Funny / The Big Damn Roleplay

Firefly

• Trishala mentioning she wanted to eat Strada's horse, Shadow. Strada is not pleased.
  Strada: Has anyone seen my horse?
  Trishala: Not since you went through the portal with it. I wanted to eat it too... Looked tasty. And there'd be enough meat for all of us. For a few days.
  Strada: I’d let you eat me before I'd let you have Shadow.
  • Later on, she wonders if she can eat James, who is a werewolf. He threatens to bite back.
• Cassa and Cecily's exchange over Cecily's "lone wolf" attitude in the beginning of the Firefly world.
  • Edmund_Gallow's OOC note makes it even funnier. "(Yay! Super powered cat fight!)"
• Cecily's display of soldier etiquette in front of Captain Mal Reynolds. The Captain doesn't get it.
• The fantasy-based Trishala's reactions to technology.
• The collective group reactions about James' arrival. Cassa is enamored while Cecily is freaked out.
• Cecily getting tazed by her own attack when she stormed the cockpit.
• River's reading of James.
  River: Wolf-humanoid...Only existed in Earth-that-was fables until...Big, strong, mean...fluffy...
• Cecily's "painkillers" turning out to be a large bottle of Scotch.
  • And as a result of the Scotch, Cecily's drunken ramblings.
  • Cassa even partakes in alcoholic painkillers a little later, but it’s shown that she can hold her liquor better than Cecily.
  Cecily: "Hello ship! This is your pilot speaking, and I... Well I'm hearing that damn voice in my head again. Our current destination is the bitchy sounding planet named Miranda, who if she was here right now, I'd punch her in her smug face."
• Cecily renaming the "Serenity" the "HMS Pretty Princess".
• Cassa getting backhanded by a giant hand.
• Cecily: If you all die in a fire I think I might miss the mongrel, what’s-her-face, Cassa.
  Cassa: I. Am. Not. A. MONGREL!
• The way Cassa tells Donovan off for not stopping to help her after she almost broke her mind helping him land a shuttle.
  Cassa: "You, sir, suck so much more than blood!"
  • He offers to let her punch him out, stake him in the heart as payback though.
• High!Cassa is the best Cassa there is. There’s more, but High!Cassa needs her own page.
  "Red, green, yellow, purple, blue, chartreuse. Hee hee, I have the power of color."
  "Ooh, little Cissy likes dear Donovan, does she? Cissy and Donny, sitting in a tree- Ooh! What's that?
  • Mistaking a bloodbath for a harmless fountain.
  • Claiming Cecily’s metal arm as her own. She was going to name it George.
• Cecily threw Cassa at Mythos. It makes sense in context.

Legend of Zelda

• Cassa tries to comfort Rufina when Rufina is screaming, but only so Cecily wouldn't taser her.
• Cecily's prank on Takeo.
  Cecily: Hi! I'm Doreen, and this is my fiancé, Sir Francis Cornwood. We're antique collectors that were duel possessed by a spirit of an ancient Pharaoh. We can now feel each other’s pain. *Stomps on Donovan’s foot* Ow!
• Cassa nicknaming Kael “Joe”.
• Cassa sassing Strada for learning the Happy Mask Salesman's song.
  Cassa: "I will say, Strada, I wouldn't have taken you for being a flute player, or any kind of instrumentalist without breaking it."
• Rufina’s view of the other players through her drug-addled mind. Strada was a reptile, Cecily was a cactus, Cassa was a blue-skinned genie, and Donovan a walking skeleton.
• Gwen’s intro was perfect for an adorkable character.
• Cassa attempts to reason with Vaati… Using Ray’s greeting from Ghostbusters. She nearly got turned into a Deku Scrub for her troubles.
• “Cecily still passed out, yo.”
• Rufina eating Vaati, gruesome a thought as that might be. Strada thinks it’s normal.
  Cassa: "Rufiiinaaa! That was horrifying! Your jaw unhinged, like a snake."
• Ken shouts at Dante for shooting at Majora, but Dante’s rebuttal was pure gold.
  Dante: "What the hell am I supposed to do, throw my goggles at him?"
• Cassa shoving Din into a bag of holding to win their battle.

