Episode 28: Families are Tough!
- Henry and Ben get into an argument regarding the term "Tiger mom" and its links to Asian culture. Ben argues that Ninjas can be white people too as the term is being used in the context of a white female who killed her daughters. Henry asks Ben to prove who is a white Ninja to which Ben quickly replies "No, you can't see them!" which takes Henry and Marcus back a little bit until they bust out laughing.
Episode 34: Heaven's Gate
- It's the first episode available on Spotify (the trio have discredited their earlier episodes due to the apparent "low quality" hence why Spotify only has episodes 34 onward and not 1-33 which can be found on Archive.org) and it opens with a heated argument of who owns a dildo sitting in the studio. Henry claims it is a Murderfist prop whilst Marcus claims it is a present bought for him for Christmas by former host of Sex and Other Human Activites Sara Benincasa.
Episode 35: There's Bones In The Chocolate!
- The titular source of the episode's name (and second to '...and that's when the cannibalism started...' among the show's catchprases); A reaction to the fact that Jeffrey Dahmer worked as a mixer at a chocolate factory. What follows is described as a factory worker and others screaming in horror over the possiblity of victim-bone-fragment contamination from Dahmer's fingernails in the creamy chocolaty goodness...
Episode 61: The B.T.K. Killer Part II: "Detective Popcorn"
- As the name implies, this episode marks the birth of the hosts' recurring character, Detective Popcorn. It starts with commentary about how the police tracking B.T.K. are unable to do anything, a reminder of their nickname of "The Hot Dog Squad" (though Ben gets it wrong and calls them the "Sausage Gang") and Henry imagining the Anthropomorphic Food of the "Let's All Go to the Lobby" theater ads as police officers. The end result is the gang's go-to joke when they want to really highlight how useless the police are:Detective Popcorn: Aw, gee, boss, I'm just a bunch of popcorn! How am I supposed to find a BTK killer? Ohh sweet, sweet delicious butter all over. Mmm... salty kernels... mmmm, ohh... can't resist me. Trying to sit down watch a movie, mmm... you greedy fingers! Looking for my popcorny kernels, ohh... There's no way I'm gonna find that BTK killer, being so delicious.
Episode 86: Spree Killers Part I: "If They Knew How Much Fun I Was Havin'..."
- While some parts of the Spree Killers two-parter haven't aged particularly well (their segment on Richard Speck, mass rapist and brutal spree killer, spends more time making fun of Speck's victims than Speck himself - an approach the boys deliberately avoid in later episodes), there are still a few gems to be found.
- Henry and Marcus reveal that they shared data on their hard drives. Ben immediately asks if the transaction was monitored by the FBI, and if they wore trench coats and exchanged the hard drives in a back alley.Henry: I wore a clown mask and roller skates!Ben: Right, right.Henry (adopting a Creepy Clown Voice): Heh heh heh! Taking down the paradigm! Any one of you kids want to come take down the paradigm with old...clowny here?Ben: God, you are specifically creepy today.Henry: Zippers the Clown wants you guys to help take down the government!
- Henry and Marcus reveal that they shared data on their hard drives. Ben immediately asks if the transaction was monitored by the FBI, and if they wore trench coats and exchanged the hard drives in a back alley.
Episode 87: Spree Killers Part II: "I've Been Getting These Headaches..."
- The boys do a...spirited table read of Virginia Tech shooter Seung-Hui Cho's bizarre stage play "Richard Macbeef". It has to be heard to be believed.
Episode 93: Gnomes!
- Pretty much everything said by the foul-mouthed, hyper-aggressive abomination that is Terry The Gnome counts.Henry (as Terry): I got my dick stuck in a fox's asshole earlier today.
Episode 105: John Wayne Gacy
- Early in the episode Henry reads an excerpt from a book written about the case by Gacy's defense attorney, in which the man draws comparisons to himself and John Adams defending the British soldiers who perpetreated the Boston Massacre. Throughout the reading, Ben and Marcus frequently interject to remind everyone that Gacy had the bodies of over 30 young boys either in his basement or in a river.
Episode 124: Dahmer Part I: "Infinity Land"
- The trio fail to identify who Otto von Bismarck is, confusing him for the Kaiser and Archduke Franz Ferdinand.Marcus: I forgot that in our Dahmer outline! "Who's Otto von Bismarck!"
- As a child, Dahmer wore leg-braces, like Forrest Gump. This leads to the creation of Forrest Gump, Serial Killer.Henry: I went to Vietnam. But when I went there, I killed some pros-ti-tuutes.
Ben: That's a much better story. Forrest, we're friends now.
Henry: I went to a place called My Lai, where I found out who I really was. I am the blackness!
- Henry's explanation of a game he plays:Henry: What I love to do is... I play this game called "Sprinkler", where I stick my pinky up inside my penis hole and pee out the sides of it.
Ben: So even though it's your pinky, which is your smallest digit, it's still a very large digit to put into a very small hole.
Henry: Quarter-sized hole.
Henry: But you have to know you have a penis... [Beat] You gotta know it!
Ben: That's about a five-alarm Zebrowski piss-fire right there. We'll need about five Zebrowskis to piss that one out.
- The guys describe teenage Jeff note and finding him strangely cool and like Sean Penn's character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Episode 125: Dahmer Part II: "How to Be Left Alone in the Ghetto"
- Their description of Club Baths in Milwaukee, Dahmer's first haunt before he began killing:Ben and Henry: NO WAY!
Ben: The Club Baths in Milwaukee was filthy? I can't believe it. Oh, man! [as the owner] "Well, we got the cheese sauna, and we also have the spaghetti and meatball pit!"
Henry: And we're doing a bit of a brat boil in the Egyptian-themed room.
Ben: Yeap. Yeap, yeap. That's all the steam from the brats.
Ben: And it's just so funny: if you hear about, like, a "San Francisco gay bathclub", you're thinking: schvelte bodies, beautiful nipples...
Henry: This is Milwaukee SECRET GAY!
Ben: This is underground... this is "da Bears" guys from SNL, all in a dark cave, trying to pretend like they're not gay and don't wanna fuck each other!
- Even the Nightmare Fuel that is Jeffrey Dahmer's shrine to necrophilia doesn't stop the jokes.
- First, they get to what Dahmer managed to finish— and Ben brings up an odd metaphor for it...Marcus: [...] It was covered in photographs of all of his victims...
Henry: Like real Etsy-like.
Ben: It's sort of like that Kevin Costner movie Field of Dreams— "if you build it, they will come"— but, like, he was just wanting a Marilyn Manson concert.
Henry: If he built it, he would come.
Ben: Yeah! "If I build it, I will come." That's true. I just wanna see Kevin Costner beating off on the pitcher's mound. [as Costner] Yeah! YEEAAAAHHHHH!
Henry: No, no, no! This is about old-timey baseball!
Ben (as Costner): No, not for me, it wasn't! YEAAAAAHHHHHH! This is my field of dreams! Field of Creams!
Henry: I really wish that I had not come to this old baseball field— I'm Shoeless Jackson! I should have worn some shoes if I knew— (Henry cracks up)— that Kevin Costner would be jerking off all over my feet!
Ben (as Costner): Mmm, yeah. Trickery, motherfucker!
- Then, they imagine Dahmer buying a chair for his shrine, which cracks them all up.Ben: So, what are you shopping for today at Sealey's, sir?
Henry: I just kinda wanna— (switches to his Dahmer voice) I'm just kinda looking for a nice, relaxing chair that I can put in front of my bone altar so I can jerk off all over the bones.
Henry (as shopping assistant): Well, we're gonna need to get you... one of these Petersens. Beautiful, silver riveting. You've got a deep-pocket bucket seat...
Ben: Do you like to drink beer? Do you like to drink a little bit?
Henry (as Dahmer): Ohhh, I've got to drink beer, or else I'd be killing you right now!
Ben: Why don't you push that button right there on the left?
Henry (as Dahmer): Oh! It's a beer fridge! I can't believe I found something that works so perfectly! Eyyyy, you wanna come by my place?
Ben: We've got a couple of delivery guys coming. (as Dahmer) "Make 'em hairless!"
- First, they get to what Dahmer managed to finish— and Ben brings up an odd metaphor for it...
Episode 126: Dahmer Part III: "Paint it White"
- The show opens with Dahmer pitching shows to the Food Network.Ben: Well, Mr. Dahmer, I think we don't have room for you here on the Food Network. But I think it's a great show idea—
Henry (as Dahmer): But no! Here's my other pitch! Here's my other pitch! What we do is, right—?
Ben: Does it all involve human penises? We're not allowed to have a show where you cook human penises on the show.
Henry (as Dahmer): I think there could be a work-around to the human penis end. But I think that, mostly what I want is... Okay, we get Tyler Florence, right?
Ben: Mm. Yeah.
Henry (as Dahmer): I slit him from bush hair to Adam's apple—
Ben: I'm gonna say SECURITY! Security!
Henry (as Dahmer): Oh come on now! I'm having fun with cooking!
Ben: We're gonna have to get Mr. Dahmer out of here. Thank you. Having Fun With Cooking with Mr. Jeffrey Dahmer will not be greenlit this season. However, I think there might be different shows over at Tru TV. Okay. Goodbye, Mr. Dahmer. Thank you.
- Dahmer's second attempt at creating a zombie with Jeremy Weinberger due to Henry's take on Dahmer (portrayed by Henry as a high-voiced child-like nerd-dork)...Going "Yay!" (when wrongly thinking he succeeded) and deciding to rename Weinberger "Zamzar"...Henry (as Dahmer): "...Oh no, he DIED again! Welp; More boilin' water..."Ben: "...Now get some COLD water in there..."
- What exactly was Dahmer chanting when he was with Tracy Edwards?Ben (as Dahmer): Sausage, penis... Sausage, penis...
Henry (as Dahmer) ~Do I suck his dick or dooo~ I~ turn it into soup~? Do I suck his feet or do I~ God, I'm off— and play with them for an hour?
Ben (as Edwards): I can hear you. I can hear what you're chanting!
Henry (as Dahmer): Oh, I'm just planning.
Ben: Well, that's terrifying.
Henry: I wanna play with your nipples like they're radio dials, but I kinda wanna just rip them off, like what I did to the radio dials on my radio.
- Henry imagines what the lost penis under Dahmer's bed thinks.Henry: That poor, shriveled, old penis must have been so alone.
Ben: You gotta cut off a lotta human penises to lose one.
Henry (as the penis note ): Nobody loves me. Jeffrey hasn't sucked on me in weeks. What do you think I did wrong, Mister Skeleton?
Ben: Nothing, human penis—
Henry (as the skeleton): I JUST DON'T THINK YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE TO HIM ANYMORE! MAYBE YOU NEED TO GET SOME PLASTIC SURGERY!
Ben: Awww, don't say that to the little penis.
Henry (as the penis): Awww.... I just— I just wish that somebody would just suck me and play with my balls, and give me some love. Or if I was still alive. That would be nice.
Henry (as the skeleton): YEAH!? YOU DON'T THINK I DON'T WANNA STILL BE ALIVE!?
- Every time they quote the colorful, mustachioed note Detective Patrick Kennedy and the silly voice they give him.Henry!Kennedy: "...DIJON!..."
- The guys describe Kennedy as sounding like a guy talking about a baseball game.
Episode 158: Nazis and the Occult Part 2: "White People Nerds"
- The Title Drop, where the Nazi leadership get dismissed as a bunch of nerds obsessed with Aryan purity, Norse gods and the Knights of the Round Table.
- The boys' imagining of the Night of the Long Knives.Nerdy Nazi: Hey guys, um... about the concentration camps... what I was thinking instead is what if we all take a group trip to Six Flags?
Top SS officer: Thank you so much for your feedback at the meeting, Mark.
Nerdy Nazi: You know, I'm just glad that you guys are still down to listen, I know that there's a lot—
SS Officer: IT'S THE NIGHT OF THE LONG KNIVES!
Nerdy Nazi: NOOOO NOOO NOOOO—
- Similarly, a Nazi getting executed in the middle of suggesting they go out for pretzels.
Episode 171: Serial Killers of the American Frontier
- A quite literal case of And Your Reward Is Clothes, when Thomas Tate Tobin doesn't get his cash bounty for killing Felipe Espinosa.Ben (as Tobin): ... a coat?
Marcus (as the Governor of Colorado): An elaborate coat!
Ben: I just beheaded two people and I get a coat?!
Marcus: An elaborate coat!
Ben: I didn't win a golf tournament!
Marcus: ... and a rifle!
Ben: I'd like my 550 dollars please.
Marcus: You get a coat!
Ben: ... I don't like this country anymore.
- The boys' giddy excitement over forming a posse.
- The Gratuitous Spanish version of "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE" as Espinosa's Catchphrase.¡VOY A TENER MI VENGAN— [Killed Mid-Sentence]
- Marcus's description of the Harpe brothers' hideout Cave-in-Rock. It is a cave... in a rock.
Leonard Lake and Charles Ng
- Henry's impersonation of Charles Ng. A white dude impersonating an Asian using copious amounts of Asian Speekee Engrish? Not funny. A white dude impersonating an Asian Serial Killer using Asian Speekee Engrish— an Asian serial killer who, by all accounts, actually talked like that? Hilarious.
Episode 204: Leonard Lake and Charles Ng Part II: "What I Bring to Friendship"
- If Henry's impersionation of Ng is true (it's not), he apparently had trouble with the Marine Corps chants...Marine Sergeant: Private! Listen: I love your exuberance, alright? But I'm really gonna need you to hit some of the L's on this, okay? I know that's— there is a barrier here. And I understand that we are the Marines, where equal opportunity is what it is. Just— we're really gonna try to hit these L's, okay?
Charles Ng: Of course, of course, Commander! Yes sir, yes sir! No kirr...!
Marine Sergeant: Alright, just repeat after me— "No kill, no thrill!"
Charles Ng: No kirr—
Marine Sergeant: "No kill."
Charles Ng: No... thrirr... Just give me gun! JUST GIVE ME GUN! Lemme— JUST GIVE ME GUN! Everybody always comprain about how I say things, and what I do! All I bwing to fwiendship!
Episode 201: H.H. Holmes Part I: "The Horrid Meat"
- Henry's impression of Upton Sinclair is... well, it's certainly something.Henry (as Sinclair): I was a sick boy! I lived in a wheelchair 'til the age of 9, and all I asked my father was to let me roll through the garden. I just wanted to see the tulips... spring forth, in earlier parts of the year. But the croup kept me away from the strong elemental winds... and the pollens... and the bees. And also my weak feet. And THE HORRID MEAT I would see coming from the kitchen to the living room! How I loathed it!Ben: God, I kinda want it for an alarm clock or something.Marcus: Yeah! Just "the horrid meat" over and over again. Could you say that like five times or —Henry: THE HORRID MEAAAT! THE HORRID MEAAAAT!Ben: Oh, goddamn, what time is it? Oh, shit, I'm late to work!
Episode 202: H.H. Holmes Part III: "Professional Uncle"
- The introduction of sisters Minnie (whom Holmes married) and Nannie Williams, whom Holmes murdered to get their land. These two are characterized by the hosts as two shrill bubbleheads who are constantly introducing themselves with the most shrill annoying voices immaginable. Their (Imagined take on) "Minnie & Nannie" makes the hosts end up feeling sorry for their (imagined take) on Holmes after all this. The guys surmise he killed them just so they could shut up note .Minnie: "Hi! I'm Minnie!"Nannie: "Hi! I'm Nannie! This is Minnie!"
Episode 218: Aum Shinrikyo Part I: "Mountain Wizards"
- Henry opens the episode proclaiming he will not be doing an Asian Speekee Engrish accent... only for him to slip into it without thinking when impersonating a blind Japanese acupuncturist.Henry: Can you imagine, though, it's kind of sexy to be with a blind Japanese woman who's just like, "Oh, where to stick pin, young Kissel? Ohhhh no...? Well— hold on, are these two anacondas? Oh no, these are your-"
Marcus: You made it thirteen minutes.
Henry: God damn it!
Episode 220: Aum Shinrikyo Part III: "The Soldiers of White Love"
- Their impression of General William Westmoreland on acid involves him eating cereal out of a Vietnamese boy or his skull.Marcus: Yeah, Westmoreland was a psychopath.
Ben: He was eating it out of the boys'?
Marcus: Yeah, sure. He had a boy's skull that he ate breakfast out of.
Ben: Oh! I see.
Henry: You put a couple of expanders in a butthole, you can get some cereal in there. Technically, a serving of cereal is only three-fourths of a cup!
- The Cameo by Charles Ng.Henry (as Ng): Why nobody raugh!? WHY NOBODY RAUGH!!?
Ben: Well, I don't know I don't
Henry (as Ng): NOBODY KNOW WHAT I BRING TO AUM SHINRIKYO!!
Ben: It's kind of a serious time for Aum Shinrikyo
Henry (as Ng): NOBODY KNOWS! ERRYBODY JUDGE! ERRYBODY ALWAYS JUUUDGE!!
- Aum Shinrikyo's laser experiments and anime influences raises comparisons to Neon Genesis Evangelion— something Marcus has opinions about.Henry: [Shoko Asahara] wanted to be an anime guy! He wanted the whole thing to be an anime! He legitimately looked around, being like: "We need Mechwarriors!" And they're like "Yes, we know, but then we have to raise children that are essentially artificially intelligently designed— like, human cyborgs that will feed into the Mechwarriors, in order to create a union between man and machine that will not be like the union between God and Man..." Hello, Evangelion!
Marcus: Yeah! And one of them's going to be a super-annoying German redhead that's gonna ruin the whole show!
Henry: She's got great breasts, though!
Ben: I don't think she ruined it!
Marcus: Oh, she is AWFUL!
Ben: I love Evangelion. It's the only anime I watched.
Henry: But that's what he wanted.
- Defectors from Aum Shinrikyo who are recaptured are subjected to a barrage of gruesome imagery like shootings and vehicular accidents. When Henry hears about it, however... well, let's just say Asahara was lucky he never met Henry.Henry: The whole time, I would literally just be sitting there going like, "Fuck yeah, dude! This is fucking metal, man! Yeah!"
Ben: I don't think that he would want your love, though, so...
Henry: WHOOOOOOO! Sign me up!
Ben: "Can you please get the man who tries to milk me every day outta here!?"
Henry: WHOOOOO! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN!
Ben: You'd be the only one who gets kicked out of the cult because you annoyed the man so much!
Henry (as Asahara): I'm sorry, Zebrowski-san, but you are far too... gnarly for Aum Shinrikyo.
Episode 222: Manifestos
- Again, Henry's impressions, this time of the Santa Barbara shooter Elliot Rodger, adopting what Ben calls the shooter's "inner monologue" (In reality, Rodgers voice and mannerisms erred on the side of Camp Straight.) The voice is like some bizarro overly-melodramatic Alfred Hitchcock.
- The revelation that Rodgers often annoyed his roommates by blasting soft rock from his room, and, in particular, his favorite song was "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood (incorrectly identified as Phil Collins in the episode). Made all the better when Henry begins singing along to the song...in the Elliot Rodger voice.Elliot Rodger: Bring me a higher love / bring me a higher love, oh...
Roommate: Hey, Rodger, I got a test in the morning...hey Rodger, it's my finals week—
Elliot Rodger: THIS IS MY PHIL COLLINS TIME! YOU DO NOT INTERRUPT MY PHIL COLLINS TIME! Oh, thank god I bought these white sneakers, so I can walk down the avenue while listening to this song...
Roommate: All right. Well, I'm gonna move out next week.
Elliot Rodger: Wait a second, can you go check in the kitchen to see if we have any...clean knives?
Roommate: Yep! All clean!
- The revelation that Rodgers often annoyed his roommates by blasting soft rock from his room, and, in particular, his favorite song was "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood (incorrectly identified as Phil Collins in the episode). Made all the better when Henry begins singing along to the song...in the Elliot Rodger voice.
- The exchange that immediately follows that bit:Marcus: Ohhhh, there is no musical artist I hate more than Phil Collins.
Ben: Is it Phil Collins' fault, or his fans' fault?
Henry: It's Phil Collins' fault. I'm gonna say this whole killing spree is Phil Collins' fault!
- Among the many videos Elliot Rodger put up on his YouTube page were "Life is So Unfair Because Girls Don't Want Me", "Why Do Girls Hate Me So Much?" ... and "Stuck in Traffic at Santa Barbara: Made it a Little Fun", in which Rodger just sat off to one side of the road and played "SOS" by The Police.Henry: Just imagine, during all the times when I'm not thinking about my "Day of Retribution" and how all girls are depriving me of love and affection... I like to make things a little fun. You know? Just stop by! You're in traffic! Get yourself a little ice cream. Because if not, you're gonna be sitting in traffic, and I can just sit off to the side and enjoy a vanilla cone with some rainbow sprinkles on it.
Ben: So, how was your date with Elliot?
Marcus: It was fine. We sat by traffic, we listened to The Police...
Henry: I made it a little fun for her.
- Henrys immediate desire to bully Elliot Rodger after the first clip of the video he made before his killing spree:Henry: Here here here, its the wedgie patrol! Were gonna give him a wedgie so hard HIS FATHER DIES!
- Henry calls Kyle Odom someone with "a nine-thousand yard stare".
- Odom's manifesto describes his encounter at a Safeway with three aliens disguised as old men, who molested him telepathically. The trio are understandably skeptical... that it happened in public at a Safeway.Henry: At a bakery in a Safeway!?
- Ben's impression of Odom revising his catchphrase of "100% sane, 0% crazy" upon getting a Raging Stiffie from the aliens doing things to him:Ben: I gotta change it a little bit to 95% sane, 5% ROCK! HARD! RRRRRRRRROCK HARD!
- One of Odom's hallucinations was hearing the Martians sing "Sister sister...He's just a plaything...We wanna make him stay up all night..." which makes the guys comment that it sounds like something sung by the Talking Heads. Henry then does an impression of David Byrne singing those lines and the whole thing is dubbed "The 'Sister Sister' / 'Talking Heads' Incident".
- While what Kyle Odom was going through was technically no laughing matter, the fact that his delusion was all about getting sexually abused by a race of sex-crazed, shapeshifting, humanoid frog-people from Mars who looked like Muppets is pretty hilarious.
- The Running Gag of an imaginary scenario of Christopher Dorner getting in trouble at the Navy over his wearing of jingling Christmas elf-shoes and Dorner being a Scary Black Man, arguing over this.Henry (as Dorner): I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT ALIVE!
- Dorner closed out his manifesto with a long list of shout-outs to various politicians and entertainers he liked (including then-Governor Chris Christie note and exhorting Christie to lose weight). The guys reading this is quite amusing.
Episode 235: Albert Fish Part II: "That's How They Do It In Hollywood"
- Albert Fish got his hobby of writing horrifically dirty letters to unsuspecting people from a bunch of guys at a mental asylum who used to read patients' main. Henry describes this activity as "like Sesame Street, if Sesame Street was in shit-covered Hell!"
- Björk, guardian angel.Ben: For some reason, I pictured the angel as Björk, wearing her swan suit. She would be a good angel, if I had to have an angel in my life.
Marcus: If you had to have an angel come and tell you to stop murdering the boy?
Henry: No! Don't murder! Neeeeever murder! Only... Jump!
Marcus: Did you just... She sounds Jamaican!
Ben: No! That sounds like Björk!
Henry: If you're doing Björk, then you have to sound like thi~is! Björk!
Marcus: I am Björk! Neeeever kill! Jump! Only jump!
- Henry finishes reading Fish's account of how he murdered a little boy, then cooked and ate his flesh. How do the other two respond?
Episode 236: Albert Fish Part III: "The Werewolf of Wysteria"
- Henry has a brilliant idea to catch the pedophile killer Albert Fish: disguising himself as a little girl.Henry (as little girl): Come get me, yeah!
Ben: Alright, Marcus, hit him with the club!
Henry (as little girl): Pour some sugar on me!
Marcus: (shrieks like a banshee) Get him! Get him! Yeah!
Ben: Officer, I actually don't know Marcus or Henry, and I thought what they did to that man was terrible.
Episode 241: Serial Killers and the Women Who Love Them
- Concerning women who wanted to date John Wayne Gacy; The guys first read a quote from a self-proclaimed "Black Sexy Mama" (Henry makes her a Sassy Black Woman). Then, after reading a quote from another woman who once endured horrific abuse from a past partner, they suggest that they sic the "Black Sexy Mama" on the guy. Both women's names are also literally mirror images of each other note .
- Their impression of David "Son of Sam" Berkowitz. Cue the ramblings of a huge nebbish with a ton of allergies.
- The segment on a groupie's scheme to "romance" Charles Manson so she could get his body after his death to show off at carnivals. Henry uses this as an opportunity to launch into his impression of Manson: cue the craziest ramblings ever. Among "Charlie's" many weird pronouncements:
- He had a "question mark" shaped bowel movement and took this as his butt wondering about life.
- He went to the ER because he hallucinated that one of his toes became a talking tomato.
- He apparently has leftover dope and Lynnette 'Squeaky' Fromme's pube hair from years ago still stuck in his teeth.
- He's become a very sexually frustrated elderly man who's "lost his touch" with the ladies.
- Also during the Manson segment; After the guys argue over the technical aspects of preserving and carting around a corpse, Henry suggests that he'd want to be a mummified corpse-attraction, much to the others' displeasure. An argument ensues.Henry: "You can take selfies with me... put things in my my mouth... pull down my pants..."
Episode 253: The Gulf Breeze Sightings Part II: "Gary, Don and Bob"
- The name of the episode comes from the names of the three bungling MUFON investigators who tried to help Ed Walters with his UFO encounters. The hosts derive great laughter from their general incompetence, which can easily be compared to The Three Stooges.
- At one point, Ed is reported to have put himself into a trance in order to recall a supposed abduction. This leads to a very trippy sequence of events aboard a UFO, which culminates in him fleeing from a trio of bipedal Komodo dragons while carrying two children in a bucket. And he apparently foiled the supposed Reptilians by throwing his shirt over their heads.Marcus: Yeah, so you can defeat a Komodo dragon with cotton?!Henry: ...Yeah!
Episode 254: Jack the Ripper Part I: "Cockney Yoga"
- The moving of the workers from London's West End to its East End leads to the mention of "Cockney yoga shops".Henry: [in exaggerated Cockney accent] Ya gotta take yer nuts and ya gotta ram 'em up inside yer nose and ya gotta get em in there, Gabriel! Lemme put some oil on yer back! Breef through it, ya fuckin' ape! Breef through it, ya fuckin' fat ape!!
Episode 256: Jack the Ripper Part II: "Anything But Your Prayers"
- The episode title comes from what Jack the Ripper allegedly said to Elizabeth Stride, the third canonical victim. Marcus dismisses this quote on the grounds that it's "too smooth" for a serial killer, which leads to Henry reciting the line in his screaming, No Indoor Voice Richard Chase impersonation and Corpsing in the middle of it.
- It's discussed that the people of 29 Hanbury Street, where Annie Chapman was murdered, charged sixpence for a birds-eye view of the crime scene - the biggest entertainment people could have at that time. This somehow gets compared to watching modern cops trying to wrangle animals in urban areas.
Ben: I would pay sixpence for that in a heartbeat!
- As further comparison, Henry tells a story of his police officer father having to round up illegally-smuggled pythons that had burst of a U-Haul truck's dashboard in the Midtown tunnel. The mental image of fat New York policemen herding snakes with nets cracks Ben up.
Episode 256: Jack the Ripper Part III: "Oh Murder!"
- In a sterling bit of Black Comedy, Henry and Ben keep asking Marcus if Mary Kelly's dying cry of "Oh, murder!" was actually what she said when she orgasmed. An exasperated but still amused Marcus has to concede, but gets a parting shot of:Marcus: ... fucking monsters.
Episode 264: L. Ron Hubbard Part IV: "Sea Org"
- It's discussed that in Hubbard's later years, he returned to the United States and had an apartment in Queens, where he was frequently mocked and harassed by the neighborhood kids, which prompts Henry to launch into an extended bit as a pair of New York juvenile delinquents who mug Hubbard for his shoes.Henry: (as Delinquent Kid #1) "Ey, Tommy, c'mere! C'mere, come look at this guy! Hey! You look like a homeless clown, you piece ah shit! Haha! Hey, gimme a dollar. Gimme a god-damn dollar. We got— H-hey, Tommy, look!" (as Delinquent Kid #2) "Oh, hey, look at dat dere, Billy, I think dat guy's wearin' our shoes. Eh, yeah, yeah, looks like he's wearin' our shoes!" (as Hubbard) "I'm not wearing your shoes, these are my shoes, I bought them from the thrift store!" (as Delinquent Kid #2) "Yeah, but it seems like maybe you're wearin' our shoes. Take off yer shoes. Take off our damn shoes!" (as Hubbard) "No, I will not, no, no, you have not flied your rudes! You have not been flying your rudes!" (as Delinquent Kid #1, Henry's voice breaking) "Take off. Ya god. Damn. Shoes. Ya got a knife?!"Henry: That would've been so much fun as a nine-year-old, having a good old-fashioned adult victim.
Episode 265: Chris Benoit
- The opening has the guys comparing Chris Benoit to OJ Simpson. They bring up Simpson's ads for AVIS Rental Cars and then discuss how Benoit probably was an actual AVIS customer more than Simpson. This then becomes a theoretical AVIS promotion where Benoit BECOMES THE CAR and everyone hitches on his muscles.
- Henry (as Benoit): Thanks, HGH! Making me a better taxi car since... my entire life!
- Ben has interesting memories of the WWE's Attitude Era:
- Ben: The greatest time in professional wrestling, where Vince Mc Mahon was just like, "Sable, go show your butthole." And then they were just like, "The numbers are through the roof! People love Sable's butthole! Can we get more women's buttholes? And let's have a man drink beer, publicly, and uh, fight the Canadians."
- Henry Zebrowski's impersonations of Chris Benoit, portraying him as a hammy Cloud Cuckoolander.
- First off, when discussing the incident that gave Benoit the nickname of "the Crippler" (Benoit accidentally broke Sabu's neck with a botched move), Henry gets a bit of mileage out of Sabu's nickname of "the Elephant Boy".Henry (as Benoit): The saddest part about what I did to the Elephant Boy— I did not mean to cripple him, so I know that he has an incredible memory. And he would remember every second of the excruciating pain THAT THE CRIPPLER TOOK HIM THROUGH THE LABYRINTH OF! LABYRINTH OF PAIN!!
Henry (as "Sabu the Elephant Boy"): I'm just bein' an elephant boy! I guess now, I'm just gonna sit in my chair. You know what? Thanks, Crippler, 'cos I hated walkin' around the mall!
- First off, when discussing the incident that gave Benoit the nickname of "the Crippler" (Benoit accidentally broke Sabu's neck with a botched move), Henry gets a bit of mileage out of Sabu's nickname of "the Elephant Boy".
- The guys discuss wrestler Kevin Sullivan (who was Nancy Benoit's ex-husband) and his weird "Army Of Darkness" cult angle (in which Nancy, then Nancy Sullivan, was a member). They play an audio of a promo where Sullivan goes on a threatening rant with a bunch of "mystical mumbo jumbo" (involving weirdness such as 'The Cosmic Cookie', 'The Tree of Woe", and "Og the Keeper of the Key'). Henry states that Sullivan sounded like an owner of a gas station...leading to Henry as "Kevin Sullivan, Gas Station Owner of Darkness"...Henry!Sullivan: "AH YES! I TALKED TO OG THE MASTER OF THE KEYS; HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN LET YOU INTO THE MEN'S ROOM!"Ben: "Nice. So it's a self-serve gas station or do I gotta..."Henry!Sullivan: "NO! WE GOT THE OFFER THE CHANCE TO CLEAN YOUR WINDOWS! ...eeehhhh... DON'T LOSE THIS KEY! THERE MUST BE ONLY ONE ACCORDING TO OG THE MASTER OF KEYS!"Ben: "Well, this key is absolutely disgusting. Thank you."Henry!Sullivan: "It should be!"
- This then leads up to the whole mess of Nancy leaving Sullivan for Benoit after Sullivan came up with a kayfabe Nancy / Benoit illicit affair angle. After describing a "taunting, titillating" promo involving Chris & Nancy note , we get Henry portraying Kevin Sullivan as a sad sack alone on the couch, watching HGTV until he falls asleep, with a box of Cheez-Its as his only "wife".
- When Ben says that "technical wrestler" is used to describe wrestlers who can't speak, "Chris" interrupts to prove he can, in fact, speak.
- Henry (as Benoit): Whaddya mean I can't speak?
Ben: No, wait, I—
Henry (as Benoit): I can speak! Listen! A, B, C, D, E... F... H?
Ben: (laughs) Yes, yes.
Henry (as Benoit): Seven.... fourteen! WrestleMania 27!
Henry (as Benoit): Ummm... Nancy's my wife! Right?
Ben: Yes, yes she is.
Henry (as Benoit): I can speak.
Ben: Okay. You gotta get to the ring now!
Henry (as Benoit): Now the ring's the big circle?
Ben: It's the— well, it's the "squared circle" they call it...
Henry (as Benoit): That's a funny name for it!
Ben: (laughs) Go get technical in there!
Henry (as Benoit): You're right! A plus B equals... WrestleMania 27!
- After the sober mention of how Benoit took more chair shots to the back of the head than he could count, Henry provides a bit of Mood Whiplash:Henry (as Benoit): No one can tell me that I can't count, alright!? 'Cos I've had one... two... niner... fi-five-fif! Fif-- fif-- Fifty. Fifty! Fi-fi-fifty! Gahhhh...
Ben: Did I hear a "niner" in there?
- When Chris was entering his Despair Event Horizon due to the Trauma Conga Line of dying wrestler friends (especially his best pal, Eddie Guerrero), his wife gave him a journal to keep as a diary and write "letters" to Guerrero as therapy...which leads to a bit of Black Comedy silliness from Henry as the spirit (or a halucination) of Benoit's pal, Eddie Guerrero, joins in...Henry (as Benoit): "Dear— dearest Eddie. How ya doin', man? I hope you're doin' good. I had a new spaghetti dish today at The Macaroni Grill note and I gotta say... it was absolutely slammin'. It took me on a trolley... all the way to Flavor-Town. And I tell ya what, when I got there to Flavor-Town there was a post office. And when I went to the Post Office to see the Mail Man, he had a delivery for me..."Henry (as the ghost of Eddie): "Chris..."Henry (as Benoit): "...and it was that incredible spaghetti dish I had at the Macaroni Grill..."Henry (as the ghost of Eddie): "...Chris! Chris!..."Henry (as Benoit): "Yeah?"Henry (as the ghost of Eddie): "...come join me! Come JOIN me! In Heaven, the ropes don't hurt, Chris!"Henry (as Benoit): "WHAAAT?"Henry (as the ghost of Eddie): "Yes, Chris!"Henry (as Benoit): "Ya know what I was thinkin' about? THE WHOLE FAMILY can go on a vacation!"Henry (as the ghost of Eddie): "Yeah...the whole family, Chris!"
- Among the many silly conspiracy theories the three delve into is an alleged interview with Chavo Guerrero where he supposedly said that Benoit was attacked while on the phone with him. Henry has the alleged family-killing attackers replaced with a singing telegram.Marcus: Supposedly, Chavo said in a WWE Magazine interview that at about 45 minutes into the conversation, a knock came at the door.Henry (as telegram guy): "...Singing telegram!"Ben: Not at the house! A singing telegram man!Henry (as Benoit): "Oh, wait a second! It's that Singing Telegram I ordered to congratulate myself on Wrestlemania's here. better let 'er in-AAAAARGH!"Henry (as telegram guy, singing in falsetto): "Congratulaaaaaaations! Congratulaaaaatio— AUUUUUGH!"
- The discussion of the dumb conspiracy theories concerning the Benoit Murder-Suicide; One theory was that Kevin Sullivan was a real Satanist and that he and a bunch of Satanist goons committed a home invasion, murdered the whole family and framed Chris in the process. This leads to Henry as one of the goons... who are all imagined as 95 pound "Goth Kids"... with one of them objecting... a goofy-voiced guy who would rather eat "specialty hot dogs" and go to the Echo & the Bunnymen concert in town.
- Concerning a weird, antisemetic conspiracy theory involving Goldberg, we get Henry as Benoit testifying before Congress on how "The Jews" tried to ruin his weight with latkas... only for him to give them a "thumbs up" for those "tiny hats" because they keep his developing bald spot warm.
- Henry, in his assessment of the Jewish people resilience through the centuries against endless attempts to wipe them out states happily that the Jewish people "...still exist... and they live on Mars!"
- Finally, after Marcus sums up the conspiracy theories drifting around Benoit's murder-suicide, Henry does it again:
- Marcus: At the end of the day, the Chris Benoit case— much like Sandy Hook and other tragedies— is so terrible and so unthinkable that people attach conspiracy theories to it to try to give a simple answer to a complicated question. But the facts remain that Benoit committed a senseless act that was preventable, for which there can be no justification or excuse.Henry (as Benoit): And the only way that we're gonna be able to reverse this horrible tragedy is I'm coming back for WrestleMania 31! They're bringing me back! There, my bones will be versus Goldberg in a one-time only, World Federation Heavyweight event in which my bones will be placed on top of a squirming giant Jewish man, and prevail me once and forever as champion of the WWE!
- The trio then go on to mention a theoretical Benoit vs. Owen Hart match where their skeletons are wired like marionettes and clacked together.
Episode 268: The Philadelphia Experiment
- Doctor Morris Ketchup- erm, Ketchum Jessup.
- Henry reads the first letter from "Carlos Allende"note , who is what you'd get if a Latin Lover and a Conspiracy Theorist had a Cloud Cuckoo Lander baby with bad spelling.
- Marcus then rereads the same Allende letter with less Latin Lover flair and more No Indoor Voice. Ben insists he keep the AYAYAY at the end anyway.
Episode 275: Timothy McVeigh Part II: "Noodle McVeigh"The boys have a lot of fun dunking on Timothy McVeigh in this episode.
- Henry depicts the older woman who took McVeigh's virginity as "Guntha", a woman with a raspy voice and a habit of giving Too Much Information.Henry (as Guntha): Hey there, Noodle, how's you doin'? Can't help but see you seem to trade your daytime shift for a nighttime shift so you can be closer to ol' Guntha. Yeah, they call me Guntha. Ooh, tell me! How'd you get your hair lookin' like it's all at the very top of your head? That's so nice, it's so economical... I bet you fuck good!
Ben: Ugh. She sounds like a woman whose favorite show would be Storage Wars.
Henry: You don't know what's in there! Well, these clearing guys outside, they guessin', but they don't know! That's where the drama is!
Ben (as Timothy): So did you want the Whopper, and what... the onion rings?
Henry: Yeeeahh, I tell you what, you want my onion ring...
Ben: Ma'am, I—
Henry: Unhhhh.... uhhh....
Ben: ...I, I guess I do.
Marcus: Well, McVeigh eventually worked up the courage to ask her over to his dad's house while his dad was at work, and the older woman took li'l Noodle's virginity.
Ben: Ugh. So gross.
Henry (as Guntha): Tell me something. Tell me, do they call you "Noodle" for a reason? I sure hope so. 'Cos I like 'em long and thin!
Ben: Alright! I do not wanna hear this—!
Henry: You can stick it in my key slot! It's just a tiny little hole because they had to stuff up all the rest, 'cos I split it too much when I was riding my scooter around! [Marcus laughs hysterically] I split my vagina up all the way to the top of my bitty-butt, so a doctor had to staple it shut and now I've got a tiny little hole!
Ben: That's— a lot of detail. I don't think we need to go into it any more. I think we've covered her... I think we've covered the most unsavory character we've ever covered: the woman who took Timothy McVeigh's virginity!
Henry: That American hero.
- Henry's impression of McVeigh's Conspiracy Theorist tendencies:Henry (as Timothy): I'll tell you what the first problem is— it's these Jew-clouds! These Jew-clouds are bringing us this Jew-snow! And you know who's not getting out here fast enough? The black snowplowman!
Ben: That might've been something Timothy McVeigh might've thought, because he's anti-Semitic and racist.
Marcus: Yes. Thank you, Ben.
Henry: Thank you, Kissel.
Ben: No problem.
- Even delving into the racist diatribe that is The Turner Diaries gives them time for a few jokes.Marcus: Now, Henry, as our resident expert on The Turner Diaries...
Henry: Good. Good. Yes, keep saying that. Make sure it's recorded.
Marcus: Would you care to elaborate a little bit more on this book, as someone who's actually read this hunk of fucking shit?
Ben: And I also wonder, Henry: How many times did you have to say "I'm doing research!" when people found you reading that book?
Henry: Constantly. Because also, when we're in heavy research mode for the show, it's all I can talk about. So I'm in there, like, talking about The Turner Diaries to people, and I realize that if anybody just turns a corner and I'm in the middle of being like— if I just say anything you could take out of context, like "And they show exactly how to take down the FBI headquarters!"— and then all of a sudden, I'm the one. I'm the fucking problem.
Ben: Stu? Is that Stu!?
Marcus: Not Stu!
Henry: We didn't get to "T" for a reason on A to Z.
- Henry's impression of The Vietnam Vet talking about what people thought the Gulf War would be like— before it proved to be a total Curb-Stomp Battle in favor of the USA.Henry (as Vietnam veteran): Take your worst nightmare. Then quadruple it. Then quadruple it again! And you still won't get to where you'll be this time tomorrow!
Ben: Wait, hold on. Is this a Common Core math question? I am completely confused. I quadruple the quadruple...? What's the number I start with?
Henry (as Vietnam veteran): Let's say what you expect is a two! You're gonna wanna make that into two apples! And then four times that is... that's two, four sets of... I have to draw it! That's Common Core! You gotta draw it, and everything's done in apples!
- The Running Gag of Timothy McVeigh renaming his Bradley IFV "Bad Company" after the song Bad Company, by Bad Company, off of the album... Bad Company. And how he'd play it over and over again on his Walkman. BAAAAAAAD COMPANY!Marcus: It's like, there's this other great band called Pantherman. There's the song "Pantherman", by Pantherman, off of the album Pantherman!
Henry: You won't forget it. Unless you just never, ever, ever think about Pantherman.
Henry: So you mean to tell me that McVeigh was just a DJ from Jack FM?
Ben: Hey, hey, Tim, we all love Bad Company in the troop—
Henry (as Timothy): Baaaaad Company! No I can't deny!
Ben: Yeah, I know. I got this new Metallica song, and we were wondering—
Henry (as Timothy): BAAAAAAAD COMPANY! Till the day I die!
Ben: We were just—
Henry (as Timothy): You know there's only four bands, right? I haven't heard of... I can't have this "Metallica" around here. This is some kinda fake band! There's only four real bands. It's Bad Company; Bad Company's side band Worse Company; Queen; and White Rabbit. I don't even know the name of the band, I just know that one song.
Ben: So we won't be hearing any other music other than "Bad Company", correct?
Henry (as Timothy): BAAAAAAAD COMPANY!
Ben: Okay. Thank you so much for being with us, Tim.
- Henry's impression of Terry Nichols' Filipina mail-order bride, Marife. Complete with accent.Ben: Poor Marife.
Henry (as Marife): Terry... Terry... Can I say plis? I don't like de song "Bad Company".
Ben: Oh my God!
Henry (as Marife): Plis tell— I love Terry; I like being— I love Buffalo; I love hot sauce, it remind me of the Philippine... but plis. No more— no more White Rabbit. He does not even know de name of de band!
Ben (as Timothy): Terry, I love you, man. But you gotta get rid of her! She doesn't like Bad Company!
- After Terry and Marife leave, McVeigh gets into betting on football matches. Namely betting on his favorite team (a bad idea in general): the Buffalo Bills. In the early 90s. Where the Bills lost four consecutive Super Bowls.Ben: You get the feeling Timothy McVeigh, by the last Super Bowl they lost, he'd be like: "It was MATHEMATICALLY IMPLAUSIBLE! How did they lose—!?"
Henry (as Timothy): IT WAS THE JEWISH CABAL THAT DID THIS! DAMN IT, JEWISH CABAL!
- At the very end of the episode, the trio reach a conclusion about Tim:Ben: All right. Well, that was a little insight into the life of Timothy McVeigh. My goodness! What a colossal LOSER.
Henry: You think, after all of this, we could all change his nickname to "Regretti Spaghetti" instead of "Noodle McVeigh"?
Ben: [laughs] "Regretti Spaghetti" McVeigh.
Episode 278: Creepypasta 12: "U-Turn To Madness"
- Bigfoot Erotica. The whole cringy thing, especially the Sasquatch's "U-Turn Penis"!
Episode 285: Norwegian Black Metal Part I: "Chainsaw Gutsfuck"
- The opening where the guys act out a scene of a Henry as a Norwegian Death Metal musician auditioning for a band.Ben (as Band Guy): We're looking for a new lead singer for our band, The Chubby Boys. You are the perfect man.Henry (as Norwegian Metalhead): I cahn only be in yoor bahnd if you spell 'boys' vit two 'I's und a 'Z'.
- Black Metal musicians are described as all looking identical and (among other things) like "skinny marshmallows with eyes", "The Arm" from Twin Peaks and "The Ring Girl" and sounding they live inside a nuclear warhead.
- When discussing the different genres of Metal, the guy's bring up Death Metal and its penchant for gory subject matter, as seen in band and/or song names like "Malignant Defication" and "Regurgitation of Gibblets". They then muse about using these as replacement medical terms. Cue a bit with the "Black Metal Doctor".Henry (as the Black Metal Doctor): "(very serious deadpan tone) Uh, Mr. Anderson, uh, please... please sit down. Is that your wife? Ma'am, I may need to ask you to leave the room."Ben (as patient): "Uh oh."Henry (as the Black Metal Doctor): "... I'm sorry. You have Stage 4 Malignant Defecation."Ben (as patient): "Wow! [Corpsing] You could've lightened it up with a joke or something..."Henry (as the Black Metal Doctor): "No, no, no. I don't laugh. I'm a Black Metal doctor."Ben (as patient): "GODDAMMIT! Why did we even come to you?!"
- Their descriptions of the different genres of Metal and the impressions thereof is hilarious.
- To provide the Ur-Example of Black Metal, the trio play a snippet of Bathory and their song "Hades". Afterwards, they remark that you could just hear George Wendt as the "cranky parent annoyed by his kid's crazy music" (and poking fun at the vocals in the process).[snippet plays]Marcus: And that's just a very very very small taste. Go listen to that entire album, it's fantastic.Ben: It's incredible. You can almost visualize George Wendt as your father knocking on your door and requesting that you turn it down.Henry (as George): "Gah! Ya gotta...Keep it down with that racket!"Henry (as kid, talking in a black-metal style vocal shrieks): "Dad! I'm listening to Bathory!"Henry (as George): "What happened to your voice, son?"Henry (as kid, still in "Death Metal Shriek" voice): "I don't know. I just started singing along to the album and my voice sounds like this now!"Ben: Good Lord! It's like Cyndi Lauper after smoking an entire pack of cigarettes.
- When discussing Mayhem's vocalist Per "Dead" Ohlin, Marcus mentions that his name comes from the fact that he believed he was dead and was "in a dream that he would soon wake up from". Henry follows that up with a very... special impression of Dead.Henry: "Ze only thing zat I can hope for is that one day I vake up in the bedroom of a nobleman, as a beautiful nude illuminated boy. Because deep inside of me, somewhere... that is vat I'm trying to find this in my music-- is the wonderful, innocent, nude illuminated boy zat is inside every mind."
Ben: Your name is Dead.
Henry: "It's pronounced DEED!"
Ben: Ohhh! I see.
- Right after the above, they bring up the speculation that "Dead", like serial killer Richard Chase, had Cotard's Syndrome. Ben asks a single question: "What if Richard Chase learned how to play a musical instrument?" This opens the floodgates to Henry as "Richard Chase: Musician", which boils down to "screeching Mickey Mouse with No Indoor Voice".Henry!Chase: "HEY EVERYONE! WELCOME TO MY SHOW! I GO THOUGH A LOT OF HORSESHIT DAY TO DAY; I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL, BUT MY EYEBALLS ARE ON BACKWARDS! COULD YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL GOOD!? YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL AT HOME!?"Ben: This is the best.Henry!Chase: "OKAY! AND A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR— (singing) ~IIIII LOVE MICKEY MOUSE, HE'S MY FRIEND~..."Henry: He's, like, totally "at home", totally fine.Ben: I love it!
- The whole discussion of the ancient Norse myth of "The Wild Hunt", where Odin and the departed souls (played by rowdy young guys speaking in falsetto and wearing white face paint, thus possibly influencing Black Metal) would come to Earth and raise havoc and mischief over the Nordic countryside. Ben and the guys get a kick out of ancient Norse Wacky Fratboy Hijinx like (among other things) drinking all the beer in barrels and replacing it with urine and putting "he-goats" in the hearths.
- This ancient custom then leads to Henry singing in happy, Disneyesque, sing-songy falsetto (as the others corpse like idiots).Henry!Wild Hunt Reveler: ~"Iiiiiii hope that none of you can sleep because we are heeeere! Just me and a horse and a dog and a crow and myyyy good friend, Wooooden! IIIII am Wo-den, highest voice of aallll! Iiiiii am Wo-den, aaalll of you will fall to the hands of Woden~!"Ben: Eeyup! And that correlates perfectly to the first time that the sentence was ever uttered in Norway— "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
- This ancient custom then leads to Henry singing in happy, Disneyesque, sing-songy falsetto (as the others corpse like idiots).
- Despite the Black Metal guys in this story portraying themselves as being these rebellious, independent, super-evil badasses, many of them are still very close to and beholden to their families... especially their mothers and grandmothers. Euronymous got flack from bandmates for wearing a white sweater to band practice and explained that he wore it for his grandma, who he visited that day. Euronymous' record store (Helvete, which is Norwegian for 'Hell') was also funded by his parents, something the trio find extremely humorous.Henry (as Euronymous): "VELCOME TO HELL! All of you come, velcome, velcome to Hell. Please just... Don't any of you put the spiked pants on any of zee schtools! My mom's still got just a down payment on it! I haf to get a couple of payments in— No, no, please do not put any pig's blood on any of zees couches! My mom just put a down payment on all zees theengs! I do not own all of zees theengs!"
Episode 286: Norwegian Black Metal Part II: "Orc Urinal"
- Varg Vikernes' first band, "Old Funeral" is the subject of much mockery.
- At one point, The Ramones are compared to Guy Fieri.WELCOME TO FLAAAAAAVORTOWWWWN! DOOH-DUH-DEEP-DESPAIR! DOOH-DUH-DEEP GRAVY! IT'S GRAVYYYYY!
- The origin of the episode's name is hilarious: in the middle of discussing the influence of The Lord of the Rings on Varg and his music, and how Varg thinking the Elves are "stereotypically Jewish" is wrong, the discussion gets flipped to Liv Tyler.Ben: Now where does Liv Tyler come into this? Because I thought she was wonderful in those movies.
Henry (as Varg): All the guys in the band, all they wanted to say was, "Ooh! I wanna bang Liv Tyler, Queen of the Elves! Please put me in the Forever Place with Liv Tyler! Wouldn't that be amazing?" And I said, "No! Put me in Mordor! That's where everything that's cool is happening! Give me a King Kong arcade game— that's the one American thing I like— and you put it in the main hall of Mordor, next to the bathroom so I don't have to wait behind all those stinky Orcs! So I can play my game and use the bathroom freely, as a free man!
Ben: "Orc Bathroom"... that sounds more disgusting than Woodstock '99. "The Orc Bathroom Situation"— I don't ever wanna think about it again!
Marcus: And even that's a better name for a band than Old Funeral! "Orc Bathroom"!
Ben: Orc Bathroom's a great name for a band!
Henry: Orc Bathroom's a good name for a fucking band! That's pretty sweet! Orc Urinal!
- While delving into the origins of Varg's nom de plume, "Count Grishnakh", the trio take a quick look at the lore of Lord of the Rings. Somehow, it leads to them guessing which race they'd be in the world of Middle-Earth. Ben, being tall, is an Ent ("one specific tree named 'Bent', who just sits off to the side getting hammered and telling the other trees what to do"); Henry, who is short and hairy, is a Hobbit; and Marcus, who's tall and fair, is an Elf. Henry, ever the conspiracy theory connoisseur, quickly comes to the expected conclusion:
Episode 287: Norwegian Black Metal Part III: "This Laughable Society"
- The murders of Euronymous and Magne Andreassen aren't funny. What is funny is Henry's takes on "Faust", the impressions of the female jogger who discovered Magne's body note , a female hanger-on the police questioned, and the girl who forged a threatening letter from Euronymous. They all sound like over-the-top Swedish Chef people speaking English.
- The impression of Gaahl (of the band Gorgoroth), a scary guy who once tortured a guy who he saw as a Jerkass but who also comes off as a bit of a badass note . He was made to sound like a Scandinavian WWE wrestler cutting a promo... and, being Manly Gay, finding the murder of Andreassen distasteful. He also apparently gives Satan the most EVIL blow job of all time note .
- Henry (as Gaahl): "TIME ME!" [slurping noises]
- While delving into the murder of Mayhem's Euronymous, Henry pulls up a document he found online that he claims will explain just what happened in Euronymous' apartment on that night. It turns out to be an explicit Varg/Euronymous Slash Fic.Ben: What on Earth did we just listen to!?
- The fanfic itself describes Euronymous as looking like a "lame KISS impersonator". At one point, one of them leaves the room with "I'll be back" which Henry pronounces like an over-the-top Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
- Henry continues reading excepts of the XXX slashfic porn just to bug them (and one of the charaters has a '4 inch thick cock'. Not '4 inch circumference'— 4 inches.)
- The fanfic itself describes Euronymous as looking like a "lame KISS impersonator". At one point, one of them leaves the room with "I'll be back" which Henry pronounces like an over-the-top Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
Episode 288: Robert Pickton Part I: "Pig Sense"
- The murderer's farm-boy upbringing gets compared to Marcus'.Marcus: The rumor is, when Willie got upset or got in trouble, he'd burrow into the butchered carcass of a hog until he felt better again.Henry: How is this different than you, Marcus?
Episode 289: Robert Pickton Part II: "La Costra Pigstra"
- Starting from the end of this episode, Henry starts a Running Gag of ironically pushing the "Illuminati Clone" conspiracy by Donald Marshall, even trying to fit it into the Pickton story. It's obvious that he's merely being a troll, but he talks like someone who's wholly convinced, as is his way. Ben even muses about cutting off his internet.
- It actually starts earlier in the episode, when Henry talks about him diving into the conspiracy angle behind Robert Pickton's murders. He explains that the moment he read the phrase "And that's when I knew Robert wasn't killing clones of me", he immediately realized "Oh, this guy's insane."
Episode 291: Robert Pickton: Part IV: "Out To Lunch"
- Henry mentions having obtained an extremely rare copy of the book Robert Pickton: In His Own Words (which was only on sale for five days on Amazon before the Canadian government took it down), where Pickton explains his own account of the murders. Henry claims that this is one of the more taxing things he has ever read, even more so than the Scientology documents and The Turner Diaries...because Pickton is an atrocious writer:Henry: [as Pickton] "There I dispersed from the specific area and feeling a whole lot better of the whole process, I decided to stop at this convenience store that is just up from the Purchase to Hastings indicating that the site location is on the left hand side where the store is facing onto Hastings Street. There I have bought myself a light snack, that involves a filled donut, one liter of 2% chocolate milk, and a packet of plain potato chips to munch on while I continued to overdrive my own tiredness so that I could proceed on driving homebound. But holding to my homeward route, as playing with the supported speech 'killing two birds with the same stone' and being in Vancouver, which I am going on the onside location where Ms. Georgina Dickins works the Shell service station located on the junction of Powell Street and I would desperately like to talk to her in person..."Henry: We haven't even gotten to it! This is just one paragraph.
- In over the top Canadian accents, the guys mocking investigators's failure to immediately test ground meat found in freezers, then waiting two years before issuing a public health warning despite discovering human remains mixed with that pork and knowledge Pickton distributed a large amount of meat to the market.Ben: (as investigator) Now people of Coquitlam and Port Coquitlam, now I hate to break it to ya, now that lovely sausage you've been enjoying, uh...It's just sausage. (aside) We're not gonna ruin this for them.Henry: And you can just see him be like, "And now, I just wanna to say, in unity with the people of Port Coquitlam, I will now eat this human foot. I don't know where we got this foot. I'm not asking questions, right? Right, Sergeant Lansky? No questions asked. Now, I am gonna eat this foot so I will also know what it's like. (chomping) Honestly, it's quite good."
- Marcus expertly puts down Henry's Illuminati Clone Running Gag when discussing why the judge on Pickton's trial made the decisions he did.Henry: Donald. Marshall.(Laughter from Ben)
Episode 295: Black Widows Part I: "The Polish Prognosticator"
- Early in the episode, Marcus brings up H.H. Holmes as the closest male equivalent to Black Widow killers. As soon as Minnie and Nanny Williams get mentioned, Henry proceeds to do his "I'm Minnie and I'm Nanny" bit from the Holmes episodes, but does it completely deadpan. This then prompts Ben to go full ham and do the routine properly and Henry quickly joins in.
Episode 297: The Lost Continent of Lemuria
- The real reason the name of Churchward's mystical guru is lost to time:"They call me Ice Cream!"
- Ben's subsequent response:
Episode 300: Jonestown Part I: "Everyone in the World is My Friend"
- One early sign of Jones not being right is his admiration for Adolf Hitler, to the point where he'd pretend to be Hitler leading a group of Nazis played by some younger kids. Ben remarks that this sounds like a really weird Peanuts strip, causing Henry to pipe up with "Peanutzis?"
- The trio discovering Jones' career as a salesman of spider monkeys sends them into hysterics. Double so when Marcus plays a clip from Jonestown where one of the former members talks about her grandmother going to Jones for another monkey because her previous one had hanged itself.
- Henry notes that that monkey must have gone through a lot "for it to learn eternal despair".
Episode 301: Jonestown Part II: "Sidestep and Bullshit"
- At one point Henry descriibes Jim Jones as a "Sam the Eagle-looking motherfucker."
- This episode features moments where Henry, who is known for Admiring the Abomination, stands up for Ray Kroc's business practices, as depicted in The Founder, against Ben and Marcus.Marcus: I had no idea you were such an evil capitalist!Henry: [laughs evilly]
Episode 302: Jonestown Part III: "Check Please"
- Jones' excuse for wearing sunglasses all the time is that he'd achieved such a holy state so powerful that if he looked at someone else unfettered, the holy energy emanating from his eyes would hurt anyone he looked at. Ben compares Jones to Cyclops, "but instead of flames, it's amphetamines flying from his eyes into his audience's face".
- The faith healings involve tricks with chicken guts to stand in for cancerous tumors. If anyone got too close to them, the People's Temple would have to quickly gobble it up. Now, what sort of person would do this? Henry has an idea:Henry: Hi there, Mr. Jones! I'll do it!Henry (as Jim Jones): Sure thing, Johnny Garbage!Henry (as Johnny Garbage): There's nothing I like better than something that's stinky and falls on the ground!Henry (as Jim Jones): That's alright— Get away from me, Johnny Garbage! We all hate you! You got one purpose, and that's why you're part of a socialist society. We've given you a purpose!Ben: That's a big purpose, gobbling up the chicken guts. In a socialist society? Big-time stuff!
- Jim Jones' favorite word to attack dissenters? "Bourgeois". Henry takes the ball and runs with it by using a stereotypical French accent.Ben: Bourgeois... does that mean they wanna have any kind of amenities in their life whatsoever?Marcus: Hey, man. You didn't like eat oatmeal for breakfast and peanut butter for lunch every day? Bourgeois.Henry: Bourgeois pig! Zat's what you are!Ben: How does that make me bourgeois!?Marcus: Don't like shitting in front of other people? Bourgeois.Henry: Bourgeois pig! Eh, de revolution will take you down!Ben: I just don't want to feel like Charles Manson taking a bath!Marcus: Don't wanna have sex with Jim Jones?Ben: No!Marcus: Bourgeois~!Ben: WHAT!?Henry: Eyyyyyy, you, stinky butt! You got shit all over ze fazzeir's dick! How dare you! You know 'e likes a clean dipstick when 'e pulls eet oot, so that he can put it in his weef and 'e doesn't get any shit in ze pussay!Ben: Well, you know what? I actually feel better for the first time. I am part of the bourgeoisie.
- Jonestown's chimpanzee mascot, Mr. Muggs, brings a lot of laughs.
Henry (as Mr. Muggs): Run, children, run. Save yourselves. Save Muggs. Save Muggs the monkey. Get monkey into police car.
- Henry portrays Jonestown's chimpanzee mascot, Mr. Muggs, as having a Congo-style voicebox installed in him. The first lines of Henry's Mr. Muggs impression portray him as the Only Sane Man amidst the growing madness in Jonestown.
Henry (as Mr. Muggs): Why are you wearing sunglasses inside? You are frightening me. Please stop trying to make love to me! I will not douche! I will not douche!Ben (as Jim Jones): Hey, uh... why don't you shut up, Mr. Muggs? Just shut up.
- The cover story for Mr. Muggs is that Jim Jones saved him from a laboratory (in reality, he was bought from a pet store). Henry has different ideas as to why he did it:
Henry: So, you mean to tell me they allowed a chimp to run an entire television show? And was it just cancelled because it tore Raquel Welch's face off and they're like "We've got to figure out a way to put it back on"?Ben: Can you just imagine Ed McMahon getting slam-wasted with that monkey?Henry: "I tell you what, this chimp makes a lot of sense when he talks about immigration."
- Then, the three get sidelined by a discussion on Mr. Muggs' namesake, The Tonight Show's chimp mascot Jayfred Muggs. Henry is astounded that they let a chimp on stage— even more so that they gave him his own spin-off.
Henry (as Mr. Muggs): I'll never tell what happened here.Ben: Oh, man!Henry: And then they shot him like Che Guevara.Ben: Oh! Just let him go in the forest!Marcus: They absolutely could have! There were no chimps there, but... you know, like, those forests in Jonestown were full of monkeys. They said that was actually— in the mornings were their roosters.Henry: That's terrifying. "Monkeys are our roosters". Like— [imitating a monkey] AAAHHHHHHH! AAAHHHAAHHHH!Ben: Time to make the donuts!
- Even Mr. Muggs' tragic end gets a humorous portrayal.
- Marcus compares Jones breaking the rules for his cult to Animal Farm's "Some animals are more equal than others". Ben comments "The book, huh?" Hilarity Ensues as Ben deliberately misses the point the whole way through and confuses the book with Charlotte's Web.Henry: D-you-!? God, you must have been such a difficult high school English student!Marcus: What did you think of Animal Farm, Ben? I just wanna know.Ben: Love pigs!Henry: That's not an opinion on the book.Ben: No—! Animal Farm... Charlotte with the web...Henry: You're talking about Charlotte's Web!Marcus: You don't know what Animal Farm is, do you?Henry: Didn't you get a degree in Political Science!? It's like the book!Ben: We don't read books about pigs.Henry: IT'S NOT A BOOK ABOUT PIGS! It's not Babe!Marcus: That's, like, 8th grade Political Science. It's Animal Farm.[laughter]Ben: Are people in the book?Henry: No! It's Animal Farm!Marcus: There's a couple of people in the book, but—Ben: So it's all lies. Because animals don't have political parties.Henry: Oh my God... Oh my God.Ben: Is it an analogy for something?Marcus: Yes. It's an allegory.Henry: "Some animals are more equal than others."Ben: All I know is...Marcus: "All animals are equal, but some animals—"Ben: I don't care what the spider is spelling. I hate the web. Get it outta here!Henry: (snickering) I'm mad. I'm mad that he doesn't know.Ben: No... I— No, I know the book.
- Even the forced boxing matches between cult members has room for a few jokes.
Henry (as Mr. Muggs): I don't want to hurt you, but I will. Look at what I did to Raquel Welch!
- The idea of someone going up against Mr. Muggs, who is very reluctant.
Henry: You were saying the other day, that you had the idea that they were to fight and fight until they get up to Jim Jones himself— and then it's like Mike Tyson's Knock-Out.Ben: Yeahhhhh! Boss level! You know what to do! Did Jim Jones fight himself?Henry: No. If you knocked his sunglasses off, he could kill you with the power of his gaze!
- While the original idea was to have the cult member being punished fight person after person until they lose, the trio imagines it a bit differently:
Episode 307: Casey Anthony Part II: "The Dancing Belvins"
- The title comes from the name of the judge presiding over the trial, Judge Belvin. Ben imagines a late night spoof called "The Dancing Belvins", which tickles Henry.
- Henry tells a story of a court spectator, allegedly Casey Anthony's co-worker at a TGI Friday's, who was surreptitiously throwing the finger at the prosecution and got fined for contempt of court. That's not the funny part - the funny part was the fifteen minutes Judge Belvin spent chewing the guy out.
- Ben finally zeroes in on what the prosecutions big mistake was... not handing out $25 Applebees gift cards in their closing statement.
Episode 310: Rasputin Part I: "Greg Drunk"
- The episode's title comes from the rumour started by Rasputin's enemies that his surname was a corruption of the Russian word for "debaucherous". Henry immediately latches onto this and decides his English name is "Greg Drunk", despite Marcus' attempts to dispel the myth.
Episode 311: Rasputin Part II: "Agrarian"
- Henry admits to having studied for this episode the same way he studied for high school history. A Running Gag starts here in which he lapses into rattling off random terms like he's delivering a presentation to the class. "Agrarian" being one of them.
- Ben desperately searches for a nickname Rasputin would give him. With Henry's help, he becomes "Long Fuck".
- The trio imagine Rasputins reaction to travelling by first class train after spending years doing so on foot. "Ooh, cupholders!"
- The introduction of the Duchesses of Monte Negro, aka the "Black Pearls", leads Henry to divulge a little Too Much Information about his hygienic habits, much to the disgust of the others.Ben: You're like a dog!
Episode 312: Rasputin Part III: "The Rise of Rasputin"
- The Running Gag of Henry barking whenever Ilidor is mentioned, due to Marcus referring to him as a "mad dog".
- "Rasputin wiggled his dick free..." Cue Corpsing from all parties.
- Ben's resigned tone of voice when he declares:
Episode 317: Dennis Nilsen Part I: "Orientation In Me"
- The title ('Orientation In Me') refers to a chapter in Nilsen's autobiography, History of a Drowning Boy and the hosts recite the snooty title in the snootiest way imaginable. Ben also thinks it sounded like some weird College course..."What's your Major?" "Orientation In Me".
- Henry is baffled by the fact that many described Nilsen as "shockingly handsome", disagreeing with them strongly and stating that Nilsen◊ looked "sallow" and like "a skeleton covered in Play-Doh".
- Henry's over-the-top impression of Nilsen. A pretentious Byronic Hero wannabe and proto-Goth with a hyper-dramatic Large Ham persona; Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, a thick Scotireland accent and Trilling Rs ensue. It's like if Lucky The Leprachaun note decided to be an angtsy poetry-writing Emo Teen. note .
- The guys bursting out into their impressions of Goth music and Scottish bagpipe music. Later on, as mention is made of Nilsen's mother being really into going clubbing, Henry combines his impression of bagpipes with stereotypical club music to create what they think club music in Scotland sounds like.Henry (as Deejay): "...WADDUP WADDUP! IT'S NINE-TEEN SEV-EN-TY THREEEEEEE!..."
- The guy describing an ancestor of Nilsen's who tried drowning himself. Cue the silliness involving a Violent Glaswegian attempting to drown himself by drinking a glass of water and being baffled as to why he's not drowning and dying.
- About Nilsen's bloated Door Stopper of an autobiography "History Of A Drowning Boy" being mentioned. Cue "Dennis" quoting Pee-Wee Gaskins' catchphrase "And that's is my final truth!"Henry!Nilsen: "Let me get my quill, and the story shall begin. And thus began... the FEE-NAL TRUTH!"
- The Saga of Grandpa's "Magic Sponge". When little Dennis would play outside and hurt himself, his beloved Grandpa would dab him with "the magic sponge". Upon grandpa's death note and after a joke about using Grandpa's body Weekend at Bernie's-style, the guys joke about Kid-Dennis whipping out the "magic sponge" to bring Grandpa back to life.Henry!Nilsen: "What I heard is that if I play with Grandpa's 'magic sponge', we can find out if he's alive or not."
- Dennis Nilsen being an Unreliable Narrator and his constant retconning of his family note . Also, Nilsen described his young soldier self as "the life of the party" that everyone adored... whereas every account from former fellow soldiers describe an annoying, perverted weirdo with a stinky pet turtle and terrible personal hygiene note .
- The "Magic Sponge" makes a final appearance in relation to the painting "The Raft of the Medusa" which Nilsen was enthralled with note .Henry: Yep. Just him note , this young dead boy, and his magic sponge just sit around, waiting for Medusa to turn them all into stone.
- Dennis once passed out with an obese, unattractive German called "Fat Hans" (and started fantasizing about Hans molesting him). Henry portrays Hans as basically Augustus Gloop.
- Among Dennis' other odd and annoying antics, he would pretend to be passed out naked in the hope that a soldier would get tempted and molest him (see previous entry on 'Fat Hans'). Henry portrays the soldiers as not buying it one bit.Henry (as Nilsen): "Oh! My butthole is exposed! It would be such a tragedy if something were to... happen... to it." [starts audibly snoring][...]Henry (as soldier): "Uh... Whaddaya doin', Dennis?"Henry (as Nilsen): "I'm playing the "Vase Game". Wouldn't it be a terrible, terrible series of circumstances, if someone put several formed flowers in my buttocks... as I'm sitting here, exposed, waiting to be pranked?"Ben: That would be kinda wild.
- One of Nilsen's weird sex fantasies involved him being a dead French WW2 resistance fighter who gets found by a necrophile old hermit. Among other things, the Hermit talks to the corpse like an old friend...In this case, discussing the Netflix documentary Wild Wild Country (about the Rajneesh cult in Oregon in The '70s).Henry (as Hermit): "...Sheela was the brains of that operation..."
- After a long vivid description of Nilsen's weird "Dead Young Soldier Molested By Old Hermit" fantasy (and the elaborate ritual involving cosplay and a long mirror that it entailed) we immediately hear the guys as a bunch of fellow soldiers banging on Nilsen's door demanding dinner because it's dinner time at the barracks.
- The guy's reactions (Mostly bemusement, being puzzled or WTF?) to Dennis Nilsen's often-odd / niche taste in music note . The guys state that Nilsen's pre-murders room-mate, David "Twinkle" Gallichan, hated it and would rather listen to the Bay City Rollers.
- Of note is young teen solder Nilsen being a HUGE fan of the novelty tune "They're Coming To Take Me Away!" by Napoleon XIV (whom he named his pet turtle after). He would play it repeatedly until everyone was as insane as the character in the song. The guys erroneously think of Nilsen as a Dr. Demento fan.
- At the end of Part One, when the guys remind us with good advice to seek psychiatric help if we ever have issues "upstairs" by saying, "Don't be a Nilsen".Henry: "Don't be a Nilsen...Be a Wilson...Willie Nelson..."
Episode 318: Dennis Nilsen Part II: "A Thin Strand Of Humanity"
- There's a brief Call-Back to the McVeigh episode when one of them asks if Dennis listened to Bad Company.
- Henry's take on the a few of Nilsen's music-fueled murders and the aftermath (mostly due to the the Nilsen impression and the insanity of it all). The murder of Kenneth Ockenden was a real-life situation straight out of The Tell-Tale Heart— only with a Disco version of "The Flight Of The Bumblebee" in the place of the beating heart. The guys then imagine the neighbors hearing the commotion and ignoring it by watching TV. Which, according to the guys, in 1970s Britain apparently consisted of literally one channel that showed a man playing a cymbal.
- As part of Nilsen's system of body disposal, he would remove the body's insides, first, and dump them outside "...for the wee beasties of the night". Cue Henry dreaming up a new character... a chipper, well-spoken chap called "Phil; The Wee Beastie Of The Night" who eats the viscera.Henry (as Phil): "'Allo! I'm Phil the wee beastie o' the night..."
- Nilsen's big Refuge in Audacity moment where he burned his victims remains in the back yard in broad daylight while playing the The Exorcist theme (also known as Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield) on his stereo.*The below exchange as we hear Tubular Bells play*Ben (As Neighbor): "Whatcha doin' over there, neighbor?! How are ya?!"Henry (As Nilsen): "I'm burning up several BODIES! B'WAAAHAHAAHH!..."Ben (As Neighbor): "Alright. Wanna make s'mores?"Henry (As Nilsen): "Oh you shouldn't because of all the burning...BODIES...I have in this fire! B'WAAHAHAHAA!"
- The guys surmising that the Polaroid camera company stayed in business for so long due to Serial Killers apparently being their biggest customers.
- The plumber who discovered the remains in the sewer is portrayed in the most line-crossing fashion by Henry as a coarse, foul-mouthed, coprophiliac Cockney man (the same character in another role shows up again in the 'Enfield Poltergiest' episode when the haunt takes a scatological turn)note .
- Henry reads one of Nilsen's overblown poems in the end, complete with echoing voice and dramatic music.
Episode 320: Biggie and Tupac Part I: Sugar Bear
- The early confrontations between the Bloods and the Crips were noted as being extremely goofy, to the point that a time-out had to be called on a gang brawl so that both sides could help the DJ pack his stuff... and then the moment he left, the fighting picked right back up.
- Ben becomes immediately enamored by the Dr Dre-produced song "Monster Rappin'".
- The increasingly ridiculous saga of Tupac being terrible with guns.
- The short-lived introduction of the Bunkum Bell, which Henry claims to ring every time he hears bunkum.
Episode 321: Biggie and Tupac Part II: Scuttled
- The episode opens with Henry trying to make a Bloods gang sign. Ben tells him that he just signed "bread" instead.
- Henry compares Russell Poole's descent into conspiracy madness to Philip K. Dick writing the VALIS trilogy as a response to his own deteriorating mental state. This is met with much incredulity by Ben.
Episode 322: Biggie and Tupac Part III: The Murders
- When describing how Wardell Poochie Fouse was allegedly ordered to murder William Rat Ratcliffe just for pestering Suge Knight in a bathroom, Henry takes Rats punny nickname to heart and imagines the guy pitching songs about cheese.
- This episode provides a few zingers from Henry in quick succession as they cover the circumstances behind Biggies murder:
- After Marcus points out how useless eyewitness accounts are, he takes on the role of an eyewitness claiming Biggie was killed by a twelve-foot tall liquorice monster.
- One of the guys in the Toyota Land Cruiser that tried to cut into Biggies caravan was a screenwriter who wanted to make a movie of Biggies life. Henry takes on the role and pitches a movie where Biggie is a dinosaur, which Ben enthusiastically approves of.
- Orlandos alleged bragging of killing Tupac leads to Henry confessing that he is the ghost that inspired the Twitter series Dear David. The kicker is that Marcus and Ben have no idea what hes talking about at first.
- Henry leans into the whole Tupac is Alive conspiracy with such gusto that Marcus cant control his laughter at points. It leads to a back-and-forth between them near the end of the episode, with Marcus playing the debunker and Henry parodying the average conspiracy theorist by screaming YOURE WRONG!.
Episode 324: The Men in Black Episode II: "Pig Transport"
- In what will become a continuing controversy on the show, Henry accuses Ben of...loving Bud Light Lime.Henry: Kissel likes the taste of Bud Light Lime.
Ben: I don't drink Bud Light Lime! No, you started this lie -
Henry: He enjoys the taste of it, which is a mystery -
Ben: That's a Tulpa! That is a Tulpa! They are conjuring up images of me with Bud Light Limes - it's not happening!
Henry: I will always remember this sentence - I will always remember you sucking on a tallboy of Bud Light Lime, going, "It's like a margarita, except they got it in a can!"
Ben: No, you fucking dick -
Marcus: And then - oh my god - and then after you said that they started selling margaritas in a can! So, that means that you, very possibly, through your love of Bud Light Lime -
Ben: I don't like - or love - or even DRINK Bud Light Lime! It tastes like poison!
Henry: Someone doth protest too much...
Episode 325: The Men in Black Episode III: "Time Crime"
- Henry's vision of the Men in Black "Time Cops" theory.Marcus: Pretty soon after that pig got slaughtered, the Men in Black showed up. Now, could it be that slaughtering that prized pig had some sort of ripple effect on time? That something in that pig's future could have set off a chain of events that could affect someone millions of years in the future? Was the pig a time fulcrum?
Ben: It was a time pig!
Henry: It was a time pig. And then it cuts to the year 3,000,000, Donald Trump's head's in a big floating glass jar like in Futurama, with his big floating robot dick, and that pig was supposed to be his wife.
Ben: Oh, man. Time pig!
Henry: Time pig! I love time cops, by the way. I love the whole theory. Cuts to, also, them back - you know who's a part of the whole crew? Rasputin.
Episode 328: Richard Kuklinski Part III: "The Fall of the Iceman"
- Henry develops a Sitcom Arch-Nemesis-style hatred for Pat Kane, the detective who masterminded Richard's capture, and mockingly depicts him as a cartoonish goody-two-shoes on several occasions despite Marcus trying to correct him.Henry: He thinks he's better than my father!
Episode 331: The Donner Party Part I: "Salt of the Earth"
- Henry reads a letter from one of his ancestors, who was on the wagon trains. It's another Zebrowki special:We are excited to see Mexicans and are assured by many that they do not have horns and poison sacs, like some of the older members of our party have read in scientific papers.
- Henry also rattles off the many, many, many awful ways in which children died on wagon trains. At some point, it stops being tragic and horrifying and becomes hilarious.
- It also has to be explained to Ben that wandering off into the grass was a very real danger and that meeting a coyote out there wouldn't end the same way as The Jungle Book:Henry: It's like if Mowgli was a skeleton.
- It also has to be explained to Ben that wandering off into the grass was a very real danger and that meeting a coyote out there wouldn't end the same way as The Jungle Book:
- The Bonesplitter shows up to perform surgery on an injured boy, and is very dejected when he gets paid and sent away."I'll guess I'll just go hack off a bunch of feet of cows. It's actually pretty nice. Kind of like a little methadone!"
Episode 332: The Donner Party Part II: "The Forlorn Hope"
- Marcus and Ben cant resist making digs at Charles Stantons fatal flaw— he was short. Henry, who is touchy about his size, isnt amused, and at one point is silently seething in mock fury as Marcus and Ben howl with uncontrollable laughter.
- Henry and Ben's uncontrollable glee when Marcus finally says "That's when the cannibalism started," a line that's been in the podcast's intro for almost all of its run.
- Marcus exasperation at their glee only adds to the hilarity.
Episode 340: Peter Kürten Part II: "Dr. Chuckles"
- A particularly bad moment of Insane Troll Logic from Ben regarding the adage "A broken clock is right twice a day" drives Henry utterly insane. Now animated!Ben: A clock is right four times a day! If you think about the minute hand and the second hand. Thank you. [laughter] The minute hand and the hour hand and the second hand, it can be right six times a day!
Henry: No, Kissel. No. I'm, like, literally about to start crying blood.
Ben: If you think about the hour hand—
Henry: THEY ARE NOT TWO SEPARATE—! No, asshole! No no no no! You can't just say—
Ben: So, it can be right six times a day.
Henry: You are incorrect! You are thinking about a clock completely wrong! A time is the coordination of the minute hand and hour hand—!
Marcus: All three of them. The minute, hour, and second.
Henry: So it can only be right twice!
Ben: But individually, they can also be correct.
Marcus: Well, no. That would mean it would be correct 24 times in a day.
Marcus: Because if you're only counting the minute hand...
Ben: No, I'm not just counting the minute hand.
Henry: I want. To retire. From the podcast.
Ben: Well, Henry, wait a couple of years and then you can get whatever clock you want. I mean, I don't know what kind of—
Henry: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
Ben: Maybe you wanna get a clock that's right more than two times a day.
Henry: Oh God! Oh God!
- In a rather darkly humorous fashion, the boys are astounded by Peter Kürtens reaction to his wifes horror when he confessed his crimes. Being The Sociopath, he responded not with guilt, but with annoyance that Augusta was making a fuss about it. The trio wonder just what the hell he had been expecting to happen.Henry (As Kürten): Ive done something very silly. I ought not to have told you.Ben: That was the silly part?!
Episode 344: The Book of Revelation
- Henry reading one of the names of God in an alternate apocalyptic account, which is just a long unbroken string of vowels.
- After Marcus reads the passage on how Jesus will ride forth on a horse named "Faithful and True" while shooting swords from his mouth, Henry starts singing "Cruel Angel's Thesis".
Episode 345: Hangmen and Headsmen
- Henry's Sitcom Arch-Nemesis-style contempt for Eddie Redmayne, leading to his impression of the actor as bumbling executioner John Thrift.
- "No, no, you don't understand, the reason I'm always so nervous is... I am gay."
Episode 346: Mark Twitchell Part I: "Favourite Duck of the Month"
- The trio get to sample a clip of Twitchell's pitch for the comedy Day Players, a blatant rip-off of Extras. None of them particularly enjoy it.Henry: Blow my fucking brains out!
- Many jokes, in fact, are made of how much of an unoriginal hack Twitchell was, with so much of his stuff being taken from somewhere else it causes Henry to start screaming in fury.
- The case itself, despite the murder, is pretty hilarious when it comes to Twitchell, himself, his hubris and his habit of not being able to hide ANY evidence.
Episode 347: Mark Twitchell Part II: "Some Kinda Ketchup Party"
- The episode's name comes from Joss, the guy who Twitchell dumped Altingers red Mazda on without cleaning the evidence first. Henry makes the joke that Joss saw the bloodstains on the cars bumper and assumed it was ketchup.
- Marcus' growing glee as he describes Twitchell being fooled by a fake online persona, the same way he lured in his own victims, leading to the amazingly cathartic scene of him being jumped by a white van full of tactical officers on the way to the alleged meet-up.Henry: (joyful glee) GOTCHA, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
Episode 348: Josef Mengele Part I: "The Birth of Eugenics"
- Henry opening the episode by declaring that every time he sees Mengele, his brain immediately starts playing Mengele's name sung to the chorus of "Panama".
Episode 349: Josef Mengele Part II: "The Crimes of Mengele"
- This episode is so dark with the crimes of Mengele at Auschwitz that Marcus explains that, when things get too heavy, he'll be trotting out random Home Improvement trivia. Over the course of the episode the hosts are stunned to learn that the original planned name for Al Borland was "Glen Borland" and the German title of the show translates to Listen to Who's Hammering.
Episode 350: Josef Mengele Part III: "The Hunt"
- The episode opens with Henry explaining that there was one specific thing about the last episode that's still haunting him: Glen Borland. His impression of what a Glen Borland character would sound like ends up being a toned-down, more pedophilic Richard Chase.
Episode 351: Ouija
- In a tweet advertising the episode, there's a Ouija board in the bottom left corner of the video playing a clip from the episode. Watch the planchette move across the board as the video plays, and you can see it spell out D-I-C-K-B-U-T-T.
- Towards the end of the episode, the hosts describe a pair of incidents in which Coast to Coast AM attempted to do a Ouija reading live on the air. This, of course, brings out Henry's George Noory impression, asking ghosts and cryptids what kind of hat they would wear if they wore hats (according to Ben, the answer is G-R-E-E-N). On top of that, strange incidents, such as multiple blackouts, that occurred during the first Ouija attempt causes the show to back out of a second, larger reading because they realized if they went through with it, they would become The Scapegoat for every bad thing that would ever happen afterward.
Episode 354: Skinwalker Ranch Part III: "The Investigation"
- Henry envisions the giant hyena-boar-fox-dog creature from Skinwalker Ranch as Bunko the Everything Dog.Henry (as Bunko): I wish somebody'd come and pet me once, but everybody says I'm the scariest thing they've ever seen.
Episode 357: Joseph Kallinger Part II: 'The Perfect Waiter"
- Ben is incredulous that, of all the times Marcus might pick to plug something, he decides to plug The Story Must Be Told after describing one of Kallinger's vivid hallucinations in which a man unknowingly eats the remains of his wife and her friends. Marcus justifies the plug by noting the description of the hallucination fits right in with the other show's storytelling style.
Episode 358: The Electric Chair
- Marcus lets slip that he's been listening to "Hot Pipes", a podcast entirely about pipe organ music. Ben and Henry have to be convinced the show is real and then proceed to mock Marcus about it throughout the rest of the episode.Henry: It sounds like the name of a restaurant that only serves logs of shit!
Episode 369: Bonnie and Clyde Part I: "Once You Go Short"
- Henry disputes the way Marcus pronounces Cumie Barrows name at the start of the episode:Youre saying "Cumie", but its spelt "Cummie"!
- He later pronounces it as Cummie again, and when Marcus corrects him you can audibly hear him trying to compose himself.
- The episode title comes from a remark that Henry makes when Bonnie runs back to Clydes arms once he gets out of prison, leaving her new boyfriend to slink away. As Henry, noted short man himself, puts it: Once you go short, you dont abort.
- At one point, it's mentioned that Clyde Barrow got his start by stealing chickens of all things, before moving on to a truckload of turkeys.Henry: I cannot imagine a louder crime.
Episode 370: Bonnie and Clyde Part II: "Give Me The Money Now"
- To illustrate how badly outgunned the police were in comparison to the Barrow gang, Marcus plays sound clips of a .38 Smith & Wesson Special, the standard issue police firearm at the time, followed by the M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle that was the gangs trademark. The difference is... marked.Ben: Whoooaaa!Ben: Yes, I think I know which gun I would prefer to have!
- Immediately after that, Marcus accidentally triggers a pistol firing sound, startling all three. Ben takes pains to point out that despite knowing full well the sound was from Marcus computer, they all instinctively ducked.
- The glorious and brief return of the Bonesplitter.
- Ben acts with outrage when the Barrow gang gets accused of holding up a Piggly Wiggly, his favourite department store brand, despite the gang having committed several murders at this point. Marcus is quick to call him out on this:Marcus: Oh, yeah, murders fine, but fuckin rob a Piggly Wiggly and all of a sudden, youre the devil!Ben: Okay, well, I didnt realise that Free Speech Jail was open for both of us tonight.Henry: Welcome to the cell next to me. Its you, me, Sirhan Sirhan and its wonderful. And theres no rehab in here!
Episode 374: Belle Gunness Part 1: "Holes in the Hog Pit"
- A tried-and-true tactic of Belle's to deflect suspicion from her crimes was her "crying lady" act. Naturally Henry plays it up to Inelegant Blubbering levels, to the point that Ben compares her crying to Chicken Lady.
Episode 375: Belle Gunness Part 2: "I Love Being a Farmhand"
- Everything about Ray Lamphere, Belle's wimpy former servant and occasional fuckbuddy.Henry (as Ray): "Belle! Wait! Belle, wait a second... (sings) Don't you remember when you told me you loved me babyyyyyy..."
Episode 388: The Vampire Hunters of Highgate Cemetery
- Sean Manchester and David Farrant getting foiled in their hunts multiple times by the cops of all people.David Farrant (mid-séance): Okay, now it's time for the incantations to—
Policeman: ALL RIGHT YOU PIECES OF SHIT, EVERYBODY UP AGAINST THE WALL!
- Followed shortly after by Farrant's failed attempt at casting a spell to disappear and evade arrest.
- The fact that the rivalry between Farrant & Manchester is the real story focus and not the alleged paranormal phenomena that started the whole thing. The mysterious vampire is pretty much a footnote (A ghostly entity with Life Drain abilities at Highgate Cemetery that people were reporting being attacked by).
Episode 390: Hadden Clark Part II: "Women's Panties"
- At one point, Marcus asserts that Hadden wasn't too bad-looking. This promptly sends Henry into horrified, screaming hysterics as he argues against both him and Ben, comparing Hadden to "Raúl Juliá with cancer" among other things. And then Ben concludes with this:Ben: I think he looks like an in-shape Steve Buscemi!Henry: Wow.
Episode 393: The Murder of Girly Chew Hossencoft Part I: "My Sweet Goon"
- The gang briefly goes on a tangent about new slang, with Henry using the word "stan". Marcus and Ben quickly inform him that it's no longer cool to say.Henry: God damn it! I'm so hype to learn new words.Marcus: (completely deadpan) ...You're fire.
- At one point, Henry, in-character as Diazien Hossencofft, claims to have acquired a flute which can block cancer, leading to a long string of a capella notes. Finally, Marcus explodes.Marcus: SHUT THE FUCK UP DIAZIEN!
Episode 394: The Murder of Girly Chew Hossencoft Part II: "President Goon"
- In the middle of an explanation of the beliefs of David Icke, Marcus veers the conversation towards Icke's belief in "Aryan" rulers descended from Reptoids:Ben: ...although I'm not sure how to square the whole "Aryan breeding" thing with President Barack Obama. Do you know that, Henry?Henry: [assured laughter] I'm not even gonna attempt.
Episode 408: The Yorkshire Ripper Part II: "The Chorlston Glumpers"
- The unfortunate acronym of the Special Homicide Investigation Team. Henry and Ben make it into a running gag by making fart noises whenever Marcus brings them up. Even better, the police themselves tended to refer to the team as "the Shit Squad" in real life.
Episode 409: Gef the Talking Mongoose
- Ben briefly conflates a mongoose with an actual goose, leading him to declare "honk honk" whenever the term "mongoose" is mentioned.
- Henry espouses a bit on Gef's political views, then decides to cover his own ass.Henry (As Gef): I think we should burn down the White House!...This is Gef talking, by the way!
Episode 416: Herbert Mullin Part I: "Blow Grass"
- Henry reinterprets the voices that allegedly came from Herbert's penis as Bill Cosby (who insists he doesn't sound anything like Bill Cosby) and Ted Koppal (or, as Ben refers to him, "Ted Cockal"). This carries over to the next episode.
- The term "blow grass", which Henry cannot handle, comes up, which then leads to comparison with the old "blowing bubbles" joke.
Episode 417: Herbert Mullin Part II: "Big Herb"
- Marucs's description of Mullin's murder of a mother and two children is completely derailed by Henry randomly comparing it to Cuphead, to Ben's confusion and annoyance that this, not the now-quintuple homicide, is what makes Marcus lose focus.
Episode 419: Jodi Arias Part I: "WAP"
- A Running Gag starts over Ben's confusion over the term "WAP", short for "Wet-Ass Pussy", as he initially believes that the wetness comes from the butt. It gets to the point where all three are laughing in immature glee over it.Henry: We've degraded as men!
- Marcus begins to compare having a relationship with someone like Jodi Arias to raising a bear in your backyard, which prompts Ben to immediately ask if he's implying a sexual relationship with the bear.Ben: What, do you wanna have sex with it?!Marcus: No! I—Ben: Where is this analogy going? "It's kinda like fucking a bear you're raising you're raising for a little while. It turns out, you skipped lunch for the bear, and he ate your cock off!"
- Henry and Marcus get into a debate over who was more attractive, Casey Anthony or Jodi Arias. Ben isn't amused:Ben: There's a dead child and a dead man, but which one of these two chicks had better hoo-hahs?!Laughter from Marcus and Henry
- Ben mentions how his part of helping with research involved looking at the nude photos Travis Alexander took of Jodi, which Marcus and Henry claim Ben called his "beaver research".
Episode 420: Jodi Arias Part II: "Juror #7"
- The title character is a joint venture between Ben and Henry - the only man in Mesa, Arizona who believes Jodi might be innocent. He brings booze to the court, masturbates while Jodi gives testimony and falls asleep with the classic ping pong ball eyes on.
- Henry's impression of Jodi during the investigation phase, playing the part of the grieving girlfriend.Henry: (as Jodi) I was... I'm just bushwhacked! I'm bushwhacked about this whole scenario!Ben: (as a detective) Well, ma'am, we've actually seen your beaver. We know you're not bushwhacked.(All three hosts burst into laughter)
- Since one of the more incriminating photos is of Jodi's genitals and anus, jokes about her butthole abound during the trial phase of the story.
- Marcus notes that Jodi escaped the death penalty due to the jury being deadlocked twice, presumably due to her relative attractiveness.Ben: (inthe style of Huey Lewis) And that's the power of tits!
Episode 421: The Beast of Boggy Creek
- Ben forgets the name of Harry and the Hendersons and calls it "Henry and the Harrison Fords," which leads Henry to pitch a reality show in which he lives with Harrison Ford and his family and bothers Ford into making new Star Wars films.
- After a story in which the titular beast bothers a single woman, there is a brief discussion on whether or not having sex with a Bigfoot/Sasquatch/etc. counts as bestiality. Ben thinks that it does, and Henry thinks that it doesn't... then there's Marcus.Marcus: I actually agree with Henry here, because what many people say about specifically the Fouke monster is that its face is much more human than ape. In fact, it's eerily human.Ben: Alright.Ben: Buddy, I was going to let both of you move on!
Episode 423: Adolfo Constanzo Part III: "Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs"
- At one point, Henry, who has been released from Free Speech Jail in the Side Stories prior, asks Marcus an inappropriate question concerning Mark Kilroy's death along the lines of 'where you happy it wasn't anyone from your own university?'. Marcus' response is a resounding:
- The reason that police ended up on Adolfo's tail wasn't through police work or dogged persistence. It was because one of his associates, Serafin Hernandez, shot through a police checkpoint at full speed, because he genuinely believed that Adolfo's black magic made him invisible to the cops. Needless to say, it didn't work out that way.
- Mark Kilroy getting fed scrambled eggs brings up the Frasier theme tune in Ben's mind, much to his own annoyance.
Episode 433: The Murderous Madness of the Eriksson Twins
- The hosts' pronunciation of folie à deux gets more and more mangled throughout the episode, despite Marcus's insistence that he practiced saying it beforehand.
- Henry thinks that the idea of suffering from a "puff of madness" is fun and that he, Ben, and Marcus should try it sometime. He is vocally disappointed when Marcus points out that the three of them can't be considered sufferers of folie à deux because they all have diagnosed pre-existing mental health conditions.
- At the end, Marcus relays the conspiracy theory that the twins were, in fact, artificial life-forms who escaped from an underground government facility in a crazed voice, and Henry joins in, to Ben's confusion and exasperation.
Episode 448: Alcatraz Part I-"Bird Is The Word"
- The title comes from Alcatraz inmate Robert Stroud, a sociopathic, pedophilic murderer with an obsession with birds, particularly canaries. Naturally, jokes about birds and bird shit abound for the next two episodes.
- Marcus mentions how prisoners in McNeil Prison were forced to carry around extremely heavy ball and chains tied to their feet, and Ben makes a crack that Marcus and Henry, both being married, already have balls and chains of their own.Ben: Woo! Single life! Where are my dogs? Where are my dogs?
- Robert Stroud's younger brother Marcus went on to become a magician, in sharp contrast to his criminal older brother. Henry predictably takes the opportunity to annoy his co-hosts with an over-the-top impression of "The Great Marcus".Henry: (as The Great Marcus) Kazam! It's me, brother! Always ready for a little tricksy! Oho! Guess a card, guess a card, guess a card! Oh, this man is stabbing me in the belly for tricksies!(Laughter from Marcus)Ben: You know, I believe in massive prison reform, you know that. But the one thing if I was a warden I would demand: no magicians! Are you kidding me? They can make— I saw an elephant disappear when I was a kid! And that wasn't a camera trick, that really happened. He could make the whole prison disappear!Henry: (as The Great Marcus) Kazoo, kazee! Ah, abracadabra! I have a chisel up my ass!Ben: Oh my God, who let the magician in here with the gaping butt?!
- Ben's complete incredulity at the fact that Della Jones fell in love with Robert Stroud.Ben: He's covered in more shit than a Roman statue, he's surrounded by birds, and he's in prison for double murder! Am I missing something here? How am I single!?
Episode 449: Alcatraz Part II-"The Dark Hole"
- When Ben learns about the small family communities that used to live on Alcatraz Island, he worriedly asks how many kids were carried away by the island's many pelicans.
- Many of the prison guards on Alcatraz were given colorful nicknames, ranging from somewhat intimidating ones like "Saltwater", "Slaughterhouse", and "Weasel-Eyes", to more wacky names like "Big Stew", "Big Stiff", and "Big Donkey". Of course, Marcus's favorite one is "Ass-Kicking Fats", prompting laughter from Henry and Ben.
Episode 450: Alcatraz Part III-"We Gotta Get Off This Rock"
- Marcus describes how most of the time, an Alcatraz inmate's first thoughts about the island were how he could get off it, but Ben takes the phrase "get off" a much different way. Marcus then admits that he phrased it that way on purpose to test Ben on his immaturity, and he failed.
- Ben's disappointment at the fact that the so called "shark infested waters" around Alcatraz were grossly exaggerated.Ben: That is going to greatly inhibit my plan of putting a harness on a shark and sorta having him carry me to the shore.
- Henry's impression of inmate Ted Cole makes him sound like The Riddler on an acid trip.Henry: (as Ted Cole) Hm, don't think I like it here. Doubt I'll stay long! (cackles maniacally)Ben: That's pretty scary, bro. That's kinda ominous.Henry: (as Ted Cole) Oh, they're serving Salisbury steak on Wednesdays, huh? (cackles wildly again)
- After detailing how kids were able to swim back and forth between Alcatraz Island (under adult supervision), Marcus tries to move on to the next subject, but immediately collapses into laughter when Henry calls the supervisor the "Raft Molester" and struggles to get through the next point.
Episode 452: Danny Rolling Part I-"I Need A Job"
- Henry's impression of Danny Rolling, which can only be described as like a southern Eeyore.
- Danny Rolling's father James was given the nickname "Baby Dumpling" by his fellow police officers, which Henry claims sounds like the moniker of a pedophile.Henry: (in a a high pitched voice) Hi kids! Y'all don't even need to hide from me! You know what I do~!
- Henry says that the crime "peeping" sounds too adorable, so he suggests the phrase "snarping" instead. This gag continues into the next episode.
- All three hosts quickly get annoyed with Rolling's constant apologizing after committing crimes. Marcus likens it to a small child who got caught sneaking cookies.
- At one point, Rolling tries to escape a prison work detail, only to get caught immediately and whacked in the nuts so hard, he suffered a torn testicle for the rest of his life. In the background, Ben can be heard wincing in discomfort at hearing this.
Episode 453: Danny Rolling Part II-"Bingo Bango Bongo"
- The episode's title comes from a bizarre rant Ed Humphrey (a bipolar Gainesville local and former suspect in the murder case) made at a bar during a bipolar break. When turned away at the door, he started shouting threats at the bouncer and the manager, culminating in him screaming "Bingo Bango Bongo!" at them before running away.
- Henry comes up with a new character for this episode: Night Horse, a self-described enigmatic horse musician on the run from capitalism. This bizarre gag pops up frequently throughout the episode, much to Ben's annoyance.
- Danny Rolling's first criminal venture in Gainesville involved him climbing onto a second floor apartment balcony, stripping completely nude except for a fanny pack. Naturally, Ben and Henry take this info and make a sketch out of it.Ben: Oh my God, Wendy, look! It's Ham Man! Isn't that nice?Henry: (as Rolling) I protect the whole world from salts by absorbing them myself!Ben: Wow, Ham Man! He's here again to save the day!Henry: (as Rolling) Hold onto my varicose veins! I'll save you, young girl!
- Henry then brings up an old story from when he did a nude comedy sketch, and a lady in the very back of the audience screamed out "HE NAKED!" in shock.
- Rolling's arrest for armed robbery following the murders fell on a day when the Ocala police force were out training, which Ben notes was incredibly convenient.Ben: And you know one sergeant looked over at a trainee and said, "Not every day is this fun. Don't get used to it."
- Henry then declares that Rolling's shirtless run from the police through the telemarketing office makes him an official resident of Florida.
- The bizarre love connection between Danny Rolling and Sondra London, which included over-the-top love letters from Sondra and a love song from Danny during a sentencing for his armed robberies. In the recording of the song, the annoyed judge can be heard trying to get Danny to stop, before telling him "Okay , you get one song and that's it, Mr. Rolling."
Episode 456: The Black Death Part I-"Stomp A Gerbil, Bribe A Rat"
- The Running Gag in the title comes from a piece of information from Marcus that implies gerbils were the main source of the original string of the plague. This leads to an episode long debate between Henry and Ben over whether or not gerbils deserve to live, with Henry insisting there's a "Gerbil Mafia" out in the world scheming.
- Marcus refuses to say the technical name of the plague due to the difficulty in pronouncing it, preferring to say "bubo" or just "the black death". Ben immediately notes that "bubonic" sounds like a pubic hair gone rogue.
- Ben mishears the pronunciation of "bubonic" as "boob-onic", prompting him to ask if tits started the plague. Henry claims they grow next to the tits, which leads to this exchange.Ben: Oh my God! Titties shouldn't have neighbors.Henry: Unless it's me!Ben: You're not a neighbor, you're an intruder.
- When describing the way the bubonic plague causes a person to become full of pus and plague bacteria, Henry remarks that the plague "turns you into applesauce".
- Marcus goes on a rant about how infected fleas spread the plague to humans, and Henry tries to imagine Marcus telling this story on a date.Marcus: I married the one who said "Tell me more."
- When Marcus mentions how four cougars were killed by bubonic plague in 2006, both Henry and Ben immediately make the same joke about a different kind of cougar.Ben: It killed four middle-aged beautiful women?Henry: (laughs) I was just about to say that!Ben: I knew you were!Henry: I was just about to say something about the idea of "How many appletinis will not go drunk?"(Marcus erupts into squeaking laughter)
- Henry's reenactment of a Caffa citizen witnessing the Mongols toss plague-infested corpses over the city walls.Henry: Those Mongols look pretty sick. What's that coming over the... wall? Oh my God, that's a fucking dude!
- Ben then compares the exploding rotten corpses to old pumpkins left on a front porch after Halloween.
- The fact that early Christians believed bathing was a vice completely befuddles Ben, especially the old notion that sitting naked in a tub of warm water could potentially lead to "impure thoughts".Ben: (in a gravelly voice) Folks, folks, listen to me here. I'm Alex Jones, circa 400. Uh, water's making you gay. Water's making your kids gay, water's making the frogs gay. Are you gay? Am I gay? I wish someone would love me.
- The topic of hygiene in medieval European cities is brought up, leading to a lot of literal shit talk. Marcus, Ben, and Henry can barely contain themselves when talking about the various jobs people had in order to keep the shit rivers flowing.
- Marcus listing off the different streets in France named after human waste, most of which are just variations of the French word for "shit"note . Then he mentions the street named after piss, "Route du Peepee", sending all three men into hysterical laughter.
Episode 457: The Black Death Part II: "Passport To Hell"
- Henry's vendetta against gerbils continues into this episode, much to Ben's displeasure.
- Even animals were afflicted by their own type of plague called rinderpest, where the afflicted animal loudly and violently shits itself to death. This led to many farmers being kept awake at night by the sounds of their cows and pigs dying en masse via shit diseases. Ben remarks that one of those pigs was Henry's ancestor, which cracks up everyone.Henry: My great-great ancestor!
- Marcus relays a story about how a Venetian fishmonger caught the plague and died after speaking to a galley crew, prompting this bit from Henry.Henry: (in a bad Italian accent) I was-a supposed to-a die in a war! [agonized death gurgle]
Episode 458: The Black Death Part III-"The Horny Popes"
- The title comes from an episode-long Running Gag about how many of the popes in the medieval era were horny as all get out. One such pope was Clement V, who was so horny, he moved the entire papacy to Avignon, France so he could be closer to his mistress.
- Henry briefly forgets the word for the Crusades, and sheepishly admits that he was going to say "charades" instead.
- Marcus talks about how medieval doctors would prescribe bloodletting treatments depending on the positions of particular constellations, and how they'd avoid certain areas during specific times. When he mentions how they'd avoid slicing near the testicles or the anus while the moon was in Scorpio, this promptly sends Ben and Henry into laughter.
Henry: (in a rough European accent) I don't understand, I feel fine! I feel fine! What do you mean? What is even an odd number?! What are numbers? (sputters incomprehensibly) Is this a type of bet?Ben: (as a doctor) We're not even listening, buddy. You're in even. You might as well be dead.Henry: Will my insurance cover this?Ben: (laughs mockingly) No, but thanks for paying every fucking month!
- Doctors would also predict whether or not a patient would live based on numerology. If the number was odd, the patient would live. If it was even, they would die. Naturally, Henry takes this piece of backwards medical thinking and runs with it.
- Upon learning how Queen Joanna of Naples gave Pope Clement VI the city of Avignon in exchange for an indulgence "forgiving" her of her first husband's murder, Ben wryly remarks that not much has changed when it comes to female killers getting away with crimes.
Episode 459: The Black Death Part IV-Meet The Flagellants!
- The episode's title comes from a long discussion about individuals called flagellants, who would torture and whip themselves as penance for humanity's sins. Naturally, this leads to an episode long Running Gag about how the flagellants were the progenitors of BDSM.
- To join the Brotherhood of the Flagellants, an aspiring member would first have to ask their spouse for permission to enroll. Naturally, this amuses Henry greatly.Henry: Is it okay if I go to my group today? I just gotta go. I know we were supposed to do brunch, but I guess it's just these rotten eggs.
Episode 460: The Black Death Part V-Mark Of The Beaver
- The title comes from a piece of new research that mentions how the very first string of the original source of the black death came from a beaver bite, which Ben immediately dubs the "Mark of the Beaver".
- When discussing how medieval English people believed that toothaches were caused by worms in their teeth, and how they also believed works would erupt from their bodies after death, Ben compares them to Oogie Boogie.
- Marcus brings up the septicemic varient of the plague, and all the disgusting ways it would warp the human body, and Henry once again makes a gag out of it saying it "turns you into raspberry jelly."
Episode 461: USS Indianapolis
- Marcus and Henry introduce the episode's topic, which is still on record as the worst naval disaster in US history. They set the horrific scene and mention that some of the victims of the Indianapolis's sinking lost their minds over the four days in the water, making the comparison to the previously-covered Donner Party. Ben has this to say:Ben: But four days? You're gonna lose your mind over the course of a long weekend? It takes two weeks before I'm gonna allow you to kinda lose your mind. If you look at me like I'm a ham hock after 24 hours, I would have been like, "48 hours ago, you must have been thinking the same thing!"
- On the Thanksgiving 2016 episode of Last Stream, Ben is subject to many a roast from Marcus' Garfield joke book as well as an infamous rude phone call from a Round Table of Gentlemen fan called Destiny. This all culminates in Ben slowly getting angrier and more annoyed throughout the episode.Henry: I'm gonna say this: Your German is really showing today, Kissel! noteBen: Yeah? You wanna fucking— you wanna be baked?!Marcus erupts into laughter, after a Beat, Henry dissolves into horrified laughterJackie: Oh my God! We're Polish!More hysterical laughter from MarcusHenry: That's disgusting!Ben: (unfazed) Yeah? Yeah? Good. Good fucking Christ Almighty.
- A darkly funny moment happens in the February 20th 2018 episode of Last Stream during Ben's Mandate. Although Ben usually picks videos that are "innocent" and less "out there" compared to Marcus and Henry, a sudden dark moment occurs when Ben shows a man severely injuring themselves trying to do a backflip watching a Michael Jackson impersonator. The chat claims that the man died which puts Ben in a genuinely shocked and somber mood (although sources do say the man just severely injured himself and did not die). The next video he plays (of a Man wailing horrifically with a Hurdy Gurdy instrument) is the icing on the cake as the tune sounds like a weird funeral tune which just cracks Marcus and Henry up.
- The impressions! Some of these impressions of the figures in these stories become complete reoccurring characters in their own right.
- Henry's take on Richard Chase is a Cloud Cuckoolander who sounds like a perpetually-screeching, deranged Mickey Mouse.
- Jeffrey Dahmer has been turned into a childlike dork with a cacophonic "nerd" voice and an exagerated Midwestern accent (as opposed to the soft, gentle, pleasant-sounding, Midwest Creepy Monotone he actually had note ).
- The same "Dahmer" episode also has the funniest take on Det. Patrick Kennedy known to humanity.Henry!Kennedy: (when describing Jeff's fridge) "DIJON!", "...an' Arm & Hammer Bakin' Soder, to keep it fresh", "...And there was this black guy! note ..."
- Much is made of everyone's Midwestern-ness it's like the case was populated by men who were low-key "Marge Gunderson" or stereotypical Canadians note .
- Charles Ng who's an over-the-top McNinja Asian stereotype with his Asian Speekee Engrish and catchphrase of "What I bwing to fwienship" and variations thereof.
- David Berkowitz (the 'Son of Sam') being the biggest "nebbish" imaginable, having weird allergies and generally being a complete stereotypically-Jewish dweeb who allergic to everything.
- Henry's impression of Charles Manson, a raspy-voiced, sexually-frustrated note , elderly stoner who's a Talkative Loon.
- Minnie & Nannie; Two victims of H.H. Holmes who have been recharacterized as these shrill weird women who constantly introduce themselves.
- Mr. Muggs, Jim Jones' pet chimp. The Only Sane Man of The Peoples Temple, with a mechanical voicebox Congo-style.
- Elliot Rodger's inner monologue sounds something like a slightly effete, overly-melodramatic Alfred Hitchcock.
- Henry's impersonation of his own mother, which includes her quirk of referring to him by his first and middle names (Henry Thomas, or rather Henry Tahwmas, in her accent). It reaches new heights in Episode 333: The Andreasson Affair, where Henry entirely bases his impression of Betty Andreasson (the alien abductee) off his mother and even throws in quotes from her.
- Henry's take on Peggy Hodgson (and others) in the Enfield Poltergeist case. Hilarious Cockey accents and English-stereotypes abound. If Henry's David Berkowitz is a hypochondriac who's allergic to everything then Ms. Hodgson has weird ailments like "Hook-Feet", "Sandy Ankles" and "Rag Lung" (she's the 'Rag Woman', you see).
- Henry's impression of Joseph Kallinger, which despite his intention of making it a generic "old Jewish man" voice, ends up morphing into "Serial Killer Bernie Sanders".
- The impression of Dennis Nilsen is a most glorious, Celtic, cacophonic symphony of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, Scotireland, Trilling Rs and Large Ham.
- Norwegian Black Metal musicians (and Scandinavians in general) are also often hilarious.
- Chris Benoit, a raspy-voiced hamtastic Cloud Cuckoolander who's none too smart.
- Danny Rolling becomes a sullen, overly apologetic Eeyore with a dopey southern accent.
- Robert Pickton is a goofy Canadian with a silly exaggerated accent and a horrid style of writing that rambles on and on and on and on and...Ben: "AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"