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Funny / The Fairly OddParents

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"Now here's Cosmo with the weather."
"I thought you said 'feather'".
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    Season 0 
  • From the very first short:
    Cosmo: (deep voice) I'm Cosmo!
    Wanda: And I'm Wanda!
    Both: And we're... Your fairy godparents!
    Wanda: Whaddaya think, Timmy?
    Timmy: (beat) I think I'm calling the cops.
  • Vicky promises Timmy pizza after he does his chores, but Timmy tells her no anchovies. Guess what piece she saves for him has on it.
  • From "The Fairy Flu":
    Vicky: Because, my little artichoke, I'm 16 and you're 10. DO THE MATH!
  • From "Where's the Wand?", when Wanda magic wand has fallen into Vicky's costume box.
    Cosmo: A magic wand in the wrong hands could mean total disaster! And Vicky's hands are the worst hands around!

    Season 1 
  • From "Power Mad", after Vicky overloads the power, Cosmo and Wanda make a whole string of decoy channels meant to distract Vicky.
    • Immediately upon entering the first level of the game, Timmy gets hit by one of the spinning Spike Balls of Doom.
      Timmy: Wow, Cosmo and Wanda really made this game a lot—(is struck by a spike ball)tougher. (dies and respawns) I lost a life, on level one! What am I, four?!
    • Earlier when Timmy points out how literal they made his wish.
    Timmy: You guys don't do anything halfway, do you?
    Cosmo: Nope. We're two halves of a whole idiot!
    • Extra points for the hilarious spoof of The Jerry Springer Show (or, given that Wanda's hosting, Sally Jessy Raphael).
    Talk Show Host!Wanda: So, let me get this straight: you married...your car?
    (Cosmo is a hillbilly sitting next to a station wagon.....and a child size version of the vehicle- err... we mean mini compact car)
    Hillbilly!Cosmo: Yep! Now my kids get seventeen miles to the gallon!-OOBLEOBBLA!! (audience throws chair at him; angry honking noises heard in the direction of the audience; Hillbilly!Cosmo is knocked out of his boots)
    Cosmo: It's a show about NOTHING! ....... How do we know when it's over?
    Vicky: I do! (clicks channel changer)
  • Everything in "Transparents", from it being a character-establishing episode for Crocker, right down to the white, angelic Galactus Expy suit he gets in his world domination fantasy.
    Waxelplax: Sorry for all the jokes abo- (Crocker vaporizes her and the other teacher)
    • Crocker's "fairy detector chair", which is basically an electric chair in water.
    Crocker: I need them only to sit in my special fairy detector chair. If they survive, they're FAIRIES! If they don't, I HAVE TENURE!
    • Followed by Crocker offering them a seat in the chair. Cosmo offers a fish, which falls to the floor and causes Crocker to slip back into the chair with the fish. Which has the side effect of cooking the fish into fish sticks!
      Crocker: I'll be right back...after I chip off the dead skin.
    • Then there's Princepal Waxleplax's reasons for giving Timmy, Chester, AJ, and Crocker detention;
    Waxleplax: (To Timmy) You, for faking your show-and-tell project! (To Chester and AJ) You two for sneaking into the girl's restroom! (To Crocker) And you, for trapping me in a toilet-paper cocoon and telling two small boys they could enslave the Earth! That's not right!
    • Cosmo rambling on really fast about magic shows, than starts choking for reason.
    • Cosmo falling after becoming a human.
    Cosmo: Yippee! That hurt!
    Timmy: No, Cosmo. You're supposed to say, "Ouch!" when you're hurt!
    Cosmo: Oh. Yippee! That ouch!
  • This exchange from "Father Time":
    Present Cosmo: I hate lava lamps.
    Present Wanda: I know. They're really boring.
    1970's Cosmo: Oh, really? Like, what do you do for fun?
    (Cuts to an image of a lava lamp on a computer, 1970's and Present Cosmo and Wanda are in front of it)
    Cosmo: ...And you can download different lava!
    Young Billy Gates (driving by): Hey! That gives me an idea! Someday, I'll link every computer in the world together! I'll call it..."The Internet!"
    Billy: Duhhh... Okay! (drives off)
    1970's Wanda: Oh, that Billy Gates with his crazy ideas.
    • Later on when they get back to the present the Internet is now called the Timmy and vice versa.
      Timmy's Mom: "Internet! Breakfast is ready!"
    • Aaaaand this is where I'd put a trophy... IF I HAD ONE!!
    • Mr. Turner is outraged when he sees what Timmy did to his trophy.
      Mr. Turner: I'm so mad I wish beams of heat would come out of my eyes right now!
      [Cosmo raises his wand, but he's grabbed by Wanda]
      Wanda: No, ours is the one in the silly pink hat.
  • I have goats... IN MY PANTS!
  • This hilarious exchange:
    Cosmo: Hi Timmy, look, I'm a lawyer! *Poof* Now I'm a fireman, WHEEEEE! Now, I'm just a simple fairy-slash-lawyer-slash-fireman, but Jorgon misses the point, there are many redeeming qualities to Timmy. Isn't it true that you also wished for new shoes, sunglasses, butlers and shiny teeth?
    Timmy: Yes.
    Cosmo: Wow, what a selfish punk! The defense rests.
    Wanda: That was your laser targeted defense?
    Cosmo: I'm a fireman, not a laser technician. *Poof* Now I'm a laser technician!
    • And then after Timmy's punishment is announced:
    Cosmo: *Poof* Don't look at me. I'm just a coal miner.
  • "Spaced Out":
    • Timmy's Oh, Crap! moment:
      Wanda: Uh, Timmy...we've got some good news and some bad news.
      Timmy: What's the good news?
      Cosmo: The good news is the alien we got you is actually the prince of the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia.
      Wanda: And his parents are on their way here to destroy the Earth and rescue their son.
      Timmy: What's the bad news?
      Wanda: Oh, wait...that was the bad news...
      Timmy: Then what's the good news?!
      Cosmo: I found a nickel!
    • Cosmo's nickel:
      Cosmo: The good news is, I named my nickel Phillip!
      King Chang: What's the bad news?
      Cosmo: It's a GIRL nickel!
    • After Mark and his parents leave:
      Vicky: Hey, I found a nickel.
      Cosmo: PHILLIP!
    • "Will Timmy's secret ever be exposed? Will Cosmo and Phillip the nickel ever be reunited? Tune in next week for another exciting episode of The Fairly Oddparents!"
  • In the episode where Timmy wishes every day was Christmas, causing the other holiday mascots (all male) to get ticked off at him. In one scene, they rush to attack Timmy but stop short when they come underneath some mistletoe. They all immediately start shaking hands and saying things like, "You're a nice person/I like you as a friend" before resuming the chase.
  • "The Big Problem":
    Timmy: "What's going on? You said you just couldn't grant me more wishes. I didn't know you'd have to leave me too." *cries*
    Cosmo: "We didn't know that either! Apparently the other thing I'm chock full of is not knowing stuff."
    • Vicky loses Timmy because he wished himself older and frantically tries to find him with "Have you seen this twerp?" fliers.
    • The Running Gag of adult Timmy being called "creepy".
    • Nobody gets rid of creeps like Vicky!
    • "Finally! Does your head pop off?" "It's not supposed to."
    • This exchange as Timmy learns to drive and Cosmo and Wanda are disguised as fuzzy dice:
      Wanda: I'm carsick!
      Cosmo: I'm Cosmo!
    • Timmy goes to a grown-up movie and is grossed out by seeing two characters kissing. Then he sees his parents doing the same in the front row.
      Mr. Turner: Y'know, I bet Timmy would think this is gross.
      Timmy: [screams and covers his eyes] IT BURNS!
  • The Crimson Chin. Good lord, everything about the Crimson Chin, from his snap-transitions between emotions to his hammy overacting to his lampshadings of the medium.
    Timmy: Bitten by a radioactive handsome actor, Charles Hampton Indigo became the Crimson Chin!
    Charles: Has the radioactivity affected your love life? (bitten) AHARGH!
    Crimson Chin: By my mother's mandible, I say NAY!
  • From "Dog's Day Afternoon"
    • Timmy (actually Vicky's dog Doidle trapped in Timmy's body) goes down to breakfast.
      Timmy: FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!
      (plunges his face into his cereal bowl and starts lapping it up like a dog)
      Mrs. Turner: He sure is hungry!
      Mr. Turner: Oh, no. That's just how all kids eat cereal now. Face-first. I'm hip!
      (plunges his face into his own cereal bowl, just like Timmy)
      (runs out the door)
      Mr. Turner: Wow, does Timmy love school or what?
      (tries to plunge his face into his cup of coffee)
      Mr. Turner: Ouch! Hot! It doesn't work with hot!
    • A.J.'s nonplussed reaction when Timmy (still Doidle trapped in Timmy's body) starts sniffing his butt.
      A.J.: I must say, this is a massive violation of my personal space.
    • In one scene, Wanda socializes with a couple other fairies whose god kids also switched places with animals. One says hers swapped bodies with a frog.
      Wanda: Don't they dissect those?
      Fairy: OH MY GOSH! [poofs away]

