Tear Of Grace has done quite a few crazy videos during his time as a Youtuber so it was inevitable that there would be at least a few hilarious gems of rage, frustration and glitches amid all the craziness...
- His playthrough of Fallout 4 is only about half a dozen videos long, but the laughs didn't stop with the destruction of civilization. A few highlights:
"War...war never changes. Except for that time we dropped bombs on each other, lost our military equipment, preparation and general finesse and prowess...y'know except for that little ol' chestnut. Unless, of course, you were just referring to the part where we all kill ourselves, inwhich case you don't even need a war for that, you just need a mild mid-alley mugging. Uncle Ben's rice can attest to that."
- Tears opening narration:
Wolfgang: "Wanna make some easy money? Help me out. If things go south we'll back you up."Tear: "That's what I like to hear! Thank you very much! I mean, honest to god, I really appreciate that from you! The cooperation, theimmediate amount of trust you've put in me! I mean, that's commendable!" *beat* "STUPID." *cocks shotgun* "But it is commendable." *cue killing montage set to heavy metal with distorted visuals* "You, my good sir, just got wolf-ganged fucked! Never trust a man with a sack on his head!"
- Tear meeting up with some drug dealers asking for his help assaulting a small diner:
"I think his words were: "Please sir, can I have some more?"
- "Did you just...did you just cough on me?! The hell was th-alright, nope, I've had enough of him already. This is...this is some bullshit!" *bang* *smash*
- *deep demonic voice* "PEACE AND QUIET AT LAST."
- "Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! HHHOOOTTT!"
- "CHOOOOCOLAAAAATE!" *BOOM* "Who-" *gets shot*
- His completely irrational hate for the Brotherhood Of Steel seemingly because they dared to park an airship right next to him. In retaliation, he hunts them all down with a baseball bat and then storms the Prydwen itself, killing everyone on board.
- After killing his first brotherhood soldier:"And may they never question how he ended up halfway through the floor. I just hope they never question how the hell he ended up dead, otherwise all eyes are gonna be on me."
- At one point Tear sneaks up on a freaking Brotherhood Knight-Captain and smacks them so hard with his bat that they go flying off into the distance...and then walk back to their post like nothing is wrong, all while staring at Tear's character HOLDING A BLOODY BASEBALL BAT. Tear then hits them a few more times to finish them off, including breaking a piece of their armor, and they just stand there until dropping dead from the blunt force trauma that apparently came from nowhere.
"Dear lord, nuclear wasteland Negan is immortal!
- While clearing out Gunner H.Q. Tear decides to breach the main news room with a Fat Man. The resulting explosion causes gibs to fly around the room and land everywhere, including on the crotch of a man in his underwear.
- When Tear begins phase two of his assault on the Brotherhood he gets swarmed by a squad of soldiers shooting enough laser weapons to put on a fireworks show and promptly closes the door...right on someone's foot.
- "You've been caught stealing the owner is now hostile. Yes, because they were all hugs and kisses a second ago."
- "No Nuka Cola in the machine? These guys are Hitler!"
- "You really are quite the mess, officer."
- While out exploring the wasteland Tear comes across a trapped Sentry Bot and begins attacking it, thinking it'll be an easy kill. Then the thing hits him through the side of its container and forces him to break out his Gauss Rifle to destroy. As soon as its down he then gets bitten on the ass by a Legendary Rabid Mongrel. Poor Tear just can't catch a break.
- At one point Tear is forced to fire a Fat Man at point blank range...and somehow survives it with only a few scratches.
"Uh, did you just take some of my future loot?! Oh that is-that is it, I'm fucking done with you!" *cue beatdown and Tear throwing the guy's head into a burning trashcan*
- While fighting with the Gunner Lieutenant in Vault 95 Tear is having fun mocking him and toying with him...right up until the guy runs over to a bag and grabs something out of it.
Child Of Atom: "You. I suggest you go no further. Acadia is a nest of snakes. Beasts that subvert the will of Atom."Tear: "Are you, the person who has lost most of their hair, wearing rags and machines...trying to convince me that you're the sane and sensible one? The moment I'm out of this dialogue I'm shooting you in the face!" *cut to tear doing just that* "I'm taking all your shit just to prove a point and I'm gonna wiggle your ass around a bit just to remind you that you are the butt of my jokes!
- While looting a house Tear comes across a goo pile with a short assault rifle next to it and has a brief moment of sadness that he was probably supposed to defend the place and failed...and then the family who lives there shows up alive and well, causing tear to wonder just what the hell happened.
- "Corpse of my son, could you direct me to the exit, I'm a little bit new around here."
- While trying to relearn the controls after taking a break from the game for a while Tear accidentally kills a man by throwing a bottlecap mine in the middle of the street.
- *while chasing Old Longfellow* "I want your coat. You will be the first person I kill for a new set of clothes. I want your coat. He ain't gonna last long."
- Tear's first encounter with a Child Of Atom:
Di MA: "Tell me, what is the first thing you can remember?"Tear: "The insatiable urge to get bitches and riches."
- Tear meeting Di MA:
"Well, this isn't creepy at all..."
- Near the end of his first Far Harbor video Tear momentarily loses his mind and just goes crazy with mods, summoning a deathclaw, a super mutant, a synth gorilla and LIBERTY PRIME!
- After going to the trouble of stealing Old Longfellow's coat in the previous episode Tear decides to swap it out for a bathrobe he found at a spa infested with super mutants. A shot time later he comes across a trapper with a lobster trap helmet and decides to replace his head sack with it. The resulting combination of clothes was so good it became the thumbnail for the episode.
- In his rush to take refuge in one of the Polowski Preservation Shelters Tear comes face to face with a mannequin placed inside.
