Funny / The Kill Count

• In the Freddy vs. Jason kill count, James refers to Will (played by Jason Ritter) as "Dipper Pines".
• In the Alien: Covenant video, James comments on Jussie Smollett's minor role playing the navigator.
  James: Kind of a small role for a dude whose other performances earned him four Teen Choice nominations. And sixteen felony charges.
• In the Us video, James gets to the Body-Count Competition scene and acts rather disappointed at the family doing his job for him.
  Zora: I have the highest kill count in the family.
  Adelaide: You don't have the highest kill count.
  James: Oh! Well, perhaps I can be of assistance! I do happen to be the ex-
  Zora: I killed both twins.
  Adelaide: Wrong. I just killed the second one.
  James: Yep, that's exactly right. Guess you already knew that. But, did you know that-
  Jason: I killed Kitty.
  James: Yeah! So that's-
  Gabe: So that's one, one, one and two. I killed two. I killed myself and Josh, so...
  James: So, wow, you guys, like, don't even really need me, huh...
• That glorious scream in James' "let's get to the numbers" segment for the Ho Yay-centric A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge.
• The "let's get to the numbers" segment that James does for the A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors Kill Count.
  James: In my dreams, I'm a strong boy.
• James's reaction to the stupidity that Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers opens on, starting with playing "Yakety Sax" over Michael drifting downriver and ending with:
  James: So, what? This old dude just let him sleep there for a whole fucking year? What?!
• James trying to dance sexily like Deborah Myers during the transition to the numbers in the Halloween (2007) Kill Count.
• In the kill count for ThanksKilling, during the segment in one of the kids' houses, James is just barely holding his own laughter and speaking through it.
  James: One shitty turkey and ten humans died in Thankskilling.
  • James's reaction to the scene where a driver attempts to solicit sex from the turkey is amazing in how the weirdness of the movie is starting to wear on him.
    Driver: Ass, gas, or grass.
    James: Wait, Ass? What, Does this guy not know he's a turkey?
    Turkey: Well, I'm out of gas, guess I'll take ass.
    James: Does that turkey not know that that guy wants to fuck him?
    Driver: Mmm-hmm, now that's what I call a tight ass!
    James: (Disturbed) What the fuck is this movie?!!?
  • His reaction to Kristen preparing to immolate Turkey, which is in his words, "one of the most bizarrely delivered jokes [James] ever heard."
    Kristen: I'm ready to see this cock burn.
    Johnny: You mean, Turkey, right?
    Kristen: No, I mean like a dick, not like the animal.
    James: (Confused) What?
• In the Kill Count for Krampus:
  Aunt Dorothy: Come on, guys. I'm gonna teach you how to make peppermint schnapps!
  James: Good parenting, y'all!
• This bit from the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark Kill Count:
  James: At least [Harold]'s still stuck on that pole, right?
  (Harold proceeds to do just that)
  James: Oh- shit! Nevermind!
  • He also mentions that "Deodat" sounds like a Pokémon name.
    James: Deodat uses Plot Device, and it's super effective!
  • Also from the same video, as Stella writes in Sarah's book:
    James (as Stella): "She was the coolest and hottest babe anyone had ever seen before." Can you please stop killing my friends now?
• James's reaction to the brutally high numbers in The First Purge:
  With a runtime of 97 minutes [and a body count of 133] that left us with a kill on average every... 43.76 seconds! Holy shit!
• When tallying up the numbers for Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, the figure meant to represent Rocco is instead the silhouette of a certain cartoon wallaby. Also, the infamous "GARBAGE DAY!" victim has a trash can with his figure and James himself is dressed as Ricky is in the film during his review (including that scene).
• During the Kill Count for A Bucket of Blood, James thinks it's cute that Walter tells Carla that he has feelings for her, as long as he doesn't rush into a relationship with her.
  Walter: I-I wanna get married. To you.
  James: YOU BLEW IT!
• In the Child's Play Kill Counts, we see a Chucky doll on display in the background with each ongoing film having him further and further out of the box until the end of the Cult of Chucky has him suddenly leaping at James and "attacking" him as he screams "He's killing me! He's killing me!"
• After Jigsaw's nephew gets killed after being hit by a garbage truck while riding a motorcycle with faulty breaks in Jigsaw, he cries out "If only it wasn't garbage day!"