Harry Potter

• Dumbledore became Sassy!Dumbledore for his talk with Slender.
• Cecily and Alucard’s entire interaction in the Shrieking Shack.
• Sarah to the Whomping Willow:
  Sarah: "I just appeared in this place with no explanation to be found, and I've just been waiting to find something I can beat down. So... thanks for volunteering!"
• The Whomping Willow sends Strada flying into the Forbidden Forest, where he gets drunk on Fluffy's blood and rides Fluffy like some kind of warhorse.
• Gwen gets very excited about being in Harry Potter, since she's a Draco fangirl.
• Rufina screaming "For the hunt!" as she fights the troll.
• Alucard's thoughts:

  "Cecily seemed smart, when she wasn't busy shooting him in the stomach."

• Cecily gets very tired of the antics at Hogwarts once Strada shows up with Fluffy.
  Cecily: "Stra-da! Get your ass the fuck off that beast this instant! You will come down here and avenge Donovan and Cassa or so help me, I am shooting your full of holes like I did with Alucard!" *beat* "And there is no way in hell you are keeping it!"
• Cecily, about the Howler:
  Cecily: "For the love of everything shiny. If this isn't just a piece of paper, nobody touch my corpse."
• Cecily immediately elects herself as the person to go talk to Dumbledore and calls herself "Secret Agent Goody Two Shoes".
• Catherine kills Professor Snape with a hairpin.
• After electing herself to go and speak to Dumbledore, Cecily's method of finding out where his office is located is to grab the first male student she sees and kick him in the groin. The poor victim is Neville Longbottom.
• When Cecily meets Hermione, she demands that she be taken to see "Dumbledork". She wasn't making fun; she literally thought that was his name.
• Even when being threatened with a weapon, Hermione is more concerned about Cecily's wound. Even Cecily doesn't seem to understand why Hermione isn't more concerned over being threatened. Even better, after Hermione asks if she's okay, Cecily starts talking like she's speaking to her therapist.
  Cecily: "Uh, I'm pointing a sharp implement at you, and am being down right antagonistic... And the answer to your question would be a no, but I doubt you're asking about my home life, mental stability or emotional state. Otherwise... I'm actually quite injured at the moment. Emotionally speaking, a... Close friend just died, and physically, I had my own bullet redirected into my shin. It's okay though, I'm on drugs, that after a brief stay on a sky- I mean, space ship, I discovered are pretty low tech for what I thought was the height of technology, but still, I don't feel much pain at the moment in my leg. However, in my heart, I feel like I'm about to die."
• During the entire duration of the Harry Potter world, Cecily makes magical things happen, such as inflating a girl a la Aunt Marge, causing a book to fly out a window, and even making her hammer burst into flames while she fights. She's a witch and she hates magic.
• Fang's entry to the BDRP is his many bats swarming Lucius Slender who struggles to get them off of him.
• After Fang takes a form that looks like a mix of Strada and Alucard, Alucard looks at his flask and ponders what kind of drugs are in the blood he's drinking.
• When Donovan gets to the hospital wing, he finds Cecily tied up on a bed there. He teasingly calls her his "dearest damsel in distress".
• Donovan doesn't consider the members of the group to be "people". He uses the term loosely.
• When Cecily wants to make requests, she calls Cassa "Second Coming". Cassa is not amused with the nickname.
• During Donovan and Dumbledore's fight, Dumbledore asks if Donovan has ever been featured on a Chocolate Frog Card.
• When Cassa makes Cecily's new weapon, Alucard gets nervous and says Cecily could behead him with it. Cassa is pretty dismissive about his concern.
  Alucard: "Cass, what the hell are you doing? She can take my head off with that thing."
  Cassa: "It'll grow back. Now, shush."
• While most of the group is going off the find the portal, Cassa and Cecily both think it's a better idea to go and get a drink.
• When Cassa opens a portal to the Hog's Head, Cecily mentions how that doesn't surprise her anymore.
• Dumbledore's flippant attitude during their fight starts annoy Donovan greatly, to the point where he points out he was insulting Dumbledore and calling him an insufferable idiot. Dumbledore assumes it's because Donovan doesn't have a Chocolate Frog Card.
  • He also doesn't say "For the love of God" or "For heaven's sake". He says "For the love of Hell".
• When Cecily gets into the bar, she immediately asks for two glasses of the strongest stuff the bar has and immediately leaves Cassa to pick up the tab.
• As they begin drinking, Cassa and Cecily are both in agreement that the game is a giant binge waiting to happen. Cassa is surprised it took three worlds for them to find a pub.
  • Cassa and Cecily's drinking personalities are revealed: Cecily is a crying drunk and Cassa is a laughing drunk. While Cecily is sobbingly baring her soul, Cassa can't stop laughing and making inappropriate jokes at everything she's told.
• After he kills Dumbledore, Donovan uses a body of a Hogwarts founding member to summon The Morrigan, the deity of witchcraft. The Morrigan is less than pleased to see him.
  The Morrigan: "Donovan Sheir. How unpleasant it is to see your face again. And to think we had thought we would never need to lay eyes on you again."
• Once the Morrigan is summoned, Lucius shows up to make her sign a liability waiver.
• Demanding to know why she's been summoned, Donovan asks her to fight a friend of his: Cassa. Her only response is "You don't have friends". Donovan revises his request to make Cassa his acquaintance.
• When the Morrigan approaches Cassa, she says "Stand and face us". Cassa drunkenly points out there's just one person, wonders if the Morrigan can't count, then asks if she has multiple personality disorder.
• When Cecily requests that Cassa make her sober, Cassa does it by slapping her across the face. Then, deciding it "looked like fun", Cassa slaps herself out of drunkenness.
  • She then fearfully apologizes and asks that Cecily not kill her.
• When the Morrigan gives Cecily and Trishala the chance to leave, Trishala decides she's staying in the pub until Cassa is done. She takes a seat on a table and tells Cassa "don't die".
• Morgause, one of the three beings that makes up the Morrigan, decides to fight Cecily. The fight can only be described as a cussing contest with a side of combat.
• When Cassa and Alucard hesitate at joining in Cecily's fight against the Death Eaters, Fang charges in. It causes them to remark that being outdone by Fang is not one of their prouder moments.
  Alucard: "We just got out-braved by a pipsqueak."
  Cassa: "Yeah, we did."
  Alucard: "Not one of our prouder moments."
  Cassa: "Do we ever have those?"

