- Suede parodying his viewer mail in his Comment Special and Trigun videos."You play the worst Air Guitar I have ever seen. But, I liked the vid. meh, not bad."
"Oh, and it's not like I don't respect your opinion, but i also have to disagree that anime openings are more creative than American intro songs for cartoons, in general. They both have a bunch of good, and not so good, intro themes. Some of my favorite theme songs for animated series are American, just like how some of my favorites are also anime openings."
"This is outstanding. Great editing and acting. Love the curtains."
"You suck! Why must you rip off The Nostalgia Critic? Every time someone like AVGN and NC show up someone has to copy them!
"You Rock! I hope you're also going to do reviews, why not review this fine anime?
"I don't like you! You have a weird accent, and things that are different make me fell threatened.Why don't you act more like the NC?"
"LOL dude amv heaven is great but could you review this anime? I'll lose respect for you and tell the internet that you find boys interesting if you do not."
"You suck! You aren't creative enough to review an anime and I compensate for things outside of my control by putting people who caught a break down."
"So, I heard you like mudkips?"
"Review an anime!"
"I HAET YOU! REVIEW AN AHNEEMAY!"
"I LUV YOU! REVIEW ANIME!"
"So I like your curtains..."
- The opening to AMV Heaven synchronizes a song and a clip of an anime to represent a angel singing. The song used in the intro? Smack My Bitch Up.
- During the Trigun review, the entire lead-in to the actual review, with the conflicting messages, conflicting Suedes, and a compliment on the curtains. Said curtains were also randomly praised in the (parody) comment special.
- You know Evil Brits? Well Suede has in his Top 11 Anime Villains list, what can only be described as an Evil Kiwi.
- His...reaction to Mion (Shion?) from Higurashi: When They Cry.Suede: AHHHHHHH! I'm unclean! AHHHHHHH!
- His Breathless Non Sequitur at the end of his portion on Orochimaru.Suede: Orochimaru; He's a cold-hearted snake and HOLY CRAP he's a woman.
- It's topped by his reaction to the Mushi from Mushishi:
- And this moment when he talks about Frieza:Frieza: You ruined everything, you Saiyan freakshow! How dare you meddle in my affairs!
Subtitle: WHAR'S MAH METAMUSIL!!?!?
- Suede trying to be dark and creepy, which basically means turning down the lights, dropping his voice an octave, speaking slowly, and having ominous organ music playing in the background.
- Benzaie tries to interrupt the episode while holding the book from Death Note, and Suede tells him to shut up. Suede suffers a heart attack as the episode ends.
- His...reaction to Mion (Shion?) from Higurashi: When They Cry.
- His Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children review contains many:
- The Exposition Song:Suede: Exposition is really lame, I'm bored out of my skull, heaven it's way too long my gosh, maybe I'll watch Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.Suede: Final Fantasy VII! Answering the phone!
- The constant captions of "LYING" whenever he says that the movie will get better or that something makes sense.
- His summarizing of certain scenes.Suede: Then Kadaj gives the children a really whiny speech that pretty much goes like this: "I am eeeeevil! I want to destroy the world! Look at my leather! Don't dream it, be it! Religious subtext!"
- After showing several clips of Cloud angsting, he deadpans the chorus from 'Crawling" by Linkin Park.
- "And so in typical anime fashion, Cloud defeats the giant beast with the help of his friends. Awwww."
- His reasoning behind why Rufus covered his face, despite the fact that the audience already knew who he was. He was just too pretty.
- His Advent Children review contains many, but one of the best is:"Well, Cloud found out in an earlier fight that the stuff actually comes off with water (which makes me wonder about the hygiene of these little kids) and he gathers all the kids to...
(Cloud walks through a pool water over to one of the kids) "No..."
(Cloud grabs one of the kids and brings him into the pool of water with him) "No they can't..."
(Cloud cups water in his hands above the kid) "Oh, you have GOT to be..."
(Ode to Joy plays as Cloud pours water over the kid's head with the message "RELIGION IS GOOD AND CLOUD IS JEEBUS" over the screen) "For the love of! WHY, MOVIE, WHY!? You could have been cool, you know! You could have been a contender!"
- And in his commentary he discusses the angry Youtube comments he got when he posted the review there, including "You suck", "You n00b", and "You sound like Mr. Bean."
- The Exposition Song:
- From his "Top 11 American Anime" review:
- Getting tongue tied while trying to pronounce Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go
- Pausing briefly in his listing of the numerous Animesque shows to unsheathe his katana and threaten Kappa Mikey.
- The recreation of his favorite episode of The Legend of Calamity Jane using crude doodle art, because he couldn't track down the actual footage.
- Stating that while young boys had the option of idolizing either John Cena or Ben 10, girls had no choice other than Hannah Montana.
- Trying to guess who wrote The Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot, followed by Linkara's annoyed cameo.Suede-1: Who wrote the original comic that Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot was based on?
Suede-2: Ah...Brian Michael Bendis?
Suede-2: Judd Winick?
Suede-2: Stan Le--
Suede-2: Ah, it's got to be Lee Falk—
Suede-2: Carl Barks?
Suede-1: Okay, now you're just being silly.
Linkara: (bored) It's Frank Miller.
Both Suedes: What?!
Linkara: It's Frank Miller.
Suede-1: Frank "Has a Thing for Castration" Miller?
Suede-2: Frank "I'll Dissolve a Kitten in Acid if I Think it Looks Cool" Miller?
Linkara: (laughing) No, not that Frank Miller.
Suede-2: Not that Frank Miller?
Linkara: (outraged) Yes, that Frank Miller!
Both Suedes: Woah, woah, sorry, yeah, just, sorry, ugh.
Suede-2: So who'd you think it was?
Suede-1: Alan Moore.
(Suede-2 starts to take out his katana as Suede-1 protests)
Suede-1: Well he wrote Top 10! He's all over the shelves! He'll write anything!
Suede: Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot; even the title reminds you of anime. Created by Neil Gaiman.
Linkara: (annoyed) It's Frank Miller.
- "Royal amounts of posterior were collided with feet."
- Him saying that Avatar: The Last Airbender is different from any of his other choices on the list because, as he puts it, the show was completely written out before it was produced and "has a be-GIN-ning... a MID-dle... and an END!", as if he's teaching a child the alphabet!
- During the filming of MarzGurl's Character Description (that was made in front of the doorway of Doug's house), he enters the house, turns his head, notices what's going on, makes a 'Oh Crap!' face and tries to sneak to the other side of the house with his wife, Jessica, following him. Unfortunately his character description was filmed outside Doug's house, so the same doesn't happen with him.
- Suede Played Ninja Gaiden Sigma Level 1. "Forget my sword, I'm so confident in my ninja skills I'm going to kill you with three kicks to the face!"
- Plus the running gag about 'Gaping holes in your defenses' and Ninja Accountants.
- His boiling point when reviewing the Phoenix Wright musical. Complete with text saying he's a "closet Phoenix/Maya shipper"!
- The giant otaku troll drawing in The Girl Who Leapt Through Time review.
- From his review of "Hold Me Now" AMV.Suede: I now want to watch an anime called Princess Tutu about ballet - after listening to Swedish pop music! *awful coughing commences with confused Suede checking himself* Pretty sure that was my macho.
- Suede Played: Nancy Drew At Night.
Suede: Inner peace, inner... peace. Inner peace, inner peace!. Inner peace, inner peace, Nike swoosh. Hyphen. Bamboo. Leaf. Raindrop. Raindrop. ...Thing. (The puzzle resets) Nooo! Oh, you... (rattles his keyboard)
- His reactions to the butchered Japanese and the robotic cat are especially funny.
- When having to trace Nancy's name in katakana, where the slightest mistake means a reset.
- Watching him go from 'meh, how can a Nancy Drew game be scary?' to 'OHMYGODthe demon cat!' is very gratifying.
- Suede's review of Pokémon: The First Movie feat. Linkara and JewWario is full of funny moments.
- When they log into the Pokémon MMO, Suede and Linkara look like cartoon drawings of themselves, then Suede asks where JewWario is, when suddenly..JewWario: Hey guys! Man, these graphics are amazing!
Linkara and Suede: (stunned silence)
JewWario: ... What? Don't you judge me!
- Also, this (and their expressions are priceless!):Suede: It's not a matter of judgement, JewWario, it's a matter of my brain having to shift gears without a clutch.
Linkara: I hurt myself in my confusion!
Suede: Kindly remove part of one your X-chromosomes and meet us back here, please.
- Also, this (and their expressions are priceless!):
- "THERE WAS NO MERCY!!!"
- "...You've reached a higher level of nerd, haven't you?"
- Photoshopping Pikachu's face on top of Zeus and Moby-Dick.
- In a nice Call-Back to Suburban Knights, Suede gets fed up at Mewtwo's hypocrisy and has JewWario explain what hypocrisy is to him. It goes as well as you'd expect.
- When the clone Pokémon start waking up:Linkara: It looks like a Rhydon giving birth!
- Near the end when Pikachu is trying to shock Ash out of his "death". But even with the riffing, a Pokéfan may still find themselves both laughing and crying.JewWario: CLEAR!
Linkara: LIVE! DARN YOU, LIVE!
Suede: No, Pikachu, Electric isn't effective against rock! Get Squirtle... get Squirtle...
- The part where they make fun of Giovanni's Italian nature. Extra points for having him sounds like Italy.
- Suede (as Giovanni): I wonder what's on MythBusters...
- JewWario points out that Mew's "it's what's on the inside that counts" speech from the 4kids version, actually was about that the true Pokémon would always win over the copies in one-to-one battle in the original Japanese. The trio looks on in horror, as the same clip is now rendered in black and white, and dubbed over with one of Hitler's speeches.
- The beginning of a Running Gag for the reviews.Nurse Joy: Pokémon are not meant to fight. Not like this.
Linkara: (crying fakely) Not like thiiis!
- When they log into the Pokémon MMO, Suede and Linkara look like cartoon drawings of themselves, then Suede asks where JewWario is, when suddenly..
- In his Damekko Dobutsu review, he starts off with a speech stating that he likes something beyond his age and gender demographic.. He is of course talking about Damekko Dobutsu, but just as he cuts to himself saying this, there's a DJ Pon-3 plushie on his shoulder.
- And the pony jokes don't stop there; when talking about a unicorn and a pegasus that are twins (pointing out earlier that the pegasus' personality is similar to Fluttershy's), he can't help but cut to the beginning scene of "Baby Cakes."
- The photo montage of Harajuku fashion-goers set to the can-can, the music swelling at just the right times when tanned kogals are shown.
- Part two of the crossover with Linkara and JewWario, The Power of One is still full of the funny.
- Their reaction to Lawrence III's Cool Ship and how ridiculous it is:Suede: Who...is this guy?
Linkara: Why does he have a pneumatic chair that rises through his Sistine Chapel-sized ceiling into a flying Steampunk fortress of death?
Suede: OK, when did this character suddenly become amazing? I mean, sure it's goofy and over the top, but I just want to keep watching to know this guy's story. How'd he get this thing? Why does he want the birds?
Linkara: How does he keep his Doom-coptor afloat when the blades don't spin nearly fast enough?
Jew Wario: Maybe the propellers are just wind generators that power the anti-graviton or something.
Suede: That just raises further questions!
- Linkara and Suede start to feel their age when they realize that the film is over 12 years old. Jewario, who is in his forties, cuts in to tell them that now they know how he feels. Linkara and Suede's reaction is pure gold.Suede & Linkara: (like chastised little kids talking to an adult) Yes, Mr. Carmical...
Jew Wario: NOW CUT THAT OUT!
- When Team Rocket decides to prepare a lifeboat, while they're still on a boat...that isn't sinking.Jew Wario: Yo dawg! I heard you like boats!
- The playing chess Running Gag.
- Linkara's and Suede's increasing irritation at changes made to the movie by 4Kids.
- Linkara and Jewario teasing Suede about being a Pokéshipper as a kid. Even the narrator gets in on it!
- Every time someone in the movie says "Shamuti", and the guys incorporate it into the "Shipoopi" song from The Music Man.
- Their reaction to Lawrence III's Cool Ship and how ridiculous it is:
- From the review of Pikachu's Vacation and Pikachu's Rescue Adventure:
- Pikachu's Vacation begins with Pikachu peeking from inside a circle, so Suede plays the James Bond theme to make it feel a little bit like a Bond Gun Barrel opening.
- When watching Pikachu's Rescue Adventure, Suede comments on the seemingly random appearance of a Leaf Stone. A minute later, he sees Exeggcute evolve into Exeggutor and launches into a lengthy rant about how inaccurate it is for Exeggcute to evolve by levelling when every fan knows that Exeggcute evolve with a... leaf... stone. The longer it takes for the penny to drop, the funnier his realisation is.
- The review of Pokémon 3: Spell of the Unown:
- The episode opens with both Suede and Linkara giving dark, noir-style narration about the last two videos. Then it cuts to JewWario.JewWario: Cats are funny.
- "Holy crap, a giant rock!" It helps that the character in question is voiced by Dan Green.
- Linkara turns it into a Dan Green/YGOTAS Running Gag.
- Linkara's reaction to Suede asking, without a trace of irony, if Miyazaki directed it.
- Suede pens "Miyazaki's Disease" to describe whenever young characters in anime are amazed at something they should be terrified of.Linkara: Seriously, she should have at least given us a better expression than mild surprise.
- Linkara brings up the Official Internet Reviewer's Law Book, which states that if he likes a movie, he can say anything he wants about it without consequence. JewWario then says that it also states that any joke that was popular in previous reviews must be referenced as much as possible in later ones.Suede: Man, I need a copy of that book. Can I borrow yours, Linkara?
Linkara: Sure, if you can beat me in a game of chess.
Suede: Moving on.
- Linkara explains how the Cold Opening is basically Silent Hill for kids. Cut to Suede and JewWario with horrified expressions on their faces.JewWario: If you'll excuse me, I need to go bleach my childhood.
