Funny / The Chosen (TV series)

• In "Jesus Loves the Little Children", the kids are discussing the strange man they found (Jesus) on the way back to their houses. One suggests He could be a killer, hiding out from everyone. When another chastises him, he says that it's not that he doesn't like Him, but He could be a criminal. The whole conversation is held in the most casual way.
  • Jesus making silly animal noises while He works, then loudly wondering where the two hiding kids are.
• Simon Peter's hostility towards Romans in the first two seasons can be this for anyone familiar with early church history. Though it probably won't come up in the show, he'll end up moving to the capital of the Roman Empire to lead the early Christian community there.
• Thomas' solution when he and Ramah first realize they're running short on wine: telling the servants to fill the cups partway, tell anyone who asks that they'll be back in a minute, and not come back.
• From Episode 6:
  "Problem, officer?"
• In Episode 8 of Season 1, Gaius is holding out the key to Matthew's house to Matthew's estranged parents (Alpheus and Elisheva), Aplheus having just said they won't take the goods purchased by the oppression of their people.
  Gaius: Sell it, give it away, burn it down — I do not care.
  [Alpheus shrugs, goes to take the key; Gaius pulls back a little before he can take it.]
  Gaius: Don't burn it down.
• Simon the Zealot introducing himself as Simon in response to every new person as he's being introduced to a bunch of people sitting in a group.
  Simon (Peter) as Simon the Zealot introduces himself to Ramah a third time: Shh, she knows.
• Quite a few in Season 2, Episode 1: "Thunder"
  • During a Flash Forward, John is interviewing the disciples to hear their stories about Jesus. Most of them look mostly the same after fifteen years, give or take some more grey hairs... and then without warning we cut to Matthew, who has an ENORMOUS Time-Passage Beard that almost makes him unrecognizable.
  • Simon's nickname for John the Baptizer is "Creepy John." Probably the most unexpectedly funny use of it is in the Flash Forward. John is mentioned during a very serious moment, and Simon suddenly leans into the frame and says, "Creepy John." There's something both hilarious and heartwarming about Simon still using that nickname long after John's death.
  • When Jesus and company come to Photina's house for the night, Photina's father talks about how one of the bedrooms is haunted by his dead grandmother. Jesus, without missing a beat, says "Ooo, I'll take that one!"
  • After Jesus admonishes John and Big James for their prejudice towards the Samaritans, this follows:
    Jesus: You wanted to use the power of God to bring down fire and burn these people up?
    Big James: Well, it sounds a lot worse when you say it that way.
    [Jesus chuckles]
  • In an attempt to explain to the rest of the disciples the need to create a time schedule, Big James and John bring up how the rest had to search for Jesus while they were out on the fields
    Big James: You guys lost him for practically a whole day, Matthew said.
    [Simon and Andrew slowly turn to glare at Matthew]
    [Cue Matthew looking away awkwardly]
  • Jesus and the disciples have dinner at the home of a crippled farmer named Melech. The man tells the heartbreaking story of how, desperate to feed his family, he had hid with another man beside a road one night, and brutally robbed a Jewish passerby of his horse and possessions. The horse broke Melech's leg and ran away, leaving him worse off than before. Worst of all, Melech is wracked with guilt over leaving the Jew to die — until Jesus assures him that "Somebody came along and helped him." ^note By now, it's clear that Melech and his friend were the robbers in the story of the Good Samaritan. After this:
    Simon: We'd better get back to town before it gets too late.
    Jesus: Yes. We never know what sort of men may lay in wait along the side of the road, huh?
    (Melech and his wife look at Jesus.)
    Jesus: Too soon?
    (Melech chuckles)
• Episode 5 of Season 2 - Jesus has just driven a demon out of Caleb, who had attacked Simon the Zealot, and after a tense silence, John the Baptist gives a raw "YEAAAH!"
• Nathanael pegging Thomas as easy roast material in the second season is hilarious. Also hilarious is when Thomas begs him to shut up after he points out how similar Matthew and Thomas are.
• The apostles return to Capernaum in "Homecoming," and Simon is looking forward to a little alone time with Eden... which is quickly interrupted by Nathaniel and Zee coming to crash at their place. It gets funnier in the following episode when they're in their room arguing, and Simon responds by loudly stating that they'll not be fed unless they're quiet. There's a momentary silence, followed by sheepish apologies.
• "Two by Two":
  • Jesus's faux offense at one of the disciples calling the Sermon on the Mount his best one, followed by the disciple saying all of Jesus's sermons are great.
  • James and John's shared look after Jesus mentions one of the disciples' destinations is near Samaria.
• In "Physician, Heal Thyself," Joseph pulls a prank injury on a young Jesus.
• In "Clean, Part 1," we get to watch the apostles healing people for the first time, and it's both awesome and heartwarming. But it's also a little funny, because at first they seem to be just as amazed as the people they're healing.
  • The matter-of-fact way Simon the Zealot takes down the possessed man who charges him—and Matthew's complete astonishment watching it happen, so much so that Simon has to remind him to heal the man—adds some subtle humor to an otherwise creepy situation.
• "Clean, Part 2" has Simon basically use a low-level version of the Vulcan nerve pinch on a mourner who refuses to obey Jesus's order to leave Jairus's house.
• "Intensity in Tent City": Jesus heals Barnaby, who asks Him if He did it. Jesus just shrugs. Then a positively jubilant Barnaby runs over to Him and picks Him up. Also heartwarming.
• "Ears to Hear" has a scene where Andrew and Phillip talk about how they accidentally started a riot with the Parable of the Great Banquet. Judas has a Comically Missing the Point reaction to the part where several of the guests invited to the banquet have excuses not to come. Then he makes a Let Me Get This Straight... summary of all the different reasons that different groups would have taken offense from the parable, as Andrew and Phillip react sheepishly to hearing it put in those terms.
• After observing the various Decapolis leaders arguing, Jesus quips that their town was obviously a bastion of unity and harmony before his Apostles' preaching stirred things up.
• When Nashon asks for directions to find Shmuel and report Jesus's latest sermon, the woman giving him directions advises him to attach ceremonial tassels to his vest first. Nashon brushes this off, but as soon as he finds Shmuel, Shmuel asks if he lost his tassels during the ride over, eliciting a Sure, Let's Go with That reaction.
• When Shmuel and the other Rabbis are looking for witnesses one of the other spiritual leaders that spent two days listening to Jesus told them of the miracles he saw, only for the Rabbi's to get angry that Jewish people ate with Gentiles. He leaves exasperated.

  Syrophoenician leader: I tell them of a miracle and they only care about who ate with the wrong people.

• When Jesus walks on the water, Thomas sounds like he can't believe himself as he says that this is only the second most amazing thing he's seen that day (after Jesus feeding the multitude).

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