Silent Hill (Pre-Reboot)

• Silent Hill starts with the entire group of players in one cell, being interrogated by Cybil Bennett, who constantly calls them freaks.
  Alucard: "Freaks? It's rude to call people names."
  • Alucard then points out that having 11 people (all of the characters in the BDRP at the time) in one small cell is a serious fire code violation.
• Donovan laments that Cassa is a reality warper and killing her won't be an easy job. He never gets the easy jobs.
• Upon seeing that there are a lot of new faces, Cecily points at each of the newcomers and asks "Who the fuck are you?" She then points at Alucard and calls him an asshole, then asks "Who doesn't know who my sweet ass is?"
  • Ivan Delay, one of the new players, says that he doesn't know "who your sweet ass is, but I certainly would not mind getting acquainted with it". Cecily's response is to threaten him.
  Cecily: "My name is Cecily North, a med tech. So, when I say bitches get stitches, I mean it. I'll give you as many stitches as you need, and be the cause of all of them."
• When Ivan asks if Fang's shapeshifting is normal, Cecily proceeds to tell him that normal doesn't exist in the BDRP.
  Cecily: "Norrrrmal! Nothing about any of this is fucking normal! I've had god after god all up in my face! Vampires! Undead, fucking fairies, mutants, magic! Mother fucking magic! You don't even know what the fuck is happening, you poor, god damn, pig. We're in war. I have no fucking clue where the game master is, but the bastard is waiting for us somewhere. We're thrust into a realm, and we have to fight tooth and nail to find a portal to thrust us into the next freak show! Welcome to the dark carnival brother, we either fight or something unnatural kills us."
  • Fang's reaction to her rant is to tell Ivan "Trust Cecily. She's a good strawberry."

Silent Hill (Reboot)