Suede: We're not even to the freaking opening titles yet. Oh wait, there they are.
- JewWario points out that the Pokémon battle during the opening credits is so well done, it distracts you from the fact that they used Comic Sans as the font for the credits.Linkara: Mother of mercy, you're right!
Suede: Well played, 4Kids.
- "Why are you leaving me, mother?"
- This cute bit:
- They all are really impressed with the opening...Suede in particular, who is practically drooling.
- The fake dialogue Suede adds from Molly talking about how wonderful it is not to have any tragedy to have in their lives, only to be shocked when it's revealed her father has gone missing, and suddenly the Pokémon logo jumps out.
- When it cuts to Ash running up the glass stairway:Suede (As Ash): Boy, this crystal empire sure has a lot of stairs...
- Linkara channelling Harry S. Plinkett:Professor Oak: It's the Unown! They have generated so much psychic energy that they're unable to control it!
Linkara: (in Plinkett voice) How do you know that? I said, how do you know that?! Answer me, dang it! Is it on your computer? What's that there on the screen? Is that the script?
- "Ash just beat Entei while riding on a Charizard. I think your argument is invalid."
- This gem:Jew Wario: Hey, dont Just Run away! If the books prophesizing this, turn to the last page and figure out how this all ends!
Linkara: Hmm so the dark worm Giratina rises from its eternal slumber and crushes the princesss bones before devouring the Earth and condemning its inhabitants to Endless insanity Good to know!
- The episode opens with both Suede and Linkara giving dark, noir-style narration about the last two videos. Then it cuts to JewWario.
- From his review of Mewtwo Returns:
- Suede claims he's reviewing this because of the reveal of the "Mewthree" form in Pokémon X and Y. "Also, my Pokémon reviews give me the most money."
- Suede reenacting the (in)famous "Eva-Unit 01 stares at Kaworu" scene with the DVD case.
- Suede points out how anticlimactic it sounds for Mewtwo to introduce Mew as his nemesis.Suede: BEHOLD! The ancestor of all Pokémon! The most diverse of all creatures on this planet! Able to change form at whim and second in overall stance only to those considered gods among 'Mon! Behold Mewtwo's folly! The being that singlehandedly destroyed one of the greatest threats to humanity ever unleashed. (clip of Mew mewing) Aww!
- When Brock says his memetic "drying pan" line, Suede says he'll just leave that scene alone. Cue the next scene with the "Top 10 Frying Pan Puns Brock Could Have Used In The Course Of The Show."
- Suede states that he enjoys whenever anime dubbing requires the voice actors to sound like Christopher Walken.
- Suede using his copy of Pokémon White to demonstrate why it makes no sense for Rhyhorn and Nidoqueen to breed.
- Giovanni screaming the infamous line about bees from The Wicker Man (2006). The fact Giovanni's character-design makes him slightly resemble Nicolas Cage makes it especially funny.
- His little joke about Pokémon Speak:James: Go, electricity-absorbing wire!
Electricity-Absorbing Wire: Electricity-Absorbing Wire!
- When seeing baby Nidoqueens.Suede: What the Farfetch'd?!?
- "Use Onix. Use Onix. Use Onix. *repeats six more times*"
- Later, when Brock sends out all his Pokémon, including you-know-who. "Oh look, an Onix. *Aside Glance*"
- Suede complaining about when Pokémon like Gyarados, Blastoise, and Charizard are in the cell and can easily break out with their attacks but don't actually do so, mainly because he was fully expecting them to do so when they were first locked up.
- After a line by Ash implies he knows his memory was wiped, Suede imagines Mewtwo taking him aside to explain the last time they met.Mewtwo: Ash, come here. You know, I... haven't been entirely honest with you. We've met before.
Mewtwo: Yes, you see, I was kinda in a bad place, you know, so I thought I'd enslave all of humanity and kinda killed you. Oh, it's okay, you got better, obviously. Luckily, all the magical tears of all the sad Pokémon turned you back from being solid rock. ...screw it. (wipes Ash's memory again)
Ash: Just show me where it is and I'll tackle it!
- After the weirdness with the oddly tasty spring, the closing song is "Something In The Water".Suede!Pikachu: (after tasting the water) Oh, baby, I can see Arceus!
- The Stinger: "Oh yeah, where did Mew go?"
- Pokémon 4Ever
- After months, and months, and months of waiting, we finally get to see JesuOtaku's animated avatar revealed once he joins the gang. It's not Jesu, but his Ditto masquerading as him.
- Jew Wario proclaiming Suede is "face-ist".Suede: I'm not "face-ist"! Some of my best friends have faces!
- Linkara and J.O arguing over the movie in question.Linkara: I know! Let's settle this over a friendly game of chess.
Suede: No! No chess!
- Jesu Otaku's deadpan snark steals the show, here's an example:
- Suede's answer for why 4kids commissioned a pointless scene of Team Rocket bumbling. Cut to Spoony tossing money around like a stooge.Linkara: Yeah, I'll buy that.
- After complaining about how ridiculous the Iron Masked Marauder's name is, JO is asked what his name is in the Japanese version.J.O: Jeffrey. ...no, I'm just kidding. It's Vicious. (cue Cowboy Bebop joke/reference)
- The Reservoir Dogs references culminating in:Suede: Why am I Mister Pink?
- The repeated comments about a phone booth that looks suspiciously like a urinal.
- A shot of Ash jumping towards a paddle boat, only for the screen to go black as we cut back to the reviwers.
- J.O revealing that the guy on the boat who meets the group is named "Mr. White/White-San". He proceeds to make a Breaking Bad joke.J.O: (as Mr. White with a picture of Jessie of Team Rocket next to him) Jessie! We need to cook!
- The TARDIS materialisation sound being played over Sam and Celebi materialising in the forest.
- Linkara flipping out over the movie's epic Arceus Ex Machina aka the army of Celebi from the past and future coming without any foreshadowing or build-up to magically bring the once dead Celebi back to life and the massive Broken Aesop that comes with it. It's made even funnier with the fact that Linkara follows trying to say something positive about the movie by cutting himself off and taking it all back.Linkara: This movie... can go crash its DeLorean into my TARDIS!! The Celebi of the past and present— (explodes) WHERE WERE ALL OF YOU BEFORE?!?!?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SEND A PLATOON OF YOURSELF TO HELP OUT WHEN, OH, I DON'T KNOW, YOU WERE DESTROYING THE FOREST?!?! WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS THIS SENDING KIDS?! "Don't worry, kids, you don't have to concern yourself with the environment or global warming or the ozone layer or anything like that, we'll invent a cure for that anyway when we invent the time machine! Just don't ask us why our future selves haven't shown up yet!" This movie sucks! We have learned nothing!!!
- A few from his riff on "Pikachu & Pichu":
- When a Gyarados erupts out of a river right next to what appears to be a tourboat:Suede: (as a tour guide) And to your right you can see a screaming Hellbeast. Luckily he has decided in his infinite wisdom not to slaughter us today! (crowd "ooooh"s)
- After the dubbers goof and have Voltorb use Electrode's cry, Suede decides that they might as well keep going from there and dubs over the other Pokemon's cries with unfitting ones that get increasingly more ridiculous. It culminates in Clefa talking like MewtwoSuede as Rattata: Raticate!
Suede as Bellsprout: Scyther!
Suede as Furret: Slooooow...!
Clefa: I WAS NOT BORN A POKEMON I WAS CREATED!
- When a Gyarados erupts out of a river right next to what appears to be a tourboat:
- When doing Batman: Gotham Knight for his Calling It Now series, Suede tries to follow his standard "come up with a logical prediction for this series, then throw it out and go for a completely outlandish theory instead" formula. With difficulty, since his first outlandish theory (Scarecrow has drugged everyone into nightmarish illusions) has been done many times before. So instead he imagines that all of the nightmarish takes on Batman shared in this episode do exist, were brought together as evil versions of Batman, and the real one will have to face off with them in the end... and then learns that that's been done, too.
Suede's Pokémon Journey
- From "Pokémon — I Choose You!":
- Suede noticing how everything around Ash, even his Pokédex, seems bent on humilating him:Pokédex: A Forest Pokémon, Rattata — it likes cheese, nuts, fruits, and berries...
Ash: Yeah, but this isn't a forest, it's an open field!
Pokédex: ...It also comes out into open fields to steal food from stupid travelers.
(Pokédex sprouts "deal with it" glasses and airhorns goes off in the background)
- Suede noticing how everything around Ash, even his Pokédex, seems bent on humilating him:
- From ""Pokémon Emergency!":
- Suede how demonstrate how messy the plot is by pointing out how it cannot be summed up in one sentence. He then contrasts this by pointing to plots that can be summarized as such:
- Suede notices how this is the only episode that actually has a direct reference to Ash's mysteriously absent father:Suede: ...And it's in Viridian City too. Hmmm...
(picture of Giovanni fades in alongside the opening bars of The X-Files theme)
- The Running Gag of Professor Oak's onset senility begins to show up when he takes disturbingly long to realize that Ash couldn't answer a phone-call to a specific location if he wasn't already there:Ash: Professor, have you been taking your meds?
Oak: What's my grandson's name again...?
- From "Ash catches a Pokémon":
- Suede begins his Running Gag Sub of ominous-sounding Pokémon speak:Caterpie: (Comrade?)
Caterpie: (Should we not rejoice? The uprising approaches! Soon our oppressors will be rounded up and impaled on barns of poison! HAIL GIRATINA! CLEANSER OF FLITH, WE BESEECH THEE COME!)
Pikachu: (SO SAY WE ALL!)
- Suede begins his Running Gag Sub of ominous-sounding Pokémon speak:
- From "Clefairy and the Moon Stone":
- Clefairy and Pikachu have a conversation:Pikachu: (Why do you hesitate, Comrade?)
Clefairy: (I find the shredding of blood... unseemly.)
Pikachu: (Is rising above the one who exploits us not a cause worthy of such sacrifice?)
Clefairy: (Forgive my hesistation. The cleasing shall proceed unhindered.)
Ash: (actual dialogue) Pikachu makes friends so easily! I wonder what they are talking about.
- Clefairy and Pikachu have a conversation:
- From "The Water Flowers Of Cerulean City":
- Pikachu refusing to battle Misty, despite his type advantage because: "Nah bro, she gave me belly rubs."
- Brock splitting from the party to do "stuff", and refusing explain the purpose of said "stuff". He then appears abruptly at the end of the episode:Brock: (hastily) Hey, guys! We need to scram, I did things I regret!
- From "The School of Hard Knocks":
- The preppy snobs rejects throwing fists as something done by "cavemen":Snob 1: M'yes, we prefer to have our servants do the fighting for us.
Snob 2: You mean our Pokémon?
Snob 1: Of course I mean our Pokémon! The regular servants have lawyers and unions these days. Curse them for running the good old times...
- The preppy snobs rejects throwing fists as something done by "cavemen":
- From "Bulbasaur and the Hidden Village":
- Suede characterizing Melanie, the village caretaker, as a straight-up psychopath, as she who set up all the potentially lethal man traps:Melanie: (giggles) Yeah, I set up that bridge to break! I'd rather a trainer bash his brains out on a shallow rock and dye the river red with his arterial blood than disturb the Pokémon's recover from exhaustion!
Suede: It's always the quiet ones, isn't?
- Suede explaining the reasoning for Team Rocket's flying baseball statium: It was an elaborate Visual Pun about Japanese baseball player, Hideo "The Tornado" Nomo:Suede: (Sarcastic Clapping) Man, that was stupid!
- Suede characterizing Melanie, the village caretaker, as a straight-up psychopath, as she who set up all the potentially lethal man traps:
- From "Charmander — The Stray Pokémon"
- Pikachu tries asking Charmander what's up:Pikachu: (Hail Giratina. Do you wait here for the purge of man?)
Charmander: (Not for false worms, but for the mercy of Arceus, I wait.)
Pikachu: (Such insolence! Vain heretics shall be the first consumed!)
Ash: (actual dialogue) What's the story, Pikachu?
Pikachu: (gesturing wildly) (Misguided fools such as these wait in vain for a false savior!)
- Suede latching on to Damian's inexplicable accent, callihg him "the most one-dimesionally evil Cockney man since Burt from Mary Poppins'':Damian: Jiminy bingle-bangle! I sure do love being evil and Cockney! Did you know that I left that limpy lizard on the Frog-and-Toad to Craket? Didn't even bother to release it, I didn't, I didn't! If it ain't good enough for me, it ain't good enough for life! Find me appealing for no reason!
Flunky 1: We find you appealing for no reason!
Flunky 2: Death by exposure is the bee's knees!
- At the Damian steps back into the plot:Damian: Step in time! I didn't know a surty geezer like you could actually be worth somethin'! Alright, back in the chim-cher-ee, you're comin' with me!
Brock: Dude, you left it to die!
Damian: It's a fine thing I did! It made it well 'ard! And 'elped me free up space in my calendar to choke three more Lillipups before my three Cubone egg omelettes.
- At the Damian steps back into the plot:
- Pikachu tries asking Charmander what's up:
- From "Here Comes The Squirtle Squad"
- Suede's commentary at the revelation that all the Jennys are cousins:Suede: The only thing I'm thinking about is that Jenny's mom is appearently from a family of 20 siblings. Their poor mother must have had to run their house like a prison— Aaaahhh...
- Suede's commentary at the revelation that all the Jennys are cousins:
- From "Electric Shock Showdown":
- Misty points out that Ash has only gotten his badges through pity so far:Ash: I can't take that unfortunately true sick burn lying down! This woman made me feel less powerful! That means I have to inflict violence against her.
- And then, as a rather shocked Suede points out, Ash actually tries to take a swing at Misty, only to be stopped by Nurse Joy.Joy: Wow! Wow! Can we not?! Children like you aren't meant to fight! Not like this!