*whacks the skeleton with his bat* "Know you place bitch!" *skeleton fixes itself* "You ain't nothing but a-oh god! Fuck me, that actually creeped me out! Jesus Christ!"
- After having his game crash on him twice Tears reloads it and notes that the third time's the charm, turns around...and the game immediately crashes on him.
- Tear finds a skeleton that appears to be staring at him and...
Sonic Adventure DX
- His playthrough of Sonic Adventure DX is full of these, naturally.
*cackles madly, his first word punctuated with an explosion* "AAH! ... had the face of a man who's trying to eat a really big burger, that's true terror!"
- Tear is quickly reduced to hysterics upon seeing and hearing Sonic's infamous 'AAAH!' in the cutscene where Tails' plane crashes.
Sonic: Hey, I'll play with you some other time!Tear: Sonic, this is the man that in-intends to end the world, and you'll play with him some other time? Will you just be the smart man and kill him? Christ, you're like Daredevil, just kill the bad guy so they don't come back!
- "Rescue Tails... What if I don't want to, though?"
- "Did I just clip through Free Willy? I feel like I just clipped through Free Willy!"
- After beating the first boss:
"Tails... *sees the Chaos Emerald get nabbed* WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Seconds ago (Eggman) said "Those Chaos Emeralds, I will take them from you by force." I beat him in a boss battle and you walk up, present it to him on a plate and he takes it and now he's gonna fly off! Tails, YOU'VE DONE NOTHING GOOD FOR ME SO FAR!! YOU FUCKING MORON!!!
- His reaction straight afterwards, when Robotnik/Eggman takes the Chaos Emerald from Tails.
Is he motioning to suck a dick? 'Scuse me. Pause the cutscene! Was Eggman... just motioning... to suck a dick? ... I think he was. And if he wasn't, that's how I'm going to interpretate it!
- Eggman's odd gesturing catches Tear's eye
Sonic: Somethin' buggin' you?Tear: *laughing* Wha?! Yes, something's bugging me! Your weird mouth that looked like you were chewing on a fucking gobstopper!
- Pretty much every time he makes a comment on Sonic's weird, rubbery facial animations every time he talks in an in-game cutscene.
- The episodes intro uses that part, with Sonic's mouth movements synched up to Surfing Bird. Then it's quickly replaced by loud death metal.
Tear: OK, Knuckles...Knuckles: *With a caption reading "ACTUAL AUDIO"* Oh no.Tear: *laughs for nearly 10 seconds straight* My God! *thud, then a high-pitched squeal* OK, I w... *devolves into laughter again. He tries to compose himself and fails* ... wasn't prepared for that! Fucking finally... find the thing I'm meant to do... I think "I'll get the first cheap hit in before I get a ring... fucking hit him, 'oh no.'
- Tear lands one hit in on Knuckles, and Knuckles' reaction to being hit pretty much leaves him paralyzed by laughter.
Amy: Sonic! Wait up!Tear: Oh, it's Amy with a little... bird...Amy: Long time no see!Tear: Would have been nice if we kept it that way. What's with the bird?Amy: What's wrong with you, anyway?Tear: Bad face animation, bad voice acting... mmm, bad writing. Many things, really. The game's good, though.Sonic *doing his weird explody face again*: You must be kidding!Tear:Well, there's the face animation I was talking about. Look at it, this is Nightmare Fuel!
- The third part almost immediately begins with Sonic being confronted by Amy.
Sonic: I'll cut 'em off at the Mystic Ruins!Tear: Ah, yes! Because that's the direction of the Mystic Ruins as we look that way and the train goes the other way! ... WHAT?!?!
- Amy gets chased off by the robot through the train tunnel, off the right side of the screen.
Tear: WOAH! What the fucking Christ happened there?
- After Sonic obtains the Light Speed Attack ability, the camera ROYALLY spazzes out for a moment, complete with Scatman music.
Tails: There's no landing gear in this mode.Tear: Then change the mode. Change the mode! Tails, turn the plane around and make another run-in! CHANGE THE MO- *BOOM!**Cut to two tombstones from an earlier level, with a sign in front of them reading "ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS CHANGE THE DAMN MODE CJ"*
- The episode's ending, where Tails crash-lands the Tornado onto the Egg Carrier.
Tear: It wasn't on number 4 at all, it was *Sees Tails set off the rocket* T-Tails?! I - guh - '''*The next part of the level instantly loads after a split second loading screen. Tear bursts into laughter*'''Tear: Tails... somehow, just stole my thunder. I dunno if there was a cutscene to go with that, I don't know what the fuck just happened, all I know is Tails went off into the rocket, he fucked off into the rocket, and next thing I know, I'm somewhere else. I *cracks up again* Well... t-thank you very much. You've got two tails, but er... no-no concept of sharing. Cheers!
- The next part has Tear playing through the Sky Deck level. At the point where Sonic's meant to set off a rocket to blow something up, Tails runs in and does it instead, leaving Tear in stitches
Tear: Something just flew off at light speed while Tails descen- *Tails vanishes* .... 'scuse me. Dissa-*Tails drops back into view, complete with Freefalling playing in the background*Tear: ...R Eappears! Can I even finish what I'm saying about you be- *Tails vanishes again* -FORE you do something el-*Tails drops down again*Tear: WHAT THE F... *chuckles* Tails, you've got to - we need to have a goddamn intervention about this shit! You can't just abuse your powers, you're gonna be like Flash! *Tails vanishes and drops back in during that statement* STOP FUCKING UP THE TIMELINE!
- The entire segment where Tails keeps randomly dropping into the level, walks sideways along a platform, vanishes, and then repeats.
Tear: If I stay here... on this ladder... Tails will forever and always... fall down, from nowhere, land on there, Moonwalk for a bit, disappear, and do it again forever. Ground Tails Day. That's it. He's going to be doing this for Miles!
