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Funny / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)

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  • In April's opening report in "Turtle Tracks," a professor points at a still-tied-up security guard and, ignoring the guard's muffled protests, declares that it must be the work of ninjas.
    April: And how can you tell that, Professor?
    Professor: Well, look for yourself. *displays rope* It's made in Japan!
    • Later, April can't tell the Turtles apart since they're all wearing trenchcoats and hats.
      April: Nice going, Raphael! Only half the people saw you!
      Leonardo: I'm Leonardo.
      April: Oh, sorry.

      Raphael: April, why would people make themselves look weirder than they already are?
      April: I have no idea, Michelangelo.
      Raphael: I'm Raphael.
      April: Oh sorry.

      Donatello: Uh, April... ?
      April: Yes?
      Donatello: Why would people wanna make themselves deaf?
      April: I really haven't a clue, Leonardo.
      Donatello: I'm Donatello.
      April: Sorry!
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    • The first thing the Turtles encounter on the surface is a little old lady who shrieks at the sight of the 'monsters'. Then she whips out a Tommy gun from her shopping, darkly telling our heroes to back off.
  • In "A Thing About Rats", Raph threatened Baxter Stockman by saying if he doesn't cooperate, he's gonna get... sarcastic!
    • Baxter's Title Drop when making a remark about the Shredder.
      Baxter: That guy must really have a thing about rats.
  • "Hot Rodding Teenagers from Dimension X" was full of Totally Radical Narm Charm.
    Raphael: Is it my imagination, or did we just get buzzed by a couple of rocket-powered low-riders?
    Dask: Scrrr-atch one turtle!
    Dask: Uh-oh, cats and kittens! Do you dig what I dig?
    General Traag: Alright Neutrinos, come out fighting!
    Donatello: Who are they?
    Dask: Stone Warriors from Dimension X! They're baaad!
    Raphael: Yah... I guessed that. You got any weapons on those hot-rods?
    Dask: Of course! They're required by law!
  • Shredder whining at the end of "Shredded and Splintered"
    Shredder: But I don't want to conquer this place! I want to conquer Earth!!
    • Vernon upon seeing the giant Krang in his robot body in the same episode:
      Vernon: Ugh, his brain is in his stomach...
  • When the street sweeper come towards them in "The Incredible Shrinking Turtles".
    Leonardo: Head for the high ground!
    Donatello: (trying to reach up) Uh, I got news for ya: the high ground is too high.
    (the Turtles are being washed away)
    Leonardo: Remember, we're turtles! We're at home under the water!
    Raphael: Just keep telling me that!
  • The scene in "Curse of the Evil Eye" where Blodgett tries to turn his gold watch into piles of gold with Shredder's helmet containing the Eye of Zarnov.
    Blodgett: Oh, it didn't work. I wonder why not?
    Baxter Stockman: Because you're an idiot, that's why!
  • "Cowabunga Shredhead" has numerous CMOF after continuous viewing.
    • When Shredder arrives at his temporary hideout in the transport modules while Bebop and Rocksteady were cleaning like Shredder says.
      Shredder: This place is a pig sty! I thought I told you to clean it up!
      Bebop: But we did. But then you came busting in and we—
      Shredder: No excuses!
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    • When a hologram of Michelangelo appears:
      Bebop: Its that surfer toitle!
      Rocksteady: Let's turn him into toitle mush!
      [They run to grab it, then hit their heads on the wall]
      Shredder: Cretins! Didn't I just say its a hologram?
    • Any scene with Shredder thinking he's Michelangelo.
      Shredder: I brought back some takeout. So, like, let's get down and pig out.
      Leonardo: It's Shredder!
      Shredder: Where?! Where?!
    • Bebop and Rocksteady singing "We caught us a toitle!"
    • The look on Shredder's face when he turns back to normal.
    • Bebop and Rocksteady shooting the Michelangelo clones with their laser guns in Shredder's hideout.
      Rocksteady: Just like a shooting gallery!
      Bebop: Yeah, it's times like this I wish I could count so I could keep score!
      Shredder: Stop, you idiots! You'll hit something!
      Bebop: Yeah, like toitles!
    • Bebop and Rocksteady think Shredder is a "toitle in disguise".
      Shredder: (seeing his synthesizer destroyed) What happened to my beautiful synthesizer?!
      [Bebop and Rocksteady jump on him]
      Bebop: Great disguise.
      Rocksteady: Yeah, but not good enough to fool us!
      Shredder: Ahh, you idiots! What are you doing?!
  • This little gem from "Turtles at the Earth's Core" when Shredder berates Bebop and Rocksteady for sending a Diplodocus to the surface instead of a carnivorous dinosaur:
    Rocksteady: Gee boss, it ain't easy gettin' dinosaurs to obey.
    Bebop: Yeah... (snorts) They're all muscle and no brains.
