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Funny / The Joker

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Looking for my Funny Moments in addition or in spite of the carnage I've inflicted over the years? Well, you'll find them all right here, in this very, very trope! I guarantee you... you'll have the laugh of a lifetime!

  • The Hostess Fruit Pies ad of long ago, where I stole a kid's report card.
    • The best part of that is, if you didn't know it's a Hostess Fruit Pies ad, it's totally believable for good old me to do that in canon just to be a dick.
    • Heck, whether you know it's an advertisement or not, it's easy to see me doing that just for the hell of it.
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  • Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth is a very dark, very mind-screwy, and very scary comic. Nonetheless, just seeing me slap the Bat-butt's... well... ass is unbelievably hilarious.
  • The entirety of The Batman Adventures #16:
    • Life in the world of comic book publishing:
      "But I just draw! I can't write!"
    • Good old yours truly, disguised as an ice cream vendor in the dead of winter, has this exchange with a kid I'm about to kidnap:
      Me: Ice cream! Bomb pops! Hey, kid! How about some ice cream?
      Kid: Ice cream? But it's freezing out here.
      Me: Well then, how about a violent abduction instead?
      (cue the goons, who grab the kid and stuff him into the ice cream cart headfirst)
      Me: Ah, what the heck. Take both, my treat. It's the season of giving, after all.
  • Another one for moi, from Joker: Devil's Advocate:
    Amoral Attorney: We're getting down to the wire, Joker. No outbursts like the other day, please.
    Me: So I give a show. You want them to think I'm nuts, right?
    Amoral Attorney: I don't want them to think you're guilty. There's no compelling evidence to connect you to the stamp murders. The city's case is weak. You could walk if they can't pin the murders on you.
    Me: It's a no-brainer, Milt. Just prove I'm crazy and it doesn't matter if they connect me to some poisoned stamps.
    Amoral Attorney: Oh, it's that easy to show insanity?
    (I slam my face into a metal table without the slightest hesitation; and bring it up to show an unflinching grin and a face speckled with blood)
    • Later in the comic, after I got sentenced to death, the warden once asked me what I wanted for my last meal. I told him I wanted "Something light. Perhaps a fruit salad with fresh strawberries. And the tiniest dash of sweet cream. Cholesterol, you know." However, the warden pointed out that strawberries wouldn't be in season for three months. My response? "Oh... I can wait."
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    • And the first time I got sent to Blackgate Prison, I get this lovely lecture from a tough guard, who looks a lot like Drill Sergeant Nasty:
      DeFillips: You're in Six Block. That's Death Row. Here's the rules. Touch a guard and it's an axe handle for you. Hit a guard and it's the axe handle and mace. Stab a guard and it's the handle, the mace and thirty days in the box. Kill a guard and God help you. Any questions, clownboy?
      Me: How do they get those little pimientos in the olives?
  • Detective Comics #826 - all of it.
  • And here, we have this little gem from Steve Englehart's Dark Detective mini:
    Me (After being threatened to drop out of the race for Governor by Two-Face): Who does he think he is? Who two people does he think he is? Trying to influence an election... this ain't Florida!
  • The Arkham Redemption. It ain't often that I pull one over on ol' Batsy, but when I do, it's Worth It!
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  • From Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?:
    Harley Quinn: "I can't believe he's gone."
    Me: "I can't believe he didn't die when he first dressed like a giant bat and jumped off the roof."
  • This quote from Batman: Cacophony:
    "All I want is to have a good time! And to annoy Batman whenever possible. And to one day murder Batman and defile his carcass sexually. And a pony."
  • Lest we forget of a certain magic trick. Though some people would call that one awesome instead of funny. Meh, I can work with both.
  • John Arcudi's "Auteurism" (Legends of the Dark Knight #162-63) has several of these for good ol' Mistah J, but the crowning one has to be the line that I deliver to a henchman who - surprise, surprise - thinks that my latest plan makes no sense.
    "If I explained it in terms that a fly could understand, maybe the fly can explain it to you."
  • And then there's the Batman: The Brave and the Bold episode ''Joker: The Vile and the Villainous!" In my own twisted way, I'm the hero, teaming up with the Weeper so Gotham can be safe for Criminals once more. How, you ask? By stopping Batman from building the Bat-Probe, a device which tracks crimes as they happen. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Two Words: Joker's Boner.
  • And of course, my finishing move in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe is just perfect. Well, except if you live in the good old US of A, where they zoomed the camera in on my marvelous gun-wielding visage but cut out the money shot! Blegh! Except then those lucky kids in that odd buncha continents just east of America got to see the whole thing uncut! Weird, but hey, I can take it! Heck, it was so perfect, that wannabe Clayface Shammalammadingdong or whatever his name was bogarted my finisher for his next game! It ain't rippin' off if you're copying the best, kids!
  • You're a mean one, mister Joker...
    • In Yet Another Christmas Carol, Batman: Noel, on my visit to the Cratchit family, I brought in some weapons (a pipe, a wrench, and a revolver) in an attempt to get old man Bob to play a game of Clue with his son Tim and get him to "solve the mystery of the missing moolah", all while making reference to said game. When the old man tried hitting me with a baseball bat, I responded, "C'mon, Bobby-boy, you know there's no baseball in Clue," then whacked him in the face with a wrench. I then pulled out a revolver and threatened to shoot the man with a question: "Who killed Bob?!?" And when he was scared out of his wits, I shouted in triumph: "I WIN!!! I KILLED BOB IN THE KITCHEN WITH THE REVOLVER!!" (However, the Bat got out of his dirt nap after a Bad Future I had showed him and saved the day, but still, that was fun!)
  • And the video game Batman: Arkham Asylum has me, in a thong (in word only, but still).
  • How 'bout my answering machine? Leave your message at the sound of the shriek.
    Hugo Strange: I take it I've reached Mr Joker?
  • In the ninth and final issue of my comic from the good ol' 70s, Catwoman and I were both trying to kill the same guy for our plans. So at one point, what appears to be a certain Dork Knight finds her at her lair. So after making out with him and then locking him in a cage, it turns out it wasn't Bat-Breath. It was ME!
  • That episode of Batman: The Animated Series when I thought I inherited $100,000,000, and found I had to pay taxes on it. I quickly went about doing it so I wouldn't go to jail for tax evasion. As I said then, I'm crazy enough to mess with Batman, but the IRS, NO THANK YOU!
  • During Bat-brain and Boy Blunder's first guest appearance on The New Scooby-Doo Movies, I was asked about Mrs. Baker's whereabouts by Daphne. I responded by saying that Mrs. Baker was Scooby's mother!
  • Me and my minions go out to Gotham Museum to make some art and visit the lovely Vicki Vale.
  • In my very first appearance on Batman: The Animated Series (the second episode aired!! How DARE they put that flea-ridden freakshow Kirk Langstrom before me?!!), I escaped from Arkham on Christmas, kidnapped Commissioner Gordon, Summer Gleason and Harvey Bullock, interrupted the broadcast of It's a Wonderful Life, arranged for a train to be destroyed, set a giant laser-shooting doll loose in Gotham, all to trick Batman into my clutches and... get him to fall for the ol' Pie In the Face Gag. Not an acid pie or anything, just a regular old cream pie! Hey, a classic is a classic.
    Joker: HAAHAHAHAAH, I can't stand it!
    • On my second appearance on the show, my plot was to drive Gotham crazy with a laughing-induced gas while me and my henchmen robbed everyone blind. However, when old Batsie showed up to stop us, I introduced him to my newest pal, Captain Clown! Sure, he was a robot wearing a clown mask, but he was the best friend this psycho killer ever had.
    Joker: Captain, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship!
    • After I had Captain Clown stuff Batsie into a trash can, I was nice enough to stab a few airholes in it before Clown threw it overboard.
    Joker: Oops, looks like our air holes are water holes too! Water shame!
    • My legendary "Laughing Fish" caper, especially those hee-larious ads for Joker Fish I hijacked into Gotham's TV network. Granted, my talent pool was somewhat limited, so I had to use Harley for my female lead, and my two Mooks for kid actors. (For the life of me I still can't remember their names...)


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