- Followed up by Tear summing up the whole situation:
Tear: Whatever will- No! *Drops from the crane, lands on the floor, then falls through it*. What?! WOAH! HEY! NO!! 'SCUSE ME! THAT! WAS! A SOLID WALL AND FLOOR! THAT IS NOT OK!! I JUST GOT THAT LIFE AND YOU TOOK IT FROM ME! I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING! NO! STOP!!! ..... STOP EVERYTHING!!! That is not OK! I stayed ON the crane roundabout, I did my ring a ring of rosie, pocketfull of bullshit, and I ju- let go at the wrong time, fair enough, that's my bad. I just fall through the fucking floor?! HOW?!?! ... was a perfectly good floor. That was a PERFECTLY good floor! Enough to house a turret that was about to shoot me, and no, what happens? Sonic falls through! How? I'll be fucked if I actually know! Goddamnit, now I've got to do all that again, which will take 10 seconds cause I stalled for 5 cause Brett needs fucking comedy to drag out, apparently!
- Sonic swings around on a crane, and falls from it mid-swing. He lands back on the surface, and then falls through the floor where a turrent enemy is. Tear doesn't take it well.
Tear: Just doing the Moonwalk again. Hm, one of these days, know what he'll do with this habit? He'll Beat It. He's actually just stuck in limbo, and now he's fucking the wall!
- Tails gets stuck against a wall, causing him to go weird once again. Tear takes notice.
Tear: What is this wall?! And why does it have its own skybox - *moves around and finds that its a reflection* Wait, what? What is it? Is it a reflection? That supposed to be a reflection and I've seen the face of a dying Koopa! Of course! Inkblot test - is Brett insane? Most definitely!
- Tear notices something in the middle of an area which he thinks is a solid wall, and he sees what he describes as having the face of Lemmy Koopa, with one black eye and a half-grin on his face. He then finds out that its a reflective surface.
Eggman: GAMMA!!!Tear: Pfft... what the hell, what the HELL was that? Just fucking pure rage... GAMMA!!!
- Tear gets a chuckle out of Eggman screaming out for Gamma.
Eggman: I can't believe this!Tear: HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IT HAPPENED FOUR TIMES?! You've got the goddamned memory of a goldfish? Jesus Christ, has your egg hatched? Is your brain functioning?Eggman *At the start of the next cutscene*: No way! I can't believe this!Tear: OH MY GOD!! THE SAME LINE OF DIALOGUE IN A CUTSCENE!Eggman: I CAN'T BELIEVE-
- During the boss battle with Chaos, Eggman keeps yelling out "No way! I can't believe this!" every time Chaos takes a hit. It starts to get on Tear's nerves
Tear *As Sonic falls*: Oooohhh nooooooo....Sonic: *lands on the ground and flattens up in a cartoony fashion. He jumps back up and shakes himself off*Tear: ... did I just get flattened?Sonic: Aarrgh! I hate Eggman!Tear: Pfft... Th-th... That would be my reaction too, when flinging myself off of the Egg Carrier several hundred thousand feet, and becoming Paper Sonic for just a moment. Yes. My reaction too would be "Man, I hate that fellow. What an absolute spiffing good day. It isn't as if every single one of my internal organs just became the paper maché!"
- When Sonic falls from the Egg Carrier and lands in the Mystic Ruins:
Tear: Hm? Giant vibrating temple after falling all that time, and landing and surviving, and hm? HM?!?! IF I DID EVEN A FRACTION OF THE THINGS YOU DID, PRETTY SURE MY REACTION WOULD BE A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN HM!! GOD, if I were you I'd be Sonic Advent-SURE to at least appreciate this shit that happens to me!Sonic: Now THIS is more like it!Tear: SHUT UP!!!!!!!! *an explosion consumes the screen, leaving behind a skeleton*
- The Ruins start rising up, prompting a half-hearted 'Hm?' from Sonic.
- Tear's playthrough of Sonic...06. Yes, the worst Sonic game ever (and one of the worst games PERIOD)which started up his whole Sonic series and led to him trying other titles in the franchise.
"Ah no...! Ah! AH NO! Auuugggghhhhh!"
- At only five seconds in Tear realizes the horror he has set up for himself and proceeds to have a mental breakdown...at the TITLE SCREEN.
Old Man: "But, there is no one that can test the full potential of these shores! Is there anyone who can test the design of these shoes?"Tear: "I'm jus-I'm just gonna have to weigh it down to you speaking like ya don't know english. I mean, you just keep saying the same words over and over and over again and that motion with your mouth has me thinking that you're eatin' some nice taffy."
- The glitching hits as soon as Tear begins and shows just what kind of hell is still to come for the poor bastard. In this case, its barrels appearing out of thin air and tails somehow running up the side of one while it rolls.
- As bad as the glitches are the writing and animation isn't much better.
Princess Elise: "I'm so happy!"Tear: "SHUT UP.
- Sonic clipping right through the ground into oblivion...while Goofy's falling scream is used in the background.
- Even completing a level has Tear in bad spirits:
Captain: "You guessed it, I'm the captain."Tear: "This game is a piece of shit!"
- Tear getting the shit kicked out of him by Silver while freaking ONE WINGED ANGEL plays in the background.
- After being sent on a wild goose chase Tear finally finds the captain he was looking for and loses his mind.
- At the very end of the first episode Tear promises to stick with the game until the bitter end if the fans want it. They did, so he does.
- Episode 2 begins on a high note:"There's no loading screen! Holy shit! And he's got a pokedex!"