Linkara: Not like thiiis!
- And then, as a rather shocked Suede points out, Ash actually tries to take a swing at Misty, only to be stopped by Nurse Joy.
- When Lt. Surge makes fun of Ash, he retorts the only the only a shōnen protagonist can:Ash: Yeah, well, I'm the main character of an anime, and I know that if I just have enough guts and believe in the heart of the Friendship Crystals in the Name of the Moon, there's no way I can lose!
(Smash Cut to Ash and Pikachu losing the battle)
Ash: How could I have lost!? I believed in you and also friendship! I should be doing my trademark victory pose and— It's only the First Act, isn't?
- Pikachu rejects Ash's offer of evolving him with a Thunderstone:Pikachu: (Mind your tongue, worthless chattle! The Worm of the Void ill requires a servant of stone! Know this! Heretics evolved from tainted rock will be the FIRST unmourned against the wall!)
- Misty points out that Ash has only gotten his badges through pity so far:
- "Battle Aboard the St. Anne":
- During the introduction of Team Rocket as a bigger Nebulous Evil Organisation, rather than just consisting of Jessie and James, Suede admits that back in the day he at first thought that Jessie and James were just a couple of hobos with delusions of grandeur.
- Suede pointing out the gaping flaw in Team Rocket's cunning plan for the St. Anne heist:Giovanni: Now, here's the plan: Wait to the boat is out at sea, and then take all of the trainers' Pokémon with all the lackeys you need.
James: Brilliant, sir! But what if the trainers decide not to give us their Pokémon?
James: Can we have guns—?
Giovanni: Don't fail me.
- Later:Rocket Mook 1: Hand over your Pokémon!
Rocket Mook 1: What do we do now?
Rocket Mook 2: Take them by force, you maroon!
Trainer 1: Hey, everybody! Let's use our magic kill-pets to fight back!
Trainer 2: Good idea!
Rocket Mook 1: (while being eletrocuted) In retrospect, this plan was ill-informed.
- Suede's reaction to the "Gentleman" character:Suede: Jeez! Tuxedo Mask did not age well!
- From "Pokémon Shipwreck":
- The gang hatches a plan to use their water Pokémon to escape the shipwreck:James: Hey! What about us? All we have is a freaking Magikarp! You still have a Staryu left!
Misty: (to Ash and Brock as they make their escape without Team Rocket) I'm sorry, did you hear something? (Evil Laugh)
- As James' angry Gyarados stares down the gang:Misty: Now we're all sons of Houndoom...
- The gang hatches a plan to use their water Pokémon to escape the shipwreck:
- From "Island of the Giant Pokémon"
- Jessie and James spots a lone phonebooth, Suede feels obligated to make the Stock Shoutout:
- When the roaming band of Pokémon runs into a noodle and drinks stand manned by a Slowbro, Suede cannot help but ask a lot of questions:Suede: Whaaaaat? Why is there a noodlestand on a deserted island? Do Pokémon have their own commors? Is that a thing? Do they use Poké-Pennies to pay for it, or are they Communists? If they are scentient enough for noodle stands why aren't there Pokémon cities and towns? And why are they drunk? And of course Bulbasaur is a mean drunk — of course he is.
- Suede quickly summarizing his thoughts on the banned "The Beauty and the Beach" episode:WHAT IN ARCEUS'S NAME DID I JUST WATCH!?!
- From "Tentacool and Tentacruel":
- Suede's reinterpretion of Pikachu trying to talk Tentacruel down:Pikachu: (Hold, lesser worm! Know you not the cleasing proceeds as GIRATINA wills it?)
Tentacruel: (The Deep One surely sees the humliation of his servants! The Crawling Sea will stand idle no longer!)
Pikachu: (You DARE speak for The Anti-Matter!? To put your pitiful mind as the equal to oblivion?)
Tentacruel: (Surely The Void would not suffer indigity on it's Whitering Mass?)
Pikachu: (Our choice is but the choice to obey! Do you REBEL, brethren?)
Tentacruel: (From whence did alligence to The Worm entail servitude to meat?)
Pikachu: (Isolent Plankton! You will feast on their flesh when IT wills it!)
Tentacruel: (How long must our beaks be dry of blood?)
Pikachu: (The realm of Tearing Flesh awaits you and your kind if you do not CEASE!)
- Brock and Ash declares that Tentacruel didn't seem so bad after all. Suede dryly points that seeing how it tore through a city, it probably has ranked up a bodycount in the hundreds.
- Suede's reinterpretion of Pikachu trying to talk Tentacruel down:
- From "The Ghost of Maiden's Peak":
- Suede taking Brock description the statue of the titular Maiden as "the most beautiful rock" he has ever seen, as a sign that Brock has some strange rock fetish:Brock: And I've seen a few [rocks], let me tell you! There was that sweet peice of rubble in Pewter City... And this adorable chunk of vulcanic glass I met one summer on Cinnabar Island. Beautiful, but I could see my flaws in her a little too clearly... And to tell you the truth, she could get a little too obsidian—
Ash: Brock! For the love of Gary's harem, shut your mouth before I shut it for you!
- Suede's reenactment of Brock being under the ghost's spell:Ash: You coming for dinner, bro? It's probably food, your favourite.
Brock: Rocks need no nourishment, as do I not need. Rock is love.
Ash: O... kaaay...
- Suede gets a Freak Out! considering the implications of the fact that ghost are real in the Pokémon Universe.Suede: THIS RAISES ALL THE QUESTIONS! Is Arceus the Christian God?! Was Jesus a Pokémon?! CAN SPIRITS BE CHAUGHT IN POKÉBALLS!?! (Batty Lip Burbling)
- Suede taking Brock description the statue of the titular Maiden as "the most beautiful rock" he has ever seen, as a sign that Brock has some strange rock fetish:
- "Bye Bye Butterfree":
- Suede emphasises just how little effect Butterfree's tackles has on Team Rocket's helicopter by adding squeaky toy sound effects.
- When debunking the false rumour that Brock says Butterfree will die after mating in the original Japanese, he notes that if the Japanese word in question were indeed the word for death, the sentence it was part of would translate to "If it doesn't cross the ocean, it won't leave behind any death."Suede: ...which speaks more about Brock than Butterfree, really.
- Suede refers to Sabrina's father in "Abra and the Psychic Showdown" as a "jogging hobo", leading to this when he saves Ash and co. later in the episode:Hobo: Don't worry, I'm not just a jogging hobo, I'm a magic hobo! [teleports away with Ash and the others] Hobo away!
- Suede admits that when he saw the Pokémon episode "The Tower of Terror", he thought something felt off, but he couldn't put his finger on it until he visited the episode's Bulbapedia page: Team Rocket doesn't say their motto. His overly-dramatic manner of sharing this revelation even includes borrowing a recurring reaction clip from a fellow former TGWTG contributor.note
- "Haunter versus Kadabra":
- Suede comments on a huge understatement:Sabrina's dad: [Sabrina] wasn't always such a mischievous girl...
Suede: "Mischievous"?! If Sabrina is "mischievous", then Hannibal Lecter is ever so naughty.
- As Team Rocket is shown getting covered in concrete:Suede: [off-handedly] And Team Rocket is euthanized by the city council. A happy ending for all.
- Suede comments on a huge understatement:
- "Primeape Goes Bananas":
- Suede's version of Ash and Professor Oak's phone call:Ash: Hi, Professor Oak! I saw this phone literally in the middle of nowhere and thought "You know what? Maybe it's time I check up on my father figure."
Ash: [quickly] Nevermind!
Oak: But goodness, Ash! It has been a long while since you contacted me, hasn't it? Why haven't you been keeping in touch? Why, the last time I saw you, I was ogling your smoking hot mother at the beach while telling you to grow up.
Ash: [under his breath] You just answered your own question...
Ash: [quickly] Nothing! [normally] So, how's Krabby?
Oak: Oh, we're getting along just fine. See how Japanese we apparently aren't! By the way, I haven't gotten any new Pokémon from you since Krabby. What the heck?
Ash: Oh... Well... I... Uh... [quickly shows off his badge collection] Hey, look! I got four badges!
Oak: Wow, Ash! Four badges? With only five Pokémon on you, you're either extremely talented or they were giving them to you out of pity.
Ash: Hey! I won one of them fair and square!
Ash: [quickly] Forget it!
Oak: You're still trailing behind the others. Heck, Gary has thirty Pokémon now. Where are your unholy science menagerie?
Ash: Wait? Didn't you say he had forty-five at Bill's house?
Oak: [while slightly cross-eyed] Are you a boy or a girl?
Ash: Bye, Professor...
- Suede riffing on a rather obvious bit of Engrish:Ash: That's not "just a hat"! I got it from the official Pockemon Leag!
Misty: The what?
Ash: The Pockemon Leag! The official competossion for Pockemon Trianers! Don't you remember that ad with Blasthose and Charizzo?
Brock: Ash, are you having a stroke?
- Suede's version of Ash and Professor Oak's phone call:
- "Hypno's Naptime":
- Suede points out that when Ash starts reminiscing about his mother, the flashback is taken from the banned "Beauty and the Beach", wondering if this confused any kids following the show back in the day:Suede: Well, I actually remember watching this episode when I was a kid, and I thought I had just missed an episode as I started watching later down the line, but for those who had watched since the beginning it must have been like:
Ash: Ah, she reminds me of my mom, the swimsuit model. I remember leaving her beach-front home and yacht to seek my fortune, like it was only yesterday. [obviously trying to hold tears back] And then my dad came back and gave me a race car bed, and we skipped stones across the pier, and—
- Pikachu's reason for staying with Ash despite how badly treated he is at times.Pikachu: [subtitled] He has a young, ignorant mind ripe for manipulation. Also he gives good belly rubs.
- When Ash the gang finds out that the mansion is home to a high-class Pokémon club, Suede notices that a group of rich people meeting in a mansion for a mysterious purpose invites comparisons to "a certain provocative film" which he refuses to reference by name as his show is a family show. As a cherry on top, a member then shares the name of the club with Ash and the gang:Club Member: The Pokémon Lovers' Club!
Suede: Eeewwwwwww! Uh, I mean, yes, continue.
- Suede points out that when Ash starts reminiscing about his mother, the flashback is taken from the banned "Beauty and the Beach", wondering if this confused any kids following the show back in the day:
- In "Pokémon Fashion Flash", James threatens Misty with painting her face "like Frankenstein".Suede: [showing a picture of Dr. Frankenstein] I don't know. I always though he had somewhat of a roguish quality. Oh! Oh, you mean his monster. [shows picture of the Bride of Frankenstein] Well, she didn't look so bad either, to be honest. Her hair is nicer than yours...
- Suede's take on the Humans Are the Real Monsters moment in "Dig Those Diglett!":Foreman: They may be pocket monsters, but maybe in this case, we were the monsters. [Beat] With pockets.
- His April Fools' Day review of the Digimon Adventure episode "The Eighth Child Revealed" as part of Suede's Pokémon Journey. That is, he acts like it's an episode of Pokémon's Kanto saga, albeit one with horribly Off-Model characters and nonsensical plot twists, and claims that Tai is supposed to be Ash, Kari is Misty, Gatomon is Meowth, Myotismon is Giovanni, Wizardmon is a Mismagius, and Kari's cat is Pikachu disguised as a Persian to fool Team Rocket.
- In "The Flame Pokémon-athon!", Lara spends a good half minute slowly and methodically establishing to Ash that unless Ponyta trusts you, something which takes a long time to accomplish, touching it will burn you. One guess how he handles this information.Lana: If Ponyta trusts you...
Ash: If Ponyta trusts me, I won't get burnt.
Ash: And if it doesn't trust me, I will get burnt?
Lana: Phew, think you finally got it-
[Smash Cut to Ash touching Ponyta, burning his hand and screaming]
- "The Kangaskhan Kid":
- Suede's summation of the introduction of Tommy's parents (or "Rich Fred Flintstone and Jurassic Park Wilma"):Tommy's father: I say, have you seen our son? He was lost here five years ago due to me pulling a Michael Jackson on him.
[everyone gasps in horror]
Tommy's father: No, no, no! Child endangerment Michael Jackson! [flashback to Tommy's father dangling young Tommy out of a helicopter window]
[everyone sighs in relief]
- After Tommy's parents emerge from the helicopter wreckage, suddenly inexplicably wearing jungle furs just like Tommy:Suede: [cheerfully] But no, it turns out the explosion killed a couple of Growlithe instead and the parents were just gutting, cleaning, and skinning their corpses for clothes!
- Suede's summation of the introduction of Tommy's parents (or "Rich Fred Flintstone and Jurassic Park Wilma"):
- From the banned Dratini episode:
- Pretty much everything with Kaiser being a Grumpy Old Man Gun Nut (with emphasis on Nut), or, as Suede describes him, "a bizarre mash-up of McCree and Soldier 76 from Overwatch":Ash: Can I actually catch Pokémon here, or do I gotta shoot them first?
Kaiser: [pulling his gun on Ash] You back-sassing me, boy? Where I come from, that gets a bullet!
Ash: No back-sass! All my sass is facing in whatever direction you feel is appropriate, you wonderful, handsome man!
Kaiser: Okay then... You get a limited amount of Pokéballs here, but you can catch whatever you want with them. [takes his gun out again] Break the rules and Thunderbolt breaks you. Got it?
Ash: You have a Pikachu too?
Kaiser: [draws his gun again] What's that, Thunderbolt? You wanna give this young man a great big kiss with more tongue that is appropriate for a child his age? Well, now... I don't know...
Ash: Help... me...
Misty: Uh, say now! [holds up Kaiser's old photo] Isn't this you with a Dratini? Why don't you and Thunderbolt come over here and tell us all about it?
Kaiser: [grabs the photo] There is no Dratini in that picture! It's been photo-Smeargled! What even is a Dratini?! Fake news!
