Funny / The Iron Giant

• Giant metal robot + cannonballing into a lake + giant wave + epic Oh, Crap! expression = Hilarious
  • After Dean is deposited on the road:
    Farmer: (pulling up in truck full of pigs) Hey!
    Dean: Yeah?
    Farmer: You're right in the middle of the road!
    Dean: Yeah?!
    Farmer: (Beat) All right. (drives off)
    Dean: I think that's enough fun for one day.
  • The raccoon desperately trying to swim in the opposite direction that the water is flowing.
  • Dean cowers from the incoming wave behind the newspaper he's reading. The headline on it? "Disaster seen as catastrophe looms."
• The "Duck and Cover" PSA Hogarth's class has to sit through is hilarious for how over the top and cheesy it is. Doubly hilarious is the fact that this is exactly what Cold War PSA's were like in real life.
• The entire scene of Hogarth and Annie trying to eat dinner while the Giant's hand is crawling through the house, with special mention going to Hogarth's "really unusual" grace (he yells things to the robot hand and tries to incorporate it into his grace). Words don't do it justice.
  Hogarth: Oh my God! Um... Uh, oh, my God, we... thank you... for the food that Mom has put in front of us and— STOP!— uh, the Devil from... doing bad things and— GET OUT OF HERE!— uh, Satan? GO, GO!... so that we may live in peace. Amen.
• The diner scene.
  Dean: (abject unease) Yes...I mean, NO! CALL ME DEEEEEEAN!
  • Context: Hogarth has lost his squirrel, his mom has been getting on his case about bringing stray animals home, and Dean happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
    Dean: (through clenched teeth) Found your pet.
    Hogarth: Great, where is it?
    Dean: (suddenly starts to crack) It's in my leg, man. The squirrel's in my pants, Hogarth. I'm trying not to wig out here.
    Hogarth: Don't wig out.
    Dean: (nervously) Oo-kay, he's heading North now. (Jumps up from the table, shaking his leg) Ugh, I'm sorry kid. (To the other customers) I'd like to apologize to everyone in advance for this! (Proceeds to unzip his pants, letting the squirrel out which causes mayhem in the cafe)
    Annie: (glares at Hogarth and Dean)
    Dean: (grins sheepishly) Check please.
    Hogarth: (smiles)
    Random background customer: IT'S A RAT!
  • Among the things that happen while the squirrel is running along the tables is that a man does a perfect Spit Take right into the face of the customer across from him with a full mouth of coffee.
  • This may not have been the joke they were going for, but notice that the radio suddenly gets louder once Dean unzips his fly, making it appear as though the music was coming from inside his pants.
  • Before all that, there's this amusing bit of background chatter from the waiters.
    "...so he wants us to hold the mayo and the mustard. How about just hold the flavor altogether?"
• Hogarth on espresso — after Dean's warned Hogarth that espresso is "Coffee-zilla". Whoever animated that lip sync should be proud.^note Fun fact: it was Brad Bird himself!
  Hogarth: (talking ridiculously fast as he struts around the room, doing dramatic gestures as he emphasises certain points) So she moved me up a grade because I wasn't fitting in. So, now I'm even more not fitting in. I was getting good grades. You know, like all A's. So, my mom says, "You need stimulation.", and I go, "No, I'm stimulated enough right now."
  Dean: (chuckles) That's for sure.
  Hogarth: She goes, "Uh-uh, you don't have a challenge. You need a challenge." So, now I'm challenged, all right. I'M CHALLENGED TO HOLD ON TO MY LUNCH MONEY, because of all the big mooses who wanna pound me because I'm a shrimpy dork who thinks he's smarter than them. But I don't think I am smarter, I just do the stupid homework! If everyone else just did the stupid homework, they could move up a grade and get pounded, too! (slumps down into the seat with giant overeager smile) Is there any more coffee?!
  • What makes this whole rant even better is that it seems like Dean is genuinely interested in what he's talking about, meaning he's keeping up with him.
  • Hogarth claiming that he drinks coffee because he's "hip", then when Dean gives the "coffee-zilla" warning, Hogarth says in an over-the-top "cool" voice, "I said... I'm hip!".
• Hogarth meeting Kent.