"I know this is a hologram Eggman, but do you think you could move your lips in any of this? I know lip-syncing is hard, but christ." *the "pokedex" floats from Sonic to Knuckles* "What?! That just fucking floated! He didn't throw it, it just levitated to his fucking hand when he butted around with his stupid fucking mitten hands! THIS WAS PROFESSIONALLY MADE?!"
- Then things immediately go south:
"You're not even trying anymore."
- After positioning Sonic on the side of a searchlight several feet above the ground:
"Excuse me? What the fuck? You have a time machine and you've only used it to get rid of people instead of I don't know, go back and place all your fucking bets on the lottery and win a million?! You could go back to the birth of the fucking Chaos Emeralds and pick them up form there! You have a fucking time machine! Why do you need mine?!"
- Tear finding out Eggman has a time machine:
"Whoah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" *singing* "I'm having a waking nightmare...I'm seeing colors in the sky..." *Knuckles falls through the wall* "Oh! Oh my god! I-what the fuck?! I went through the wall! Ah. Ah ha ha. Ah. Oh. They sold this for money."
- While trying to get Knuckles through a cave the game just plain stops caring and spazzes out, killing Knuckles in the process.
"The level kills you!"
- About halfway through the video tears finds a nasty surprise in the form of a bumper that launches Knuckles straight into an eruption of flame.
- After two episodes of dissing everything about the game Tear finally comes across something he likes: A reflective building surface.
- The fun continues in episode 3 with Tear dying several times and Sonic flying through the air upside down in just the first few minutes.
Elise: *falls backwards*Tear: "Is she just gonna kill herself?" *Sonic shows up at the last second to catch her* "I want to play a version of this game where Sonic wasn't there."
- Tear's reaction to Elise's "gutsy move" to escape Eggman:
Sonic: "That was a gutsy move back there."Tear: *bursts out laughing* "Are you fucking kidding me with that Sonic, with your wonky eyelids right now? The response you give to someone who was quite willing to end their own life right there by falling head first into ground? "That was a risky move!" He says with a gutsy thumbs up and a fucking wonky eyelid! I actually wish I were dead!"
- Shortly after the above moment we get this:
Tear: "Overcome the test of love...alright." *immediately runs for the exit while sad music plays*
- Tear coming across a bridge that appears and disappears at random. Then getting closer and noticing that it doesn't even have any kind of support keeping it in place.
- "She doesn't even have any features rendered. She's just a pale blob. What is her face? That is nightmare fuel!"
- While attempting to exit the level he is playing Tear brings Tails to a small village area outside the map. Surprised that the place even exists at all he begins exploring...and immediately falls through a house to his death in the ocean below. All he can do is laugh as it happens.
- Tear getting into a race with a Sonic fan NPC who runs exactly the way Sonic does despite being human. It really must be seen to be believed.
- Tear's reaction to the final trial:
Priest: "You have done well. Now, let that eagle carry you."Tear: "Are you fucking serious right now?" *eagle carries Sonic to a slightly higher platform while epic music plays then abruptly drops him* "Yeah...yeah, alright. Yeah sure. The religious fucking people summoned a bird of pray."
- Also Tears reaction to his victory over the trials:
Sonic: "Man! Today's not my day!"Tear: "Nor is it mine, Sonic."
- "I'm gonna get that extra life if its the last thing I fucking do!" *grabs it, but goes too far and falls off the edge*
- This exchange after Tear gets a D rank on one of the levels:
- Episode 4 lets everyone know what is in store right from the very beginning with Tear's introduction set to game show music:"It's time for more of the most broken game on planet earth. What do we thinks gonna be behind door number one? An infinite amount of glitches that inhibit your ability to progress? TWO! A bunch of awkward, inconsistent names and dialogue? OR THREE! Levels that are poorly made, bad and shouldn't have been released? I'm gonna pick all of the above for 500, Jim. AHHHHHHHHH!" *win sirens*
"Playing as Silver is. Just. So. Bad. I can't describe it. It's like trying to ride a bike with the handlebars INSIDE YOUR ASSHOLE!"
- Tear thought Sonic, Knuckles and Tails were bad to play as...then comes across Silver, who is infinitely worse.
Computer Voice: "Thrust increasing."
- "I have been defeated by a curb."
- After being forced to restart and lose nearly an hour of progress right next to a check point Tear begins screaming that Eggman kill Elise just so that the game can end. A few minutes later Eggman's ship randomly breaks and crashes, killing them both.
- Tear finding a way to make Knuckles appear to hump the wall which is made funnier by what happens immediately afterwards:
Tear: "Why are we in the Windows Vista land again? And how are they laughing that off? You just killed a man, almost died yourself."Sonic: "Nice smile!"Tear: "That's creepy..."Sonic: *winks at Elise*Tear: "That's creepier..."Elise: *winks back at Sonic*Tear: "And that's disgusting."
- After Sonic finally defeats Eggman he attempts to escape in a small ship, which breaks down just like his main airship and EJECTS the driver's seat out with Eggman still on it, causing him to fall to his death while Tear (and likely the viewer as well) laughs his ass off.
- Tear's reaction to the end of Sonic's campaign:
- Episode 5 picks up after Sonic's campaign ended. The game is still broken beyond all reason. Tear is now playing as Shadow, who is well known for his edge:*the game opens to an army of robots as an air raid siren blares in the background*Tear: "What... on earth is this Disturbed Indestructible bullshit?" *plays a brief clip of the song in question as the robots open fire on Shadow*
Tear: "I went through a warp hole and suddenly Shadow got a sex change, a species alteration and some fucking sick make up! I go through a warp hole and suddenly I'm just Rougethebat! I can't deal with this shit!"
- This is followed by Tear going through a warp hole as Shadow and inexplicably turning into Rouge:
Tear: "An entire tower... I don't even, no no r- *SLAM*Shadow: "NOOOOO!"Tear: "Nevermind!"