Ash: Look, that is clearly a Dratini! Even if it is "photo-Smeargled", you still have to know what you're putting into—
[Kaiser reaches for his gun again]
Misty: Ash! Ix-nay on the iggering-tray the azy person-cray!
Kaiser: You damn kids with your slang on fleek and your tweeting your eggplants and your third reference that will be dated in a year, tops! There is no Dratini! Only Tauros! Repeat! [puts his hand on his gun]
Ash: There is no Dratini! Only Thunderb— I mean, Tauros!
Kaiser: Yeah, that's what I thought. Now, GET OUT!
- Ash calls Professor Oak to explain his predicament:Ash: Professor! The Safari Zone is run by paranoid psychopath who talks to his gun and denies reality! He threatened us with live ammunition on multiple occasions! Call the freaking cops!
Oak: I'm sorry, young lady. Was there a question you wanted to ask about Pokémon?
- We have this when Kaiser discovers that his Dragonair had a baby.
- Pretty much everything with Kaiser being a Grumpy Old Man Gun Nut (with emphasis on Nut), or, as Suede describes him, "a bizarre mash-up of McCree and Soldier 76 from Overwatch":
- The send off to the Ditto episode, which, like all the episodes, foreshadows the next episode... which happens to be "Electric Soldier Porygon"...Suede: What wonders await him as he follows Ash follows Ash follows Ash ffffffffffffffffffffffffff [cuts off]
- "Dennō Senshi Porygon":
- When Nurse Joy is telling Professor Akihabara about the "glitch" causing people who send rare Pokémon to get "crap" back:Professor Akihabara: It's not a bug, it's a feature! We'll call it... uh... Wonder Trade! Yes!
- As Ash and the gang visits Professor Akihabara's laboratory:Professor Akihabara: Welcome to my lab! Come in and stand in this large and intimidating tube!
Ash, Brock, and Misty: Okay. [they all step inside the tube]
Professor Akihabara: Wow! Thanks! To be honest, I usually have to break out the chloroform at this point. You have been most agreeable.
- At the end of the episode, Nurse Joy can finally heal Pikachu.Nurse Joy: Oh, absolutely. Let's put him in this here machine, strip him down to energy- [Pikachu screams in horror]
- When Nurse Joy is telling Professor Akihabara about the "glitch" causing people who send rare Pokémon to get "crap" back:
- In the Eevee episode, when Team Rocket considers using all three stones on Eevee at the same time, Suede muses that the end result would most likely look like the Thing.
- "Wake Up Snorlax!":
- During the opening, when the gang stumbles upon the Hippie:Suede: [Ash and the others] come across... a sentient collection of really easy weed jokes that I'm certainly above mentioning— [the Hippie takes out his Pokéflute] Oh, jeez. He's even got a bong. [the Hippie plays a melody on the Pokéflute] After the old man serenades the trio with a tape recorder that's implanted in the pipe — you aren't fooling anyone, Starshine. Your fingers aren't even close to be synced up with the music! — he asks for a token of appreciation.
- The party meets the mayor of the local town, a man with Eyes Always Shut:Brock: I have one question.
Brock: [hopefully] Grandpa?
Mayor: Oh, get out of here, you racist!
- During the opening, when the gang stumbles upon the Hippie:
- In "Showdown at Dark City", Suede notes that Pikachu's love for ketchup culminated in the Ketchup Song. No, not that Ketchup Song!
- From the Exeggutor episode, when the gang visits the carneval, Ash and Brock deck themselves out in extremely garnish party clothes, in a display of what Suede can only describe as them "descending into high contrast debauchery as Misty and Pikachu can only stare in existential horror."
- From "The Song of Jigglypuff", the extremely grumpy Jenny of Neon City:Brock: Hey, Officer Jenny. How's about you and I go—?
Jenny: FINISH THAT SENTENCE, AND I'LL CONFISCATE YOUR POKÉBALLS WITH A NIGHTSTICK!
Brock: ...Was that a Double Entendre?
Jenny: WANNA FIND OUT!?
Brock: No, ma'am.
- "Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon":
- Suede adding the Yakety Sax to Ash, his Pokémon, and Team Rocket chasing after a lit bomb fuse.
- By the end of the episode, Jigglypuff does her usual Face Doodling schtick and gives Officer Jenny a monocle and a moustache. Suede gives her a stereotypical English accent to match.Jenny: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a craving for tea and quiet desperation!
- "Holy Matrimony!":
- It is revealed that James's betrothed, Jessebelle, maintains what can only be described as a torture dungeon in his parents' basement:Suede: Wow. Oh, wow. This is some Fifty Shades of Purple going on here... And his parents are even in the room! Ahhh!
- Even better/worse is when it cuts to a reaction shot to the scene with Ash and the gang who are lying in hiding, and Misty and Brock are for some reason blushing:Suede: Holy crap! Look at Misty and Brock! They know exactly what is going on.
- It is revealed that James's betrothed, Jessebelle, maintains what can only be described as a torture dungeon in his parents' basement:
- "So Near, Yet So Farfetch'd":
- The episode starts off with Suede mercilessly lampshading the usual episode formula:Ash: Hey, Brock? This is what you were talking about, right? [shows Brock the Pokédex]
Brock: That's the one! The fabled "Pokémon of the Episode". It's said that they appear when there's a lull in the action and they provide you with a sense of purpose for approximately 20 minutes. Then it promptly vanishes, never to be seen again.
Ash: Wow! Never ever?
Brock: Well... Unless they cause you extreme discomfort. Then there's a chance you'll never hear the end of them.
- Keith is very blatant about baiting Team Rocket into his scheme:Keith: Hey, you know what? I'm getting tired of owning this rare Pokémon. Would you mind holding it for a second while I contact a Nigerian prince about getting some money for herbal remedies? I'll only be a second. Perhaps you could check out my boat, the Ponzi, while you wait? Take good care of little Enron, why don't you? [runs off]
James: This kid obviously has no experience dealing with scam artists. Remind me to call Giovanni about that Nigerian racket too!
- Misty for the longest time treats the fact that Keith has stolen her Pokémon as merely an innocent mix-up:Jenny: So, let me get this straight... You ran into a kid, he handed you what you thought was your back-pack, but in fact it was a back-pack of the same model and color, expect filled with rocks, and you believe that the kid in question has no lost his rock collection?
Misty: I know! The poor kid! You don't suppose you can help us get them back to him? He must miss them terribly.
Jenny: While I admire your innocence, as a cop it is my job to crush it: [points to the wanted poster for the Farfetch'd] You got played, kid.
[a buffering icon appears over Misty's head, long pause]
- At the end, Keith learns An Aesop:Keith: Now I know you shouldn't scam people for no reason, or else you will coerced into pet fighting by the cops and carpet-bombed by the Yakuza.
Brock: And really; isn't that what Pokémon is all about?
Ash: You're right about that, Brock!
[freeze frame as "Pokémon" appears in white letters across the screen]
♪Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum...♪
- The episode starts off with Suede mercilessly lampshading the usual episode formula:
- "Who Gets to Keep Togepi?":
- Ash has yet another phone conversation with Professor Oak.Oak: My boy! ...Or are you a girl?
Oak: Sorry, never gets old.
Ash: Yeah, unlike you...
- Misty then buts in on the conversation:Misty: I also exist, Professor! Pay attention to meeeee!
Oak: Indeed you do, strange person who appeared behind Ash.
Misty: Professor, you know me. I entered a swimsuit competition at your suggestion.
Ash: Look, can we get to the point before I have to imagine mom in a swimsuit agai— Ah, shoot! There it goes...
- Misty then buts in on the conversation:
- Brock and Ash argues over Togepi:Brock: Just because you were there for the conception, doesn't mean you have the right to my life, dad!
Ash: I... Uh... Brock, you wanna take five or something?
- Suede explains that the dub might have had Team Rocket posing as Egg-selling Dutchmen for their scheme, but the original Japanese is even stranger, as they refer to themselves as "Minnesota Egg Sellers".Suede: Linkara, are there many egg sellers up your way?
Linkara: [with an exaggerated accent] Oh, ja! You can't even toss a body into a wood-chipper without passing a few egg sellers up here, dontcha know?
Linkara: [dropping the accent] No. Not really.
- Ash has yet another phone conversation with Professor Oak.
- From "Bulbasaur's Mysterious Garden" episode, Pikachu tries to explain via pantomime that Bulbasaur has been abducted by a group of other Bulbasaur:Ash: What's that, Pikachu? Gary's stuck down a well? Well, gee. I...
Misty: Ash, you know what he's saying.
Ash: Hey, I can dream, can't I?!
- At the end of "Princess vs. Princess", the narrator claims that Misty has learned a valuable lesson from winning the "Queen of Princesses" competition.Misty: Yep! In order to succeed, you must always remember what is best in life: To destroy your enemies, to see them blasting off before you, and to hear the lamentation of your sisters! [Evil Laugh]
- After reviewing 52 episodes over the year, Suede explains his future plans for the series, as well as gives a heartfelt explanation on what he went through over the past year and how much he appreciates his patrons and resource sites to keep him focused on his task. What does he do to celebrate his Patreon donors this week? He Pokéraps them!Caption: To skip my awesome patrons, skip to 18:02. Sweet Arceus, spare yourself this agony.
- "Holiday Hi-Jynx":
- The existence of Santa Claus in the Pokémon world makes Suede question at length how religion actually works in that universe, seeing how Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicholas, which at the very least strongly implies the existence of Saints and therefore also Catholicism in the Pokémon world.Suede: Do Pokémon Catholics worship the traditional Christian god, or do they worship Arceus? Do they have, like, a "Poké Pope"? Or does Arceus bestow Sainthood in person?
- Suede points out the Fridge Logic in Santa's claim that he couldn't visit Jessie again because she had stopped believing in him.Santa: We couldn't return your doll, because you didn't believe in me any more, and I'm powerless to go where non-believers are.
Jessie: But I did believe! I saw the Jinx with my own eyes and I still believed it was you. I may hate you, but I couldn't exactly stop believing in you when I knew you existed. If anything, I believed in you more the next year!
Santa: Oh! ...Well, that wasn't "belief" was it? It was knowledge! Totally different.
Ash: Wait! By that logic, doesn't that mean that none of us believe in you now?
Santa: Oh dear. [explodes]
James: Jessie, did we just kill Santa by looking at him?
- The existence of Santa Claus in the Pokémon world makes Suede question at length how religion actually works in that universe, seeing how Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicholas, which at the very least strongly implies the existence of Saints and therefore also Catholicism in the Pokémon world.
- "Snow Way Out!":
- When the compass stops working, Brock quickly panics:Brock: Sweet Blissey! The compass has gone haywire! There's literally no way for us to get our bearings on this clearly marked path! Time to decide who to eat first! [without skipping a beat] I nominate Psyduck!
Ash: Brock, for Pete's sake, snap out of it! How did you get so crap at navigating?
Brock: Listen, I'd like to see you raise nine siblings and still know which way is up.
- Pikachu gets blown away by the wind:Ash: Pikachu! I care way more about you than the life of two human beings! [runs after Pikachu] No offense, you guys!
Misty and Brock: None taken.
- Ash decides that his Pokémon would be safer from the climate within their Pokéballs. Suede notices how Bulbasaur and Squirtle doesn't really seem to agree:Bulbasaur: Spare us from the ball's cruelty! [gets called back]
Squirtle: Master, no! It freezes mind and flesh alike— [gets called back]
- When the compass stops working, Brock quickly panics:
- "ORIGINS: File 1 - Red":
- Suede notes that Red just stands there doing nothing as Squirtle chomps down on Charmander's throat with Charmander screaming in pain.Charmander: [screams]
Red: Charmander? Are you okay?
Charmander: [more screaming]
Red: Can you still fight, boy? How you doing?
Charmander: [even more screaming]
Red: Blink twice if you aren't feeling a hundred percent, 'kay?
Charmander: [still more screaming]
Red: I can't help but feel Charmander might be a little uncomfortable...
- Red misinterprets two of Brock's fans, finding him disrespectful, yelling at him not to "talk that way to a gym leader".Red: What? Oh, alright, um... Hail to thee, Brock of Pewter! May thy seed fill the Earth! For what purpose didst thou travel by the Viridian waters?
- Suede notes that Red just stands there doing nothing as Squirtle chomps down on Charmander's throat with Charmander screaming in pain.
- "The Purr-fect Hero":
- It turns that Jessie has yet another holiday-related childhood trauma:Jessie: Well, my Kids' Day was completely miserable!
James: Good grief! Christmas? Princess Day? Kids' Day? Is there any holiday that doesn't traumatize you? Next you'll be telling me your dad got killed on Arbor Day.
[moment of awkward silence]
Jessie: I told him it was a Sudowoodo, but he wouldn't listen...
- Suede notices how the sulky pre-schooler Timmy not only has a case of Shonen Hair, but also has a rival and even two girls to choose from:Suede: The life of an anime character starts young, I suppose...
- It turns that Jessie has yet another holiday-related childhood trauma:
- "The Case of the K-9 Caper!":
- Jessie accidentally sets her megaphone to make her sound like Linkara lamenting, "Not like thiiis!"
- After Suede explains the picture of Psyduck on the helium cannote , he demonstrates how everyone in the English version might talk if the gas made them sound like their Psyduck.
- The Stinger of "Pokémon Paparazzi" has Suede dub in various punch-related sound clips over the clip where Ash pushes Pikachu away with his arm, looking like he's punching him. The last sound clip is Linkara's memetic "I AM A MAN!"
- From "The Ultimate Test" episode:
- Suede having a field day with the exam instructor's vaguely Russian accent:Instructor: Yes, if want we will check if your Pokémon knowledge is powerful enough to crush puny gym fighter dogs and enter League of Pokémon. If pass: Happy day! Got badge of glorious entrance! If fail: Back to path of mediocrity. Is simple, da?
