- Some of the Lemony Narrator's descriptions for using items. Jabs for doing stupid things are common, and are especially humorous if you discover an unknown item by doing so.
- Using a stinkwing gland: "The odor has destroyed your will to live."
- Consuming a tchiitra hatchling gland: "That tasted about as pleasant as it looked."
- Consuming a torn cloth: "You wonder why you just ate that. Then you feel sad."
- Using a dried spiderose: "You crush the pretty little flower. Why did you do that?"
- Consuming a Hawksbane vine: "You feel like you swallowed a bunch of thorns. Oh, wait."
- Drinking acidic lakewater: "The acidic water starts burning you... Now."
- Using Emerald Saltgrass: "You literally just rubbed salt in your wounds."
- Using a clump of salt produces an even more extreme reaction: "You just rubbed salt! In your wounds! Ahhh! AAAHHHHH!!"
- Consuming soft soil: "Tastes like dirt. Probably because it is."
- Consuming a Lasher's Well: "You realize too late that the bulb is filled with acid."
- Consuming Arlowe's Weed: "You realize you've been reduced to eating leaves."
- Consuming some sulphur weeds: "That plant was not meant to be eaten!"
- Consuming some Dandy Do'Sshans: "Surprisingly edible, for a vile weed."
- Consuming some river reeds: "You feel at ease after getting your daily fiber." So at ease, it actually heals soul health!
- Consuming some Jiknip: "Tangy, with just a hint of your own desperation."
- Using Nalian rice: "You laugh in surprise as the grains spill everywhere!" Not terribly humorous in itself, but the message is the same for all characters...including Fake Tezkhra!
- The Violet Potable drink is so delicious that it brings your character to their knees, even in the middle of combat. It's just that good, apparently.
- The Citrus Concentrate item is "Really, really concentrated. Really. You have been warned."
- Consuming it provides the message "The acidic liquid teaches you the meaning of pain!"
- The Dark Honey description: "Honey made by very angry bees. Distilled, concentrated evil."
- The sap tapper sap description: "Sap tapper's trapped sap. Snap the sap to trap a chap."
- Sea slime venom "causes feelings of impending doom".
- The Filthy Mutt description: "An angry mutt caked in mud and refuse. Probably very itchy under all of that."