  Kent: Hey there, scout! Kent Mansley. I work for the government-
  Door: (SLAM)
  • And when Hogarth opens the door for him again
    Kent: (Cheerfully) Hey there, scout! (Sternly) Kent Mansley. I work for the government.
  • ...eventually culminating in...
    (Hogarth opens the door for Kent yet again)
    Hogarth: (exasperated) Kent Mansley, ya work for the government.
    Kent: (the tone of his voice suggesting he was) I... wasn't gonna say that.
• Kent during his investigations.
  Kent Mansley: (gets in car) Enormous beast, yeah... Biggest thing in this town is probably the homecoming quee-ohmyGOD! (pan out to reveal half the car is gone)
  • As he runs away, the Giant's hand reaches for the rest.
• Dean meets the giant robot.
  Hogarth: His name is Dean. We like Dean.
  Giant: (Beat) DEAN.
• The entire scene of Hogarth sneaking the Giant's hand out of the house.
  • The scene where Hogarth walks into the bathroom and finds the Giant's hand unrolling the toilet paper. It turns to face him, then wags its severed wrist like a dog would a tail.
  • Hogarth trying to push the Giant's hand out of the bathroom window, where Annie and Kent listen in out of concern (they think he's grunting because he's constipated).
    • "You know, this is why it's so important to really chew your food." The look Mansley receives from Annie is absolutely priceless.
  • Once the Giant's hand falls outside and crashes to the ground, Annie assumes that her son fell out of the window and opens the door... to see Hogarth pretending to be in the middle of using the toilet as a diversion. Hilarity ensues.
    Hogarth: MOM! A LITTLE PRIVACY?!
    Annie: (mortified) Sorry! (quickly slams the door, unaware that Kent is peeking inside, and accidentally slams his head with the door)
    Annie: Sorry...he's been acting strange, lately.
    Kent: ...that hurts.
• The Giant hiding against a billboard, saluting with one hand and holding a cheeseburger in the other, is a wonderful sight gag.
• The "Scrap and Art" scene.
  • "There are two kinds of metal in this yard: scrap and art. If you gotta eat one of them, eat the scrap. What you currently have IN YOUR MOUTH IS ART!"
  • And then the Giant holds it up and says, "Art?".
  • The Giant examines and modifies the half-sculpture that he removes from his mouth, and Dean admits, "That's... not bad".
  • And then Dean decides to have the Giant help him make art, which is also a heartwarming moment.
    • It once again becomes funny when Hogarth shows up.
      Hogarth: Heeeeey! I thought you were in trouble! I had to ditch this weird guy staying at our house, it took me hours to shake him, I kill myself to get out here, and you have him doing... arts and crafts.
      Dean: You got a problem with arts and crafts, little man?
      Hogarth: He’s a giant robot, Dean. It’s a little… undignified.
• Kent and General Rogard's phone conversation.
  Kent: This thing... this thing is a menace. It tore up a power station, it- it caused a train wreck!
  Gen. Rogard: What did? Tell me again, Mansley, and this time... listen to yourself.
  Kent: (sighs) A giant... metal monster.
  Gen. Rogard: (laughs hysterically)
  • The clincher to that part of the scene is the ridiculous looking oven mitt in clear view of Kent as Rogard laughs his ass off...which Kent promptly turns around in annoyance. Perfectly conveys what Rogard thinks of his investigation thus far.
  • Mansley throwing a tantrum when the phone won't sit in its cradle.
    Mansley: WHAT YOU *$&@!! (repeatedly slams receiver while cursing gibberish; Hogarth & Annie turn and look at Mansley; Mansley inhales deeply as he recomposes himself) Hi. Thanks for the use of your phone.
• The Giant's final solution to stopping a stuck car horn: *FLING!*
• Rogard falling for Hogarth and Dean's ruse that the Giant is one of Dean's art projects, also a funny moment. He takes out his frustration on Kent, while Hogarth watches smugly from the window.
  Mansley: Sir, I... Sir, listen! I....
  Gen. Rogard: Step outside, Mansley...
  Mansley: Yes, sir. (sighs)
  (Gilligan Cut)
  Gen. Rogard: YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH HARDWARE I BROUGHT OUT HERE?! YOU JUST BLEW MILLIONS OF UNCLE SAM'S DOLLARS OUTTA YER BUTT!
  • Even better when you find out what was ORIGINALLY recorded.