• His disgust at Violet's death from Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning due to the poor special effects (to the point of giving it the Dull Machete award) and states that "Tom Savini is rolling in the grave he made from scratch and sleeps in every night."
• Before getting to the numbers in the Freddy vs. Jason Nightmare Edition, James holds up Freddy's razored glove and delivers Jessie's girlish scream and then holds up Jason's machete and displays Reggie's ear-splitting scream.
• James is so horrified by the ending of Pieces where the Jigsaw Woman Dean Foley was working on comes to life and castrates Kendall, that he can't even give off his usual "Get to the Numbers" catchphrase. Instead we simply walks off holding his crotch in sympathy.
  James: Uh. How many- what the fu- why did that corpse grab him? Wha- God... Poor Kendall, man...
• This quip in the Jason X Recount after someone in the film asks what a hockey mask is.
  Kay-Em 14: Facial armor. Used in a sport outlawed in 2024.
  James: We got three years until the Canadians riot. Enjoy the poutine while you can.
• Right before getting to the numbers in Killer Klowns from Outer Space, he gets pied in the face by a klown (who then delivers a thumbs up after doing so) as he then yells out "KLOWNS!!"
• At the end of the Mordeo Season 1 kill count, James gets pounced on by a Mordeo. The Mordeo then proceeds to do the recap and give out the Golden Chainsaw and Dull Machete. The problem is that the Mordeo is The Unintelligible, leading to the cannibal spirit just sitting there gesturing while howling.
  • Even better, the Dull Machete is given to James himself.
  • Even better, if you turn closed captions on, you actually get a translation of what the Mordeo is saying.
    The Mordeo: I'll give the Golden Chainsaw to the cannibal dude from the beginning. The way he transformed into one of my minions was FANTASTIC. I'll give the Dull Machete for the lamest kill to James A. Janisse. Even after saying he doesn't like CGI blood, he goes up and USES CGI BLOOD! And he can't even be on here anyway, he's the narrator!
• The fact that James makes a Pokémon reference in You're Next during Erin's fight with Zee and Felix.
  James: Then Erin uses Splash!
  [Erin proceeds to splash Felix with a pot of now-cold water]
  James: It's not very effective.
• When commenting on Josh's death in Us, James refers it to an "awesome kill, great job!"
• Some completely random jump cuts from Final Destination 2:
  Nurse: It's a boy!
  Fisherman: A whaaat?
  Freddy Krueger: It's a booooy!
  James: Sorry, I'm just fuckin' around at this point.
• James' sudden angry, Brodie-like reaction to Janet getting her shoelace caught in an escalator in The Final Destination.
  James: You know, maybe they could stay safe if their parents had taught them to FEAR AND RESPECT THE ESCALATOR!
  • His reaction to Hunt's death: "My bum is on the drain, my bum is on the drain, the pressure keeps building and it's causing lots of pain!" Also, the shot of him being in the throes of death is the video's thumbnail.
  • Also chuckle-worthy is how exasperated James gets with the blatant Fanservice, noting how the shot of one of the main characters standing around in her panties is almost identical to the intentionally satirical fanservice in Cabin In The Woods.
• After one of the Crawlers is put on the tally in James' kill count of The Descent:
  James: The Crawlers may not exactly be human, but you sure can kill 'em like one; a pretty lucky break for the ladies, since humans are easily killable.
  [Juno whirls around and accidentally buries a climbing axe into Beth's throat]
  James: WHICH IS WHY YOU HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL AROUND THEM! HOLY SHIT, JUNO! YOU JUST STABBED A SCHOOLTEACHER IN THE NECK!
• The way James's normal "Let's Get to The Numbers" line during his Kill Count for Candyman gets interrupted by a swarm of bees brings to mind a certain Nicolas Cage movie:
  James: How many people did Candyman have bee his victim? Let's find out and buzz our way to the num-
  [A swarm of bees suddenly enters his room]
  James: What is it? Was it bees?! No! Not the bees! NOT THE BEES!! AAH! AAHH!! [Attempts to chase the bees away with some flailing as he runs out of the room screaming]
• James pointing out some of Jigsaw's hypocrisy in the Saw VI Kill Count.
  Jigsaw: [After Hoffman drops Timothy Young's body] That's a human being.
  James: [Imitating him] You know, that I'm shortly about to put in my favourite torture device. The one that twists his head around.