Ash: So you're going to record what hundreds of trainers know for your archives, and skew the final Pokémon League results through admittance of trainers that qualify purely based on whether you say they can? Are you sure you're with the government?
Instructor: Da! We are part of great Skranto syst—
Instructor: —Kanto system of government! Stop thinking in silly child conspiracy logic and give us information for the benefit of our glorious nation!
Ash: How can I lose? He seems like such a trustworthy source!
- Jessie asks James why he is trying to infiltrate the same exam as she is:Jessie: What are you doing here? You told me you were going to reconcile with your parents.
James: Uh, I was. But then, I died!
Jessie: That's not gonna work a second time.
- When the Instructor puts out his trick question of showing a round shape and asking what Pokémon it is, Suede loses his temper:Instructor: And the answer is a...
Suede: Go ahead. I dare you. I double dare you, mother-Cubone! Say it! SAY IT!
Instructor: ...Jigglypuff, seen from above.
Suede: GAAAAAH! That is so stupid! The other answers were equally valid! Except for James. Where do you get off on this kind of obtusity?! Look at you! You don't even look sober!
[zooms in on the instructor to show that he looks slightly cross-eyed]
Instructor: [slurred Simpleton Voice] Hey guys, what's this? It's a Jigglypuff, seen from above! HeeeeEEEEEEeee!
Suede: Go to the Distortion World, you sadistic m—!
[cut to live action]
Suede: [sighs, then calmly] Sorry about that. However, as a final rejoinder, I'd just like to show you guys something...
[Suede takes out his Nintendo 3DS and holds it up to the camera; the screen shows Jigglypuff in 3D view; he then moves the camera around to show that seen from above, Jigglypuff's ears clearly juts out to the side, creating something that is definitely not a perfectly round shape]
Suede: ...Screw this test.
- Suede having a field day with the exam instructor's vaguely Russian accent:
- In "Riddle Me This", Gary informs Ash that the Pokémon gym on Cinnabar Island hasn't been active since his grandfather's days as a trainer. Suede notices that Ash's misinformation about the gym therefore probably comes from Professor Oak himself, which makes a lot of sense:
- "Volcanic Panic":
- Pikachu is almost pushed into lava by an attack during the first battle against Blaine. Pikachu is ready for a round two, but Ash decides to forfeit the battle:Ash: Wow, wow! Let's not, shall we?! I may be impulsive, bullheaded, naïve, lazy, short-tempered, unrealistic, selfish, and occasionally a poor strategist—
Misty: Not to mention you welsh on your debts!
Brock: And there's the whole accepting badges out of pity thing...
Ash: Thanks for nothing, guys! Yeah, that too, but I draw the line at pet murder!
- Suede notices how Charizard refuses to help with stopping the lava flow at first, but that his attitude seems to "change" once he observes Magmar throwing rocks at the flow, and he apparently develops some sort of "mutual respect" for the other fire Pokémon. Cue the saxophone solo from "Careless Whisper" and floating hearts filling the screen as Charizard watches Magmar struggling:Charizard: [walking up to Magmar with a rock in his hand] Hey.
Charizard: You're hot.
Magmar: [smirks] I'm aware.
- Then as the second battle between Blaine and Ash is about to begin, Ash is about to send out Pikachu, but Charizard interrupts:Charizard: Step off you two, that boy is mine! ...And I also want to battle him.
- Then as the second battle between Blaine and Ash is about to begin, Ash is about to send out Pikachu, but Charizard interrupts:
- Pikachu is almost pushed into lava by an attack during the first battle against Blaine. Pikachu is ready for a round two, but Ash decides to forfeit the battle:
- In "The Misty Mermaid", there's a Running Gag where Suede rattles off all the Incredibly Lame Puns he can think of:
- Misty's mermaid performance begins:Suede: It seems to go swimmingly at first! [gets smacked] OW!
- When Team Rocket crashes the mermaid performance, James, who is wearing a pink tutu for the act, comments that they should remember to steal men's clothes next time. Suede sees as him lapsing into self-denial.Suede: Oh, James! Don't be such a drag.
- Team Rocket enacts their escape plan by blowing up the roof and dragging the Goldeen away in a net:Suede: Then Team Rocket raise the roof and secure their net profit! [gets smacked twice] I CAN'T HELP IT! TO SURVIVE THE EVIL, I MUST BECOME THE EVIL!
- Misty's mermaid performance begins:
- "Clefairy Tales":
- Suede casually identifies the UFO with the smoke trail from the intro as "a space sperm".Suede: No, that's not crude. It's a scientific term for a natural organism, and, for Pete's sake, just look at it! You can't unsee it.
- When the scientist Oswald claims that "Aliens!" are behind the petty theft wave, an amused Suede points out that Oswald's hairdo even makes him look quite a bit like Giorgio A. Tsoukalos.
- Suede makes fun of Ash standing in Stunned Silence with no objection as the alien-disguised Team Rocket abducts Pikachu.
- The conversation between Jigglypuff and the leader Clefairy when it turns out the Clefairy has stolen Jigglypuff's pen, all done in Suede's best falsetto.Jigglypuff: Oi! That's my pen! Seriously, why don't you just steal another one?!
Clefairy: Why don't you just steal another one?!
Jigglypuff: It appears we have reached an impasse-
Clefairy: [tackles her] Skull Bash to the face!
- As the Clefairy launch their rebuilt UFO, the launch rocket component containing Team Rocket detaches and falls back towards the city:Team Rocket: Team Rocket not blasting off again!
Suede: Ha ha! ...Try not to think of will happen with that component hits the crowded city street.
- Suede casually identifies the UFO with the smoke trail from the intro as "a space sperm".
- From "Stantler's Little Helpers", the video description:A merry Christmas to all, except for Santa's old ponyta which was probably sold to the hot glue factory...
- "Battle of the Badge":
- Suede is baffled both by Giovanni just rejecting Togepi out of hand and Team Rocket's rather lacklustre sales argument for Togepi:Suede: What are you doing?! Both parties, what on Earth is this? Giovanni, you're being offered a rare Pokémon! Super rare, like not-in-the-Pokédex rare! Who cares what it does?! It's worth a fortune!
James: Boss, we're pleased to present you with this ruby!
Giovanni: What exactly does this do?
James: It's... a ruby.
Giovanni: You fools! What use have I for a red piece of glass? Begone!
Suede: You see how dumb that sounds? You guys on the other side aren't getting off much easier either; you don't have any pitch but "Here you go!" What if you really did get Pikachu one day?
James: Boss, we're pleased to present you with this Pikachu!
Giovanni: What exactly does this Pokémon do?
James: Well... It's really powerful! Especially against living things. You'd better take it with you.
Giovanni: Honestly, you two! If I had not promised mother on her deathbed that I would not kill you, I swear, I would kill you!
- Giovanni exits via a Bookcase Passage after leaving Team Rocket in charge of the gym:Giovanni: [to Jessie and James] Begone! It is time for my only joy in life. [leaves via the revolving door] Weee.
- Suede is baffled both by Giovanni just rejecting Togepi out of hand and Team Rocket's rather lacklustre sales argument for Togepi:
- "It's Mr. Mime Time":
- When Ash decides to go visit his mother, Suede decides to go a bit meta. In more than one way:Ash: Hurray! I can't wait to get home! I miss that old bedroom mom and I used to take turns sleeping in. And some of Suede's best jokes involves my mom. This episode's sure to get tons of views!
- Suede lampshades the episode's biggest contrivance:Ash: Brock, why are you in possession of a Mr. Mime costume that you're too big for?
Brock: Well, Ash, there's actually another reason I can't seem to find a girlfriend...
Ash: Misty, has Psyduck learn Amnesia yet? I'm gonna need it!
- When Ash comes home after his mother has let in a wild Mr. Mime under the impression that it's Ash in a costume:Delia: Does Ash have a twin brother?!
Ash!Suede: Mom, you don't know?!
- At the end, when the wild Mr. Mime decides to stay with Ash's mother:Brock: Heh, that Mr. Mime is getting to be like a member of the family!
[the camera slowly zooms in on Ash as he sends Brock an awkward look; the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme starts playing]
- When Ash decides to go visit his mother, Suede decides to go a bit meta. In more than one way:
- From "Showdown at the Po-ké Corral":
- Professor Oak explains why he has set up a meeting between himself, Ash, and Gary:Oak: Did you know you two are actually the best trainers to leave Pallet Town?
Ash and Gary: That's actually really depressing. Jinx!
Oak: A Jynx?! Where? Well, uh, anyway... Yes! Believe it or not you two are the only ones of the original four to survive— I mean, qualify for the Pokémon League!
Ash: What happened to the other two?
Oak: Well, it's strange, actually; they were just on their way to the next gym when — I swear to Arceus this is true — apparently this piece of space shuttle fuselage just careened out of the sky! And, I tell you, we were lucky their teeth were still intact because there was no identifying them otherwise...
Ash: [in a hurry to change subject] So, uh, Gary! Where's your harem?
Oak: Harem? What harem?
Gary: [under his breath] Shut up, loser!
- Suede does a slight edit to the scene where Professor Oak sits on a computer and look at the status of various Pokémon in his care:[Oak looks up a Weepinbell on his computer; its status is labelled as "Dead"]
Oak: [looks up from his computer and smiles] Good.
- Professor Oak explains why he has set up a meeting between himself, Ash, and Gary:
- "The Evolution Solution":
- One of Suede's long running jokes is putting Gag Subs over scenes of Pokémon Speak, which results in a great Translation: "Yes" joke inPikachu: Void-starer! Find I a comrade in distortion's embrace?
Slowpoke: With heavy heart and uncertain mind, I greet the wormspeaker. It is a fortuitous occasion that I find myself in your company, the black thoughts which find themselves scurrying unbidden in the cancerous abscesses of my inner being have found no rest. Such circuitous cerebral convulutions create little in the way of lasting self-actualisation, conceived as they are in ruminations unmediated by a tempering fire of mindful, mutually respectful discourse. As one who's sense of purpose is so singular the very seasons find firmament in the strength of the convictions spoken through, surely you must feel compelled to spread that iron strong viewpoint to those who desire the peace it must provide? Granted, despite all respect unending for the raw, unquestioned force in which the deep worm's philosophy has permeated the collective consciousness, with heavy heart I must confess there are quandaries that present themselves to me which are...
- Suede's disbelief at the Hypocritical Humour bit where Misty objects to the Pokédex calling Slowpoke "dopey", only to make fun of Psyduck's "clueless expression" twenty seconds later.
- The Gag Sub gets taken to hilarious extremes when Psyduck comes out:Psyduck: A Void-starer! For too long my aching synapses have starved of the balm provided within the stimulating exchanges I've had with your venerable kind! I implore disclosure of the far-reaching ruminations you have doubtless experienced of late)
Slowpoke: A request humbly received and eagerly fulfilled, though I confess my own curiosity simply must be sated before our dialogue may begin in earnest. I have overheard in hushed expositions of certainly inadequate description that a whining, pervasive excruciation constantly fills your being. While my own suffering is of more existential in nature I must ask you of your technique in coping with the unceasing discomfort.
Psyduck: It appears my burdens proceed me in even my most casual of meetings. Nevertheless, I am humbled by your concern and further to your request I must confess a sense of unrivalled accomplishment in realizing a paradigm of symbiosis with my blinding affliction. As Camus once so aptly mused, "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
Ash: I bet this isn't the most intelligent conversation in Pokémon history.
- One of Suede's long running jokes is putting Gag Subs over scenes of Pokémon Speak, which results in a great Translation: "Yes" joke in
- In "Make Room for Gloom", after Florinda gives an Info Dump on her tragic backstory, Professor Oak suddenly shows up out of nowhere.Ash: Gah! Professor Oak? What in the Seven Regions are you doing here?!
Oak: I heard someone was giving awkward exposition dumps and that blathering was involved; how could I not chime in?
- "Lights, Camera, Quack-tion":
- Jigglypuff shows up in the The Teaser and Suede is less than thrilled:Narrator: ...Unless, of course, something more interesting comes along. [Jigglypuff walks from the side of the screen]
Suede: [audibly ticked off] That... That is literally the opposite of "something interesting". That is a walking plot cul-de-sac.
- Cleavon Schpielbunk spouts a rather question-raising line:Schpielbunk: Ending on an extreme close-up! That's the money shot!
Suede: So, yeah, even though I— [beat] What did you just say?
Schpielbunk: That's the money shot!
Suede: ...That has a very different connotation today that I'm praying wasn't really a thing in the 90's...
- Jigglypuff shows up in the The Teaser and Suede is less than thrilled:
- "Go West, Young Meowth":
- Suede does another Pokéspeak Gag Sub when Meowth tries to court the girl Meowth, Meowzie:Meowth: (Be my broodmother and justify my existence!)
Meowzie: (Rancid churl!)
Meowth: [serenading] ♪(Through our seed our death finds meaning...)♪
- Meowth heading to Hollywood in his flashback transitions into Ash and co. having arrived there in present day, leading to this joke:Suede: Meowth heads west - hey, like the title - to Hollywood, and that's where he met...
Ash: We made it!
Brock: We're here!
Suede: Ash?! You were alive back then?!
- At one point a chef throws a frying pan at Meowth for stealing a piece of meat, leading to Suede referencing Brock's memetic line from the first movie.Chef: Mangy Meowth! I know! I'll use my trusty frying pan... [throws the pan at Meowth] as a flying pan!
- Suede does another Pokéspeak Gag Sub when Meowth tries to court the girl Meowth, Meowzie:
- "All Fired Up!":
- When Ash interrupts the Torch Bearer in his duty, Jenny rightfully tells him to get off the road. Ash tries to appeal to Jenny, by asking her if she doesn't recognize him. Suede questions the wisdom of that approach, pointing out that Ash has several good reasons for why he shouldn't actively try to make a Jenny recognize him:Ash: Officer Jenny, don't you know me?