  • And while Dean and Annie are talking, we can hear Rogard still yelling and we can't hear what he's saying (apart from the few seconds at the end where Rogard can be heard yelling, “Are you out of your mind?!”), but we do get this part when we cut back to Rogard and Kent.
    "You'll be chief inspector of subway toilets by the time I'm finished with you!"
  • Before that, the way Mansey dejectedly mumbles "Yes sir..." when Rogard sternly asks him to step outside. He knows perfectly well that he's officially lost this battle.
  • And all the while, Hogarth's just enjoying the show, complete with a self-satisfied, shit-eating smirk.
    "Goodbye Kent, and all that implies."
• Kent Mansley muttering in his car about Hogarth's unusual name.
  Kent: What kind of a sick person names a kid 'Hogarth'? Might as well call him Zeppo or something.
  • And when he makes the connection between said the name and the writing on the BB gun...
    Kent: ...HOG HUG?! HOGARTH HUGHES!!
• Not to mention the blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment of him checking out Annie's chest when she opens the door all the way. Then again, who can blame him?
  "...well. Hello there."
• The montage of Kent pestering Hogarth in the house about what he saw in the woods, culminating in Hogarth bellowing at the top of his lungs, "I'M GOIN' OOOOOOOOOOOOUT!".
  • Doubles as a Moment of Awesome for the art department, who had to create new layouts and background for every single one of those cuts, some of which last less then a second!
  • When it cuts back to Dean on the phone, the Giant can be seen waiting anxiously by the window of his trailer like a kid trying to get their parent's attention. Eventually it wanders off and starts eating Dean's sculptures.
• YMMV on this one, but as a truck with Rogard, Mansley, and another soldier are driving away with a pissed off Giant in pursuit, Mansley is yelling at the driver: "DRIVE, BABY, DRIVE! STEP ON IT, FLOOR IT! IT'S GAINING ON US! FASTER, FASTER, FASTER! (in a high-pitched voice) HURRY!"
  • And right before this, after watching the Giant destroy a pair of tanks effortlessly:"LETS GET OUT OF HERE!"
• The scene where Hogarth is going home and the Giant is following him.
  Hogarth: No. No. Me go. You stay. No following. (Giant continues following him, until Hogarth gets annoyed) I told you! I'll come back tomorrow! NOW, STAY! (Hogarth walks off and Giant continues following him) (getting frustrated) NO, NO, NO! BAD ROBOT!
• When Hogarth demonstrates "wig out" to the Giant earlier on, the Giant mimics him until Hogarth says, "No, no, don't do that! That's the kind of stuff that makes them shoot at you."
  • Later, when the Giant is following Hogarth home, after Hogarth tries several times to tell him to stay in the forest:
    Hogarth: Look, you can't go stomping around and you can't come home with me. My mom will wig out.
    Giant: (mimics the funny face Hogarth made earlier) Ah-ah-ah-ooh!
    Hogarth: That's right.
• This line when Hogarth is trying to figure out what to do with his new friend:
  Hogarth: -and we can't tell Ripley's Believe It or Not! because they wouldn't believe it.
  • This moment becomes even funnier when you notice that Giant is starting to fall asleep. Even giant robots get bored, apparently.
• Not in the movie, but on the DVD, there's a gag pencil test of Mansley lighting his pipe only to have it spontaneously combust in his face.
• Dean dumping his coffee onto the ground and silently trudging back into his house when he realizes Hogarth is trying to coax him into hiding the giant for him.
  • "37 minutes later..."
• Hogarth's "You are who you choose to be" speech while held by the giant at gunpoint is one of the film's most touching scenes. That said, the way he winces while saying, "Choose," implying that he's not entirely sure whether or not this will work, is amusingly human.
• When Hogarth tricks Mansley into eating a laxative-filled sundae ("Landslide... It's new. Very new.”). Then Mansley, losing patience, starts yelling at Hogarth, without paying to mind the other customers who are nearby. Watch here.
  Hogarth: First, you take a chocolate bar. Any bar'll do. Do you mind if I...?
  Kent Mansley: No, knock yourself out, skipper.
  Hogarth: (crumbles up coca-lax) You crumble up the chocolate into little pieces. (stirs the ice cream) Then you kind of just stir it into the ice cream. See?
  Kent Mansley: Yes, I see. What do you call this again?
  Hogarth: Landslide. It's new. Very new. (drops the coca-lax wrapper in the garbage)
  Kent Mansley: Mmmm. Landslide. Top notch. Mmmm. (while Hogarth makes himself a "Landslide" with a regular chocolate bar) You know, Hogarth, we live in a strange and wondrous time: the Atomic Age. But there's a dark side to progress, Hogarth. Ever hear of Sputnik?
  Hogarth: Yeah, first satellite in space.
  Kent Mansley: Foreign satellite, Hogarth, and all that implies. Even now, it orbits overhead — Boop! Boop! — watching us. We can't see it, but it's there, much like that giant thing in the woods. We don't know what it is, or what it can do. (ominously) I don't feel safe, Hogarth. Do you?
  Hogarth: What are you talking about?
  Kent Mansley: What am I talking about? WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?! I'm talking about your god-darned security, Hogarth! While you're snoozing in your widdle jammies, back in Washington, we're wide awake and worried! Why? Because everyone wants what we have, Hogarth! EVERYONE! You think this metal man is fun, but who built it? The Russians? The Chinese? Martians? Canadians?! I DON'T CARE! All I know is we didn't build it, and that's reason enough to assume the worst and blow it to kingdom come! Now, you are going to tell me about this thing, you are going to lead me to it, and we are going to destroy it before it destroys us! (his stomach gurgles) ...hold that thought and stay right there!
  (Kent rushes to the restroom. As soon as he's gone, Hogarth rushes out the door.)
  • Chris McDonald is hilarious every time he suddenly goes into a tirade. You can tell he really enjoyed the role of Kent Mansley.
  • Later, we see a montage of Kent investigating the Giant's trail of destruction and constantly being plagued with a sudden need to go to the bathroom, ending with the undignified image of him coming up from behind a bush in the woods and zipping his pants.
• The cheesy 50s B-movie Hogarth watches, full of Bad "Bad Acting" and poor science:
  Scientist: (flatly) The porpoise can communicate telepathically.
• Though it quickly takes a near-tragic turn, Hogarth and the Giant playing in the junkyard is a hilariously accurate depiction of adolescent children playing, especially the way the Giant grouches at having to be the bad guy and Hogarth begrudgingly allowing him to be Superman instead.
• Though what it leads to is pretty dark, the moment where Kent, as part of the U.S Army convoy leaving the area, gets to prove he was right about the Giant: he sees Dean and Hogarth pass on a motorbike and looks behind him to see the Giant looming over the town, turns back to driving, then realizes what he just saw and looks back, promptly rear-ending the U.S. Army truck in front of him and then getting rear-ended by the truck behind him. Kent then staggers out of his totaled car, pointing at the Giant while yelling about how he was right all along.
  Kent Mansley: Argh! Urgh! Stop! Look! Behind You! THE GIANT, IT'S ATTACKING! STOMPING THE TOWN! I WAS RIGHT! LOOK, DAMN YOU!
  • Also, when General Rogard stands up and sees the Giant for himself, Kent can still be heard pointing and shouting in the background.
• Although it takes place in an extremely dark moment, the look on Mansley and Rogard's faces when they realize just what an enraged Giant is capable of is pretty funny.
• There's a moment of bathos in the moments after Kent Mansley idiotically orders the nuclear strike. There's also some black comedy in Mansley's hopelessly floundering response.
  Gen. Rogard: That missile is targeted to the Giant's CURRENT POSITION! WHERE'S THE GIANT, MANSLEY?!
  Mansley: Wha...? [looks over at the Giant, standing five feet away from him] Oh... We can duck and cover! There's a fallout shelter right there!
  Rogard: There's no way to survive this, you IDIOT!
  Mansley: You mean...we're all going to-
  Rogard: To DIE, Mansley. For our country.
  Mansley: Screw our country! I wanna live! [jumps into a Jeep and tries to drive off before crashing into the Giant's metal hand]
  • Before that, the sheer panic in Mansley's voice as he shouts into the radio, "LAUNCH THE MISSILE NOW!", also qualifies as black comedy. It indicates that Mansley has lost any form of common sense!
• In the earlier script, General Rogard has Mansley arrested and says the following line as a great way to mock one of Mansley's signature quotes:
  Rogard: As for you, Mansley. You're under arrest... "and all that that implies".

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