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Funny / The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

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  • During the intro, when Gandalf meets Thorin in Bree, he explains how he came across the note in Black Speech.
    Gandalf: I ran into some unsavory characters whilst travelling along the Greenway. They mistook me for a vagabond.
  • Also from the into, once the waitress brings him his food and drink he sets his pipe aside... right into a bowl of what looks like porridge.
  • When they are running to Beorn's house from the orcs, the extremely fat Bombur falls down and has trouble getting to his feet... but once he does, he outruns the rest of the Company, even Gandalf.
    • Bombur builds up such momentum that he flies straight into the huge wooden door of Beorn's house and bounces off it like a beach ball. The others then spend a tense few minutes trying desperately to break it down, until Thorin (the tallest of the Dwarves) arrives and simply lifts the latch.
    • Made even funnier by the fact that the cast's reactions to Bombur outpacing them was not faked. They really were shocked that Stephen Hunter was outrunning them.
  • For those who have read the book, Beorn chasing the company in bear form, only for them to escape by running into his own house. Then they lock him out.
    • The Extended Edition has Gandalf trying to introduce them to him the next morning, two by two, as he does in the book. It has to be seen to be believed.
  • When Bilbo wakes up to find the Dwarves sitting around Beorn's table, their host is pouring milk into a tankard the length and width of Fíli's arm. Fíli spends the rest of the scene deciding how to tackle it.
  • The Company going in circles once they lose their way in Mirkwood. Seems the angle they were going for was something along the lines of "High as a fricking kite".
    • The Extended Edition greatly expands the Mirkwood scenes. At one point they reach the river, which they had been warned not to touch. There being no bridge, Bilbo carefully navigates a tangle of branches, growing more and more uneasy. When he reaches the far bank, he turns to warn the dwarves to wait — and discovers them all crawling through the branches at once. His little "Oh" and expression of total (dazed) irritation are what truly sell it.
  • When Bilbo trips over spiderwebs while trying to get back down the tree, you can hear him go "Oh, come on!" right before he falls.
  • After the dwarves are captured, Legolas rather meanly takes Glóin's locket, opens it, and asks if the picture inside is of Glóin's brother. Nope, that's his wife. "And what is this horrid creature? A goblin mutant?" Nope, that's little Gimli.
    • Legolas's slight twitch of an eyebrow that says, "That's what little Dwarves look like?" completely sells the scene.
    • Extra funny (and weirdly heartwarming) when you consider how close Legolas and Gimli will get later on.
  • This exchange:
    Kíli: Aren't you going to search me? I could have anything down my trousers.
    Tauriel: Or nothing.
    • It's the shit-eating grin on his face that sells it.
  • When Tauriel saves Kíli from several spiders, the look on his face translates best into "I like you." Nothing like a battle against giant arachnids to spark true love.
  • When the elves are searching the dwarves and taking their weapons, they keep finding knives hidden in various parts of Fíli's clothing.
    • During the Extended Disarming in the forest, Fíli offers up two knives just to move the process along. Then the elf pulls out another knife that Fíli had been hoping they wouldn't find.
    • And when the guard puts him in the cell, he leans in and pulls yet another dagger out of Fíli's jacket.
    • And later when the Company escapes and is fighting their way free, Fíli pulls out at least two or three more knives, showing that the elves still missed some!
  • Balin's exasperation at Thorin telling off Thranduil instead of trying to make a deal with him so they could get out.
  • Kíli warning Tauriel that his talisman will curse any non-dwarf who reads its inscription, and then revealing that he's just trolling her.
  • After Bilbo frees the dwarves, he leads them to the barrel room and tells them to get in them. The reaction when Bilbo pulls a lever and drops them in the river is hilarious.
    • Then Bilbo congratulates himself for finding a way to sneak the dwarves out of Mirkwood...and then realizing he's forgotten to find a way to get himself out. You can almost see his line of thinking here: "Ah, perfect! Now to just get into my... barrel... oh dear."
  • Legolas once again shows off how light and nimble he is (and takes an opportunity to annoy some dwarves) by jumping onto the dwarves' heads, and using them as a perch to fire at orcs while racing down the river. Which really pisses off the dwarves, naturally.
  • During the barrel chase, Bombur gets thrown out of the rapids and starts rolling down the mountain, hitting every single orc in his path. This goes on for almost a minute.
    • And then his feet pop out of the bottom and his arms stick out the sides, showing that he's armed to the teeth and goes spinning into orcs, taking them out one by one.