    Shredder: (to the camera) I won't say it, it's too easy.
  • "Michelangelo's Birthday" has a scene in which Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady emerge from a transport module coughing heavily.
    Shredder: I've told you a thousand times! Don't open the sunroof until after we surface!
  • In "Leonardo, the Renaissance Turtle", April O'Neil and Leo are arrested by LEX-1 (a robotic police officer) for accidentally jaywalking, This exchange takes place:
    LEX-1: When will you humans realize that crime does not pay?
    Leonardo: Warning shots for jaywalking?! You must have a loose fuse!
    April O'Neil: For sure! This city has ENOUGH potholes in it already!
    LEX-1: The prisoners will be put on bread and water for making wisecracks! Do you have any last words ?
  • Some of Bebop and Rocksteady's bickering in "Super Rocksteady and Mighty Bebop" can be pretty amusing.
    Rocksteady: Easy, Bebop! You're gonna make me drop this thing!
    Bebop: I can't help it, Rocksteady. Lightning gives me the willies?
    • Later:
      Bebop: Give me the disk, Rocksteady.
      Rocksteady: Uh-oh! It ain't here! I must've dropped it?
      Bebop: You twit! Now we're gonna get it good.
    • Of course, the whole episode in general is riddled with funny moments, from the mesmerizer making everyone act like a child to Donatello reprogramming Super Rocksteady and Mighty Bebop to dance and then self-destruct.
    • This classic bit from Shredder: "I wasn't explaining it to you, *turns to camera, points at audience* I was explaining it to them!"
  • In the end of "The Making of Metalhead", the Turtles return to being sick in bed. Unfortunately, April has to return to work. When Raphael complains who will take care of them until they're better, she replies she's taken care of it.
    April: Oh Nurse Metalhead!
    Metalhead: (comes in wearing a nurse hat and holding medications) Alright! Everybody in bed, and I mean now!
    Donatello: (slaps himself on the head) I've created a Frankenstein...
  • This exchange from "Plan Six from Outer Space"
    Secretary: Education?
    Rocksteady: I got four years of science school.
    Secretary: And what did you study?
    Rocksteady: I didn't study anything. They studied me!
  • This gem from "Bebop and Rocksteady Conquer the Universe, where Shredder and Krang have been affected by the Anxiefier, a ray gun that makes people afraid of everything they see:
    Krang: I could use the computer to analyze the atmosphere's atoms for a cure, but there's one problem.
    Shredder: What is it?
    Krang: I'm too scared to touch the computer!
    • Later, Krang thinks he's found a solution;
      Krang: According to the computer, a bombardment of neutrons from the generator downstairs will counteract the ray's effects.
      Shredder: It sounds scary...
      Krang: There's nothing to be afraid of! You go first.
      Shredder: No, you go.
      Krang: No, you go.
    • Shredder: Have you two idiots found that ray yet? Well, answer me, you peabrain pinheads!
      Rocksteady: Not if you're gonna be so nasty about it!
      Shredder: I'll talk to you anyway I like!
  • From "Planet of The Turtleoids":
    Raphael: If he starts singing, I'd advise you to change the channel.
  • Krang's android body wearing a Modesty Towel and a shower cap. Much funnier than it sounds.
  • The main character of Leave It to Beaver as a freakin' mobster in "The Great Cufflink Caper".
  • In "Blast From The Past" the ghost tells Shredder that in order to prove he is the original Foot Clan sensei he must perform the dreaded "Cur-Li Maneuver" he makes it clear he doesn't know it, later Splinter after regaining his memory demonstrates it, it consists of dancing around his opponent going "woo woo, woo" like Curly Howard, slapping his opponent and bonking them on the head going "nyuk, nyuk, nyuk".
    • Also a Moment of Awesome. Here it is for all to see!
    • From the same episode, the ending, where the ghost tells the Turtles to save him the last slice of pizza.
  • Pretty much anytime Shredder and Krang act Like an Old Married Couple.
    Shredder: Why is it that whenever they do something wrong they're my stupid mutants?
  • Shredder being turned back into a child at the end of "Leatherhead: Terror of the Swamp."
    Shredder: Krang, I need to grow up!
    Krang: That's what I've been trying to tell you for years!
  • The Elvis aliens in "Burne's Blues".
  • In one episode, the Technodrome's generator problems have gotten so bad that the villains have to rely on pedal power. At one point, power begins to fail while Bebop and Rocksteady are on the surface. Shredder looks at Krang and says thoughtfully, "Krang, you look like you could use some exercise." One Gilligan Cut later, Krang in his android body is pedaling!
    Shredder: Faster, baby! Feel the burn!
    Krang: Never...let them...see you...sweat!
  • Some of the show's many, many animation errors are this.
  • "Gee, where's that Abe Lincoln guy when you need him?"
