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Funny / The Dukes of Hazzard

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  • This exchange from the pilot episode:
    Bo: If you weren't my cousin, I'd marry you.
    Daisy: That's never stopped anybody in this family before.
  • Poor Boss Hogg tearfully ponders the prospect of being related to the Duke Boys and having to have Thanksgiving with them. The way Boss Hogg's accent and his tearful delivery of the lines just makes it hysterical.
    Boss Hogg: Them Duke Boys are gonna be my Hogg-In-Laws! And seeing as they'd be family, they'd be entitled to a cut of your cut of the pie!
    Rosco: Mm. That little, huh?
    Boss Hogg: And can you imagine me sitting at the Thanksgiving table, and seeing them Duke Boys on the other side of the turkey, the roast beef, candied yams, gibbly gravy, potatoes and ice cream? Oh, it's enough to make me lose my appetite!
    Rosco: It makes me hungry! (Boss Hogg begins to cry) Oh now don't worry there, little fat buddy, here's a hanky for you! (hands to to Boss Hogg)
    Boss Hogg: Oh, thank you! (inhales so that he can sneeze into the hanky, but just before he sneezes, Rosco rips it out of his hands, causing him to blow his nose into his hand).
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  • At one point, while under the influence of a truth serum, Hogg comes walking out of the courthouse in his usual cheerful demeanor, and looks in the stroller of a woman on the sidewalk. "My, what a homely child." Said in his normal cheerful tone. For some reason, the mother takes some offense.
  • Almost any of the Boss Hogg-Rosco double act, especially when discussing a scheme:
    Boss Hogg: Pea brain! How we gonna put a crasher in when the drivers have already been picked?
    Rosco: Well... Uhh... (suddenly enthusiastic) With pressure!
    Boss Hogg: Aaaah! With pressure?! Any more pressure from you and I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown! You're a walkin' epidemic.

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