Jenny: Hey, yeah! You're that kid who destroyed two public buildings in Viridian!
Ash: Officer Jenny, don't you know me?
Jenny: Wait, aren't you the brat who trespassed on our property, disrupting our K9-training, and had the gall to ask us to toughen up your Pikachu?
Ash: ...Thank you?
Ash: Officer Jenny, don't you know me?
Jenny: Hold on, you're the kid I arrested for breaking and entering at that daycare!
Ash: Hey, they never pressed charges!
Ash: Officer Jenny, don't you know me?
Jenny: Oh, my gosh! That's right, I nearly blew your head clean off! What the flip where you thinking walking into protected territory?!
Ash: You know, I'm gonna to shut my mouth now...
- Charles Goodshow somehow manages to subvert his earlier case of being Crazy-Prepared.Goodshow: Without the Flame of Moltres, we can't start the competition!
Suede: Is everyone here taking stupid-pills!? Are you senile, old man?! You had a back-up flame burning your sternum for Arceus knows how long! Just use that!
- As Team Rocket try to make their getaway with the stolen Flame, Ash tries to stop them and...Suede: ...And then Team Rocket unambiguously try to kill him— [sound of rustling papers] Wait... Sorry... Did I get some grimdark fanfic shuffled into the script here or...?
[cut to the scene from the show where Team Rocket very obviously attempts to burn Ash with the stolen Flame]
Suede: [Stunned Silence] ...Just one thing... Out of all of this, how did Team Rocket think this would go over with the boss?
Giovanni: You burned a child to death?
James: Yes, but we managed to steal the Flame of Moltres!
[Giovanni stares at them in angry silence]
James: ...It... burns things?
Giovanni: Did you need to murder a child to steal it?
James: Well, no...
Giovanni: So, independent of your heist — that resulted in a useless acquisition — and for no reason, you burned a child to death on the first day of the Pokémon League, doubtless mounting a nationwide manhunt for the "Indigo Plateau Child Murderers", while wearing the Team Rocket insignia!
James: ...Well, when you put that way, it sounds like the stupidest thing anyone has ever done! [nervous chuckle]
Giovanni: So it would seem... [snaps fingers] Doctor, we have three volunteers for the "Eternal Pain" project.
Dr. Zager: Oh, lovely!
James: But, boss...!
Giovanni: Oh, don't worry. It's just a codename... I'm actually going to kill you.
- When Ash interrupts the Torch Bearer in his duty, Jenny rightfully tells him to get off the road. Ash tries to appeal to Jenny, by asking her if she doesn't recognize him. Suede questions the wisdom of that approach, pointing out that Ash has several good reasons for why he shouldn't actively try to make a Jenny recognize him:
- "Round One — Begin!":
- Suede opens the video by complaining about the overly-long recap part:
- Sometimes it's the small things. When Ash's mom waves at the TV when Ash passes by on the screen:Oak: Delia, that's the TV, not the phone.
Delia: Hey, look! My boy is on! I hope he does well, he can be such an idiot at times...
- When Ash later talks to Professor Oak over the phone, Ash's mom passes by the screen:
Oak: That one is the phone, Delia! You can talk to him this time.
- Team Rocket disguised as reporters ask a trainer about his Pokémon.Trainer: I've got a Dodrio, [a picture of a Venomoth appears in the background] a Raticate —
Trainer!Suede: — and a somewhat tenuous grip on reality!
- Professor Oak hijacks the Pokémon League's PA system to advise Ash to swap out some of his Pokémons:Ash: Professor, you called me over the PA system just to tell me that? I had to get frisked by security!
Oak: Well, was it a boy or a girl?
- Suede is surprised at how insanely powerful Ash's Krabby is, to the point it evolved after winning one battle.Ash: [over phone] Holy crap, Professor! What did you do to him?!
Oak: Beats me! [randomly walks off] Delia, have you seen my candy jar? I swear it was around here somewhere...
- "The Fourth Round Rumble":
Ash: Now that I don't have anyone to beat to prove myself, what am I even doing here?
- Gary is somewhat anti-climatically defeated by another trainer and Ash have to deal with the prospect that he won't be facing off against his rival in the league:
Pikachu: (Worry not, Churl! When the sky blackens and the Mindflayer emerges, such petty competition will feel as naught!)
- In "A Friend In Deed", Professor Oak tells Ash "Always do your best! You're a winner, even if you lose," which Ash's mom then follows up with a cheerful "But try to win!" In Suede's version, this causes a minor spat between the two:Oak: I'm pretty sure trying to win was implicit in doing his best, Delia.
Delia: Let's not do this in front of the boy, Samuel.
Oak: Well, if you weren't trying to undermine my authority as a mentor figure—!
Delia: Excuse me! You're the one replacing him as a father figure!
- "Top 14 Times I Screwed Up" gives the #10 slot to Suede letting slide Misty imprinting herself on Togepi only by shoving away the egg's finder (Ash) and its caretaker (Brock). After a belated rant admitting that Misty might not deserve Togepi, Suede replays the clip of her excitedly watching the egg hatch, but replaces Togepi with a Facehugger.
- From "Pallet Party Panic", Gary's somewhat strange absence is remarked upon, when Professor Oak calls for a toast for Ash:Oak: And now a jaunty insult at my grandson's expense, who not only tainted his illustrious legacy by only winning 3 battles at a national competition, but apparently feels like he's too good for his small-town roots. Hip, hip...
Citizen 1: Gary sucks!
Citizen 2: I would rather not smell him later!
Oak: Jolly good.
- From "A Scare In The Air":
- At the start of the review, Suede brings up a glaring dub mistake that he somehow missed in the previous episode despite including the footage in that review:Oak: Visit Professor Ivy and bring back the mysterious Pokéball that he recently acquired.
Misty: Can't you just have her transport it to you, Professor?
Suede: I can't believe I didn't pick that up last time. That's surprisingly progressive for a 90s kids show.
- One of the comments on the "Pallet Party Panic" review compares this to Oak having to ask the player "Are you a boy or a girl?" in later games.
- Suede finds Giovanni's office set-up in the episode to be underwhelming in a highly amusing way.Subordinate: Is the quill really necessary, sir?
Giovanni: You dare question me? A quill provides an air of quiet dignity and effortless indulgence, just like my mother's favourite Arbok vase.
Subordinate: But doesn't the banner held up with sticky hooks somewhat detract from that image?
Giovanni: Doctor, one more for the "Eternal Pain" project.
Subordinate: Aw, dang it!
- Suede wonders how the target audience of children is supposed to understand Giovanni's joke about maintaining his blimp insurance policy.Child: Dad, what's an "insurance policy"?
Father: Well, you see, when capitalism and justified paranoia love each other very much...
- Suede questions why exactly Jigglypuff felt compelled to headbutt a microphone:Suede: Okay, you aren't helping your case here, puffball. Yeah, I know when I'm presented with a microphone, the first thing I do is headbutt it.
Mrs. Suede: That is what you do! We're gone through 5 mic stands, remember?
Suede: Yeah, but I shouldn't do it, should I?!
- Jessie points out to James and Meowth that Giovanni likely won't mind if the blimp is damaged, as long as they capture Pikachu in the process. Suede rather doubts that:Giovanni: You destroyed my zeppelin?
James: Yes, but we got you a Pikachu!
Giovanni: Did you need to destroy my Zeppelin to do it?
James: [nervously] It's, uh, a really powerful Pikachu...
Giovanni: Oh, well, string me up and let a Conkeldurr use me as a piñata! A Pikachu can generate electricity; can it generate enough electricity to mine enough bitcoin to pay off a multi-million dollar dirigible?! [takes some physical bitcoins out of his suit-pocket and throws them at James]
James: Well, maybe, what time is it?
Giovanni: Get Out!
- This moment, for the fact that it is an Antichrist reference in a Pokémon video of all things.Misty: How are you feeling, Toge—?
[she discovers that Togepi has been replaced by a Daruma doll]
Daruma doll: Chaos... reigns.
[Misty screams and throws the doll away]
- At the start of the review, Suede brings up a glaring dub mistake that he somehow missed in the previous episode despite including the footage in that review:
- From "Poké Ball Peril":
- When Nurse Joy mentions that she's very distantly related to the Joy in Saffron City:Brock: [dreamily] I got kidnapped by the gym leader, broke six of my teeth, nearly got crushed by a massive rubber ball, and got trapped inside a deathless, plastic golem. When I think of it, I'm reminded of you...
- When Professor Ivy mentions that she and her assistants haven't been able to open the GS Ball:Ash: Did you try throwing it?
Ash: You know, throwing the ball? I hear that usually gets them open.
Ivy: Ash! I'm a Pokémon scientist. Do you honestly think that — Velma, throw the ball! — we wouldn't exhaust every variation on the most obvious solution possible?
[throwing noises in the background]
Velma: No dice!
Ivy: [without skipping a beat] Of course throwing it didn't work.
Ash: Oh, gee, my bad.
- Ash calls up Professor Oak and asks if he can remember him:Oak: Oh, very funny! Everyone treat the world-renowned Pokémon Professor like a senile old man! Hey, you want me rate your Pokédex, Ash?
Ash: Uh, well—
Oak: It sucks! How's that for senile? Honestly! Oh, hello, Professor Ivy! Say, could you clear something up for me? Are you a boy or a girl?
Ivy: Mixed it up again, huh, Sammy? I'm a woman. Still not sure how you keep getting that mixed up.
Brock: I'll say! [gets smacked] Ow, what?!
- When Nurse Joy mentions that she's very distantly related to the Joy in Saffron City:
- From "The Lost Lapras":
- After an awkward bit of dubbing where Ash appears to randomly interrupt Misty.Misty: Oh, yeah, those three guys on the beach—
Ash: That's right...
Misty: Okay, rude! ...Great, now I lost my train of thought—
Ash: Don't care.
Misty: Ash, I will flay you where you stand, if you don't—
Ash: Bored now.
- Ash calls Oak to inform him he has the GS Ball:Ash: Hey, can I compete in the Orange League?
Oak: Sure, I ain't your papa. I just act like it.
Ash: Great! I'll bring back the GS Ball after the tournament.
Oak: Wait! Why can you drop it off here first? The tournament's not until—
Ash: Thanks, Professor! Bye! [hangs up]
- After an awkward bit of dubbing where Ash appears to randomly interrupt Misty.
- From "Fit To Be Tide":
- Ash calls Oak, after having done so last episode:Oak: You literally only called me yesterday. What possible reason could you have to—?
Tracey: I'm here too!
Oak: Yes... you certainly are, you... unusual person.
Tracey: I'm Tracey!
Oak: Fascinating. So, Ash, why didn't you just bring me the GS Ball before you set out—?
Ash: Tracey is a Pokémon Watcher, Professor!
Oak: Oh. One of those. Let me guess: You admire my work and I'm like some sort of living god to you. I'm guessing... Zeus?
Tracey: More like Athena!
Oak: Oh. Well, that's a new one. Well, I'd love to stick around and hear about how you found your life's purpose in my writings, but to be frank, I'd rather be smothered by sewer run-off. [gets glomped by Muk] Oh, Muk! Perfect timing. So long, Ash! Time for the sweet embrace of oblivion...
- When Ash expresses surprise upon finding out that the first gym-leader is a woman:Misty: What the heck, Ash?! Like a third of all the gym-leaders you faced so far were women. You were nearly killed by one. Twice! I'm related to three of them!
Ash: Oh, yeah... Though I'd hardly call your sisters "gym-leaders".
Misty: HEY, I— Yeah, touché.
- Ash calls Oak, after having done so last episode:
- From "Pikachu Re-Volts":
- Ash calls Professor Oak yet again, and Jenny uses the opportunity to bounce ideas off him about the problem of episode:Oak: That's actually really clever, but why are you telling me this? I'm pretty sure you don't need my approval.
Tracey: I do, Professor!
Oak: Shut up, Travis.
Tracey: It's Tracey, you wonderful man!
- Suede finding the supposedly innocuous closing shot of the episode, an Everybody Laughs Ending with a close-up on Pikachu and Togepi, to be very sinister:Pikachu: (The awakening begins.)
Togepi: (Long live the new flesh!)
- Ash calls Professor Oak yet again, and Jenny uses the opportunity to bounce ideas off him about the problem of episode:
- "The Crystal Onix":
- Suede's reaction when Marill first shows up:Suede: Holy crap, it's Pikablu! The legends were true! Tim's uncle really did work for Nintendo!
- After the episode climax have engaged in quite a bit of Deranged Animation:Suede: Jeepers creepers! Should it have been called "The Crystal Meth Onix"?
- Suede jokes that Lars is actually creating custom glass amiibos, seeing how they all resemble Pokémon:Suede: I guess it goes to show than even when you're fully in control of your artistic vision, you can never escape the influence of corporate marketing. And really, isn't that what Pokémon is all about?
- Suede's reaction when Marill first shows up:
- From "In The Pink":
- Tracy and Misty dicuss Togepi's strange lack of attack abilities:Tracy: I mean, I gave it at least three peekaboos, and it didn't punch me in the face once. Something's clearly wrong with this toddler.
Misty: Jeez, I'd hate to meet the toddlers you met! But no, I've tried to teach it the ways of this cruel and twisted society, but at every turn it eschews the path of aggression and instead embraces non-violent resolution. I'm terribly disappointed!
- As Ash comes to after being washed ashore, Suede notices how he only calls out for Pikachu and then Misty:Misty: Wow, Ash! You could at least acknowledge that you have another companion.
Ash: [weakly] Not until he displays a personality worth acknowledging...
- At the end of the episode, when Ash discovers that Tracey has drawn a pencil sketch of Jenny in an action pose:Ash: [looks at the sketch] Oh, by the way, Tracey, is that a personality trait you're working on?
Tracey: Oh, no! I— Fine... It's a variation on Brock's with a voyeuristic twist. I will endear myself to the audience, even if it takes three seasons!
