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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
  • In the beginning, while Splinter is lecturing the Turtles, Michelangelo can be heard in the background ordering a pizza on the phone. Initially, Splinter lets this pass, until...
    Michelangelo: (To Phone) -And no anchovies, and I mean no anchovies. You put anchovies on this thing and you're in big trouble, okay?
    Splinter: (Lobs a book at Mikey) Michelangelo!
    Michelangelo: (To phone) Uh, that'll do. And the clock's ticking, dude.
    [Leo and Don snicker.]
  • Leonardo grabs on a bike hanging on the ceiling and starts kicking the Foot ninjas which is considered a bicycle kick oddly enough. The handle breaks off, he falls and three ninjas jump on him.
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  • Donny and Mikey during "meditation", which consists of playing the song "Tequila".
    Donny and Mikey: Dan nan na... Ninjitsu!
    Mikey: Well, this is like meditating.
    Splinter: [just shakes his head.]
  • The pizza slice scene in the beginning, which has Leo slicing a pizza tossed into the air with his katanas.
    Michelangelo: (While Leonardo is slicing the pizza with his katanas) Yes, friends, the new Turbo Ginsu! Wa-hoo! It dices, it slices, and yes, it makes French fries in three different- (One slice lands on Splinter's head) Whoops!
    Splinter: Hm...kids.
  • Casey responding to Tatsu's threatening grunt with this smartass quip:
    Casey: You know, a little *pantomimes misting spray* Primatene might help clear that up. *gets punched*
  • And after Casey knocks out Tatsu with a golf driver:
    Casey: *kisses the club* I'll never call golf a dull game again.
  • When Michelangelo asks Donatello for some pizza.
    Donatello: Question.
    Michealangelo: Yeah?
    Donatello: Do you like Penicillin on your pizza?
    Michealangelo: D'oh!
    (Both start humming "Taps")
  • In Central Park, where Casey and Raph first meet and fight each other.
    Casey: (Raph has just knocked him down) New game, round-head. (Pulls out cricket bat) Cricket?
    Raph: Cricket?! Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!
    Casey: I'll teach you! (Whacks Raph with the bat, sending him headfirst into a trash can.) See? Six runs.
    • The fact that Casey even knows how Cricket is played is hysterical.
    • Earlier in the fight, when Raph catches Casey's baseball bat mid-swing.
    Raph: A Jose Canseco bat? Tell me... you didn't pay money for this.
    Casey: Ooooh... That's it! (nails Raph in the back with a second bat) It's a two-for-one sale, pal.
    • Later on, when Raph's chasing Casey down the street.
    Raph: COME BACK HERE! I'm not finished with you! (Beat, before cutting to the New York City skyline) DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
  • Mikey and Donny watch a version of The Tortoise and the Hare on TV and don't like the rabbit effortlessly winning early on.
    "Ninja-kick the damn rabbit! DO SOMETHING!"
  • Donny skateboards through a mob of the Foot, knocking a few of them around with his staff as he goes.
  • The pizza delivery. The guy from Dominos is weirded out on delivering a pizza into a storm drain, but his confusion turns to irritation when Mikey shortchanges him;
    Deliveryman: 122, 122 and eighth? 122...and an eighth. Terrific. Where the heck is "122 and an eighth"?
    Michelangelo: (From storm drain) You're standing on it, dude! (Deliveryman jumps back. Mikey sticks a bill up) Just slip it down here. (pulls the pizza down) G-gimme that!
    Deliveryman: (quickly grabs the money) Hey, this is a ten. The tab's thirteen!
    Michelangelo: You're two minutes late, dude!
    Deliveryman: Aw, c'mon, I couldn't find the place!
    Michelangelo: Wise man say, "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza!"
    Deliveryman: ...I gotta get a new route...and I thought I delivered everywhere...
  • In April's apartment, Raph and Leo are warming up for an argument.
    Mikey: Fight?
    Donnie: Fight.
    Mikey: Kitchen?
    Donnie: Kitchen.
    Mikey: Yeah.
    Mikey: Pork rind?
    Donnie: (with his mouth full) Pork rind.
    • Also, Leo doesn't seem to pay no mind Donnie and Mikey when they walk pass between him and Raph.