- Rouge the bat literally can't seem to stay still, just the slightest of movements and she's glitching outside of a moving vehicle, desperately trying to hump a cliff side into oblivion or just spazzing out in one spot. It's beautiful.
- Sonic 06 is such a bad game that even doing well on a level won't save you when the game decides to screw the player over.
Mephilis: "What you gave to me, I now return to you! A one way ticket to oblivion!"Tear: "And that's the point Shadow stood still... and let it happen." *pop* *pop* "Oh, in one frame they disa- *pop* ha... ha ha... ha ha ha ha hah! That's... I think its safe to say most of their budget disappeared. So, Shadow's shadow made another shadow and then Shadow's shadow sent me to the shadow realm." *music plays as the camera zooms in on Shadow with other Shadows in his eyes*
- "You! Don't! Have! A! Mouth!"
- This exchange:
Middle-aged Woman: "That Network shop in front of the clock tower is nice, isn't it? I like being able to buy things without having to talk to anyone."Tear: "Well, aren't you a bitch!"
- Tear is nothing if not blunt:
- Episode 6 is where Tear begins using the clickbait thumbnail parodies of Rouge the bat having enormous boobs. They start out fairly large and eventually get so over the top that it isn't even remotely sexy, just hysterical. And then seeing Tear finding a way to one-up himself when the next video comes out.
- Tear making Shadow stand on the side of a large round ball as it rolls off the edge of the highway. Its like the sideways crate gag from the first episode, but even more physics breaking.
- The mission success screen where the player can still control their character, leading to the image of Rouge burning alive in a lava pit while the game gives the player their score and transitions to the next level.
- Shadow's suicide via train. Tear has already had enough of this game to last him for a lifetime and he's only about halfway through his playthrough.
- "It's a rather nice city!" *falls off edge and dies*
- With Episode 7 Tear is now halfway through the game and things can't get much worse... right?
Tear: "That's perfect! No, let's have a situation where if you get caught once you will get caught again unless you're dead. MMMHHH MMMMMMMMMMHHHHHH!"
- "Oh no, she's been hentai-fingered again." Tear really couldn't care less about saving Elise at this point, not that anyone could blame him.
- As bad as Silver was to play as, he's EVEN WORSE as a boss fight.
- What make the whole thing even better is how Silver will grab the player DURING their immunity frames and then wait until the immunity frames WEAR OFF before hurting them again. Oh, and the whole time Silver is screaming "It's no use!" over and over at the top of his lungs.
Tear: "WHOA! Well, see you in outer space fella."
- At one point Tear comes across one of the demonic lava lizard things... trying to ride a piece of railing.
- "And then I turn around and remember... this is the game!" *laughs* "Sideways worm and a bunch of floating balls. Yeah, alright."
- *to a NPC with his head face down on the table* "Yeah you, yeah Mr. Black Man? That's exactly how I feel, only minus Rougethebat standing on your head. If you'd flip your head the other way around... uh, it might improve your mood."
- Tear lightly crashing into a monster with his vehicle somehow sending it flying into the stratosphere.
Tear: "Wow! Uh, I don't know what the game's gonna do now, I'm not even really sure if they bothered to add collision to these things. Are we gonna keep going? Oh please! Ohhh, so this is Christmas! Ha ha! Whuh. Ha ha ha! Everything that could break, did break. So now I'm just in my snowglobe of a skybox... floating forever. Little did we know that the solution to all of Shadow's problems was in his hovercar. Ha ha. I'm slightly dying. Okaaay, yeah. I don't know how this happened but I'm very glad that it did."
- Not a minute after the above incident the monster get their revenge and send Tear slowing flying over the distant horizon. He doesn't seem too bothered by it though.
- Episode 8 ends Shadow's saga, but not poor Tear's misery.
"You know what you can do? Sonic 06? You can just keep on existing cause I'm gonna play the rest of you because its shit like that, that's the reason I play you. You fucking stupid, CONVOLUTED GARBAGE."
- Tear fooling around with the hovercraft. He calls it the best vehicle in the game and not a minute later he's sterring upside down on the ground. It's glorious just how poorly made the "good" parts of the game are.
- Tear's Bait-and-Switch Comment on the game:
Rouge: "I t's destroyed!"Tear: "It's destroyed! With the space between the I and the t!" *camera zooms in* "EVEN THE SUBTITLES BREAK IF WE TRY!"
- Tear getting more distracted by and going on a rant about a giant random fossil rather than a spike trap with the floating spikes visible inside the side of it.
- Tear kills the Big Bad again but has the moment ruined by the victory cutscene.
"Well... we did it. We beat the Shadow campaign. Which means we're just left with this guy now. I have heard nothing good about this campaign." *camera zooms in on Silver's face as scare cords echo in the background*
- The horrifying realization Tear has at the end of the episode when he realizes whats in store for him next:
- "Last save time: 2005? Apparently its me with the real ability to time travel. Ah fuck."
- Episode 9 marks the beginning of the end. Unfortunately, even with most of the game behind him Tear still has several more trials to face before he is finally done with Sonic 06.
Silver: "Blaze! What's wrong?"Blaze: "He's appeared again."Tear: "She says, so casually, as if it were just the mailboy putting it in the wrong hole. I don't even mean it like that! Don't even take it that way! That was- that was on you, it wasn't me, it was you!"
- The opening cutscene gives everyone a good glimpse of what they're in for:
Mephilis: "I have the power to travel though time."Silver: "No way!"Tear: *bursts out laughing* "This was fucking written by someone who thought "No, its fine, we'll release it!" The hero of the story who saves everything and everyone..." *laughs* "Fucking mind of a child." *mockingly* "NOOO WAAAAY!!!" *laughs again* "Oh, this game's awful. What's happening here?"Silver: *excited* "I see it!"Tear: *breaks down laughing again*
- Barely a minute in and Silver is already vibrating in place while Blaze is spinning around like she's caught in a tornado.
