's sillier moments, as though proving this theory may not be far off.

The Shrek movies

• Critic closes his review of the first movie...only to come back upon remembering that there's three more movies to review.

Brave

• The Critic nicknames the movie "Mother Bear."
• The Critic is perplexed when Merida does a weird song and dance of joy.
• Contrary to the trailers, there are only two short, lame fight scenes in the film. Critic even makes a posterized image of Mor'du roaring at the screaming Merida:
  Critic: Yeah, I don't think people would get excited if the advertising showed what her action scenes were really like.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

• Critic referring to Greg's animated counterpart as "A more cancerous Charlie Brown".
• Critic has a counter for "Awkward boy on toilet scenes" in the movie, accompanied by Baby Plucky saying "Ewwww!" every time he counts one.
• Critic referring to Chirag Gupta as "That kid from Phineas and Ferb" as he shows him alongside an image of Baljeet.
• Critic saying that Rodrick's band name, "Loded Diper", sounds like a sequel to The Boss Baby, and shows a poster for a fictional sequel, The Boss Baby 3: Loaded Diaper.
• Critic referring to Fregley as "The braces girl from Finding Nemo" as he shows him alongside an image of Darla Sherman.
• Critic claims a brunette guy with glasses in Rodrick's band is Scott The Woz.

Kung Fu Panda Movies

• Critic is a little perturbed that Kung Fu Panda 2 came out in 2011, only to be blown away by the Hangover sequel.
  • Critic also brings up several other movies from that year that he says were pretty much the same: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Cars 2, Green Lantern (2011), Sucker Punch, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part I.
• The ad has Doug as a guy who is happily skipping in place. The narrator for said ad continuously insults 'Skippy' before eventually just blowing him up.

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

• The Critic compares the film's cheap animation to a commercial for flights.
• When Critic first mentions Debi Derryberry, he promptly plays a list of all the times behind the scenes where he flubbed her name.
• The Critic pointing out how unconvincing the fake parental notes are. Justified, as every single kid in town receives the EXACT SAME LETTER opening with "Dear son/daughter..."

Anastasia

• Critic cannot even come up with a joke for the Irony of the characters watching a ballet of Cinderella.
• When Dimitri run after Anastasia, but somehow cannot get past a crowd of 2 people:
  Critic: (as Dimitri) Guess I can't get past these 2 people, that stopped me good!

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

• When Sam flubs a line on live television, Critic says she should go into politics.
• When the technophobic dad must email Flint the code to his phone from a computer, which of course he doesn't know how to do:
  Flint: Use the mouse to drag it. (Tim puts the mouse on the screen and tries to move the arrow) Drag it across the desktop. (Tim literally drags the keyboard across the top of the desk, causing stuff to crash onto the floor)
  Critic: Can I belittle your lawn care? That's something people my age are really good at.

Commercials H20

• During the ad for Mario Bros. on the Atari, the Critic becomes confused when he hears Luigi cry out (in song), "Mario, where are you?!", thinking that he's Mario, before realizing that it's actually Luigi and that he played both brothers at the same time then. This leads the Critic to speculate if the infamous Super Mario Bros. movie was right all along and that the brothers' full names really are Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.
  Critic: I mean, if their last names aren't Mario, how would they be brothers?! Nah, it's still too stupid to put in this universe.
• The Indiana Jones Diet Coke commercial:
  • This sequence where the wife has to chose between two cans in a homage to the Grail scene in The Last Crusade.
  Critic: I don't know what the other option was, but Diet Coke is never the right answer.
  Cut to the commercial, a bottomless chasm suddenly appears in the kitchen
  Critic: Case in point, even the place is trying to punish you for what you picked.
  • At the end of the ad, when the wife finally gets her husband a Diet Coke, Critic improvises him saying, "Eh, I wanted a Pepsi."
• The Critic expresses frustration with how the Pizza Head Show ads for Pizza Hut rip off the Mr. Bill sketches from Saturday Night Live, thinking how people his age were more familiar with Pizza Head than with Mr. Bill, until the Critic learns that the ads were in fact done by Mr. Bill's creator, Walter Williams. He illustrates his reaction with a shot of a surprised Donald Duck (taken from Frank Duck Brings 'em Back Alive).
  • The Critic thinks that the Pizza Head ads don't really need a story; just seeing a cute guy get beaten up is really all that's necessary. This leads to a sketch where Pizza Head (voiced by Doug) just gets attacked by Malcolm and Tamara with no storyline at all (which would allow more time to advertise the product). They beat him with a hammer, their fists and their elbows; they dunk him a glass of water; they even spit on him. Finally, laughing sadistically, the pair cut up the pizza and throw it in the microwave, where it explodes in a burst of sauce and cheese. Then, in the midst of all the pandemonium, it abruptly cuts to the ending of a real Pizza Hut ad.
    Announcer (Malcolm): Pizza Hut pizza is part of a complete breakfast.
    (Malcolm and Tamara stare in confusion)
    Tamara: What?
    Announcer: I don't know, I was just so distracted by the hilarious carnage.
    (Malcolm and Tamara nod in satisfaction)
• During the ad for The Clapper, the Critic remarks about how its ability to turn lights on or off just by clapping your hands would make it difficult to have a redneck birthday party. To prove his point, we have a sketch showing a girl (Tamara) blowing out the candles on her birthday cake, after which everyone at the party applauds, which causes the lights to turn on and off so much that the lights flicker and short out in a shower of sparks, with one light exploding in a HUGE fireball!
• The Critic points out how, in the Chicken Limbo commercial, the chicken has such a Jamaican accent that he sounds like Hermes Conrad, who also likes to limbo. A clip of Futurama is shown to prove his point.
  Hermes: In Jamaica, we got ten-story office buildings lower than that!
  • The other part being that in the actual game, when someone ends up hitting what's supposed to be his tail, the laugh he makes would suggest something else.

Hoodwinked

• Critic points out how Wolf falls offscreen to save on animation.
• Critic has a little trouble interpreting a line when Boingo is taken away.
  Boingo: Not prison! Not for a cute little bunny rabbit!
  Critic: The same way he's gonna take whatever happens to him in prison-okay, I'm thinking too hard about it... not in that way! (Doug cracks up.)

Elf

• Critic keeps a "moments that scarred parents because their kids try to reenact it IRL" counter.
• Critic is creeped out by Zooey Deschanel's Creepy Blue Eyes, thinking this was a better horror movie than The Happening.
• When Buddy exposes the "fake" Santa, the kids are horrified but start cheering when they brawl.

A Christmas Carol

• The Critic pointing out how in the previous Disney adaptation, Daisy will date Scrooge's nephew Donald after their breakup.
• Critic is horrified when the Ghost of Christmas Present turns into a skeleton in a Disney movie of all things.

A Garfield Christmas

• The Critic is disturbed by the bizarre squeaky noise when Jon's car drives out.
• Due to poor editing, Garfield speaks in one scene, then in the next scene somehow appears in the crowd.
  Critic: What the hell?! Is Garfield reacting to his own line?
• "We're gonna make fun of Mario's voice in the new movie, and thank God there's no such thing as irony."

Home Sweet Home Alone

• "Yeah okay, let's be real. If a kid had no parents around, the first thing he would do is look up porn."