  • "Shredder's Mom". The title alone is probably enough to make you giggle, but the episode must be seen to be believed. Highlights include Shredder's mom escaping from a retirement home for villains, Shredder's trademark whining when he bickers with her, and Krang seeming to have a crush on her later in the episode since she's much more competent than her son.
  • Though the Red Sky seasons were pretty dark, they still had a few comical moments. One episode had the Turtles try to find where Dregg plans to go and mistakenly find their way at an animal testing lab. Raphael muses that Dregg knows Santa won't give him the puppy he wanted for Christmas.
  • Pretty much any time Burne chews Vernon out.
    Vernon: We need a trick question! What's a trick question?
    Burne: Here's one. WHY DID I EVER HIRE YOU!?
    • In "Return of the Shredder", Vernon shows Burne his report on 'attack dogs' in the city.
      Burne: What?! You waste my time and my crew on some stupid little poodle? Out, out, out!
      Vernon: Hmph! In France they're called "The pit bulls of par-ee!"
  • That time when the turtles get their hands on one of Krang's tunneling modules.
    Raphael: "Are you sure you can drive this thing?"
    Donatello: "How hard can it be? Bebop and Rocksteady do it all the time."
  • And that time when the turtles get stuck in a tarpit:
    Leonardo: "Don't worry! Someone's bound to come along and pull us out!"
    Raphael: "Yeah! Like some archaeologist, fifty billion years from now!"
  • With Irma being such a comic relief character, some of these moments from her are to be expected. Such as:
    • "Donatello's Degree", when Don asks Irma to pretend to be him to accept his diploma from Sopho U.
      Donatello: Come on Irma, you'll love Sopho U., it's on a beautiful lake...
      Irma: Ah, forget it, I get seasick.
      Donatello: It's surrounded by flowers and pine trees...
      Irma: I've also got allergies.
      Donatello: And the campus is just crawling with eligible men.
      Irma: What are we waiting for? Let's go!
    • "Green with Jealousy", after April and Irma finish covering a story about a nuclear-powered submarine, and Irma is disappointed by the experience.
      Irma: I didn't meet one single sailor!
      April: What do you mean? You were just talking to a whole fleet of them!
      Irma: I said single sailor, those guys are all married.
      *The small group of sailors are still throwing out cat calls and wolf whistles towards April and Irma*
    • "Attack of the 50 Foot Irma", probably one of the funniest episodes of the series, but some specific moments:
      Vernon: And just where do you think you're sneaking off too?
      Irma: To the coffee shop. This diet is killing me!
      Vernon: *Scoffs* For Pete's sake, Irma, for once, could you stop thinking about food?
      Irma: I wish I could.
      • Later still, after Donatello brings Irma a cure for her growth in the form of a giant capsul:
        Irma: Ah, forget it, I can't swallow pills! When I was little, my mother gave me my medicine in a spoonful of ice cream.
        Leonardo: Come on, Irma, you're a big girl, now!
        Raphael: Yeah. Really big.
      • And, of course, anytime Giant Irma accidentally steps on a car, or bumps into a building, or destroys something else in her clumsiness, and apologizes for each thing she wrecks.
  • Also from "Green With Jealousy", when Splinter finds Leo, Mikey, and Raph fighting over Irma.
    Splinter: Stop! What is the meaning of this?
    Donatello: They're in love, Master.
    Splinter: That is good!
    Donatello: With the same woman.
    Splinter: That is not good!
    • Leo, Raph, and Mikey act so stupid under the potion's influence that it's just hilarious.
      • And to top it off, Rocksteady winds up falling in love with April
  • Shredder comes up with a rather brilliant idea; start a pizza business and use his enemies' Trademark Favorite Food as bait to find their hideout under the guise of a pizza delivery. Unfortunately for him, he grossly underestimated the Big Applesauce. Queue a montage of him absolutely sure that his latest order is so odd that only the Turtles could have ordered it only to deliver it to seemingly every frat house, foodie masochist, and pregnant woman in New York City.
    Michelangelo: One whole wheat pizza with a plain cheese topping? Whoa, that is weird.
    Vernon: I suppose you want a tip.
    Michelangelo: Nooo...
    Vernon: Here's one anyway: get another job. (Slams door)
  • At the Channel 6 costume party.
    Vernon: May I have your attention please? It's time to announce the winner of the costume contest! The winning costume is... the Teenage... Mutant... Ninja... Aardvark!
    Turtles: What?!!
    *The "Teenage Mutant Ninja Aardvark" steps onto the stage to accept its award, much to the Turtles' annoyance*
    Michelangelo: That copy cat!
    Raphael: What a lousy costume!
    Vernon: Congratulations, Chief!
    *Burne removes his mask*
    Donatello: Burne Thompson? How come his costume won over "ours"?!