  • During the fight in April's apartment, Don gets his head dunked into the fish tank. When he comes up, he spits water into one Foot Soldier's face.
  • While watching April on TV, Michaelangelo swoons, "She's a BAAAAAAAABE!"
    • Also, when they first notice that the reporter is that woman they saved from being mugged, ("That's her!") Mikey pretends to kiss the screen. "Mmmwah! I'm in love!"
      • And finally when Donny tries to make a joke about Raph turning red when April thanks him on camera, he angrily throws a Sai perfectly between Don's legs very close to his "sensitive parts", which shuts him up but good.
    Don: Hey look. Nyuk-nyuk. I think he's blushing!
    Raph: I am not!
    Don: I think he's actually turning red— (Raph hurls the Sai and it lands point-first between Donnie's legs) — Err, maybe not. (Mikey simply nods, wisely staying quiet)
  • After Donnie and Casey's attempt to repair the truck in the garage.
    Donnie: It worked.
    Casey: (throws a rag at his face)
    Casey Jones: Not even close, Zip-neck. Professor and Mary Ann. Happily ever after.
    Donatello: Heh! No way, Atomic Mouth. Gilligan was her main man. They'd be married and have six kids by now.
    Casey Jones: Gilligan was a geek, Barfarooni!
    Donatello: You're the geek, Camel Breath.
    Casey Jones: Dome Head.
    Donatello: [feels his head for a bit] Elf Lips.
  • Casey getting anxious about sleeping in the sewers leads to this gem:
    Donnie: You're a claustrophobic!
    Casey: You want a fist in the mouth?
    Donnie: (defensively) Mm-mn...!
    Casey: I never even looked at another guy before!
  • When Raph tumbles over the hood of a cab in pursuit of Casey.
    Passenger: What the heck was that?
    Cabbie: Looked like sort of a big turtle, in a trench coat. You're goin' to La Guardia, right?
    • It's even funnier when you realize the passenger of the taxi is Raph's actor out of his turtle costume.
  • Casey's sarcastic "Oops!" when he switches the trash compactor the Shredder landed in on.
    • Especially considering that he has to move the lever twice to engage the compactor.
  • This dialogue:
    Mikey: (imitating James Cagney) "You dirty rat! You killed my brother! You dirty rat!"
    April: (laughing) That must be Splinter's favorite.
    (The Turtles stare at her)
    April: It was a joke!
    (Beat. Everyone laughs.)
    • Even Raph laughs at it, while earlier he just sulks around as usual while Mikey does his impressions.
  • When Splinter tells April the story of how he and the turtles came to be, at the time April is in shock and denial at the fact that she's surrounded by talking turtles and a rat. She goes as far as insist she is dreaming and interrupts Splinter's storytelling with this funny gem.
    April: Why don't I ever dream of Harrison Ford?
  • The Turtles face Shredder on the roof and get their shells kicked. Soon afterwards, the exhausted Turtles have a Huddle Shot:
    "Now... at exactly... what point... did we lose... control, here?"
  • "Are you trying to tell me how to DO MY JAAAAAAAHHHHBBBB?!"
    • Even better, before going to see Sterns, April had a crew member time her meeting with Da Chief. After the above line, it cuts to April leaving the office, and the worker notes, "1:07, a new record."
  • Raph, Don, and Mikey were playing a board game when a frantic Leo barged in and steps on the board, ruining the game, much to their aggravation.
    Raph and Mikey: Hey!
    Don: Thanks, spaz!
    Leo: Splinter's alive!
  • Mikey gets into a chuck-off which begins when one of the Foot Soldiers tries to intimidate the Turtles with his mad nunchaku skills, which Mikey sees as a challenge: "Ah! A fellow chucker, eh?" What makes this even more hilarious is that in the background Donny is like "Seriously! He's showing off nunchucks when we should be fighting the enemies?" while one of the other Foot Soldiers is like "Are they for real?" while looking at another ninja. Mikey then spins the chuks on one finger while he tells the Foot Soldier in question to keep practicing.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II

See: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

See: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

TMNT

See: TMNT


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