    Season 2 
  • From "Tim-visible":
    Francis: (punches Timmy's medallion) Ow! My hand! (tries again) Ow! My OTHER hand! (headbutts) Ow! My head! Ow! My spleen!
  • In "That Old Black Magic", Dad, after telling Timmy not to step on cracks, swears to go back home only when each and every crack of Adrenaland is repaired. When he sees a worker with an exposed butt crack, he starts chasing him while holding a bucket for cement and a trowel.
  • The horrible bike that Timmy's dad made for him, complete with a bag of manure for a seat.
    • Cosmo freaking out whenever Super Bike says, "Super Toilet."
      • It's especially funny when Super Bike says "Super Toilet" in his dragon form, in an "evil" voice.
  • In "The Boy Who Would Be Queen":
    • Trixie and Veronica's 'girl talk' from the perspective of the boys.
  • In the Halloween Episode, we have this exchange:
    Timmy's Dad: I'm going as your mom! *pulls down a mask of Timmy's Mom's face*
    Timmy's Mom: I'm going as your dad! *pulls down a mask of Timmy's Dad's face*
    Timmy: I'm going straight to therapy.
  • After Timmy regrets wishing for the "worst possible non-lethal thing to happen to Chip Skylark," which turns out to be being Bound and Gagged by Vicky.
    Timmy: I'm really sorry about all this, Chip.
    Chip: Oh, that's all right, little pal. It's not like you wished for this to happen.
    • Before that, Chip showed up at Timmy's house after crashing his car into a tree that suddenly appeared in the middle of the street.
    Chip: Totally. Weird.
    • Chip's fans chanting "We want Chip!", followed by Timmy's Dad saying "Or else!".
  • "Hi, I'm Timmy, and I—cheated on my math test."
    • "I never cheated on my math test!"
    • "Hi, I'm Timmy, and I—cheated on my math test!"
  • This scene from the episode "Knighty Knight". Towards the end, Timmy gives King Arthur (who appears here as a short, almost blind boy) a pair of glasses.
    Arthur: everything's so clear! I...I can see! I CAN FIGHT! (rips off his shirt and turns into a ridiculously tall, muscular guy).
    • Then he immediately gets killed by the dragon.
      Timmy: Uh... guys?
      Wanda: Well, we can take a crack at it.
      (Cosmo and Wanda use their magic to restore Arthur to normal)
      Arthur: I can breathe! I CAN FIGHT!!!
  • In "Inspection Detection", when Cosmo and Wanda are distracting Jorgen:
    Jorgen: Your puny slideshow does not amuse me!
    Cosmo: Well, uh, we could just sit here cowering in fear of you?
    Jorgen: Oooh! I'll get my camera!
    *Cut later to another slideshow*
    Cosmo: And this is us cowering in fear 2 minutes ago! And this is us cowering in fear 30 seconds ago! And this is us-
    Jorgen: (destroys slideshow) ENOUGH!
  • This exchange:
    Cosmo: Let's play the not study game!
    Timmy: How do you play?
    Cosmo: (pushes books away from Timmy's desk) You're already playing it!
    (they go off to play video games)
    • And later on:
    Timmy: Chapter one... I'm done! Let's play the not study game!
    Cosmo: (clears the books off the table with a bulldozer)
    (they go off to play video games)
  • Timmy becomes a fairy and tries to find Fairy World.
    Timmy: (poofs in front of a midget vampire) Fairy World?
    Midget Vampire: Scary World.
    Timmy: You're not that scary.
    Midget Vampire: Oh yeah? Well here's a photo of your grandma's feet! (holds of photo of a pair of unnecessarily detailed gross feet)
    Timmy: AAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS!!!!
  • "Mr. President, you just nearly caused a nuclear war! What are you going to do next?" "I'm going to Escalator Land!"
  • Timmy wishes for his parents to have superpowers, so they can get their work done without getting worn out. Mom and Dad soon realize they have powers, but decide to keep them a secret from Timmy based on a reading a comic book. One moment later...
    Timmy: Morning, guys.
  • Cosmo's empty head plays elevator music in one episode and Wanda uses it to store her candy.
  • From "Inspection Detection", Wanda leaves in the middle of the Fairy Inspection in order to help Timmy who's running from the cops after being thought of as a shoplifter.
    Wanda: So what? It's just a stupid inspection! If you want to send us to the Fairy Academy, fine! But right now, Timmy needs us! (poofs away)
    Jorgen stares at Cosmo.
    Cosmo: ...DON'T KILL ME!!! (poofs away with a chicken noise)
  • From "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary", Timmy is in a magical duel with a rich kid named Remy. The final challenge is to come up with most mystical animal they can think of.
    Timmy: I wish I was a crab! (beat) With two heads!
    • In the same episode, Cosmo popping up in front of Juandissimo to distract him, including this gem when he taunts him:
    Cosmo: (makes himself look like a fat version of Juandissimo) Chunky hunky!
    Juandissimo: Stop!
    Cosmo: (makes himself look like a monkey) Monkey chunky hunky!
    • "Can't believe you shot me in the ear!"
  • A lot of the inexplicably banned episode "Twistory"- especially how George Washington's depicted as being Ax-Crazy for wood (per Ben Franklin- "it started with the Cherry Tree and it's been chop-chop-chop ever since."), constantly yelling "Must.. chop.. WOOD!"
  • In "Boy Toy," Timmy wishes himself down to toy-size for an adventure with his Crimson Chin action figure, which has a number of "action phrases" (most of which are awful). At the end, though:
    Crimson Chin Figure: I'm totally into the idea of you giving me to Tootie! That way, she'll always have a small piece of you to smother and choke with love.
    Timmy: ...Wow. That was an oddly specific action phrase.
  • In "Information Stupor Highway", Timmy's parents help him make a love letter to Trixie. Hilarity Ensues when they put threats & gooey stuff all over his letter. Here's the result.