- Tear killing Blaze by making her fall off a ledge into lava only to have her respawn, die again immediately and then lay there on the ground dead while Tear plays sad music.
- Shorty after that he watches Blaze fall to her death AGAIN and then he kills Silver.
- The bad writing showcased in both Sonic and Knuckles campaigns comes out in full force during Silver's story.
Blaze: "Can't complain."Tear: "That's your response to getting an S? Can't com- this bitch ain't easily pleased. You could go down on her for a fuckin' week, do all the goddamn tongue gymnastics and she still wouldn't pat you on the back for it! Jesus."
- Getting an S rank on a level is apparently no big deal for Blaze:
Tear:"Wait, you're doing an inner monologue! But the screen didn't go black and white! Shadow got that, that's discrimination!"Amy: *grabs Silver* "Now I've got you Sonic!"Tear: "How does everyone get every hedgehog mixed up with every other one? HE'S THE WRONG COLOR, AMY. *5 seconds ago* "THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!"
- Tear's reaction to Silver talking to himself while stalking Sonic:
- Tear finds a man who he assumes is the town drunk passed out on an upstairs balcony. Then notices that the balcony doesn't even have a door, which means this guy has to climb through the window if he wants to go back inside his house. The developers really, honestly, didn't care.
- Episode 10 continues the insanity with Silver. Will Tear's sanity continue to hold out until the end? Probably not..."No! No! Noo-ah! I forgot I was playing him."
Amy: "If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!"Tear: "What th- that's not the line of a good guy! Is she gonna get a spin-off where she goes psychopathic and kills everyone to bring Sonic back from the grave? That's a game I'll pay for! Amy versus everyone! Fucking shit and gettin' bitches! I'd play that game! I'd play it a lot more than the werewolf one! I just want an Amy game where she kills everything!"
- Amy turning invisible. For some reason not only does her shadow remain but when she attacks her hammer becomes visible as well.
- Due to the A.I. being so awful Tear is able to clear an entire room without landing a single hit. By jumping up in the air near a large hole he lures several enemies into rolling right off the edge one right after the other. Then he finds one upside down that can only roll in place while hovering helplessly in the air.
- Amy's love for Sonic knows no bounds, leading to this hilarious bit of dialogue.
Tear: "Oh... oh. Oh no. On not again. Elise kidnapped... for the fifteen-hundredth fucking time as her shadow slowly scrolls in! You couldn't even get the cutscenes right. Hey you found her again!"Eggman: "Finally. I've been waiting so patiently for you to return, princess."Tear: "Just put her in a locked room for Christ's sake! Do you understand how that works?!"
- Elise managing to escape from her cell and get back to the city in a single cutscene. How does she do it? She opens the unlocked door, follows Amy down a hallway... and then the game cuts to them back at the city like they had just gone for a walk or something.
- This is immediately followed by her getting kidnapped YET AGAIN by Eggman about a minute later.
"Oh my god I broke the hub world. Oh, I can see underneath it now! Ohhh. Ohhhhh okay."
- While standing next to an enemy breathing fire at him the enemy is suddenly killed... by another similar creature breathing fire on it! Sadly, Tear miss the chance to make a friendly fire joke because he's too busy laughing.
- The entire flashback scene where Elise's father puts the Iblis flames inside her is so filled with Fridge Logic that Tear has a field day with it.
- The three boats in one glitch near the end of the episode. What makes it so funny is that there isn't any build up or foreshadowing. The scene just cuts to Silver and Blaze riding inside three boats at once... or trying to ride in Blaze's case.
- "Hey there Delilah, what's it like in Chaos City? Are the physics really bad and the graphics really shitty? Fuckin' A!"
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War
- The hotly anticipated sequel to Tear's Shadow of Mordor series starts with Tear getting excited about the game being difficult enough that he won't have to handicap himself for a proper challenge. Over the course of the first part, he gets murdered by a random mook while a level 15 Captain watches, bailed out by a Gondorian sergeant when the promoted mook has him on his knees, killed by another mook soon after, ambushed by the Captain from the tutorial level that introduces Captains, and kill-stolen by Idril.
- Part 2 has Tear meeting a far more powerful Captain named - you guessed it - Prâk. Tear is so incensed by this nobody bearing the name of his most infamous Nemesis that he chases him down instead of the grunt who killed him. By the way, said grunt said "Here comes the pain!" before killing Tear. Guess whose theme music plays before the final blow.
Tear: What is that - WHAT ON EARTH is that ability?!
- Prâk the Twisted takes out the Terror Tribe's chain whips in his second fight with Tear. Tear sounds more than impressed by what he sees.
Tear: (Towards Celebrimbor) You just knocked down Sauron like he was nothing. Like he was a tower of Jenga blocks. How did you lose?(Celebrimbor's ring falls off his hand)Tear: Oh yeah...because you didn't tighten your grip. You didn't ball up your hand to make a fist. That's literally why you lost. Damn, you're stupid.
- While rewatching Celebrimbor's near-victory against Sauron:
- In Part 3, Tear faces off against a Drake and doesn't seem too confident in his chances, saying "I'm going to really, really fuck it up emotionally at least!" right before Talion slices off its head.
- The second fight Tear faces in the arena is none other than Prâk...the Twisted. Tear is once again furious with this "imposter" and even puts up a special end card with FRAUD stamped over Prâk's image.