  • How do you make the above scenes even funnier? Set it to Rolling Down the Hole from the Rankin-Bass cartoon of The Hobbit.
  • Radagast's appearance in the Witch-King's tomb becomes hilarious when you realize just how difficult a time Gandalf had getting in. We've just watched Gandalf struggle over ridiculously steep, crumbling stairs and slippery slanted pathways over bottomless pits, and then he turns around and Radagast is just... there. "Gandalf, did you know there's a lift right over there?"
  • The Dwarves hiding in the barrels are convinced Bard has just sold them out. The next moment, they're smothered in fish.
  • In the extended edition, upon their arrival in Laketown, the dwarves are spotted by some guards. After said guards get knocked out by the company, they are quickly hidden by the witnesses using fishnets and crates, which is in itself funny. But to add insult to injury, when one of the guards starts to wake up, a woman promptly drops a flowerpot on his head to knock him out again.
    • And that little exchange between Bard and Braga, the city watch captain:
      Bard: Braga, your wife would look lovely in this! [holds out a skimpy singlet]
      Braga: What do you know about my wife?
      Bard: [with a shrug] I know her as well as any man in this town.
      [Braga angrily takes the singlet from his hand and storms off, with the guards in tow]
  • How the Company enters Bard's house:
    Sigrid: Da... why are there dwarves coming out of our toilet?
    Tilda: Will they bring us luck?
    • Dwalin threatens to rip Bain's arms off if he tells anyone about it.
    • Bilbo's annoyed expression as he comes out next.
    • Poor Bifur, who has to spit some water out.
  • Stephen Fry hamming it up as the Master of Lake-town. Sure, he's a horrible, awful person, but he's just so fun.
    • The Master's annoyance at the rioting and attempted coup Bard may try is nothing compared to his utter outrage that the town may force an election upon him.
    • From the Extended Edition:
      Master of Laketown: Mark my words, that trouble-making bargeman is behind all this. No one else would have the—
      Alfrid: Bollocks, sire? Ram and goat sautéed in a lovely little mushroom gravy.
      [cue Jabba Table Manners]
    • Later:
      Alfrid: They see [Bard] as a leader, someone they can truly admire. Modest. Intelligent. Handsome. Athletic.
      The Master: Yes, he's clearly modelling himself on me, but that's no crime.
    • When we see the inside of the master's house, there's a portrait of him next to his bed, where he looks quite elegant, refined and affluent. Then we see him wake up, unshaven, with his hair made a complete mess, filthy and in dull, old pijamas. Can be seen here.
  • When the Company departs from Lake-town to Erebor, Bofur wakes up, hungover, under a dining table, and realizes it's time to go, unaware that he's already been left behind.
    Bofur: By my beard, is that the time?!? [sits up and promptly smacks head off table]
    • The way he takes one last drink as he leaves, still hurrying out the door without a pause as he finishes it.
    • And then light-heartedly asking the other dwarves left behind if they missed the boat too, like they’re fellow commuters who missed a public bus.
    • Bofur telling Kíli, who's dying of orc poison, incapacitated and delirious, "don't move" so he can run out and get some kingsfoil to treat it. The look on Kíli's face - "I would kill you if only I could move" - is priceless.
  • The scene where one orc trying to flee in a boat gets catapulted by another dead orc dropping onto the other end, flying right up to the balcony where Legolas decapitates it.
  • After Legolas' fight with Bolg, which he almost loses, he gets a nosebleed, and has an utterly confused look on his face as he stares at the blood he wiped off of his face. Made even funnier because in this film trilogy's predecessor, Legolas rarely came out of a battle with so much as a smudge of dirt. One can almost hear him thinking, "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!"
  • Kíli, in a delirious haze, rationalises that the woman of his dreams in front of him and treating him for his wounds must be a hallucination because the real Tauriel is (to him) far away, and so proceeds to tell her how much he's attracted to her. Thankfully, she either reciprocates or finds it sweet.
    • Probably unintentionally funny, but Kíli is lying on the kitchen table, with his head inexplicably resting in a huge bowl of walnuts.
    • Just as unintentional, but just as funny, the shot of Tauriel chanting elvish with a glow behind her head, which was seen twice in a minute.
  • When Tauriel uses an Elvish chant to treat Kíli, we cut to Óin turning his ear trumpet in her direction as if it improves the reception. Hoping to pick up some tricks maybe?
  • When Bilbo finds out that Thorin and Co. want him to steal the Arkenstone:
    Bilbo: You want me to steal a jewel?
    Balin: A large, white jewel; yes.
    Bilbo: Is that all? Only, I imagine there's quite a few down there.