• James' repeated mocking of Jigsaw's "I'm not a killer" mentality in the Saw III Kill Count, even mockingly going "Jigsaw despises murderers" while talking about John's "test" for Amanda.
• James' extreme annoyance at Candyman's Goth "Congregation" in Candyman: Day of the Dead. He's relieved when they summon Candyman, who kills them all in short order.
  James: Oh good, she's doing the mirror thing. This shouldn't take long.
• During the "Let's Get to The Numbers" segment for the Kill Count for The Slumber Party Massacre, Chelsea tickles James's nose to make him sneeze off-screen and James, completely unaware that she had applied whipped cream onto his hand throughout the entire video, ends up splattering it onto his face and begrudgingly walks off to do "The Numbers" with whipped cream now on his face.
• In the Unfriended: Dark Web Kill Count, after the characters decide to play Cards Against Humanity:
  James: A game that's fun for like, a few rounds until the shock of hearing "Big Black Dildo" wears off.
• In the Home Sweet Home Kill Count: James yells "BUSINESS!" every time a certain character talks about business and accumulating clothing (such as a monocle) to slowly turn into the Monopoly Man.
  • To make things even better, one of the members of Neon Brainiacs, who is also a Meatie, Photoshopped BUSINESS!James' head onto the Monopoly Man's body, which got approved by James himself.
• In the Child's Play kill count, he gives Charles Lee Ray (who died unceremoniously after a shootout) the Dull Machete award via an Obligatory Joke based on his looks saying that he "did naht die well. He did naht! Oh, hai Chucky!"
• The Leprechaun Kill Count has a Shout-Out to a certain to a certain back and forth conversation Homer Simpson once had while Tori tries to get away:
  James: She finds the police car (that's good!), but then discovers the cop's corpse inside (that's bad!). Lep shows up and she sticks in the eye with a baton (that's good!), but then he rips the door off the police car, which is bad. Can she go now?
• The kill count for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street features James gradually shaving his beard in different styles between takes. Plus the return of the "BUSINESS!" gag from Home Sweet Home.
  • In regards to the number "Not While I'm Around":
    James: You hear that, Lovett? Your own personal eighty-pound bodyguard!
• This line in the Scream 3 Kill Count after a particularly egregious reveal.
  James: ...revealing that Maureen had been in Los Angeles when she was 19 years old, unbeknownst to her family, or the audience, or the writer, back when he wrote the original.
• In the fourth [REC] movie, when going through the characters he mentions that the one named Goro "has two arms less than I expected".
  • And in the numbers, he represents his death with... a silhouette from Mortal Kombat's Goro.
• The way James introduces the falling firefighter scene from Quarantine (2008) brings to mind a certain Weather Girls song:
  James: You know, personally, I'd be a little less concerned about the locked doors and a little more worried about the building's unusual weather pattern, 'cause It's Raining Men!
  Fletcher: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! [Faceplants really hard onto the first floor]
  James: Hallelujah!
• When he's about to do The Numbers for the Upgrade Kill Count, STEM, who had been implanted into James's spine all the while, took over most of The Numbers and its transition, leading to these masterpieces:
  • During the transition to The Numbers:
    James: How many people got downgraded to death status? Let's find out, after another word from our sponsor- [Hears STEM in his mind]
    STEM: No more talk about sponsorships, James.
    James: Wh-What? [Suddenly gets controlled by him]
    STEM: The people want The Numbers.
    James: Er, no, but I-I need the sponsorships! I NEED TO BUY LUCY'S FOOD! [Is forced to do The Numbers by STEM]
  • At The Numbers:
    James: 15 peo-
    STEM: I will handle this.
    James: Oh, okay.
    STEM: people died in Upgrade, with 12 of the victims male and 3 of the victims female.
    James: Oh well, then I guess it's true when there's an over-representation of males when it comes to STEM, right? [Awkwardly laughs]
    STEM: With a runtime of 100 minutes, that factored out to a kill on average every 6.666666666- [Gets smacked by James to shut up] -repeating minutes. Thank you, James. You are in control.
    [James sighs in relief]
    STEM: ...for now.
    [Cue James instantly losing his smile]
    • If you look closely, you can see James moving his eyes and lightly nodding as if he is agreeing with STEM.
• During the Carrie (1976) Kill Count, as James grows bored by the minutiae of the prom, he decides to check in on Margaret at home, which is the scene where she is chopping up a carrot until she just ragefully and repeatedly chops at the now empty chopping block itself, which freaks him out so much that he immediately goes back to the dance.