• Before realizing she's still in the game, Cassa wonders why her bed is so firm and then decides that Lucius may have left her sleeping on the ground, since it seems like something he would do.
• Cecily's first word upon waking up in Silent Hill? "FUCK!"
• Alucard's response to people making noise is to pull his coat over his head and ignore them. Cassa then tries to wake him up.
  Cassa: "Al?"
  Alucard: "Noisy people, go away."
  Cassa: *pulling his coat away* "Hon, wake up. We're in hell again."
  Alucard: "Bad woman take blanket."
  Cassa: I will tip you off of this gurney. Just try me."
• Gill, after waking up, is asking questions about where they are, unaware that he's been abducted and forced into a life-or-death game. Cecily is having none of it.
  Cecily: "Someone break it to them gently please. We don't need anybody crying."
• Fang explains the game to Gill and Tony... in Lucius's voice. Cecily's response is "The fuck, dude?" Cassa has a violent reaction, crumpling a map in her hands and looking around for Lucius. She then tries to bribe fang with a container of strawberries if Fang promises to never imitate Lucius again.
• Tony quickly figures out that Alucard might be a vampire. Then Gill asks Tony if he's a vampire... right in front of Alucard. Cue Tony becoming very uncomfortable.
  Tony: "Oh, no. I'm not a vampire hunter. I'm not even sure he was a real person. I mean, my grandmother was the one who always claimed she was a vampire hunter, but I always thought she was making it up. I don't really know how to fight. I can only really ever defend myself. I mean, I can fight a little. But that has nothing to do with vampire hunting."
• Cecily's method to helping Donovan out of a BSOD? Hit him in the chest with her warhammer while shouting "Trust me, I'm a doctor!" It works.
  Donovan: Cecily, darling, please tell me that you knew beforehand that you wouldn't accidentally kill me with that swing."
  • Even better, Cecily takes the time to flirt with him.
  Cecily: "I figured if it did kill you, we'd just be short one murderous vampire." *winks at Donovan*
  • Cassa, instead of being horrified at Cecily, actually finds it funny.
  Cassa: "Cecily, never change."
• Cecily mobilizes the group in a way that only she can"
  Cecily: "Okay duckies, we are in a hospital! I'm praying this is the last round of this game, but if it isn't, we should be stocking up everyone world with whatever weird shit we can get our hands on. Since we're in a hospital, we should stock up on any unexpired or non-perishable medical supplies." *points her hammer at Cassa* "You and I are gonna raid this place! I need you to make your bigger on the inside bag connect to a pocket of my bag, that way we can have access to all the drugs and shit. Make sure I have access to the shit we took off the space ship. You have the map, so you have to lead us to the storage space." *points her hammer at Donovan* "And you! Legs for days! You need to keep to the head of the group so we don't get surprised. Maybe keep Fang on you, he seems indestructible and malleable." *points her hammer at Gill and Tony* "You two! Cassa and I are your god damn den mothers now. You stick with us and you live. You get hurt, you come to me. You have an emotional issue, go to someone else. Need a sick ass weapon, Cassa can provide. Got it?!"
• Gill calls himself a vampire hunter, but it's revealed that the vampires of his world are nothing but "albinos, goth teens, and bears with mange".
• When the group decides to try and heal Alucard with a blood transfusion, Cassa volunteers to give blood. Cecily decides it should be Gill since he nearly killed Alucard.
  Cecily: "You choke the poor boy to death, you're gonna give him some blood."
  • Cassa, displeased, at least tries to advocate for Gill.
  Cassa: "Please don't drain the poor kid. I know this sounds bad, but the dead woman is still fresh."
• Gill is dubious to believe that a transfusion will work, calling it witchcraft, and says a doctor should be healing Alucard through prayer. Cassa very confusedly explains that a blood transfusion is science and that Cecily is a doctor. He believes Cecily to be a dire moose hunter.
  Cassa: "Uh... A blood transfusion is just...science. Nothing witch-y about it. And Cecily is an actual doctor. Or, at least she says she is. I haven't seen her medical license. Although, if she actually has one, then that means she took the Hippocratic Oath and that opens up a lot of worrying questions about her methods..."
• When Cassa tries to get Cecily to stop the transfusion, Cecily's response is to throw gauze at Cassa and tell her "A monkey could fix that!"
• The examination room the group has to go through to get to a medicine storeroom has a disemboweled corpse sitting in it. Cecily has a bad reaction.
  Cecily: "JESUS titty fucking Christ! Bad! Bad bad bad!" *goes into the storeroom* "God damn murder hospital... Bitches are gonna die here..."
• Fang becomes obsessed with Cassa's cellphone (which he calls a "hip mouth light"), which she uses as a flashlight. When she drops it, he takes it and she doesn't get it back until he vomits it onto her lap.
• After finding out that vampires are real, Gill drops his crossbow and it goes off, accidentally shooting Donovan through the chest.
  Donovan: "Do me a favor, silly Gilly, and try not to fight from here on."
  • Later on, Gill's scarf knocks him off balance, almost stabbing Donovan in the chest with a knife. Donovan then demands that Gill not come within 10 feet of him.
• When Cecily and Alucard gets separated from the rest of the group, Cassa tells the both of them to be careful. Cecily's response:
  Cecily: "Don't tell me what to do!"
• Fang splits himself in to two, one half going with Alucard and Cecily, the other half staying with Cassa. Both halves have trouble communicating with their proper group.
  Alucard: "You gonna be alright, kid?"
  The Fang with Cassa: "I will be alright!"
  Cassa: "Who're you talking to, Fang?"
  The Fang with Alucard: "I'm talking to Alucard! Duh!"
  • Even Donovan expects the Fang with his group to respond to Cassa and spends 30 seconds staring at Fang before he realizes they weren't getting a response.
• As they're searching for a way to get back to the rest of the group, Cecily decides then is a good time to have a chat with Alucard about Cassa.
  Cecily: "While we have a minute though there's something I've been meaning to ask you... How do I put this... Are you like, a were-vampire? Complete fucking asshole at night and decent person during the day?"
  • The voice that was causing intrusive thoughts to Cassa was about to tell Cecily to pick a fight with Alucard, but Cecily beat it to the punch.
• Gertie, a showrunner like Lucius, is introduced screaming about injustice and the fact that Catherine got more screen time than her. It's her turn to introduce a character, but Alessa hijacked the game. Gertie decides to just toss the character in anyway.
• Silas, the character Gertie doomed, is at first confused about his new surroundings, but quickly sobers up.
  Silas: "I'm... suddenly aware that I would rather not be here."
  • Cecily is unable to tell whether he is a newcomer to the game or a construction of the Silent Hill world. Either way, he was interrupting her.
• When Donovan's group reaches an elevator that requires them to be in close quarters for the ride, Donovan puts Tony and Cassa in between him and Gill. Tony is unhappy about being a shield for a vampire.
• As she's dying, Cecily uses the last of her strength to flip Alucard off and tell him to go choke on a dick.
• Charlotte, another showrunner, is introduced being in the middle of plating an disgusting aspic (salmon steaks and cottage cheese in gelatin). She considers it so important that she puts off Lucius's call until it's over.
• After Donovan kills Cassa, The Mother shows up to find out what happened to her herald. It turns out the all-knowing universal being of Cassa's world is nothing but sass. The first thing she does is summon a projection of Cassa blowing Donovan's arm up and says how she's going to fall asleep every night while watching it. She then goes on to call out Donovan for killing Cassa, asking if he often goes around killing the heralds of different deities. She also complains that Donovan ruined the two hours of work it took to remake Cassa so she could have her reality warping powers.
• When the Pyramid Head rips Alucard's arm off, Alucard's first instinct is to take his arm back and beat the Pyramid Head to death with it.

