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Funny / The Crown (2016)

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Season 1

  • Good old Winston makes his entrance to Elizabeth's wedding an attention-grabbing scene. In the middle of the ceremony, he loudly remarks that Philip's three sisters aren't present because they all married Nazis. He's told by his wife to shut up, only to double-down it with an even louder "Prominent Nazis!" He's then shushed by an altar boy.
  • Country Matters to the bloody King of England.
    George VI: There was an old Countess of Bray, and you might think it odd when I say, that despite her high station, rank and education, she always spelled "Cunt" with a K!
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  • Prince Philip, staying at Balmoral, is abruptly woken up at an ungodly hour in the morning, sprawled naked over his bed. Furiously, he springs right up, demanding to know what "bloody idiot" is disturbing him at this ridiculous hour... only to find himself standing stark bollock naked right in front of King George VI, who has decided to prank him with a personal wake-up call to go hunting.
    George VI: [Mildly] Yes, well, I'm not sure that's the correct term of address for the King.
  • The Queen asks her tutor what she should do about Churchill and Lord Salisbury deceiving her:
    Professor Hogg: Summon them and give them a good dressing-down, like children.
    Elizabeth: Why would they stand for that?
    Hogg: Because they are English, male and upper-class. A good dressing-down from Nanny is what they want most in life.
    • Later, Elizabeth invoking Disappointed in You against Churchill and Salisbury after they hide Churchill's strokes from her provides the incredible sight of men both over forty years her senior and who rank among some of the most powerful and influential in the country on the verge of tears at her verbal lashing.
    • Winston, full of uncertainty, awaits his turn like a nervous child sitting on a bench by the door of the principal's office. As Salisbury comes out, Churchill scrutinizes his face for some complicit clue, Salisbury gives none and walks away in silence, while Churchill desperately keeps staring at Salisbury for a long time, to no avail.
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  • After Philip raises some controversial ideas about the Coronation to the organising committee, Churchill goes to Elizabeth in something of a flap, leading to this exchange:
    Elizabeth: I do hope this has nothing to do with my husband. I told him not to go mad.
    Churchill: [Cautiously] ... No one is questioning the Duke of Edinburgh's motives or the sincerity of his beliefs—
    Elizabeth: I see. He went mad.
  • Senior Deputy Private Secretary Michael Adeane informs Tommy Lascelles that the Queen has chosen Martin Charteris, the junior deputy, to be her new Private Secretary:
    Lascelles: What? Says who?
    Adeane: Says Margaret Colville, Jock Colville's wife, who plays bridge with Alice Jameson, lady-in-waiting, who as you may know, plays tennis with Mary Charteris.
    Lascelles: Why on earth would I know that?
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  • Philip acting like the Philip we know when visiting Nairobi.
    "I like the hat."
  • Churchill angrily confronts the painter of his commissioned portrait for making him look like he's on the toilet.
    Churchill: A broken, sagging, pitiful creature, squeezing and squeezing!
  • Anthony Eden makes Winston Churchill say he depends on him and insists he says it loudly so all the people listening in on their conversation can hear.

Season 2

  • Elizabeth is showing Charles and Anne all the places their father visited on his tour of the South Pacific and Atlantic, and offers this commentary on the British Overseas Territories:
    Elizabeth: ...they have to be visited every once in a while, so they don't feel neglected or forgotten, and don't get silly little ideas like becoming independent.
  • In "Beryl", Margaret's intimate portrait photo ends up in every newspaper in the country. After opening the paper and seeing the photograph, Phillip has a rather appreciative smirk on his face which he immediately rearranges into a frown when Elizabeth looks at him.
    • Earlier in the episode, Cecil Beaton is taking Margaret's official portrait. She beams and poses but as soon as the flash goes off she sinks into a sulk and pulls on a cigarette.
  • In "Marionettes," Elizabeth gets her hair cut into the trademark bob she's now had for decades. While Elizabeth treats the event as being exceptionally mundane (and is more concerned with reading her magazine than paying attention to her hairdresser), the scene is scored to a majestic orchestral and choral track and the reveal is treated like an Awesome Moment of Crowning. Then it's immediately cut to Philip expressing his distaste for it.
    • Even better, the majestic orchestral track in question is Handel's "Zadok the Priest." As in, "the anthem that has been sung before every British monarch has been crowned since 1727."
  • Earlier in that same episode, Lord Altrincham causes a major fuss with a speech slamming the Queen. One man, a veteran soldier, pins medals onto his coat, confronts Altrincham outside a TV studio and punches him in the face in front of reporters. The reactions by the Queen and Queen mother to the news are priceless.
    Aide: Lord Altrincham has been struck.
    Queen Mother: Dumb, I hope.
    Aide: Better than that, ma'am. In the face. Quite forcefully, I'm told.
    Elizabeth: By whom? What gallant and chivalrous individual?
  • In that same episode, Martin visits Michael Adeane's office with concerns about the Queen's speech. The first thing he sees upon entering, much to his bafflement, is Tommy's two dogs calmly staring at him.
    • The two deerhounds resemble Tommy very much, sharing a stern, steely gaze and a decidedly non-sunny disposition.
  • Princess Margaret can't quite remember the name of her hairstylist and ends up calling him "Vidal Baboon."
  • The conga line in "Matrimonium." Hilarious enough per se- but Elizabeth's face during it makes it even funnier!
  • Elizabeth and Philip try to have morning sex, only for the staff to barge in with breakfast. They both collapse into giggles while ordering everyone out.
  • Philip derisively nicknames the royal household and nobles who look down on him as "the moustaches," and he's so put down by this stuffy trait that one of the conditions to calm his restlessness is that Private Secretary Michael Adeane shaves, a petition that has to be delivered by a somewhat uneasy Elizabeth.
  • The Queen Mother knocking the black and white TV to get a good signal to see a story on President and Mrs. Kennedy visiting Europe.
    Queen Mother: She's so young! I always thought she was your age!
    Elizabeth: She is.
  • Elizabeth is rocked by how everyone at the Palace is going wild over the Kennedys visiting. Phillip can't help but make a crack on how "It's like meeting royalty," earning an epic eye roll.
    • Also hilarious is Adeane and Charteris's shocked whisperings as the Kennedy's blithely break every rule of Royal Protocol on greeting the Queen. Elizabeth and Philip, of course, take it all in an amused stride.
    (Jackie moves to greet the Queen ahead of her husband)
    Adeane: President first! President first! (and later, to Charteris) Did they not get a protocol sheet?
    Charteris: (defensively) Yes! But they obviously didn't read it.
  • Elizabeth dancing with Ghana's President, Kwame Nkrumah, was a rare moment where Crowning Moment of Awesome and Funny meet. Awesome being Elizabeth showing her maturity into her role as Queen and Funny being everyone else's reaction. From Adeane's face to Charteris and the play-by-play commentary being provided to London, and their shock at the thought of the Queen of the United Kingdom dancing with an African.
    Macmillan: What are they doing?!
    Charteris: Hard to say. I believe it's the foxtrot.
    • Macmillan and Adeane's Freak Out! is something to behold. They act like Elizabeth is a wayward soldier ("Get her out of there!") rather than their monarch.
  • When Elizabeth pays a visit to Lascelles, she handles a figurine of his recreation of the battle of Salamanca. After she leaves it on the battlefield and goes for the door, Lascelles is quick to put it back in its exact proper place, all while showing the viewer that not even Her Majesty is beyond his typical appalled, quiet scorn.
  • When Elizabeth kicks the Duke of Windsor out of the country, Philip comes back to their chambers tipsy that night. He explains that, in spite of his and the Queen Mother's mutual dislike of each other and his own dislike of Tommy Lascelles, the three of them got drunk together to celebrate Elizabeth forcing her uncle back into exile. He also offhandedly mentions that the Queen Mother and Lascelles are even worse off than him!
  • Philip tells Elizabeth to go and see Lascelles "for sherry or tea, or human blood. Whatever that monster drinks."


  • In a meta one, Matt Smith revealed that a friend of his had dinner with the Royal Family, and eventually got up the guts to ask if they watched the show. The result was a sharp head turn and "Don't be ridiculous!" from Philip.
  • The real Jacqueline Chan was asked about the infamous sex scene in Season 2. Her response?
    "I would never have chosen the stairs - far too uncomfortable. The kitchen table maybe."


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