  • He mocks Norma's "stupid red hat", even quipping that her head will fall off if she doesn't have it on due to how much she wears it.
• The whole I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer Kill Count is effectively James nearing the Despair Event Horizon, purely from how terrible the movie in question is.
  • The intro, which is just the phrase "This movie fucking sucks."
    • Just look at his facial expression when he does the intro. It just cries out "Why the hell am I doing this?"
  • After the first of many terrible character scenes, James takes a moment to reflect on what exactly he's covering.
    James: [Resigned] I'm really fuckin' covering this thing.
  • James admits that a lot of things are coming together after realizing the movie shares a director with the Slender Man movie.
  • There's also James' line when one of the main characters hugs a frog plush after being told "No Parties" by her parents.
    James: Sorry Frank the Frog, I know how you love those sex orgies.
  • His Couch Gag this time is simply slapping the DVD case off the shelf and flipping it off.
  • The Dull Machete doesn't go to all the kills in the film, as they were the one part of the film James didn't consider terrible. Instead, it goes to every single moment of the movie that wasn't part of the Golden Chainsaw kill.
• In the Blood Quantum review: The animatronic fish in the background when it cuts to James. At one point, it even falls off the shelf.
  • Also, there’s a character named Lysol in the film. And his death representation on the numbers…is a can of Lysol.
• The get to the numbers segment for Mayhem has James have a brief Freak Out as he succumbs to the virus from the movie, doing random karate moves and punching himself in the face.
• Literally right in the beginning of his Kill Count for The Prowler, James starts off the count normally.. and then goes on a mini-rant complaining about the fact he's standing in his favorite part of the entire new Kill Count room, and will continue to do so going forward.
• At the end of the Freaky kill count, before James can get to the numbers, The Podcast Psychopath (Chelsea) comes out of nowhere and stabs him with La Dola. After James (in Chelsea's body) wraps up the numbers, we cut to Chelsea (in James' body) hoisting a bust of Leatherface onto the shelf, while saying "This set needs more Leatherface"
  • After returning to his own body, he mentions that he "misses the boobs".
• James noted that the title track from Mortal Kombat: The Movie is personal to him because as a kid, whenever his parents were out of the house James and his friends would blast it from the speakers and beat the crap out of each other.
  • Also, regarding the title track, because the original release was blocked on YouTube due to including the song, James had to remove every instance of it, replacing it in the reupload with him playing it on his saxophone. The first time it happens is in the intro explaining and, as he plays, his focus in playing makes him look utterly done with YouTube's bullshit.
    • After the video AGAIN got demonetized, even with his sax cover, he had to re-edit it to make the sax cover choppy, amplifying just how pissed off he looks.
  • On a related note, the silhouettes of the game characters for Mortal Kombat: The Movie and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation use their victory sprites while Rain (who is burned alive) is represented by a skeleton sprite.
• At the end of the Kill Count for Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth, the expected trailer for the episode on Hellraiser: Bloodline begins to play. However, just as the Dead Meat logo comes up, the video suddenly cuts to a shot of outer space, catching James (who was previously in full Pinhead mode) completely off guard...and signalling that his day of reckoning has finally arrived:
  James: (in Pinhead impression) Wait, what? (normal voice) What's going on? That clip's not from Hellraiser: Bloodline. It almost looks like...
  (sound of a turkey gobbling)
  James: Oh... no...
  (louder turkey gobbling)
  James: Oh GOD no!
  (more turkey gobbling over a caption that says "A Space Film By CRAN BERRYMAN")
  James: MotherFUCKER!!
  Turkie: Nice tits, bitch! In space!
  (the logo for Thankskilling 3 appears)
  James: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
  • And when the actual Thankskilling 3 Kill Count comes out, much like with I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer, James doesn't even try to pretend that he enjoys the movie. He can't even get through his typical welcome statement before going on a rant about how much he hates it and how he's only covering it because people kept flooding his comments with requests for it. And at the end, he completely skips over saying "let's get to the numbers" and just stomps off to get it over with.
    James: Let's get this shit over with...
  • According to James, Chelsea actually gave up and left early on after seeing Turkie's wife vomiting on Nibla, leaving him to suffer through it alone.
  • He greatly dislikes the ear-gratingly high-pitched voices used for the puppet characters, comparing them to "a bad South Park impression".