The World Ends with You

• Cecily is the first to wake up in Shibuya. She sees Alucard, runs over, and kicks him in the hip as hard as she can as revenge for killing her.
  Cecily: "NOW WE'RE EVEN!"
  • Alucard wakes up to being kicked in the hip and is unhappy.
  Alucard: "I drank you and you're still here..."
• Donovan's first action upon waking up in Shibuya is to punch Alucard "in his fanged fucking mouth" for killing Cecily.
• When Cassa steps in to defuse the situation between Alucard and Donovan:
  Cassa: "Can we all please calm down before someone loses an arm or something?" *looks at Donovan, sees he's missing an arm* "Like... Donovan did... apparently... Okay. When and how?"
• Cecily doesn't take kindly to Donovan fighting for her honor, so she kicks Donovan in the groin.
  Donovan: ''*taking the kick like a champ* "You are a child, Cecily North."
• After losing her memories of him, Alucard tries to get Cassa to remember that he's her boyfriend.
  Cassa: "I have a boyfriend? Huh, I've always looked at girls more... Oh god, and my last boyfriend was just trash."
• After losing all of his memories, Donovan asks Cassa if he normally has two wings and an arm.
  Donovan: "Is this... the normal amount of these appendages for me to have?"
  Cassa: "Uh, of course I know you. You're Donovan Shier and no, you normally have two less wings and one more arm. As you had just finished explaining only a minute ago, some woman blew up your arm. What did you do, refuse her marriage proposal?"
• When everyone chooses partners, Alucard and Silas are the last two remaining. Since Alucard doesn't know Silas's name, he calls him "Gandalf".
• Alucard is not happy about having to fight a frog Noise.
  Alucard: "I’ve battled a power-stealing albino, an upstart little shit who could erase people, that giant tentacle monster. I’ve even sparred against my girlfriend who can turn gravity into gravy. I’m insulted."
  Silas: "You talk a lot."
• Joshua slowly gets more impatient with the entire group, unaware that they're normally thrown into worlds with no explanation.