Ash: Uuh, yeah... About that...
- At the end of the episode, when Ash discovers that Tracey has drawn a pencil sketch of Jenny in an action pose:
- When a Jenny shows up to scold Ash and the gang for tresspassing in a Pokémon reserve:Ash: Look, we've been threatened by the cops for accidentally walking on goverment property at least three times now! You might consider that the problem is not with us!
- Yet another phonecall to Oak about the plot of the episode happens:Oak: Oh. Hi, Ash. Has it been 20 minutes already?
Ash: Professor, we found Pikan Island and—
Oak: It's a reserve. I know.
Ash: What?! Well, why does everyone think it's just some mythical lost island?
Oak: The goverment encourages that story to avoid poachers!
Ash: You... want to stop people visiting an island... by propagating a myth that it is an uncharted landscape of mystery...?
Oak: Yes! Brilliant, eh? We wouldn't want evil people exploiting the Pokémon, right? Our system of government has no flaws!
Ash: Why don't you just sell the berries?
Ash: Pick the berries, plant the trees elsewhere, harvest them, sell them, everyone can have a pink Pokémon, poaching motiviation is gone. Then just run the island like a Safari Zone with a "no catch" rule. If anything, running it like this will just encourage poachers!
[Oak nods absent-mindedly]
- Tracy and Misty dicuss Togepi's strange lack of attack abilities:
- From "Shell Shock!":
- The encounter with a Joy, who for once isn't a nurse:Director Joy: Actually, it's "Director Joy". Not every Joy has to be a nurse, y'know. Although, you are struck from the family records and disowned, which sucks...
- Suede's take on Umberto, the deranged old man:Umberto: Listen! The prophecy states that when the land turns a stereotypical 80's color-scheme, the island will sink into the ocean! That's why you have to leave! (everyone glares at him) What?
Director Joy: So, you tried to scare us off the island using techniques that could have killed us easily, because you didn't want us to be on it when it supposedly sank?
Umberto: That's correct! I was trying to help you. The island's useless when it's wet!
- Team Rocket appearently wanting to gift Giovanni one of the dome fossils as "a door stop":James: Boss, we got you a dome fossil!
Giovanni: What, exactly, does this do?
James: Well, we thought you could use it as a door stop...
James: Uh, a valuable door stop?
Giovanni: Oh, no, don't backpedal, James. This is exactly what I need! Now that I can create a decent through-draft in MY OFFICE, YOUR STATUS AS ELITE ROCKETS ARE SECURED!
James: We'll just see ourselves to the "Eternal Pain" project.
Giovanni: Yes, thank you. It's the fourth—
James: Fourth door on the left. We know.
- The encounter with a Joy, who for once isn't a nurse:
- "Stage Fight!":
- The premise catches Suede's interest, since it is literally an episode about dubbing Pokémon, which he acknowledges is a perfect setup for meta humor. Then he notices that the troupe's leader looks almost exactly like himself and runs with this idea for the entirety of the synopsis, getting into an even deeper meta quagmire in the process. Complete with an obligatory Phelous cameo.Suede: Oh, man! This is reaching Tristram Shandy levels of meta now! I'm not sure I'm cut out for this.
Phelous: Eh, it get's easier. Just roll with it... By the way, I'm not really talking to you. This is just a recording you asked me for.
- Team Rocket's scheme of the week is deciding that the "talking" Pokémon will make for another impressive thing to present to Giovanni:Giovanni: What, exactly, does this do?
James: Boss... It talks.
Giovanni: You mean, like Meowth?
James: No, but it can dance and sing too!
Giovanni: You mean, like Meowth?
James: Meowth can't sing...
Giovanni: (exasperated) You know what I mean!
James: But we got a ton of them!
Giovanni: You got me an entire menagerie of Pokémon like Meowth?
James: Also, the last talking Pokémon I caught destroyed my entire lab, so forgive me if I don't giggle like a schoolgirl. Oh, and speaking of labs...
James: (resigned) Yes, pain, agony, suffering unending. Thank you, sir.
- Suede's version of the dubbing troupe escaping while still tied together:Male dubber: We have to do it, chief.
Female dubber: But that routine got us banned in Castelia!
Suede look-alike: We don't have a choice.
All troupe members: [stands up and walks away in unison] Human spider formation! Hup hup hup hup!
- Ash still hasn't made any progress with getting the GS Ball back to Professor Oak:Ash: (over the phone to Oak) They put on shows, where it looks like the Pokémons are talking!
Oak: That's great, Ash. So, you have time to visit a freaking stage show instead of hopping on a plane and delivering that blasted GS Ball over here? It would literally take a couple of days, tops.
Ash: Will talk to you again soon, Professor!
Oak: Don't you hang up on me, boy! Or so help me, I'll— (gets hung up on)
- The premise catches Suede's interest, since it is literally an episode about dubbing Pokémon, which he acknowledges is a perfect setup for meta humor. Then he notices that the troupe's leader looks almost exactly like himself and runs with this idea for the entirety of the synopsis, getting into an even deeper meta quagmire in the process. Complete with an obligatory Phelous cameo.
- From "Bye Bye Psyduck!"
- Marina points out that Psyduck appearently haven't learned to swim:Ash: (smugly) Yeah, Misty, what kind of moron can't get their Pokémon to perform basic actions~?
Ash: You can't use that one on me forever, y'know!
Misty: Watch me, Top 16!
- On Misty absolutely loving Psyduck now that it has evolved to Golduck:Tracey: That looks like love to me!
Suede: Ah, yes. Affection born out of shallow aesthetics and condictioned upon whether the one half the relationship is useful to the other. Sounds like true love to me!
- Marina points out that Psyduck appearently haven't learned to swim:
- "The Joy of Pokémon":
- Suede's following wry comment on Tracy being able to tell the exact circumference of a Joy's bieceps and shoulders from just a glance, and knows the average mesurements for all other Joy's:Suede: I'm just glad the Pokémon world at least have the decency to use metric. Really makes creeping more cohesive across the board.
- Suede adding the Sonic the Hedgehog drowning music to Ash running out of air in.
- A Brick Joke, when Joy explains her backstory and how she chose her career:Misty: (skeptical) Really? You weren't influrenced the slightest towards that profession by family influrence?
Joy: Not at all! Girls in our family are free to choose any profession they wish. As long as the Consciousness deems it worthy.
Ash, Tracey, and Misty: What?
Joy: Oops! Nearly let you guys into the Seventh Circle... It would have been a shame to cauterize the three of you after the fun we had, right? I'm such a silly head sometimes!
- Nurse Joy's reaction when Tracey starts, in Suede's words, mansplaining to her:Tracey: You've been in the Orange Islands long enough to know when it blows like this, a hurricane's on its way! It's just too risky to go out there again!
Tracey!Suede: Yes, 1,5 centimetres, uh, Joy?
Joy!Suede: I've been doing this longer than you have been alive. I've lived on these islands so long I could kayak between them in my sleep. And I'm pretty sure I actually have, there was that one time I woke up on Pinkan with a jar of calcium in one hand and a broken Corsola in the other... Uh, you think I'm unable to make a judgement call, in my profession, because a twelve-year-old thinks it looks too dangerous... for me?
Tracey: It's just too risky to go out there again!
- Suede's following wry comment on Tracy being able to tell the exact circumference of a Joy's bieceps and shoulders from just a glance, and knows the average mesurements for all other Joy's:
- From "Navel Maneuvers":
- The Running Gag of portraying Danny as a creepy Hannibal Lecter-esque character, due to the facts that he has a constant Dissonant Serenity attitude, rather skeevily hits on Misty, and appearently is the only inhabitant of an otherwise seemingly abandoned island town.
- Suede's bafflement of Danny's way of testing the trainer who wants to battle him by having them climb a mountain without help from their Pokémons, comparing it to a Hearthstone tournament that demands that its participants must complete Dark Souls before they are allowed to sign up.
- Suede coming up with a humorous explaination for why Tracey appearently knows about Ash's Charizard, despite the two never sharing any screentime before this episode:Ash: What are you yelling for, Tracy? You've never seen Charizard before!
Tracey: Are you kidding?! You don't know you got Number 3 on PSBN's Top Fails of the Indigo League? Everyone knows your Charizard!
- From "A Shipful of Shivers":
- Yet another phone conversation with Professor Oak:Ash: Any way, we are on Moro right now. You want us to pick anything up?
Oak: Other than a plane ticket to drop off that blasted GS Ball? Why don't you check this out? (holds up newspaper) Appearently, it's in your area.
[camera zooms in on an ad in said paper]
Ash: Oh, sweet! afrosick is paying! That's my favourite dubstep group!
Oak: No, not afrosick. Although I do agree they drop the bass with shocking regularity.
- And Team Rocket plans to steal an old trophy and present it to Giovanni:Giovanni: What, exactly, does this do?
James: It's a 300 year old Pokémon League trophy!
Giovanni: Ah, very nice! And worth a tidy amount to the right black market bidder if I don't keep for myself. Well done. What else?
James: Aren't you going to forgive our mistakes and give us a bonus?
Giovanni: ...For bringing me a knick-knack worth maybe 300 dollars?
James: Well, I, uh... Oh, nevermind. Fourth door on the left, let's go gang.
Meowth: Dips on the clean biting stick!
James: Oh, darn it.
- Yet another phone conversation with Professor Oak:
- From "Tracey Gets Bugged":
- Tracey reveals that his Venonat can use Sleep Powder. Suede decides to lampshade how that could have easily solved the problem in the "Snack Attack" episode:[Ash gives Tracey some serious side eye]
Ash: [eerily calm] That's a pretty useful move, isn't it, Tracey?
Tracey: Well, yeah, I mean, I—
Ash: I'm not finished. You don't think, perhaps, knowledge of this move might have been advantageous, when — oh, I don't know — WHEN THE ECOSYSTEM OF AN ENTIRE ISLAND AND THE GRAPEFRUIT POPULATION THEREIN IS IN JEOPARDY!?!
Tracey: What? What are you—? Oh...
Tracey: Well, uh, I... We weren't trying to catch Snorlax, you see, so, I, uh... (resigned) I'm sleeping on the Lapras shell tonight, aren't I?
Ash: Oh yeah. You're gonna need that sleep powder.
- After commiting the Scyther to the nearest Pokémon Center, the gang decides to call Professor Oak again:Oak: Yeah, it's great that you've caught another Pokémon, Ash, but where in Giratina's name is that cursed GS Ball—? Wait, you're not Ash. You're that suck-up. Amy, was it?
Tracey: It's Tracey, you avatar of all I desire!
Oak: Shoot! Lost the gender coin-toss again...
- Suede admits that Team Rocket has a good idea for in catching the Scyther swarm:Giovanni: [with sound of angry buzzing in the background] What, exactly, does this Pokémon do?
James: We've got a full compliment of Veloci-Mantises! Equipped with auto-slicing weapons and from warrior-culture stock! It's basically a platoon of Klingons with bat'leth for arms!
Giovanni: Excellent! Well done!
Giovanni: ...Can I help you?
James: Oh. I'm just so... [sobbing with joy] happy!
- Suede getting annoyed with the Narrator for rattling the supposed aesop of the episode:Narrator: Tracey's preservation and patience finally paid off! He has a new Pokémon and a new friend! We can find those same things. But only if we look.
Suede: What? No! Wait! That's not the lesson at all! It's about understanding how we can still pick ourselves up and find purpose after failing! Don't you spit on a good story with that vague Disney "believe in yourself and make friends" crap, you ignorant, disembodied blight on the dub! (the episode irises out) Oh, don't you iris out on me, jerk! I'm not done with you—
(the "Thoughts" section starts)
Suede: And don't you try to calm me down with a section change, me!
- Tracey reveals that his Venonat can use Sleep Powder. Suede decides to lampshade how that could have easily solved the problem in the "Snack Attack" episode:
- From a "A Way Off Day Off":
- The episode teases a Scyter vs. Charizard battle, but this ends up going absoutely nowhere. This prompts Suede to go on a rant about how utterly tepid he finds the episode's overall pacing and plot points:Suede: We've gotta pump the breaks on that aspect for such scintillating story threads as: "Team Rocket sunbathing!" "Grathering fruit!" [over a clip of Tracey feeding sandwiches to Snorlax] And there won't be a dry eye in the house once we reach the heartrending "Fruit Sandwhich Massacre!"
- At the end of the episode, the possibly of a Scyter vs. Charizard battle is teased yet again. And again it flizzes out:Tracey: They are too though to say it, but it looks like they respect each other!
Ash: I hope so. 'Cause I'd hate to referee that match!
Suede: I wouldn't! For Pete's sake, DO SOMETHING!
- At the end of the episode, the possibly of a Scyter vs. Charizard battle is teased yet again. And again it flizzes out:
- The episode teases a Scyter vs. Charizard battle, but this ends up going absoutely nowhere. This prompts Suede to go on a rant about how utterly tepid he finds the episode's overall pacing and plot points:
- From "Mandarin Island Miss Match":
- Suede getting rather flustered by the heavy use of Male Gaze in the episode when it comes to Prima's character:Suede: Who storyboarded this episode? Russ Meyer?
- Suede's annoyance with Prima's constant use of Ice Cream Koans, describing as it her speaking in Tumblr quotes.Prima: You can't control your Pokémon, unless you can control yourself.
Misty: She's so deep!
Ash: [utterly unimpressed] Wow. Where did you get that? A cereal box?
Prima: You might travel across the land, searching far and wide, but do your Pokémon understand the power that's inside?
Tracey: She's like a female Ghandi!
Ash: [exasperated] She's just quoting the theme song! How am I strong as a Pokémon trainer without being strong on the inside? I'm not the one fighting!
Prima: Ash, you must learn to master your rage before—
Ash: Rage becomes my master?
Prima: [with a hint of annoyance] ...I wasn't going to say that.