- Part 4 begins with Tear dispatching a measly level 4 Captain...then Ûkrom Blood-Storm comes out of the gates and makes Tear freak the hell out.Tear: NNNNNNNNNNNNOPE. I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT ONE. BYE.(Tear dashes off, complete with cartoony thwip sound)
Tear: Well, we can only hope, right?! Maybe this is the thing that kills ya!(Tear flings a hammer at a grog barrel. The Champion is nowhere near its blast radius.)Tear: OH WELL THAT WASN'T EVEN FUCKING CLOSE ENOUGH.
- After the Champion monologues about putting an end to unfinished business:
- As if that wasn't enough, the Champion starts flinging poison bombs at Talion shortly after, prompting Tear to scream that he's a "poison-spamming arsehole".
Tear: I'm going with my fucking original plan! I am FLOODING the arena with these fucking things, and they can fight for me! COME ON, DOGGY! MY MONEY'S ON YOU!( Ûkrom pins a Caragor to the ground and beats it to death with his shield.)Tear: GOD. DAMMIT.
- Things go from worse to even worse when it turns out Ûkrom is now enraged by injury. Tear says that he's pretty much got no hope of beating him now.
- Desperate and seeing no way of putting down his opponent, Tear gets a bright idea: free a Caragor and have it kill the Champion. Tear ends up losing the last of his health as soon as he frees the big cat and it steals the kill from the Champion. Tear is not very amused by this turn of events.
- After dying a second time:
Tear: You've visited my graves more times than I care to mention, but not once have you taken a trip to the optician!
- After Tear drains one of the Champion's minions while he's only a few feet away:
- Tear finally does in his Shadow of Mordor Nemesis...but he releases a bunch of poison bombs on death as one last fuck-you.
- Tear tries to absorb health from an Orc and implores a nearby Gondorian to keep anyone from hitting him. He then gets torched from off-screen by a Drake's fire breath.
- After spending four hours doing errands for people he could not give less of a shit about, Tear finally gets his ring back from Shelob. His excitement is positively Gollum-like. No seriously, he does one hell of a Gollum impression.
- In Part 7, Tear finally finds a captain with a weakness he can exploit, and then a drake comes in to ruin his fun.
Grunt: You see that Orc?Tear: What the-Grunt: He's so lazy he can't even be bothered to taunt you!Tear: Wha-Grunt: Instead, I have to do it! So here goes: you're ugly and you're gonna die!Tear: Oh my god are you fucking se - if I had an arrow it would be in you by now you cheeky bastard.
- While facing off against Prâk the Handsome, Tear accidentally tries to drain another captain, who then tackles him, punches him in the face, and taunts him before walking away. The captain's name? Shaká the Swift.
- Tear tries to kill Olrok Dead Killer before he can introduce himself. Olrok never introduces himself...because he gets some random grunt to do the work for him.
Tear: OW. YOU BASTARD, MY BACK WAS TURNED.
- Tear takes a moment to admire Ghash the Warlock's striking appearance. A Hunter takes this opportunity to literally stab him in the back.
Tear: Enjoy the slow, agonizing, bloody, burning sensation across your whole body. God, that was a night-(Tear notices the ground underneath him lighting up right before a drake appears)Tear: OH, WHY DID I SAY BURNING
- After slicing off Shaká the Swift's arms, Tear takes a moment to outline the horrible pain of his final moments.
Tear: He's my bodyguard? Th-th-th-the boy who called me a coward. There's some real psychological warfare going right now and I feel like I'm the biggest fucking victim.
- Tear's first recruit is, in Tear's own words, a liar, a fool, and a coward. Shortly after, Brûz shows up out of nowhere (scaring Tear out of his wits) and invites him to make his recent convert a bodyguard.
- The video ends with Tear getting shot by Gubu the Jaded, who doesn't even feel happy about killing him. Tear expresses mock-sadness and says that he "really left a mark, man". Then a gun comes in from the left, Talion comes out of the barrel, confetti rains down, and children cheer, celebrating one of Tear's many horrendous puns.
- In Part 10, Hûra the Obsessed goes on about Talion's gorgeousness while muffled Careless Whisper plays in the distance.
Tear: By injury! Of course! Agh, a splinter! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- After Hûra fills Talion up (with arrows), Talion snidely remarks that the war against Sauron is a battle of inches. Tear immediately connects it to Hûra's raging...passion for our hero.
- Skûn the Serpent gets enraged by an injury. Tear imitates his reaction a bit too well.
- And then he finds out he accidentally enraged him further by bringing a Caragor into the fight. And then it turns out Mozû Skin-Chewer is enraged by everything.
- After killing Ûkbûk the Smasher, Tear gleefully notes that he partnered up with Hûra and dropped a ring on his death. He suspects that Hûra was going to propose to him, with Ûkbûk as his best man.
- Tear summons a graug, which proceeds to do nothing as Hûra shoots him full of arrows for the second time.
- How does the episode end? With Talion's face shittily photoshopped over a bride's and Hûra standing beside him with a massive shrak-eating grin on his face.
- Near the end of Episode 11, Tear had finished dealing with a particularly deadly warchief and chased down a coward Orc who was running from him. Literally about 3 seconds after he killed said coward, a new Captain, the aforementioned Orc's Blood Brother, knocks Tear down in an ambush. In fact, he interrupts him in the middle of his usual Bond One-Liner.Dûgz The Legend knocks Talion to the ground for an ambushTear: What the fuck?!? Who are you?!?
- Episode 15 deserves a REALLY special mention. Why? Ukrom is back as Ukrom The Machine.
Tear: Well, I'm glad we're finally on the same fucking page, you absolute Klondike bar! You do not fucking deserve to be on my side after this! Absolutely fuck you to the furthest reaches of Hell, you worthless shit!Flogg: So this is how the Ranger treats his soldiers. I shoulda known...Tear: Only the ones that underperform. Piss off! Tear then proceeds to cut off Flogg's arm, leg and stab him the back while's on the ground.
