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Funny / The Crow

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  • The initial minutes of confrontation with Funboy, especially Eric's deadpan reaction to being shot.
    Funboy: (having just seen a bullet hole in Eric's hand seal itself) Jesus Christ!
    Eric: Jesus. Christ. Stop me if you've heard this one. "Jesus Christ walks into a hotel..."
    Funboy: (beginning to panic, shoots Eric at point-blank range)
    Eric: (deadpan) Ow.
    • Also, after Eric dares Funboy to shoot him in the hand, Funboy does just that, leading Eric to jump back in (faked) pain. When he faces the camera, Eric gives the most amazing "that REALLY did not hurt me" facial expression before mockingly pretending to be in pain again.
    • After Eric makes Funboy shoot himself in the leg, he doesn't seem to care much about the bullet wound, but castigates Eric for putting bloodstains on his sheets.
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  • Top Dollar's grouchy frustration when a minion is rude enough not to, y'know, expire right away.
    (after stabbing Gideon in the throat) Ah, for fuck's sake, die, will ya?! (to Grange) Gimme that thing. (is handed a gun, which he shoots Gideon twice with) Thanks. (hands it back)
  • When Skank is the last one left alive he tells Top Dollar the events leading to T-Bird's death. Most of it sounded like he was grieving but he was talking so fast and incoherently it was hard to hear all of it aside from a few words. Top Dollar later lampshades this:
    Top Dollar: We oughtta videotape this and play it back in slow motion.
  • Following Top Dollar's speech to his thugs about how he wants them to "set a fire so big the gods'll notice us again", we get this gem when he calls on Skank:
    Skank: I feel like a little worm on a big fuckin' hook.
    (All the other thugs laugh)
    Top Dollar: "I feel like a little worm on a big fucking hook." Well, boy, your mama must be damn proud of you!
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  • Also from Skank - with a mouth full of chips, no less: "What's all this happy horseshit?"
  • After Eric had broken into Albrecht's apartment, they are talking to themselves, before Eric goes to leave, he gives us a great gem:
    Albrecht: Are you gonna vanish into thin air again?
    Eric Draven: I thought I'd use your front door.
    • Before that, Eric remarks on the oddity of Albrecht at home wearing nothing but an undershirt and boxer shorts... and his police cap.
  • Two cops are sitting around in their cop car:
    Cop #1: Got that cream stuff? I hate this, they can't even call it cream legally.
    Cop #2: *T-Bird drives by at full speed* What the crap?
    *Cop #2 takes off, spilling Cop #1's coffee down his front*
    Cop #1: Aaaaaaaaagh!
    • What makes this even funnier is that after Skank is killed, the same cops pull up to Club Trash and the cop whose coffee was spilled now goes "What the crap?" when the body drops upon their car.
    • After seeing Eric's painted face in the back of T-Bird's car, both cops stare at him blankly, then turn to glance at each other in disbelief.
  • Top Dollar's line right before the final confrontation.
    Top Dollar: Quick impression for you: "CAW! CAW! BANG! FUCK, I'M DEAD!"
  • When Eric is shot in the church, he at first just chuckles. Then he realizes his Healing Factor isn't working and mutters "Aw, fuck" before collapsing.
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  • "You do realize smoking is bad for you?"
  • The cops run in on Eric after he nearly massacres Top Dollar's entire crew at the club.
    Cop: That's all she wrote. Move and we shoot!
    * Eric puts up his hands as if to comply, then does a silly fast side step to his right and out the door with his hands still up and the cops shooting at him*
  • After dealing with Top Dollar Eric goes to check on Albrecht and Sarah, and collapses in exhaustion. Albrecht asks for a cigarette, and Eric can only shake his head in tired exasperation.
    • Even better Albrecht takes a smoke that Eric lights and hands to him, the cop immediately spits it out and swears off smoking.