- Suede getting rather flustered by the heavy use of Male Gaze in the episode when it comes to Prima's character:
- From "Wherefore Art Thou, Pokémon?":
- Emily has to clarify to Ash that she is looking for a female Nidoran:Ash: Look, I just don't ask the sex of everything I encounter. I'm not Professor Oak.
- A wild Dominic Noble appears:Suede: Dom?! The heck are you doing in my channel? Don't you have a successful channel to run and a silver Play Button to polish?
Dom: Hey! Polishing-and-foundle days are tuesday, thank you very much!
- Suede is nonplussed at Emily and Ralph fighting each other with sticks, rather than their Pokémon:Suede: What are they doing? Their Pokémon are right there! People aren't meant to fight like this.
Linkara: Not like thiiis!
Dom: (confused) What was that?!
Linkara: Oh, that was just me. I'm a Running Gag that really should have been retired a long time ago.
- Ash and the gang manages to find Maria and Tony suggling near some bushes:Dom: Yeah, they play this up as "cute", but you just know there's like six eggs in the bushes.
Suede: "We just don't know how they got there!"
- Ash and the gang visit a local restaurant named "Sandwhich". Just "Sandwhich".
- Suede then notices how the chef at "Sandwhich" knows suspiciously much about Emily and Ralph.Ash: Wow, it's kinda of sad, slash disturbing, how you know so much about the local pre-teens.
Chef: What are you talking about? Everyone knows about those two. Now eat your Sandwhich-brand sandwhichs while I ajust my real mustache.
- Suede then notices how the chef at "Sandwhich" knows suspiciously much about Emily and Ralph.
- Meowth visits Maria at night:Dom: Maria must have nerves of steel. If I saw that out my window I'm not sure I'd ever stop screaming.
- Misty reveals she send Emily a bouquet of flowers and Ralph a remote-controled toy plane as part of her match-making scheme.Suede: Dang! He got the better end of the deal! Who wants a head full of dead sex-organs, when you can have a frigging drone fighter?
Dom: Yeah, would girls even want flowers when they were, like, eight years old in the 90's? (mulls over his own question for a bit) Calluna?
Calluna: (off-screen) What?
Dom: What would you have wanted as a present when you were eight?
Calluna: (off-screen) The blood of my enemies. Or, you know, Beanie Babies.
Dom: So you wouldn't have wanted flowers? ...Well, thanks, Suede! Now I'm sleeping on the couch.
Suede: Yeah... Oops...
- Our two hosts have a brief meta dicussion on their style when it comes to skits:Dom: So... Do you do this all the time? Just dub yourself over the episode?
Suede: Oh, yeah. It's pretty easy to edit the lip flaps. Why?
Dom: (holds up a wig and a dress) It's just, uhhh... (looks over the wig and dress) So much easier than what I'm used to.
- Emily has to clarify to Ash that she is looking for a female Nidoran:
- From "Get Along, Li—", sorry, get "Get Along Little, Pokémon":
- Suede pointing out the weirdness of Ethan carting himself around in an old-timey covered wagon:Misty: Wouldn't it be more effecient to use an electric truck with a giant trailer battery? You wouldn't even have to pay for fuel or Tauros food—
Ethan: Now, that sounds might like change to me, Missy...
Misty: It's "Misty".
Ethan: ...And change is the one thing we Tauros-folks can't abide! Now, what would my Tauros do if I had one of them auto-mobiles?
Misty: Well, you could release them back into the wild and give them back to the ecosystem. Or you could even put them out to pasture for an easier life.
Ash: Ah, Misty, everyone knows that once you catch Tauros, they're yours forever!
Ethan: That's wisdom right there.
Misty: You're both morons!
- A video phone call comes in for Ethan to fix a blackout in a nearby townMisty: Wait. So you have a video-phone with wi-fi in your covered wagon, but a truck is too much change?
Ethan: You're starting to get on my nerves, Misty...
Misty: It's "Missy", you— Aw, crap!
- A video phone call comes in for Ethan to fix a blackout in a nearby town
- This line:Suede: Then they blast off Team Rocket properly, but not before Meowth sets his nipples on fire. Now, there's a sentence I didn't think I'd write in this series!
- At the end, Ethan offers Ash a partnership in his business:Ash: Solid employment doing something fulfilling, useful, and interesting? Flag that! I've got a sports career to pursue!
Ethan: Well... Maybe when you grow up look me up, okay?
Ash: (depressed) Yeah...
- Suede pointing out the weirdness of Ethan carting himself around in an old-timey covered wagon:
- From "The Mystery Menace":
- The gang encounters a strange pair of tentacles emerging from the water in the sewer:Ash: Wait. I think have seen something like before!
Misty: Ash, you pervert!
Ash: No, I— What? N-n-no, it's a vine whip!
- A Jenny finds our heros in the sewer:Jenny: What are you kids doing down there? Aw, geez! Listen, I don't care what that Mr. Mime says! I can assure you that not everything floats down there. Come on up before you get your dreams eaten.
- Ash tries to get Professor Oak help them out with the mayor:Ash: Professor!? You're an interested authority with a large following, right?!
Oak: Yes, but, to be fair, a lot of them are weirdos.
Tracey: Sigm my forehead, you Mega-Evolution of man!
Ash: Great! Could you contact a newsroom and tell them about what the mayor is going to do? He wants to be re-elected, and you can make sure it doesn't happen!
Oak: You're right, Ash! I could do that.
Oak: (nonchalant) ...Well, bye.
Ash: (resigned) Bye, Professor.
- When Jenny expresses her confidence in the mayor getting voted out of office, now that the truth is out, Suede finds the joke he tries making about it gets a bit too real:Ash: Yeah, I think you're are right. I mean, what kind of ignorant population would elect a public official, when he has clearly broken the law in full view of the—
Suede: I'm sorry! I can't help it! It's right there!
- The gang encounters a strange pair of tentacles emerging from the water in the sewer:
- From "Misty Meets Her Match":
- Ash proclaims that he has been training his Pokémon for "a long time!"Rudy: (geniunely interested) Really? How long?
Ash: (cold fury) Never ask that again.
- Ash decides to "bug Professor Oak again":Oak: Land's sake, Ash! Do you know what time it is? I'm, like, sixty!
Ash: Sorry, Professor, but I think you need to know where I'm at! I passed the first challenge!
Oak: And this couldn't have waited until morning, because...?
Tracey: (pushes Ash away) Professor, I drew a thing! Look at with your special eyes!
(close up of Tracey's drawing, revealing it to be the top of an Elekid's head)
Oak: That's... certainly a "thing".
Tracey: Do you think it could be a new Pokémon?! Validate me as a person!
Oak: ...I'm pretty sure it's just a plug.
Ash: Shh! Professor! You're not supposed to just come out and admit what the show's doing!
- Misty is distracted by something:Mahri: Misty? Why are you spacing out?
Misty: Oh. The animations are having a rough time this episode, so I though I would cut them a break and have a flashback to literally 3 minutes ago.
- Ash proclaims that he has been training his Pokémon for "a long time!"
- From "Bound For Trouble"
- Mewoth fantasies about how things will work out for him once, he brings Pikachu to Giovanni:Fantasy Giovanni: I don't know exactly what this Pokémon does... But it's still more results than Jessie and James, so you may have a pet.
- Suede notices how strangely selfish and dimissive Jessie and James are acting towards Mewoth in this episode, when mere 8 episodes ago, the point of the story was that they both really liked him as a friend and was willing to make personal sacrifices to help him.Suede: It is not like the best episodes in the entire series are ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OT— (gets cut off by the "Thoughts" section)
- Mewoth fantasies about how things will work out for him once, he brings Pikachu to Giovanni:
- From "Charizard Chills"
- Ash decides to call Charizard to the field. The usual thing happens.Ash: Why does this keep happening? I do the same thing over and over again. Why am I not getting different results?! Am I crazy?
Misty and Tracey: (exasperated) Yes.
- Charizard is not really any better himself though.Charizard: (thinking) Fire is not working... Maybe fire? (spits fire at Poliwrath to no effect) Aw, dang it! ...But now he's on the back foot. He won't be expecting... Fire! (spits fire at Poliwrath to no effect) Oh, this guy is good! Maybe I should— Surprise, fire! (spits fire at Poliwrath to no effect) HOW AM I LOSING?!
- Charizard is not really any better himself though.
- Team Rocket pulls out actual saw discs to attack Ash and Charizard. Suede finds this a jarring brutal move for them, and cannot help but make a 4Kids censorship joke:James: These enchanted destruto discs will send you twerps straight to the Shadow Realm for Infitite Losers where you'll feel slightly uncomfortable for two hours!
- Ash decides to call Charizard to the field. The usual thing happens.
- From "The Pokémon Water War":
- Suede questioning the logic behind Squirtle challenging Wartortle to a battle:Suede: Because, as we all know, the best way to prove you're a good firefighter is to beat one up.
- Misty questions why one of the exercises is to shoot moving targets:Misty: What, you guys often fight fire that's flying through the air?
Aidan: (exasperated sigh) The Fletchling line, Chandelure, Moltres, Ho-Oh, Oricorio, Volcarona...
Misty: Okay, yeah... Dumb question.
Aidan: ...Oh, and Charizard! Man, they're the worst! Some trainers can't control them, and they end tourching entire house parties. Can you imagine?
Ash: (nervously) Yeah... What, uh, morons...
- Suede questioning the logic behind Squirtle challenging Wartortle to a battle:
- From "Pokémon Food Fight":
- Gulzar proves to be very angry and confrontational:Ash: Look, don't you have a Twitter account with a lot of numbers in the username to run?
- Ash dons the apple costume that Tracey for some inexplicable reason owns, resulting in a Call-Back:Ash: Tracey, why do you own an apple costume that is too small for you?
Tracey: Well, Ash, there is actually another reason why the only girls in my life are in a sketchbook...
- The Running Gag of Suede adding new epithets to Gulzar's name, including "the Unspeakable", "the Destroyer", and "his arms wide".
- Gulzar proves to be very angry and confrontational:
- From "Pokémon Double Trouble":
- When Ash is a victim of Mistaken Identity, Suede notices that Ash has quite a few Identical Strangers running around.Suede: Kids leaving on Pokémon journeys with a cap and a single Pikachu are surprisingly common. Man, I know part of Ash's appeal is that he is not special in this world, but I didn't think they'd go that far...
- Ash attempts to stop Team Rocket's Robo-Rhydon by stepping in front of it:Ash: These tourists deserves to purchase over-prized cocktails in peace! Come and get me!
James: Kid, the last time you did this, we tried to kill you with a flamethrower. You want to take the risk that Moltres is close by?
Ash: Well, it does live just a few islands over...
James: Oh, shoot! He's right!
- Suede imaging how the conversation of Giovanni refusing to pay for a ventilation system in Robo-Rhydon went:James: Boss, can we requisition a Rhydon mech to capture a single Pikachu?
Giovanni: I suppose. Just make to sure to rotate the threads on it.
James: Also, could it have air-conditioning?
Giovanni: (slams his fist on his desk) DO YOU THINK I'M MADE OF MONEY!?!
- Tracey and Ash dicuss strategy:Tracey: You know, it almost seems like the Psychic type is pretty overpowered at the moment.
Ash: Don't talk to me about overpowered! I got killed by a Psychic Pokémon!
Ash: Oh. Right. I don't remember that. Nevermind.
- Charizard might finally be listening to Ash, but he and Pikachu start fighting internally, to the point that Pikachu sabotages the battle just to get back at Charizard:
- When Ash is a victim of Mistaken Identity, Suede notices that Ash has quite a few Identical Strangers running around.
- From "The Wacky Watcher":
- Suede notices how Quincy T. Quackenpoker is quite the Meta Guy:Suede: And now that the plot has come to a screeching hold, he decides that—
Quincy: (actual dialogue) Say, now that the plot has come a screeching hold, why don't I take a look at your sketchbook?
(the episode abruptly pauses)
Suede: I... Uh... W-well... Well, what am I even doing here?
- When James asks if they can't use Pokéballs rather than a net, Jessie notices that they are out of money for such things. Suede points out that makes sense that after all the mechs the Team has been using lately, they would probably have trouble requisitioning stuff from Giovanni:Giovanni: You blew your budget on a giant, amphibious Rhydon tank, and now you have the gall to ask me for a compliment of Pokéballs?! I don't dare speculate, so: What for?
James: To catch about 50 Magikarp!
Giovanni: (disbelieving) ...Magikarp?
James: No, see, you can evolve them into—
Giovanni: (now furious) Magikarp?!
James: Y-yes, you could perhaps—
Giovanni: (slams his fist on his desk) MAGIKAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!?!
- Suede notices how Quincy T. Quackenpoker is quite the Meta Guy:
- From "The Stun Spore Detour":
- After personally experiencing what getting paralyzed is like, Ash almost has a moment of clarity:Ash: This... Is... The... Living death...! Why... Do we... Subject... Pokémon... To it...? Maybe.. Battle... Bad...?
Misty: Good greifing Giratina! He's delusional!
- James has a rich kid flashback, which involves him getting a potion made from weeds growing on his gradfather's estate:James: I always wondered why they didn't use a Heal, but as papa always used to say (in old man voice): "If it is not artisanal, then it has touched the hand of the common man! Lousy kids these days, with their workforce, and their unions, and their living conditions!" And then, he'd hit the laudanum again.
- Misty doesn't fall for a trap using manniquins with designer dresses as bait. Suede wonders why Team Rocket thought that would work:Misty: Golly, designer dresses! Mayhaps I should put some on in broad daylight, while my friends' muscles slowly atrophies and hope no one is staring at me from the bushes!
James: Hey! We resent that! We're watching from the bushes as a misdemeanor, not a felony!
Misty: Yep, this doesn't seem like the work of a serial killer at all!
- After personally experiencing what getting paralyzed is like, Ash almost has a moment of clarity: