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Funny / The Munsters

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  • Herman gets a ring with the cursed Fregosi Emerald stuck on his finger, and it turns out the last living Fregosi who can lift the curse is a famous car manufacturer. He reveals that he uses black magic to help his business by cursing his competitors cars (engines failing, hexing the radio so it plays ads for his dealerships, etc).
    Grandpa: Have you ever put a curse on the whole car?
  • The episode "Eddie's Brother" has a rather humorous moment where Herman is advised by Grandpa to show Lily some of Eddie's old baby stuff to get her to want to have another child. Herman can't find any of Eddie's baby clothes or toys, so he settles for his own baby belongings. He wonders if his old baby bonnet still fits. It's not long until he's sitting on the floor wearing the bonnet, shaking his oversized rattle, and babbling like an infant. Lily sees this and she gets the wrong idea.
    Marilyn: What is it, Aunt Lily?
    Lily: It took a hundred years, but it finally happened: Herman has gone through a second childhood!
  • In another episode, Herman is having trouble getting to sleep, and the only thing that helps is a walk through the park. Lily doesn't want Herman to go, as there have been reports of a 'dangerous person' in the park at night. (Naturally, it's Herman.) Grandpa at one point tells Herman, "What's the big deal? Lots of people have insomnia, and you don't see them losing sleep over it!"
  • Eddie's "unmasking" of the title character in "Zombo".
    • From the same episode, Herman attempting to impress Eddie by drinking a potion from Grandpa that gives him fangs and wild hair.
  • For their initiation, two would-be frat brothers are sent to spend the night in the Munsters' house. For a prank, they decide to steal the scariest looking "dummy" (Herman) from the set-up and put it in a campus sorority house. Hilarity Ensues, but the two funniest lines are Herman's reaction when he wakes up ("I'm in a girl's closet... Please, let it be Lily's...") and when he fails to escape and ends up hiding in the bathroom.
    Girl #1: You seen my hairbrush?
    Girl #2: I think you left it in the bathroom.
    Herman: Left it in the bathroom?!
  • In one episode, after being first turned into a normal human, Herman gets turned into a woman by Grandpa's 'cure'. Note that he looks like a female version of himself, — and yet we discover that 'Hermana' got a job at a nightclub and had to deal with lecherous drunks!
  • In another episode, "Will Success Spoil Herman Munster?", after Herman unintentionally swallowed a Nuthin’ Muffin that was flung into his mouth, when he started singing and speaking afterwards, his baritone voice was changed to high-pitched squeaky voice. He sounded a lot like Alvin and the Chipmunks for that!
  • One one occasion Herman is sneaking around in a museum and finds an Allosaurus skeleton. He waves at it and says, "We have a little fella just like you at home."
  • Then there was the time Herman tried taking a photo of a statue of Davy Crockett and scared the statue into running away. Herman: "Great men... they're all so neurotic."
  • Grandpa saves Herman from a sorority by flying around in the form of a bat and terrifying the young ladies. But when Herman asks Grandpa to leave; Grandpa refuses on the grounds that he's having too much fun. Unfortunately for him when the cops show up he'd (unknowingly) turned back to normal and tells them that he's a "great big scary bat!" He ends up in jail.
  • Since Marilyn can't seem to keep a boyfriend, Grandpa makes a love potion that makes others fall in love with the drinker instantly, then slips it into her oatmeal at breakfast. She leaves without eating it, so Lily puts it back in the pot. She, Herman, and Eddie finish it, and...
    Herman: It just came over me: you've never looked more lovely!
    Lily: That's strange. I was just thinking how particularly handsome YOU look this morning!
    Eddie: Isn't anybody gonna say how lovely I look?
  • Dr. Dudley saying Grandpa looks like a penguin. He really does look like the Batman villain!
    Dr. Dudley: He had a penguin with him that turned out to be his grandfather.
  • When the Munsters are invited to a costume party, the hosts aren't happy about it, grumbling that "they hope they don't misspell their surname or it'd look like we'd invited the Monsters" and "The only way it could get worse was if it rained", which is Tempting Fate because it does rain, however, Grandpa actually likes the rain.
    • From the same episode, a man dances with Lily and notices "it feels like you're dancing on air". When we see her feet, she's actually levitating.
    • When Grandpa takes to the buffet, he quickly finds something to his taste: The Sterno warming one of the chafing dishes.
  • After Herman is fired from the parlor, he finds work at a Chinese laundry. After telling Herman what to do when the bells on the machines ring, the proprietor goes off to lunch. Things go swimmingly, until the phone begins to ring.
    Lily: [tearfully] I think our Eddie has just become a man.
    Grandpa: And the hard way, not like you, Herman!
  • Eddie asks Lily why Herman and Grandpa aren't joining the rest of them for supper. Lily says they both had important business to attend to. Eddie points out that Grandpa didn't even take his shovel along.
