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Funny / The Eternals

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The 2006 Gaiman miniseries:

  • Sersi convinces her friend Abi to loan her $900 so that she can pay her rent by convincing her that if she doesn't, and Sersi gets evicted, Abi will become consumed by guilt and spend the rest of her life in therapy, which will cost way more than $900.
  • The hilariously dopey America's Next Super Hero, a reality show designed to sell the public on the Super Registration Act. It includes several vacuous idiots who are more interested in meeting Sprite than actually performing heroic feats, plus the spectacle of Janet Van Dyne debasing herself by serving as a glorified messenger pigeon.
    Wasp: Hey everyone, it's wonderful Wasp Mail!
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  • Vorozheika's tourism bid:
    Druig: We want to tell the world, come and ski in Vorozheika. Also, shoot bears.
    Sersi: Really?
    Druig: We have too many bears. And wolves.
  • When Iron Man, Yellowjacket, and Wasp show up to try and fight the Dreaming Celestial, the Eternals are forced to defend it. Not wanting to hurt Hank Pym, Ikaris uses mind control to force him to grow and stand in place. And then later he tells Hank to shrink down to normal size and go sit with Iron Man, who's been knocked flat on his ass by Thena.
    Hank: Dammit, the mind-control stuff. You're still doing it, yes?
    Ikaris: You got it. Just sit down over there. I'll shout if we need you.


The 2008 Knauf series:

  • Hearing how the Tiamut the Dreaming Celestial can't really do anything to prevent Earth's destruction and is just going to put everyone to sleep and let the cosmic entity they serve reset the Earth, Makkari is less than pleased:
    Makkari: Is every cosmic being in the universe a total tool!?
    Tiamut: Yes. We are all tools of the Fulcrum.
  • Tiamut the Dreaming Celestial attempts to warn off The Horde from devouring Earth. They dismiss its actions as outside its programming but it proceeds to inform them that Earth's energies have grown beyond their storage capacity. If they attempt to harvest it they will overload, blowing up and taking the galactic quadrant with them. There is a beat panel before Tiamut reiterates and The Horde cuts it off because they're still thinking about it.