    • Watching Bilbo descend awkwardly down the stairs after Balin reminds him not to wake up the dragon, only to turn around and find he's scurried off. Bilbo is not impressed.
    • When Bilbo gets to the huge chamber, he whispers "Hello?" and knocks awkwardly on the inside of the stone doorway. A few tense seconds later, we get this gem: "You're not at home. Not at home. Good. Good, good, good..." It's the nervous habit the hobbit has of talking to himself, as well as his absolutely minimal attempt to make sure a homicidal dragon isn't "home", that sells it.
    • Bilbo is (fruitlessly) searching for the Arkenstone. He picks up a large white jewel, eyes it, then tosses it away. When it lands and clinks off all the coins, he tells it to shush.
    • The best? When Bilbo accidentally awakens Smaug. There’s no look of horror. No dramatic or even comedic turning. No "Oh God what have I done?" Bilbo just puts his head on his hand, almost a facepalm, and has that look on his face. "Yup. Just my luck..."
      • While Smaug's eyes are first revealed, Bilbo justifiably tries to run the other way. Then he notices that something in that direction is moving as well. The camera pans out to reveal an awesome shot of Smaug's truly enormous size... with Bilbo in the middle, pointing to one side then the other before realizing how big Smaug is, followed by the above face palm. Then Bilbo attempts to sneak away, but quickly sits down when Smaug, still asleep, shifts closer to him.
      • When Smaug's jaws are perilously close to Bilbo and his breath is ruffling Bilbo's hair, our intrepid hero...has to waft away the smell of said breath with a brief "When's the last time you brushed your teeth?" look.
    • After Bilbo puts the Ring on to hide himself from Smaug, he bravely stands up. But then when Smaug speaks, Bilbo's mouth twitches, before he kneels down as Smaug comes close to him, before he's eventually lying down on the gold as Smaug's body hovers over him. When Smaug gets too close for comfort, Bilbo stands his ground for a moment and then runs like hell.
  • When Bilbo reveals himself and says that he came to see for himself whether the tale of Smaug were true, the dragon sweeps around the massive stone column and through a sea of gold coins...to pose dramatically for him and ask if he's impressed.
  • The way Bilbo says "Dwarves" when Smaug questions him about it, pretending he hasn't heard the word before: "Dw...dwwaaarves..?"
  • Thorin charging Smaug... with a wheelbarrow. It's his fierce composure and war-cry that sell it, as if he thinks the wheelbarrow's a sword or an axe.
    • Just a few minutes earlier, while running away from Smaug in the treasury, the whole back of Thorin's outermost coat was set on fire by the dragon's breath. How does Thorin react? He simply rolls out of the coat, jumps to his feet and, as if nothing at all had just happened, gives a simple command of "Let's go!"
      • And on the commentary, Peter Jackson reveals this little gag came about because Richard Armitage hated having to fight in the heavy cloak, and begged them to get rid of it somehow.
    • When the dwarves are leading Smaug toward the forges, Thorin begins to fall down a shaft in one of the lifts and Smaug chases after him. Dwalin jams it, then sends a weight down, so Thorin can go back up, passing Smaug, who has a rather priceless look of surprise on his face.
  • Thorin gives Smaug a short, dramatic, defiant speech about taking back what the dragon stole, and then the dwarves crack open a huge stone mold that contains a solid-gold statue of the last King Under the Mountain. Despite the dire circumstances, it’s hilarious to see the "Ooh... shiny..." look on Smaug's face.
  • "What did he promise you? A shaaarrre of the treasurrrre? As if it was his to give." It's the sheer sarcasm and arrogance in Smaug's voice that makes the line hilarious in an otherwise serious scene.
  • With all kudos to Method Acting of Benedict Cumberbatch; nevertheless, seeing his behind the scenes acting out Smaug's role is hilarious.
    • Even funnier since his helmet-mike makes him look like an anglerfish.
  • It's almost a blink and you'll miss it moment, but when Bard realizes the dragon has been awakened, he pulls down the last Black Arrow, the only weapon capable of slaying the terrible beast...from above the kitchen counter, where it's been hanging next to some dried herbs and cooking implements like Marie Barone's big fork and spoon.
  • From the DVD extras:
    Peggy Nesbitt [being interviewed]: This is Mary and Peggy, and we play Bard's children. Our dad's also in the movie, he plays Bofur.
    Jimmy Nesbitt [being separately interviewed]: Well, you know, the market's collapsed, they're of an age now, they can earn some money, and I need it, frankly.

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