    Raphael: You don't suppose being the boss something to do with it, do you?
    Others: Nah.
  • The German theme is hilarious throughout. Why it ends with an Evil Laugh is anyone's guess though.
  • Irma stomping on the Rat King's foot in his debut episode, especially since she did so deliberately in spite of her well-known klutziness.
  • A lightened-up Leonardo trolls the other Turltes in this scene.
  • The Under the Shell feature with James Avery, in character as Shredder:
    James/Shredder: Krang and I are divorced now, I haven't seen him in years. I kinda miss him, but not really; he was such a nag.
  • "Turtles, Turtles Everywhere":
    • After Bebop and Rocksteady trespass in DUMP-1000's main control room, he demands the password.
      Rocksteady: Open, says me?
      DUMP-1000: (eyes blinking red) Incorrect response!
    • Shredder orders DUMP-1000 to "find turtles wherever they are". However, he didn't specify his orders, and the dump trucks taken every turtle in the city, from zoos, pet shops, homes, and even the beaches.
      Shredder: No, no, NO! You're bringing me the wrong turtles!
      DUMP-1000: You ask for turtles, I bring you turtles.
      Shredder: Talking to you is like talking to a mindless robot! (calls Krang) Krang, do something! This stupid computer is kidnapping every turtle in town!
      Krang: Good.
      Shredder: Did you say "good"?!
      Krang: Precisely, DUMP-1000 is efficient, eventually it will bring you the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Until then Shredder, get off my back! (hangs up)
      Shredder: (frustrated) Turtles turtles everywhere, and not a blasted ninja among them!
      [A giant tortoise (deliberately?) steps on Shredder's foot]
      Shredder: OWWW!!! [Shredder grabs his foot and hops on the other, while the tortoise walks away.]
    • After Donatello got captured, and stuck in a phone booth:
      Donatello: Hey, you let me out or I'll call my lawyer!
      Rocksteady: Oh, you'll be calling alright, for mercy.
      [They wrap chains around the booth and throw him down the chute.]
      Rocksteady: So long, wimp!
      Bebop: Bye bye, bozo!
  • In "The Dimension X Story", a moment where Raphael had to open his mouth.
    Raphael: Ha! You couldn't hit me with... (eyes widened as Bebop and Rocksteady roll a monster truck-sized tire at him) ... A RUBBER TIRE! (gets nailed by it) You ever get that rundown feeling...?
  • A few moments in "The Great Cufflink Caper".
    • When the Turtles find out about the cufflink thefts.
      Donatello: Cufflinks are disappearing all over the city. But why? What could the robbers possibly want?
      Michaelangelo: (snaps fingers) I know! They want... cufflinks!
      Raphael: Can we pretend we've never met?
      Donatello: But why steal cufflinks? It's mind-boggling! It's baffling! It's-
    • When the Turtles find The Beaver's hideout.
      Leonardo: Look! The Beaver's hideout!
      Donatello: Ooh, you mean that incredibly stylish four story shopping mall?
      Leonardo: No, I mean that incredibly rundown old warehouse next to the mall!
      Michaelangelo: How come these gangster dudes alway hang out in old abandoned warehouses?
      Raphael: Because there aren't any old abandoned luxury penthouse suites.
    • The Turtles are forced to break into a mansion that is entirely pizza-themed, including the booby traps. Raphael also had to open his big mouth.
      (The Turtles dodge getting sliced into by razor-edged pizza trays)
      Michaelangelo: Killer pizza trays!? Heavy duty!
      Donatello: Boy, this guy's even more hung up over pizza than we are!
      Raphael: Yeah! What's he gonna do next? Spray us with tomato sauce? (walks by an armor suit just as the helmet opens up and... sprays him in the face with tomato sauce) Gyah! I HAD to ask.
  • "Beneath These Streets":
    Splinter: (sniffing) Someone in that building has just come from a hospital.
    April: How can you tell?
    Splinter: My keen sense of smell detects the odor of disinfectant. Also, that ambulance is double-parked in front of it.
  • "Landlord of the Flies":
    Baxter Stockman: Fire at will!
    Bebop: Yeah!... Uh, which one's Will?
    Rocksteady: I know there's a Leonardo, and a Raphael...
    Baxter Stockman: Nevermind! Just fire at all of them!
  • Shreeka's ring melting in "Shreeka's Revenge" has to be seen to be believed.
  • This instance where Shredder proudly flaunts his Card-Carrying Villain cred:
    Leonardo: Turtles, fight with honor!
    Shredder: (whipping out a laser rifle) Yes, but I fight dirty!
  • The Turtles sense the latest plot in the offing, prompting this exchange:
    Raphael: I'll bet anything Shredder's behind this!
    Michelangelo: What makes you say that, dude?
    Raphael: Well, isn't he always?


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