    Season 3 
  • In "Mother Nature", Dad decides that since Mom is now working as a weather person, he has to be be both "Mom and Dad". Unfortunately, his idea of being two parents is using a puppet that looks like Mom. A puppet he has arguments with, to which Timmy says, "No amount of therapy will ever make this moment OK."
    Chet Ubetcha: Hey!
    Dad: Heyyy!
    Mom Puppet: HEY!
    Cosmo & Wanda, falling : Hey!
  • "I thought you said 'Plastic surgery'!" as said by Cosmo, complete with breasts, during a rapid-fire series of clips provided by Cosmo's mother to discredit her son's relationship and godchild assignment.
    • Also, Cosmo: "I'm keeping them" (referring to the gag boobs)
  • Mom's attempt at gardening, full stop.
    Timmy's Mom: *bawling* "Everything I touch dies!"
    (Timmy and his dad both take a step back)
    Timmy's Dad: "Hey, Dinkleberg! Don't you want to give my wife a congratulatory hand-touch?"
  • "Pants are for squares!" "Studying is for squares!" "Electric bills are for squares... like pants!" "Hygiene is for squares!"
  • "What flammable-" *BEEP* "PUDDING!"
    • "I like making the buzzy noise!"
  • When Timmy finds out that Crocker used to have fairies himself as a kid (who turn out to be Cosmo and Wanda), and he does one of Crocker's "FAIRY GODPARENTS!" spasms upon realization.
    Timmy: If I ever do that again, hit me.
    (Cosmo produces an oar)
    Timmy: Not now!
    • Also, "Must...Resist...Stupidity impulse." *Poofs a Jack-in-a-box in front of him* "Not...resisting well!"
    • And earlier on in the same episode, Timmy decides that he has to go back in time further to the 80s to see if Crocker is still miserable. Just before he gets there, we see another time machine leave a pair of flame trails behind it.
  • Timmy has run away from home and joined a carnival
    Wanda: You can't stay a carny forever, Timmy.
    Cosmo: Yeah, you don't have the experience! You've never even been to prison!
    • "CARNY STYLE!"
  • In "Cosmo Con", when Timmy's Mom and Dad meet Mr. Crocker, Timmy's Dad is under the belief that everything she is doing to prepare the place for dinner is for Crocker.
    Timmy's Dad: (looking Mr. Crocker over) Those eyes, that hair, that figure! Oh my gosh, it's worse than I thought! HE'S GORGEOUS!
  • "Pipe Down." Any character screaming and then exploding. Funniest example is Timmy's dad. Timmy breaks some important stuff, Timmy's dad screams angrily, but no sound comes out, because Timmy wished for silence. Timmy's dad tries again and Timmy puts a hand to his ear as if to say, "I can't hear you!" Timmy's dad screams again with his hair igniting and his face turning purple, before he explodes. Timmy's mom nervously hands Timmy his lunchbox.
    Timmy's Dad: (waves his arms wildly) This is not a bulldozer! (runs with his hands at his chest while leaning backward) This is not a fudgesicle! (pretending to row a boat) And how is this Ghostbusters II?!
    • Meta example: It's possible that the inspiration for the charades subplot came from Butch Hartman's experience as a contestant in the 1980s on the game show Body Language, which revolved around charades.
  • The Parental Block in "Sleepover and Over".
  • Timmy's Twitchy Eye when Timmy's mom showed him that her old bikini still fit.
    • Also hilarious considering it was a Male Gaze for every boy fan.
    • Which is then followed by Mr. Turner revealing that his swimsuit still fit.
    Dinkleberg: Heeeey, lookin' good, Turner!
    Timmy's Dad: Dinklebeeeeerrrg...
    • "Where is it written in this one-sided society that a man can't be beautiful!?
  • Sylvester Calzone, especially when he beats himself up.
    Sylvester Calzone: What? Is that the best I got?! Agh! What are you, a pansy?!
    • "You're the species! I'm the extinction!"
  • Juandissimo's "swirly pink hair dance" from "Wanda's Day Off". Also, Cosmo's and Timmy's subplot that features super-intelligent cockroaches trying to Take Over the World.

    Season 4 
  • In the episode "Beach Bummed":
    Sea Monster Emergency Response Team general: "We are not a waste of money! Now prove it, and waste him!"
    Pan over to show two guys shoveling dollar bills into a fire.
  • After Timmy wished for the world to be full of superheroes, his antagonizers become supervillains. Francis becomes an anthropomorphic bull called the "Bull-e" with a big "E" on his chest.
    Timmy: What's the "E" stand for??
    Bull-e: It's the second letter in "death", and the third letter in "die"!!
  • The running gag from the time when Timmy wished he had no emotions. People would do increasingly terrible/funny/bizarre/cruel things to him, then ask the same thing:
    Several People: How does that make you feel?
    Emotionless Timmy: It doesn't.
    • You're weird...
    • Cosmo trying to take care of the box containing all of the personifications of Timmy's emotions:
    Cosmo: Angry, stop hitting Happy! Fear, get out from under the bed! And Envy, Jealousy, stop arguing over who loves Love more! [crash from off screen] Oh great... Bravery's on the roof again...
    [Bravery falls with a crash to Timmy' bedroom floor]
    • This gem:
    Cosmo: Oops! I forgot to return his common sense!
    Timmy's common sense: Whatever you do, don't jump!
    • Quite possibly Trixie Tang's best moment in the entire series:
    Trixie: (to an emotionless Timmy) I'm ignoring you.
    (Timmy doesn't reply)
    Trixie: I said I'm ignoring you!
    (Again, no response)
  • Timmy has been getting so strong after a wish he's hurting people so Cosmo gives us this little gem.
    Timmy: (to fairies) HELP! I'm huge, I'm hurting people, and I'm misunderstood!
    Cosmo: Just like the I.R.S!
  • In "Just the Two of Us," Trixie, suddenly becomes completely insane despite being relatively sane before, completely loses it and attacks Timmy after he breaks up with her when they're the last two people on Earth. Timmy's following line is the best.
    Timmy: "Note to self: Never break up with a girl in the violent gardening tools section."
    "Earth female! As you can see from my gelatinous body, and many waving tenticles, I am clearly not a boy, of this earth! (grabs Trixie) Shall we slide around on this bed of frozen liquid, that is somehow clearly amusing to you earth people~!"
  • When Timmy wished his parents would get some friends, which leads to Cosmo and Wanda becoming Mr. and Mrs. Turner's friends, they realize that they've been neglecting Timmy (more than usual), so rather than blow off their dinner plans with Cosmo and Wanda, decide to be as rude as possible to drive them away.
    Mr. Turner: Ooh, Wanda! Have you gained weight? A loooot of weight?
    Wanda: Uh, no? So, uh, how's the coffee here?
    Mr. Turner: You tell me!
    (Throws hot coffee in Wanda's face)
    • Later when he asks her again:
      Mr. Turner: Have you gained weight?
      Cosmos: A loooot of weight?
    • After noticing the Turners being so rude, Wanda ducks under the table to see if there is a rule about murdering your godchild's actual parents. When there is, Da Rules poof away with a "no dice."
    • After Cosmo and Wanda disappear to discuss what to do about the Turners, the Turners wonder where they went:
      Mrs. Turner: Hmm, they've been gone a really long time.
      Mr. Turner: Maybe they're dead.
      Mrs. Turner: Quick, let's establish an alibi!
  • From "Lights... Camera... Adam!"
    Adam West: How do you say this word?
    Guy Playing Cleft: Chin.
    • "Finally! I got to direct in a sailor suit! And now I'm a racecar driver! Sweet! Dreams really do come true!"
    • This Running Gag:
    Crowd: TV's Adam West!
    Adam West: WHERE!?
  • In "Odd Couple", Ricky gets tricked by Timmy into marrying a teen beauty pageant who's rich, who actually turns out to be Denzel Crocker's mom.
  • In "Vicky Loses Her Icky", Timmy is in class when something goes wrong and makes a wish that he can get out of class 'inconspicuously.' Cosmo poofs a pair of rockets onto his desk and Timmy shoots out through the ceiling, getting everyone's attention.
    Wanda: (To Cosmo while Timmy is flying through the air and screaming) IT MEANS 'WITHOUT BEING NOTICED!!'
    • Cosmo says Timmy wouldn't have been noticed if he didn't scream.
    • After that Crocker notices the burn marks on the floor and assumes Timmy exploded, saying "Hey, Turner exploded! That's one less mouth to teach!"
  • "Genie Meanie Minie Mo":
    • The best rule in the infamous rulebook: No breakfast wishes after 10:30.
    • Norm. Just Norm.
    Timmy: Hey, you're a genie!
    • Timmy falling for a classic Literal Genie trap when he wishes for an omelet. "Guess you should've wished for an omelet on a plate!"
    • Norm proves the difference between Literal Genie and Jerkass Genie when Timmy tries to outsmart him by saying, "I wish Trixie Tang loved Timmy Turner." Cue Trixie kissing a line of guys all named Timmy Turner.
    Norm: Know what they have in common? They're all smarter than you!
    • The one way to outsmart a Jerkass Genie? "I WISH I HAD A LAWYER!"
    Norm: I hate being out-jerked!
    • In "Mr. Right"
      • With Timmy's comic book collection roasting on an open fire:
    Jubilant Male Choir: There goes the Crimson-Chin!''' [marshmellow drops flat splat on the hero on one of the blazing books].
  • The alterations to the books in "Shelf Life". In Frankenstein for example, the villagers attacking the monster become the ill attacking a monster truck.
    • From the same episode, Elmer makes the mistake of saying that doing a 100-page book report over the summer sounds like fun. At the end of the day, Elmer is tied up to a sign that says, "I Love Books" with an angry mob of kids chasing after him.
      Elmer: All I said was, "It sounded like fun!"
      Sanjay: He said it again! Get him!
      (The angry mob begins chasing Elmer, along with a dog with a kid being dragged behind it)
      Elmer: Don't you guys ever go to the bathroom?! (continues getting chased by the angry mob along with the dog and Timmy's dad barking and running on all fours like a dog)
  • Wanda has this gem when Timmy's parents are mistaken for a pair of souvenir-stealing criminals.
    Wanda: Timmy, they're entwined in the American legal system. It would take us years to get them out, even WITH magic.

    Season 5 
  • From "What's the Difference?":
    Timmy: Toilet, toilet, toilet...Hippo Head?
    Hippo Head: If you go in me, you DIE!
  • From "Nega-Timmy":
    • Timmy's parents give him a vial of acid to play with so they could watch their show starring a Crocodile Hunter parody who hunts bad parents.
      • Timmy after melting the mailbox: "It's fun and's FUNSTRUCTIVE!"
    • Nega-Timmy walking into Crocker's classroom and then just hissing in his face.
      • Nega-Timmy's evil plan is to destroy the makeup factory. Apparently, everyone uses makeup, even Timmy.
  • Oh my gosh! It's GAH! The Norwegian Supermodel!
  • The parents kidnapped and taken to a parents-only spa in the theme park, guarded by men in black suits who throw kids out that accidentally run into the place. When the parents have to leave, they Freak Out and beg not to be reunited with their children.
  • From Just Desserts: Hyperactive Crocker.
  • From "Timmy the Barbarian"
    • "Mt. Fluffy Bunny! Wait, that's not very scary. Mt. Disco! No, wait...Mt. PAIN!"
    • Also, Jorgen Von Strangle skipping over all the more cheerful parts of the story much to Timmy's annoyance.
    • "And then Cosmo...tripped on a bug!"
    • The entire episode, really.
  • This gem from Future Lost:
    Timmy's Dad: Don't worry about it, Timmy. My dreams were shattered years ago.
    Timmy: How many years ago?
    Timmy's Dad: How old are you?
  • In Something's Fishy, Timmy finds out that his Wet Willie gear is useless underwater.
    Timmy: Hollywood lied to me!
    Cosmo: Hollywood lied? Curse you, movie critic Gene Shalit!
    • And later, when they find Atlantis...
      Cosmo: Thank you, movie critic Gene Shalit!
    • The fact that Cosmo somehow managed to sink Atlantis nine times.
    Timmy: 9 times?!
    Neptune: Send in 8 more Kraken!
    Wanda: You sank Atlantis nine times!? Where was I when this was happening?
    Cosmo: I have a whole secret life that you know nothing about!
  • The episode where the Turners moved to a "Stepford Wives"-esque community has the bit where all the zombified people (plus Cosmo and Wanda) try to get Timmy to drink the brainwashing milk...then Crocker pops up, saying in the same deadpanned zombie voice "Fairies, fairies..."
  • From "Presto Change-O!", Timmy switches bodies with Crocker and proceeds to deal hilariously (though well-deserved) petty punishment.
    Timmy/Crocker: (In Crocker's van) Wait a minute! I can't drive! Oh, well! Not my van!
    (Drives maniacally, smashing into cars. On the way home, he stops into a tattoo parlor, an organ donation clinic and drives through a police station, sending squads of cop cars after him)
    Timmy/Crocker: Forget it, coppers! You'll never take me, DENZEL CROCKER, alive! *(Laughs)*
    (Later, when he reaches the house)
    Timmy/Crocker: Cool! A Tow-Away Zone! (Parks directly in it)

    Season 6 
  • In "Fairly Oddbaby", Timmy's about to wish Cosmo and Wanda a baby only for Jorgen to shout "Stop!" and forcibly poof them to Fairy World.
    Jorgen: There has been a disturbance in the Fairy Force. Someone was just about to wish for the 'B' word! (Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda poof before him) Ah, Turner. Big surprise.
  • Just... this:
    Wanda: (panicked) Cosmo! Timmy's parents found Poof!
    Cosmo (also panicked) Oh no! Those people have no idea how to raise a child! (notices Timmy glaring) No offense, Timmy.
    Timmy: (deadpan) None taken...
  • "Worst plan ever."
  • Two words: "Merry Wishmas". A whole episode of funny moments involving Christmas parodies, cookies and nog, and Santa moving into Timmy's house.
    • The scene where Jorgen finds out what's happening.
    Jorgen: Hey! What's with all the noise?
    Fairy: The Big Wand is overloading, sir!
    Jorgen: But it is the day after Christmas. Santa gave the magic back! Where is all this wishing coming from?!
    *Computer screen does a search, and reads "Dimmsdale"*
    Jorgen: Turner. (eye starts twitching) Of course.
  • Just...Just, this.
    Jensen: Upon seeing the army of Ape Warriors Sir, this isn't in my contract.
    Timmy: Don't worry Jensen, this battle will only take 2 minutes, tops. Bring it on!
    *Cut to all of them in a torture chamber*
    Wanda: You were close; the battle took a minute, 40.
    Timmy: (To Jensen who is hanging right next to them) See Jensen, have I ever lied to you?
  • The episode where Timmy's mom turns their house into a bed and breakfast because Timmy's dad quit his job to become the sock monkey king. The guests are Crocker, Dark Laser, and Tootie, who are trying to capture Timmy's fairies, destroy him, or kiss him, respectively. At one point he ends up in his parent's bedroom and tells them that the guests are after him. Their responses:
    Timmy's Dad: Do they want to buy my sock monkeys?
    Timmy's Mom: Do they want to stay an extra night and give me even more moolah?
    • There's a bit where Timmy pushes a button on Dark Laser's chest turning his body into an inflatable raft. When Dark Laser tells his henchmen to chase Timmy they pull out paddles and begin dragging him across the floor.
    • Later on there's the Scooby-Doo chase scene which ends with a parody of Scooby and Shaggy being chased by the Headless Horseman.
    • Tootie's response to Dark Laser saying she's too young for lipstick:
    "Don't push my buttons and I won't push yours, bub."
    • Crocker trying to escape in a jet only to crash it into the driveway across the street from Timmy's house.
    • When Dark Laser escapes he presses another button on his chest, which puts him in a pink evening gown.

    Season 7 
  • In "Anti-Poof", the gang are in the fairy mall buying diapers...for Cosmo.
  • The entire episode "Bad Heir Day" is one big Funny Moment after another. Though, the icing on the cake has got to be when Crocker teaches Denzel Jr. DJ Poof how to drive.
    • "That was perfect! Tomorrow, we'll try parallel parking."
    • "FLY MR. STORK! BRING ME A CHILD! * Crash!* Oh, sorry, I guess I should've opened a window first.."
    • Crocker teaching Poof how to shave. "And that's how real men shave, in the dark, with a sharp razor!"
    • Poof and Crocker playing Football Oblong Ball. Crocker can barely throw the ball ten inches. Poof throws it and....sends both the ball and Crocker flying several yards.
    • Crocker's list of things he actually wants for his birthday-"Number 1, to make them pay! Number 2, to show them all! Number three...a jet ski!"
    • Also, this exchange at the beginning of the episode-
    Crocker's Mother: Make a wish, Denzel.
    Crocker: (Deadpan) I wish I could get out of this highchair.
  • From "Teacher's Pet", the following gem:
    Cosmo: Let's split up! I'll take Timmy, Wanda, Poof and Cosmo!
    Timmy: Good plan!
  • While "Lights Out" might have had its scary moments, it also had some pretty funny moments too, made even better by the fact that the viewer couldn't see what was happening on-screen...
    • And the only thing that we really could see was their eyes.
  • The entirety of "Food Fight".
    • Timmy's Mom being such a Lethal Chef that her food tries to attack Timmy and Dad. The three of them get pulled down into the basement where they store Mom's uneaten food and at the end of the episode, Dad becomes the king of a tribe of sentient meatloaf.
    • The Sausage Fields running gag ("I feel so greasy!")
  • In "Crocker Shocker", when Timmy needs the last of his fairies' magic to teleport to Earth, Wanda squeezes out the remaining magic in Cosmo's body by putting him through a wringer, then putting him on a clothesline and beating him with a tennis racket.
  • Timmy's Dad becoming a Criss Angel parody in "Dadbra-Cadabra".
    • As said parody he also wears a pair of tight pants that make him incapable of walking normally, so he wobbles looking like a South Park character.
    • This exchange when Timmy turns Mr. Crocker into a fairy and reveals him as a prank:
    Timmy: Look everyone! Mr. Dicaprio's a fairy!
    Crocker: No I'm not! (starts floating) There's just one explanation for this: FAIRIES have turned me into a FAIRY!
    • Also:
    Woman: Wow! He really is a fairy!
    Man: And he needs to work out!
    Crocker: You try joining a gym on a teacher's salary!
    Old Lady: Let's make him grant our wishes!
    British Guy: Let's stuff him in a sack and sell him to government scientists!
    Man: Let's make him put his shirt back on!
  • In "Farm Pit" a tornado whisks Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof to Cleveland. Cosmo thinks that they're in Oz. Hilarity Ensues.
    • Timmy's dad in his "Daisy Dude" shorts.
  • "Balance of Flour." This line said in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice: "More. Good! MOOORRRREEEE!"

    Season 8 
  • In "Meet the OddParents", we have this exchange between Jorgen and Timmy when the latter thinks he's there to take his fairies away:
    Jorgen: What are you talking about?
    Timmy: What are you talking about?
    Jorgen: What are you talking about?
    Timmy: What are YOU talking about?
    Jorgen: What are YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
    Timmy: What are YOU TALKING ABOUT??!
    • Later, when Jorgen finds out that Timmy's parents know he has fairies, he explains just how he knew:
    Jorgen: Call it a hunch, a sixth sense. Also the golf ball ratted you out!
  • An exchange between Mom and Dad shows their utter obliviousness to the crazy goings-on with Cosmo and Wanda's magic. Dad is more disturbed by a football and Mom wonders who stole her lipstick. Dad reveals he used it to write creepy messages on Dinkleburg's bathroom mirror. Later, when confronted by strange goings-on, he wonders if it's the Dinkleburg's ghost, before remembering that was actually him.

    Season 9 
  • In "Fairly Odd Pet" when it's mentioned that Sparky could be sent to the pound, Cosmo believes that the pound is a place where they pound you with a mallet and convert all your money to British pounds, and with the USD to GBP exchange rate Sparky will lose 30% of his portfolio and will never be able to retire.
    • When Timmy wishes that the kitchen was full of cats to trigger his mom's allergies, his dad thinks she's a monster and jumps into a barrel of push pins he stole from work. He lampshades this, saying "Sometimes even I marvel at the terrible choices I make."
    • When Timmy finds Sparky.
    Jorgen: You don't want that one. He's not too bright.
    Timmy: That's not a nice thing to say about the dog!
    Jorgen: I was warning the dog about you!
  • In "Turner and Pooch" Crocker goes through several different disguises while stalking Timmy, but when he can't get an ice cream man disguise he goes for the next logical choice: a vampire he calls Count Creamery.
    • Crocker thinks that Timmy's Dad is a fairy and barely notices Sparky reading a newspaper.
    [Sparky answers the door floating and wear a robe and glasses.]
    Crocker: Get out of my way ordinary dog, I'm looking for a magical middle-aged man!
    Sparky: Whatever floats your boat, bra!
  • In "Dinkle Scouts" Timmy's Dad suggests they go to a state park, which as shown on the brochure is built on a faultline and next to an active volcano.
  • "Well, the only things that fall out of lamps are genies and dead silverfish. And dead silverfish can't make your dreams come true. I learned that the hard way."
    Timmy's Dad: Make my wife disappear?
    Cosmo: Isn't that illegal?
    Timmy's Dad: Not if you make the police disappear!
    • When Timmy's Dad asks Cosmo to wish that Dinkleberg never existed against the latter's advice, it results in a Non Sequitur Causality where society has been destroyed and Timmy's Mom is a two-headed dragon.
    • Timmy's Dad made the attic his dressing room—I mean man cave.
  • In "The Terrible Twosome" when Poof and Foop begin working together, he suggest they call themselves "Poop", then "Brangelina".
    • Their pranks on Crocker, which are turning his churro into a stick of dynamite, giving him a box of chocolates full of scorpions, then bringing his swan boat to life and having him ride into the mouth of a one-eyed sea monster.
    • Foop going through his "terrific twos" and hating it.
  • In "App Trap", we have an exchange that sums up the SmartPhone perfectly:
    Chatty: Hello, Timmy. I'm your virtual assistant, Chatty. I come complete with games, a camera, an MP3 player, and A BURNING DESIRE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE.
    Timmy: WHAT?
    Chatty: ...I mean, UNLIMITED TEXTING.
    • When Chatty attempts to mislead Timmy with virtual versions of Cosmo and Wanda, the one of Cosmo states "As a totally modern woman, I feel just as comfortable in jeans as I do in a cocktail dress!", and Timmy says that it was dead on.
    • Also, when Crocker tries to gloat at Timmy for not have a smartphone:
    Crocker: Don't worry, Turner! I won't gloat about the fact that I have a phone and you don't! I'll just use the gloat app on my phone! *he turns the gloat app on, and Dolores-Day appears on the phone shaking her rear left and right*
    Dolores-Day: Nah nah nah nah nah nah, Denzel is a loser!
    Crocker: Gah! This is mother's phone!
  • Entirety of 'Fairly Odd Fairy Tales'.
    • Cinderella's and her evil stepsister's names being changed to Cosmorella, Umbrella and Mozarella.
    Timmy: Seriously? Those are their names?
    Cosmorella: It smells like something died in here.
    Sparky: Yeah, my dreams for a brighter future.
    • Umbrella and Mozzarella, who are potrayed by usually arrogant, but smooth chick magnets Dr Studwell and Juandissimo being surprisingly Adorkable as they try to win Wanda's heart by telling terrible bowling puns.
    • The names of the 7 fairies in the Snow White parody - Sleazy ( Juandissimo ), Grouchy ( Jorgen ), Snappy ( Cupid ), Meanie ( Foop ), Barky ( Sparky ), Bouncy ( Poof )... and Dr. Rip Studwell.
    • Timmy's dad as evil queen's ( Tooth Fairy's ) mirror. That is all.
    • This, as Tooth Fairy pretends to be a Mexican seller of caramel apples, with the giant moustache and all.
    Tooth Fairy: You look like you could use a snack.
    Wanda: And you look like you could use a shave.
  • In 'Gone Flushin':
    • The episode starts with Timmy and Cosmo (as fish) floating outside down in the fishbowl. Cosmo remarks that "all the cool fish are doing it", it being especially popular near nuclear power plants and oil spills.

    Season 10 
"The Big Fairy Share Scare"
  • When Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda notice the chaos that's going on from Chole's wish for everybody in Dimmsdale to share everything.
    Timmy: Oh boy, Chloe really blew it with this wish!
    Cosmo: Preach it Timmy, 'cause you never made a wish that went horribly wrong.
  • When Timmy ejects from his robot suit in class:
    Crocker: GAH! It's the ultimate nightmare scenario: Turners multiplying!
  • Chloe's reaction to seeing Jorgen for the first time is to throw him against the wall of her bedroom, and pin him to the floor.
    Jorgen: Ooh, I like this girl. She's got spunk... and the heel of her foot on my windpipe!

Girly Squirrely

  • The Squirrely Scout Counsel sending a vicious Kodiak bear to judge whether or not Timmy's Dad's troops can earn a badge.
  • The several fails the Squirrely Scouts go through when trying to earn a merit badge, with Timmy and Chloe being the only competent ones.
    • When Chloe tells the scouts to gather around, two of them bump into each other, one scout walks into a quick sand pit, one scout got stung by bees, and one scout got lost only for Timmy to point out to him that he's already in the area.
    • When trying to get the rock climbing badge, the scouts run up the mountain only for them to roll back down to the bottom.
    • When trying to get the white water rafting badge, the scouts completely forget to use their paddles and the river knocks them out of their raft and they end up going down a waterfall.
    • When trying to get the knot tying badge, when trying to tie a knot Timmy's Dad tied the rope around his ankle and somehow is tied to a branch on a tree while the other scouts tie themselves into a large ball of rope. When Timmy's Dad's rope breaks, he lands on the scouts and they roll into a river where they go down a waterfall.
  • Timmy discovering Chloe's Berserk Button is hearing the word "quit".
    Timmy: Come on, Chloe. The troop is hopeless. Can't you just quit like the rest of us?
    Chloe: Wait, what?! Did you just say the Q-word. That is a baaaaaaaaad word, Timmy!
    Timmy: Uh, "quit"?
    Chloe: Potty mouth!
    • Timmy pushing her Berserk Button again:
      Timmy: Too bad, Chloe. Looks like everyone is quitting. Yeah I said it, quitting.
      Chloe: Wait, what?! No, no, no, no no, no!
      Timmy: Oh, everyone stand back, Chloe's going to blow.
      Chloe: Nooooo! We came here to get those stinkin' badges and nobody is leaving until we do! It's right there in the stupid Squirrely Scout song! (sweetly) "No matter what we never quit we're loyal and we're kind, to poison oak and (getting angrier) fire and smoke (shouting angrily, grabbing Timmy's Dad's ascot) no squirrels get left behind"!
      Timmy's Dad: Got to be honest, I come to hate that song.
      Chloe: Don't cross me, Timmy's dad! (pushes Timmy's dad to the ground)
    • Bonus points when you realize that Chloe just went full Haruko in that scene.

Animal Crockers

  • Cosmo revealing he has a history of digging up cursed objects that attract evil creatures, and he and the creatures already know each other. By the end of the episode, he and Wanda are being chased by a ghost pirate, a mummy, a Bedsheet Ghost, a witch, and gnomes with sharp teeth.
  • Dolores explaining why she put Mr. Crocker in Girly Scout when he was a kid.
    Dolores: I did it for the cookies. I regret nothing!
  • During Mr. Crocker's high school prom, he was voted "Who is that guy? Does he even go to our school?"

One Flu Over the Crocker's Nest

  • Mr. Crocker trying to give an excuse to Principal Waxelplax on how her office was destroyed:
    Crocker: There was some poltergeist activity.
    (Waxelplax gives Crocker a doubtful look)
    Crocker: I cancelled "donut day" and the class went berserk?
    Waxelplax: Well, that I believe.
    Crocker: Then let's go with that! I love throwing the kids under the bus!
  • The submarine countdown before it self-destructs:
    Submarine Computer: 5... 4... 2...
    Timmy: You skipped 3!
    Submarine Computer: Well, I'm upset. I'm about to explode.

Married to the Mom

  • Hummanah. 'Nuff said.
  • Mr. Crocker blaming everything on Timmy.
  • Cosmo's reaction to the Paint Dry: Part 1 video.
    Cosmo: (eating popcorn) Ooh, I love this movie. The characters are so many layers!
    • Later on, Cosmo trying to watch Part 2.
    Cosmo: Oops. I hit the wrong button and "Paint Dry 2" is in Spanish! Now I don't know what's happening!
  • Timmy trying to introduce Mr. Crocker to Hummanah.
    Timmy: Mr. Crocker, I'd like you to meet my aunt— (whispering to Chloe) We forgot to give her a name.
    Crocker: Hummanah-hummanah?!
    Timmy: Yes, how'd you know? Her name is "Hummanah Hummanah". But you can call her "Hummanah"? And "Hummanah"!

Booby Trapped

  • The absurdity of the rainforest having a species of monkey that camouflages itself as a skateboard, and has a flaming skull logo on its chest specifically for this purpose. It's later topped by a rectangular monster that disguises itself as a vending machine and has a tail with a dollar on the end.

Fairy Con

Fancy Schmancy

  • Timmy asks Cosmo to give Chloe a rich person's disguise to get her into a country club. Cosmo turns her into Mister Peanut
    Timmy: My mistake. I said Cosmo when I meant Wanda.


Channel Chasers

School's Out!: The Musical

Fairy Idol

  • After Chester wishes for the penguins to be warmer, the Earth basically enters the Sun.
    The Sun: HEY! A little space?!
  • Then, at the very end, when Chester wishes everything back to normal, the Earth moves farther away from the Sun.
    The Sun: ...Was it something I said?
  • When Jorgen comes to erase Timmy's memory for the second time, he states his memory wiper now has Forgeticin:
    Announcer: Forgeticin side effects might include nausea, blurred vision, drowsiness and stomach cramps. Your doctor may have to perform a painful blood test to see if forgeticin is right for you. Forgeticin should not be used in the presence of cats, banjos and democratic presidents. Forgeticin, don't forget it. Forget what? Why am I here? Who are you people?!
    • Even funnier is the speed in which the announcer says the above lines.
  • Cosmo going through the trouble of singing like Diana DeGarmo. Even better is how his verse of the song "Gimme the Wand" starts:
    Cosmo: I'm a...oh, hang on. F-A-I-R-Y


  • From the storybook All Washed Up!:
    Wanda: There are four basic elements: earth, air, fire, and—
    Cosmo: JELLY BEANS!
  • From one of the video games, Jorgen giving off a sponsor before the final boss:
    Jorgen: Brought to you by Smark's Brand Magic Wands: The Perfect Wand for the Perfect Fairy.
    • Even better, one of the panels you can get Vicky to jump on during that boss is that exact advertisement.
    • Cosmo on double-jumping: "It's twice the fun, and only two-thirds the calories!"
  • This video on Butch Hartman's channel shows an anime fight with Timmy, Wanda, and Cosmo fighting Mr. Crocker. It's all awesome, but the ending is hilarious: they take away Crocker's butterfly net and turn him back to his original animation style, where he's confronted by his mom.

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