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The Boondock Saints

  • "YOU INSIGNIFCUNT!!! Little fuck!"
  • Why don't you make like a tree... AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE?
  • Most of the time Greenly opens his mouth in general, it's gonna be funny.
  • Smecker often orders Greenly to get him coffee, though we never see Greenly go to get the coffee. However, Smecker always ends up holding a fresh cup the next scene we see him in.
    Greenly: I ain't gettin' him no fuckin bagel!
    Later
    Smecker: We'll start the ass-kissing with you! [Jabs thumb over his shoulder at Greenly]
  • Connor and Murphy bickering about the rope while crawling through an air vent, which escalates into a full-on fight. And after that they are pretty giddy that it worked like it did in the movies.
    • The Russian guy, who is loudly insulting his men in Russian before Conner and Murphy burst in and kill everyone in the room, ends up on his knees speaking the Russian equivalent of "what the fuck just happened?!" before he is executed.
  • The joke that Rocco tells in the first movie.
    "A black guy..." "—NIGGER!" "Y-yeah, that's what I said."
  • Rocco accidentally kills his girlfriend's cat by slamming his fists down on the table where his gun, a surprisingly unreliable Beretta is laying. The laughs come when Rocco asks the dumb-assed question, "Is it dead?"
  • The entire scene involving Rocco tearing into the group's apartment yelling that they've gotta go because he killed two guys at a diner.
    • "I killed your cat, you druggie bitch!" "But why?" "I thought it'd bring closure to our relationship."
    • Rocco says he'll shoot himself if his girlfriend can even remember the name of her cat.
      "Uh... Skippy. Skippy!"
      "Ah, Jesus! What color was it, bitch?!"
    • "SH-YUT your FAT ASS, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into NINE GUYS YOU FUCKED!"
  • The whole scene with Smecker and his Asian boyfriend.
    Smecker: What the fuck are you doing?
    Boyfriend: I just wanted to cuddle.
    Smecker: Cuddle? What a fag.
  • Connor and Murphy messing with "Jaffar" on his first big job (actually Rocco doing a very poor rendition of Room Disservice).
    "That's nine bodies, genius! What were you gonna do, laugh the last three to death, funny man?"
  • ...That certainly illustrates the diversity of the word!
    • If you don't want to watch that clip, it's Rocco delivering what would become the page quote for Cluster F-Bomb, after seeing the leaders of The Mafiya lying dead all over the place.
  • The brothers giving Rocco shit for his improvised ski mask making him look like Mushmouth from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids (they were actually thinking of Dumb Donald, but that's neither here nor there):
    "Now Roc, are ya sure... that you're O-bee Kay-bee?"
  • Paul Smecker at one point in the film suggests, "Now...what we have here, gentlemen, is possibly the beginning of the first international mob war." A few minutes later, his brilliant little theory is proven wrong.
    • Well, it's actually right, as Papa Joe did order a hit on the Russian boss, but the Boys are a wild card nobody saw coming.
  • The scene in the strip club, especially Rocco's "tit thing."
    Connor: What the fuck are you doing?
    Rocco: (puts his hands up) I'll tip her!
    • In a Freeze-Frame Bonus when the cops are investigating the club, we see he actually did leave her some extra cash.
  • During the investigation of the firefight with Il Duce:
    Greenly: Hey, what if it was one guy with six guns?
  • Shortly after Smecker has gone into a confessional (while drunk), Rocco has followed him in with intent to kill despite the McManus brothers' wishes. He holds the priest in the confessional at gunpoint. This is the last straw—Connor reaches through the other confessional and holds Rocco at gunpoint so that the priest doesn't get hurt. Meanwhile this exchange between Smecker and the priest occurs:
    Priest: (still concerned for his life) Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?
    Smecker: No, they would never do that—well, the two Irish guys wouldn't. The Italian guy, he might. He's kind of an idiot.
    Whereupon Rocco proceeds to agree with Smecker, in an effect to sound intimidating.
  • The deleted scene from the first movie where Connor and Murphy get a call from their mother.

All Saints' Day

  • The rope argument makes its grand return as Connor and Murphy are preparing to rappel down through the window and into the building where some bad guys are.
  • "Who ordered the whoopass fajitas!?"
    • "DIIIING DOOOOOONG MOTHAFUCKA, DING DOOOOONG!!!!!!"
  • "Would somebody please come over here and-" "FUCK!" "Me up the-" "ASS!"
    • Afterwards, Murphy is on the floor from laughing so hard, with only his feet visible, kicking around the edge of the bar.
  • The entirety of the brothers' hit against the Chinese heroin dealers.
    Connor: That's heroin.
    Murphy: [pause] How the fuck would you know?
    Connor: Fuck you, I know shit!
  • The "upgrade" scene, in particular the boys arguing about the necessity of rope.
  • Greenly meets Special Agent Bloom. Instantly, he starts trying to get into her pants, something she takes full advantage of.
  • In the second movie, when Romeo meets Doc:
    Doc: Nice to meet you, lad. They call me—FUCK! ASS!
    Romeo: How ya doin', fuckass? I'm Romeo.
  • Connor is a veritable gold mine for this entry
    "STAY GOLD, PONY BOY!"
    "Oops! Busy signal. Looks like we'll have to calleth back!"
    "SHUT UP! Romeo's crying!"

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