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Funny / Tabbes

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Food Atrocities

  • As disgusting as they are, the last food is not at all disgusting, but just a personal preference; mixing Reece’s Pieces, Skittles, and M&M’s together.
    Tabbes: Whoever did this, mixing all three of these together, making me have to find these candies one by one, nitpicking it, making my hands all colorful and sticky, fuck you.

How Fights Start on Thanksgiving

  • This line from the beginning of the video:
    Tabbes: Happy Turkey Sacrifice Da- I mean, Thanksgiving everyone.
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  • Tabbes explains why you should never diss grandma:
    Kid: Grandma, your shoes wack!
    Tabbes: Last thing anyone wants to see is a sweet old lady's heart broken.
    Grandma: Oh hell naw, this little bitch has to not just say that 'bout ma fresh kicks! (wacks kid with her cane) Pull yo pants up!
    Tabbes: Or she can diss you back on her own.
    Grandma: You should lawnmower that ugly-ass grass hair too, while you're at it!
  • The thanksgiving clapbacks:
    "You know, tattoos are a lifetime commitment." "But your marriage wasn't."

    "What happened to your little girlfriend?" "Same thing that happened to your teeth."

    "Shouldn't you be outside with kids?" "Shouldn't you be raising yours?"

    "Why do you have a boyfriend at 16?" "Why are you a grandmother at 31?"

    "Why do you have mix and match socks?" "Why do all your kids got mix and match dads?"

DeviantArt Atrocities

  • Tabbes' reaction to the first "art":
    Tabbes: Alright, so we're off to a great start. What the actual fuck is this?
  • Her thoughts on "xxspineloverxx":
    Tabbes: I'd be worried if these people are allowed outside. (...) If you're a classmate, if you're a neighbour, if you're my neighbour's cat, dog, fish, whatever, and you into stuff like that? Especially so openly? We need a minimal continental distance.


Brawl with an Asylum Escapee

  • While the subject itself isn't something to laugh about, throughout the entire fight with the crazed man, Tabbes says she was just thinking one thing:
    Tabbes: Get yo peener away from me! This is ridiculous! I can't believe believe this is the beginning of my Thanksgiving break.

Dealing With Kids

  • The opening has Tabbes trying (and failing) to calm down a crying baby.
    Tabbes: That's it. Up you go! (throws the baby up in the air) Wee! (throws) Wee! (throws) Wee! (thud)...Wee. Whoops, dropped my phone.

Breaking Into The Rooftop (Roommate Stories)

  • The nicknames Tabbes gives to her roommates: Diva, Megatron, and Bubbles.
  • Tabbes likes to pretend she's in a cheesy music video, but Megatron isn't amused.
    Megatron: Hey! Hey! You're dirtying up the window! I can see your hand prints!
    Tabbes: (spitefully wipes her foot on the window in silence)
    Megatron: (look of pure disgust)

My Neighbour Tried To Break Down The Door (Roommate Stories)

  • The "face of pure disinterest" Tabbes gives when her roommates discuss the Kardashians.
  • Tabbes throws a tortilla at her noisy neighbourhood, and he starts pounding on the door. Bubbles and Diva's response?
    Bubbles and Diva: (banging on frying pans with metal spoons) Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! Leave us alone, man! You're a fucking schmuck!
    • Megatron dancing along makes it even funnier.

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