- Near the end of the episode, Tear attempts to have one of his Captains, Flogg Bow Master, kill the Machine. Flogg fails to do so not once, not twice, but FOUR times in a row! Tear is understandably ticked off. Seconds later, Flogg hits Tear in the back with an arrow and lights him on fire, finally pushing Tear over the edge and starts deliberately attacking Flogg, who predictably betrays him. When Flogg finally does snap and calls him out, Tear gives one hell of a retort.
- Episode 16 has some highlights:
Tear: It's like Punch-Out!! with mythical beasts.
- When Carnan is fighting Tar-Goroth he sarcastically notes how a being made of wood is gonna beat the lava monster. He also notes on seeing a volcano fighting a tree wasn't something he expected to see today
- When he finds out the balrog fight isn't just Quick Time Events
.Tear: (As his voice is getting further away) Just because I can't die doesn't mean this is okay!
- And finally when Bruz betrays him and throws him off the tower.
- All of Episode 19: After Tear tries to recruit orcs in Cirith Ungol, all of them end up betraying him. The only consolation is that he manages to recruit an Olog at the end of the episode- but said Olog is deranged, and betray him in the next episode too.
- Episode 28 is the one where Tear finally gets to Army of the Dead, AKA the one where your worst deceased enemies come back as zombies. Here are some of the highlights:
Tear: Okay... guess thanks to my new best friend and bodyguard incarnate, you were right: That was indeed the "end of the line". Any more bloody Brûz brothers are barred from entry.
- Tear is not too happy about having to kill Brûz yet another time. He's even less thrilled by the fact that the camera won't cut away from its close-up on Brûz, forcing him to watch the Olog gesticulate silently.
- He also forgets that Brûz is Death Defying, so now he has to cut him down again. For like the sixth time.
- Tear gets facerolled by Tûgog Skull-Cracker and it looks like he's about to die yet again...and then Zûgor of the Black Gate, who we should remind you talked shit about Talion's dead family, pounces on Tûgog and beats him to death.
- Upon seeing Gaz's introduction (which is accompanied with sounds like someone eating a jawbreaker and peanut butter at the same time, to go with the disturbing mouth motions), Tear notes that, technically, he's fighting Brûz, or someone who claims to be him, a seventh time.
- After wiping out everybody but Zog, Talion ends up glitching out and diagonally floating up to a nearby ledge, complete with animation like he's walking on an invisible stairway.
- Finally, after completing the mission, the game takes this moment to spawn Daz, the last of Brûz's Blood Brothers, after a mission where Tear had to kill Brûz himself and one of his other Blood Brothers.Tear: But on the very big old plus side-(Daz screams)Tear: ...what.
- And then Zûgor just beats Daz to death without much of a fight. The video ends with Brûz, Gaz, and Daz getting launched into the sun.
- When he watches Hammerfist's flashback he is completely blindsided by him going nuts and killing everyone with his fists.
- Tear is not too happy about having to kill Brûz yet another time. He's even less thrilled by the fact that the camera won't cut away from its close-up on Brûz, forcing him to watch the Olog gesticulate silently.
Getting Over It with Bennett Fondy
- The fact that Tear is even playing this game is hilarious. The fact he knows what he's getting himself into makes it even better.
Robbiematronic: Me: checks subscriptions, sees thisRobbiematronic: Me: audibly Oh no.
- This comment on episode 1.
- The entire comments section is stuffed with reactions ranging from frustration at Tear's ineptitude, declarations that This Is Gonna Suck, and of course, puns.
- Round 2 doesn't go much better:
"It's safe to say there is much regret in my heart but ah well, here we are. Ah balls."
- Just like last time Tear knows exactly what he's getting into.
Foddy: "That's a deep frustration, a real punch to the gut."Tear: "I'm gonna punch you in your goddamn nuts, never mind your gut! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
- Right at the start Tear tires of Foddy's "encouragement" immediately and tells him to shut up:
"Ha ha ha... oh I like going backwards daddy! FUCK ME UP MORE! THROW ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS BLINDFOLDED!
- Tear doesn't even last five minutes before his mind breaks completely from frustration and rage:
"I HAVE PLAYED THIS ON A DIFFERENT COMPUTER AND HAD AN EASIER TIME OF IT! Did he patch it? Did he patch it f-" (Tear falls) "Ah, well, that is just the best! You speak to me one more syllable you fucking condescending massive vaginal valley of crap I'M GONNA FIND YOU AND STICK SOMETHING IN YA!"
- Right at the halfway point Tear botches a jump and falls all the way back to the start. He takes it about as well as you'd expect:
"Oh no, no, no! Ahhh! Oh fuck! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
- Right near the end of the video Tear suffers a fall but just barely manages to grab onto a ledge before reaching the bottom. After a few seconds of fumbling he then slips anyway and falls all the way back to the beginning AGAIN.
- His Expert Mode playthrough gives this gem during the fight with Djimmi the Great.(During Djimmi's "throw a bunch of treasure at you" attack during the first stage of the fight) OK, m'boy, you're aware that you can do something other than this? Because like five times in a row, it's been THIS! (Narrowly dodges a projectile) That was exceptionally close. Sorry, I'm going for my more calm and collected method of—(is hit) HAHAHAHAHA! "Calm collected" what the fuck's that? When my health is taken away, the only thing I'm collecting is salt. (quieter) Everything's fucking internet culture. Nobody uses the expression of anger, just "salty", oh "salty", oh "salty". I AM NOT A PACK OF LAYS!
- What sells it is that he shows a bag of Lays chips on the screen right as he says the name.