  • Upon seeing the scene of Lois rapping:
    James: (in a despondent tone) I miss Darren and Billy.
  • When Turkie says "String cheese", a poorly animated advertisement for a fictional string cheese brand cuts in:
    String Cheese Mascot: Kids is loving it. Greenie's String Cheese.
    James: What the fuck is happening?!
    String Cheese Mascot: Fuck you!
    James: No, fuck you, ThanksKilling 3.
  • After Turkie kills Lois:
    James: But mostly, I'm excited to be rid of that ugly fucking puppet.
  • The "what the fuck" tone he speaks in when he breaks down the kills and talks about Lois:
    James: —a geriatric puppet woman—
  • The video description eloquently summarizes James's opinion on all those who requested this particular Kill Count:
    You're all on my shit list this year.
• In the Christmas Evil Kill Count, James wears a complete Santa Claus outfit and calls himself "Santa Meat", which he admits is a terrible name.
  • Just before the "get to the numbers" moment, James tries to eat cookies and milk but realizes he can't because of the Santa beard.
• Since The Forever Purge is set in Texas, James opens the video by wearing a cowboy hat and speaking in an accent, though he drops the latter mid-sentence with a laugh after a few moments.
• At one point during the Tremors kill count, Zoran reveals that he's not wearing pants, since his waist is below screen; James promptly pops up to tell him to put pants on or they're cancelling the guest host experiment. Later, when Rhonda has to take her pants off to escape some barbed wire she's tangled up in, Zoran makes to take his off, only for James to pop in again and stop him. This would get a Brick Joke during the Tremors 3: Back to Perfection Kill Count when Zoran uses the fact that he's using a different set (as the main Kill Count set was being renovated at the time) as an excuse to circumvent this order; cut to James realizing that Zoran left his pants hanging on a wall.
  • Zoran mentions an episode of the spinoff TV series that featured a prehistoric shrimp monster. He then has to clarify that he's serious.
  • Zoran also mentions how Syfy shot down the pilot for a second TV series, before listing all the other shows they did pick up which then crashed and burned.
  • Due to loving Walter's line of offering Earl and Val a package of Swiss cheese and bullets, Zoran creates a fake commercial advertising Swiss Cheese and Bullets as if it's a singular item.
  • James decides that actually, he'd like to keep doing the Kill Count after all... Where Zoran promptly blows him away with a shotgun. Weirdly, it implies it's not the first time he's killed his friend/boss...
    Zoran: Broke into the wrong goddamn kill count, didn't ya, you bastard!?... Man, I love killing James.
• At one point during the Tremors 5: Bloodlines kill count, Zoran makes a comment about business. Cut to James in his "Business!" outfit, looking up and saying "Business?"
  • Zoran's sheer exasperation at all the Toilet Humor in this movie.
• Zoran bringing up Sally Soulsmasher's naming moment in Tremors 6: A Cold Day in Hell.
  Swaghammer: She was a dirty, man-eating bitch who used to stick her nose in places where it didn't belong.
  Zoran: (Clearly disturbed) Oookay, good luck with all that.
• At the end of the Tremors 7: Shrieker Island kill count, Zoran is so distraught by Burt's death (and how poorly executed he thought it was), that fellow Dead Meat editor Ben tries to cheer him up by dressing up as Burt. When this doesn't work and Zoran stomps off, Ben tries to take over the Kill Count and do one for The Last Jedi — Zoran promptly gives a Big "NO!" and tackles Ben clear into the "To the Numbers" segment.
  • After a particularly egregious cut where a Graboid is suddenly seen killing one of Bill's men, Zoran has a quip ready for the situation
    Zoran: Bill fires the editor — I mean, a pistol.
• While covering American Psycho, Chelsea regrets choosing it as her first Kill Count because of how dark and serious a film it is, complaining how James gets all the cool kills.
  • When she reveals that Bill Sage is in the movie as one of Patrick's friends, she notes that his first line in the movie is amazing: "They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in."
    Chelsea: Huh. Guess there wasn't an amazing line for him. Did I mention it's the 80s?
  • She points out that the first kill of the movie is off-screen and thus still uncertain, but notes that that could technically apply to all the kills in the movie..
    Chelsea: I had to pick a complicated one for my first kill count.
  • Chelsea suggesting that a lot of innocent lives would have been spared if Patrick Bateman had been able to get into flame wars with Peter Gabriel fans on LiveJournal.
• Chelsea gets a lot of mileage out of the ridiculously cheesy background music in American Psycho II, likening it to incidental music from SpongeBob SquarePants.
• In the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) kill count, James makes a point of referring to Ruth solely as "Dante's partner", because that's what Netflix's closed captions call her and she's never called by name in the movie's dialogue.
• In the Don't Breathe 2 kill count's "Get to the Numbers" gag, there's a recreation of the movie's long one-take as James hides from Zoran as the latter tries to convince the former to let him do another kill count. It ends with James dropping Zoran with a karate chop and fleeing, while Zoran lies on the floor and complains that he actually wore pants for this.
• When James makes a reference to Pinhead during the Bride of Chucky Recount, Pinhead shows up on the Kill Count set to demand to know when James is going to get back to doing the rest of the Hellraiser series. James responds with some Brutal Honesty:
  James: When you start doing good movies.
  Pinhead: ...That's fair.
• Due to a technicality in Kill Count rules^{For anyone wondering...}They give an exact number, along with showing footage of the prank, including the explosion and the sound of people screaming, reminding James of the kills in the Final Destination series, James is forced to admit the flashback in Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 of the bros destroying a dam and flooding a town counts, adding FOUR THOUSAND DEATHS to its kill count and making it the new Kill Count champion (then seemingly permanently), much to James's dismay.
  • Also the running gag of the film's directors gaslighting Zoran into thinking he played a deleted role in the film, despite him stating at the beginning of the kill count he didn't join 5 Second Films until after the movie was made.
  • During the "Let's get to the numbers" bit after Zoran leaves, Brent shows up. And he's still looking for Sizzler.
• The "Get to the Numbers gag" for The Black Phone has James getting called by the ghost of Zoran and re-enacting the training between Robin and Finn in the main movie. And why might Zoran be a ghost?
  Zoran: I really wish James hadn't killed me because Dude Bro's the new Kill Count Champion.
• The Gremlins Kill Count starts with James trying to describe the movie only for behind-the-scenes clips disagreeing with James' quotes to appear. He calls it "the classic 1984 horror movie," then "the classic 1984 Christmas movie," then gives up and calls it "the classic 1984 movie."
  • The "Get to the Numbers gag" counts as well, being a parody of Kate's Christmas story where James monologues about a certain, recent event in the same vein.
  James: (...)And that's how I learned that the Kill Count championship... would be lost forever... to fucking Dude Bro Party Massacre 3.
• The Gremlins 2: The New Batch Kill Count has perhaps the most insane to the numbers yet. As a nod to the meta "Gremlins break the reel" scene, the video seemingly buffers out before being replaced by a fake claim that the video has been taken down for copyright (by Clamp Cable as well), before the Gremlins proceed to attack Anna Brisbin, Tell It Animated (as he begs them to let him finish his Pinhead evolution video), an old Drunk Disney episode featuring James and Chelsea (of course, being the one on Snow White), before being finally reigned in so the video can go on by Zach Galligan. And how does he reign in the Gremlins this time?
  Zach: When we do a sequel, I'll make sure you guys are CGI.
• Before the "Get to the Numbers" section of the Scream 4 recount, James gets a phone call from Zoran-as-Ghostface, who threatens to make a third Thankskilling if James doesn't play along with his game. In a nod to Kirby's scene in the movie where she responds to Ghostface's question regarding horror remakes by rapid-fire listing every remake that came out in the 2010s, James responds to Zoran's question about the Kill Counts by rapidly listing every single one. Time Skip to several hundred named counts later, and we see that Zoran has become a skeleton from having sat there listening for so long.
• The "Get to the Numbers" setup for Scream (2022) where James is interrupted and stabbed by a Ghostface who makes it "Get to the Kills" instead.
  James: What- No, not the Kills, the Numbers, Zoran! The Numbers... *collapses*
  Ghostface: ...Zoran? You must be dumber than your Film Fails character. If it's numbers you want though, I'm happy to oblige.
• James counted Kirby as a kill during the original Scream 4 kill count but did not do it in the recount since the sequel revealed she had survived. Cue Kirby's return in Scream VI where she reveals she technically did die there (she was clinically dead for a few minutes).
  Kirby: Technically, I did die.
  (long, uncomfortable Beat as James' smile disappears)
  James: ...what?
  Kirby: For four minutes.
  James: Oh, come on!
• At one point during the Deep Rising Kill Count, Zoran compares one death to the bathroom death in Jurassic Park, at which point it cuts to him in Jeff Goldblum cosplay to say the famous "When you gotta go" line.
  • When noting that the mercenaries' gun props were also used in the Leslie Nielsen film Wrongfully Accused, Zoran muses as to whether he can Kill Count Dracula: Dead and Loving It without James knowing about it. He's promptly smacked by an unseen force while James' voice comes from offscreen to tell him no, causing Zoran to sigh that James knows all.
  • Editor Josh is brought in to count all the bodies in the scene where all the remains of the monsters' victims are found at once. After cutting back to Zoran for a moment, it returns to Josh, revealing he's been reduced to a skeleton from the exertion of trying to get through all of them.
  Zoran: Noooo! Deep Rising killed Josh!
  • During the "Get to the Numbers" gag, Zoran is "attacked" by a piece of tubing, referencing one of the many practical effects used for the monsters during the film, only to pause and question if they're going to CGI a tentacle over it in post. James tells him no since they already used all their budget on the Dead Meat Horror Awards, causing Zoran to pout and toss the tube away.
  • At the end of the Numbers, Zoran gloats that even though they make Deep Rising the second-highest body count in Kill Count history, they're still nowhere close to Dude Bro Party Massacre 3. He laughs about this, only to then get smacked with the tube again.
• Throughout the Kill Counts for The Collector (2009) and The Collection, Zoran's repeated bouts of frustration at the sheer Fridge Logic of the Collector's various death traps.
  • For the "Get to the Numbers" gag in The Collection, Zoran gets abducted by the Collector in one of his red boxes... which the Collector then wheels out into the Numbers screen, looming over the box while Zoran does the whole Numbers section from within it.
• Much like the Mordeo and Ghostface, the "Get to the Numbers" section of the Critters Kill Count sees the movie's monster hijack the video. Specifically, a Crite knocks out Zoran and proceeds to chitter through the Numbers (with subtitles) before Zoran blows it up with a firecracker to take back control in time for the awards.
  • Zoran's exasperation throughout the movie as Brad is repeatedly sent alone into dangerous situations by the adults. This continues into the Kill Count for the second movie.
  • During the "Get to the Numbers" gag for Critters 2, a bunch of Crites overwhelm and eat Zoran, only to be killed in turn by Ug, who takes Zoran's form to do the numbers in his stilted monotonic voice.
• In the Critters 3 Kill Count, Zoran does not hesitate at all to make his displeasure known about Josh and Annie's forced romance arc.
  • During the "Get to the Numbers" gag, as a nod towards the movie's cliffhanger lead-in to the fourth movie, James contacts Zoran via a hologram-like Ug to tell him that in order to keep interest in this particular series of Kill Counts up, he's bringing in a guest host for the next one, who drops in through the ceiling in a pod, complete with freeze frame... which Zoran unpauses himself from, wandering away from the still frozen in mid-air pod to do the Numbers.
    • The Critters 4 Kill Count follows up by revealing the guest host as James and Chelsea's new dog, Molly. Zoran briefly goes along with this, with a high-pitched voice getting dubbed in for Molly. He then decides that this is too silly even for him and does the Kill Count himself.
• In a parody of how horror franchises tend to send their monsters into space in later instalments, the Critters 4 Kill Count has a fake ad for an A Nightmare on Elm Street movie that does that. Chucky then pauses the video to complain how not every horror franchise does this... only to look up and realize he's on a space station.
  • This is made ten times funnier when one remembers that Brad Dourif is one of the main cast members in Critters 4.
• The Kill Count for Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey begins with James stating that, yes, the movie is in fact real.
• In the Kill Count for Hostel: Part II, the team made a hilarious reference to Pee-wee's Playhouse with the word "cunt"^*which is censored due to YouTube automatically demonetizing videos featuring the word as the secret word... only to immediately scream in horror as Beth rips Stuart's penis out in front of Sasha and his cronies. Even Molly joined in on the fun with her WTF reaction towards the camera.
  • Sadly becomes Harsher in Hindsight when James reveals that the gag was made a day before the team learned of Paul Reuben's death.
