- The jackdaw who is obsessed with keeping track of the number of jokes Narnia has seen.Aslan: No, my child, you have not made the first joke. You have merely been the first joke.
- Even better in the audiobook, where Kenneth Branagh seems to be doing an impression of Fozzie.
- Andrew's Humiliation Conga as the animals he's convinced can't talk keep trying to feed him, particularly the bear who makes a very thoughtful sacrifice of his honeycomb.Not all the bees were dead.
- When the animals think Uncle Andrew might actually be a plant of some kind, and try sticking his "roots" (his feet) into the ground and watering him. It's mentioned that Uncle Andrew had a very narrow escape, because the animals at one point wondered if his bushy hair was actually his roots and nearly buried him in the ground head-first.
- The fact that the animals adopted Uncle Andrew as a sort of pet and name him "Brandy", 'because he made that noise so often'.
- Andrew's housekeeper during the entire sequence of Jadis stomping around London, having the best day of her life.
- For that matter, everyone's reaction to Jadis's arrival in London: "Three cheers for the Hempress of Colney 'Atch!" note For a moment she's flattered by their sarcastic praise, until she sees they're all laughing at her. Then she tries to cast a curse on them, only to find her magic doesn't work on Earth. Everyone else who hears her failed spell assumes she's drunk.
- Jadis is halted in her attempts to go out and conquer London by Digory's aunt, Lettie. Yes, a giant queen who single-handedly killed everyone in her world is being stood up to by an unimpressed battleax of an Englishwoman, who thinks Jadis is some kind of a circus performer and doesn't approve of the revealing outfit she wears. Jadis eventually resorts to bodily throwing Lettie across the room, and Lettie still just gets up and goes off to call the police.
- The last two lines of the book, where Uncle Andrew tells this story to his grandnephews and recounts how Jadis had "a devilish temper" but was "a damn fine woman".
- Any time it's brought up that Andrew goes to visit the bottle of brandy (AKA the "nasty grown-up drink") he keeps hidden in his closet. After having several glasses, in one case, he becomes convinced that Jadis might actually fall for him. She doesn't.
- Any time the She-Elephant accidentally insulted short noses, causing the Bulldog to say "I object to that remark!"
- Towards the beginning of the book, Andrew insists that as a magician, he is Above Good and Evil, and gives Digory a whole speech on how "Ours, my boy, is a high and lonely destiny." Digory isn't buying any of it.
- When he tries to leave, Andrew gets him back by appealing to his chivalry, or in other words, almost literally pulled a Shut Up Kirke.
- The way it's described that Polly's punishment for disappearing with Digory for hours is to be "given dinner with all the nice parts left out" before getting sent to bed.
- The author can be quite a Deadpan Snarker at times, such as the above incident and when he notes that "people who try to make themselves stupider very often succeed."
- The newly named Fledge is made a winged horse and asked if he could carry Digory and Polly on their mission to get the apple. He agrees that he could after all the weight he carried during his time as a cab horse...but hopes the elephant doesn't want to come too.
Funny / The Magician's Nephew