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Funny / The Dark Tower

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  • Roland, after buying Eddie a sandwich with mayonnaise.
    Roland: I'd prefer a topping that didn't look so much like come, myself.
  • The character that is Earl Harrigan, featured in the sixth and seventh books. Can you say GAWD-BOMB?
  • Roland's awkward adventure at the drugstore, culminating in him giving a clerk a Rolex watch to pay for some penicillin.
  • Flagg's note with the smiley faces in Wizard and Glass.
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  • Cuthbert's quips in Wizard and Glass
    Cuthbert: Dig it deep. We don't want the wind to blow it away.
    Alain: (annoyed) Do you want to do it? Just so you can make sure it's done right?
    Cuthbert: No, Al. You're doing fine for someone who's both blind and soft in the head. Go on.
  • On Susan and Roland:
    Cuthbert: She's tranced him. Whether she means to or not, she'll kill us all in the end. Wait and see if she don't.
    Alain: You shouldn't say such, even in jest.
    Cuthbert: All right, she'll crown us with the jewels of Eld and we'll live forever.
  • In Song of Susannah, Roland knows who's the best at blitzing enemies with bullshit until an ambush can be sprung:
    “Slow him down if you can,” Roland said. “It’s not wet enough in there yet.”
    “Slow down Andolini?” Eddie asked. “How do I do that?”
    “With your everlasting mouth!” Roland cried, and Eddie saw a wonderful, heartening thing: Roland was grinning. Almost laughing.
    • Needless to say, Eddie manages.
  • Eddie being confronted by the Customs officers in the aeroplane toilet in Drawing of the Three, if you're into that kinda thing...
  • Virtually any time Roland gets to try food or drink from Eddie and Susannah's world, even food or drink that you or I would consider bland or unremarkable, his reaction is always hilarious. His first sip of Pepsi? Heroic BSoD. Eating a "tooter-fish" (tuna fish) sandwich from a commercial airline? It becomes his Trademark Favorite Food. Hell, he even greedily chomps down on KFC and takes a break from all the action to nab some sliced turkey from a deli in Maine. The only food from our side he explicitly doesn't like? Hotdogs from a New York stand.
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  • During the Battle of Algul Siento, several fires are set. This triggers the robotic fire fighters, Fire Response Team Bravo. Being as they haven't been activated in 800 years and The World Has Moved On the fire engines begin plowing into the guards. Cut to Pimli Prentiss and the taheen Finli Otego. The image of this fat guy and seven foot tall weasel staring at these robot fire fighters just cracks me up.


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