• James caps off the count for Don't Hug Me I'm Scared by transforming into a puppet and singing Zoran a song about his rules for the Kill Count, much to the latter's annoyance. Highlights include James saying that the best way to count of room full of kills is to let Josh (the editor) do it, and following Zoran into the bathroom when he leaves to go pee.
• Chelsea starts off the Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc kill count by dancing after the usual announcement of the media covered. Highlights of her dance include her madly swinging around a sword, a bastard skelly being waved around, her shaking around a Monokuma plushie played over a bunch of Monokuma mascots dancing, and giving Molly some kisses.
  • Later on in the video, Chelsea jokes about how the scenes with Fanservice will be the ones your friends and loved ones will walk in on you playing, stating that to James, the entire game is just upskirts of anime girls… before proceeding to pull up her own skirt.
  • "The 22 words every man wants to hear:" Kyoko's infamous warning about Mukuro Ikusaba. Chelsea would take every opportunity she could to replay the clip, cutting it off sooner each time.
  • The "To The Numbers" segment has James pop in at the last second to dispute Alter Ego's inclusion on the count, which starts with the signature "Counter" graphic and ends with a Bullet Time Battle of Chelsea complaining about Jame's decision. James wins the battle with a "Comments" Truth Bullet to point out it would be all the comment section would talk about.
• The "To the Numbers" bit for The Blair Witch Project, is, of course, James doing Heather's famous diary video... Except it's him apologizing that he couldn't think of a better thing to parody from the film, and gives a Long List of almost every other film and TV show that's parodied it before him.
  James: Hopefully, this tired old reference will die with me.
• James' utter delight (and Zoran's dismay) when the Emesis Blue Kill Count annihilates the Dude Bro Party Massacre 3 record with a massive body count of 800,054.
  James: It's over! My long, personal nightmare is over!
  • When James prepares to get to the numbers, a stage light falls on him, killing him instantly. He respawns roughly three seconds later from our perspective, but as is the theme, "It's eternity in there" and he managed to get a lot done within three seconds. And has not only been autobalanced from BLU to RED (likely to avoid messing with the green screen), but now he's wondering if he can get back there to keep going.
• The Kill Count for Too Many Cooks stops before it can get to the Numbers with a freeze frame of James waving to the camera with his name over him. Then, just like in one of the most famous scenes from the short, James manages to noice a killer (later shown with the name A. Killer) sneaking up on him in the background. He manages to escape and goes to hide... only to find Katie Adkins, the very actress he is referencing, hiding in the closet he hoped to hide in.
  Katie: Get your own spot!
  James: Oh, sorry. (runs away but pauses in the hallway) Wait a minute, this is my house!
  A. Killer appears next to James and everything goes to freeze frame as he strikes
• Throughout the Kill Count for Never Hike Alone 2, Zoran is quietly standing behind James dressed as an FBI agent (referencing his cameo role in the movie), which James only notices with a Jump Scare right before the "Get to the Numbers" transition.
  • When discussing Zoran's cameo, James wonders if he's wearing pants below screen.
• For the "Get to the Numbers" gag in the Treevenge Kill Count, a tree pops up and announces its intention to seek revenge on James for his part in the suffering of its kind. James responds that the tree is plastic and that he and Chelsea bought it online, causing it to have an existential crisis, so James offers to take it out drinking to make it feel better; the tree happily accepts this, stating its intention to get drunk and bad mouth its ex at Rockefeller Center.
  • When James talks about how the movie kills a baby in the ending, he reveals that he hasn't seen The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) and, in a worried tone, asks if it's worse.
• In the Hannibal kill count, the character of Paul Krendler's references to Washington being "... full of corn-pone, country pussy" leads James (along with Chelsea and Zoran) to sing a glorious brief, profane parody of "Corn Puddin'" from the first season of Schmigadoon!.
• In the Wolf Creek kill count, when James sees the protagonist trio's road map:
  James: After they pass The Powerpuff Girls^note  One of the cities is called Townsville, which is the main setting for the Powerpuff Girls. and the happy giant with broken knees—
  • The "To The Numbers" bit which features Zoran attempting to snipe James. After missing him, he says that he'll get him in the sequel's "To the Numbers", only to be told by an off-camera Chelsea that they won't be doing Wolf Creek 2 right now.
    Zoran: Ahhh, bloody hell!
  • The way James says this line when giving the Dull Machete to either of the corpses seen in Mick's place.
    "I didn't even want to count them."

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