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Funny / The Battle Cats

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With a game this strange, there's bound to be tons and tons of hilarity.

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    Normal Cats 
Macho Leg Cat: Every day is Leg Day. Mastered the Art of Leg.
Lion Cat: Thinks quick, acts quick, and uses his head. Uses his mane to clean the house.
    Special Cats 
Gato Amigo: Out to bring joy to the senoritas of the world. He's never been to Mexico, he's just a Mariachi nerd.
Tricycle Cat: The coolest Cat on the block. Can't ride a real bike — parents said no.
Cramped Cats: Capsule Cat felt lonely and posted an ad for roommates. Overestimated the space in his flat. It's always cuddle time, whether they like it or not!
Cat Bros: Living happily in a plastic bubble. No need for the outside world!!! (Don't make them a role model, kids...)
Secret Base: A homemade fortress as resilient as the $0.75 budget allows. Tough against various attacks, except moisture... a bit weak against that.
Cooldown Cat: Hogs the fan after getting out of a hot bath. Attack style shows his aggressive selfishness.
Coin Cat: An invaluable collector's item! Only 9 billion were produced!
True Valkyrie Cat: Changed to her final form. Troubled because God keeps hitting on her.
Cat God the Great: At long last, Cat God has joined the fight! His holy sneeze knocks back all but Metal enemies, and his Omni-strikes are pretty cool too.
Filibuster Cat X: An ancient lifeform once annihilated by the power of Doge, but now restored with super glue.
Filibuster Cat Y: Mystery Cat once thought lost to the universe. Updated his paint job with a more slimming color.
Ururun Wolf: "I swear allegiance to those who defeated me!" No one asked. Joined the Cat Army anyway.
Masked Yulala: Joined the Cat Army, saying "The Law of my clan is to serve the strongest of warriors!” Cool story, bro.
    Rare Cats 
Gentleman Cat: A very well dressed cat. Until... just call the police.
Gentleman Bros.: A gentleman's agreement makes life easier for everyone. But whoever's on bottom has it worse.
Sanzo Cat: On a journey to save souls through enlightenment. Mostly just beats up the local wildlife, though.
Doctor Cat: His medical philosophy is "Hair of the Dog". If it doesn't kill ya, it must be working, right?!
Adult Cat: This Cat reached legal age and started to drink. Don't mind the ropes.
Sick Cat: This cat drank a bit too much. Everything in moderation!
Prisoner Cat: After the 20th wine cooler, he had to be locked up for his own good!
Kite Cat: Her mission is to bring more smiles to the world. Sexy Legs complains about getting smacked in the face though...
Eggy Cat: Dressed to the nines for Spring! Didn't think about ease of movement when choosing a look.
Noodle Cats: Always fast, cheap and delicious! This describes both the Cats and their noodles.
Ritual Cat: This world is too brutal and unfair to tolerate! Primitive rage has overtaken him. Why flame on social media when you can flame IRL?
Food Stall Cat: Planning to corner the grilled calamari market. Forgot to pay taxes, so now business takes place on the run.
Delivery Cat: Brings gifts from the Cat God for you! Of course, it's all cash-on-delivery. Best pay up or risk divine wrath.
Psychocat: Bends metal when excited. Loves cereal, but always ends up with a useless spoon before he can eat.
Neo Psychocat: His happiness opens up extradimensional portals. Don't accept his invitation to play catch-ball.
Robocat: Captured by an evil organization and remade to be an unstoppable, merciless android who knocks back Black. (So cute, though!)
Rover Cat Mk II: Cutting edge NYASA Cat probe. Transmission power is so advanced that it even gets the dirty channels.
    Super Rare Cats 
Dancing Flasher Cat: Someone you don't want to see on the street. Dances skillfully to keep the game kid-friendly.
Nerd Cat: Completely fearless... until leaving his basement. Net denizen who is famous for flaming.
Cyberpunk Cat: Having mastered cyberspace, he's moved on to losing his shirt in the cryptocurrency market.
Juliet the Maiko: Romeo turned out to be a real jerk. Now aiming for a total image change (and a cute samurai lord).
Cat Toaster: Fed up with making toast every day, went on strike by firing bread at Dad's face.
Surfer Cat: Spent so long hunting the perfect wave. Now he's reached 40 without truly living life(?)
Castaway Cat: Says he wants to escape his desert island, but he's secretly enjoying his permanent vacation.
Metal Macho: Metal skin reduces all damage taken to a minimum. Proud of his beautiful skin, leaves his arms uncovered.
Gold Cat: Rolled in gold dust for a luxurious look. ...though it is just the same old cat.
Gold Macho Cat: Rolled in gold dust for a luxurious look. Says it aimed for the no-sleeve look but painting its arms just slipped its mind.
Cat Base Mini: Who can say why, but this Cat has undergone rigorous training to become a splendid fort. His wave attack is actually just loud yelling.
Cat Base Jr.: Bought a cosplay helmet by mail order. Likes to stalk strangers while pretending to be a tower; his wave fires if he gets too excited.
Cat Base Ultra: Through sheer willpower, transformed themself into the ideal Cat Base with cutting-edge LAZERBEAMS! Still makes pew-pew mouth noises when firing.
Prof. Cat Jobs: Won the Nyabel Prize in economics last year. His debate skills can confuse enemies so badly, they lose much of their offensive power.
Sniper the Recruit: Before the battlefield, boot camp. Only given a potato gun, so don't expect TOO much knockback from his super long-distance attack.
Crazed Cat: The basic cat. Crazed version gains godspeed. But his legs are too short...
Manic Flying Cat: This manic flying object shows no mercy, firing light beams to destroy whole cities from range. More power! More range! Muahaha!
Catway: A tech CEO who patrols the office in style, looking for lazy interns to punish!
Drone Cat: A cutting edge Unmanned Aerial Feline (UAF), Tends to crash regularly... tech still under development!
Time Traveller Cat: A future timeline's envoy to the present Cats. Often time slips into the movie theater for free...
Catornado: Wanted to skip school so badly, he became a typhoon to cause a national weather alert.
    Uber Rare Cats 
Sea Maiden Ruri: A mermaid NEET from the mystic seas. Dreams of cute boys who'd risk drowning to save her.
Sarukani: Won best supporting actor as a li'l monkey for "Selfish Persimmons". Everyone hates working with him.
Rock Revengers: The kids Sarukani did wrong formed the metal act: Causin' Effect. Revenge is a dish best served heavy.


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