Funny / Tales of Xillia 2

As Tales of Xillia 2 is a sequel to Tales of Xillia, be prepared for Late-Arrival Spoilers!

Just like the first game, Tales of Xillia 2 is filled with funny moments.

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Story Events

• One of the first dialogue options you get in the game.
  Julius: "Something bugging you?"
  > Julius, I had a dream last night that you killed me.
  Julius: "You dreamt that I killed you? Well, if you keep decimating my supply of tomato cupcakes, perhaps that dream'll come true."
• Upon first meeting Elize, the player can call her cute. This causes Elize to blush and Elle glares at you.
  • Then they're accidentally transported into a fractured dimension, thanks to Elle's power activating through her fear of thunder, Elle pretends like she isn't scared of lightning and goes the wrong way. When she gets told and runs the other way, she straight up faceplants onto the ground.
• There's just something hilarious about Ivar in 'spy sunglasses'.
  • His role of delivering Ludger's new weapons to him and acting as his training dummy. Each battle results in him limping away, while cradling his Amusing Injuries.
  • Ivar presenting the guns. He attempts to look cool and accidentally sets them off, surprising everyone, even himself.
  Ivar: "I thought the safety was on..."
  • How Ivar presents the dual guns to Ludger: Barrel first, just after they went off. You can see Ludger nervously backing off the closer Ivar gets.
• Meeting with Vera in Chapter 6, she says that Bisley Bakur only wanted to see Ludger and not the whole party. They give excuses for being there.
  Jude: "I am Ludger's friend and advisor."
  Alvin: "And I am acting guardian of these minors."
  Leia: "I'm acting guardian number two!"
  Elle: "And I'm... I'm..." (grabs hold of Rollo) "Acting guardian of this kitty!"

Character Episodes

• During Alvin's 1st Episode, Ivar gets the wrong idea when some anti-Rieze Maxian punks give the party grief and he proceeds to fight the party. After the battle, the panicked citizens begin to call the police... on Ivar, for being 'a madman swinging swords about and claiming to be an agent or something'.
• Milla's 4th Episode involves a fractured dimension where Light Spirit Aska is captured at the Laforte Research Center and is... very friendly with Jude. He should really think twice about whom he tethers with.
  • And given how Aska reacts to Jude telling him that he can't tether with him anymore, and the previous establishment of what tethering means, it comes across as a really bad break up. He even goes as far to accuse Milla of stealing Jude from him and calls her a hussy. And then you fight Aska.
  • Ludger can comment to Milla that Jude seems rather popular, to which she agrees to a tone of annoyance.
• Leia's 1st Episode has her deliver a letter to an Elympios train-guard, who asks her about Rieze Maxians and their medicine. If she had a bad case of diarrhea, would she be able to just pray and ask the spirits to clear it up or something else, even comparing it to be inferior to Elympios' medical science.
  • Her 2nd Episode has her travel to a fractured dimension, where Agria is her friend. Upon meeting her, she takes a look at Ludger and wonders who she's been picking up.
    Agria: "Huh? What's this? Is this the guy you got after Jude dumped you?!"
• Alternate Milla's 2nd Episode has her falling at the Nala Lava Tubes and the player gets a dialogue choice.
  • Letting her fall results in Elle and Alt Milla calling Ludger cold for not helping out.
  • Help her out and Alt Milla will thank you... only to punch Ludger in the face, because he is touching her breast.
• Everything about all of Muzét's Episodes.
  • 1st Episode, they want to find out Dr Nigel's whereabouts, but his student says he cannot reveal that, only for Muzét to ask for the information in exchange of letting the student... 'research' her. Naturally, Ludger quickly blocks Elle's view of this and the screen goes black with some suggestive dialogue between Muzét and the assistant. After the image returns, the student has a banana-shaped grin on his face.
    • Ludger's face the first time he reads Muzét's childish, teasing mind. Oh, Crap! does not even describe it.
  • 2nd Episode, the post-battle quote against the harpy.
    Muzet: "I'm so happy! I beat a harpy! Now you try, Gaius!"
    Gaius: "Hmpf..." (deadpan, nasally voice) "I'm so happy, I beat a harpy."
    Ludger: (snort)
    • The opening quote of the battle, too.
    Muzét: "Who Has Two Thumbs and... found a harpy?!"
    Gaius: "Muzét, you are acting strangely."
    • Muzét's reason for wanting to kill a harpy, to make hairclips for the party! It ends up turning out badly as the rest of the party is weirded out by them. So what does Muzét do? Glare at Gaius until he puts one on.
  • 3rd Episode, there's a skit where Gaius is having a serious discussion and explaining about a mission that has Rieze Maxians and Elympions co-operation... only to be completely undercut by Muzét's silly inner thoughts about focusing on Gaius' eyelashes.
    Muzét: Gaius has really long eyelashes! They're like the eyelashes of a horse! ...that reminds me, why is it a compliment to comment on the length of a human's hair or beard or eyelashes, but not their nose hair? I don't get human aesthetic sensibilities at all...
  • 4th Episode, her 'Just As Planned Rape Face' at the end. Ludger can only sigh in relief, now free from the bracelet.
• The Bonus Chapter has Maxwell admit that Milla Kresnik threatened to pull his beard, during the original creation of the Hymn of Proof. Rowen shudders at the thought.

Sidequests

• Ludger gets a request from the Four Great Spirits that they want to try the famous Gaius dumplings while they're here in the human world. Even though spirits don't need to eat food, Milla has apparently been introducing them to the pleasures of eating. Their jubilant reactions to the dumplings are priceless, as is Gaius' reaction upon witnessing people eat food based off of him.
• The 'Driselle's Crisis' job request. She has to deal with a terrifying 'nemesis' and asks Ludger, Rowen and Elize to bring her a rare type of gun, then formulates an aggressive battle strategy and demands a storm of bullets and spirit artes. Her enemy? A cockroach.
• A post-game job request has the party find a Unicorn Horn for a Lens Hunter. Specifically, for Rutee Katrea, who promises you a 'handsome sum' for the item in return. When you bring her the horn, she gives you a paltry Gald amount, which she says is a 'handsome sum' since she never stated how much it would be. Alvin isn't pleased, of course. And then Rutee realizes you found a Unicorn Horn.
  Rutee: "Wait... if you managed to actually get a Unicorn Horn, then that must mean..." (turns towards Leia) "YOU'RE A VIRGIN!!" ^note  This was a silent condition to meeting and getting a Unicorn Horn in Phantasia and Symphonia, but here it's spelled out the first time.

Skits

• Upon meeting Leia, there's a skit where Jude is pointing out her flaws with her lazy Genki Girl personality, like she's missing her deadlines, how she used to copy his homework and can't do that in this situation anymore... Ludger can say the two sound like a mother scolding her daughter or that they sound like a married couple. Pick the latter and Leia will gleefully ask if he's serious, all while beating him with her staff.
  Jude: Well, for Leia, the staff is mightier than the pen...
• Immediately after Rowen joins your party, there's a skit where Elle wonders about Rowen's position in Rieze Maxia. Upon learning that he's the prime minister and second-in-command, she talks about how those are always evil in fairytales and Leia agrees that they always try to usurp the king. Rowen, of course, chooses to play along and admits that he is carefully picking away the pieces close to the king before getting him to fall... in chess, of course.
• Shortly after having Rowen and Leia in the party, they comment on Jude's new hairstyle and Rowen takes this as evidence that Jude is 'exploring his sexy side'. Embarrassed, Jude claims he's just trying something new out. Which, according to Rowen, means 'exploring his sexy side'. And Jude merely says 'maybe'.
• Alvin and Leia getting into an argument about how she's overusing emoticons and abbreviations on her text messages to him.
  • And Leia apparently sent Alvin a picture of a frog, using it to describe her frustrations to Alvin. Given how certain websites have brought back Pepe The Frog, this adds a dash of Hilarious in Hindsight to it.
• A skit involves everyone mentioning the changed fashion from before and commenting on Muzét's new dress. Gaius reveals that it's not a dress, but her power manifested into a shape resembling of clothes, so that she is technically naked. This leads to some speculation about Milla and Alvin demanding Ludger say something about this whole thing.
  • Choosing to admit that Ludger's transformed Chromatus parts are similar and technically leave him naked, too, not only derails the conversation properly, but also wins him points with Jude and Gaius. Though they hope he's joking about that whole naked part... Alvin says it best.
    Alvin: "Nobody cares about your naked body!"
  • Choosing to admit that the technical nudity is what actually makes it even more exciting, Rowen and Alvin agree that it really gets the romantic mystery going. Jude and Gaius merely call Ludger a pervert - and in the Japanese version, state that this must be his fetish. Ludger just can't win.
• This entire Skit. Muzét begins teasing Jude about his direct-tethering with her and Gaius gets concerned, because Muzét never told him about the meaning of humans tethering with spirits. While Muzét even starts to tease Ludger about tethering with him, Gaius is concerned about 'taking responsibility as a man' about this...
• A skit during Jude's 5th Episode talks about him somehow getting drenched at the top of the waterfall, where he and Milla went. Milla is beginning to make a fuss, while Jude plays it cool and Ludger can ask what was going on up there... only for Jude to say that he can't tell you.
• A skit between Elle and Alternate Milla talking about whose cooking is better, Alt Milla's or Elle's father's. They both make this skit way way way way way way way long and even Rollo gets tired of it, giving an exasperated 'Meow'.
• The 'Lady Driselle' skit, where Elle misheard 'steward' as 'stewer' and thought Rowen was in charge of cooking stew. Ludger can either explain what a steward is or describe a steward as being dressed like a maid.
  • Picking the latter has Elle be surprised that Rowen used to wear dresses. Rowen, of course, plays along and states how he first was uncomfortable with it, but began to love wearing dresses and see himself as beautiful. Elle is surprised, Ludger shocked that Rowen is playing along and Milla was part of the setup.
• Alternate Milla asks during a skit what Teepo is made of, only for Elize to refuse and Teepo to ask, in turn, what Alt Milla is made of.
  Alt Milla: "I'm made of... kindness? And rainbows?"
  (Teepo and Elize give cold stares at her)
  Alt Milla: "Oh, come on! Nothing? Not even a smile!?"
• Immediately after Muzét joins your party, there's a skit discussing how different she is to before. Teepo hits the nail on the head for Ludger.
  Teepo: "She used to be a psychopath!"
• Elle, Teepo and Elize tease Alvin about his age and how he is now desperate to be found attractive by younger women, when he tries to flirt with Elize.
  • Choose to go along with the teasing and Alvin says he'll enact revenge on you (the other option causes him to deadpan that his 'joke' is older than Rowen).
    Alvin: "In ten years, I'm going to remind you about this day. And we'll see just how clever you think it is then."
    • Then Alvin proceeds to hug Rollo, saying he's the only one to understand his pain of male adulthood. The girls give him cold stares and Ludger merely shrugs his shoulders.
• The final battle of Xillia has apparently been turned into a wrestling-match.
  Muzét: "I still remember the final battle between Milla and Gaius. When Milla got Gaius in a leg-trap chameleon clutch and forced him to tap out."
  Gaius: "I wasn't 'tapping out', I was reaching for the ropes. The judge called it wrong."
  • Ludger looks genuinely confused by this and accepts it, because Milla joins into their conversation. Jude is forced to tell Ludger that they're joking.
  • If Leia is part of the skit instead of Jude and has Ludger play along with the joke, Leia becomes more and more frustrated that they all keep the Running Gag up way too long.
• A skit between Rowen and Alvin has the former mention how the latter is beginning to grow a beard, but how it's nothing compared to his own. While the two argue, Ludger can agree to either like Rowen's or Alvin's beard more. And then Elle wonders if she'll be able to grow a beard one day. Beards are serious business.
• During the skit 'Nova's Secret', Vera is annoyed that Nova spilled a secret of hers to the party and wants to enact some revenge onto her. Ludger can choose whether to stop her or listen.
  • Stopping her results in Vera realizing that it would be reckless to just blab things so easily. She confesses that she would have told the party about Nova's personal information, like her call history, shopping habits and social security number.
    Alvin: "Yikes. There's personal secrets and then there's... that."
  • Listening will have Vera tell of a story during Nova's college time. She was in love with one of her classmates and intended to give him a present along with a confession, so she stopped by his house. Since he wasn't there, Nova gave the gift to his younger brother and ran off without a word. This caused the younger brother to think that Nova was in love with him and she wasn't brave enough to tell him the truth. Realizing whom she's talking about, Ludger is heartbroken about this - he actually sounds like he's about to cry.
    Rowen: "I believe this is what people call 'karma'."
    • A sort-of follow up skit of 'Rollo's Owner' reveals that Ludger actually was dumped by Nova, without really knowing why, and ran away from home, crying and heartbroken. Though this was also when he and Julius ended up meeting Rollo for the first time.
• The 'Poker Face' skit has the characters lamenting how some are not so good at keeping their cards a secret. Gaius is said to be the epitome of having a great poker face, but then his vicious face is anything but that.
  Gaius: "I will die before I let you have this pot, old man!"

Battle Quotes

• A victory quote with Rowen and Ludger linked.
  Rowen: "This duet comes courtesy of myself and..."
  (Ludger says nothing)
  Rowen: "My rather silent partner."
• Elle berating Alvin, Ludger and Leia that their victory cry and friendship pose is not consistent. Then they all make the V-Sign to the camera... only for them to rush to the front and crowd against each other, vying for the player's attention.
• What victory is based on, according to some.
  Rowen: "Victory is based on..."
  Elize: "Truth!"
  Rowen: "Justice!"
  Elle: "Money!"
  Ludger: "Huh?"
• Win a battle with Gaius and Elize being linked, only for Teepo to cheerfully munch on Gaius' arm or face, to see if he tastes like Gaius Dumplings. Elize is very embarrassed because she now knows that Teepo acts on her subconscious thoughts.
  Teepo: "Mmm, I could get used to this!"
  Elize: "Hey... don't overstay your welcome, Teepo."
  Gaius: "I can see into the void..."
  Teepo: "No, that's just my stomach."
• One of Leia and Alternate Milla's victory poses is a Call-Back to the previous game, with Leia accidentally smacking Milla's butt with her staff.
  Leia: "I remember this!" (twirls around and smacks Alt Milla's behind) "I remember this, too..."
• A post-battle victory pose between Jude and Ludger, when Jude has max Affinity for him.
  Jude: "With you by my side, I fear nothing!"
  Ludger: "Yeah."
  Jude: "Uh..., n-nice weather we're having, isn't it?"
• Linking Leia and Gaius together results in this.
  Leia: "Double, twice the power!"
  Gaius: "What?"
  • Changes slightly, if she is linked with Ludger.
  Leia: "Power is Strength! Wait, that's the same thing..."
• Gaius is standing in his Badass Armfold pose, only for Muzét, Ludger and Elle to copy him. With colored puffs of smoke exploding behind them.
• Gaius and Alvin linked together can result in a victory quote of the two comparing their Demon Fangs and Gaius saying that his is better, because it's bigger.
• A victory skit of Alvin having explained Gaius' Retribution skill to Elle.
  Elle: "Gaius, are you a masochist?"
  Gaius: "Where... did you learn that word?"
  Elle: "Oh, Alvin told me. He says you really love getting attacked."
  Gaius: "Oh, really? We'll see about that, then..."
  Elle: "Kay."
  (Gaius heads off to confront Alvin; camera remains focused on Elle)
  Alvin: (off-screen; scared witless) "Whoa-whoa, chill out, Gaius! Uhaaaa!!"
  (Elle cringes, worried about what just happened)
• Several of the victory poses are still the same as in the previous game, like Teepo motorboating Milla's breasts.

Character Specific

• Elize's GHS ringtone being Teepo's voice.
  "Hey, hey, hey! Answer me!"
• Several of the lines the Xillia cast say while out-and-about.
  • Milla stating that she wants to create 'Maxwell Dumplings' to compete against the Gaius Dumplings, which she says will be cooked by Ludger, of course.
  Milla: "They will be filled with chili peppers, soft gelatin, chicken liver and potatoes. A taste of all four elements in every bite!"
  • Elle's reaction, after Alternate Milla joins the party post-Chapter 7.
    Elle: "You know, Milla, you have really big knockers."
    Alt Milla: "WH-WHAT?! Where did you learn that?! I swear, kids are such a hassle..."
• Muzét's habit of stealing fruit from Hamil.
• There is nothing, nothing that isn't hilarously awesome about having Gaius in your party now. Turns out that last game's Final Boss is hilariously serious.
  • When Ludger asks what Gaius would do to him, if he failed his mission of removing all fractured dimensions: "Death."
  • Refusing to respond when people do not call him Erston and overall being way too into his civilian disguise. Not even when, late in the game, you learn that people know about 'Erston' and see him as a playboy, who is trying to tarnish King Gaius' reputation.
  • Not-so-subtlely insulting Alvin's puny beard, or their similar style of clothing, when he joins your party.
  • When a skit reveals that he notices the difference between Milla's and Alternate Milla's hair, Gaius threatens to declare war on Elympios, if Ludger keeps accusing him of paying too close attention to her hair.
  • His inability of using his GHS. He asks Ludger why his doesn't work anymore, only to be confused when he needs to 'plug it into a power source' to charge it. Or a post-battle quote where he worries that it broke during the battle, only for Rowen to check it out and reveal that Gaius had simply turned it off.
  • Gaius claims to enjoy walking around the streets of Kanbalar, having done so in short sleeves while eating ice cream and invits Ludger into his 'Fortress of Solitude' igloo for some character building.
    • He draws the line at the Kukhar Ice Cavern, which are too cold, even for him.
  • Informing Ludger that he is following him and watching his every move, 'but not in a creepy, stalkery way'.
  • A skit has the party chatting about the Xian Du colisseum, only for Gaius to pull his giant sword out in the middle of the street and demanding to ask 'WHO DARES TO FIGHT WITH ME', just to goad the party into entering the tag battles. He certainly fires up Leia.
  Alt Milla: "How did this ruffian get to be king?"
  • He's forced to leave the party during a story event, because he needs to wash dishes to pay off Muzét's huge food debt, at the rate of 15 Gald per hour. Even better if one talks to Gaius about this when Muzét is standing right next to him. She'll pretend to not know what he's angry about.
  • Admitting that the only person he is actually afraid of is Leia's mother.
  • During the skit of 'Emperor Rollo', Gaius can chase Rollo and demand a duel, when he thinks that the Emperor of Cats is of a higher rank than the king of Rieze Maxia. And this is after he chides Milla for feeling affronted that Rollo may outrank the Lord of Spirits!
  • Declaring in a loud, kingly voice how adorable Teepo would be, he stops Elize and Muzét's fight during a skit.
    Gaius: "TEEPO! IF YOU WERE THE SIZE OF A HOUSE, YOU WOULD BE ALL THE MORE ADORABLE!"
  • Since he doesn't like spicy food, he is eager to try Ludger's 'Elle-Style' Mabo Curry. Rowen has Ludger whip up some 'Adult-Style' Mabo Curry and reveals that this is Rowen's revenge for Gaius having Rowen's old poem anthology be given a second printing, without Rowen's approval.
  • Drunk Gaius. They're discussing Drellin's famous exports: fish and alcohol. Rowen gives Gaius some potato-based spirit and he downs it, when it should be sipped.
    Gaius: "I thee why Rowen... regard it tho... highly..."
    Ludger: "Huh?"
    Elle: "Did he say 'thee'?"
    Rowen: "Gaius, are you feeling alright?
    Gaius: "Of courth I am! My thongue is thimply... thwithed..."
  • Gaius having unexpected preferences, like cats and chocolate parfaits.
• Nova and her various lines when calling Ludger about the debt.
  • If you don't pay into your debt for some time, she'll call you and pretend to act like she's an affair calling her lover.
    Nova: "Hey there, Ludger. It's Nova, your wallet's honeybunny. I do have needs you know and-What? We're in the middle of a meeting? Crap!"
  • Sometimes, she freaks out when you call...
    Nova: "No way! No way! No way! This can't be happening!" (after you pay) "Sorry, Ludger, middle of a crisis here! Noooo!"
  • Couples as a Mood Whiplash, but telling her at during Chapter 12 that you don't care about the debt after you have just killed 'yourself', meaning Victor in the fractured dimension.
    Nova: "What!? No, no, no! Ludger! Don't do it!"
• After maxing out a character's affection and completing their character episodes you can unlock some hidden benefits related to them.
  • For Muzet, Alvin, Milla and Rowen Ludger gets a color variation based on their respective outfits. The way each one gifts these clothes to Ludger is amusing, from Muzet hunting down Ribbits to make the clothes to Ludger questioning Milla if Jude is going to get mad at him for receiving a gift from Milla like this, to which she is confused to why it should matter.
  • For the other characters you can change the name of their linked Mystic Arte with Ludger. Some are tame such as Jude's Judgment of the Heavens, but then there's Elize's Blessed Arte the Pink, where the two use their pro-pinkest power to decimate the enemy.

Other

• The massive amount of cat puns from Miss Kitty Cat when you first encounter her. Jude sums it up well.
  Jude: Let's go 'meow' before she rubs off on us.
• The Linked Arte 'Ride of the Valkyrie' between Rowen and Gaius. It's both of them riding on Rowen's wind-based airplane, all while Gaius is doing his Badass Armfold.
• The Mutton Man returns!
  • And he brought Jerry's old friend with him!
• The jingle Wingul and Gaius had for their Link Arte. Considering their connection in the previous game, this doubles as heartwarming and a tearjerker.
  Too many tribals, too many rivals, no hope for survival! But don'tcha worry! In a hurry, it's the Sound and Fury! In a flurry, they make a scurry, when we make our arrival!
• Using any of the transformation trinkets on the characters. Turn Muzét into Bisley and watch him float around like a fairy. Exchange Elize with Presa or Mint? Watch as Ludger is a total perv and gropes her breasts post-battle. The Battle Book entry warns you that this will happen, if you use the items.
• Similar to the transformation trinkets, the attachments. Mock Gaius' Paper-Thin Disguise as Erston by having him walk around with a censor bar over his eyes and how nobody will recognize him now! Give any character a runny nose during an emotional or dark scene.
• Exactly how funny this is depends on the person's mindset, but the Princess Guard, the best breastguard for Leia, gives her resistance to Shot Artes. Now if only she had had that equipped last game, when Alvin shot her...
• Getting any of the alternate endings has the credits scroll over an image of Ludger cooking, but scared when he sees Elle and Rollo leaping at him.
• The Hot Spring Ending, with the girls locking the guys inside Teepo's stomach. Either because they don't want to bathe together (English version) or because they tried to peep (Japanese version). They even lock Rollo in there!
• The Cameo Ending. After beating the cameo team, Stahn is outraged at Elle's predicament and offers that he and the others head off to Canaan themselves and beat Chronos for you! They use the Eternal Sword to get there, where you read a wonderful description of how they unleashed their Mystic Artes onto them and then return with Elle in tow. Also, with the Trophy and Ludger's diary entry subtlely mocking the player for relying on the cameo characters to take care of things for you. It's still worth for Stahn's "Canaan? More like Can-'n'-Saw-'n'-Conquered!" line.