  • Herman and Lily both secretly take welding jobs to pay for anniversary gifts for each other in "Happy 100th Anniversary". Herman fools around welding a message to Lily, his welding partner, writing "I am a boy". She adorably writes back, "I am a girl! Tee hee".
  • Anytime the family refers to themselves as an average, all-American family. They're perfectly normal!
  • Herman tries to get Eddie to accept their intention to move in Munsters on the Move by using a story about a prairie dog and a rabbit, but Eddie either comically or willfully misses the point of the story and derails it to the point the prairie dog (the intended hero) gets eaten by a kangaroo, and the rabbit gets caught, dyed pink for Easter, gets fat, and has little pink bunnies. In the end, Herman's confused, and Eddie's conviced the story meant the move was off.
  • The entirety of "A House Divided":
    • Eddie's taking a black widow spider to school. Lily warns him that could be dangerous - he'd better make sure none of his classmates hurt the spider.
    • According to Lily, Herman's and Grandpa's last gift for Eddie "broke loose and swallowed a milk truck."
    • The elaborate traps Herman and Grandpa set up around the garage.
    • Grandpa insists he and Herman had an agreement that, in return for Grandpa making the down payment on the house, "half of this house is mine!" Herman warns him, "You asked for it!" before painting his white line through every room of the house.
    • As all of the above happened while he was in school, Eddie comes home very confused.
      Eddie: Hey, Mom, the white line goes down the middle of the bathtub!
      Lily: I know, dear... (to Marilyn) And Grandpa can't get hot water on his side.
    • The Escalating War over items left on the line.
      Marilyn: Grandpa, I didn't know you wore a monocle.
      Grandpa: This is not a monocle. I happened to leave my reading glasses on the white line, and Herman here cut them in two!
      Herman: That pays you back for what you did to my bedroom slippers!
    • Lily's ploy to starve the men into making up doesn't work, so when she sees them building a stone wall over the line in the living room, she simply tells them, "All right, you two, break it up! That's enough!" and orders them to start working together on a new present for Eddie.
    • After everything has been resolved, Herman's trying to wash off the white line in time to watch a Western where the cowboy is a psychiatrist who psychoanalyzes the bad guys. When Grandpa insists they won't be watching that, Herman puts the bucket of soap and water aside and reaches for the bucket of white paint instead.
      Lily: Herman Munster, don't you dare!
      Herman: Just kidding, dear...
  • In The Movie, Munster, Go Home!, all of the Gryphon's attempts to get the Munsters off the estate backfire horribly:
    • At first the English Munsters attempt to spook the family out of Munster Hall by making it seem haunted. Herman and Lily over shrieking and howling. Herman remarks adoringly that they're playing "their song".
    • The final attempt to bump off Herman during the race results in a dramatic Race Against the Clock to alert him of the Gryphon. Ultimately Herman blunders through the race anyway, with the Gryphon making one final attempt to mow him down....smashing their car and sending them flying over a rather confused Herman.
  • After discovering from the will reading that he's now Lord Munster, Herman begins to smash up the living room in excitement while Lily and Eddie jump around. Grandpa then motions to Marilyn in order to tell her something.
    Grandpa: I used to think there'd always be an England, but now I'm not so sure.
  • Herman boasting that, like the mighty viking, he's looking forward to the trip across the ocean, only to get seasick the instant the ship starts to move.
    Eddie: Gee, Grandpa, what's wrong with Pop?
    Grandpa: What's wrong with him? The mighty viking is about to heave-ho!
  • All of Herman's Comically Missing the Point moments while he and Grandpa are escaping the police station in The Munsters' Revenge.
    • This exchange after Grandpa swerves his way through a busy intersection escaping Glen's pursuit:
      Grandpa: Did we hit anybody?
      Herman: I don't—I don't think so.
      Grandpa: Good. Then I can open my eyes.

2022 Film

  • Herman's joke:
Herman: Okay. Here's one I know you're gonna love. How do you keep a grouchy, old, broken-down vampire in suspense?
The Count, sighing: I don't know. How do you keep a grouchy, old, broken-down vampire in suspense?
*extremely long pause*
Herman: I'll tell you later.
The Count: ....
*Herman and Lily crack up*
  • The Count's girly magazine, which features a Frankenstein creature-esque woman... with her limbs taken apart.
  • Anytime Lily uses her scary deep voice on her father.
  • The Comically Serious Gateman, Goodbury, and Graves.
    • Herman's glass coffin joke he tells them and their subsequent deadpan reaction.
  • Everything about Orlok:
    • Him showing Lily- on their date, no less- every single photo of his beloved, plague-ridden rats he owns.
    • Trying to woo Lily with "Disco Vampire".
    • Freeze-Frame Bonus: Look at the newspaper the Count reads in America, showing Orlok died from being eaten by his own pet rats.
  • Herman pretending he needs to check his schedule to find a date with Lily. His calender and notepad show he's written her name with hearts and "Herman + Lily" on them.